Whenever I watch your videos, I realise how far I've actually come. I occasionally find myself commenting "Well Duh!" in my head, because I find what you say so obvious, and(knee jerk) wondering why other people don't realise it. Then I remember all the loOong decades of work I actually put in to figuring myself out, and am immediately chagrined somewhat because, as a wise man once said: "You can't hold it against people for not knowing what you know". And all my knowledge on the subject was hard won. You can heal yourself to a great extent to make life actually, really worth living, you just have to put in the work. And it's good to keep a record of it so you can be continually amazed at how far you've come. Excellent content as always Mr. Grannon.
Superb news for any non believa's out there! Thus - the journaling.. reading "back" every now and again truly DOES provide irrefutable proof that our efforts in THIS regard DO produce fruit! The good stuff, no more rotten apples wreckin the barrel! Well, at least a few less.. Rome wasn't built in a day!
@@dakoderii4221 Thats interesting, I've just been thinking about the same thing a few days ago. Like my whole family acts as if they were Stasi operators. Now I am living lonely in the forest since 1 year without a job and like a caveman, collecting berries and mushrooms. Barely any human contact. Feels like healing.
@@Wulfis69 funny that. I became aware I was being stalked and devices hacked and my life sabotaged. I said as much to a family member... he got all weird a d mentioned stasi... a d then the whole family a d family friends started saying similar stuff. Full creepy
@@kiwiconnection3580 I have noticed similar behavior with my father. Theres a really easy way to make passwords saved in your internet browser visible. He loves to do that. When I confronted him about him watching my RUclips history and search history, he just acted stupid like it was all by mistake and he doesnt know how to log out of it lol. Pretty scary, that guy was like a hero for me when I was a child and now I realise how pathetic and anxious he is about losing control over people.
Thank you for this clarification on “thinking” about feelings and actually FEELING them🙏 Emotional flashbacks literally put us in time traveling status. Then we are reacting. If it’s hysterical (inappropriate) it’s likely historical. Being able to FEEL the feelings yet not attach to them beyond deep non judgemental curiosity from the higher self, for the lesson, has freed my soul of so much pain! Once I began to allow this, I was able to get into the faulty beliefs created by much of the congested emotional energy. I was able to find many of the lynchpins to patterns of dysfunctional behaviors. I can FINALLY hear it all on a somatic level as well as intelligently & spiritually.💝Now I am grateful for the emotions, even the uncomfortable ones as they are all lessons to further growth. PS: I love the emotional color wheel! Incredibly useful🙏
That was seriously profoundly said. Or you’ve just reached a state of clarity to where you can easily articulate your experiences. Anyways, thank you 💗
@@cup_o_TMarie What is the emotional color wheel? I’m convinced on this emotional literacy thing now, and heading into 2021, I want to flourish. But sometimes I don’t know how I feel. Or I think about and analyze why I feel the way I feel. So I could totally use this emotional color wheel, whatever it is. Thanks 💖😝😜 !!
As in the Zen tradition (Thich Nhat Hanh's teaching), when experiencing an emotion, first: stop; then: look deeply. Sit with the emotion, feel whatever feeling there is, and look deeply into it. So insightful, thank you Richard!
@@katarzynarak9188 What I do is to follow my breath while I sit with the difficult emotion. I breathe from the abdomen until the feeling diminishes. I hope this helps.
@@katarzynarak9188 it's not a painkiller that works immediately, it's a practice. If you practice constantly, you'll feel more comfortable confronting your feelings rather than avoiding them. You'll make friends with them and eventually they'll start lose their grip. You will find yourself witnessing you experiencing your emotions rather than being overwhelmed. But again, it needs practice.
yeah, i've experienced that too. weird was, that my head constantly said and knew, that it's not the same situation. but still, all of me reacted and felt like if i was in that old situation and i was instantly in defense and self protection mode.
@@claudiag965, a few weeks ago a visitor to my job -a friend of my boss - triggered the heck out of me. I grew up with a physically, emotionally and verbally abusive dad. Here I am at age 52 and this guy was loud and I found myself tracking his movement through the barn. I don't even know what he looks like because I didn't really look at his face. Wow! Blew my mind how I went into survival mode. Can I get away, will I have to fight? My friend explained that I'd had an emotional flashback..
@@a_diamond Thanks for the reply and good thoughts...For me it's always Thanksgiving and Christmas....May Each Moment Be A Christmas Moment, filled with Love & Light....and a Thanksgiving Moment, filled with Gratitude....May You Be Blessed In Body, Mind, & Spirit...
@@meowzurrr Thank you :) My family is together this year to see the new. I'm sure my teens will be on the computer, playing some online game. I'm sure my spouse will pass out some time before midnight. I might too lol. But I know we will tell each other "Happy New Year!" some time around midnight, and hug and look forward with a sense of hope for a better year than the last. Such moments glow in my mind because I also know what the alternative looks like. I wish you the same little moments that mean so much, and are impossible to replace.. or lose.. :)
After being married, having children, and living in the same house for a long time I eventually realized that the context of being in my own home, in a family, and not "being able" to leave was giving me emotional flashbacks. It reminded me of being trapped in my childhood home with my family. Long story how that has played out in my own life, but my point is that I can imagine that that is a set of triggers that a lot of people with CPTSD are effected by without realizing it.
Great information. I'm deeply into spiritualism. There is a spiritual law that when an issue is not dealt with at the core it will manifest as a physical ailment. When you mentioned that emotional literacy is like constipation I had an aha moment. My late mother stayed constipated most of her adult life. No amount of laxatives, doctor visits helped. She later passed from colon, pancreatic, and stomach cancer. She was raised in segregated South, abandoned by her father( who lived in the same small town). Yet she shares she never saw anything and had a healthy childhood. And held everything in. I later found out from her best friend that she was in so much pain, anger, bitterness, and resentment during her life. She was emotionally dysregulated. This video was a generational breakthrough gem ty.❤
experiencing your experience and communicated, such an important life lesson. It’s ironic how much pain you experience just because we avoid painful dealings in our emotional world. thank you 🙏🏼 for the upload it came just for time for me
I call the feeling I get "the fear" - but never understood why I had it or where it came from. I go easy on myself those days - wait for it to pass - don't let it win, knowing it will pass.
Did I tell you that I love you Richard? Legendary video. “Assume intelligence”. Feel your feelings. Be sad. Be also at peace with that. You are beautiful to express this; to help with such direct clarity.
You're a gift that keeps on giving! I have family brutalized by similar issues as me. This information is BETTER than ANY purchased gift I could have gotten or passed along to them. Which of course I will
You spoke about the mindfulness and living in the present, trend. There was another, similar trend I also struggled a LOT with. I call it the “everything is AWESOME” only optimism, trend that was being really pushed on us! It made me feel like if I ever felt a negative emotion of any kind, I was a miserable, meathead failure, according to this mindset and the people around me who live it and push it on the rest of us. My preferred emotional state is actually more neutral. It’s for the purpose of seeing the world around me in the clearest and most objective way I can. I really disliked that trend and felt it seriously encouraged people to become very lopsided, emotionally. Those people also seemed to become really strange, in their speech and their behaviours. I avoid those people like the plague because even though they say they’re sooo happy all the time, I really don’t feel it off them. One accused me of being so negative when I stepped off the school bus and said, “it’s a hot day today!” After she shamed me for my “negativity” and informed me how awesome SHE thought it was that it was hot out, I calmly explained to her it was simply an observation, and that I too, was fine with the warm weather. I said “hot” but she hear “BAD!” The worst part is that SHE was the one actually being super negative but she never realized it and never will. When I reflected, I realized that she’s quite rotund and I’m tiny. She hates the extreme heat. I don’t. It was HER who hated the hot, not ME! She attached HER feelings about the heat of the day onto MY comment in order to make it seem “negative”!
I am where I am because I was abused by both parents and a long term spouse. I need to fix the problems that are a result of their poor behavior, on my own. They have zero accountability. I am not in any way responsible for anything that they did but I am responsible for my recovery and figuring out (at least the spouse portion) why I stayed
Thank you, Richard! An emotional flashback can be triggered later in life and surprise you. I was like, what is wrong with me? Caught me off guard. This helps me sort it out.
Love youuuu @Richard Grannon Your videos are pretty much the only stuff that makes sense these days 😋😎🤗 (and also, I am still very jealous that you get to be in Prague (my home town, homeland) more than me (building more free life in Edinburgh) The titles of your videos could be more general as that would attract more people I think. Just a though. Take care. Great message at the end of the year. Sharing it where I can. 🤗😋 This should be streamed every night on the mainstream telly.
Richard once again thanks for doing what you do. You have helped me set myself free from beating myself up for not having enough money for a woman to exploit, to take a stand against this culture. To have strength I never knew.
Thank you so much! ☺️ I know that you've talked about this before, but even I have had difficulty distinguishing between the two at times, so I really appreciate you elaborating on this even more! 🌸🙏💗
This is so powerful that the advertising industry, which employs a great amount of psychological research, uses emotional flashbacks (ties to music /images) to sell products. They start with children. Re:20;24 "emotional deregulation makes one vulnerable to psychopaths and narcissists" and that is exactly what the great machine wanted to achieve. Indeed, mindfulness is also part of this - being "mindful" but unaware...
I started with metaphysical healing and eventually found your channel along the way, and made a lot of progress when I talked with your guy Terry. Very helpful. I have quit smoking and even not smoking pot so much anymore, even doing breath work. Pretty cool - thank you for the info and resources you put out.
Thank you so much! I appreciate your no-nonsense approach, cut the BS etc. Watched 12 hours today with NO regret. First time in a long time that I felt validated and the first time in a long time I've actually held myself accountable for allowing such disrespect. Listening to you has restored some of the self-worth that was lost. Just listening to you today made me feel not so alone. You made me cry and made me laugh. Strange that I don't remember the last time I laughed. After a 30 year marriage, I had a 10 year relationship. I didn't realise until now the connection of the same abuse, different styles. I think I'll sleep well tonight for the first time in years because now, I don't think I'm crazy. Others feel just as crazy too. Thank you again.
Richard I so need you now more than ever..... the one and only video of yours I watched just now, makes so much sense. I am so done with life.... nobody knows... not even my best friend/ husband. I’ve tried so hard for so long to hide my negative emotions from my childhood, just so he could still be proud of me. But I am sinking, I am drowning.... I’ll keep watching, but you have no idea just how much sense you make to me😢 I keep having flashbacks of my mother when she tortured my siblings and I.... forcing us to spread newspapers and fuel through the house so she could burn the house down with us inside. I was 7. As well as all the other stuff I was never allowed to talk about. I have hidden it all for most of my life.... now, as I go through menopause..... these flashbacks are becoming unbearable 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
The subjects you speak about in your video content are not normally what I seek. But YOU make me realise there is value in understanding your content. I usually start watching a video without any intention of watching more than a few minutes, but I regularly end up watching the whole video and feel I've gained the tools to help me be a better me. I thank you for this, you seem to be very talented at what you do. You really are helping people, people you may never meet from across the globe.
Ty so much. Very informative and makes sense. I need to reduce emotional flash backs and I've just now learned I am definitely emotionally illiterate. You've taught me so much and have helped me become aware of just how much I need to stop ONLY watching your videos,, and start working on healing. Thanks again Richard,, Always a pleasure!
I’m a caregiver for a company. I have to swallow a lot from people I work for. Most are nice and I go back.. good seeing you Richard and have a happy new year.
I have learned so much from this & other videos of yours, thank you! I have been on a binge watching spree! I particularly resonate with being emotionally illiterate & gullible. How I have been mocked for being gullible! I remember it at school. Now it all makes sense. I'm starting your fortress work today 😃💞
amen to this Richie.. I have a problem with "THEM" labeling everything as "mental illnesses". i will give them 400+ appropriate behavioral responses/ways of coping to "life" (pain traumas). as humans we emote. i stopped judging my emotions. feel the feels. talk to them. learn the message in it. the emotion itself will tell you if it is an emotional flashback. it will reveal itself. (aah hah) memories will come up or it's an appropriate response in the present situation. the labeling doesn't help anyone. people are stigmatized and made to feel wrong or defective for even having feelings. like THAT helps. thank you MUCHiLY Richie.
Thank you, sir, much appreciated 👍 I'm slowly getting there with the emotional flashbacks. In a very strange way, the 'pandemic' has accelerated my progress. I've had to think about my line on the sand, where I stand on the issue and if I have the courage to be an active part of the counter movement to bring back a little sanity to the world! It's funny... knowing what I would genuinely die for has me living more and more in the present rather than the past. As a consequence, the emotional flashbacks have lessened and when I do have them, I don't get so overtaken by them.
Thank you so much for this. Your videos are life changing for me and so many of us. My flashbacks are from a traumatic childhood with a BPD mom. Any kind of withdrawal of communication can send me to blaming myself. Now I am my own self- HI YA!
Ty Richard the Magician, this also explains exactly why smart women (and men I presume) with significant trauma make dreadful mistakes in personal lives. Happy New Year though. catherine
It's thanks to your videos that I've learned WHAT C-PTSD is even is. I was dxd with it 8 years ago. It was never explained to me any further than "You're wired wrong. You need to be rewired".
Thank you Richard for answering a question I left in the comments a couple of weeks back. I have noticed that a flashback emotion starts with a jolt like an electric shock. I had one this morning. I am doing the healing the superego course at the moment. Excellent.
I love your brutal honesty and i think that this is what much onf the modern society is lacking. Everyone is so fearful for offending that the world now seems to have gone completely bonkers. But the emotional literacy exercises, the exercises of Summon the Self are moving me forward towards a much more healthy lifestyle. Today I have been able to cut out all but one toxic relation, but it is too dying as I refuse to feed it with my guilt and shame. I will stand up for myself, fearless and without guilt. Because that is the two things manipulate, toxic people thrive on. And having these two things in order will put you in a much better spot right away. If you have not started the work on Emotional literacy and management of emotional flashbacks the free course you get if you sign up on Richards site as well as the Fortress Mental Health channel by Richard here on RUclips are great places to start. IF you DO it out will change your life and you will start to see the benefits after a couple of weeks. The work will take time, sure, but it's all worth it.
It was very useful as always, dear Richard. Thank You for being there, sharing so generously your knowledge and experience with us. Have a wonderful , prosperous, happy and healthy New Year.
Nailed it again ..brilliantly insightful..sent link to Mental Health Commissioner and others here ..as definitely need to increase empathy for dynamics if complex trauma around here..I reckon you should be as famous as Freud as paradigm shifter, but he had nephew Bernays, master of propaganda putting his name out there ..glad you at least reach some of us through cyberspace..incredibly helpful ..the whole set etc also suit your esteemed advice
Thank YOU for STANDING UP for EMOTIONS!!! Everything you said was BANG ON. I made a lazy man's journal recording Christmas day where I spoke vehemently about Emotionally Stunted People JUDGING those of us who are wading into our Emotion Pools to explore the waters... THAT IS the ONLY PLACE on EARTH to HEAL peeps.... CRY yer eyes out... BASH ON 🥊🌞💪😲🥊🌞💪☺🥊
It was such a good video. The best hint i got from you (true vs. flashback emotion) was that your personality and belief system changes when you experience the flashback. I have noticed that there are certain events that trigger me to be overwhelmingly upset. And when this happens the way I perceive the word is so different compare to my normal rather optimistic self. I call it “the other me”. And it’s clearly some coping mechanisms. I always consider those episodes as “not real feelings or perspective”, but nevertheless still very unpleasant. And yeah - it doesn’t help that the world expects you to by emotionally numb. We end up hiding our bad emotions, even sadness, because what we get to hear from others is “there is no reason to feel that way” or “the problem is in you, you need to control your emotions”. So annoying.
Richard thank you, this is the main topic I am dealing with, this help me a lot. I observe myself, write down, do EL exercises and I progress, slowly but surely. There is a long way to go. From complete numbness through feeling SOMETHING ( without some idea of what it would be) to being aware of what, where and why. Well, yesterday at the earthquake I felt a very authentic fear 😉 At times I start to feel alive, what a wonderful feeling!
The grief-depression question plagued me after my mom passed away. I started numbing because I couldn’t process my grief and be a smiling mom/ Customer service manager at the same time. My doctor was quick to treat depression but a few years later I find myself (to borrow a phrase) quite “emotionally constipated”. Thank you for your insights, my friend. 🤟
Recent emotional flashback was stronger than the circumstances warranted... when ex unexpectedly showed up at a social event I took a deep breath and allowed myself to decide to leave & felt better with each passing mile . The intensity of the emotions still caught me off guard. Fine 10 minutes later 👍🏻
Emotional Literacy course works..I started to Dream again..Mapping these thoughts and feelings takes the corrosion away..over time it certainly helps to look within. Thankyou
Between his voice and his face, I forget about the Narcissistic people who've hurt me and focus on how beautiful his entire aura is. Wish his videos were longer as his voice relaxes me to a peaceful place. So glad I subscribed.
I'm sitting here sobbing Richard. Thank you. After my trauma I have been presenting a perfect front to people.......nothing wrong. I've been living like this for years. I don't know if I can change now but I'm going to modify my behaviour with the view to change. I studied psychology for 8 months before dropping it. I realise I dropped it because I didn't want to know myself more and I was scared of what I might find within me. Edit: 18 months
Thank you so much for answering my question! Really appreciate it. I am not sure where to turn anymore. I am a strong person (my story), but just ridiculously falling apart and unravelling terribly right now. Mostly stress I think. My people are being killed off by government sanctioned thugs(genocide) , I married into a narcisistic/borderline family 2 years ago and I think covid is not helping any. Our govt also has BPD, the policemen actually killed people for not wearing masks. One of the victims was an autistic boy of 16 years. My people all seem to have a collective CPTSD response and believe it or not, I actually feel a responsibility to try to help. But since I've started this healing journey, I get incoming accusations from every side. My mom was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago and she feels sorry for herself. Oldest daughter of my hubby is destroying her life with drugs (BPD). I was diagnosed with what psychologist called Complex Trauma about 6 years ago, but cant afford therapy. He told me there are 7 forms of abuse (physical, mental, sexual etc.) and that I show signs of abuse on all 7. My DIY methods of healing is creating new symptoms, body aches, severe headaches. And all of this makes me sound like a freaking victim which is very far from the truth, since I am the strongest person I know and have let go of my victim story at least 16 years ago. Falling apart here and confused of how to try to help myself. Not even sure if you read your comments, but trying to reach out for a word of advice please. Any advice please. My brain is paining from trying to figure this out.
Check out 7 cups app, I volunteer there and it's a good resource to talk to someone for free. You can also look up NAMI (if you're in the US) who can connect you to free support in your area. Good luck.
@@RachelsPortal Check out therapyroute .com and browse the crisis lines in South Africa, they have resources to free assistance. Good on you for reaching out for help - it takes a strong person. All the best to you, and hope you're able to connect to someone. Holidays are tough, especially when you're already under stress. Feel better darling, please reach out to someone
I started trauma therapy in January and have been allowing myself to feel all repressed emotions. Hope the panic attacks subside eventually 🤞🏼I accept them and just ride through them.
So true ... sometimes you need antidepressants to go away from emotional flashbacks... and more videos or communities help doesn’t really help anymore , cause not everything can be solved on a cognitive platform... if the flashbacks change the chemistry in the body .
I unfortunately had 2 narcissistic abusive relationships which resulted in me diagnosed with cptsd in lockdown thanks to my ex who was my carer. Your videos have helped me go into recovery so thank you 😊 🙏
That is not quite true. Emotional memories are stored in a different part of the brain than narrative memories. What he refers to as emotional flashbacks are responses from the limbic system, which isn't the same thing as someone having good recall.
Richard I hope you enjoyed Christmas and I wish you A Very Happy NEW YEAR 🎉🎊 Same to our community of beautiful people! Thank you for all the support and effort you’re giving us Hopes, it is working great ! Cheers 🥂🎇🎆
Thank you for this video. The other day I had a nuclear meltdown and for once I was able to pinpoint the actual emotion - defeat. I felt complete and utter defeat. I raged, I cried, I lamented... I also realized, since it was a day or two before Christmas, that I apparently am one of those people that goes into a funk around the holidays, so it helped to recognize that, too. If it hadn't been for you, your videos, your courses, I wouldn't even be this far.
I definitely see emotional flashbacks occurring on a seasonal rhythm. I recognized that every November I would get very emotional and depressed and realized that it was the anniversary of my daughter’s type 1 diabetes diagnosis and my son’s asthma diagnosis that occurred in November that was pushing me into a flashback every year for a long time. It still blows my mind how the weather or just about anything can bring on a negative feeling. Thank the universe that Richard has brought this to light.
@@deannak.s.3135 I think I recognized the holiday issue last year, but of course, over a year's time forgot. Two unrelated (ish) things came together - the holiday issue and other issues. And the two things combined was a recipe for disaster. Hopefully, I'll remember the holiday issue next year when it rolls around again. Might be able to stave off major meltdowns if I prepare myself better.
Everyone should read this it is so appropriate and makes so much sense, after a difficult Christmas because of my estranged family. This has been brilliant in allowing me to unravel my own emotions and take control of who I really am. Thank you Richard, wishing you all the best for 2021
Thanks for the video. It helps listening to someone eles. I've been angry all my life and know it's from the CPTSD. Since the age of 8 I would always be suspicious of others and wasn't normal as a child to be like that. I can't let go of past cause what others did to me.
This was so good. I'd love to hear about catastrophizing but not in a delusional way but in an experiential way. Past experiences seem to color my decisions (isolation). I have tried to ignore it and every time those "catastrophic" results come true. If every time you put your hand in a fire it burns it's hard to think you can try it endlessly and sometime you may not get burned. I know that's simplistic but when you're good at reading people and always get the same results it's hard to risk it all, yet again. Back to the hand-in-the-fire analogy, once burned each subsequent burn on the same hand is more painful, especially if you don't get time to heal the original burn. Simple warm air feels like burning coals. Your nerves are raw.
Thanks for this dude. Really helps to put things into perspective. Can you share anything on how to draw the line between 'experiencing our own emotions' vs 'experiencing the emotions of others' and what's the best thing to do when people feel like they're becoming everybody else's emotions?
Whenever I watch your videos, I realise how far I've actually come. I occasionally find myself commenting "Well Duh!" in my head, because I find what you say so obvious, and(knee jerk) wondering why other people don't realise it. Then I remember all the loOong decades of work I actually put in to figuring myself out, and am immediately chagrined somewhat because, as a wise man once said: "You can't hold it against people for not knowing what you know". And all my knowledge on the subject was hard won. You can heal yourself to a great extent to make life actually, really worth living, you just have to put in the work. And it's good to keep a record of it so you can be continually amazed at how far you've come. Excellent content as always Mr. Grannon.
Superb news for any non believa's out there! Thus - the journaling.. reading "back" every now and again truly DOES provide irrefutable proof that our efforts in THIS regard DO produce fruit! The good stuff, no more rotten apples wreckin the barrel! Well, at least a few less.. Rome wasn't built in a day!
@@tater4379 but Jesus was resurrected In 3 days
Same here! You said it better than I could.
I remember this. It is one of my favorite no-fire talks. ♥️
I don't see ex political prisoners over here but I see many adult children ex prisoners of psyho abusive parents.
@@dakoderii4221 Thats interesting, I've just been thinking about the same thing a few days ago. Like my whole family acts as if they were Stasi operators. Now I am living lonely in the forest since 1 year without a job and like a caveman, collecting berries and mushrooms. Barely any human contact. Feels like healing.
@@Wulfis69 ❤
@@Wulfis69 funny that. I became aware I was being stalked and devices hacked and my life sabotaged. I said as much to a family member... he got all weird a d mentioned stasi... a d then the whole family a d family friends started saying similar stuff. Full creepy
@@kiwiconnection3580 I have noticed similar behavior with my father. Theres a really easy way to make passwords saved in your internet browser visible. He loves to do that. When I confronted him about him watching my RUclips history and search history, he just acted stupid like it was all by mistake and he doesnt know how to log out of it lol. Pretty scary, that guy was like a hero for me when I was a child and now I realise how pathetic and anxious he is about losing control over people.
@@Wulfis69 same. Everyone will feel better when they finally get behind the trees. They rly shud try & feel
Thank you for this clarification on “thinking” about feelings and actually FEELING them🙏
Emotional flashbacks literally put us in time traveling status. Then we are reacting. If it’s hysterical (inappropriate) it’s likely historical.
Being able to FEEL the feelings yet not attach to them beyond deep non judgemental curiosity from the higher self, for the lesson, has freed my soul of so much pain!
Once I began to allow this, I was able to get into the faulty beliefs created by much of the congested emotional energy. I was able to find many of the lynchpins to patterns of dysfunctional behaviors.
I can FINALLY hear it all on a somatic level as well as intelligently & spiritually.💝Now I am grateful for the emotions, even the uncomfortable ones as they are all lessons to further growth.
PS: I love the emotional color wheel! Incredibly useful🙏
So very well said .. Observe don't Absorb as I (believe) Judith Orloff (auth. Emotional Freedom et al) would say....
That was seriously profoundly said. Or you’ve just reached a state of clarity to where you can easily articulate your experiences. Anyways, thank you 💗
@@tater4379 🙏💖
@@orchidsrising7910 🙏💖
@@cup_o_TMarie What is the emotional color wheel? I’m convinced on this emotional literacy thing now, and heading into 2021, I want to flourish. But sometimes I don’t know how I feel. Or I think about and analyze why I feel the way I feel. So I could totally use this emotional color wheel, whatever it is. Thanks 💖😝😜 !!
As in the Zen tradition (Thich Nhat Hanh's teaching), when experiencing an emotion, first: stop; then: look deeply. Sit with the emotion, feel whatever feeling there is, and look deeply into it.
So insightful, thank you Richard!
I do that, too. it is really helpful.
Ok - I feel tired (mentally). What should I do next? I've already sat with it, felt it, and looked deeply into it.
@@katarzynarak9188 What I do is to follow my breath while I sit with the difficult emotion. I breathe from the abdomen until the feeling diminishes. I hope this helps.
@@janetpearson6467 Sounds easy enough, I think it's worth trying, thank You.
@@katarzynarak9188 it's not a painkiller that works immediately, it's a practice. If you practice constantly, you'll feel more comfortable confronting your feelings rather than avoiding them. You'll make friends with them and eventually they'll start lose their grip. You will find yourself witnessing you experiencing your emotions rather than being overwhelmed. But again, it needs practice.
I also feel like emotional flashbacks create some type of tunnel vision and a weird trance like state where you just want to act on compulsions.
yeah, i've experienced that too. weird was, that my head constantly said and knew, that it's not the same situation. but still, all of me reacted and felt like if i was in that old situation and i was instantly in defense and self protection mode.
Yes, the same
I’ve felt that too
@@claudiag965, a few weeks ago a visitor to my job -a friend of my boss - triggered the heck out of me. I grew up with a physically, emotionally and verbally abusive dad. Here I am at age 52 and this guy was loud and I found myself tracking his movement through the barn. I don't even know what he looks like because I didn't really look at his face.
Wow! Blew my mind how I went into survival mode. Can I get away, will I have to fight?
My friend explained that I'd had an emotional flashback..
Tunnel vision is described by police officers when they have to deploy their weapon to save their own life.
I thank you for your brutal honestly sir, wish I was told this years ago
Merry Christmas & a Beautiful New Year Richard!! Also, same wish for each being on this on-lline community!! Peace Out!!
Ty & Also to you!
Happy New Year :)
(it's after Christmas, but all the same, I hope it was a good one ..)
@@a_diamond Thanks for the reply and good thoughts...For me it's always Thanksgiving and Christmas....May Each Moment Be A Christmas Moment, filled with Love & Light....and a Thanksgiving Moment, filled with Gratitude....May You Be Blessed In Body, Mind, & Spirit...
@@meowzurrr Thank you :) My family is together this year to see the new. I'm sure my teens will be on the computer, playing some online game. I'm sure my spouse will pass out some time before midnight. I might too lol. But I know we will tell each other "Happy New Year!" some time around midnight, and hug and look forward with a sense of hope for a better year than the last.
Such moments glow in my mind because I also know what the alternative looks like.
I wish you the same little moments that mean so much, and are impossible to replace.. or lose..
:)
@@a_diamond Thank You!! You truly are "A Diamond"!!!
As much as I’ve read about and listened to videos about emotional flashbacks, this is the most helpful yet! Thank you!!!
Thank you for this, you’re doing priceless work here sir.
After being married, having children, and living in the same house for a long time I eventually realized that the context of being in my own home, in a family, and not "being able" to leave was giving me emotional flashbacks. It reminded me of being trapped in my childhood home with my family. Long story how that has played out in my own life, but my point is that I can imagine that that is a set of triggers that a lot of people with CPTSD are effected by without realizing it.
Wow, that's a perspective I had not considered. That could explain a significant amount of (root cause of) behaviors. Thank you for mentioning it.
He sounds fake sometimes - and he for sure has done things that are illegal, drugs?
Great information. I'm deeply into spiritualism. There is a spiritual law that when an issue is not dealt with at the core it will manifest as a physical ailment. When you mentioned that emotional literacy is like constipation I had an aha moment. My late mother stayed constipated most of her adult life. No amount of laxatives, doctor visits helped. She later passed from colon, pancreatic, and stomach cancer. She was raised in segregated South, abandoned by her father( who lived in the same small town). Yet she shares she never saw anything and had a healthy childhood. And held everything in. I later found out from her best friend that she was in so much pain, anger, bitterness, and resentment during her life. She was emotionally dysregulated. This video was a generational breakthrough gem ty.❤
Always so happy to refer someone I meet to your channel who is going thru it. Grateful for your channel for those in need
experiencing your experience and communicated, such an important life lesson.
It’s ironic how much pain you experience just because we avoid painful dealings in our emotional world.
thank you 🙏🏼 for the upload it came just for time for me
I call the feeling I get "the fear" - but never understood why I had it or where it came from.
I go easy on myself those days - wait for it to pass - don't let it win, knowing it will pass.
Very good explanation. Thank you🙏
Putting glitter on emotions validates them.
Awesome! you always explain everything with incredible depth.
Thanks for all you do mate, really appreciate it to the core of my being
Did I tell you that I love you Richard? Legendary video. “Assume intelligence”. Feel your feelings. Be sad. Be also at peace with that. You are beautiful to express this; to help with such direct clarity.
You are. As always, utterly inspired Richard. Thank you.
"And emotionally numb! Yay!"hahaha love you . This is my exact sense of humor. Gotta laugh or you'll cry.
Yes...
Thank you for all you contribute to my life Richard. I’m continuously grateful for what you’re videos have done for my healing. ❤️❤️❤️
You're a gift that keeps on giving! I have family brutalized by similar issues as me. This information is BETTER than ANY purchased gift I could have gotten or passed along to them. Which of course I will
You spoke about the mindfulness and living in the present, trend. There was another, similar trend I also struggled a LOT with. I call it the “everything is AWESOME” only optimism, trend that was being really pushed on us! It made me feel like if I ever felt a negative emotion of any kind, I was a miserable, meathead failure, according to this mindset and the people around me who live it and push it on the rest of us. My preferred emotional state is actually more neutral. It’s for the purpose of seeing the world around me in the clearest and most objective way I can. I really disliked that trend and felt it seriously encouraged people to become very lopsided, emotionally. Those people also seemed to become really strange, in their speech and their behaviours. I avoid those people like the plague because even though they say they’re sooo happy all the time, I really don’t feel it off them. One accused me of being so negative when I stepped off the school bus and said, “it’s a hot day today!” After she shamed me for my “negativity” and informed me how awesome SHE thought it was that it was hot out, I calmly explained to her it was simply an observation, and that I too, was fine with the warm weather. I said “hot” but she hear “BAD!” The worst part is that SHE was the one actually being super negative but she never realized it and never will. When I reflected, I realized that she’s quite rotund and I’m tiny. She hates the extreme heat. I don’t. It was HER who hated the hot, not ME! She attached HER feelings about the heat of the day onto MY comment in order to make it seem “negative”!
I am where I am because I was abused by both parents and a long term spouse. I need to fix the problems that are a result of their poor behavior, on my own. They have zero accountability. I am not in any way responsible for anything that they did but I am responsible for my recovery and figuring out (at least the spouse portion) why I stayed
Thank you, Richard! An emotional flashback can be triggered later in life and surprise you. I was like, what is wrong with me? Caught me off guard. This helps me sort it out.
Love youuuu @Richard Grannon
Your videos are pretty much the only stuff that makes sense these days 😋😎🤗
(and also, I am still very jealous that you get to be in Prague (my home town, homeland) more than me (building more free life in Edinburgh)
The titles of your videos could be more general as that would attract more people I think. Just a though.
Take care.
Great message at the end of the year. Sharing it where I can.
🤗😋
This should be streamed every night on the mainstream telly.
Richard once again thanks for doing what you do. You have helped me set myself free from beating myself up for not having enough money for a woman to exploit, to take a stand against this culture. To have strength I never knew.
Thank you so much! ☺️ I know that you've talked about this before, but even I have had difficulty distinguishing between the two at times, so I really appreciate you elaborating on this even more! 🌸🙏💗
This is so powerful that the advertising industry, which employs a great amount of psychological research, uses emotional flashbacks (ties to music /images) to sell products. They start with children.
Re:20;24 "emotional deregulation makes one vulnerable to psychopaths and narcissists" and that is exactly what the great machine wanted to achieve. Indeed, mindfulness is also part of this - being "mindful" but unaware...
Wow. You're making me think of Don Draper when he presents the Carousel.... sniff, sniff, tears flowing all around.
I started with metaphysical healing and eventually found your channel along the way, and made a lot of progress when I talked with your guy Terry. Very helpful. I have quit smoking and even not smoking pot so much anymore, even doing breath work. Pretty cool - thank you for the info and resources you put out.
Thank you so much! I appreciate your no-nonsense approach, cut the BS etc. Watched 12 hours today with NO regret. First time in a long time that I felt validated and the first time in a long time I've actually held myself accountable for allowing such disrespect. Listening to you has restored some of the self-worth that was lost. Just listening to you today made me feel not so alone. You made me cry and made me laugh. Strange that I don't remember the last time I laughed. After a 30 year marriage, I had a 10 year relationship. I didn't realise until now the connection of the same abuse, different styles. I think I'll sleep well tonight for the first time in years because now, I don't think I'm crazy. Others feel just as crazy too. Thank you again.
I can’t tell you how grateful I am to find your work here it’s helping so much thank you 🙏🏼
Richard I so need you now more than ever..... the one and only video of yours I watched just now, makes so much sense. I am so done with life.... nobody knows... not even my best friend/ husband. I’ve tried so hard for so long to hide my negative emotions from my childhood, just so he could still be proud of me. But I am sinking, I am drowning.... I’ll keep watching, but you have no idea just how much sense you make to me😢 I keep having flashbacks of my mother when she tortured my siblings and I.... forcing us to spread newspapers and fuel through the house so she could burn the house down with us inside. I was 7. As well as all the other stuff I was never allowed to talk about. I have hidden it all for most of my life.... now, as I go through menopause..... these flashbacks are becoming unbearable 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
Hi Richard
Appreciate you making these available in podcast format, hope you can continue to update them.
I've been home with my family and we all have the virus 🦠, so glad to listen to you as a normal thing in my life. Take care Richard! Happy New Year!
The subjects you speak about in your video content are not normally what I seek. But YOU make me realise there is value in understanding your content. I usually start watching a video without any intention of watching more than a few minutes, but I regularly end up watching the whole video and feel I've gained the tools to help me be a better me. I thank you for this, you seem to be very talented at what you do. You really are helping people, people you may never meet from across the globe.
Great to see you back making videos Richard. Great topic as well.
Ty so much. Very informative and makes sense. I need to reduce emotional flash backs and I've just now learned I am definitely emotionally illiterate. You've taught me so much and have helped me become aware of just how much I need to stop ONLY watching your videos,, and start working on healing. Thanks again Richard,, Always a pleasure!
I’m a caregiver for a company. I have to swallow a lot from people I work for. Most are nice and I go back.. good seeing you Richard and have a happy new year.
This is the best explanation I’ve heard about trauma.
At 8:23 - Everyone struggling with psycholgical trauma should listen to this advice.
It is the best advice i have heard on the topic.
I have learned so much from this & other videos of yours, thank you! I have been on a binge watching spree! I particularly resonate with being emotionally illiterate & gullible. How I have been mocked for being gullible! I remember it at school. Now it all makes sense. I'm starting your fortress work today 😃💞
amen to this Richie..
I have a problem with "THEM" labeling everything as "mental illnesses". i will give them 400+ appropriate behavioral responses/ways of coping to "life" (pain traumas). as humans we emote. i stopped judging my emotions. feel the feels. talk to them. learn the message in it. the emotion itself will tell you if it is an emotional flashback. it will reveal itself. (aah hah) memories will come up or it's an appropriate response in the present situation. the labeling doesn't help anyone. people are stigmatized and made to feel wrong or defective for even having feelings. like THAT helps. thank you MUCHiLY Richie.
Thank you, sir, much appreciated 👍 I'm slowly getting there with the emotional flashbacks. In a very strange way, the 'pandemic' has accelerated my progress. I've had to think about my line on the sand, where I stand on the issue and if I have the courage to be an active part of the counter movement to bring back a little sanity to the world!
It's funny... knowing what I would genuinely die for has me living more and more in the present rather than the past. As a consequence, the emotional flashbacks have lessened and when I do have them, I don't get so overtaken by them.
This is definitely one of my favorite videos from you. Thank you for your work
Thank you so much for this. Your videos are life changing for me and so many of us. My flashbacks are from a traumatic childhood with a BPD mom. Any kind of withdrawal of communication can send me to blaming myself. Now I am my own self- HI YA!
WOW. Going to be re-watching and taking notes. So good! Thank you sir.
This is gold. Thankyou Richard.
Ty Richard the Magician, this also explains exactly why smart women (and men I presume) with significant trauma make dreadful mistakes in personal lives. Happy New Year though. catherine
An apposite time for such a reminder - thank you Richie.
It's thanks to your videos that I've learned WHAT C-PTSD is even is. I was dxd with it 8 years ago. It was never explained to me any further than "You're wired wrong. You need to be rewired".
Thank you Richard for answering a question I left in the comments a couple of weeks back. I have noticed that a flashback emotion starts with a jolt like an electric shock. I had one this morning. I am doing the healing the superego course at the moment. Excellent.
Thank you. This was very useful. I feel somewhat optimistic/encouraged to rebuild from a new perspective ...
Love all of the questions you ask your emotions....talk to me emotions..very good...
I love this explanation 💜Thank you !
Knowing the difference has changed my life. Why? Because I can now CHOOSE how to respond. I did not know this was even possible!
Omg this was incredibly eye opening. Thank you
Everybody should listen to this video, and I mean everybody. Twice. Thank you Mr Grannon, so much.
Great explanation as always Richard! 🍃💞🍃
I love your brutal honesty and i think that this is what much onf the modern society is lacking. Everyone is so fearful for offending that the world now seems to have gone completely bonkers.
But the emotional literacy exercises, the exercises of Summon the Self are moving me forward towards a much more healthy lifestyle. Today I have been able to cut out all but one toxic relation, but it is too dying as I refuse to feed it with my guilt and shame.
I will stand up for myself, fearless and without guilt. Because that is the two things manipulate, toxic people thrive on. And having these two things in order will put you in a much better spot right away.
If you have not started the work on Emotional literacy and management of emotional flashbacks the free course you get if you sign up on Richards site as well as the Fortress Mental Health channel by Richard here on RUclips are great places to start. IF you DO it out will change your life and you will start to see the benefits after a couple of weeks. The work will take time, sure, but it's all worth it.
It was very useful as always, dear Richard. Thank You for being there, sharing so generously your knowledge and experience with us. Have a wonderful , prosperous, happy and healthy New Year.
Such a good explanation and distinguishing!
Nailed it again ..brilliantly insightful..sent link to Mental Health Commissioner and others here ..as definitely need to increase empathy for dynamics if complex trauma around here..I reckon you should be as famous as Freud as paradigm shifter, but he had nephew Bernays, master of propaganda putting his name out there ..glad you at least reach some of us through cyberspace..incredibly helpful ..the whole set etc also suit your esteemed advice
Thank YOU for STANDING UP for EMOTIONS!!! Everything you said was BANG ON. I made a lazy man's journal recording Christmas day where I spoke vehemently about Emotionally Stunted People JUDGING those of us who are wading into our Emotion Pools to explore the waters...
THAT IS the ONLY PLACE on EARTH to HEAL peeps.... CRY yer eyes out... BASH ON 🥊🌞💪😲🥊🌞💪☺🥊
It was such a good video. The best hint i got from you (true vs. flashback emotion) was that your personality and belief system changes when you experience the flashback. I have noticed that there are certain events that trigger me to be overwhelmingly upset. And when this happens the way I perceive the word is so different compare to my normal rather optimistic self. I call it “the other me”. And it’s clearly some coping mechanisms. I always consider those episodes as “not real feelings or perspective”, but nevertheless still very unpleasant. And yeah - it doesn’t help that the world expects you to by emotionally numb. We end up hiding our bad emotions, even sadness, because what we get to hear from others is “there is no reason to feel that way” or “the problem is in you, you need to control your emotions”. So annoying.
It is Frozen emotion. Thank you for this!! 💕
Thank you Sir Richard , I knight you . Very profound what you said about mindfulness being centered on your head. Never thought of that before.
Some people really need to watch this , people really think it’s your past that triggers their emotions
Richard thank you, this is the main topic I am dealing with, this help me a lot. I observe myself, write down, do EL exercises and I progress, slowly but surely. There is a long way to go. From complete numbness through feeling SOMETHING ( without some idea of what it would be) to being aware of what, where and why. Well, yesterday at the earthquake I felt a very authentic fear 😉 At times I start to feel alive, what a wonderful feeling!
You're vocabulary re:psychology is fantastic!
Labeling , patholiging emotional responses to experiences has emotionally crippled enough generations.
Happiness and Freedom to you and Family in the New Year ❤️🌻🌻🌻, thank youuuu 🙂
The grief-depression question plagued me after my mom passed away. I started numbing because I couldn’t process my grief and be a smiling mom/ Customer service manager at the same time. My doctor was quick to treat depression but a few years later I find myself (to borrow a phrase) quite “emotionally constipated”. Thank you for your insights, my friend. 🤟
Recent emotional flashback was stronger than the circumstances warranted... when ex unexpectedly showed up at a social event I took a deep breath and allowed myself to decide to leave & felt better with each passing mile . The intensity of the emotions still caught me off guard. Fine 10 minutes later 👍🏻
Thank you for your work Richard. You have helped me a lot. Happy New Year! 🎆
Emotional Literacy course works..I started to Dream again..Mapping these thoughts and feelings takes the corrosion away..over time it certainly helps to look within. Thankyou
Thank you Richard! Needed to hear this today! Happy holidays 💕
Thank you for this. Helps understanding the conditioning.
I am never as far with my healing as I think😅 I forget to ask myself and no one asks apart from my paid shrink. Eugh this sounds pathetic🥴🤣
Between his voice and his face, I forget about the Narcissistic people who've hurt me and focus on how beautiful his entire aura is. Wish his videos were longer as his voice relaxes me to a peaceful place. So glad I subscribed.
I'm sitting here sobbing Richard. Thank you. After my trauma I have been presenting a perfect front to people.......nothing wrong. I've been living like this for years. I don't know if I can change now but I'm going to modify my behaviour with the view to change. I studied psychology for 8 months before dropping it. I realise I dropped it because I didn't want to know myself more and I was scared of what I might find within me.
Edit: 18 months
Thank you so much for answering my question! Really appreciate it.
I am not sure where to turn anymore. I am a strong person (my story), but just ridiculously falling apart and unravelling terribly right now. Mostly stress I think. My people are being killed off by government sanctioned thugs(genocide) , I married into a narcisistic/borderline family 2 years ago and I think covid is not helping any. Our govt also has BPD, the policemen actually killed people for not wearing masks. One of the victims was an autistic boy of 16 years. My people all seem to have a collective CPTSD response and believe it or not, I actually feel a responsibility to try to help. But since I've started this healing journey, I get incoming accusations from every side. My mom was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago and she feels sorry for herself. Oldest daughter of my hubby is destroying her life with drugs (BPD). I was diagnosed with what psychologist called Complex Trauma about 6 years ago, but cant afford therapy. He told me there are 7 forms of abuse (physical, mental, sexual etc.) and that I show signs of abuse on all 7. My DIY methods of healing is creating new symptoms, body aches, severe headaches. And all of this makes me sound like a freaking victim which is very far from the truth, since I am the strongest person I know and have let go of my victim story at least 16 years ago. Falling apart here and confused of how to try to help myself. Not even sure if you read your comments, but trying to reach out for a word of advice please. Any advice please. My brain is paining from trying to figure this out.
Check out 7 cups app, I volunteer there and it's a good resource to talk to someone for free. You can also look up NAMI (if you're in the US) who can connect you to free support in your area. Good luck.
@@mellern1 Thank you so much! I am in South Africa, but I will download 7 cups. Any help right now. Thank you again.
@@RachelsPortal Check out therapyroute .com and browse the crisis lines in South Africa, they have resources to free assistance. Good on you for reaching out for help - it takes a strong person. All the best to you, and hope you're able to connect to someone. Holidays are tough, especially when you're already under stress. Feel better darling, please reach out to someone
@@mellern1 Thank you! I really appreciate that. I will look on that website too.
I started trauma therapy in January and have been allowing myself to feel all repressed emotions. Hope the panic attacks subside eventually 🤞🏼I accept them and just ride through them.
Thank you Richard, good clarification of a tricky area. Hope you are enjoying your time with family 🙏🏻
So true ... sometimes you need antidepressants to go away from emotional flashbacks... and more videos or communities help doesn’t really help anymore , cause not everything can be solved on a cognitive platform... if the flashbacks change the chemistry in the body .
I unfortunately had 2 narcissistic abusive relationships which resulted in me diagnosed with cptsd in lockdown thanks to my ex who was my carer. Your videos have helped me go into recovery so thank you 😊 🙏
I imagine having a better memory allows for more propensity of the emotional flashback experience.
That is not quite true. Emotional memories are stored in a different part of the brain than narrative memories. What he refers to as emotional flashbacks are responses from the limbic system, which isn't the same thing as someone having good recall.
Thank you! Love seeing your videos pop up!
Richard I hope you enjoyed Christmas and I wish you A Very Happy NEW YEAR 🎉🎊 Same to our community of beautiful people! Thank you for all the support and effort you’re giving us Hopes, it is working great ! Cheers 🥂🎇🎆
Thank fuck for you, your content is a gem
Thank you for this video. The other day I had a nuclear meltdown and for once I was able to pinpoint the actual emotion - defeat. I felt complete and utter defeat. I raged, I cried, I lamented... I also realized, since it was a day or two before Christmas, that I apparently am one of those people that goes into a funk around the holidays, so it helped to recognize that, too. If it hadn't been for you, your videos, your courses, I wouldn't even be this far.
I definitely see emotional flashbacks occurring on a seasonal rhythm. I recognized that every November I would get very emotional and depressed and realized that it was the anniversary of my daughter’s type 1 diabetes diagnosis and my son’s asthma diagnosis that occurred in November that was pushing me into a flashback every year for a long time.
It still blows my mind how the weather or just about anything can bring on a negative feeling. Thank the universe that Richard has brought this to light.
@@deannak.s.3135 I think I recognized the holiday issue last year, but of course, over a year's time forgot. Two unrelated (ish) things came together - the holiday issue and other issues. And the two things combined was a recipe for disaster. Hopefully, I'll remember the holiday issue next year when it rolls around again. Might be able to stave off major meltdowns if I prepare myself better.
Everyone should read this it is so appropriate and makes so much sense, after a difficult Christmas because of my estranged family. This has been brilliant in allowing me to unravel my own emotions and take control of who I really am. Thank you Richard, wishing you all the best for 2021
Outstanding. Thank you.
Wonderful Explanation~ It is a Journey ~ Always checking myself~Facing my Fears has helped~ThankYou~
Wow, this video was SO helpful!
Thanks for the video. It helps listening to someone eles. I've been angry all my life and know it's from the CPTSD. Since the age of 8 I would always be suspicious of others and wasn't normal as a child to be like that. I can't let go of past cause what others did to me.
Very useful; and again, thank you for your time.
So true! Excellent presentation!
solid gold Richie G
This was so good. I'd love to hear about catastrophizing but not in a delusional way but in an experiential way. Past experiences seem to color my decisions (isolation). I have tried to ignore it and every time those "catastrophic" results come true. If every time you put your hand in a fire it burns it's hard to think you can try it endlessly and sometime you may not get burned. I know that's simplistic but when you're good at reading people and always get the same results it's hard to risk it all, yet again. Back to the hand-in-the-fire analogy, once burned each subsequent burn on the same hand is more painful, especially if you don't get time to heal the original burn. Simple warm air feels like burning coals. Your nerves are raw.
Raises so many more questions
Thanks for this dude. Really helps to put things into perspective.
Can you share anything on how to draw the line between 'experiencing our own emotions' vs 'experiencing the emotions of others' and what's the best thing to do when people feel like they're becoming everybody else's emotions?