Lately, what I’ve been dealing with is a short temper with my sweetheart of a husband. I get triggered by a certain way he says something or a influx of his voice a certain way or a tone. I just loose it on him and become just incredibly angry and start to loose control over my emotions. The odd thing is my husband noticed that I sound like my parents when I get in this state. Like exactly how they treated and talked to me. I do notice that before this happens, I am experiencing an big increase of intrusive thoughts and flash backs. What’s not helping matters is I’m 16 weeks pregnant and am unable to take my anxiety medication or anything to help. I’m 38 years old and still can’t cope at times. I am extremely blessed to have my wonderfully supportive husband who has been by my side for almost a decade now. This is our first child and we are thrilled. I’ve come a very long way with my CPTSD. I’ll be ok, just need to work out a few kinks before my daughter arrives.
My wife used to say I would seem like a 3 year old when I freaked out. I’ve heard myself repeat phrases I used to as a small child when I get upset. I always thought I was just stunted, but a regression seems so much more accurate! I’ve only been recently diagnosed but finally there’s resources that actually make sense!
I feel fatigued all the time, just in an emotional way.. this is so validating. Thanks Dr Sage, and a very happy Mother's Day to you from the bottom of my heart 💜💜💜
I have complex-ptsd, major depression, anxiety and ocd. I have to take medications every day and every night. I also have a counselor, mental health caseworker. It doesn't cure what I have and never will, but medications and counseling makes it bearable even though it's a daily struggle and fight for me.
I was told 'nobody is interested in you' by my mother. Complex ptsd makes me do compulsions to stop bullying and abuse that occurred as a teenager. When the flashbacks occur, I will place my hands over my eyes and put my hand over my mouth. I also bend over as if I'm touching my toes or tying shoelaces. I know it's futile and completely useless in taking back the past, but it feels involuntary. I can't help it. My body 'just moves' into those defensive positions. I really don't know how to stop it.
You are an Angel in earth! ❤ For all the adults now that still trying to heal our inner child. I never understood why suddenly I had all this out of control overwhelming feeling specially when just as you explain, the house being a mess and feeling like my life is falling apart and I am not good enough. Then I feel like I wanna scream and I get super irritated. I never understood why I felt like reviving again the emotions I felt when I was a little girl when I got hurt emotionally and physically. Going from the fear, and sadness to the anger and not being able to explain exactly. Yes I know my PTSD is bad but is more because is CPTSD and nobody told me about emotional flashbacks. Now everything makes sense why suddenly I don’t feel great anymore or why I am stuck in this past event emotion again, I was like feeling getting crazy and out of control.
I get beyond overwhelmed by anxiety, suicidal ideation, panic attacks, feeling worthless, stupid, incompetent, and unable to learn. To the point I have ended up in the psych ward. Had mental breakdowns. That took months to recover from. On top of everything else, u are talking about. I don't know how to deal with this
oh finally!! an explanation for what I thought were my panic attacks, thank you, truly! I was starting to feel insane with these reoccurring reactions to what would seem like trivial adversities in life... after a good amount of years of dealing with anxiety-ridden/depressive episodes, which I learned how to get through or ignore efficiently (out of practicality), it feels so relieving to find information about what might actually be the reason of said depression/anxiety! I wasn't just "born that way". Thank you for letting my brain glimpse at a possible solution/answer...
Omg! Have you been to my house when I get off work? Lol this situation is sooo triggering for me. And I know it, but I struggle with not owning the shame failure guilt I’m such a bad girl feeling. It feels so true at the time. I’m so exhausted after a 12 hour shift as a nurse, that I usually just break down. I love this video. It is so practical. I am crawling out of bed now to go start the thanksgiving day using this technique you shared. Thank you. I am grateful for wise women like you! Blessings!
Sweet and to the point..... I am wondering if you would be so kind to consider using more high frequency music, like classical (with violins or so) for the intro and ending moments. They can really add a sense of calm for many, maybe not most. I appreciate the support to greater healing still!
Subscribed!! I hope you can get the subscribers you deserve soon~ Love your video. I have so many childhood trauma that I've tried to forget. my families are the people who give me the most traumatic experiences, so whenever I have an issue with them, it triggered me and give flashbacks to all of the things I want to forget. Watching you is like having friends I never had who give me pats on my head. I feel like finally, someone understood me
I recently went no contact with my parents (I am an enmeshed daughter). I do keep feeling like I have these episodes where I actually regress to a very young age. The weirdest one was when I suddenly felt panicked in my body, and an image of my mom appeared in my mind, but she had her hairstyle from the 80s instead of current. It took me off guard and was very unsettling. I'm starting EMDR today, so I hope over time this will help as well.
Thank you. I have been working on issues for a long time. You provide easy and actionable things that will definitely help when the old feelings come up.
Thank you SO much for this! I finally figured out I was experiencing emotional flashbacks and needed some guidance for what to do about them. This is incredibly helpful ❤️
So helpful, thanks a lot! Dealing with CPTSD and healing I know practically all about symptoms, but I'm searching for thins kind of solution of current emotional flasback a long time. I've already learned recognizing the feelings, but its not enough for dealing with a state of abandoned child. So next steps are really crucial for me!
Dr Sage, you are amazing ! I have struggled all my adult life with this inner fight. Thank you for helping make sense and giving me the tools to fight back 💪🏼
Your videos are really helping me shed light on my experiences and self. Thank you so much 💜 It feels great to be able to relate to what you say and understand properly. X
I've had a couple of experiences where an ex would be picking and nagging me to the point that I became so overwhelmed that I started sobbing like a child. It took me right back to my foster mom (my primary abuser). It surprised me to find myself in that state emotionally, but I immediately understood why because I recognized that feeling all too well and who caused it. Thanks for the tip about what an ideal parent would say, doctor. I do practice breathing techniques and getting active when I'm feeling panicked and it helps. Are there tools to handle those feelings when I'm not in the actual moment? What can I work on to reduce or prevent future emotional outbursts or feelings of emotional overload? I'd also be interested to hear your thoughts on empaths and "people pleasers" absorbing negative energy from others around us.
What has helped me to not take on somebody else's energy is to pause a moment and remember to stay in my own power. In your own separate body and stay 'grounded'. It is hard sometimes yes. Another method is to imagine a flame within you, your own beautiful light that radiates outward. You can create your own space of strength within you
I get anxiety when looking at an emotional wheel mostly because I don't really understand personally what they are or how they feel, but I can sure intellectually describe them all day.
This just happened to me at work today. I work in an exploitative work environment- where the onus of responsibility and culpability is unfairly loaded onto the ( replaceable ) worker- this woman’s tone reminded me EXACTLY like my Mom. Who is very sick and I am beyond my breaking point. This woman tone took me right back to my Mother- feeling worthless, nothing is ever good enough, have to be perfect, have to be perfect have to be PERFECT- and if I’m not- it’s my fault. I’m the problem. I’m the bad person. And my job and life is of no consequence. ( can you tell me that I am emotionally flooded right now?🥹😬😔🤦🏽♀️) This was so needed.
Thanks for the video. Is there an alternative to the 'give yourself love and support - like a good parent' aspect of this? I find that really triggering .... I think maybe it is a reminder that I have no idea what a loving parent would say... Even when meditating to calm myself, if I try and visualise a calm relaxing scenario, I will dissociate as it feels threatening.
I feel so much of what your saying but don't know how or I just can't ask for help when I have my partner just attacks and doesn't help I withdraw as you say I know it's not good but
I had an older brother who emotionally physically and verbally abused me every day till I was 16 never thought of it as abuse till my wife told me but I show many ASD signs after listening to your videos I'm confused about where to go for help
So when your cognitive abilities and emotional reasoning has been hi-jacked how are you supposed to remember to walk through these steps? This seems more applicable to mild anxiety.
If you’re able, find a therapist who knows about CPTSD and EMDR. I found the repetitive and consistent reminders each week eventually made the helpful steps to pull me out of or at least recognize when I’m having an emotional flashback. Also, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique - aka Tapping) is useful to help with anxiety and help heal limiting beliefs.
When you said "How talk to you a loving parent" ...me: NO IDEA...but it calms me a lot the word you use, but wasn't enough..so...my suggestion...why not do a video just with this frases to calm our inner child? Is an idea
hi thank u for the video' i have a question : you said that i should tell myself" this is an old emotion that belong to my past" the point is ' that i have never in my childhood felt so terrible feelings and emotions that i'm feeling now when im overwhelmed. when i have this overwhelmed states, i feel i cant be inside my own body , i feel i want to run away from my body, i feel despair extreme stress and shame and more untolerated feelings. and when i was a child i have never felt like that . so why to tell to myself that this emotion and feeling belong to my past? thank u
Please please can you help me? I have had a problem for so much of my life and I don't know what it is. My life is split in 2, my happy years before my dad died and then my sad life after he died. The problem I'm having is sometimes I recall a conversation with someone or an event from the good or bad years very vividly and it leaves me feeling the exact same emotion I was feeling. I remember these events in a very detailed way and I end up feeling sad or like I wish I had justice when these things happened 20 years ago. My brain is stuck in the past I dont know if these are traditional flashbacks because they don't feel like they are happening at that moment and theyre not like a video playing on loop. I don't know if it's an emotional flashback either as I am aware of the event causing the emotion. It's basically an old event, not so much trauma based (although it was from an era of grief and trauma) and the event makes me feel sad and I dwell on it too much. Please do you know what I could read up on for this? Thank you so so so much ❤🙏
Hello! I have a trauma related to violence towards animals. I am afraid to go to a therapist because they might have, for example, leather shoes. I know that would make my mind show scenes of how the animal's throat is cut and the skin from their dead body is torn away. I understand that it is not happening right now but things like that communicate indifference towards violence and I find it very difficult to deal with it. Most of the time when I raise the issue people don't care because such brutality is socially normalized. Any advice?
Before this I really thought I had some super power. How could I detect peoples behavior and danger before knowing anything
Yes, we become so good at reading everything, even when we don't know we are doing it!
OMG... I'm broken, and it's good news, actually.
Gavin DeBeker The Gift Of Fear
Lately, what I’ve been dealing with is a short temper with my sweetheart of a husband. I get triggered by a certain way he says something or a influx of his voice a certain way or a tone. I just loose it on him and become just incredibly angry and start to loose control over my emotions. The odd thing is my husband noticed that I sound like my parents when I get in this state. Like exactly how they treated and talked to me. I do notice that before this happens, I am experiencing an big increase of intrusive thoughts and flash backs.
What’s not helping matters is I’m 16 weeks pregnant and am unable to take my anxiety medication or anything to help. I’m 38 years old and still can’t cope at times. I am extremely blessed to have my wonderfully supportive husband who has been by my side for almost a decade now. This is our first child and we are thrilled. I’ve come a very long way with my CPTSD. I’ll be ok, just need to work out a few kinks before my daughter arrives.
My wife used to say I would seem like a 3 year old when I freaked out. I’ve heard myself repeat phrases I used to as a small child when I get upset. I always thought I was just stunted, but a regression seems so much more accurate! I’ve only been recently diagnosed but finally there’s resources that actually make sense!
I feel fatigued all the time, just in an emotional way.. this is so validating. Thanks Dr Sage, and a very happy Mother's Day to you from the bottom of my heart 💜💜💜
Recovering from C-PTSD now... This video is super helpful.
I have complex-ptsd, major depression, anxiety and ocd. I have to take medications every day and every night. I also have a counselor, mental health caseworker. It doesn't cure what I have and never will, but medications and counseling makes it bearable even though it's a daily struggle and fight for me.
Same same !!!
It worked and I started crying. Thank you sooooo much Dr Sage ❤❤❤
I was told 'nobody is interested in you' by my mother. Complex ptsd makes me do compulsions to stop bullying and abuse that occurred as a teenager. When the flashbacks occur, I will place my hands over my eyes and put my hand over my mouth. I also bend over as if I'm touching my toes or tying shoelaces.
I know it's futile and completely useless in taking back the past, but it feels involuntary. I can't help it. My body 'just moves' into those defensive positions. I really don't know how to stop it.
You are an Angel in earth! ❤
For all the adults now that still trying to heal our inner child. I never understood why suddenly I had all this out of control overwhelming feeling specially when just as you explain, the house being a mess and feeling like my life is falling apart and I am not good enough. Then I feel like I wanna scream and I get super irritated. I never understood why I felt like reviving again the emotions I felt when I was a little girl when I got hurt emotionally and physically. Going from the fear, and sadness to the anger and not being able to explain exactly. Yes I know my PTSD is bad but is more because is CPTSD and nobody told me about emotional flashbacks. Now everything makes sense why suddenly I don’t feel great anymore or why I am stuck in this past event emotion again, I was like feeling getting crazy and out of control.
I get beyond overwhelmed by anxiety, suicidal ideation, panic attacks, feeling worthless, stupid, incompetent, and unable to learn. To the point I have ended up in the psych ward. Had mental breakdowns. That took months to recover from. On top of everything else, u are talking about. I don't know how to deal with this
You are not alone, I am the same way and I am 56.
oh finally!! an explanation for what I thought were my panic attacks, thank you, truly! I was starting to feel insane with these reoccurring reactions to what would seem like trivial adversities in life... after a good amount of years of dealing with anxiety-ridden/depressive episodes, which I learned how to get through or ignore efficiently (out of practicality), it feels so relieving to find information about what might actually be the reason of said depression/anxiety! I wasn't just "born that way". Thank you for letting my brain glimpse at a possible solution/answer...
Omg! Have you been to my house when I get off work? Lol this situation is sooo triggering for me. And I know it, but I struggle with not owning the shame failure guilt I’m such a bad girl feeling. It feels so true at the time. I’m so exhausted after a 12 hour shift as a nurse, that I usually just break down. I love this video. It is so practical. I am crawling out of bed now to go start the thanksgiving day using this technique you shared. Thank you. I am grateful for wise women like you! Blessings!
You are a life saver. Thank you for being so kind and thoughtful
Sweet and to the point.....
I am wondering if you would be so kind to consider using more high frequency music, like classical (with violins or so) for the intro and ending moments. They can really add a sense of calm for many, maybe not most.
I appreciate the support to greater healing still!
I’m interested in characteristics of narcissistic parents, each one; childhood cPTSD and empathy; INFJ and narcissistic abuse.
Subscribed!! I hope you can get the subscribers you deserve soon~ Love your video.
I have so many childhood trauma that I've tried to forget. my families are the people who give me the most traumatic experiences, so whenever I have an issue with them, it triggered me and give flashbacks to all of the things I want to forget.
Watching you is like having friends I never had who give me pats on my head. I feel like finally, someone understood me
I'm reading Pete Walker's book and this explains SO much of my life. Thankyou Kim
I recently went no contact with my parents (I am an enmeshed daughter). I do keep feeling like I have these episodes where I actually regress to a very young age. The weirdest one was when I suddenly felt panicked in my body, and an image of my mom appeared in my mind, but she had her hairstyle from the 80s instead of current. It took me off guard and was very unsettling. I'm starting EMDR today, so I hope over time this will help as well.
Thank you. I have been working on issues for a long time. You provide easy and actionable things that will definitely help when the old feelings come up.
Thank you SO much for this! I finally figured out I was experiencing emotional flashbacks and needed some guidance for what to do about them. This is incredibly helpful ❤️
So helpful, thanks a lot! Dealing with CPTSD and healing I know practically all about symptoms, but I'm searching for thins kind of solution of current emotional flasback a long time. I've already learned recognizing the feelings, but its not enough for dealing with a state of abandoned child. So next steps are really crucial for me!
So - identify the feeling, then distract yourself by doing something else, that will push the initial feeling down?! Got it! 👍
Dr Sage, you are amazing ! I have struggled all my adult life with this inner fight. Thank you for helping make sense and giving me the tools to fight back 💪🏼
Thank you so much for your videos. I love the way you deliver your videos in a calm, peaceful way.
Wow. Thank you! Now I understand why I have these. I feel like I am not myself. This happens a few times a week. Now I know what to work with.
Your info is awesome! I knew something was weird with my up bringing and now I know I was right. Thanks. XOXOXOX
you are a blessing thank you
Very helpful tools. Thank you! 🌸
i have to stay in my hyper paranoid state at all times i have become dependant on it
Thank you
I really needed this. ❤
Thank you for this video
Your videos are really helping me shed light on my experiences and self. Thank you so much 💜 It feels great to be able to relate to what you say and understand properly. X
It's amazing. You're amazing.
Best explanation of this state/s ( of mine/...ours?) I have heard explained.
Thank you so so so much! Your videos are helping a lot, you can’t imagine! 🥺♥️
You are amazing and I have watched a few of your videos and then subscribed.
Thank you for this 💛
Great video!!!
I've had a couple of experiences where an ex would be picking and nagging me to the point that I became so overwhelmed that I started sobbing like a child. It took me right back to my foster mom (my primary abuser). It surprised me to find myself in that state emotionally, but I immediately understood why because I recognized that feeling all too well and who caused it. Thanks for the tip about what an ideal parent would say, doctor. I do practice breathing techniques and getting active when I'm feeling panicked and it helps. Are there tools to handle those feelings when I'm not in the actual moment? What can I work on to reduce or prevent future emotional outbursts or feelings of emotional overload? I'd also be interested to hear your thoughts on empaths and "people pleasers" absorbing negative energy from others around us.
What has helped me to not take on somebody else's energy is to pause a moment and remember to stay in my own power. In your own separate body and stay 'grounded'. It is hard sometimes yes. Another method is to imagine a flame within you, your own beautiful light that radiates outward. You can create your own space of strength within you
Stay grounded, but don’t be a base weight upon which others attach themselves as they float into their fantasies like they’re attached to balloons 🎈
I get anxiety when looking at an emotional wheel mostly because I don't really understand personally what they are or how they feel, but I can sure intellectually describe them all day.
This just happened to me at work today. I work in an exploitative work environment- where the onus of responsibility and culpability is unfairly loaded onto the ( replaceable ) worker- this woman’s tone reminded me EXACTLY like my Mom. Who is very sick and I am beyond my breaking point. This woman tone took me right back to my Mother- feeling worthless, nothing is ever good enough, have to be perfect, have to be perfect have to be PERFECT- and if I’m not- it’s my fault. I’m the problem. I’m the bad person. And my job and life is of no consequence.
( can you tell me that I am emotionally flooded right now?🥹😬😔🤦🏽♀️)
This was so needed.
Thanks for the video. Is there an alternative to the 'give yourself love and support - like a good parent' aspect of this? I find that really triggering ....
I think maybe it is a reminder that I have no idea what a loving parent would say...
Even when meditating to calm myself, if I try and visualise a calm relaxing scenario, I will dissociate as it feels threatening.
Thank You!
I watch this because i know victims don't recover. I can't let my childhood define my adult life
Please, never stop making videos 🥺
I feel so much of what your saying but don't know how or I just can't ask for help when I have my partner just attacks and doesn't help I withdraw as you say I know it's not good but
I had an older brother who emotionally physically and verbally abused me every day till I was 16 never thought of it as abuse till my wife told me but I show many ASD signs after listening to your videos I'm confused about where to go for help
I’ve been dealing with CPSD, since birth, I could not understand why she, so called mother, how could she have hated me so badly??
This channel is so helpful. So useful. Thank you!
So when your cognitive abilities and emotional reasoning has been hi-jacked how are you supposed to remember to walk through these steps? This seems more applicable to mild anxiety.
If you’re able, find a therapist who knows about CPTSD and EMDR. I found the repetitive and consistent reminders each week eventually made the helpful steps to pull me out of or at least recognize when I’m having an emotional flashback.
Also, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique - aka Tapping) is useful to help with anxiety and help heal limiting beliefs.
all the above
Does one signs of complex ptsd include mistrust in your family ?
U save me every time
thank u so much
Can you make more reparenting videos? Thank you
I can't do deep breathing, i can't bear it, swimming is good!🎉
When you said "How talk to you a loving parent" ...me: NO IDEA...but it calms me a lot the word you use, but wasn't enough..so...my suggestion...why not do a video just with this frases to calm our inner child? Is an idea
hi thank u for the video' i have a question : you said that i should tell myself" this is an old emotion that belong to my past" the point is ' that i have never in my childhood felt so terrible feelings and emotions that i'm feeling now when im overwhelmed.
when i have this overwhelmed states, i feel i cant be inside my own body , i feel i want to run away from my body, i feel despair extreme stress and shame and more untolerated feelings. and when i was a child i have never felt like that . so why to tell to myself that this emotion and feeling belong to my past? thank u
Please please can you help me?
I have had a problem for so much of my life and I don't know what it is.
My life is split in 2, my happy years before my dad died and then my sad life after he died.
The problem I'm having is sometimes I recall a conversation with someone or an event from the good or bad years very vividly and it leaves me feeling the exact same emotion I was feeling. I remember these events in a very detailed way and I end up feeling sad or like I wish I had justice when these things happened 20 years ago.
My brain is stuck in the past
I dont know if these are traditional flashbacks because they don't feel like they are happening at that moment and theyre not like a video playing on loop. I don't know if it's an emotional flashback either as I am aware of the event causing the emotion.
It's basically an old event, not so much trauma based (although it was from an era of grief and trauma) and the event makes me feel sad and I dwell on it too much.
Please do you know what I could read up on for this?
Thank you so so so much ❤🙏
doc how and where can i scream
i really need to scream
Naomi Well
Hello! I have a trauma related to violence towards animals. I am afraid to go to a therapist because they might have, for example, leather shoes. I know that would make my mind show scenes of how the animal's throat is cut and the skin from their dead body is torn away. I understand that it is not happening right now but things like that communicate indifference towards violence and I find it very difficult to deal with it. Most of the time when I raise the issue people don't care because such brutality is socially normalized. Any advice?
Find a vegan therapist! And friends!
Hear me out, what if "bpd mood instability" is just emotional flashbacks.
Very well could be some therapists aren't aware often get misdiagnosed BPD before C-PTSD xx
i have one terifying nightmare every night to keep me validated
23569 Mac Mountain
woiw