*Men who are in touch with their feelings and can express themselves calmly have a huge advantage. It’s not about perfection - just showing you’re present and willing to grow. That’s what makes a guy stand out!*
Hi Robert. I'm gratful for your work. I aws raised in such a way that develpoed the coping systems you speak on. Reading your book 4 years ago had a big impact on my life. Now in my mid forties and learning how to develop healthy relationships. Thank you.
She felt cold and emotionless, it’s cringy listening to her talk. Kudos to Dr. Glover for being calm and compassionate enough that kept the podcast grounded and flowing smoothly Edit: for those of you who thinks she made some good point. Well, anyone who learn about nice guy syndrome, childhood trauma, relationship, dating and attachment theory can talk like her. She to me, is just reciting textbooks.
He’s right about the nice guy approaching women they find attractive and hiding their sexual interests. It’s the reason the nice guy ends up getting friendzoned. As an extrovert, I have conversations with unattractive women all the time and it’s much easier because I wouldn’t sleep with them. But when I am sexually attracted I have to mentally overcome the rejection fear by psyching myself into thinking they are just another one of those unattractive women. It’s crazy but just a fact of life that you have to shift your mindset to have the confidence and belief they will be interested. The only problem with chatting with those unattractive women is they sometimes think you are interested in them! I’ve had more than one uncomfortable conversation about why I wasn’t interested in them. Obviously, you can’t just say I don’t find you attractive without the blowback of the sisterhood and to your reputation.
Around the 11:00 mark, she starts talking about trauma alignment, and how unhealthy people seek each other out. She says that their trauma balances out, and that they stay happy and it works. This is NOT typically the case. In his book, “the human magnet syndrome,” Ross Rosenberg, a professional counselor, discusses how toxic interactions can be magnetic and draw people together. The book specifically describes how a narcissist and a codependent come together,get enmeshed , and sort of balance out, but not in a healthy way. And actuality, it seems like the nice guy syndrome can be very similar to codependency. But the resulting relationship is not happy and not successful and not fulfilling. Not at all. It is years and years of misery and sadness. But people usually hide that and try to put on a happy face or appear successful. Each of the people is unable to get their needs met from the other, and doesn’t really care about the other person deep down because of their own wounds. And they aren’t willing to work on themselves. On the contrary, the reason why some of these relationships stay together is because of guilting by society or religion, or even by manipulative or narcissistic personalities, where one of the people will manipulate, control, shame, guilt, the other person into doing what they want and then that person is trapped So I very much disagree that healthy, happy long-term relationships are built on two traumatized people who don’t deal with their issues. At the last men’s group meeting I attended, we also discussed this principle from Dr. Glover’s book, that once you start working on yourself and healing and growing, your relationship will either improve dramatically, or it will fall apart; because the other person is not interested in their health and growth
Nobody never said that trauma bonding led to healthy and happy relationships, just destructively 'comfortable' ones. Both parties needs DO get met, however those needs are self defeating and destructive and the product of traumatic or unwholesome upbringings. The main point is that this toxicity is all each partner knows since childhood, and as they feel comfortable and 'safe' with what they know, they tend to attract this dynamic into their adult relationships. But the important part is that each partner gets their toxic childhood needs met, and this unspoken agreement keeps them together. But it is definitely not good for either of them. To break out of it, one or both of them would need to confront their childhood trauma, at least somewhat. And THAT's the difficult part and the inability to do this is why these couples stay together for so long or even forever. A lifetime of unhappiness from childhood, carried through to their adult relationships.
@@secullenable that is well said. That is what I was trying to describe in part. Maybe at first I misinterpreted what the woman was saying, it sounded to me at first like she was saying these things just work… Thank you for the analysis and insights. I agree. Just staying together even for a long time doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s good. “Destructively comfortable” is a great way to say it. In Ross’s book. He also describes this as a core underlying problem.
@@Mattheus217 By the way, I haven't read Glover's stuff but my favorite men's dating and relationship advice comes from Corey Wayne. Check him out if you haven't already. Probably not a million miles away from Glover but he also does a podcast where he fields reader's questions and that is very good to remind you of the basics which essentially are, 'be a man and treat women as they are, and not how you feel they should be'. Proudly anti red pill with lots of practical advice, eg 'women are like cats...you have to let them come to you at their own pace, and not be thrown off centre by that'. Highly recommended.
These toxic dynamics often lead to years of hidden suffering. True healing only occurs when individuals work on themselves, otherwise the relationship will remain dysfunctional.
the woman in the video is Captainese, seems to be intelligent (not emotionally), and rational and indeed a bit low on empathy, nevertheless I think she speaks her mind and makes many great points
I will listen to this whole episode, but as I hear the woman talk at the beginning, it’s like she is a robot. She has an extremely flat affect and her facial features are cold and stark. It’s like she’s 100% business with zero Humanity. She’s an attractive woman, and I don’t know if part of the issue is that she is concentrating because English is her second language? It seems odd like she is robotic, but I’ll listen more with an open mind and hear what both people have to say
I listen to the whole thing and she did make some good points here and there, but I didn’t agree with everything she said. She did smile a couple times, but it still seemed like she was either apathetic, distant, or just cold. I realize that everyone has their different traits and it was good to hear the discussion.
Get access to more great teaching by Dr. Robert Glover - check out integrationnation.net!
*Men who are in touch with their feelings and can express themselves calmly have a huge advantage. It’s not about perfection - just showing you’re present and willing to grow. That’s what makes a guy stand out!*
I love this blonde chick, she had a brain....she's a smart one ❤
Hi Robert. I'm gratful for your work. I aws raised in such a way that develpoed the coping systems you speak on. Reading your book 4 years ago had a big impact on my life. Now in my mid forties and learning how to develop healthy relationships. Thank you.
She felt cold and emotionless, it’s cringy listening to her talk. Kudos to Dr. Glover for being calm and compassionate enough that kept the podcast grounded and flowing smoothly
Edit: for those of you who thinks she made some good point. Well, anyone who learn about nice guy syndrome, childhood trauma, relationship, dating and attachment theory can talk like her. She to me, is just reciting textbooks.
She's an A.I.
she IS emotionless lol, she comes across like a female version of Ben Shapiro. Pretty smart though, I think this robot's arguments are on point
He’s right about the nice guy approaching women they find attractive and hiding their sexual interests. It’s the reason the nice guy ends up getting friendzoned. As an extrovert, I have conversations with unattractive women all the time and it’s much easier because I wouldn’t sleep with them. But when I am sexually attracted I have to mentally overcome the rejection fear by psyching myself into thinking they are just another one of those unattractive women. It’s crazy but just a fact of life that you have to shift your mindset to have the confidence and belief they will be interested.
The only problem with chatting with those unattractive women is they sometimes think you are interested in them! I’ve had more than one uncomfortable conversation about why I wasn’t interested in them. Obviously, you can’t just say I don’t find you attractive without the blowback of the sisterhood and to your reputation.
Wow, I think I finally matured at 48.
46 here. Still working on it
Great Content Thanks For Sharing
Around the 11:00 mark, she starts talking about trauma alignment, and how unhealthy people seek each other out.
She says that their trauma balances out, and that they stay happy and it works. This is NOT typically the case.
In his book, “the human magnet syndrome,” Ross Rosenberg, a professional counselor, discusses how toxic interactions can be magnetic and draw people together. The book specifically describes how a narcissist and a codependent come together,get enmeshed , and sort of balance out, but not in a healthy way.
And actuality, it seems like the nice guy syndrome can be very similar to codependency.
But the resulting relationship is not happy and not successful and not fulfilling. Not at all. It is years and years of misery and sadness. But people usually hide that and try to put on a happy face or appear successful.
Each of the people is unable to get their needs met from the other, and doesn’t really care about the other person deep down because of their own wounds. And they aren’t willing to work on themselves.
On the contrary, the reason why some of these relationships stay together is because of guilting by society or religion, or even by manipulative or narcissistic personalities, where one of the people will manipulate, control, shame, guilt, the other person into doing what they want and then that person is trapped
So I very much disagree that healthy, happy long-term relationships are built on two traumatized people who don’t deal with their issues.
At the last men’s group meeting I attended, we also discussed this principle from Dr. Glover’s book, that once you start working on yourself and healing and growing, your relationship will either improve dramatically, or it will fall apart; because the other person is not interested in their health and growth
Nobody never said that trauma bonding led to healthy and happy relationships, just destructively 'comfortable' ones. Both parties needs DO get met, however those needs are self defeating and destructive and the product of traumatic or unwholesome upbringings. The main point is that this toxicity is all each partner knows since childhood, and as they feel comfortable and 'safe' with what they know, they tend to attract this dynamic into their adult relationships. But the important part is that each partner gets their toxic childhood needs met, and this unspoken agreement keeps them together. But it is definitely not good for either of them. To break out of it, one or both of them would need to confront their childhood trauma, at least somewhat. And THAT's the difficult part and the inability to do this is why these couples stay together for so long or even forever. A lifetime of unhappiness from childhood, carried through to their adult relationships.
@@secullenable that is well said. That is what I was trying to describe in part. Maybe at first I misinterpreted what the woman was saying, it sounded to me at first like she was saying these things just work…
Thank you for the analysis and insights. I agree. Just staying together even for a long time doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s good.
“Destructively comfortable” is a great way to say it. In Ross’s book. He also describes this as a core underlying problem.
@@Mattheus217 Thanks for the convo man. Hope you are well.
@@Mattheus217 By the way, I haven't read Glover's stuff but my favorite men's dating and relationship advice comes from Corey Wayne. Check him out if you haven't already. Probably not a million miles away from Glover but he also does a podcast where he fields reader's questions and that is very good to remind you of the basics which essentially are, 'be a man and treat women as they are, and not how you feel they should be'. Proudly anti red pill with lots of practical advice, eg 'women are like cats...you have to let them come to you at their own pace, and not be thrown off centre by that'. Highly recommended.
These toxic dynamics often lead to years of hidden suffering. True healing only occurs when individuals work on themselves, otherwise the relationship will remain dysfunctional.
subscribed, this was great
the woman in the video is Captainese, seems to be intelligent (not emotionally), and rational and indeed a bit low on empathy, nevertheless I think she speaks her mind and makes many great points
30:59 "A man doesn't mature until he quits seeking the approval of.." Interesting definition..
1 comment per 1k views... my guess... no one can relate to this echo chamber speak... this vid plays out like an infomercial.
Dont get how you do all this I don’t even know how to talk to women or anything like that
100%
Captainese is funny asf 😆 yes smart but so obviously socialy awkward
I will listen to this whole episode, but as I hear the woman talk at the beginning, it’s like she is a robot. She has an extremely flat affect and her facial features are cold and stark. It’s like she’s 100% business with zero Humanity.
She’s an attractive woman, and I don’t know if part of the issue is that she is concentrating because English is her second language?
It seems odd like she is robotic, but I’ll listen more with an open mind and hear what both people have to say
I listen to the whole thing and she did make some good points here and there, but I didn’t agree with everything she said. She did smile a couple times, but it still seemed like she was either apathetic, distant, or just cold. I realize that everyone has their different traits and it was good to hear the discussion.
who's the hot cold blonde?
"Captainese" - just look her up.