My ex husband denied everything I had discovered against him. He continued to lie throughout my marriage. Being married to a sociopath or narc is very toxic to self. Once I discovered the truth, I could finally let my marriage go.
This personality type lies incessantly. Their grandiosity and arrogance are then used as justification. "I didn't want to tell you the truth because I didn't want to hurt you." ~or~ "How dare you, if I say it's true....it's true." The lying is so much a part of the individual's personality that it can be hard to believe how much of what you've been told was nothing more than a lie. Hey folks...there's no such thing as alternative fact in the real world. :-)
Dr. Denise Glassmoyer Your amazing! Every video has our problems. He blames me for all of the disappoints in the marriage, if it didn't go the way he thought it was suppose to go, guess who "caught" hell, yeap it was always me I had to "watch" myself around him, one wrong move, or word spoke wrong, he would be right in my face, or throwing things, but nobody else had this fear, I was the one he took his anger and disappoints out on, and we didn't talk about his lies, God for bid. He needs help, before I WOULD even consider giving the mess a 4 try. it just isn't worth it SORRY! Moving on
I will always find the indigence that accompanies the pathological lies interesting. I remember being told that the secret to success was to never ever ever admit to a lie. Healthy people just don't think this way.
I am so damn embarrassed I ever married a narcissist and that I was 'duped'. These videos are so spot on and extraordinarily helpful! Thank you, Dr. Dart.
You are welcome! The one thing I know is that those of us who were once duped are in very good company. I’ve been blessed to meet so many amazing, courageous survivors through my video projects. I know I am wiser and stronger after my experience. Hold your head high, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. 💜
Dr. Denise! I just started to educate myself about Narcissism about 5 months ago. But have been divorced for over 3yrs now. We have 3 grown children and 3 grandsons! 33yrs married to this ( Little Bitty Boy Man)!! I have been threw sooooo much pain until l trust NO ONE!! I have a great support system in place that has helped me to move on in life. I did not know this disorder even existed but l knew something was wrong. I am a people person l love family and the more the merrier l am. This man would lie and believe them himself 😳! What l have to forgive myself for is feeling that keeping my children in that disfunction was best back then. It still effects them to this very day!!! They begged me to leave this lying cheating human being but still l stayed. I am getting better each day and only see him when the children have an event. As far as new supply l have not seen or heard of one. I really feel sorry for him now because he's burned so many bridges and has no friends at 63yrs old. Here l am at 60 and single it's certainly not what l asked god for. I love your videos and they have been a godsend for me!! Keep up the great work and god bless💕. 😇
Shirley have you heard of Sam Vaknim , Richard Grannon, Ross Rossenberg, all three have good explanations of narcissistic behaviour , also good explanations of how the co dependent acts to' the narcissist, how you were drawn into the relationship, hope this helps
Shirley towards the end of my 20 yr marriage to a N my children were also begging me to leave him. It's just so sad that our children are driven to such a point.
Shirley I know where you are coming from, its been 30 years of living hell. Separated now for the 3rd time. I just can't believe he got to our daughters and they think I'm the bad one. pity, one day they will learn, I just hope they don't get in too deep. What can a person do?
I have learned so much in the past two months about narcissistic personalities, and I have to say because I never experienced this level of manipulation before, I was such an easy target. I had no idea I had attracted a narcissist, I was supportive, loving and raised him up, boosting his ego. I did not trust my intuition at first, I felt it was my own insecurity and my fears but something did not click. I kept feeling anxiety around him and spotted a few lies. I wish I had known this before but I am glad I got out of that bad relationship in just four months. Thanks to these videos I have peace of mind and reassurance that I am not crazy because they sure can make you feel like you are the crazy and insecure one.
I just found you, Everything you've said is so so true.My ex narcopath used to say all the time when i caught him in lies ( I ment it at the time) Realy they're so fake and pathetic once you learn who and what they are. Evil soulless people. luv your vids. thanks for posting.
When I caught him red handed and confronted him he didn't admit or deny but flipped the script, "well if I do lie it's only because I have to. You will do what your doing right now, you'll freak out and go CRAZY ON ME". 😲
Standing there and and admitting fault as well as being caught would shatter their fragile ego, they are not interested in the sense of peace that comes from truth, simple as.
It's so hard to deal with a habitual liar that does not see the issue. Truth will always be the decent, yet vulnerable, choice. Thank You for speaking about this. *I am co-dependent
Wendy, often a person who is loving, kind, and decent projects their own traits onto the abuser who is definitely not those things. It can be hard to understand a habitual liar when you wouldn't think of conducting yourself in this way. Step back and know that the narcissistic abuser is best understood from afar.
I really thought about what you said about no contact. I cancelled the visit on Saturday even though I felt it would have been nice for the kids. I really agreed that no contact was better for us then the visit in the long run. Since that he has exploded and told me he wants me to pay spousal support to him, along with paying all the house bills and mortgage and he will only pay child support. I am so glad we didn’t do this in person. Thank you for the video. I am going to wait for a few days and inform him that he better get s lawyer. I’m not dealing with his issues or dream land anymore.
Story tellers have a huge problem with feeling insecure. They can't accept that they have an ordinary life, so they have to be shockingly full of shit. It is what it is. Distance yourself. They usually get pissed off when you call them out.
Lying can take the form of "secrecy", not saying ANYTHING, or omissions. The ex told me: "I lie to you." Then followed that with "I never had sexual affairs." Head spin!!! HUH?! So did he lie about lying, or lie about never having sexual affairs?!!! DUH! Although I was already in process to sell the house and leave the relationship, this event helped to "seal the deal" for me!
They truly do not want to work things out. All they want is for you to forget about it and for them to get to that stage without taking any blame. It's so frustrating. I would be doing all the work trying to mend things that they caused through their selfishness and they would constantly be throwing roadblocks and trying to derail the conversation.
Important with these kind of people to let what they do in their actions speak and do not listen to what they say or do not rely on what they say Do not plan your day or your your whatever around what they say especially future future things so yes watch the actions and respond accordingly the best thing to do is to get the f*** out and move on with your own healing and that's the best thing
I almost totally lost my mind: I’d say to him: I know you’re lying; you know that I know that you’re lying so why are you still lying? Why won’t you admit it? I’d get to the point of screaming at him! He just had this blank look on his face with such empty eyes. And he was a man well into his 60’s.
Mine said I I broke it off with the woman I cheated on you with and I haven’t talked to her. Sends a picture of new haircut immediately after getting it cut...he is driving said woman’s car! Um like I don’t know that’s not the inside of your car. So happy to be 10000% done.
Mother turned the entire family against us through lies and manipulation. She told them she asked (us) for forgiveness and we refuse to forgive her and so they condemn us(of course any apology was superficial and there was really no willingness to change or sincerely admit wrongdoing). The truth of the matter is we finally confronted her abusive ways and placed boundaries. Lovingly yet firmly. Her injured ego could not handle this so she cut me, my wife and four children from out of her life. She did this thinking she is hurting is but it's actually a blessing not having this abuse in our lives anymore.
My mom is a narc. And plays at being senile,shes 83 years old but has an endless number of "acts" she can pull out of her hat. I know an 83 year old could easily be senile,but shes only like that if it suits. Her memory is 100% selective. She does something horrible its forgotten,by her right away. When I pinned her down on her lies and denials and attack schemes she was trying to pull off.................she snapped straight and sharp and was banging out made up stories faster then she could spit them out..................sharp as a tack. Horrible stories aimed straight at me,attack,attack,how stupid I had always been,etc,etc.........All I could think was..This is my mom? Id never seen her let her guard down and go full blown wacked............My question is,do narcissists get worse and worse as they age?
Such good advice to just get out. What an ordeal it is - I sometimes wonder if this lifestyle literally killed my husband in the end; he could never be real, everything was hidden or pushed down, and I mean feelings and thoughts in this case. In my heart, I feel he made himself sick, his final act of opting out, but in a socially sanctioned way. This may sound a little odd to some but I feel it is what happened, despite any medical analysis.
I always thought he was such a moron for lying when the truth would have served better! He. Just Couldn't. Help himself! At the end, I knew all the "tells". He stuttered, for one. His lips were moving, for the rest. Looking back, I'm surprised that my marriage to him didn't come with a laugh track. It was that ridiculous. XX♡♡
I showed him that he wasn't at the gym... I showed him, his Google map... with exacted time ... where he was... Not a first time... He accused the Google GPS tracking... which he forgot turn off... that it was a lie.. ... If I will not found you Dr Denise... I will still think that, probably I'm paranoid....
+Bella Dotka GASLIGHTING! Intentionally acting to make the victim question their perceptions and grasp on reality. Despite evidence to the contrary, the abuser lies to distort reality and insists there is something wrong with the victim's grasp on reality. Gaslighting is crazymaking.
John, I assure you that anyone who has experienced this knows how awful it is. Although my channel is designed primarily for a female audience this problem is most certainly not limited to one gender. Sounds like you’ve been the victim of this.
Dr Denise This is a good time for us to stand together on this problem in our society as humans and not gender based, I can only feel for my female counter parts as they must go through much more being the more frail partner. My love to all going through this trauma.
My ex husband denied everything I had discovered against him. He continued to lie throughout my marriage. Being married to a sociopath or narc is very toxic to self. Once I discovered the truth, I could finally let my marriage go.
This personality type lies incessantly. Their grandiosity and arrogance are then used as justification. "I didn't want to tell you the truth because I didn't want to hurt you." ~or~ "How dare you, if I say it's true....it's true." The lying is so much a part of the individual's personality that it can be hard to believe how much of what you've been told was nothing more than a lie. Hey folks...there's no such thing as alternative fact in the real world. :-)
Dr. Denise Glassmoyer Your amazing! Every video has our problems. He blames me for all of the disappoints in the marriage, if it didn't go the way he thought it was suppose to go, guess who "caught" hell, yeap it was always me
I had to "watch" myself around him, one wrong move, or word spoke wrong, he would be right in my face, or throwing things, but nobody else had this fear, I was the one he took his anger and disappoints out on, and we didn't talk about his lies, God for bid. He needs help, before I WOULD even consider giving the mess a 4 try. it just isn't worth it
SORRY! Moving on
They lie when they don't have to. They are predictable and boring. Cut them off.
... and after all that will likely accuse you of making them out to be a liar.
Dr. Denise Dart does this also apply to parents?
I will always find the indigence that accompanies the pathological lies interesting. I remember being told that the secret to success was to never ever ever admit to a lie. Healthy people just don't think this way.
The more we know the better we can protect ourselves and never be taken in by that personality type again 💜
I am so damn embarrassed I ever married a narcissist and that I was 'duped'. These videos are so spot on and extraordinarily helpful! Thank you, Dr. Dart.
You are welcome! The one thing I know is that those of us who were once duped are in very good company. I’ve been blessed to meet so many amazing, courageous survivors through my video projects. I know I am wiser and stronger after my experience. Hold your head high, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. 💜
Dr. Denise! I just started to educate myself about Narcissism about 5 months ago. But have been divorced for over 3yrs now. We have 3 grown children and 3 grandsons! 33yrs married to this ( Little Bitty Boy Man)!!
I have been threw sooooo much pain until l trust NO ONE!! I have a great support system in place that has helped me to move on in life. I did not know this disorder even existed but l knew something was wrong. I am a people person l love family and the more the merrier l am. This man would lie and believe them himself 😳! What l have to forgive myself for is feeling that keeping my children in that disfunction was best back then. It still effects them to this very day!!! They begged me to leave this lying cheating human being but still l stayed. I am getting better each day and only see him when the children have an event. As far as new supply l have not seen or heard of one. I really feel sorry for him now because he's burned so many bridges and has no friends at 63yrs old.
Here l am at 60 and single it's certainly not what l asked god for. I love your videos and they have been a godsend for me!! Keep up the great work and god bless💕. 😇
Shirley have you heard of Sam Vaknim , Richard Grannon, Ross Rossenberg, all three have good explanations of narcissistic behaviour , also good explanations of how the co dependent acts to' the narcissist, how you were drawn into the relationship, hope this helps
Thank you!! Information very helpful😊
Shirley towards the end of my 20 yr marriage to a N my children were also begging me to leave him. It's just so sad that our children are driven to such a point.
Shirley I know where you are coming from, its been 30 years of living hell. Separated now for the 3rd time. I just can't believe he got to our daughters and they think I'm the bad one. pity, one day they will learn, I just hope they don't get in too deep. What can a person do?
I have learned so much in the past two months about narcissistic personalities, and I have to say because I never experienced this level of manipulation before, I was such an easy target. I had no idea I had attracted a narcissist, I was supportive, loving and raised him up, boosting his ego.
I did not trust my intuition at first, I felt it was my own insecurity and my fears but something did not click. I kept feeling anxiety around him and spotted a few lies. I wish I had known this before but I am glad I got out of that bad relationship in just four months. Thanks to these videos I have peace of mind and reassurance that I am not crazy because they sure can make you feel like you are the crazy and insecure one.
The more I learn about these abusers, the more clear I see everything and the more disgusted i feel for them .
Don't let your lying eyes deceive you! Even when caught with damning evidence he would continue to deny & defy. Truth is abstract in his fake world.
I just found you, Everything you've said is so so true.My ex narcopath used to say all the time when i caught him in lies ( I ment it at the time) Realy they're so fake and pathetic once you learn who and what they are. Evil soulless people. luv your vids. thanks for posting.
When I caught him red handed and confronted him he didn't admit or deny but flipped the script, "well if I do lie it's only because I have to. You will do what your doing right now, you'll freak out and go CRAZY ON ME". 😲
Standing there and and admitting fault as well as being caught would shatter their fragile ego, they are not interested in the sense of peace that comes from truth, simple as.
Well said Janet 💜
They tell on themselves
Yes, they do!
It's so hard to deal with a habitual liar that does not see the issue. Truth will always be the decent, yet vulnerable, choice.
Thank You for speaking about this.
*I am co-dependent
Wendy, often a person who is loving, kind, and decent projects their own traits onto the abuser who is definitely not those things. It can be hard to understand a habitual liar when you wouldn't think of conducting yourself in this way. Step back and know that the narcissistic abuser is best understood from afar.
I really thought about what you said about no contact. I cancelled the visit on Saturday even though I felt it would have been nice for the kids. I really agreed that no contact was better for us then the visit in the long run. Since that he has exploded and told me he wants me to pay spousal support to him, along with paying all the house bills and mortgage and he will only pay child support. I am so glad we didn’t do this in person. Thank you for the video. I am going to wait for a few days and inform him that he better get s lawyer. I’m not dealing with his issues or dream land anymore.
Im glad im divorced. Im glad im a single soul entity.
When their lips are moving they are lying.
I like the way there are no example fillers, straight to the point.
It is all for attention that they are "more", "better" than they truly are. They are un-believable. They need to be lauded. Odious!
So true 💜
Story tellers have a huge problem with feeling insecure. They can't accept that they have an ordinary life, so they have to be shockingly full of shit. It is what it is. Distance yourself. They usually get pissed off when you call them out.
Why do they tell people their partner is mentally ill? Mine even lied about me in marriage counseling in front of my face.
Lying can take the form of "secrecy", not saying ANYTHING, or omissions.
The ex told me: "I lie to you." Then followed that with "I never had sexual affairs."
Head spin!!! HUH?!
So did he lie about lying, or lie about never having sexual affairs?!!! DUH!
Although I was already in process to sell the house and leave the relationship, this event helped to "seal the deal" for me!
They truly do not want to work things out. All they want is for you to forget about it and for them to get to that stage without taking any blame.
It's so frustrating. I would be doing all the work trying to mend things that they caused through their selfishness and they would constantly be throwing roadblocks and trying to derail the conversation.
You are spot on. Toxic partners don’t want to work things out. They manipulate! 💜
To my ex-narcissist lying was only "stretching the truth".
You explained this on point 💯
my ex lied horribly about his brothers cremation. it is craziness!
Oh yeah. I cant deal with someone who lies let alone won't admit it. No way.
Important with these kind of people to let what they do in their actions speak and do not listen to what they say or do not rely on what they say Do not plan your day or your your whatever around what they say especially future future things so yes watch the actions and respond accordingly the best thing to do is to get the f*** out and move on with your own healing and that's the best thing
Oh yes it is 💜
I almost totally lost my mind: I’d say to him: I know you’re lying; you know that I know that you’re lying so why are you still lying? Why won’t you admit it? I’d get to the point of screaming at him! He just had this blank look on his face with such empty eyes. And he was a man well into his 60’s.
Mine said I I broke it off with the woman I cheated on you with and I haven’t talked to her. Sends a picture of new haircut immediately after getting it cut...he is driving said woman’s car! Um like I don’t know that’s not the inside of your car. So happy to be 10000% done.
Mother turned the entire family against us through lies and manipulation. She told them she asked (us) for forgiveness and we refuse to forgive her and so they condemn us(of course any apology was superficial and there was really no willingness to change or sincerely admit wrongdoing). The truth of the matter is we finally confronted her abusive ways and placed boundaries. Lovingly yet firmly. Her injured ego could not handle this so she cut me, my wife and four children from out of her life. She did this thinking she is hurting is but it's actually a blessing not having this abuse in our lives anymore.
My mom is a narc. And plays at being senile,shes 83 years old but has an endless number of "acts" she can pull out of her hat. I know an 83 year old could easily be senile,but shes only like that if it suits. Her memory is 100% selective. She does something horrible its forgotten,by her right away. When I pinned her down on her lies and denials and attack schemes she was trying to pull off.................she snapped straight and sharp and was banging out made up stories faster then she could spit them out..................sharp as a tack. Horrible stories aimed straight at me,attack,attack,how stupid I had always been,etc,etc.........All I could think was..This is my mom? Id never seen her let her guard down and go full blown wacked............My question is,do narcissists get worse and worse as they age?
And he kept telling me; he hates a liar?
Susan Corley funny that! Projection is all they know
Such good advice to just get out. What an ordeal it is - I sometimes wonder if this lifestyle literally killed my husband in the end; he could never be real, everything was hidden or pushed down, and I mean feelings and thoughts in this case. In my heart, I feel he made himself sick, his final act of opting out, but in a socially sanctioned way. This may sound a little odd to some but I feel it is what happened, despite any medical analysis.
Why do they stalk their victim ?
I always thought he was such a moron for lying when the truth would have served better! He. Just Couldn't. Help himself! At the end, I knew all the "tells". He stuttered, for one. His lips were moving, for the rest. Looking back, I'm surprised that my marriage to him didn't come with a laugh track. It was that ridiculous.
XX♡♡
I showed him that he wasn't at the gym... I showed him, his Google map... with exacted time ... where he was... Not a first time... He accused the Google GPS tracking... which he forgot turn off... that it was a lie.. ... If I will not found you Dr Denise... I will still think that, probably I'm paranoid....
+Bella Dotka GASLIGHTING! Intentionally acting to make the victim question their perceptions and grasp on reality. Despite evidence to the contrary, the abuser lies to distort reality and insists there is something wrong with the victim's grasp on reality. Gaslighting is crazymaking.
Chris, you are absolutely right. You might want to check out my video "Narcissistic Emotionally Abusive Behavior in Both Males & Females"
Does this apply to Jussie Smollett? He maintains innocence even with insurmountable innocence.
Oh yea, he told me he met with Bear Bryant!!!!!
Love it
Thanks Heather!
I can relate 😊
Ladies you should feel this from a mans side he feels the same pains maybe even more depending on the person.
John, I assure you that anyone who has experienced this knows how awful it is. Although my channel is designed primarily for a female audience this problem is most certainly not limited to one gender. Sounds like you’ve been the victim of this.
Dr Denise This is a good time for us to stand together on this problem in our society as humans and not gender based, I can only feel for my female counter parts as they must go through much more being the more frail partner. My love to all going through this trauma.
Donald Trump....!!!!!!!