In this video I'll share the process of working on a mixed media painting in watercolour and pencil in my sketchbook while I chat to you about why I don't have many friends. This is just me being very honest about myself, my circumstances and my life, in the hope that it resonates with some of you, and that you'll perhaps feel less alone. Are you an introvert too? Do you have a large friendship group, just a couple of close friends, or no friends at all? Do you ever feel lonely and how do you cope? Sending so much love to you all.
I'd love to be your friend if you'd have me. 😊 It's uncanny how much I feel we have in common, from childhood on up. It was like you were describing my life. (I know that probably sounds corny and I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable in any way.) I just want you to know there are people who have similar backgrounds and stories. I too am an introvert and have only a few really good friends because of trust issues. My best friend of 30 years moved to Florida from New Jersey and we only communicate occasionally. But I'd rather have a couple of true, good friends than a lot of questionable people that I have to figure out. I don't have the energy for that. For me there are friends and there are acquaintances. One of my closest friends and I met through group therapy. As well as my fiance! He and I have so much in common with our life experiences. Well, I think I've taken up enough of your time. Just know there are those of us that are here for you if you need us. ❤️
Natasha, listening to your nightclub experience reminded me of the time 15 years ago when I swore to myself I would never go to another wedding. I would go to the church ceremony, but that's that. Having made that decision actually helped me to say No. There is nothing wrong in not enjoying nightclubs, have been there, done that, don't want to do it again. I also have a very small friendship group in real life, plus a couple of online only close friendships, my husband has even fewer friends and he's more than happy. I've come to appreciate my outsider position, as we all have our role to play in this world.
I'm an introvert. I miss my friends from school so so much I've just not been able to be a good friend, I can't stay in contact. I dream of them often. I can't connect with people like I used to. I don't know why.
I am like you I am and artist, and an introvert. I had the same "night club" experience, I thought I was just weird. I then had no other introverts around me. I now have 3 really good friends, they are introverts as well. We mostly text each other to chat. I can text off and on for hrs. but a real conversation would drain me. Thanks for posting this makes me feel a little bit like my tribe is bigger than I thought.
I am an introvert as well. At 57 years old I know who I am and what I need to survive in this world: a big part of the day alone, my pets, calming music, lots of sleep, walks outside, drawing, painting and photography, and most importantly people who understand me and support me. I wasted years of my life trying to “fit in” and even drank too much to relax at parties and events. Now, at this time in my life, I’ve created my world to fit me, not the other way around. I’m happy for you for accepting yourself and being honest with others. We need more people like you to “come out” as introverts because we are pretty amazing people! Also you have the most calming and beautiful voice!
I have a few special friends and a lot of family friends angles and spiritual relationship with the lord we all are Capeàble of art painting and communication
I’m definitely an introvert! Going on 70, I’ve realized that we introverts have handled the pandemic much better than extroverts. I love watching you create your art❣️
I'm 67 and also an introvert. The friends I had (not many) have either died or drifted away. I'm alone but not lonely, I love my own company. I agree about the pandemic, it hardly effected me.
I too loved lockdown in the uk. I would happily go back to the beginning tomorrow. Nothing to do with the pandemic as that was awful for everyone and so scary. Just the being safe and cocooned and not having to worry about socialising.
I totally agree with you about the pandemic. I live on the west coast of Canada and we were never forced to stay at home but we weren’t allowed to have visitors in the house which suited me absolutely.
I’m 74 and I have no use for large groups of superficial friends who talk about meaningless things that don’t interest me in the least. I have spent my life with one to now a handful of people I wish to spend time with. Mostly I, like you, enjoy my alone time most of all. Good for you for being forthcoming about it.
I’m 28, have a few but not really close friends & wish to change that. I feel like now the people my age are in to being friends for superficial reasons, and I find it bland & meaningless. It’s hard finding depth friendships in this generation unfortunately
Despite being an introvert with hardly any friends, this brings enormous comfort to me and seeing the comments from everyone makes me feel warmth that I had been convinced I wasn’t capable of feeling.
Reading a lot of the comments here, all that I could say has already been said. I have been accused of being selfish and self centred for not wanting to socialise, made to feel that I'm odd but I'm obviously not. So a big thumbs up Natasha, and may your online, social network continue to flourish. Thank you.
@@jilllindfield2187 YES! I have been told "If only I got to know you better" by people who blew me off and then maybe came around after others were truly trying to get to know me.
I LOVE this video.. I’m exactly the same way and I can totally relate. I’m an expat from the US living in Quebec and I have acquaintances but no more super close friends. The only people I spend time with outside my husband and daughter (who is 6) are other family and the parents of my daughters friends. I’m an artist by hobby so I prefer spending the time I have off not with other people but that is my time for myself where I can paint. It’s nice to know I’m not alone and I was feeling guilty about this for a while. Your perspective soothed my soul (and I can’t wait to see more details about your new palette.. beautiful!)
Thank you, Erika! I'm so glad that this video resonated with you. I'll share more of all of the watercolour palettes in my watercolour series over the coming months!
I’m an introvert! Im 61. Have very few close friends. In fact I had two “best” friends, now only one. I’m empathic, too, which means being in large groups for a long period of time is many times very difficult. I can go to a fair or a shopping mall, and I, too, am social and like being with people for short periods. I’ve been betrayed as well. I do enjoy being alone and quiet (well, quiet except for having RUclips videos on!).
Such a lovely video. I had to drink to get through a social event. I don’t put myself through that anymore. I am a loner and I completely enjoy myself without all the complications of friends and family.
I was forced to be an extrovert my whole life. 5 years ago, I started become the real me. I am just an introvert, it's that simple. I am very creative, and it takes a lot of energy. I spend time reading, exploring, visiting places and recording my travels. Most of the things I do, like any art, sewing, photography, are very singular hobbies. When I was in school, I preferred to stay in at recess and help the teacher or go to the library but I was forced to go and socialize. I am now in my late 40's and I can be social when needed but I have a lot of down time, to recharge. I'm also a weirdo, as I don't know anything that is pop culture or current. I prefer old movies, museums, libraries, animals, being outside and moving around a lot. I can't do surface level friendships. I do not collect social media friends. I only have FB because I need it for 1 group for college, otherwise I would be done with it. I moved from Corporate healthcare to working in my passion field. It changed the pressure to be attached to the phone all the time. I'm not a drinker, party, going out with friends kind of person, never have been. I don't do drama, I am not looking to be the center of the party, I don't like fake friends or people. You are not lacking. You are you. Social media is not a true picture but people pretend it is. I refuse to live to work, I refuse to post everything about my life, every picture and selfie, that if it's not posted, I'm not worthy or doing anything. I move in silence and it's wonderful. Last night, I went to bed at 8:45, sometimes it's midnight. As you get older, you know what you like and not really bother with impressing others or worry about their opinions.
Un gran beneficio de la adultez , temprana o avanzada , es cierta "impunidad" que nos permite elegir sin culpas , comportarnos sin remordimientos , seguir sin miedo . Y disfrutar de todas las horas (que a veces faltan) para nuestros propios intereses . Un amable entendimiento conmigo misma es reconfortante y abrazo mi pacífica y reconfortante soledad . Gracias por éste video y todos sus comentarios : )
I definitely need lots of time alone. When I was a young woman, I had lots of people in my life and was very active socially. Looking back, I can see that I was doing what I thought was expected. As I've gotten older, I realized that being around people for prolonged periods of time exhausted me and I'd experience burn out. I love the people in my inner circle. My husband and my children are also pretty introverted and we've taken the time to explain to our extended family what that means for us and how we are able to interact for small amounts of time with a small group of people. I too only enjoy meaningful one on one conversation. I can't stand small talk or gossip. It can get a little boring being alone and sometimes i do feel like company but the cost of being around others is too much for me. I don't hate people but I'm aware that the way I am makes me look very antisocial. I'm awkward in social situations too so feel self conscious. I have one good friend and a few good family members that I enjoy spending time with but it adds up to only a handful of brief occasions a year. I do love being alone but I'm rarely lonely tbh. I married my best friend and my now grown sons and grandchildren provide us plenty of stimulation and company. The one thing I wish I had was a creative friend or two. People who love art as much as I do. Thanks for starting this conversation. I enjoy your quiet channel. Rachelle, Australia xo
Thank you for sharing... sounds so very much like mine... your thoughts were comforting. I've had health issues but that isn't what changed me. God bless you, from a California Gramma ❤️
Thank you, Rachelle. I'm so tired of people who thrive off of gossiping about other people - I have a couple of people like that in my life currently and I'm just so over it. I can relate to so much of what you've written here.
Same here. I felt that being social was required of being an adult to be labeled "normal". Now that I'm close to my 30s I realize it's my life and my happiness. I don't need to fit in. I just like to be alone with myself.
I feel so similar! I’m a teenager but this really affected me more when I got into high school. I didn’t realise how nice my friendship group in primary was until year 8 when things started going downhill. I tried to make friends with someone who was nice but very different to me because I had a stubborn ideology that it was possible to be friends with everyone. I ended up with really bad depression that made paranoid of all the friends around me because I just couldn’t find anyone I connected with. A few years later I’ve made some friends and reconnected with a few old friends, but I’d rather have good friends then loads of them. If I’m being honest I really like spending time alone doing things I like, but my family keep forcing me into situations where I’m really uncomfortable and can’t even defend myself because nobody understands. I guess it’s life so I have to deal with it, but after seeing how I end up after feeling completely miserable, I’m genuinely scared of losing my friends because of how paranoid I am. Hopefully I’ll get better but for now I’m trying to take it day by day
Man, I feel the same way. I have three good friends one that I’ve known since we were in the 3rd grade, one I became friends with my 12th grade year, and one other friend. My one friend that I’ve known the longest is the best but sadly we don’t get to really see each other much because we don’t live as close by as we used to. I’m so quiet and shy, and sometimes I feel like I don’t really have any friends and feel like my two younger sisters seem to have so many. Also, for me I could stay home all day and just paint or do something fun and crafty and I would be so happy. Now the three friends I do have I will say really are good friends of mine, especially the one I’ve known the longest. I will also say one thing I remember my mom telling me once when I was younger, which is actually something really good to remember is. She said when growing up you will always know who your true friends are, I also remember being told by someone else once that, it’s not about the quantity of friends you have but the quality of them. And I never really had thought of that before. So I guess that’s something good to always think about and remember especially when feeling down. But wow I feel/am the same way.
I am the same. I remember one day when I was out shopping up town, I came across a work mate and she said are you by yourself, I said yes she looked shocked. But I like shopping by myself, nobody holds you back and you can do what you want. You don't have to be with others to enjoy yourself🌼🌷🌼
I'm an introvert that is challenged everyday by this busy and dynamic world we live in. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Everything you said resonated with me. I also spend a lot of time alone in my studio, and enjoy only deep conversations and meaningful friends. One of the good things of ageing really is the freedom to choose only things or people you like, and to be able to say no to everything that is exhausting and meaningless to you.
Definitely resonate with your thoughts 💕. Total introvert… though oddly enough, my mom tells me that I used to be extroverted as a little kid before the age of 7, when some trauma happened, but I can’t remember that time at all. I just remember feeling strange and alone. As a kid and teen, I was totally unable to relate to anyone my own age, often finding myself getting along better with my grandma’s friends than anyone else lol. I would have been totally lost without her… she was my person 🥰. She understood me, always. Going to body-mind-spirit expos and reading spiritual books together with her was when I felt most authentic, aside from when I was singing or drawing. I think a lot of creatives are a lane unto themselves - which I love! There’s so much beauty in unique perspectives 🌟 Like you, it took me many years to learn to speak up for myself, stop trying to be someone I’m not for the sake of feeling “normal” and just be honest about what I like. My idea of being social is going to have tea with a friend or going to a cafe and reading or doing my own thing among other people, or sometimes going to listen to live music in a low key setting. I’m an empath, so the energy of the place and people greatly affect me so I’m very careful with what I choose to immerse myself in. Like you, I also had some toxic friends that I’ve had to let go over the past several years and it’s caused me to have trust issues. I have 3 friends and all live far away. I’ve often thought I would like to find a friend that I resonate with that lives near me, but I’m also just trying to be content with what is… if it’s meant to be, it will be. Appreciate this conversation and your art in this video is lovely! 💖💖💖
This is so interesting. I was particularly close to one of my grandmothers (the quieter one!) and I've always had friends who are older (In some cases, much older) than me. I'm so glad that this video resonated with you. :)
I have tears running down my cheeks because everything you say resonates with me. I am not on social media with anything else than my art, because I don't want to compare my life with the internet. I learned that it was toxic for me and made me feel sad and even more different than I already did. I too have a very limited group of friends that I see one at a time. And I still to this day, often feel that I do not fit in. Not that I in any way feel better than others....but just that I am different. But people never believe me when I say that I am an introvert, because I often make people laugh or tend to others needs. But I am. Very much so. And i do feel alone sometimes. But remember that there is a big difference between feeling lonely and felling alone. But my art helps me a lot. I think you are right, that with age (I am 40) it gets harder to make friends. But all we really need is a few good ones. Right? :) You are the best, Natasha!!!
All of this, 100% yes, totally me too. ☺️ and I have never had art friends at all until I started interacting with the RUclips artist world. Thank you for sharing, I think a lot of us arty types are similar and feel like we are all weird lol
I'm standing awkwardly in the corner with you. You largely summarized a large part of my life and, I venture to say, many who likely follow you as artists. As you say, it's a lonely passion, unless you have others who are content to work beside you in quiet companionship. I think this is why I enjoy channels like this so much. I can listen to them while I do my own work while also feeling some sort of a kinship. I'm rambling now, but all that to say, thanks for sharing this as I think it will help others who have not learned yet how to navigate being introverts themselves. There's nothing wrong with not being a social butterfly, we're all different.
Fellow introvert here, very much the same as you (although I did quite enjoy a party in my 20s, now the thought makes me shudder!) Small group of friends but very happy in my own company. I think social media does make it a lot easier, as you feel like you're getting social contact but without having to leave home or actually see anyone!!
After 13 years in a demanding extrovert's job I gave my notice two weeks ago. Tomorrow is my last day! The personal price is just too high for the pay. I'm 56 now. I sold my house and moved away from crazy Portland a year ago to a lovely small town on the coast in southern Oregon. Thanks to God and being able to work from home I'm going to pursue my art businesses online now and see where it goes. I'm at the beginning of a new chapter where I am free to be me for the first time ever. I can't waste another year trying not to be an introvert. I have always felt exactly as you've described in your wonderful video and in people's heartfelt comments here. It doesn't feel as lonely knowing I'm not alone in my thoughts and feelings. I used to have a lot of friends. Now just a very few, like you do. Thank you for sharing, my virtual friends! I appreciate you special people so much for being honest, deep, talented and kind! Your artwork is lovely too!
thank you for this video... now i know that im not alone of having a very few friends. There is a downside of having a few friends tho... when those friends is starting to leave you or doesn't talk to you anymore and it'll leave you having 1 or 2 friends or possibly no one... this is hard because especially as an introvert, its difficult to make new friends...
Yes, I can totally relate to this. When I was younger I was described as "shy", painfully shy. I am better about this today. While I can tolerate crowds it is exhausting. My work as a medical coder is solitary and my hobbies of art, philately and fountain pens are also solitary activities and I can count my closet friends on one hand. It is all okay I think. Thx for sharing.
I haven't watched the video yet.... but I have been learning lately about persons being in social situations, and coming out exhausted. Not me, but it gives me a new perspective. I am glad that you recognize the source of exhaustion, and can check out (have your solitude.) Good for you.
Thank you for sharing this. As an introvert myself I felt/feel as an outsider quite often. It helps to know that there are others out there like that. That this is normal too in a world that seems to be made for extroverts
Thank you for this video, it is rare to see someone this honest online. I am probably world’s most extreme introvert, I just can’t stand being around anyone for any amount of time. People, noises and music really irritates me, but also I am so shy that I can’t talk to people like in my university classes I can barely talk to my professors, and I never ever talk to my classmates. I have no friends at all, and I am very happy this way. People find it strange, but I don’t really care. I have never felt the need for human interaction and I absolutely loved lockdown and was devastated when it ended 😂! I have never been able to relate to people my age, and I guess its because I am not interested in small talk or “normal” interests at all. I love fountain pens, watercolors, painting and many other forms of creative art but I have never met anyone IRL who was interested in that. It seems a lot of young people now are only interested in drinking and s*x, neither of which I participate in at all. So I have nothing in common with these people. I have never been to a party or a nightclub. My parents took me out to a bar with live music and I asked them when we could leave every 10 minutes because I just couldn’t stand loud music and flashing lights. I also don’t like modern music as most of it seems to be dirty rap words and no talent, and I don’t like most modern TV shows, especially ones that “girls are supposed to like” as they all seem to be about drinking, dr*gs and s*x. The feelings I get after trying to watch such a show is disgust and disappointment as most of the characters seem to be so miserable. Also I really hate almost very celebrity. So I have nothing to talk about with other young people (unfortunately no one wants to discuss the shading and sheening properties of fountain pen ink with me 😣). Anyways, to summarize I’d rather be home chilling with my cats! I spend all my free time drawing with my favorite cat by my side, and I would pick this over any activity with any person! Sorry for the long comment, I never write RUclips comments, but just couldn’t resist commenting here.
Have you ever read the Bible? Times have changed through much through the decades - maybe you would find something more to relate to in ancient writings of the Creator.
I was devastated when the lockdown ended too. The world is too busy, too noisy. I relate to what you said about your university classes. I was exactly the same way but not because I wanted to be rude. I just never quite found a common footing with these people even though we were studying the same thing. :/
Loved your comments Violet Cat! Very honest, like Natasha. We're all different, & why not?! I don't even know who the celebrities are, when they're mentioned on TV! They' re just a bunch of shallow, hollow, human beings anyway; & who cares what they're doing? Keep being you! 😊❤
I love the grace and courage in this video. I'm a social introvert who enjoys being with groups of people I know for a while, which is useful as a book coach and workshop leader, but I can only be social for a brief period of time before I have to seek out solitude and silence. Otherwise, I get impatient and short-tempered. I need stretches of quiet time to be creative, primarily as a writer but also with watercolors. And yes, I have a few close friends. Lots of people who know me (or think they do) but a few creative "sisters".
Your comment about being impatient and short-tempered when being in a crowd for too long, really hit home with me. I work in retail and it has come to the point where I've asked my manager to keep my shifts under 6 hours. It's my absolute limit and I'm probably stretching it a bit too far
@@lonedoyle2018 Yes, that would do me in. I can be oh so gracious and encouraging and helpful...to a point. Then, get out of the way and let me get back to my cave. 🤣
You’ve basically described me in a nutshell! Thank you for posting this, I don’t feel so much of a loner now! I have been hurt by ‘best friendships’ throughout my life and I’ve learnt that I’m happier with much fewer, trusted people in my close circle. As far as social media goes, I avoid Facebook like the plague and much prefer to belong to our little community here and on Patreon. I know that I feel happy and safe here among like-minded people. Thank you for being so honest in this video, it’s been very comforting to watch. Much love, Jo x
Me too... That's me....my friend a few but the ones I have are true ones.. I love this video.... I love my art... I adore my Boys.. And my Grandchildren.... I love my life just as it is... 😘🙏
You are SO normal! Sometimes it’s not even because we’re introverts. Studies show as we age, our friend circle gets smaller, but our quality of friends increases. This is especially true when you don’t have children to force you to befriend other parents (as is my case). This is a great video, but know everything you express is relatable and healthy. Sending love from afar and kudos for being in sync and authentic.
Hi Natasha! I am very much an introvert and generally tend to have 2 close friends rather than a large social group. As I have gotten older my social anxiety has gotton worse and I really struggle to form new friendships. A few years ago my two closest friends moved to different countries and started families. That's when I discovered youtube and it changed my life completely. I felt I was connected to other like minded people even if they had no idea I existed, which inspired me to start my own youtube channel this year. I hope I can make a small difference to someone out there! Like the youtubers I follow did for me during quite a difficult time.
Your thoughts and feelings resonate with me. Thank you for being so open and honest. I am also an INFJ. Also introverted.I have 1 extremely close friend and several friends. I thrive having alone time. Also tried for a long time to change because I felt something was wrong with me. Im now 54 and am at a point now where I am embracing who I am. Living authentically . For a very long time I was only able to have online connection with my friends. I lived far away from them. Imoved back close to them a year ago. We still do not see each other a lot. My other friends have large group of friends and I don’t feel like I fit in them. In past year I’ve really grabbed onto my authentic self .
I think not having too many is the better way for me because people are rough sometimes! Art is my best friend(my dogs too)I’ve been accused of being a hermit as I also can’t stand more than 2 in a conversation at once!.I’m so glad you’re talking about this because some people call it lonely or empty but for me ( like you) I really exactly the very same way in my need and desire for company and mingling and for this reason I also don’t really socialize or trust a lot of people unless they make it impossible for me to not trust them! My very best friend passed 3 mos ago and it was and rough as there aren’t too many I knew and loved as much as her! I think as artists we don’t have a huge hole inside to fill inside as the creativity and pleasure fills all those holes and don’t leave a lot of room for others. I could go on and on and I’m right there 100%🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I grew up in the 90's, where we were allowed to just be kids without all the BS... but it was also a time where " clicks " or " groups of kids " were categorized and lumped into a label of who they were... IE- jocks, geeks, popular, stoners, etc etc. Now iam not saying this to brag, but I had a pretty large circle of friends in High school, and we were the most popular group in my high school. My girlfriend at that time ( my high school sweetheart) was from or rival school and she was literally the most popular girl at her high school. We were together for 8 years and had extremely large groups of friends together, and we socialized with everyone. I was literally friends with everyone... I got along with everyone, I never judged anyone. That's why I was so popular, but also because I was well known in my area. I was actually sponsored for skateboarding by the end of tenth grade. I won many skateboarding competitions and I skateboarded with pro skateboarders BAM morjera, Kerry getts, Ricky Iola and Clyde singleton. They were all " celebrities " in Philadelphia and the northeast area. BAM actually became Hollywood famous with the show jackass. I knew BAM before he was on that show tho... not while he was. But anyways, long story short... I ended up in a horrible car accident where I almost was not here anymore. I broke both lags, ribs, arm, collar bone, wrist and I had 4 fractures in my skull... which would completely end my skateboarding career very very early. I had to be air lifted by helicopter to a hospital, where I was struggling to survive. After 2 long years I would be " healed " and I still had a very very large circle of friends. When we would go out to clubs or bars, we would have atleast 10 cars with 35 or more people that would kinda just take over the places we went. Tons and tons of photos plastered all over MySpace... yeah OG myspace 😆 🤣 That lasted through our 20's and we would all eventually end up getting houses, getting married, having kids, or have our careers, etc etc..... you know, growing up lol. I had become a chemist for Dow chemical company, and I would be there for 14 years. I was extremely fortunate to be successful and to make very good money. I had a kid and ended up following my dreams and opened up my own Art studio and Bindery. Not only wad I good at skateboarding, surfing, snowboarding and was popular... but i always excelled beyond exceptional at art. I would draw and paint through my whole life, i won almost every art contest i entered throughout school and high school. I still have my handful of best friends that I grew up with from that " popular group " in high school, but we don't see each other that much because we all have been successful and are very busy with carees and our families. Now that iam a bit older, I just sink all my time into my art, bookbinding, and my son. Iam very close with my family and that's about it. Life has a funny way of working out, but as everyone gets older and more mature... you learn your true purposes. Some are forever lost and roaming around, which is very unfortunate. but we all learn what's really important in everyone's own unique life. I am extremely fortunate to have the life that i had/have.. I do beyond well and have everything I ever wanted. now my art and my family are what iam focused on, my legacy instead of " popularity " and a raging social life. I care more about my family than ever... I have weeded out the bad and toxic people in my life... including my ex wife lol. All in all, we all find our own way and our group of friends get smaller and smaller. Life is a gift that must not be wasted, and art is a gift for all life to enjoy. Sorry that I rambled, but I wanted to share just a tiny bit of me... because you were so kind to share with us Natasha. Thank you for your vids... they do make alot of people happy, and you bring joy to people's day... whether you realize that or not. Thank you 😊
Hi Natasha, I’m an introvert and I totally understand you. I have 4 boys and just my youngest lives with me. I am a loner and no friends it saddens me at times, but I have a good family. I can’t get around much due to spinal problems. I also suffer with anxiety and depression and do like to be on my own at times and wish I just had one friend that would be great for me but can’t cope with many people. I too have trust issues as i too have been hurt, used and took advantage of. This was a great video Natasha and great to hear your experiences with relationships. Sending you lots of love 💗 xxx
I used to have a lot of friends. I make friends very easily even though I am an introvert. It helps having a career in the arts because you meet many like yourself. However, Covid really made me aware of how draining it could be (plus I have a significant heart issues so catching Covid would be bad news). And I've also had some bad past relationships that were very one sided or with very competitive types. I've moved back to my home city and even though I have a lot of friends here I rarely go out of my way to see anyone anymore. I have a few close friends, one especially that we generally do some form of pep texting each day. I like my own company too. I also spent years without a significant other so I was used to it and travelling alone. Now I'm better at saying no or just not getting into a situation in the first place that makes me uncomfortable and feeling like I have to be polite and go through the motions. Now it's mostly myself or myself and my husband.
It's truly funny that you have posted this video today. I have been thinking about this topic for a while now, because (in the spirit of your honest video about this) I don't really have friends. At all (I have one person I see from time to time, but they're busy with their own social life/work/etc). I had someone in my life, who was very toxic and basically stripped me of the ability to talk to people over the years. It's a big hurdle to me to jump across to even leave a comment. I often get the feeling of doing something wrong because of that, but then I know that I can't handle large groups of people in any case (I'm autistic). I like more the personal friendship that doesn't just scrape the surface level as well. It's less draining and tiring. I also don't think online friendships are in any way less valuable than "real life" friendships. You said it, there are people behind the avatars, behind the words, and those are real, aren't they? When I was younger I was an avid gamer girl and had lots of online friends and some even were so close to me, they got me through some really hard times and I'll be forever grateful for their presence in my life even when those connections have long since faded away. It's hard to maintain friendships when you don't see each other every day at school/work and mine have just never lasted and I don't know why (people just tend to drop me like a hot potato lol). I'm 100% certain I'm not the only one who's experienced this lack of having people around. I guess I and everyone else who's in the same boat, just haven't found the right people yet and I'm sure they'll show up at one point. Thank you for this video, Natasha. It's important in these crazy times of social media, etc, to let people know that they don't have to be the social butterflies they don't want to be. Lots of virtual hugs to everyone! PS: I do hope this didn't come across as a pity party. That's not my intention. I just wanted to chime in and I sometimes don't find the right words and come across as weird. :)
What you've written here is so interesting, thank you so much for sharing your experiences. Thank you for taking the time to comment and for adding your valuable opinions and voice to the conversation. I'm sorry that you've been treated so badly by someone. You're way stronger than they'll ever be.
This talk was so helpful. I only came to these realizations later in life and had much to struggle through as I worked in careers that were very far from my need to be an artist and my need to spend time alone. I will book- mark this video to keep to play for others or to listen again and learn to better articulate my lifestyle needs that so those that seem not to be able to fathom my nature might better understand. I have even less friends than you as I too have difficulty with small talk and my interest not average it seems. (I had better luck once I switched to a field that was related to psychiatry and psychology as I met deeper thinkers in my coworkers, But I only realized I was an artist ( although I always fantasized that I could have the time to be one but had thought it was not possible) about a year before the pandemic and am working as a caregiver in a part of the city that is isolated so I have no friends at all currently, just acquaintances and the patients I care for. I have only recently had time to again focus on my art and have much to do as far as building my social media but I hope to gain some friendships with other artist. I may very well consider your patreon as It sounds to be a special group of people ( like you)
You are not alone. I have redefined "friends" over the years. As a result my circle of "friends" has diminished considerably. I am not concerned. My "close" friends" are far away. But, if in need, they would be there.
100% agree with you, Natasha! I was in a team building event at work one time where the group was separated into introverts and extroverts. The facilitator asked each group what they would like to know about the other group. My introverted group wanted to know why the other group felt the need to talk all the time and verbalize any thought in their heads.. in short, why can’t you be quiet? The extroverts wanted to know why we couldn’t just express what we were feeling.. why can’t you speak up?. Ahhh.. there’s the crux of it. To me, sites like Facebook are populated with over-sharers… I don’t care what you had for lunch yesterday or that it’s the second anniversary of your cat’s eye infection. On the other hand, I LOVE seeing someone (like you) who genuinely shares their art and feelings. I look forward to you relating both so honestly on RUclips and Patreon and am proud to support you the best way I can. Cheers to you, Natasha! ❤️ You’re a brave soul.
I absolutely love this Vlog Natasha!! I am the same and completely understand the comments so far. I think people are a little confused by me, because I am anything but shy, quite confident actually and I know myself well and my limitations and needs. I don't care to socialize in groups... but give me a thoughtful one-on-one conversation with almost anyone, any day of the week!! and loads of time to do my art. Yet, I love solo travelling because it's easy to meet interesting people... curious right? btw, I am 65 years old and an introvert (which I figured out 20 years ago during a serious bout of depression). Bless you Natasha for 'coming out' in such a gentle manner... you are blessing for my heart.
I find it amazing that your video showed up on my feed. I feel all of the emotions that you described. Currently, I have one very close friend. She lives at the other end of the state so we do not see each other, but talk once a month or so. I have another close friend who also lives a distance away, but who is difficult to respect due to his politically and socially hateful opinions which we do not discuss. I have always had a very small number of friends. As I have aged, and had a number of traumatic experiences, I see that I have chosen to eliminate people from my life as a way of protecting myself. Sometimes I become lonely, but in general, I prefer the quiet and calm of my own company. Any upsets to that quiet can cause me a fair amount of anxiety and drain my energy. I too, used to believe that I was odd and that there was something wrong with me, especially because I have always been very easily moved to tears. I have learned that I am simply very sensitive. I can sense others emotion’s and those emotions can easily become my own. Which is exhausting. Some people say that I am empathic. There is only one person on the planet who has ever understood this about me. Thank you for sharing this video. 💖
Oh, I can absolutely relate 100% Natasha. I find groups of people exhausting. Had 1 friend from the start of school and she and I are still friends, close friends...now for 44 years already. When I was still presenting art workshops at a local art shop, the workshop would be from 9h00 till 12h30 on 1 x Saturday a month. After such a workshop I felt extremely drained and needed to sleep and recharge when I got home. At that moment in time, I also worked half day at the art shop. I enjoyed helping colleagues and clients with art-related stuff as it is a great passion of mine, however, when I got home, I needed alone time to recuperate. I prefer to have a very small friendship circle, people I hold close and dear to my heart as I tend to put a lot of myself into my friendships. I love my alone time and enjoy my own company tremendously. My husband always says that I am a true hermit as I am not even bothered to go to the shops.😆 I am not a great fan of shopping, however, the only shopping I truly enjoy is art shopping 😍 It is absolutely wonderful that you are embracing your personality, that is what makes each of us truly unique and special. 🌼💟🌼 Leana
I would say I’m an extroverted introvert. When I’m in a social setting I’m affable and talkative with everyone. I dislike quiet in social situations, but oddly prefer quiet and solitude in anything else. I have a close group of 7 friends I’ve known since my childhood. We are a friend group cumulatively, and We’ve stayed close in all ebbs and flows of life. How “close” we are and who we lean on independently within that group can change depending on our own personal current experiences, but there’s no envy and very very little infighting. I don’t feel the need for more friends, and I no longer actively seek friendships. And while we have active communication over text chain, we don’t see each other more than once every month or so. The time that I have to myself is precious, though/ and I feel that I need that solitude and quiet to keep my spirit thriving. But I couldn’t live without my friends and the value they bring to my life. We often joke that come senior citizen time we will pool our money, buy a property and live together like The Golden Girls.
I agree I am very social in public, very funny - people say - but I can only be with people for a while but then I need to retreat. I like to be alone. 80% I need to be alone. Helen x
This is how I see myself too. I have very few close friends and love my own company but when in a social situation I can be social and interact with others quite well but I feel that it is more “acting” social than feeling social. Rowan Atkinson is a very private and introverted person but can act extremely well for stage and screen. This resonates with me so much.
When you become senior citizens ... That sounds like a WONDERFUL idea ...pooling your money together & buying a larger home & living together...you could live like Queens ~ Goddesses. A media room for movie nights, an English garden, a library, an exercise room - hire a sexy male trainer, a swimming pool, a detached mother in law apartment - for when you needed meditation time, absolute peace & quiet or time alone. It would be heaven on earth. I wish I felt THAT close to THAT many women to do that !
This totally spoke to me. I for one have zero friends, don't have the desire or need for any. I'm very much dedicated to my children, husband, home, home-schooling, art, pets and hobbies. I don't have the time for anyone else lol. I absolutely understand when you talk about art being your life, it does take a huge amount of our time and it is worth every second.
I already adore you, but this video just further enhanced my opinion of you. Thank you for speaking up for all of us introverts. In the past I have tried to "conform" and all I ever accomplished was making myself miserable. I'm learning its ok to march to the beat of my own drum but am still often filled with self-doubt and left thinking "whats wrong with me"? Despite being an introvert, I do like people and enjoy the company of some and many people seem to really like me....and yet I really don't have friends either and really don't know why. But to be fair I often decline invitations because I get social anxiety but truthfully I also decline because I very much enjoy my own company. I have the most fun with me. I like me most of the time. I get along with me. But I do also think that makes me odd and sometimes resent myself for it because I think I must be missing out on something. I don't know...I'm rambling but throughout your whole video I found myself nodding my head and saying "me too". So thank you for so eloquently sharing what its like to be "us". I wouldn't want you to change a thing about yourself...you're gorgeous, intelligent, thoughtful, wildly talented, and your videos always make me feel really special. The way you present and share your work feels incredibly intimate in a way that always makes me feel lucky to been a witness to it. You somehow make me feel important as if you are trusting me with something very rare and special. Yes, you have a gift. But the way you share your gift transforms you into the gift for the rest of us. Thank you for being Natasha Newton. We need more Natasha Newton's in this world.
Thank you for such a kind comment! It's amazing how many of us feel this way - I'm going through the comments section this morning reading all of the responses and I'm blown away by how similar so many of us are. We're definitely not alone in feeling like this! I really appreciate your comment, thank you again.
Yes, I'm an introvert! I enjoy my own company, and spend most days doing my art. I'm not very good at social events - I go to them occasionally, but then think about how soon I can leave without being too obvious about it. On to coloured pencils, I've tried all sorts, but, like you, Luminance and Lightfast are my favourites. In the past three years I've been buying open stock Luminance and just this week completed my collection of all 100. I've got about 30 Lightfast, and a few Holbeins. I love your artistic style and want to say thank you for all your RUclips videos - I really enjoy watching and listening - you have a very soothing voice!
Thank you very much for sharing this video. I felt so healed this morning listening to you. I am exactly, exactly the same. I have three best friends: one from middle school, one from university and my husband. I see my husband every day, of course, but I don’t see the other two very often. (And one of these two passed away last year from accident.) But I am so happy to have them in my life. I like people and I am a curious person but I need to be in a small happy world of my own to protect my soul.
I spend most of my 20s making a big group of friends and being out every weekend. With years I realized that I was very afraid to be on my own and that having friends gave some sort of social validation… now im on my mid 30s, and I’ve cut most of my friendships either because of time or because of me having zero patience with attitudes and behaviors that now I see are triggering and toxic. What I’ve learned is that you can feel very lonely surrounded by many people and you can feel supported and loved on your own. I have friends and I love them but I love to say that I am my own best friend.
I LOVE what you've written here, Francisco! Thank you for sharing. It resonates a lot with me. Particularly: "...zero patience with attitudes and behaviors that now I see are triggering and toxic". That is exactly how I am now. I used to be fooled in the past. I'm not fooled by people any longer. I see it and recognise it when they behave in this way and I have no time for it.
I'm 72 and spend so much time alone. I try to do better at it but it doesn't work. I don't manage larger groups of women because I can't relate. I never married or have children. Those are the things women seem to talk about and I can't share. I never intended my life to be that way. I spend most of the holidays including my birthday alone. Because of this I have to fight off depression. The times in my life when my creativity takes the center of my life I feel a little better. Finding the fb groups and now youtube has helped me to feel like I have finally found people who have similar Interests as mine. I'm extremely friendly but I'm still by myself. I'm dealing with it. Don't know if I'm getting any closer to finding an answer but I'm hoping to create some art along the way. I love your channel. Very inspiring!
As a neurodiverse introverted immigrant I am proud of having one good friend (we live in different countries though). Anyways I prefer animals. I don't ever feel need to spend time in an environment with other people around. It drains my very little energy completely.
I am exactly the same, immigrant in UK, neurodiverse, introvert, really don't feel like I fit in. One or two friends.... pressure from outside world is enormous, expectations.... I like my peace and quiet...more and more.....
You’re definitely not alone, crowds are hard work but I’m not as badly affected as you are. I do understand how past experiences inform one’s behaviour, it’s hard to trust when you have a history of being let down.
Amazing and brave video to put out there. Personally, as a people pleaser from childhood, I love my own company and that is where I am the most ath peace and my truest self. But I also really love being with people. I guess it’s got something to do with the people pleasing element, because while I prefer being alone I do enjoy the company of others because it does give me a rush of energy. However it does drain me. I think it’s a combination of both introvert and extrovert I guess. I’m so happy for you that you found your harmonious friendship number and I’m sorry for any hardships in past friendships that you’ve had.They can scar you very deeply for a very long time
I loved that you opened up about this. I seem to know a lot of people, but only have a few close friends. I don't get to see them that often, but when we do it is the best time! I was transferred to a new place for my job. I don't really care for this city so I have only made a few friends. That's one of the reasons why I took up watercolor. It makes me happy and I can spend time by myself without feeling alone. Groups of people stress me out. I'm the shy one at the party and may connect with one or two others. That's it. I'd rather observe. I don't like being the center of attention whatsoever. All in all, I don't need to have a lot of friends to be happy. I can be introverted, entertain myself, and be content. I'm close with my family, but I don't get to see them often. I'm too far away.
I’m grand going out dancing or to concerts as long as I don’t have to interact with anyone. Or at least I used to be, before the pandemic. I guess even as introverts, we’re all a bit different. Thanks for making this video. It’s nice to find a comment section full of fellow introverts 😊
You could have been talking about me all the way through this including the friendship let-downs, trust issues, comparisons to others even though they're not living lives I really want. Like you I felt I was out of place/wrong as a child/teen/20something and it wasn't until my mid to late thirties when I realised I could stop 'performing' in every social situation and just embrace the way I am. When Covid came along the world suddenly seemed moulded to my preferred way of being for a while and it was liberating to feel that constant performative pressure drop away. You've articulated it really well and there are definitely a fair few of us out there, it's just that we're all quietly doing our thing which inevitably can feel like we're the only ones!
Thank you for this gentle and loving video. In a world where we are constantly bombarded with images, comparisons, and superficial messages, it is encouraging to hear from others that they long for deep, meaningful relationships and life experiences. I am very much an introvert and relate to all you shared. Thank you! I wish you many blessings.
Thank you so much for sharing with us!!!! I would probably be considered an extrovert by my friends however…I am somewhat of a hobbit…I live in the environment of my church family…and have many lovely friends ,but like you…only a handful that I am close to. For me, the perfect get together would be a Very small and quiet one with lots of laughing . I hope I have not totally confused you…lol…love and smiles in Jesus🥰 P.S. I have introverted friends….and Tho they do not speak as much as others do, when they DO speak…I listen because I know they have thought about whatever they are about to share…in short…my opinion is that many introverts are deep thinkers.
A lot of your story resonates very deeply. I am definitely a massive introvert and a homebody. I've always struggled with friendships and I think that is down to a couple of different reasons. Firstly, I was bullied as a kid which made me withdraw and think that there was something wrong with me. And secondly, I too have trust issues due to a few friendships that just ended badly. So now my circle is very very tiny and I think I like it that way. I think I like the idea of having a big circle more than I do actually having that big circle. And that is purely for the reason that I love my own company and spending time on my art. Whereas, as you said, friendships do take time and effort. Friendships take showing up consistently, especially when they are with people living in the same area as you. Most of my close friends live further away so it is not so weird when either of us disappears for a while. But I know we always make time to catch up when the opportunity arises. I also believe online communities can be spaces where friendships blossom, especially in this day and age. It makes me think of penpals back in the day. But, I, like you, often wonder how to move those friendships into the real world rather than the virtual only. But they definitely fulfill me in a similar way as real-life friendships. Thank you for sharing it!
100% relate! I think a lot of it stems from my childhood where we were not allowed to have friends to come round to play, and our parents not having any friends either. I was a child with a very outgoing and boisterous personality, and I don't think my parents knew how to deal with it after having a very quiet and insular set of twins before me. As a result, I was told to be quiet ALL the time, so I basically grew up with a personality that I wasn't born with. It's affected me in many ways that I only really discovered 40+ years later. Since getting older, and moving away from my very small group of trusted friends, I have made no new friends in a new country. I did try hard for the first few years after moving here to make some connections but none of it stuck. Partly due to culture differences, having no kids, small town living, etc. It was worse than dating and such hard work. I have much better connections with people online, but probably if faced with having to meet up in person I'd make up an excuse and back out of it just to avoid the experience and stress of it all. I used to go through very deep bouts of depression from loneliness during my 20's through mid 30's, but now I am used to it and it doesn't bother me anymore. I probably annoy my husband by talking too much some days, but he puts up with it. ;) I didn't find Covid lockdowns a problem since I had prepared all my life for it. Hah!
I only recently realized this about myself. My parents didn’t have any friends (looking back I think they were both exhausted and depressed) and whenever I tried to have friends come to our house, my parents acted very annoyed and put out. So I just stopped having friends over and spent time by myself in my bedroom. And of course as a kid if you stop having your friends around, nobody wants to be friends with you. It was a vicious cycle. I was shy to begin with and still am. Now in my 40s I have zero friends. The only people I speak to are my coworkers (because I *have* to!) and husband.
I too am an expat. I retired during the lockdown & am feeling a bit pathetic and isolated. But I have chronic pain & fatigue & just don‘t think I have the stamina to nurture new relationships. I am a true introvert as well, so there‘s that! 😂
@@bubblemonkeyx We have such similar scripts. Because of my personality being beat out of me I became extremely shy and still am now. I can put on an act and look outgoing and friendly, but deep down I just want to stay at home forever.
@@SN-sz7kw I hear you! I have developed long term chronic illnesses so the idea of having to explain it all to anyone just puts me off and would put off any new friend, I am sure! It does make you feel even more isolated and pathetic in another country, doesn't it? No matter how long I have been here, it still will never be home.
Love this authentic video💕. I am also an INFJ. Learning my personality type along with the unconditional acceptance and love I receive from knowing Jesus has made me very at peace with the way that I am wired and created. I believe as an artist being an introvert and enjoying alone time is a huge advantage for me. Along with preferring more time alone than being social, I am hyper sensitive to my surroundings (people, places, nature, etc) which I have found helps me interpret and express what I am sensing, seeing, feeling through my art. I feel like a conduit quit often, hope that made sense. I just want to say, do not try to change how you were created, you are beautiful just the way you are and very much loved. I am so happy that I found your channel and would love to be your online friend😁
I am not an introvert, I am very extroverted but I still don’t have many friends. Part of this is I have more niche interests so I didn’t find people who would share those interests. Also because of trauma, I didn’t prioritize my friendships.
Oh I can relate to so much of your commentary! I always thought I was weird because I preferred quiet and spending time alone. I never have felt at ease in a large group of people, and the more loud and obnoxious behavior there was, the more I couldn’t wait to escape the situation. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and reminding us we are not alone 😊 and your artwork is lovely ❤️
Thank you for expressing your feelings and allowing other people to feel courageous enough to realize they are ok too! I’m 59 and have felt the same way of not quite ‘fitting in’…..my entire life until very recently I have tried, but have realized I actually like myself very much and really don’t feel the need to explain or justify to anyone anymore. I have one friend that I’ve known for 50 years and consider her more my sister than friend. I love spending time finding new ways to become more creative and learning new things. Pets are also lovely to connect with as well….that is truly unconditional love 💗
That's odd! It seemed that you were the voice in my head my entire life. Thank you for your transparency. You popped up today from the algorithm and I am so thankful as I love to dabble in watercolor, among other things. I enjoy people and hanging with my family, but I feel a true sense of peace when I am alone, creating. Hopefully one day, my full time job will be as an artist. I have one friend, which I am thankful for. By the way, I love the color of your nail polish. Your art is such a great discovery on YT.
I cane across your clip by sheer chance. Every single word you said and feeling you shared resonated do deeply with me. It's as if I was looking in a mirror. I struggle with all the same feelings for all the same reasons. I am 52, I have 4 close friends and it's just me, no husband, no kids etc. I struggle with chronic lonliness, not because I want loads of friends but because I seek the deep connection you were describing. It just seems so hard to find these days. And as you get older it's even more challenging to 'find your people' because I feel like they all have their own lives and circles. For so long I've felt so left out. I value depth in people, not quantity. I too love my art and im trying to dip my toes into posting online but im very shy. I've been badly scorched by online 'friends' in the past. I can't thank you enough for posting this, as well as your amazing artwork. It explained what I can't express myself. I live alone and spend most of my days alone and if you ever feel like reaching out, I would love to have you as much friend. Wonderful clip. I shall subscribe ❤️🙏
Thank you, Annette! It's so interesting to hear your experiences. I'm sorry to hear that you've had a bad time with online friends in the past. As in 'real-life' we have to be careful who we befriend, I guess. x
As an introvert myself, and my partner an extrovert, I would feel guilty not wanting to "go out" everyday as he wanted to do. He would get upset and it even caused a few breakups but he always came back. Now I am more secure with myself to just say No and NOT feel guilty. It is perfectly normal and healthy. He has come to accept me just the way I am and we both respect each other for it. Thank you so much for validating our existence and jut reinforcing the fact that yes, we are all normal in our own right! Beautiful artwork as usual!! (I am LOVING the A. Gallo paints!) ❤️
I just found your channel. I am an introvert and have had experiences like you where it's left me with trust issues. I have a couple close friends that I spend my time with and a few that I see on special occasions and holidays. I spend a lot of my time by myself and people have a hard time understanding that it's something I truly enjoy and need to restore myself. I'm really glad I found your channel and thank you for sharing!
Thank you sharing Natasha. I'm 100% with you and just like yourself. Ever since I realize how introverted I truly am, many years ago, and learned who I truly am as an introverted man, I limited my friendships and social life. I have just one really good friend. Living a single life with the bare minimum of social interaction has lowered my stress levels to almost zero and my quality of life has become heavenly. I always leave a small gap in the social door just in case a true friend wants to walk in. Being a single man, introverted and self dependant has given me the value of inner peace. My art gives me the solitude I love and the one friend gives me just enough interaction to feel included. Thank you again for sharing. You are not alone. X
Oh my goodness, this video was a breath of fresh air. Thank you for being so honest. I would consider myself to be an introvert. I work in retail and am surrounded by people several hours a day but I absolutely hate it. I don't really have any close friends. I have one person I've known since I was 16 (I'm almost 52) and we text occasionally but no one I would say I could talk to. I have definitely become more introverted as I've aged and am generally happy in my own company...though I must admit it would be nice to have a close friend to chat to sometimes.
I feel like you were narrating for me as I was relating so much to what you said. Speaking of friends, I am about to head out the door to meet up with my dear friend (like you, I only have a handful of friends). I’m helping her turn two special vases into lamps, and we’re going wedding shopping (her son is getting married next year). Anyway, I will come back later and share some more, deeper thoughts. It’s truly lovely to connect with you! 🤗
Im so glad you're bringing a light to this topic. We live in a world dominated by extroverts and are always seen as the odd ones out, or having something wrong with us, when there's nothing wrong at all, we're just different. I am an introvert with even fewer friends than you and am completely contented with that. Thank you for speaking about this.
This so resonates with me. When I started doing art I pulled away from people and went inside. I have sometimes feel guilty for not being social but it’s like art is the majority of my world and then I want to go into nature for a break rather than with people. My life used to be the opposite way. Thanks for making me feel normal lol.
Wow! Thank you for your bravery in sharing this! I feel so similar to what you describe. I have found that making new friends is more difficult the older I get. And friendships are not like when I was a child or even like the friendships I had in my 20’s, I think in part because our interests change and we get busy with family, raising children, our careers, etc. I think its great you are enjoying your online friendships! I enjoy mine and find them fulfilling, except for that I love to meet out and hug my friends at times… this I miss! Thank you again for your honesty and vulnerability in sharing! Btw- I love that pale aqua! Is it a mix of yours?
I have no idea why this came up in my RUclips feed but I thought I would give it a listen. I am also a very creative person, now in my 70s. During my life I have seen and experienced much, but what I appreciate most is my own space and time. I have a lovely family and two good friends, who understand me to a T, however they also know I would be there 100% for them if they needed me and the reverse is true too. I have always maintained that you must work at friendships and it does require commitment. However I sincerely love being a true director of my own life now. Lovely paintings by the way.
I totally agree with you about small talk. I would much rather have deep, meaningful conversations more than surface level interaction. I too have very few friends, and most of them live very far away. Having an online community helps not to feel totally lonely, but I still need personal interaction once in a while to feel whole. Being an introvert doesn't mean you always need to be alone. It's just a different way of seeing life! I love hanging out with other introverts because they totally get it :)
I used to be an extrovert. Current political atmosphere here changed all that. I am now happiest when I am alone. I enjoy the quiet & tranquility. I enjoy your videos so much because your soft, calm voice soothes me as much as your art work.
Wow, you are describing very much of how *I* am❗️ I don’t get *why* the majority of people feel the need to constantly ‘chase’ action. I think ‘we’ are just deeper-minded people & that makes you more solid & calm(?). Who knows, it’s just comforting to hear there are others like *me* ❣️
Thank you for sharing your feelings. That in itself takes courage. I am the exact same. I have never been at ease in social situations, and I’ve never had many friends. When I was younger, I thought there was something wrong with me because all of my “friends’ would just talk about themselves and I was always the listener, which is ok, but exhausting. This hit home with me when I had a meet up with a friend from high school and I was happy to be reconnecting with her. When we got together all she did was talk about herself and her life, she never even asked about how I was doing. It was so one sided. Plus after she was done talking, I didn’t feel like she was genuinely interested in me. It’s tough making friends and I genuinely find most people exhausting. I would much rather be alone. I have been blessed later in life with two really good girlfriends and a husband that “gets” me and understands me- he is the exact opposite, he has friends for miles- but we understand each other . I have accepted my oddness and that’s ok. Your art is beautiful and you inspire me.
I can totally relate to everything you’ve said in this video! I’m the same, I have to have my own company and my own space, I have social anxiety general anxiety and I am incredibly uncomfortable and upset in busy, loud places. I think that’s part of the reason I love art so much because it’s my own private quiet time
I'm an introvert and an extrovert. It depends on the situation. But honestly, I hate drama so that is why I stay to myself most of the times. Great video. You are not alone.
Thanks for making this! It’s definitely relatable. I have one close friend that I’ve had for almost twenty years. We support each other with everything. I do often wish I had more friends, but as you mentioned, I can’t just walk up to them and ask if they want to play lol The fact that I’m pretty sensitive to sound and sudden loud noises makes going to places to meet people very difficult. I do my best, and I generally rely on my job to give that bit of social interaction that I need. Any other time, I’ll be found alone, working on my hobbies or listening to music
Thank you for sharing this. I used to have a lot of friends & I was very social but then I moved an hour away, got married and became very ill & housebound. Sadly now I have no true friends - I have friends that check in once a year but I would have hoped my friends would be closer when I'm going through a hard time with my health so I find that really hard. My husband is my best friend but I would love to have a friend who was close enough to be in contact at least once a week for a catchup even if it's just by text. It was nice for you to make this as I feel less alone. Thank you
What a brilliant video. Thank you for giving a voice to the experience of others. In big groups, I'm very introverted but amongst my friends and family, I'm much more of an extrovert. I never feel I fit in in groups but amongst friends, I feel I can be silly and playful and strange because they accept me as I am. I prefer deeper conversations and hate surface level conversations. I prefer quiet and nature and contemplation and observation to the noise of groups. I feel like im neither an introvert nor an extrovert but a blend of the 2. And as I get older I'm much more comfortable with that and feel less and less need to 'fit in'.
I just love you and this is one reason why. You are just so real, so calming, watching your art process just makes me happy-it makes me want to paint! You were (ironically) one of my first “Art friends” because you were one of the first YT artists running on my iPad while I painted in the pandemic. Thank you! To your Q: I’m an extrovert, but I also have three best friends (two of whom live distant), and an introvert husband who is the ultimate best friend. I love learning about introversion as part of loving and living with an introvert. If you haven’t read the book Quiet, you might really love it! It helped me understand him much more thoroughly. ❤️🤗👍
I’m not shy. In my life I’ve done a lot of public performance, drama and singing, and enjoyed it immensely. In a debate or a rousing discussion, I’m quite happy to voice my opinion. But, despite these seemingly extrovert qualities, I’m definitely an introvert. I have only three close friends. I need LOTS of time alone to recharge and re-energise. I dread large social occasions and find them absolutely exhausting. It’s taken decades for me to realise and accept my introversion. Thank you for sharing what is a very relatable story……a part from the fine arts aspect! That’s definitely NOT my strength. I am an awesome gift wrapper though; I take ages doing one present and they always look so pretty. Does that garner me artistic credits? 😊
I can relate so much to this. I also have major trust issues because of how people have betrayed me, hurt me, abandoned me, etc. It does make it extremely difficult to have real friendships even though I really want to sometimes. But it’s also hard to not only find someone you can trust, but someone who understands your need for space sometimes.
Thank you for sharing. I’m an introvert and can totally relate. Now that I’m older, I find that I’m more honest and don’t care to please other people any more. But I have always been the type of person that doesn’t mind going somewhere alone. I have a demanding job that requires me to care and give a lot to others and I find myself drained at the end of each day. Art helps keep me grounded. I have one close friend and a friend from high school who lives far but we message often. I really don’t love going out to clubs or anything like that. Many years ago I remember going with a group of women that I knew to Las Vegas and we were in a club and I thought to myself, “why am I here?” Lol 😂 it was awful. I wouldn’t say that I’m lonely, though I spend a lot of time alone. I’m very distrustful of others and find many people to be very self-serving and selfish. I honestly enjoy being alone now and not having to deal with other people’s drama. I have no desire to find a romantic partner anymore. I don’t want to have to deal with caring for anyone else. It sounds awful, I know. But I prefer to live in peace.
What a lovely video, Natasha. I think of myself as shy and an introvert…yet I’ve worked in media sales my entire adult life. So no one who knows me would probably believe that. I grew up an only child to a single, introvert mother, and I learned to enjoy my own company. I crave space, which can be difficult to find now that I’m also a wife, mother, and small media business owner. I know a lot of people but I only have a small number of close friends. And, I, too, prefer to talk to one person at a party than mingle! So all to say, thank you. Your words resonated with me. ❤️
Loved this Natasha, really resonated with me. I migrated some 30 yrs ago and left a couple of close friends in the UK who I still miss. Haven’t been able to make close friends here partly due to me really. I miss having relevant history with my day to day interactions and like you sometimes feel inadequate when seeing what people are up to on social media. This video was really well thought out and thought provoking and it was brave of you to open up about your experiences. Take care😘Max in Australia.
This. I could have written it. Moved from the UK and a handful of close friends. I thought I did the right thing, that I'd one day fit in, but no go, and not from lack of trying. Social media is a saving grace for Some human interaction, and at the same time, it can be a curse. I don't want their fun, but I do want my own, introvert fun with introvert friends. All the best from Mexico.
I love your insights here. I am one of the rare ones who fall into the both category. I worked as a student counsellor and am surrounded by people all day, talking, encouraging. I am friendly with everyone, so have a lot of people I am friendly with, and I do love this and it gives me energy. But also, because of childhood trauma's, I also need time on my own and guard that ferociously. I would rather have the one on one deep meaning conversations, and really enjoy the deepness of a real friendship, but this can also frighten me, to be so vulnerable, so i revert back into just enjoying the friendly chats in my day with people. People see me as a warm, friendly, funny and relational person......yet I can see myself also as very serious, intuitive, and needing time to stop, reflect and get balance again. I would be the one at the party with you, talking about frivolous things to help you feel comfortable and once you were, wed be laughing at all the serious things of life and having a very lovely and real connection. As a mi, extroverts are often misjudged as attention seeking, making things about them etc whereas for me, I am a kind soul and I just really enjoying talking and connecting with others, and see everyone as a potential new friend :)
It's like you describe my life. At 50 I'm becoming more and more of an introvert as I always know I was. in my younger years, this was not the case at all, but I always like "me time" more. Thank you for this video!
In this video I'll share the process of working on a mixed media painting in watercolour and pencil in my sketchbook while I chat to you about why I don't have many friends. This is just me being very honest about myself, my circumstances and my life, in the hope that it resonates with some of you, and that you'll perhaps feel less alone. Are you an introvert too? Do you have a large friendship group, just a couple of close friends, or no friends at all? Do you ever feel lonely and how do you cope? Sending so much love to you all.
I'd love to be your friend if you'd have me. 😊
It's uncanny how much I feel we have in common, from childhood on up. It was like you were describing my life. (I know that probably sounds corny and I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable in any way.) I just want you to know there are people who have similar backgrounds and stories. I too am an introvert and have only a few really good friends because of trust issues. My best friend of 30 years moved to Florida from New Jersey and we only communicate occasionally. But I'd rather have a couple of true, good friends than a lot of questionable people that I have to figure out. I don't have the energy for that. For me there are friends and there are acquaintances.
One of my closest friends and I met through group therapy. As well as my fiance! He and I have so much in common with our life experiences.
Well, I think I've taken up enough of your time. Just know there are those of us that are here for you if you need us. ❤️
@@maryannprzybycien2013 I wonder if you could be a pen pal via snail mail?
Eliza Most Beautiful Day is today!
1st of September 2022
Australia xx🌏
Natasha, listening to your nightclub experience reminded me of the time 15 years ago when I swore to myself I would never go to another wedding. I would go to the church ceremony, but that's that. Having made that decision actually helped me to say No. There is nothing wrong in not enjoying nightclubs, have been there, done that, don't want to do it again. I also have a very small friendship group in real life, plus a couple of online only close friendships, my husband has even fewer friends and he's more than happy. I've come to appreciate my outsider position, as we all have our role to play in this world.
I'm an introvert. I miss my friends from school so so much I've just not been able to be a good friend, I can't stay in contact. I dream of them often. I can't connect with people like I used to. I don't know why.
I am like you I am and artist, and an introvert. I had the same "night club" experience, I thought I was just weird. I then had no other introverts around me. I now have 3 really good friends, they are introverts as well. We mostly text each other to chat. I can text off and on for hrs. but a real conversation would drain me. Thanks for posting this makes me feel a little bit like my tribe is bigger than I thought.
I am an introvert as well. At 57 years old I know who I am and what I need to survive in this world: a big part of the day alone, my pets, calming music, lots of sleep, walks outside, drawing, painting and photography, and most importantly people who understand me and support me. I wasted years of my life trying to “fit in” and even drank too much to relax at parties and events. Now, at this time in my life, I’ve created my world to fit me, not the other way around. I’m happy for you for accepting yourself and being honest with others. We need more people like you to “come out” as introverts because we are pretty amazing people! Also you have the most calming and beautiful voice!
I agree!
I can relate to you completely. At 56 I can be honest with myself.
I agree as well.... 60 years here! 💛
Thank you so much for sharing ❤
I have a few special friends and a lot of family friends angles and spiritual relationship with the lord we all are
Capeàble of art painting and communication
I’m definitely an introvert! Going on 70, I’ve realized that we introverts have handled the pandemic much better than extroverts.
I love watching you create your art❣️
I'm 67 and also an introvert. The friends I had (not many) have either died or drifted away. I'm alone but not lonely, I love my own company. I agree about the pandemic, it hardly effected me.
@wendy This really made me smile, it’s so very true 😀
So true Wendy, I felt bad at the time for loving the lockdowns in the UK. My creativity soared and I was so happy.
I too loved lockdown in the uk. I would happily go back to the beginning tomorrow. Nothing to do with the pandemic as that was awful for everyone and so scary. Just the being safe and cocooned and not having to worry about socialising.
I totally agree with you about the pandemic. I live on the west coast of Canada and we were never forced to stay at home but we weren’t allowed to have visitors in the house which suited me absolutely.
I’m 74 and I have no use for large groups of superficial friends who talk about meaningless things that don’t interest me in the least. I have spent my life with one to now a handful of people I wish to spend time with. Mostly I, like you, enjoy my alone time most of all. Good for you for being forthcoming about it.
I’m 28, have a few but not really close friends & wish to change that. I feel like now the people my age are in to being friends for superficial reasons, and I find it bland & meaningless. It’s hard finding depth friendships in this generation unfortunately
Despite being an introvert with hardly any friends, this brings enormous comfort to me and seeing the comments from everyone makes me feel warmth that I had been convinced I wasn’t capable of feeling.
That's lovely to hear, Simon.
Reading a lot of the comments here, all that I could say has already been said. I have been accused of being selfish and self centred for not wanting to socialise, made to feel that I'm odd but I'm obviously not. So a big thumbs up Natasha, and may your online, social network continue to flourish. Thank you.
I too have been called all the same things, I am like Natasha and her story is much like mine ❤️
Yes! It's a weird phenomenon. I was called a snob for a long time because I didn't partake. I am just an introvert!
@@txspacemom765 yep, that’s a common thing for extroverts to think of us, and they get surprised when they get to know us….🥹🫣🙄
@@jilllindfield2187 YES! I have been told "If only I got to know you better" by people who blew me off and then maybe came around after others were truly trying to get to know me.
Yes I’m exactly the same way! So much of what you’ve said resonates with me! Thank you for doing this! ❤️
You're welcome and I'm so glad. :)
I LOVE this video.. I’m exactly the same way and I can totally relate. I’m an expat from the US living in Quebec and I have acquaintances but no more super close friends. The only people I spend time with outside my husband and daughter (who is 6) are other family and the parents of my daughters friends. I’m an artist by hobby so I prefer spending the time I have off not with other people but that is my time for myself where I can paint. It’s nice to know I’m not alone and I was feeling guilty about this for a while. Your perspective soothed my soul (and I can’t wait to see more details about your new palette.. beautiful!)
Thank you, Erika! I'm so glad that this video resonated with you. I'll share more of all of the watercolour palettes in my watercolour series over the coming months!
I’m an introvert! Im 61. Have very few close friends. In fact I had two “best” friends, now only one. I’m empathic, too, which means being in large groups for a long period of time is many times very difficult. I can go to a fair or a shopping mall, and I, too, am social and like being with people for short periods. I’ve been betrayed as well. I do enjoy being alone and quiet (well, quiet except for having RUclips videos on!).
Such a lovely video. I had to drink to get through a social event. I don’t put myself through that anymore. I am a loner and I completely enjoy myself without all the complications of friends and family.
I was forced to be an extrovert my whole life. 5 years ago, I started become the real me. I am just an introvert, it's that simple. I am very creative, and it takes a lot of energy. I spend time reading, exploring, visiting places and recording my travels. Most of the things I do, like any art, sewing, photography, are very singular hobbies. When I was in school, I preferred to stay in at recess and help the teacher or go to the library but I was forced to go and socialize. I am now in my late 40's and I can be social when needed but I have a lot of down time, to recharge. I'm also a weirdo, as I don't know anything that is pop culture or current. I prefer old movies, museums, libraries, animals, being outside and moving around a lot. I can't do surface level friendships. I do not collect social media friends. I only have FB because I need it for 1 group for college, otherwise I would be done with it. I moved from Corporate healthcare to working in my passion field. It changed the pressure to be attached to the phone all the time. I'm not a drinker, party, going out with friends kind of person, never have been. I don't do drama, I am not looking to be the center of the party, I don't like fake friends or people. You are not lacking. You are you. Social media is not a true picture but people pretend it is. I refuse to live to work, I refuse to post everything about my life, every picture and selfie, that if it's not posted, I'm not worthy or doing anything. I move in silence and it's wonderful. Last night, I went to bed at 8:45, sometimes it's midnight. As you get older, you know what you like and not really bother with impressing others or worry about their opinions.
I love this!!
Un gran beneficio de la adultez , temprana o avanzada , es cierta "impunidad" que nos permite elegir sin culpas , comportarnos sin remordimientos , seguir sin miedo . Y disfrutar de todas las horas (que a veces faltan) para nuestros propios intereses . Un amable entendimiento conmigo misma es reconfortante y abrazo mi pacífica y reconfortante soledad . Gracias por éste video y todos sus comentarios : )
What a beautiful, tender video. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself with us 🦄
Thank you, Debs. 🤗
I definitely need lots of time alone. When I was a young woman, I had lots of people in my life and was very active socially. Looking back, I can see that I was doing what I thought was expected. As I've gotten older, I realized that being around people for prolonged periods of time exhausted me and I'd experience burn out. I love the people in my inner circle. My husband and my children are also pretty introverted and we've taken the time to explain to our extended family what that means for us and how we are able to interact for small amounts of time with a small group of people. I too only enjoy meaningful one on one conversation. I can't stand small talk or gossip. It can get a little boring being alone and sometimes i do feel like company but the cost of being around others is too much for me. I don't hate people but I'm aware that the way I am makes me look very antisocial. I'm awkward in social situations too so feel self conscious. I have one good friend and a few good family members that I enjoy spending time with but it adds up to only a handful of brief occasions a year. I do love being alone but I'm rarely lonely tbh. I married my best friend and my now grown sons and grandchildren provide us plenty of stimulation and company. The one thing I wish I had was a creative friend or two. People who love art as much as I do. Thanks for starting this conversation. I enjoy your quiet channel. Rachelle, Australia xo
Thank you for sharing... sounds so very much like mine... your thoughts were comforting. I've had health issues but that isn't what changed me. God bless you, from a California Gramma ❤️
Thank you, Rachelle. I'm so tired of people who thrive off of gossiping about other people - I have a couple of people like that in my life currently and I'm just so over it. I can relate to so much of what you've written here.
Same here. I felt that being social was required of being an adult to be labeled "normal". Now that I'm close to my 30s I realize it's my life and my happiness. I don't need to fit in. I just like to be alone with myself.
I feel so similar! I’m a teenager but this really affected me more when I got into high school. I didn’t realise how nice my friendship group in primary was until year 8 when things started going downhill. I tried to make friends with someone who was nice but very different to me because I had a stubborn ideology that it was possible to be friends with everyone. I ended up with really bad depression that made paranoid of all the friends around me because I just couldn’t find anyone I connected with. A few years later I’ve made some friends and reconnected with a few old friends, but I’d rather have good friends then loads of them. If I’m being honest I really like spending time alone doing things I like, but my family keep forcing me into situations where I’m really uncomfortable and can’t even defend myself because nobody understands. I guess it’s life so I have to deal with it, but after seeing how I end up after feeling completely miserable, I’m genuinely scared of losing my friends because of how paranoid I am. Hopefully I’ll get better but for now I’m trying to take it day by day
Man, I feel the same way. I have three good friends one that I’ve known since we were in the 3rd grade, one I became friends with my 12th grade year, and one other friend. My one friend that I’ve known the longest is the best but sadly we don’t get to really see each other much because we don’t live as close by as we used to. I’m so quiet and shy, and sometimes I feel like I don’t really have any friends and feel like my two younger sisters seem to have so many. Also, for me I could stay home all day and just paint or do something fun and crafty and I would be so happy. Now the three friends I do have I will say really are good friends of mine, especially the one I’ve known the longest. I will also say one thing I remember my mom telling me once when I was younger, which is actually something really good to remember is. She said when growing up you will always know who your true friends are, I also remember being told by someone else once that, it’s not about the quantity of friends you have but the quality of them. And I never really had thought of that before. So I guess that’s something good to always think about and remember especially when feeling down. But wow I feel/am the same way.
I’m exactly the same. I love being alone and only have three friends! I could not manage any more lol! X
I am the same. I remember one day when I was out shopping up town, I came across a work mate and she said are you by yourself, I said yes she looked shocked. But I like shopping by myself, nobody holds you back and you can do what you want. You don't have to be with others to enjoy yourself🌼🌷🌼
I'm an introvert that is challenged everyday by this busy and dynamic world we live in. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Everything you said resonated with me. I also spend a lot of time alone in my studio, and enjoy only deep conversations and meaningful friends. One of the good things of ageing really is the freedom to choose only things or people you like, and to be able to say no to everything that is exhausting and meaningless to you.
Definitely resonate with your thoughts 💕. Total introvert… though oddly enough, my mom tells me that I used to be extroverted as a little kid before the age of 7, when some trauma happened, but I can’t remember that time at all. I just remember feeling strange and alone.
As a kid and teen, I was totally unable to relate to anyone my own age, often finding myself getting along better with my grandma’s friends than anyone else lol. I would have been totally lost without her… she was my person 🥰. She understood me, always. Going to body-mind-spirit expos and reading spiritual books together with her was when I felt most authentic, aside from when I was singing or drawing. I think a lot of creatives are a lane unto themselves - which I love! There’s so much beauty in unique perspectives 🌟
Like you, it took me many years to learn to speak up for myself, stop trying to be someone I’m not for the sake of feeling “normal” and just be honest about what I like. My idea of being social is going to have tea with a friend or going to a cafe and reading or doing my own thing among other people, or sometimes going to listen to live music in a low key setting. I’m an empath, so the energy of the place and people greatly affect me so I’m very careful with what I choose to immerse myself in.
Like you, I also had some toxic friends that I’ve had to let go over the past several years and it’s caused me to have trust issues. I have 3 friends and all live far away. I’ve often thought I would like to find a friend that I resonate with that lives near me, but I’m also just trying to be content with what is… if it’s meant to be, it will be.
Appreciate this conversation and your art in this video is lovely! 💖💖💖
This is so interesting. I was particularly close to one of my grandmothers (the quieter one!) and I've always had friends who are older (In some cases, much older) than me. I'm so glad that this video resonated with you. :)
It's nice to know that I m not the only one that feels good on their own. I ALSO HAVE TRUST ISSUES
I have tears running down my cheeks because everything you say resonates with me. I am not on social media with anything else than my art, because I don't want to compare my life with the internet. I learned that it was toxic for me and made me feel sad and even more different than I already did. I too have a very limited group of friends that I see one at a time. And I still to this day, often feel that I do not fit in. Not that I in any way feel better than others....but just that I am different. But people never believe me when I say that I am an introvert, because I often make people laugh or tend to others needs. But I am. Very much so. And i do feel alone sometimes. But remember that there is a big difference between feeling lonely and felling alone. But my art helps me a lot. I think you are right, that with age (I am 40) it gets harder to make friends. But all we really need is a few good ones. Right? :) You are the best, Natasha!!!
I can so relate to what you have written. Thanks for sharing .
I too can so relate to what you’ve said 💝
💕 Isn't it odd how attending to the needs of others allows introverts to find a small niche of comfort in the crowd?
@@MelanieChadwick Thank you so much Melanie!
@@sharonneth4231 Thank you Sharon. You are absolutely right. ❣
All of this, 100% yes, totally me too. ☺️ and I have never had art friends at all until I started interacting with the RUclips artist world. Thank you for sharing, I think a lot of us arty types are similar and feel like we are all weird lol
Let's all be weirdos together! ;)
And when you’ve had a traumatic past, you feel even more out of place as well
@@NatashaNewtonArt I’m in 😁
I'm standing awkwardly in the corner with you. You largely summarized a large part of my life and, I venture to say, many who likely follow you as artists. As you say, it's a lonely passion, unless you have others who are content to work beside you in quiet companionship. I think this is why I enjoy channels like this so much. I can listen to them while I do my own work while also feeling some sort of a kinship. I'm rambling now, but all that to say, thanks for sharing this as I think it will help others who have not learned yet how to navigate being introverts themselves. There's nothing wrong with not being a social butterfly, we're all different.
I'm glad that you're learning to accept you being an introvert and that you're sharing this experience online😀
Fellow introvert here, very much the same as you (although I did quite enjoy a party in my 20s, now the thought makes me shudder!) Small group of friends but very happy in my own company. I think social media does make it a lot easier, as you feel like you're getting social contact but without having to leave home or actually see anyone!!
Ha, this is true!!
After 13 years in a demanding extrovert's job I gave my notice two weeks ago. Tomorrow is my last day! The personal price is just too high for the pay. I'm 56 now. I sold my house and moved away from crazy Portland a year ago to a lovely small town on the coast in southern Oregon. Thanks to God and being able to work from home I'm going to pursue my art businesses online now and see where it goes. I'm at the beginning of a new chapter where I am free to be me for the first time ever. I can't waste another year trying not to be an introvert. I have always felt exactly as you've described in your wonderful video and in people's heartfelt comments here. It doesn't feel as lonely knowing I'm not alone in my thoughts and feelings. I used to have a lot of friends. Now just a very few, like you do. Thank you for sharing, my virtual friends! I appreciate you special people so much for being honest, deep, talented and kind! Your artwork is lovely too!
thank you for this video... now i know that im not alone of having a very few friends. There is a downside of having a few friends tho... when those friends is starting to leave you or doesn't talk to you anymore and it'll leave you having 1 or 2 friends or possibly no one... this is hard because especially as an introvert, its difficult to make new friends...
Yes, I can totally relate to this. When I was younger I was described as "shy", painfully shy. I am better about this today. While I can tolerate crowds it is exhausting. My work as a medical coder is solitary and my hobbies of art, philately and fountain pens are also solitary activities and I can count my closet friends on one hand. It is all okay I think. Thx for sharing.
I haven't watched the video yet.... but I have been learning lately about persons being in social situations, and coming out exhausted. Not me, but it gives me a new perspective. I am glad that you recognize the source of exhaustion, and can check out (have your solitude.) Good for you.
Thank you for sharing this. As an introvert myself I felt/feel as an outsider quite often. It helps to know that there are others out there like that. That this is normal too in a world that seems to be made for extroverts
Thank you for this video, it is rare to see someone this honest online. I am probably world’s most extreme introvert, I just can’t stand being around anyone for any amount of time. People, noises and music really irritates me, but also I am so shy that I can’t talk to people like in my university classes I can barely talk to my professors, and I never ever talk to my classmates. I have no friends at all, and I am very happy this way. People find it strange, but I don’t really care. I have never felt the need for human interaction and I absolutely loved lockdown and was devastated when it ended 😂! I have never been able to relate to people my age, and I guess its because I am not interested in small talk or “normal” interests at all. I love fountain pens, watercolors, painting and many other forms of creative art but I have never met anyone IRL who was interested in that. It seems a lot of young people now are only interested in drinking and s*x, neither of which I participate in at all. So I have nothing in common with these people. I have never been to a party or a nightclub. My parents took me out to a bar with live music and I asked them when we could leave every 10 minutes because I just couldn’t stand loud music and flashing lights. I also don’t like modern music as most of it seems to be dirty rap words and no talent, and I don’t like most modern TV shows, especially ones that “girls are supposed to like” as they all seem to be about drinking, dr*gs and s*x. The feelings I get after trying to watch such a show is disgust and disappointment as most of the characters seem to be so miserable. Also I really hate almost very celebrity. So I have nothing to talk about with other young people (unfortunately no one wants to discuss the shading and sheening properties of fountain pen ink with me 😣). Anyways, to summarize I’d rather be home chilling with my cats! I spend all my free time drawing with my favorite cat by my side, and I would pick this over any activity with any person! Sorry for the long comment, I never write RUclips comments, but just couldn’t resist commenting here.
Maybe you could join a fountain pen FB group?
Have you ever read the Bible? Times have changed through much through the decades - maybe you would find something more to relate to in ancient writings of the Creator.
I was devastated when the lockdown ended too. The world is too busy, too noisy. I relate to what you said about your university classes. I was exactly the same way but not because I wanted to be rude. I just never quite found a common footing with these people even though we were studying the same thing. :/
Loved your comments Violet Cat! Very honest, like Natasha. We're all different, & why not?! I don't even know who the celebrities are, when they're mentioned on TV! They' re just a bunch of shallow, hollow, human beings anyway; & who cares what they're doing? Keep being you! 😊❤
You are not alone. You could be describing me. Thank you for this post, elizabeth
I love the grace and courage in this video. I'm a social introvert who enjoys being with groups of people I know for a while, which is useful as a book coach and workshop leader, but I can only be social for a brief period of time before I have to seek out solitude and silence. Otherwise, I get impatient and short-tempered. I need stretches of quiet time to be creative, primarily as a writer but also with watercolors. And yes, I have a few close friends. Lots of people who know me (or think they do) but a few creative "sisters".
Thank you, Paula. A lot of this sounds very familiar. ;)
Your comment about being impatient and short-tempered when being in a crowd for too long, really hit home with me. I work in retail and it has come to the point where I've asked my manager to keep my shifts under 6 hours. It's my absolute limit and I'm probably stretching it a bit too far
@@lonedoyle2018 Yes, that would do me in. I can be oh so gracious and encouraging and helpful...to a point. Then, get out of the way and let me get back to my cave. 🤣
Pondering -~ what is a "book coach" ?
You’ve basically described me in a nutshell! Thank you for posting this, I don’t feel so much of a loner now! I have been hurt by ‘best friendships’ throughout my life and I’ve learnt that I’m happier with much fewer, trusted people in my close circle. As far as social media goes, I avoid Facebook like the plague and much prefer to belong to our little community here and on Patreon. I know that I feel happy and safe here among like-minded people. Thank you for being so honest in this video, it’s been very comforting to watch. Much love, Jo x
Me too... That's me....my friend a few but the ones I have are true ones.. I love this video.... I love my art...
I adore my Boys.. And my Grandchildren....
I love my life just as it is... 😘🙏
Thank you so much for sharing your story. As an introvert I can totally relate. ❤
You are SO normal! Sometimes it’s not even because we’re introverts. Studies show as we age, our friend circle gets smaller, but our quality of friends increases. This is especially true when you don’t have children to force you to befriend other parents (as is my case). This is a great video, but know everything you express is relatable and healthy. Sending love from afar and kudos for being in sync and authentic.
Hi Natasha! I am very much an introvert and generally tend to have 2 close friends rather than a large social group. As I have gotten older my social anxiety has gotton worse and I really struggle to form new friendships. A few years ago my two closest friends moved to different countries and started families. That's when I discovered youtube and it changed my life completely. I felt I was connected to other like minded people even if they had no idea I existed, which inspired me to start my own youtube channel this year. I hope I can make a small difference to someone out there! Like the youtubers I follow did for me during quite a difficult time.
Your thoughts and feelings resonate with me. Thank you for being so open and honest. I am also an INFJ. Also introverted.I have 1 extremely close friend and several friends. I thrive having alone time. Also tried for a long time to change because I felt something was wrong with me. Im now 54 and am at a point now where I am embracing who I am. Living authentically . For a very long time I was only able to have online connection with my friends. I lived far away from them. Imoved back close to them a year ago. We still do not see each other a lot.
My other friends have large group of friends and I don’t feel like I fit in them.
In past year I’ve really grabbed onto my authentic self .
I think not having too many is the better way for me because people are rough sometimes! Art is my best friend(my dogs too)I’ve been accused of being a hermit as I also can’t stand more than 2 in a conversation at once!.I’m so glad you’re talking about this because some people call it lonely or empty but for me ( like you) I really exactly the very same way in my need and desire for company and mingling and for this reason I also don’t really socialize or trust a lot of people unless they make it impossible for me to not trust them! My very best friend passed 3 mos ago and it was and rough as there aren’t too many I knew and loved as much as her! I think as artists we don’t have a huge hole inside to fill inside as the creativity and pleasure fills all those holes and don’t leave a lot of room for others. I could go on and on and I’m right there 100%🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I grew up in the 90's, where we were allowed to just be kids without all the BS... but it was also a time where " clicks " or " groups of kids " were categorized and lumped into a label of who they were... IE- jocks, geeks, popular, stoners, etc etc. Now iam not saying this to brag, but I had a pretty large circle of friends in High school, and we were the most popular group in my high school. My girlfriend at that time ( my high school sweetheart) was from or rival school and she was literally the most popular girl at her high school. We were together for 8 years and had extremely large groups of friends together, and we socialized with everyone. I was literally friends with everyone... I got along with everyone, I never judged anyone. That's why I was so popular, but also because I was well known in my area. I was actually sponsored for skateboarding by the end of tenth grade. I won many skateboarding competitions and I skateboarded with pro skateboarders BAM morjera, Kerry getts, Ricky Iola and Clyde singleton. They were all " celebrities " in Philadelphia and the northeast area. BAM actually became Hollywood famous with the show jackass. I knew BAM before he was on that show tho... not while he was. But anyways, long story short... I ended up in a horrible car accident where I almost was not here anymore. I broke both lags, ribs, arm, collar bone, wrist and I had 4 fractures in my skull... which would completely end my skateboarding career very very early. I had to be air lifted by helicopter to a hospital, where I was struggling to survive. After 2 long years I would be " healed " and I still had a very very large circle of friends. When we would go out to clubs or bars, we would have atleast 10 cars with 35 or more people that would kinda just take over the places we went. Tons and tons of photos plastered all over MySpace... yeah OG myspace 😆 🤣 That lasted through our 20's and we would all eventually end up getting houses, getting married, having kids, or have our careers, etc etc..... you know, growing up lol. I had become a chemist for Dow chemical company, and I would be there for 14 years. I was extremely fortunate to be successful and to make very good money. I had a kid and ended up following my dreams and opened up my own Art studio and Bindery. Not only wad I good at skateboarding, surfing, snowboarding and was popular... but i always excelled beyond exceptional at art. I would draw and paint through my whole life, i won almost every art contest i entered throughout school and high school. I still have my handful of best friends that I grew up with from that " popular group " in high school, but we don't see each other that much because we all have been successful and are very busy with carees and our families. Now that iam a bit older, I just sink all my time into my art, bookbinding, and my son. Iam very close with my family and that's about it. Life has a funny way of working out, but as everyone gets older and more mature... you learn your true purposes. Some are forever lost and roaming around, which is very unfortunate. but we all learn what's really important in everyone's own unique life. I am extremely fortunate to have the life that i had/have.. I do beyond well and have everything I ever wanted. now my art and my family are what iam focused on, my legacy instead of " popularity " and a raging social life. I care more about my family than ever... I have weeded out the bad and toxic people in my life... including my ex wife lol. All in all, we all find our own way and our group of friends get smaller and smaller. Life is a gift that must not be wasted, and art is a gift for all life to enjoy. Sorry that I rambled, but I wanted to share just a tiny bit of me... because you were so kind to share with us Natasha. Thank you for your vids... they do make alot of people happy, and you bring joy to people's day... whether you realize that or not. Thank you 😊
Hi Natasha, I’m an introvert and I totally understand you. I have 4 boys and just my youngest lives with me. I am a loner and no friends it saddens me at times, but I have a good family. I can’t get around much due to spinal problems. I also suffer with anxiety and depression and do like to be on my own at times and wish I just had one friend that would be great for me but can’t cope with many people. I too have trust issues as i too have been hurt, used and took advantage of. This was a great video Natasha and great to hear your experiences with relationships. Sending you lots of love 💗 xxx
I used to have a lot of friends. I make friends very easily even though I am an introvert. It helps having a career in the arts because you meet many like yourself. However, Covid really made me aware of how draining it could be (plus I have a significant heart issues so catching Covid would be bad news). And I've also had some bad past relationships that were very one sided or with very competitive types. I've moved back to my home city and even though I have a lot of friends here I rarely go out of my way to see anyone anymore. I have a few close friends, one especially that we generally do some form of pep texting each day. I like my own company too. I also spent years without a significant other so I was used to it and travelling alone. Now I'm better at saying no or just not getting into a situation in the first place that makes me uncomfortable and feeling like I have to be polite and go through the motions. Now it's mostly myself or myself and my husband.
It's truly funny that you have posted this video today. I have been thinking about this topic for a while now, because (in the spirit of your honest video about this) I don't really have friends. At all (I have one person I see from time to time, but they're busy with their own social life/work/etc). I had someone in my life, who was very toxic and basically stripped me of the ability to talk to people over the years. It's a big hurdle to me to jump across to even leave a comment. I often get the feeling of doing something wrong because of that, but then I know that I can't handle large groups of people in any case (I'm autistic). I like more the personal friendship that doesn't just scrape the surface level as well. It's less draining and tiring.
I also don't think online friendships are in any way less valuable than "real life" friendships. You said it, there are people behind the avatars, behind the words, and those are real, aren't they? When I was younger I was an avid gamer girl and had lots of online friends and some even were so close to me, they got me through some really hard times and I'll be forever grateful for their presence in my life even when those connections have long since faded away.
It's hard to maintain friendships when you don't see each other every day at school/work and mine have just never lasted and I don't know why (people just tend to drop me like a hot potato lol). I'm 100% certain I'm not the only one who's experienced this lack of having people around. I guess I and everyone else who's in the same boat, just haven't found the right people yet and I'm sure they'll show up at one point.
Thank you for this video, Natasha. It's important in these crazy times of social media, etc, to let people know that they don't have to be the social butterflies they don't want to be. Lots of virtual hugs to everyone!
PS: I do hope this didn't come across as a pity party. That's not my intention. I just wanted to chime in and I sometimes don't find the right words and come across as weird. :)
I'm also on the spectrum as is my husband. Thank you for sharing. xo
What you've written here is so interesting, thank you so much for sharing your experiences. Thank you for taking the time to comment and for adding your valuable opinions and voice to the conversation. I'm sorry that you've been treated so badly by someone. You're way stronger than they'll ever be.
@@NatashaNewtonArt Thank you so much!
This talk was so helpful. I only came to these realizations later in life and had much to struggle through as I worked in careers that were very far from my need to be an artist and my need to spend time alone. I will book- mark this video to keep to play for others or to listen again and learn to better articulate my lifestyle needs that so those that seem not to be able to fathom my nature might better understand. I have even less friends than you as I too have difficulty with small talk and my interest not average it seems. (I had better luck once I switched to a field that was related to psychiatry and psychology as I met deeper thinkers in my coworkers, But I only realized I was an artist ( although I always fantasized that I could have the time to be one but had thought it was not possible) about a year before the pandemic and am working as a caregiver in a part of the city that is isolated so I have no friends at all currently, just acquaintances and the patients I care for. I have only recently had time to again focus on my art and have much to do as far as building my social media but I hope to gain some friendships with other artist. I may very well consider your patreon as It sounds to be a special group of people ( like you)
You are not alone.
I have redefined "friends" over the years. As a result my circle of "friends" has diminished considerably.
I am not concerned.
My "close" friends" are far away. But, if in need, they would be there.
I wonder how many artists are this way. I know I am
I think there are more than we know; I have a feeling it's quite common.
Art is created in those moments alone when you're enjoying your own company🥰
I am exactly the same way, good to know I'm not alone!
Same💓
Fellow artist and introvert. Love my family when I can see them. And my grown adult children. I have my animals ❤️ 🙏
100% agree with you, Natasha! I was in a team building event at work one time where the group was separated into introverts and extroverts. The facilitator asked each group what they would like to know about the other group. My introverted group wanted to know why the other group felt the need to talk all the time and verbalize any thought in their heads.. in short, why can’t you be quiet? The extroverts wanted to know why we couldn’t just express what we were feeling.. why can’t you speak up?. Ahhh.. there’s the crux of it. To me, sites like Facebook are populated with over-sharers… I don’t care what you had for lunch yesterday or that it’s the second anniversary of your cat’s eye infection. On the other hand, I LOVE seeing someone (like you) who genuinely shares their art and feelings. I look forward to you relating both so honestly on RUclips and Patreon and am proud to support you the best way I can. Cheers to you, Natasha! ❤️ You’re a brave soul.
I absolutely love this Vlog Natasha!! I am the same and completely understand the comments so far. I think people are a little confused by me, because I am anything but shy, quite confident actually and I know myself well and my limitations and needs. I don't care to socialize in groups... but give me a thoughtful one-on-one conversation with almost anyone, any day of the week!! and loads of time to do my art. Yet, I love solo travelling because it's easy to meet interesting people... curious right? btw, I am 65 years old and an introvert (which I figured out 20 years ago during a serious bout of depression). Bless you Natasha for 'coming out' in such a gentle manner... you are blessing for my heart.
That's very interesting, thank you Michele. ♡
I find it amazing that your video showed up on my feed. I feel all of the emotions that you described. Currently, I have one very close friend. She lives at the other end of the state so we do not see each other, but talk once a month or so. I have another close friend who also lives a distance away, but who is difficult to respect due to his politically and socially hateful opinions which we do not discuss. I have always had a very small number of friends. As I have aged, and had a number of traumatic experiences, I see that I have chosen to eliminate people from my life as a way of protecting myself. Sometimes I become lonely, but in general, I prefer the quiet and calm of my own company. Any upsets to that quiet can cause me a fair amount of anxiety and drain my energy. I too, used to believe that I was odd and that there was something wrong with me, especially because I have always been very easily moved to tears. I have learned that I am simply very sensitive. I can sense others emotion’s and those emotions can easily become my own. Which is exhausting. Some people say that I am empathic. There is only one person on the planet who has ever understood this about me.
Thank you for sharing this video. 💖
Thank you for being so honest. It really helps others accept themselves.
Oh, I can absolutely relate 100% Natasha. I find groups of people exhausting. Had 1 friend from the start of school and she and I are still friends, close friends...now for 44 years already. When I was still presenting art workshops at a local art shop, the workshop would be from 9h00 till 12h30 on 1 x Saturday a month. After such a workshop I felt extremely drained and needed to sleep and recharge when I got home. At that moment in time, I also worked half day at the art shop. I enjoyed helping colleagues and clients with art-related stuff as it is a great passion of mine, however, when I got home, I needed alone time to recuperate. I prefer to have a very small friendship circle, people I hold close and dear to my heart as I tend to put a lot of myself into my friendships. I love my alone time and enjoy my own company tremendously. My husband always says that I am a true hermit as I am not even bothered to go to the shops.😆 I am not a great fan of shopping, however, the only shopping I truly enjoy is art shopping 😍 It is absolutely wonderful that you are embracing your personality, that is what makes each of us truly unique and special. 🌼💟🌼 Leana
I would say I’m an extroverted introvert. When I’m in a social setting I’m affable and talkative with everyone. I dislike quiet in social situations, but oddly prefer quiet and solitude in anything else. I have a close group of 7 friends I’ve known since my childhood. We are a friend group cumulatively, and We’ve stayed close in all ebbs and flows of life. How “close” we are and who we lean on independently within that group can change depending on our own personal current experiences, but there’s no envy and very very little infighting. I don’t feel the need for more friends, and I no longer actively seek friendships. And while we have active communication over text chain, we don’t see each other more than once every month or so. The time that I have to myself is precious, though/ and I feel that I need that solitude and quiet to keep my spirit thriving. But I couldn’t live without my friends and the value they bring to my life. We often joke that come senior citizen time we will pool our money, buy a property and live together like The Golden Girls.
I agree I am very social in public, very funny - people say - but I can only be with people for a while but then I need to retreat. I like to be alone. 80% I need to be alone. Helen x
This is how I see myself too. I have very few close friends and love my own company but when in a social situation I can be social and interact with others quite well but I feel that it is more “acting” social than feeling social. Rowan Atkinson is a very private and introverted person but can act extremely well for stage and screen. This resonates with me so much.
When you become senior citizens ...
That sounds like a WONDERFUL idea ...pooling your money together & buying a larger home & living together...you could live like Queens ~ Goddesses. A media room for movie nights, an English garden, a library, an exercise room - hire a sexy male trainer, a swimming pool, a detached mother in law apartment - for when you needed meditation time, absolute peace & quiet or time alone. It would be heaven on earth. I wish I felt THAT close to THAT many women to do that !
This totally spoke to me. I for one have zero friends, don't have the desire or need for any. I'm very much dedicated to my children, husband, home, home-schooling, art, pets and hobbies. I don't have the time for anyone else lol. I absolutely understand when you talk about art being your life, it does take a huge amount of our time and it is worth every second.
I already adore you, but this video just further enhanced my opinion of you. Thank you for speaking up for all of us introverts. In the past I have tried to "conform" and all I ever accomplished was making myself miserable. I'm learning its ok to march to the beat of my own drum but am still often filled with self-doubt and left thinking "whats wrong with me"? Despite being an introvert, I do like people and enjoy the company of some and many people seem to really like me....and yet I really don't have friends either and really don't know why. But to be fair I often decline invitations because I get social anxiety but truthfully I also decline because I very much enjoy my own company. I have the most fun with me. I like me most of the time. I get along with me. But I do also think that makes me odd and sometimes resent myself for it because I think I must be missing out on something. I don't know...I'm rambling but throughout your whole video I found myself nodding my head and saying "me too". So thank you for so eloquently sharing what its like to be "us". I wouldn't want you to change a thing about yourself...you're gorgeous, intelligent, thoughtful, wildly talented, and your videos always make me feel really special. The way you present and share your work feels incredibly intimate in a way that always makes me feel lucky to been a witness to it. You somehow make me feel important as if you are trusting me with something very rare and special. Yes, you have a gift. But the way you share your gift transforms you into the gift for the rest of us. Thank you for being Natasha Newton. We need more Natasha Newton's in this world.
Thank you for such a kind comment! It's amazing how many of us feel this way - I'm going through the comments section this morning reading all of the responses and I'm blown away by how similar so many of us are. We're definitely not alone in feeling like this! I really appreciate your comment, thank you again.
Thank you both
Yes, I'm an introvert! I enjoy my own company, and spend most days doing my art. I'm not very good at social events - I go to them occasionally, but then think about how soon I can leave without being too obvious about it.
On to coloured pencils, I've tried all sorts, but, like you, Luminance and Lightfast are my favourites. In the past three years I've been buying open stock Luminance and just this week completed my collection of all 100. I've got about 30 Lightfast, and a few Holbeins.
I love your artistic style and want to say thank you for all your RUclips videos - I really enjoy watching and listening - you have a very soothing voice!
Thank you very much for sharing this video. I felt so healed this morning listening to you. I am exactly, exactly the same. I have three best friends: one from middle school, one from university and my husband. I see my husband every day, of course, but I don’t see the other two very often. (And one of these two passed away last year from accident.) But I am so happy to have them in my life. I like people and I am a curious person but I need to be in a small happy world of my own to protect my soul.
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, Yuiko. Sending love.
Thank you very much. I am so sorry too.
I spend most of my 20s making a big group of friends and being out every weekend. With years I realized that I was very afraid to be on my own and that having friends gave some sort of social validation… now im on my mid 30s, and I’ve cut most of my friendships either because of time or because of me having zero patience with attitudes and behaviors that now I see are triggering and toxic. What I’ve learned is that you can feel very lonely surrounded by many people and you can feel supported and loved on your own. I have friends and I love them but I love to say that I am my own best friend.
I LOVE what you've written here, Francisco! Thank you for sharing. It resonates a lot with me. Particularly: "...zero patience with attitudes and behaviors that now I see are triggering and toxic". That is exactly how I am now. I used to be fooled in the past. I'm not fooled by people any longer. I see it and recognise it when they behave in this way and I have no time for it.
Bravo, this is a wonderful conclusion you came to.
Wow.. impatience with behaviors and attitudes... describes me to a T. ...I have lear my ed to say to myself,"I am better than this."
I'm 72 and spend so much time alone. I try to do better at it but it doesn't work. I don't manage larger groups of women because I can't relate. I never married or have children. Those are the things women seem to talk about and I can't share. I never intended my life to be that way. I spend most of the holidays including my birthday alone. Because of this I have to fight off depression. The times in my life when my creativity takes the center of my life I feel a little better. Finding the fb groups and now youtube has helped me to feel like I have finally found people who have similar Interests as mine. I'm extremely friendly but I'm still by myself. I'm dealing with it. Don't know if I'm getting any closer to finding an answer but I'm hoping to create some art along the way. I love your channel. Very inspiring!
As a neurodiverse introverted immigrant I am proud of having one good friend (we live in different countries though). Anyways I prefer animals. I don't ever feel need to spend time in an environment with other people around. It drains my very little energy completely.
I love being around animals. Far less complicated than humans! ;)
I am exactly the same, immigrant in UK, neurodiverse, introvert, really don't feel like I fit in. One or two friends.... pressure from outside world is enormous, expectations.... I like my peace and quiet...more and more.....
You’re definitely not alone, crowds are hard work but I’m not as badly affected as you are. I do understand how past experiences inform one’s behaviour, it’s hard to trust when you have a history of being let down.
Amazing and brave video to put out there. Personally, as a people pleaser from childhood, I love my own company and that is where I am the most ath peace and my truest self. But I also really love being with people. I guess it’s got something to do with the people pleasing element, because while I prefer being alone I do enjoy the company of others because it does give me a rush of energy. However it does drain me. I think it’s a combination of both introvert and extrovert I guess. I’m so happy for you that you found your harmonious friendship number and I’m sorry for any hardships in past friendships that you’ve had.They can scar you very deeply for a very long time
I loved that you opened up about this. I seem to know a lot of people, but only have a few close friends. I don't get to see them that often, but when we do it is the best time! I was transferred to a new place for my job. I don't really care for this city so I have only made a few friends. That's one of the reasons why I took up watercolor. It makes me happy and I can spend time by myself without feeling alone. Groups of people stress me out. I'm the shy one at the party and may connect with one or two others. That's it. I'd rather observe. I don't like being the center of attention whatsoever. All in all, I don't need to have a lot of friends to be happy. I can be introverted, entertain myself, and be content. I'm close with my family, but I don't get to see them often. I'm too far away.
I’m grand going out dancing or to concerts as long as I don’t have to interact with anyone. Or at least I used to be, before the pandemic. I guess even as introverts, we’re all a bit different.
Thanks for making this video. It’s nice to find a comment section full of fellow introverts 😊
You could have been talking about me all the way through this including the friendship let-downs, trust issues, comparisons to others even though they're not living lives I really want. Like you I felt I was out of place/wrong as a child/teen/20something and it wasn't until my mid to late thirties when I realised I could stop 'performing' in every social situation and just embrace the way I am. When Covid came along the world suddenly seemed moulded to my preferred way of being for a while and it was liberating to feel that constant performative pressure drop away. You've articulated it really well and there are definitely a fair few of us out there, it's just that we're all quietly doing our thing which inevitably can feel like we're the only ones!
Thank you for this gentle and loving video. In a world where we are constantly bombarded with images, comparisons, and superficial messages, it is encouraging to hear from others that they long for deep, meaningful relationships and life experiences. I am very much an introvert and relate to all you shared. Thank you! I wish you many blessings.
Sister introvert here. I prefer to be alone than in a crowd. What you shared in this video resonates with me. ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing with us!!!! I would probably be considered an extrovert by my friends however…I am somewhat of a hobbit…I live in the environment of my church family…and have many lovely friends ,but like you…only a handful that I am close to. For me, the perfect get together would be a Very small and quiet one with lots of laughing . I hope I have not totally confused you…lol…love and smiles in Jesus🥰 P.S. I have introverted friends….and Tho they do not speak as much as others do, when they DO speak…I listen because I know they have thought about whatever they are about to share…in short…my opinion is that many introverts are deep thinkers.
A lot of your story resonates very deeply. I am definitely a massive introvert and a homebody. I've always struggled with friendships and I think that is down to a couple of different reasons. Firstly, I was bullied as a kid which made me withdraw and think that there was something wrong with me. And secondly, I too have trust issues due to a few friendships that just ended badly. So now my circle is very very tiny and I think I like it that way. I think I like the idea of having a big circle more than I do actually having that big circle. And that is purely for the reason that I love my own company and spending time on my art. Whereas, as you said, friendships do take time and effort. Friendships take showing up consistently, especially when they are with people living in the same area as you. Most of my close friends live further away so it is not so weird when either of us disappears for a while. But I know we always make time to catch up when the opportunity arises. I also believe online communities can be spaces where friendships blossom, especially in this day and age. It makes me think of penpals back in the day. But, I, like you, often wonder how to move those friendships into the real world rather than the virtual only. But they definitely fulfill me in a similar way as real-life friendships. Thank you for sharing it!
100% relate! I think a lot of it stems from my childhood where we were not allowed to have friends to come round to play, and our parents not having any friends either. I was a child with a very outgoing and boisterous personality, and I don't think my parents knew how to deal with it after having a very quiet and insular set of twins before me. As a result, I was told to be quiet ALL the time, so I basically grew up with a personality that I wasn't born with. It's affected me in many ways that I only really discovered 40+ years later.
Since getting older, and moving away from my very small group of trusted friends, I have made no new friends in a new country. I did try hard for the first few years after moving here to make some connections but none of it stuck. Partly due to culture differences, having no kids, small town living, etc. It was worse than dating and such hard work. I have much better connections with people online, but probably if faced with having to meet up in person I'd make up an excuse and back out of it just to avoid the experience and stress of it all. I used to go through very deep bouts of depression from loneliness during my 20's through mid 30's, but now I am used to it and it doesn't bother me anymore. I probably annoy my husband by talking too much some days, but he puts up with it. ;) I didn't find Covid lockdowns a problem since I had prepared all my life for it. Hah!
Same, I was fine and dandy doing my paintings and watching Netflix during lockdown whereas the pub crowd here were going crazy.
I only recently realized this about myself. My parents didn’t have any friends (looking back I think they were both exhausted and depressed) and whenever I tried to have friends come to our house, my parents acted very annoyed and put out. So I just stopped having friends over and spent time by myself in my bedroom. And of course as a kid if you stop having your friends around, nobody wants to be friends with you. It was a vicious cycle. I was shy to begin with and still am. Now in my 40s I have zero friends. The only people I speak to are my coworkers (because I *have* to!) and husband.
I too am an expat. I retired during the lockdown & am feeling a bit pathetic and isolated. But I have chronic pain & fatigue & just don‘t think I have the stamina to nurture new relationships. I am a true introvert as well, so there‘s that! 😂
@@bubblemonkeyx We have such similar scripts. Because of my personality being beat out of me I became extremely shy and still am now. I can put on an act and look outgoing and friendly, but deep down I just want to stay at home forever.
@@SN-sz7kw I hear you! I have developed long term chronic illnesses so the idea of having to explain it all to anyone just puts me off and would put off any new friend, I am sure!
It does make you feel even more isolated and pathetic in another country, doesn't it? No matter how long I have been here, it still will never be home.
I don't have any friends. Sometimes it makes me feel sad, but most of the time I enjoy my own company.
Love this authentic video💕. I am also an INFJ. Learning my personality type along with the unconditional acceptance and love I receive from knowing Jesus has made me very at peace with the way that I am wired and created. I believe as an artist being an introvert and enjoying alone time is a huge advantage for me. Along with preferring more time alone than being social, I am hyper sensitive to my surroundings (people, places, nature, etc) which I have found helps me interpret and express what I am sensing, seeing, feeling through my art. I feel like a conduit quit often, hope that made sense. I just want to say, do not try to change how you were created, you are beautiful just the way you are and very much loved. I am so happy that I found your channel and would love to be your online friend😁
Thanks Becky 😊 I to am an Intrevert! And I seem that no one understands 😕 and I to hope too be friends, take care ❤️ David
I am not an introvert, I am very extroverted but I still don’t have many friends. Part of this is I have more niche interests so I didn’t find people who would share those interests. Also because of trauma, I didn’t prioritize my friendships.
Oh I can relate to so much of your commentary! I always thought I was weird because I preferred quiet and spending time alone. I never have felt at ease in a large group of people, and the more loud and obnoxious behavior there was, the more I couldn’t wait to escape the situation. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and reminding us we are not alone 😊 and your artwork is lovely ❤️
Thank you for expressing your feelings and allowing other people to feel courageous enough to realize they are ok too! I’m 59 and have felt the same way of not quite ‘fitting in’…..my entire life until very recently I have tried, but have realized I actually like myself very much and really don’t feel the need to explain or justify to anyone anymore. I have one friend that I’ve known for 50 years and consider her more my sister than friend. I love spending time finding new ways to become more creative and learning new things. Pets are also lovely to connect with as well….that is truly unconditional love 💗
That's odd! It seemed that you were the voice in my head my entire life. Thank you for your transparency. You popped up today from the algorithm and I am so thankful as I love to dabble in watercolor, among other things. I enjoy people and hanging with my family, but I feel a true sense of peace when I am alone, creating. Hopefully one day, my full time job will be as an artist. I have one friend, which I am thankful for. By the way, I love the color of your nail polish. Your art is such a great discovery on YT.
I cane across your clip by sheer chance. Every single word you said and feeling you shared resonated do deeply with me. It's as if I was looking in a mirror. I struggle with all the same feelings for all the same reasons. I am 52, I have 4 close friends and it's just me, no husband, no kids etc. I struggle with chronic lonliness, not because I want loads of friends but because I seek the deep connection you were describing. It just seems so hard to find these days. And as you get older it's even more challenging to 'find your people' because I feel like they all have their own lives and circles. For so long I've felt so left out. I value depth in people, not quantity. I too love my art and im trying to dip my toes into posting online but im very shy. I've been badly scorched by online 'friends' in the past.
I can't thank you enough for posting this, as well as your amazing artwork. It explained what I can't express myself.
I live alone and spend most of my days alone and if you ever feel like reaching out, I would love to have you as much friend. Wonderful clip. I shall subscribe ❤️🙏
Thank you, Annette! It's so interesting to hear your experiences. I'm sorry to hear that you've had a bad time with online friends in the past. As in 'real-life' we have to be careful who we befriend, I guess. x
As an introvert myself, and my partner an extrovert, I would feel guilty not wanting to "go out" everyday as he wanted to do. He would get upset and it even caused a few breakups but he always came back. Now I am more secure with myself to just say No and NOT feel guilty. It is perfectly normal and healthy. He has come to accept me just the way I am and we both respect each other for it. Thank you so much for validating our existence and jut reinforcing the fact that yes, we are all normal in our own right! Beautiful artwork as usual!! (I am LOVING the A. Gallo paints!) ❤️
I just found your channel. I am an introvert and have had experiences like you where it's left me with trust issues. I have a couple close friends that I spend my time with and a few that I see on special occasions and holidays. I spend a lot of my time by myself and people have a hard time understanding that it's something I truly enjoy and need to restore myself. I'm really glad I found your channel and thank you for sharing!
Thank you sharing Natasha. I'm 100% with you and just like yourself. Ever since I realize how introverted I truly am, many years ago, and learned who I truly am as an introverted man, I limited my friendships and social life. I have just one really good friend. Living a single life with the bare minimum of social interaction has lowered my stress levels to almost zero and my quality of life has become heavenly. I always leave a small gap in the social door just in case a true friend wants to walk in. Being a single man, introverted and self dependant has given me the value of inner peace. My art gives me the solitude I love and the one friend gives me just enough interaction to feel included. Thank you again for sharing. You are not alone. X
Oh my goodness, this video was a breath of fresh air. Thank you for being so honest. I would consider myself to be an introvert. I work in retail and am surrounded by people several hours a day but I absolutely hate it. I don't really have any close friends. I have one person I've known since I was 16 (I'm almost 52) and we text occasionally but no one I would say I could talk to. I have definitely become more introverted as I've aged and am generally happy in my own company...though I must admit it would be nice to have a close friend to chat to sometimes.
❤
Same
I feel like you were narrating for me as I was relating so much to what you said. Speaking of friends, I am about to head out the door to meet up with my dear friend (like you, I only have a handful of friends). I’m helping her turn two special vases into lamps, and we’re going wedding shopping (her son is getting married next year). Anyway, I will come back later and share some more, deeper thoughts. It’s truly lovely to connect with you! 🤗
Im so glad you're bringing a light to this topic. We live in a world dominated by extroverts and are always seen as the odd ones out, or having something wrong with us, when there's nothing wrong at all, we're just different. I am an introvert with even fewer friends than you and am completely contented with that. Thank you for speaking about this.
This so resonates with me. When I started doing art I pulled away from people and went inside. I have sometimes feel guilty for not being social but it’s like art is the majority of my world and then I want to go into nature for a break rather than with people. My life used to be the opposite way. Thanks for making me feel normal lol.
Wow! Thank you for your bravery in sharing this! I feel so similar to what you describe. I have found that making new friends is more difficult the older I get. And friendships are not like when I was a child or even like the friendships I had in my 20’s, I think in part because our interests change and we get busy with family, raising children, our careers, etc. I think its great you are enjoying your online friendships! I enjoy mine and find them fulfilling, except for that I love to meet out and hug my friends at times… this I miss! Thank you again for your honesty and vulnerability in sharing! Btw- I love that pale aqua! Is it a mix of yours?
Thank you! The pale aqua is in the A Gallo 'Blues Palette', it's called Copper Blue. :)
Thank you! It’s beautiful!!
I have no idea why this came up in my RUclips feed but I thought I would give it a listen. I am also a very creative person, now in my 70s. During my life I have seen and experienced much, but what I appreciate most is my own space and time. I have a lovely family and two good friends, who understand me to a T, however they also know I would be there 100% for them if they needed me and the reverse is true too. I have always maintained that you must work at friendships and it does require commitment. However I sincerely love being a true director of my own life now. Lovely paintings by the way.
I totally agree with you about small talk. I would much rather have deep, meaningful conversations more than surface level interaction. I too have very few friends, and most of them live very far away. Having an online community helps not to feel totally lonely, but I still need personal interaction once in a while to feel whole. Being an introvert doesn't mean you always need to be alone. It's just a different way of seeing life! I love hanging out with other introverts because they totally get it :)
AGREE, AGREE, AGREE! :)
I used to be an extrovert. Current political atmosphere here changed all that. I am now happiest when I am alone. I enjoy the quiet & tranquility. I enjoy your videos so much because your soft, calm voice soothes me as much as your art work.
Thanks Beth. I can relate to this too.
Wow, you are describing very much of how *I* am❗️ I don’t get *why* the majority of people feel the need to constantly ‘chase’ action. I think ‘we’ are just deeper-minded people & that makes you more solid & calm(?). Who knows, it’s just comforting to hear there are others like *me* ❣️
Thank you for sharing your feelings. That in itself takes courage. I am the exact same. I have never been at ease in social situations, and I’ve never had many friends. When I was younger, I thought there was something wrong with me because all of my “friends’ would just talk about themselves and I was always the listener, which is ok, but exhausting. This hit home with me when I had a meet up with a friend from high school and I was happy to be reconnecting with her. When we got together all she did was talk about herself and her life, she never even asked about how I was doing. It was so one sided. Plus after she was done talking, I didn’t feel like she was genuinely interested in me. It’s tough making friends and I genuinely find most people exhausting. I would much rather be alone. I have been blessed later in life with two really good girlfriends and a husband that “gets” me and understands me- he is the exact opposite, he has friends for miles- but we understand each other . I have accepted my oddness and that’s ok. Your art is beautiful and you inspire me.
I can totally relate to everything you’ve said in this video! I’m the same, I have to have my own company and my own space, I have social anxiety general anxiety and I am incredibly uncomfortable and upset in busy, loud places. I think that’s part of the reason I love art so much because it’s my own private quiet time
I'm an introvert and an extrovert. It depends on the situation. But honestly, I hate drama so that is why I stay to myself most of the times. Great video. You are not alone.
Thanks for making this! It’s definitely relatable. I have one close friend that I’ve had for almost twenty years. We support each other with everything. I do often wish I had more friends, but as you mentioned, I can’t just walk up to them and ask if they want to play lol
The fact that I’m pretty sensitive to sound and sudden loud noises makes going to places to meet people very difficult. I do my best, and I generally rely on my job to give that bit of social interaction that I need. Any other time, I’ll be found alone, working on my hobbies or listening to music
Thank you for sharing this. I used to have a lot of friends & I was very social but then I moved an hour away, got married and became very ill & housebound. Sadly now I have no true friends - I have friends that check in once a year but I would have hoped my friends would be closer when I'm going through a hard time with my health so I find that really hard. My husband is my best friend but I would love to have a friend who was close enough to be in contact at least once a week for a catchup even if it's just by text. It was nice for you to make this as I feel less alone. Thank you
What a brilliant video. Thank you for giving a voice to the experience of others.
In big groups, I'm very introverted but amongst my friends and family, I'm much more of an extrovert. I never feel I fit in in groups but amongst friends, I feel I can be silly and playful and strange because they accept me as I am.
I prefer deeper conversations and hate surface level conversations. I prefer quiet and nature and contemplation and observation to the noise of groups. I feel like im neither an introvert nor an extrovert but a blend of the 2. And as I get older I'm much more comfortable with that and feel less and less need to 'fit in'.
Thank you Natasha, I'm listening while I'm painting. Makes me confident and relaxed at the same time.
I just love you and this is one reason why. You are just so real, so calming, watching your art process just makes me happy-it makes me want to paint! You were (ironically) one of my first “Art friends” because you were one of the first YT artists running on my iPad while I painted in the pandemic. Thank you! To your Q: I’m an extrovert, but I also have three best friends (two of whom live distant), and an introvert husband who is the ultimate best friend. I love learning about introversion as part of loving and living with an introvert. If you haven’t read the book Quiet, you might really love it! It helped me understand him much more thoroughly. ❤️🤗👍
I’m not shy. In my life I’ve done a lot of public performance, drama and singing, and enjoyed it immensely. In a debate or a rousing discussion, I’m quite happy to voice my opinion. But, despite these seemingly extrovert qualities, I’m definitely an introvert. I have only three close friends. I need LOTS of time alone to recharge and re-energise. I dread large social occasions and find them absolutely exhausting. It’s taken decades for me to realise and accept my introversion. Thank you for sharing what is a very relatable story……a part from the fine arts aspect! That’s definitely NOT my strength. I am an awesome gift wrapper though; I take ages doing one present and they always look so pretty. Does that garner me artistic credits? 😊
I can relate so much to this. I also have major trust issues because of how people have betrayed me, hurt me, abandoned me, etc. It does make it extremely difficult to have real friendships even though I really want to sometimes. But it’s also hard to not only find someone you can trust, but someone who understands your need for space sometimes.
THIS! x
Your comments resonated with me so deeply it was almost as if I were listening to myself!
Thank you for sharing. I’m an introvert and can totally relate. Now that I’m older, I find that I’m more honest and don’t care to please other people any more. But I have always been the type of person that doesn’t mind going somewhere alone. I have a demanding job that requires me to care and give a lot to others and I find myself drained at the end of each day. Art helps keep me grounded. I have one close friend and a friend from high school who lives far but we message often. I really don’t love going out to clubs or anything like that. Many years ago I remember going with a group of women that I knew to Las Vegas and we were in a club and I thought to myself, “why am I here?” Lol 😂 it was awful. I wouldn’t say that I’m lonely, though I spend a lot of time alone. I’m very distrustful of others and find many people to be very self-serving and selfish. I honestly enjoy being alone now and not having to deal with other people’s drama. I have no desire to find a romantic partner anymore. I don’t want to have to deal with caring for anyone else. It sounds awful, I know. But I prefer to live in peace.
What a lovely video, Natasha. I think of myself as shy and an introvert…yet I’ve worked in media sales my entire adult life. So no one who knows me would probably believe that. I grew up an only child to a single, introvert mother, and I learned to enjoy my own company. I crave space, which can be difficult to find now that I’m also a wife, mother, and small media business owner. I know a lot of people but I only have a small number of close friends. And, I, too, prefer to talk to one person at a party than mingle! So all to say, thank you. Your words resonated with me. ❤️
Loved this Natasha, really resonated with me. I migrated some 30 yrs ago and left a couple of close friends in the UK who I still miss. Haven’t been able to make close friends here partly due to me really. I miss having relevant history with my day to day interactions and like you sometimes feel inadequate when seeing what people are up to on social media. This video was really well thought out and thought provoking and it was brave of you to open up about your experiences. Take care😘Max in Australia.
This. I could have written it. Moved from the UK and a handful of close friends. I thought I did the right thing, that I'd one day fit in, but no go, and not from lack of trying. Social media is a saving grace for Some human interaction, and at the same time, it can be a curse.
I don't want their fun, but I do want my own, introvert fun with introvert friends.
All the best from Mexico.
@@catpawrosales4265 thanks for the reply, interesting you experienced the same thing, take care, Max.
I love your insights here. I am one of the rare ones who fall into the both category. I worked as a student counsellor and am surrounded by people all day, talking, encouraging. I am friendly with everyone, so have a lot of people I am friendly with, and I do love this and it gives me energy. But also, because of childhood trauma's, I also need time on my own and guard that ferociously. I would rather have the one on one deep meaning conversations, and really enjoy the deepness of a real friendship, but this can also frighten me, to be so vulnerable, so i revert back into just enjoying the friendly chats in my day with people. People see me as a warm, friendly, funny and relational person......yet I can see myself also as very serious, intuitive, and needing time to stop, reflect and get balance again. I would be the one at the party with you, talking about frivolous things to help you feel comfortable and once you were, wed be laughing at all the serious things of life and having a very lovely and real connection. As a mi, extroverts are often misjudged as attention seeking, making things about them etc whereas for me, I am a kind soul and I just really enjoying talking and connecting with others, and see everyone as a potential new friend :)
It's like you describe my life. At 50 I'm becoming more and more of an introvert as I always know I was. in my younger years, this was not the case at all, but I always like "me time" more. Thank you for this video!