i’m a self confessed hoarder, from parents who were hoarders. Attempting to declutter can be over whelming. It’s been suggested that I just do an hour a day, or pick a room. I’ve donated 20 bags of clothing to charity- a step in the right direction. and yes i know it’s a mental illness.
I was raised in a hoard as well. I fight everyday to keep it in check. Floors cleared, kitchen cleared, every wall and all furniture accessible. I realized alot of it is seeing use in everything an not wanting to fill landfills. I donate stuff every month and recycle an compost daily. Trash is trash but alot of things are saved for art & garden projects. I have way to many books an nicknacks but as long as I do something everyday I'm proud. I struggle with depression and have realized that hoarding and depression go hand in hand. When everything gets to much I go outside an garden, weed an trim 😊 It helps alot
I totally understand the feeling of being overwhelmed. Of knowing you need a trailer or skip but not being able to afford it, knowing that if you start in one place then you have to have a place to put things while you clean an area out, and that and the physical pain & exhaustion stops you from starting. Wanting & needing help but being too embarrassed, even when people offer. Hating how your house looks so just not seeing it most of the time. Donating 20 bags is an incredible start! And will make a big difference to the people who you’re helping in the process. Don’t give up. And celebrate the feeling of achievement after every step, no matter how small. That little rush of dopamine is what will keep you going & make life better, not just your home. And know that there are people who truly understand.
I don't believe it ia always a mental illness, but often a disability. A symptom of ADD. But rather than Attention Deficit, it is INtention deficit, an executive function deficit.
I appreciate how this cleaner is sensitive to saving precious things and salvaging stuff of value, where other cleaners just shovel it all. He even took the time to show the client his sister in law’s happy side.
There are many reasons why stuff may go out by the shovel: 1. Water damage in the house which leads to black mold. 2. Rodent or insect infestations. 3. Cats or dogs using the inside of the house for a toilet. 4. Hoarders keeping garbage (which attracts rodents and insects). Some hoarders or families lose precious things because they're not fit to keep much less to look for.
@@jeanaprewitt9658 Yes it seems like this was a pretty tidy hoard. Hoarders keep a lot of things including expired food and garbage but it seems like she mostly had lots of paper and mail and not a lot of smelly trash (even though paper and mail could still attract vermin)
@@lonesparrow For me its common sense to wear some protection gear. liek a respiratory mask. You never know what kind of spores, bacteria, viruses or other germs are living amongst the rubbish.
Had a hoarder relative that died broke. We found almost $10K in change and bills stuffed in books, envelopes, etc. We had a 5 gallon bucket full of change when we were done.
Compassionate? How so? The woman is dead and gone, there’s no one to whom compassion can be given. The A&E version is trying to help living hoarders get better. Action, not expressions of sympathy, defines true compassion. This family was so detached from her they didn’t know she was in trouble.
This is a reminder that checking in with your loved ones means doing a physical wellness evaluation as well as talking to them on the phone. Many people, especially those who are elderly, do not want to burden their families with problems, and believe that they are coping okay, but are actually living in fairly shocking conditions. Even those who are not hoarders can become unable to manage their surroundings and their own physical needs. Visit your elderly loved ones!
Yes, some people are not really hoarders but become overwhelmed by accumulated "stuff" and may not be able to deal with it. People who have lived in a home for many decades may not fully realize how much stuff they've accumulated, as they live with it all the time and it's very familiar. I'm not talking trash and garbage, but things with uses and some value... just too much of it. I know a person who collects a specific type of figurine. Her home is filled to the brim with the collection, in every cupboard and on every shelf. She has been collecting them for over 30 years and may have a thousand items. She has stopped buying new ones, but has no idea what to do with the entire collection. I feel for her. She's looking for a buyer, but people usually want to gather collectiblesone by one, not buy everything from someone else.
They won’t allow it. No matter how close you are with someone, they won’t allow you in their house. If you show up on their doorstep after they’ve made it clear you’re not welcome, it causes a lot of family turmoil. You can’t force your way into someone’s house.
We just discovered that our neighbor was/is a hoarder. We hadn’t seen her for a few days, so a neighbor called for a wellness check. She was alive, but had fallen 10 days prior and hadn’t been able to get up. My husband was talking to the police while they were there and saw the inside. I also saw it. Piled to the ceiling. It was heart breaking.
I had a neighbor who was forced to live in a camper on his driveway because his house was condemned due to his hoarding. Everything was piled to the ceiling and the walls were falling apart.
I was worried this would happen to my mother. "luckily" I had to empty out her apartment as she was threatened with an eviction. It was traumatic for the both of us.The stench and the state of the apartment were undescribable. Still she couldn't see what the issue was, which was mind blowing. It truly is a mental illness.
My mom kept EVERYTHING since before i was born. Our childhood home was not this bad but after her husband of 47 years died, her bedroom became inaccessible. She had a lot of childhood trauma and undiagnosed mental things. She died this May of colon cancer. Now my brother and I are unearthing her life and its so humbling.
Omg 😮 my experience is almost the same as you! My mommy was an Aries and she kept EVERYTHING too.. my dad was the only thing keeping her from becoming a hoarder.. after my daddy died the hoarding got a lot worse! I had moved out several years prior and it wasn’t that bad then, everything had its place but when my mommy died May 22nd, 2022.. consequentially from lung cancer 😮 the paramedics told me they couldn’t even get the stretcher into the home cause it had junk everywhere.. it was sad. I noticed hoarding in myself too 😢 after dad and mommy died.. I went into a deep depression 😢 I wasn’t even taking out my trash and things were piling up on the floor and everywhere else.. One day it hit me… I couldn’t let this happen 😮 if I don’t correct this it’ll get worse…. A lot worse!!!! I cleaned my place up.. since I’ve moved I’ve been careful to watch for that from now on 🙂
@@noelleelizabethan I understand her efforts to collect and put all your childhood memorably. I did that as well. I put mine in what I called the memory box for each of them. When we all went our separate ways we had great fun sifting through their boxes and they got to keep what was important to them and I saved a few things for myself. I could of gone over board very easily but luckily my kids were gracious about my efforts. I think it was an important step in our relationships. In a world that moves a mile a minute and is jam packed full of activity I think it worked out well.
She was a nurse! Never to the hospital or public sector unless you want to pick up all the bugs and microbes pouring off of a hoarder, they are unusually attractive, and its the dna of people dancing. Gross.
Did you two not watch the video? She had a successful career, was well-liked in the community, and was known as a caring and helpful person. She was NOT alone. She had lots of friends and family.
The man leading the cleaning team was so lovely. Very compassionate the way he sought after the certificates and photos for the family. He is perfect for this job.
My grandmother was estranged from the family for about 12 years. We got a call that she was dying in hospital. The next day we went to her 5 bedroom house and found it hoarded waist high and above throughout. It took us months to clean it out, which was difficult because mixed in with the trash and stuff were things like a loaded pistol, diamond rings, family photos and 53 (!);bottles of Tide detergent, etc, along with a dozen dead rats. Such a tragedy. Mental illness is so hard on the family and what a lonely existence for her.
I'm a recovering hoarder and it's an OCD disorder and I got help with medication and then finally started going through everything and throwing it all away. My father was a lifelong hoarder but it was kept to the garage only but it took 22 truckloads to get rid of all of it. Whew.......what a job that was.
I don’t mean this to be insensitive, but whenever I watch a hoarder go through their things and not-pick what to keep and it slows down the team’s progress, I think of the moment that this episode portrays, after they are gone, when all those things they clung to go out by the shovel-full.
The problem is they've formed an emotional attachment. To a hoarder ( Like myself.) Those items mean just as much as a family members life seeing it just thrown in the trash is like watching my mom get thrown in the trash. It's a serious mental illness that sometimes can never really be battled. I am glad I am slowly getting away from my hoarding temptations but one small set back could set it off again.
@@JShepard1984 That helps to understand it, thanks for that. I would never judge a person who has that problem or expect them to be different but it helps to hear it from someone who really understands what it is like.
My mother owns 2 houses, both have garages (one a double wide). Packed full, all of it. She even bought a u-hall to park in the driveway for extra storage! She doesn’t live in either house but instead with her boyfriend…whose condo she’s now working on filling up. She likes to blame everyone else for not “helping”. I say she managed to get it all in there on her own just fine! Plus, she literally looses her mind if anyone touches her stuff. She wanted me to go watch her move things from one room to another and congratulate her. I’m good lol. She has NPD. Haven’t seen or spoken to her in over a year and never plan to again. My life has never been more peaceful.
Hoarders never allow you in the door. If you watch the American A&E show Hoarders, youll see its a VERY common thing the families say that they go to visit and the hoarder won't allow them in or will insist on meeting somewhere else. They don't want people knowing they hoard. @@ruthiemay423
@@ruthiemay423That’s entirely untrue. Hoarders will not allow people in their homes. He can’t force his way in, and he doesn’t seem like the type who would insist on an invitation. Many hoarders can be quite social, but only when someone else is hosting.
@@ruthiemay423 Sounds like they talked to her all of the time. She probably wouldn't let them in, like most hoarders. He sounds very compassionate. They called the police when they couldn't reach her for a few days.
What a gentle, kind and sensitive man he was to carefully and skillfully go thru and preserve the most important items. The legacy she left, and entire library of books, I with that every one of them fulfilled their destiny.
My late mother, was a hoarder. I was so grateful when my then boyfriend, now husband, got me to move in with him. My Mom never used to be like that, but she had a moment where she decided not to clean up or throw out anything anymore. My brother and I used to clean house for our parents, while they worked, but gave up, when our mom would scream at us, for bundling up old newspapers. She went on about not having read all of it, and now we were trying to toss it out. No matter how many times we told her that we were just bundling to get it out of the way, she wouldn't listen to us.
Ah yes, that was part of my late hoarder mom's shtick. Newspapers piled up to be read later. And later, and later... and more piles and more piles around the bed, along the living room walls, in the dining room... it's so crazy!
Modern archaeology - sifting through mountains of hoarded belongings to learn about a person’s life. This guy is very kindhearted. My grandmother was a hoarder & when she died I couldn’t do much to help clear her house as I live in a different state & it took weeks of solid work to empty her house. But I did spend a day after her funeral collecting as many quality clothes & things I could to donate to charity, as my father planned to just empty the entire house into skips. She had collected them & planned to donate to people in need & I hope that what little I could do did help her wherever she is, as well as those helped by the Red Cross.
In my experience, this happens often to nurses. Overworked and emotionally drawn, they have no energy to master the home environment, too. Some of the worst places I have seen. They give so much to others that they need to hold on to stuff to fill the void 😢
There are many jobs that are exhausting. Shift work too can be exhausting. I know people who went home from their work and couldn’t do much. They order what they need and procrastinate opening the packages. Depression is part of it even when you love your job and are well qualified. My aunt was not able to manage her time, stressed at work, became depressed. She bought things that she had a fantasy of accomplishing but couldn’t apply herself. I tried to help but she needed professional help. When you are depressed you don’t care even if you can’t pay the bills. This lady gave and gave in her nursing career and she will be blessed in heaven. I wish her home life had been more comfortable. Prayers for all.
I am 70 years old and over the years, I have known people who were hoarders or who had hoarding tendencies. One of the main hallmarks of a possible hoarder, is their unwillingness to allow people in their homes, even friends and family. They will also discuss their need to “tidy up” or “get rid of things” but that day never comes. I can’t imagine how much pain it would cause you to see your loved ones living like this.
A friend's brother passed recently. He recruited another friend to deal with his estate. He said and showed me photos that you couldn't get TO the front door through all of the trash, refrigerators, etc. They had to enter the house the way the brother had entered - by climbing a ladder and crawling through a second story window and he said they didn't step down into the room, they climbed up. They took 5 days to clear a path down to the front door, the entire house is buried under 6' of everything from good items to old bags of used cat litter. He said it smelled. Until the tv show aired the phenomenon seemed to go unnoticed, but afterwards everyone seemed to know at least one true hoarder, I own an estate sale company and I see them often. We really are addicted to our junk!
I would really hope that the brother in law doesn't feel too much guilt about not being able to help. A huge percentage are unable to accept help even if it is offered or will quickly relapse. It's an extraordinarily difficult condition to treat.
You are absolutely correct, my twin sister was also a nurse and a hoarder like this lady and only our family was aware, she loved to travel and when she would go somewhere my parents would go to her house and start shoveling for 7,8,9 days ( they were retired and not as fast as this team and careful not to throw anything valuable away) they would manage to get it to a manageable level by the time she returned and it went quickly back to the way it was😭
Not a sad life , this was just 1 part of her life , there were many good , wonderful , happy things and times before and even during this and she also brought kindness , happiness , caring , healing etc to many others too . Even after her passing and as sad as hoarding is all those books and clothes , boots , shoes etc will be used and appreciated by many others . The sad part is that no one , including family had been in her home to visit in about 20 yrs yet no one bothered to wonder why .
This hits close to home. My father died in his apartment at 55 and he was a hoarder. Not trash and filth thankfully. Just stuff neatly piled up along the walls until all you had was pathways. Took us 3 months to clear it out just the two of us. He was sitting upright on his couch peacefully. A day I’ll never forget.
My deepest, nost sincere condolences to you, your family, & all who knew your father. God bless you & thank you for the dedication & effort that you acted in throughout the clean-up process & grief. Love ya, darling!! Be safe, & God bless.
So sad, hoarding is a symptom and so is isolation. George was very compassionate as well as the brother in law. The team did a very good job managing the project and I hope the poor woman rests in peace!
Hoarding is a mental illness, not excessive sloppiness, as many seem to think. And it is manageable, not always curable. The compulsion to hang on and never let go - I have, as a former building super in NY come across people like with this condition. After complaints from building management and family members. Hoarders will often confront anyone who tries to help, and physically bar them from the house. It is to them - a kind of Fortress of Security they have built..The Collyer brothers were an extreme example. They were literally killed by their hoarded stuff. Very sad, and not such a rarity, so it seems..
I read about those brothers. Incredibly sad and impossible to understand for those of us who don’t do it. I have a good shoe collection, I adore my shoes, but they are neatly in the wardrobe so that I can see them, otherwise how do you remember what you’ve got? Plus for most of us, if your home is messy, it also clutters your brain (it does for me). I had an aunt who was a little bit of a hoarder, but mainly through working full time, raising kids and volunteering for so many organisations that she just had no energy left. She did improve after she retired though.
So I have a mental illness, Bipolar Disorder type 1 (the severe type). But I am treated by both a psychiatrist for meds and also a therapist. I live a fairly normal life but have put a lot of effort into mental health. I am also a CSA survivor and an alcoholic in recovery over 20 yrs now. So what I DON’T do is make my bipolar someone else’s problem. I take responsibility for it. This is why I have such a hard time understanding hoarders because they feel it’s ok to make it their family or friend’s (or even the ctiy’s) problem and they rarely seek help so that doesn’t happen. They don’t seem to care about anyone but themselves. Kind people try to help them but they won’t get help and are not even nice or thankful to those that are kind to them.
@@sarahtonin6281 Everyone's story and situation is different when it comes to mental illness despite the similarities, their voices deserving to be heard. Your anecdotal experiences do not represent the whole, it represents your own journey and understanding. Please be aware of that.
@@sarahtonin6281 quite judgemental and ignorant of you to compare your mental illness to another. The two are not the same. Hoarding generally stems from catastrophic trauma, and often multiple traumas. Is your Bipolar deliberate on your part? Of course not, but your behaviour stuff affects others. Hoarding is not deliberate. It's a response mechanism, as is the self imposed isolation. Nobody plans to be a hoarder. They need help, not judgement.
Another hard to believe aspect of hoarding is that person actually brought everything in piece by piece book by book, and item by item. That's a lot of countless trips, etc.
'Book of the Month Club" and things like that, and xmas gifts received while visiting relatives with money to spend on junk for others. Nick-nacks and novelty items and cheap gimicky impulse purchases while on a valid grocery shopping trip. To buy anything in a box is to have two things - the useful (initially) thing itself, but also the box and packing material which goes into The Collection.
I know someone who struggles with hoarding. At the worst of it, things were piled shoulder high and there was just enough path to get from room to room. Turns out they were struggling with major PTSD and needed to "hide the house" to stop triggering the memories. Also grew up in extreme poverty and couldn't bear to throw anything of any remote value (even if broken) away.
I'm glad they are saving and donating things that are still usable. I was worried they were going to put all of those books and new clothing in the bin!
As someone who was just diagnosed last year with ADHD and autism, I just have a feeling that there seems to be a big crossover between people on the spectrum, especially undiagnosed, and hoarding. Just makes it all the more sad, hearing about what kinds of brilliant people have ended up in this kind of dysfunction.
I was a CSI for 6 years in Florida and still work in evidence in Wisconsin. I've been to at least 5 scenes where a hoarder died and were almost buried by their things. It was truly sad, but family and friends can only be there for them if they allow it.
My husband would be a hoarder if I let him. My mother had dementia, but I was fortunate that she did a “death clean” of her house before her dementia got really bad. As I age I’ve been going through our home, getting rid of “stuff” so our daughter won’t have to go through it when we leave our home.
The care and respect for her belongings is so beautiful to see. People can get overwhelmed so fast and as someone who struggles to keep up with their home tasks to some small level i can understand how this happens. There just ends up too much for someone to deal with and then the process of cleaning up, upkeep, moving forward..it has to be so much work others just wouldnt be able to understand. I can see why it would feel impossible to even know where to start
Many hoarders are older, of retirement age. In a culture that worships youth and beauty, where one’s value is often connected to the ability to work and contribute economically - older people are devalued, even despised as ‘burdens’ and seen as ‘too costly’ Isolation, loneliness, financial hardship - there’s a popular notion that ALL Boomers and Silent Generation are wealthy, entitled and privileged - the reality is that many seniors live lives of poverty and privation, coupled with increasing poor health and extremely expensive medical conditions (heart disease, orthopedic issues, cancer, etc. A multitude of factors can lead to hoarding - but the conditions that many elderly find themselves in are a major contributor, I think
It's a major factor, but then many hoarders are in their prime years with kids single-digit years old or teens, have a job and all that. I wonder if anyone has done a study investigating differences in the habits of hoarders and their stashes between age ranges, family situation, career and education, wealth etc.
55 is not incredibly young, maybe you can say 40 is incredibly young but not 55, and 40 is a far cry and a stretch to claim is incredibly young. Simply look at the human organs and what state they body creates ADP, or whatever hormones and muscle building things, can recall because I'm 45, learned that age is just a number but past 40 is certainly old enough to pass and say it was a good life. Just sayin.
My husband died 2 years ago from pancreatic cancer. He was also 57. He hoarded computer items in large totes. After he died, I cleared out all of those totes. Everything was obsolete, so I threw it out. I cleaned out 28 large totes of his junk. I feel better that I don't have to deal with it later. His mother died 9 months before him, age 80. She had a storage unit (10 x 20) that I had to pay for. I sold everything in there for $500. I had nothing in there, so was happy to see it go. (Jan Griffiths).
This is the first hoarding show/episode I've fully watched and I was pleasantly surprised by how considerate and respectful George was about the woman and things that would be important to try and find and keep for the family. I've seen clips of American hoarding shows before and and don't recall them being so considerate.
Most of the US hoarders belongings are covered in excrement from cockroaches, mice, and rats. The US shows seem to show the worst of the worst type of hoarder. This poor lady appeared to be rather cleanly so her things were more likely to be salvageable.
@@MomeGnomeA lot of times, yes. People will get crushed by falling piles of stuff, or fall and break a hip and be unable to call for help. Plus there could be mould and bacteria and infestations of creatures carrying disease.
@@MomeGnome sorry - if she's hoarded food, there's possibility of mold, illness from eating expired food or trying to use dirty kitchenware to cook. Mold buildup can affect breathing, and clutter can be a trip hazard. Accidents happen ...unfortunately. :'
Even if her family had known about the hoarding, I doubt they could have helped her. Even if they cleared everything out, she'd start filling it up again.
Im glad they treat the victims of this illness as actual human beings who lived lives and had goals like any other person. I grew up to view shows like *Hoarders- Buried Alive* with great reproach in how they portrayed their guests as less-than human due to their illnesses. It sent a horrible message to audiences everywhere on how those struggling mentally should be scorned and ridiculed for way their disabilities impacted their lives. These videos highlight the elements thst shine through the illness they struggled with, choosing to define them not by the burden they carried but by the passion and love they held despite it.
He's right. As he held the small box of personal items, I thought back to the time I lost everything in a house fire. As traumatic as that was, many years later, I can truthfully say that the things it pained me the most to lose, would have fit into a box of that size.
I had accumulated a lot living in the same house for over a decade. The house fell into disrepair and I couldnt afford upkeep. I looked aro und for the most sentimental things barely filled two boxes, left everything else behind and sold the house as is. I will never spend money or aquire something non essential ever again. It destroyed my mental state. I feel so much better now that its gone.
I was so heart broken, George you are a good man. Very compassionate. This story really moved me, because your story was amongst this lovely lady’s journey. Thank you. Love from Az-US 😊❤
They seem to be so much more caring,considerate and compassionate then some of these counterpart episodes I have watched.I liked this episode far better,not that it's not tragic...the things people do or dont do- will get u everytime!!
I have a situation where I have been building a home for myself, going on six years now. I've lived on the property for fifteen years. I began collecting items before I moved up here! Over the years I have continued to collect items for my new home (which is still not ready for occupancy), and the shop building that I currently live in is on it's way to becoming a hoarder's nest. Once in awhile I will pick up a pile of stuff just to see why I'm saving it. Much of it has deteriorated beyond use and gets thrown away. As I stop my business, take a realistic view of my living situation, I see how I could become a real hoarder. I see a very thin line that I really don't want to cross!
@richardbedard1245 It sounds like you may be in a rural or remote area. If not, I can recommend the 'Trash Nothing' online community. People post a picture of what they're giving away, or what they're searching for. There are often takers for remnant building and gardening materials, furniture etc. Or, your own local community may have a drop-off depot, or Freecycle online noticeboard.
I loved this clean up crew! Very empathetic and humane. The portrayal of how they handled their work, respected and discovered precious items was great. Also loved how they connected with of the family of the person who passed.
So, so sad & just an outward representation of the clutter & pain occurring within. She sounds like she was an intelligent, kind & accomplished lady. She was clearly depressed & lonely & “stuff” became her distraction & dopamine hit. I appreciate how kind both the cleaner & BIL are & so sensitive re: this complex disorder. RIP, Annemarie, I hope you’re free of your pain now.
I suffered a lot of loss. Two fiancees and a best friend all in the last seven years. The knitting is therapeutic so I make blankets. Because I watch those show hoarders I make sure I gift every blanket I make. Now the yarn is a problem. I have bags of it. Everywhere. My kids say it’s manageable. I mean we’re not talking floor to ceiling we’re not even talking room is filled with yarn. But it’s a lot… For me. While I’m making a blanket, I don’t want to run out of color since I don’t drive and I will have to wait for it to be delivered. So I told my kids if something happen to me to donate the yarn. I don’t want my kids to find me surrounded by bags and bags of bags of yarn and none of them knit or crochet
My girlfriend has this “problem” too (crochets). She stressed about it similarly to you, so I’ll just tell you what I told her (and it seems to have helped): So long as it’s contained and organized (able to get X color out without bringing out a massive tangled mess (yes some tangles are fine)) then it really isn’t a problem. She has a 3 drawer plastic container for her craft stuff, but I do plan to move into a bigger apartment at some point and make her a full on craft room. When we moved to our current apartment, we donated ~20lbs of yarn.
I'm a low level hoarder and recently I saw and felt the pain and stress my excess stuff (art supplies I 'could use some day', clothes I 'might wear some day') was giving my partner, so I've started giving away the good stuff to less fortunate people, considering I'm better off now than where I came from. Tossing the useless etc. I no longer need to hoard, I can buy the things I need and want... But the urge is still there 😩
It breaks my heart that her family never visited and so had no idea she was in crisis. Hoarding is largely an effort to regain control when people feel like they have lost control. Then it gets out of hand. So sad. I hope that her family finds some peace.
My friend lived like this. The house was sold and the heat shut off and he was still trying to get a little of his stuff out but had no vehicle. He almost died one night when it went down to 10 F. He vowed to change with his lovely new apartment. Ended up filling one room with junk and empty bottles.
As someone who grew up with hoarders, I love that he found a way to give all those books a new life! And he saved some very beautiful memories for the family!
There’s a concept in South Korea called “lonely death” which is exactly what happened to Anne-Marie. She died alone in her home and it took awhile for her death to be discovered. You learn so much about someone just by going through their stuff.
A neighbor of mine who is a caretaker just moved. We visited when we passed outside of the apartment complex we both live in, she was always very clean kept. She told me that’s she was moving and I’d not seen any moving trucks. The next day the apartment complex had a gang of trucks show up and it was at least 7 huge trucks of trash and books , chairs all from a 2 bedroom apartment. I was throughly shocked. Fast forward couple days later I went grocery shopping and saw her car pass me by, she put her hand by her head so not to see me. I felt so sad , she was older and I was fond of her, I just wanted to say to her that she is loved. I hope to one day tell her. Praying for all those in this type of prison.
Think of your ten favourite possessions. Imagine you have some peculiar or unusual sitiation that forces you to leave all behind except for these 10. So here you are with your ten beloved objects and all your other things have been destroyed. Now imagine your family turning up with a bunch of experts trying to convince you thast you have a mental illness and youll feel so much better once you decide which five of your "worthless trash" items to throw away.. Its something like that.
Depression, loneliness and anxiety. ADD, Low self esteem or trauma as well. They build a wall so people can’t reach them while acting like everything is ok. It’s like a duck you see gliding across the pond yet their legs are pumping away underneath where you can’t see it.
Think of it as a brain disease. The hoard is the symptom of a brain that’s not working correctly. They’ve done Functional MRIs on people with various mental disorders, like eating disorders, OCD, phobias and hoarding. When a person with the disorder sees triggering images, their brain lights up in places a normal brain wouldn’t, and all these other fight or flight physiological responses kick in. To try to imagine what it feels like if you’re terrified of snakes and then wake up and see a snake in your bed. Now imagine they are feeling the same intensity of that response when someone threatens the hoard. The degree of distress and trauma can feel like it’s life or death.
What a kind and sensitive fellow....in the midst of this he works to help the family and give dignity to the poor lady that has passed under this illness.
AT least it was kinda clean and cleanable. Try that, plus 50 years of obsessive antique dealing and collection combined with decades of chain smoking, decades of inside cats without boxes, the last 25 years with no cleaner ever and a man with so many medical conditions he was too sick to go to appts many times. Some rooms had collapsed ceilings and vines growing thru all the rooms - just dangling from the rafters - like a dark swamp, and spider webs between the vine tendrills. Its not explainable the state we found the house in. For years he never let anyone inside. Now we know why.
Thank you for the compassion. My dad was sort of a hoarder. We had so much stuff in the basement and shed. It took a while to get rid of it. My mom collected things. Most of their things were donated. I am trying to ti collect many things because I don't want to stress out someone after i am gone.
Had an elderly uncle-in-law (divorced aunt 2 decades ago) recently discovered de@d in his apartment by police; coworkers noticed he didn't go to work in a while so reported to authorities. Apparently, he's passed many days earlier, slumped beside his bed. People living alone need to be visited (his only son didn't over the years) and just settled with their texts/chats of small talk and brief how-are-you-just-fine conversation. It's sad to think about elderly people passing alone and discovered weeks if not months later. To be fair, this guy didn't keep up with his son either so mutual care wasn't built at all.
My friends sister is a hoarder. It’s quite scary actually, they had dogs too, so whenever I go over to their place, there will be shit everywhere and dog shit too. It was disgusting. The hoarder will constantly buy things say “we need this”…. It’s very sad 😵💫. They moved away but my goodness… I hope she gets the help she need. She taught me to be simple and be a minimalist.
I totally understand the feeling of being overwhelmed. Of knowing you need a trailer or skip but not being able to afford it, knowing that if you start in one place then you have to have a place to put things while you clean an area out, and that and the physical pain & exhaustion stops you from starting. Wanting & needing help but being too embarrassed, even when people offer. Hating how your house looks so just not seeing it most of the time. Starting with just 10 mins a day, or 30 mins, or donating one bag to charity will make a big difference to both you & the people who you’re helping in the process. Don’t give up. And celebrate the feeling of achievement after every step, no matter how small. That little rush of dopamine is what will keep you going & make life better, not just your home. And know that there are people who truly understand.
I see these cases of accumulation and I have mixed feelings: sometimes I get angry, sometimes I feel sorry. I know it's a disease and that those who have it tend to lose track of reality and tend to suffer a lot, but I get angry at the fact that they destroy new things that are in good condition just because of illness. That's why I always try to keep my few possessions clean and in good condition. I don't want to find myself in this situation!
The saddest part about the illness of hoarding is that it so often isolates the hoarder so much from everyone around them, family and friends, and from what is really important, close connections and being part of the community. What George said at the end about a person's life being reduced to a shoebox is so true. I've had grandparents and aunts go into care homes, and all they could take with them was a small bag of clothes and belongings. None of them were hoarders, yet they had to give away things that had sentimental value. In the end, we don't take anything at all with us.
It's interesting to see the hoard cleared out without the hoarder there picking things to keep. This took three days. Had she been there, it would have been at least a week, and there still would have been a bunch of junk left.
I get the impression their relationship wasn’t as rosy as her husband portrays. I don’t really believe they or the rest of the family didn’t know. Hoarding can be spontaneous and tied to anxiety disorders, but a large portion of hoarders turn to hoarding after a significant trauma. It also has a habit of imploding the hoarder’s relationships.
That was a pretty clean horde compared to what some horders do. Many suffer rat and mice infestation. My mother-in-law was a secret horder in a mild sort of way. She ended up living in her front room and kitchen, which she kept clean. After she passed away, we found that she had horded decades of newspapers going back to the 1950s. They were neatly stacked up and filled all the upstairs rooms. My son, a civil engineer, said he reckoned the weight was probably endangering the structural integrity of the house. Which reminds me, I need to clean up the clutter in our cellar, it's becoming a problem getting into it.
And at the end, non of this stuff makes a hoarder any happier. Years of horarded junk end up in a rubbish dump anyway. You can't take anything with you when you die. I feel sad for them. All that hoarding for nothing.
My auntie lives like this. She hoards expensive things. I once found a stack of 100% cashmere loungewear sets in every color. They were folded under bags of stuff from Nordstrom all with tags and receipts. She bought it, came home, set it down, and never looked at it again. Each set was about $300 bucks. She has about 200 pairs of Ferragamo shoes still in the boxes from the 90s and on.. Its super sad, she thinks its not a problem because it's not trash.
Have you ever investigated the Bill Clinton from the White House in America president of the United States they said on TV years ago I remember watching that they like to horde antiques from other countries in they wanted to take all the antiques home when they left the White House in 2001 so check up on Bill Clinton and his background all the stuff that they had from overseas that they brought home I know I saw it on TV years ago in 2010 talking about Bill Clinton was a hoarder antiques
I understand the need to assign an emotion or reason to keep things once they are no longer practical, but the sinks are always what do me in. I understand the reasons why people hoard food or may keep expired food, but it turns to moldy goo and is absolutely revolting. These shows remind me to clean out my closets, fridge and spring clean the house.
I’m a firefighter/medic and I’ve been in some hoarder houses and they’re usually really nasty. I understand that it’s a mental illness but it’s wild that people live like that.
What's really sad is mental illness has been stigmatized for so long that people just don't want to get help because they don't want to be thought of as crazy. Mental health is mental wellness. Just like going to a doctor for a cold or the flu is physical wellness. We need to stop stigmatizing mental healthcare and get people the help they need.
i’m a self confessed hoarder, from parents who were hoarders. Attempting to declutter can be over whelming. It’s been suggested that I just do an hour a day, or pick a room.
I’ve donated 20 bags of clothing to charity- a step in the right direction.
and yes i know it’s a mental illness.
My ADHD had me sometimes feeling overwhelmed and keeping items I thought would help fight my loneliness.
I was raised in a hoard as well. I fight everyday to keep it in check. Floors cleared, kitchen cleared, every wall and all furniture accessible. I realized alot of it is seeing use in everything an not wanting to fill landfills. I donate stuff every month and recycle an compost daily. Trash is trash but alot of things are saved for art & garden projects. I have way to many books an nicknacks but as long as I do something everyday I'm proud. I struggle with depression and have realized that hoarding and depression go hand in hand. When everything gets to much I go outside an garden, weed an trim 😊 It helps alot
That’s a great step! I wish you much health and happiness in keeping on going! ❤
I totally understand the feeling of being overwhelmed. Of knowing you need a trailer or skip but not being able to afford it, knowing that if you start in one place then you have to have a place to put things while you clean an area out, and that and the physical pain & exhaustion stops you from starting. Wanting & needing help but being too embarrassed, even when people offer. Hating how your house looks so just not seeing it most of the time. Donating 20 bags is an incredible start! And will make a big difference to the people who you’re helping in the process. Don’t give up. And celebrate the feeling of achievement after every step, no matter how small. That little rush of dopamine is what will keep you going & make life better, not just your home. And know that there are people who truly understand.
I don't believe it ia always a mental illness, but often a disability. A symptom of ADD. But rather than Attention Deficit, it is INtention deficit, an executive function deficit.
"No matter what you hoard, your life can be placed in a shoe box. ~George"
What a sobering statement considering mortal remains also end up in a box.
That’s what he meant.
George is so respectful of Ann-Marie's possessions and also if her as a person.
I appreciate how this cleaner is sensitive to saving precious things and salvaging stuff of value, where other cleaners just shovel it all. He even took the time to show the client his sister in law’s happy side.
The hoard IS gone through before we are shown the shoveling.
There are many reasons why stuff may go out by the shovel:
1. Water damage in the house which leads to black mold.
2. Rodent or insect infestations.
3. Cats or dogs using the inside of the house for a toilet.
4. Hoarders keeping garbage (which attracts rodents and insects).
Some hoarders or families lose precious things because they're not fit to keep much less to look for.
@@jeanaprewitt9658 Yes it seems like this was a pretty tidy hoard. Hoarders keep a lot of things including expired food and garbage but it seems like she mostly had lots of paper and mail and not a lot of smelly trash (even though paper and mail could still attract vermin)
Another man's trash is another man's treasure.
@@lonesparrow For me its common sense to wear some protection gear. liek a respiratory mask. You never know what kind of spores, bacteria, viruses or other germs are living amongst the rubbish.
Had a hoarder relative that died broke. We found almost $10K in change and bills stuffed in books, envelopes, etc. We had a 5 gallon bucket full of change when we were done.
💔
did u ever go visit them? call them?
@@Lauren-vd4qeThey usually don’t let people in to visit.
@@MomeGnome They won’t let you in the door. You will NOT get in to their house unless they are so ill they cannot stand.
@@annwilliams6438 Exactly! I’ve spent a LOT of time on the front porch in all sorts of weather. No entry, no way.
Im absolutely amazed by the sensitivity of that man cleaning the mess but respectfully honors the person who lived in it
Yes🙏
This is so much more compassionate than the A&E version.
I wonder if it's cause they're english.
@@lopsidedbear6301Definitely. American TV is always about the theatrics
A much more mature approach to this subject than the American version
@@lopsidedbear6301I dunno, the English have some absolutely brutal “reality” type shows
Compassionate? How so? The woman is dead and gone, there’s no one to whom compassion can be given. The A&E version is trying to help living hoarders get better. Action, not expressions of sympathy, defines true compassion. This family was so detached from her they didn’t know she was in trouble.
This is a reminder that checking in with your loved ones means doing a physical wellness evaluation as well as talking to them on the phone. Many people, especially those who are elderly, do not want to burden their families with problems, and believe that they are coping okay, but are actually living in fairly shocking conditions. Even those who are not hoarders can become unable to manage their surroundings and their own physical needs. Visit your elderly loved ones!
Yes, some people are not really hoarders but become overwhelmed by accumulated "stuff" and may not be able to deal with it. People who have lived in a home for many decades may not fully realize how much stuff they've accumulated, as they live with it all the time and it's very familiar. I'm not talking trash and garbage, but things with uses and some value... just too much of it. I know a person who collects a specific type of figurine. Her home is filled to the brim with the collection, in every cupboard and on every shelf. She has been collecting them for over 30 years and may have a thousand items. She has stopped buying new ones, but has no idea what to do with the entire collection. I feel for her. She's looking for a buyer, but people usually want to gather collectiblesone by one, not buy everything from someone else.
You're missing the point about hoarding. It works to keep people away. Do you really think a hoarder will allow someone into their house?
They won’t allow it. No matter how close you are with someone, they won’t allow you in their house. If you show up on their doorstep after they’ve made it clear you’re not welcome, it causes a lot of family turmoil. You can’t force your way into someone’s house.
You do not need to be old to be a hoarder also
“Here grandpa its time for me to physically evaluate you!” ^gets punched in the nose^
We just discovered that our neighbor was/is a hoarder. We hadn’t seen her for a few days, so a neighbor called for a wellness check. She was alive, but had fallen 10 days prior and hadn’t been able to get up. My husband was talking to the police while they were there and saw the inside. I also saw it. Piled to the ceiling. It was heart breaking.
Was she an unhappy person?
Good on you to check on those around you. God bless!
I had a neighbor who was forced to live in a camper on his driveway because his house was condemned due to his hoarding. Everything was piled to the ceiling and the walls were falling apart.
@precisiongrinder
That's generally how piling works, yes.
@@JesgateOnDowninsensitive comment of the week, and piling does not imply that it reaches the ceiling.
I was worried this would happen to my mother. "luckily" I had to empty out her apartment as she was threatened with an eviction. It was traumatic for the both of us.The stench and the state of the apartment were undescribable. Still she couldn't see what the issue was, which was mind blowing. It truly is a mental illness.
Thank goodness, you did not inherit the same affliction. I hope she is doing better.
Anxiety/depression...their world shrinks, and they feel safe with cherished belongings for company.
Its not a mental illness is always people who are too lazy to get rid of shit
The man cleaning has so much compassion and respect for the person that lived there.
More than the family
He’s an angel sent from heaven.
My mom kept EVERYTHING since before i was born. Our childhood home was not this bad but after her husband of 47 years died, her bedroom became inaccessible. She had a lot of childhood trauma and undiagnosed mental things. She died this May of colon cancer. Now my brother and I are unearthing her life and its so humbling.
RIP to your mother.
Omg 😮 my experience is almost the same as you! My mommy was an Aries and she kept EVERYTHING too.. my dad was the only thing keeping her from becoming a hoarder.. after my daddy died the hoarding got a lot worse! I had moved out several years prior and it wasn’t that bad then, everything had its place but when my mommy died May 22nd, 2022.. consequentially from lung cancer 😮 the paramedics told me they couldn’t even get the stretcher into the home cause it had junk everywhere.. it was sad. I noticed hoarding in myself too 😢 after dad and mommy died.. I went into a deep depression 😢 I wasn’t even taking out my trash and things were piling up on the floor and everywhere else.. One day it hit me… I couldn’t let this happen 😮 if I don’t correct this it’ll get worse…. A lot worse!!!! I cleaned my place up.. since I’ve moved I’ve been careful to watch for that from now on 🙂
I am sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself!
Im sorry you’re going through that
@@noelleelizabethan I understand her efforts to collect and put all your childhood memorably. I did that as well. I put mine in what I called the memory box for each of them. When we all went our separate ways we had great fun sifting through their boxes and they got to keep what was important to them and I saved a few things for myself. I could of gone over board very easily but luckily my kids were gracious about my efforts. I think it was an important step in our relationships. In a world that moves a mile a minute and is jam packed full of activity I think it worked out well.
So sad that she passed alone. She sounded like a nice person. My condolences to her family.
She was a nurse! Never to the hospital or public sector unless you want to pick up all the bugs and microbes pouring off of a hoarder, they are unusually attractive, and its the dna of people dancing. Gross.
She did not pass alone. She had all her books !
Did you two not watch the video? She had a successful career, was well-liked in the community, and was known as a caring and helpful person. She was NOT alone. She had lots of friends and family.
@@mynameisworldShe *died* alone.
Everyone does alone 😊 @@mynameisworld
i love how george is so compassionate yet practical in these situations. what a gem he is!
Absolutely. He’s making such an effort to humanize her (and, I’m sure, his other clients) and preserve her memory
@@fiercenunbothered I think he’s probably my favorite. It’s not like it’s just a job for him
no, he is far too nosey
I thought he was lovely!
😊😊@@fiercenunbothered
The man leading the cleaning team was so lovely. Very compassionate the way he sought after the certificates and photos for the family. He is perfect for this job.
My grandmother was estranged from the family for about 12 years. We got a call that she was dying in hospital. The next day we went to her 5 bedroom house and found it hoarded waist high and above throughout. It took us months to clean it out, which was difficult because mixed in with the trash and stuff were things like a loaded pistol, diamond rings, family photos and 53 (!);bottles of Tide detergent, etc, along with a dozen dead rats. Such a tragedy. Mental illness is so hard on the family and what a lonely existence for her.
I'm a recovering hoarder and it's an OCD disorder and I got help with medication and then finally started going through everything and throwing it all away. My father was a lifelong hoarder but it was kept to the garage only but it took 22 truckloads to get rid of all of it. Whew.......what a job that was.
It isn't always an OCD disorder.
I don’t mean this to be insensitive, but whenever I watch a hoarder go through their things and not-pick what to keep and it slows down the team’s progress, I think of the moment that this episode portrays, after they are gone, when all those things they clung to go out by the shovel-full.
Because it’s a serious mental illness.
True. They attach a meaning to garbage that exists only for them, and to others it’s simply trash.
The problem is they've formed an emotional attachment. To a hoarder ( Like myself.) Those items mean just as much as a family members life seeing it just thrown in the trash is like watching my mom get thrown in the trash. It's a serious mental illness that sometimes can never really be battled. I am glad I am slowly getting away from my hoarding temptations but one small set back could set it off again.
@@JShepard1984 That helps to understand it, thanks for that. I would never judge a person who has that problem or expect them to be different but it helps to hear it from someone who really understands what it is like.
@@JShepard1984❤
My mother owns 2 houses, both have garages (one a double wide). Packed full, all of it. She even bought a u-hall to park in the driveway for extra storage!
She doesn’t live in either house but instead with her boyfriend…whose condo she’s now working on filling up.
She likes to blame everyone else for not “helping”. I say she managed to get it all in there on her own just fine! Plus, she literally looses her mind if anyone touches her stuff. She wanted me to go watch her move things from one room to another and congratulate her. I’m good lol. She has NPD. Haven’t seen or spoken to her in over a year and never plan to again. My life has never been more peaceful.
My neighbor has three homes, all hoarded. She tried to hoard at our house, putting her furniture in our garage.
@@f8ofk8 Yikes! It’s a sickness for sure.
I love how you treat their belongings with respect. A very sad outcome indeed. RIP
nosey.!
Yes, respect! That's what every person deserves.
George's respect for the deceased and her possessions is comforting. Thank you for posting.
I love the respect he had for his sister-in-law. Very sad she died alone.
What a great man to care so much for her..❤😢
Hoarders never allow you in the door. If you watch the American A&E show Hoarders, youll see its a VERY common thing the families say that they go to visit and the hoarder won't allow them in or will insist on meeting somewhere else. They don't want people knowing they hoard. @@ruthiemay423
@@ruthiemay423That’s entirely untrue. Hoarders will not allow people in their homes. He can’t force his way in, and he doesn’t seem like the type who would insist on an invitation. Many hoarders can be quite social, but only when someone else is hosting.
@@ruthiemay423 Sounds like they talked to her all of the time. She probably wouldn't let them in, like most hoarders. He sounds very compassionate. They called the police when they couldn't reach her for a few days.
Most people die alone, honestly.
What a gentle, kind and sensitive man he was to carefully and skillfully go thru and preserve the most important items. The legacy she left, and entire library of books, I with that every one of them fulfilled their destiny.
My late mother, was a hoarder. I was so grateful when my then boyfriend, now husband, got me to move in with him. My Mom never used to be like that, but she had a moment where she decided not to clean up or throw out anything anymore. My brother and I used to clean house for our parents, while they worked, but gave up, when our mom would scream at us, for bundling up old newspapers. She went on about not having read all of it, and now we were trying to toss it out. No matter how many times we told her that we were just bundling to get it out of the way, she wouldn't listen to us.
Bless you. How painful.
You did your best. You cared enough to try. God Bless you and your husband.
Ah yes, that was part of my late hoarder mom's shtick. Newspapers piled up to be read later. And later, and later... and more piles and more piles around the bed, along the living room walls, in the dining room... it's so crazy!
Really appreciate the did manage to donate a decent amount of items given she clearly bought them new and never touched.
Modern archaeology - sifting through mountains of hoarded belongings to learn about a person’s life. This guy is very kindhearted. My grandmother was a hoarder & when she died I couldn’t do much to help clear her house as I live in a different state & it took weeks of solid work to empty her house. But I did spend a day after her funeral collecting as many quality clothes & things I could to donate to charity, as my father planned to just empty the entire house into skips. She had collected them & planned to donate to people in need & I hope that what little I could do did help her wherever she is, as well as those helped by the Red Cross.
You are a kindhearted and good 😊person ty
I love this mans compassion. Be more like him. A good human.
In my experience, this happens often to nurses. Overworked and emotionally drawn, they have no energy to master the home environment, too. Some of the worst places I have seen. They give so much to others that they need to hold on to stuff to fill the void 😢
Not just nurses but doctors too. I've never seen a doctor with a clean house period.
@@ungrateful-66, I have definitely seen a doctor whose home was absolutely immaculate.
It seems so common that both nurses and teachers are over-represented in hoarding.
@@wot4me2in days past, women only did teaching nursing or office work. This could be a factor also.
@@Is43109 True!
There are many jobs that are exhausting. Shift work too can be exhausting. I know people who went home from their work and couldn’t do much. They order what they need and procrastinate opening the packages. Depression is part of it even when you love your job and are well qualified. My aunt was not able to manage her time, stressed at work, became depressed. She bought things that she had a fantasy of accomplishing but couldn’t apply herself. I tried to help but she needed professional help. When you are depressed you don’t care even if you can’t pay the bills. This lady gave and gave in her nursing career and she will be blessed in heaven. I wish her home life had been more comfortable. Prayers for all.
I am 70 years old and over the years, I have known people who were hoarders or who had hoarding tendencies. One of the main hallmarks of a possible hoarder, is their unwillingness to allow people in their homes, even friends and family. They will also discuss their need to “tidy up” or “get rid of things” but that day never comes. I can’t imagine how much pain it would cause you to see your loved ones living like this.
When I need motivation to clean my house I watch a program or 2 about hoarding.
I had two different family members found dead in their hoards. It’s sad because those family members kept the rest of the family away for years.
Yes. They cancel constantly,only want to meet at a restaurant , or your home so you are clueless
Yep that’s my mom (except she’s still alive). She’s alienated all her friends and family but has kept all her garbage.
@@StefferKatz ❤️
Why would you let them do that?
@@E.E.Wilson you haven’t dealt with the elderly have you. They are had years to perfect their stubbornness
A friend's brother passed recently. He recruited another friend to deal with his estate. He said and showed me photos that you couldn't get TO the front door through all of the trash, refrigerators, etc. They had to enter the house the way the brother had entered - by climbing a ladder and crawling through a second story window and he said they didn't step down into the room, they climbed up.
They took 5 days to clear a path down to the front door, the entire house is buried under 6' of everything from good items to old bags of used cat litter. He said it smelled.
Until the tv show aired the phenomenon seemed to go unnoticed, but afterwards everyone seemed to know at least one true hoarder, I own an estate sale company and I see them often. We really are addicted to our junk!
It took me 5½ years to empty and sell the contents of my parent's house, mostly at auctions. We made thousand$!
I would really hope that the brother in law doesn't feel too much guilt about not being able to help. A huge percentage are unable to accept help even if it is offered or will quickly relapse. It's an extraordinarily difficult condition to treat.
You are absolutely correct, my twin sister was also a nurse and a hoarder like this lady and only our family was aware, she loved to travel and when she would go somewhere my parents would go to her house and start shoveling for 7,8,9 days ( they were retired and not as fast as this team and careful not to throw anything valuable away) they would manage to get it to a manageable level by the time she returned and it went quickly back to the way it was😭
Terrible, very sad.
I agree with you, the fact he showed up was the first thing he did to show that he cares. He seemed like a lovely man.
RIP Ann Marie, what a sad life....Love George, he is so caring.
Not a sad life , this was just 1 part of her life , there were many good , wonderful , happy things and times before and even during this and she also brought kindness , happiness , caring , healing etc to many others too . Even after her passing and as sad as hoarding is all those books and clothes , boots , shoes etc will be used and appreciated by many others . The sad part is that no one , including family had been in her home to visit in about 20 yrs yet no one bothered to wonder why .
@@shari9721 HAVE MERCY ON ME JESUS!!!!DO NEED YOUR HELP!!!AS SHE NEEDED SO BADLY....
@@shari9721 DO NEED YOU HELP SO BADLY JESUS PLS HELP ME DEA LORD....
@@shari9721 have mercy dear lord!!!
MERCY DEAR LORD!!!
This hits close to home. My father died in his apartment at 55 and he was a hoarder. Not trash and filth thankfully. Just stuff neatly piled up along the walls until all you had was pathways. Took us 3 months to clear it out just the two of us. He was sitting upright on his couch peacefully. A day I’ll never forget.
My deepest, nost sincere condolences to you, your family, & all who knew your father. God bless you & thank you for the dedication & effort that you acted in throughout the clean-up process & grief. Love ya, darling!! Be safe, & God bless.
@ thank you for such a beautiful sentiment ♥️ love you too!
So sad, hoarding is a symptom and so is isolation. George was very compassionate as well as the brother in law. The team did a very good job managing the project and I hope the poor woman rests in peace!
Hoarding is a mental illness, not excessive sloppiness, as many seem to think. And it is manageable, not always curable. The compulsion to hang on and never let go - I have, as a former building super in NY come across people like with this condition. After complaints from building management and family members. Hoarders will often confront anyone who tries to help, and physically bar them from the house. It is to them - a kind of Fortress of Security they have built..The Collyer brothers were an extreme example. They were literally killed by their hoarded stuff. Very sad, and not such a rarity, so it seems..
Yes. A mental illness often related to a traumatic loss. To gather things may give a feeling of comfort and safety.
I read about those brothers. Incredibly sad and impossible to understand for those of us who don’t do it. I have a good shoe collection, I adore my shoes, but they are neatly in the wardrobe so that I can see them, otherwise how do you remember what you’ve got? Plus for most of us, if your home is messy, it also clutters your brain (it does for me). I had an aunt who was a little bit of a hoarder, but mainly through working full time, raising kids and volunteering for so many organisations that she just had no energy left. She did improve after she retired though.
So I have a mental illness, Bipolar Disorder type 1 (the severe type). But I am treated by both a psychiatrist for meds and also a therapist. I live a fairly normal life but have put a lot of effort into mental health. I am also a CSA survivor and an alcoholic in recovery over 20 yrs now. So what I DON’T do is make my bipolar someone else’s problem. I take responsibility for it. This is why I have such a hard time understanding hoarders because they feel it’s ok to make it their family or friend’s (or even the ctiy’s) problem and they rarely seek help so that doesn’t happen. They don’t seem to care about anyone but themselves. Kind people try to help them but they won’t get help and are not even nice or thankful to those that are kind to them.
@@sarahtonin6281 Everyone's story and situation is different when it comes to mental illness despite the similarities, their voices deserving to be heard. Your anecdotal experiences do not represent the whole, it represents your own journey and understanding. Please be aware of that.
@@sarahtonin6281 quite judgemental and ignorant of you to compare your mental illness to another. The two are not the same. Hoarding generally stems from catastrophic trauma, and often multiple traumas. Is your Bipolar deliberate on your part? Of course not, but your behaviour stuff affects others. Hoarding is not deliberate. It's a response mechanism, as is the self imposed isolation. Nobody plans to be a hoarder. They need help, not judgement.
Another hard to believe aspect of hoarding is that person actually brought everything in piece by piece book by book, and item by item. That's a lot of countless trips, etc.
'Book of the Month Club" and things like that, and xmas gifts received while visiting relatives with money to spend on junk for others. Nick-nacks and novelty items and cheap gimicky impulse purchases while on a valid grocery shopping trip. To buy anything in a box is to have two things - the useful (initially) thing itself, but also the box and packing material which goes into The Collection.
I know someone who struggles with hoarding. At the worst of it, things were piled shoulder high and there was just enough path to get from room to room. Turns out they were struggling with major PTSD and needed to "hide the house" to stop triggering the memories. Also grew up in extreme poverty and couldn't bear to throw anything of any remote value (even if broken) away.
That man did a super job cleaning that house and getting all her personal items.
One of the cleanest hordes I've ever seen.
No decayed food or dead mice or worn out tennis shoes, not that I saw.
I'm glad they are saving and donating things that are still usable. I was worried they were going to put all of those books and new clothing in the bin!
As someone who was just diagnosed last year with ADHD and autism, I just have a feeling that there seems to be a big crossover between people on the spectrum, especially undiagnosed, and hoarding. Just makes it all the more sad, hearing about what kinds of brilliant people have ended up in this kind of dysfunction.
He is such thoughtful man - treating the deceased’s belongings with respect.
He is able to see the human through the hoard.
Thank you!
I was a CSI for 6 years in Florida and still work in evidence in Wisconsin. I've been to at least 5 scenes where a hoarder died and were almost buried by their things. It was truly sad, but family and friends can only be there for them if they allow it.
RIP Marie, so sorry that you were alone at the end.sounded like you were a very lovely person 😊🙏🏼🙏🏼
People - when you get older, have an accountability partner - that you call every morning. You both will be safer for it. This is so sad….
My husband would be a hoarder if I let him. My mother had dementia, but I was fortunate that she did a “death clean” of her house before her dementia got really bad. As I age I’ve been going through our home, getting rid of “stuff” so our daughter won’t have to go through it when we leave our home.
My grandma can read all those books, she reads2-3 books a day. She holds the record at the library for most books.
I'm close to that 1 or 2 a day
@@janetcallanan7020 I am too. I can never find enough books to read. I am in bed most of the time due to an illness. Books are my reprieve.
A DAY?! wow
a compassionate professional. Thank you, George.
The care and respect for her belongings is so beautiful to see.
People can get overwhelmed so fast and as someone who struggles to keep up with their home tasks to some small level i can understand how this happens. There just ends up too much for someone to deal with and then the process of cleaning up, upkeep, moving forward..it has to be so much work others just wouldnt be able to understand. I can see why it would feel impossible to even know where to start
I’m so glad to hear that they were able to save her books. ❤️
This is probably the cleanest hoarder house I’ve ever seen
Many hoarders are older, of retirement age.
In a culture that worships youth and beauty, where one’s value is often connected to the ability to work and contribute economically - older people are devalued, even despised as ‘burdens’ and seen as ‘too costly’
Isolation, loneliness, financial hardship - there’s a popular notion that ALL Boomers and Silent Generation are wealthy, entitled and privileged - the reality is that many seniors live lives of poverty and privation, coupled with increasing poor health and extremely expensive medical conditions (heart disease, orthopedic issues, cancer, etc.
A multitude of factors can lead to hoarding - but the conditions that many elderly find themselves in are a major contributor, I think
It's a major factor, but then many hoarders are in their prime years with kids single-digit years old or teens, have a job and all that. I wonder if anyone has done a study investigating differences in the habits of hoarders and their stashes between age ranges, family situation, career and education, wealth etc.
Old age and loneliness is something we all go through at some point. It doesn't mean you have to hoard.
This is really, really sad. May she RIP. My brother just passed away @57. 55 is incredibly young.
It is incredibly young and so sad. Sorry about your brother. ❤
55 is not incredibly young, maybe you can say 40 is incredibly young but not 55, and 40 is a far cry and a stretch to claim is incredibly young. Simply look at the human organs and what state they body creates ADP, or whatever hormones and muscle building things, can recall because I'm 45, learned that age is just a number but past 40 is certainly old enough to pass and say it was a good life. Just sayin.
@@E.E.Wilson Sorry to offend you.
My husband died 2 years ago from pancreatic cancer. He was also 57. He hoarded computer items in large totes. After he died, I cleared out all of those totes. Everything was obsolete, so I threw it out. I cleaned out 28 large totes of his junk. I feel better that I don't have to deal with it later. His mother died 9 months before him, age 80. She had a storage unit (10 x 20) that I had to pay for. I sold everything in there for $500. I had nothing in there, so was happy to see it go. (Jan Griffiths).
@@douglasgriffiths3534 Got any apple IIs? Soundboards, or gen collector items??
George is such a good person. He sees this work as a calling. Bless him.
I like that he wants to help the family to remember the good things about the person.
This is the first hoarding show/episode I've fully watched and I was pleasantly surprised by how considerate and respectful George was about the woman and things that would be important to try and find and keep for the family. I've seen clips of American hoarding shows before and and don't recall them being so considerate.
Most of the US hoarders belongings are covered in excrement from cockroaches, mice, and rats. The US shows seem to show the worst of the worst type of hoarder. This poor lady appeared to be rather cleanly so her things were more likely to be salvageable.
This cleaner, George, is so kind. The world needs more people like him. ❤
Did anyone even know if she'd been sick? What was her cause of death? 55 is so young.
There was likely mold…that’s toxic to us
Many hoarders tend to be obese and have poor health since they don’t cook healthy meals or have decent hygiene. Obesity and heart attack seem likely.
Dude, look at how she lived. There's your answer. :/
@@MomeGnomeA lot of times, yes. People will get crushed by falling piles of stuff, or fall and break a hip and be unable to call for help. Plus there could be mould and bacteria and infestations of creatures carrying disease.
@@MomeGnome sorry - if she's hoarded food, there's possibility of mold, illness from eating expired food or trying to use dirty kitchenware to cook. Mold buildup can affect breathing, and clutter can be a trip hazard.
Accidents happen ...unfortunately. :'
Even if her family had known about the hoarding, I doubt they could have helped her. Even if they cleared everything out, she'd start filling it up again.
So true
Yup. I know that's true from personal experience.
Im glad they treat the victims of this illness as actual human beings who lived lives and had goals like any other person. I grew up to view shows like *Hoarders- Buried Alive* with great reproach in how they portrayed their guests as less-than human due to their illnesses. It sent a horrible message to audiences everywhere on how those struggling mentally should be scorned and ridiculed for way their disabilities impacted their lives. These videos highlight the elements thst shine through the illness they struggled with, choosing to define them not by the burden they carried but by the passion and love they held despite it.
He's right. As he held the small box of personal items, I thought back to the time I lost everything in a house fire. As traumatic as that was, many years later, I can truthfully say that the things it pained me the most to lose, would have fit into a box of that size.
I lost everything in a fire also. One day I noticed that I didn’t have any candles. The flames scare me
I had accumulated a lot living in the same house for over a decade. The house fell into disrepair and I couldnt afford upkeep. I looked aro und for the most sentimental things barely filled two boxes, left everything else behind and sold the house as is. I will never spend money or aquire something non essential ever again. It destroyed my mental state. I feel so much better now that its gone.
I was so heart broken, George you are a good man. Very compassionate. This story really moved me, because your story was amongst this lovely lady’s journey. Thank you. Love from Az-US 😊❤
They seem to be so much more caring,considerate and compassionate then some of these counterpart episodes I have watched.I liked this episode far better,not that it's not tragic...the things people do or dont do- will get u everytime!!
I have a situation where I have been building a home for myself, going on six years now. I've lived on the property for fifteen years. I began collecting items before I moved up here! Over the years I have continued to collect items for my new home (which is still not ready for occupancy), and the shop building that I currently live in is on it's way to becoming a hoarder's nest. Once in awhile I will pick up a pile of stuff just to see why I'm saving it. Much of it has deteriorated beyond use and gets thrown away. As I stop my business, take a realistic view of my living situation, I see how I could become a real hoarder. I see a very thin line that I really don't want to cross!
@richardbedard1245 It sounds like you may be in a rural or remote area. If not, I can recommend the 'Trash Nothing' online community. People post a picture of what they're giving away, or what they're searching for. There are often takers for remnant building and gardening materials, furniture etc. Or, your own local community may have a drop-off depot, or Freecycle online noticeboard.
I loved this clean up crew! Very empathetic and humane. The portrayal of how they handled their work, respected and discovered precious items was great. Also loved how they connected with of the family of the person who passed.
It’s insane how many hoarders seem to be nurses or teachers.
Yep!
My late mega-hoarder mom? Teacher. I hadn't noticed this pattern, but I will pay attention now.
So, so sad & just an outward representation of the clutter & pain occurring within. She sounds like she was an intelligent, kind & accomplished lady. She was clearly depressed & lonely & “stuff” became her distraction & dopamine hit. I appreciate how kind both the cleaner & BIL are & so sensitive re: this complex disorder. RIP, Annemarie, I hope you’re free of your pain now.
I suffered a lot of loss. Two fiancees and a best friend all in the last seven years. The knitting is therapeutic so I make blankets. Because I watch those show hoarders I make sure I gift every blanket I make. Now the yarn is a problem. I have bags of it. Everywhere. My kids say it’s manageable. I mean we’re not talking floor to ceiling we’re not even talking room is filled with yarn. But it’s a lot… For me. While I’m making a blanket, I don’t want to run out of color since I don’t drive and I will have to wait for it to be delivered. So I told my kids if something happen to me to donate the yarn. I don’t want my kids to find me surrounded by bags and bags of bags of yarn and none of them knit or crochet
My girlfriend has this “problem” too (crochets).
She stressed about it similarly to you, so I’ll just tell you what I told her (and it seems to have helped):
So long as it’s contained and organized (able to get X color out without bringing out a massive tangled mess (yes some tangles are fine)) then it really isn’t a problem.
She has a 3 drawer plastic container for her craft stuff, but I do plan to move into a bigger apartment at some point and make her a full on craft room. When we moved to our current apartment, we donated ~20lbs of yarn.
A friend of mine would make crocheted shawls for people battling illnesses like cancer. She called them angel shawls.
I'm a low level hoarder and recently I saw and felt the pain and stress my excess stuff (art supplies I 'could use some day', clothes I 'might wear some day') was giving my partner, so I've started giving away the good stuff to less fortunate people, considering I'm better off now than where I came from. Tossing the useless etc. I no longer need to hoard, I can buy the things I need and want... But the urge is still there 😩
This is to be admired! Having that tendency but working around it.
It breaks my heart that her family never visited and so had no idea she was in crisis. Hoarding is largely an effort to regain control when people feel like they have lost control. Then it gets out of hand. So sad. I hope that her family finds some peace.
My friend lived like this. The house was sold and the heat shut off and he was still trying to get a little of his stuff out but had no vehicle. He almost died one night when it went down to 10 F. He vowed to change with his lovely new apartment. Ended up filling one room with junk and empty bottles.
As someone who grew up with hoarders, I love that he found a way to give all those books a new life! And he saved some very beautiful memories for the family!
There’s a concept in South Korea called “lonely death” which is exactly what happened to Anne-Marie. She died alone in her home and it took awhile for her death to be discovered. You learn so much about someone just by going through their stuff.
A neighbor of mine who is a caretaker just moved. We visited when we passed outside of the apartment complex we both live in, she was always very clean kept. She told me that’s she was moving and I’d not seen any moving trucks.
The next day the apartment complex had a gang of trucks show up and it was at least 7 huge trucks of trash and books , chairs all from a 2 bedroom apartment. I was throughly shocked. Fast forward couple days later I went grocery shopping and saw her car pass me by, she put her hand by her head so not to see me. I felt so sad , she was older and I was fond of her, I just wanted to say to her that she is loved. I hope to one day tell her. Praying for all those in this type of prison.
I’ve tried so hard to understand this disorder, to no avail. I’m as perplexed by it as I ever was.
Please scream this louder 📢
I am perplexed too
Think of your ten favourite possessions. Imagine you have some peculiar or unusual sitiation that forces you to leave all behind except for these 10.
So here you are with your ten beloved objects and all your other things have been destroyed.
Now imagine your family turning up with a bunch of experts trying to convince you thast you have a mental illness and youll feel so much better once you decide which five of your "worthless trash" items to throw away..
Its something like that.
@@satsumamoonCompletely inaccurate.
Depression, loneliness and anxiety. ADD, Low self esteem or trauma as well. They build a wall so people can’t reach them while acting like everything is ok. It’s like a duck you see gliding across the pond yet their legs are pumping away underneath where you can’t see it.
Think of it as a brain disease. The hoard is the symptom of a brain that’s not working correctly. They’ve done Functional MRIs on people with various mental disorders, like eating disorders, OCD, phobias and hoarding. When a person with the disorder sees triggering images, their brain lights up in places a normal brain wouldn’t, and all these other fight or flight physiological responses kick in. To try to imagine what it feels like if you’re terrified of snakes and then wake up and see a snake in your bed. Now imagine they are feeling the same intensity of that response when someone threatens the hoard. The degree of distress and trauma can feel like it’s life or death.
What a kind and sensitive fellow....in the midst of this he works to help the family and give dignity to the poor lady that has passed under this illness.
AT least it was kinda clean and cleanable. Try that, plus 50 years of obsessive antique dealing and collection combined with decades of chain smoking, decades of inside cats without boxes, the last 25 years with no cleaner ever and a man with so many medical conditions he was too sick to go to appts many times. Some rooms had collapsed ceilings and vines growing thru all the rooms - just dangling from the rafters - like a dark swamp, and spider webs between the vine tendrills. Its not explainable the state we found the house in. For years he never let anyone inside. Now we know why.
Nightmare fuel!
Thank you for the compassion. My dad was sort of a hoarder. We had so much stuff in the basement and shed. It took a while to get rid of it. My mom collected things. Most of their things were donated. I am trying to ti collect many things because I don't want to stress out someone after i am gone.
Had an elderly uncle-in-law (divorced aunt 2 decades ago) recently discovered de@d in his apartment by police; coworkers noticed he didn't go to work in a while so reported to authorities. Apparently, he's passed many days earlier, slumped beside his bed.
People living alone need to be visited (his only son didn't over the years) and just settled with their texts/chats of small talk and brief how-are-you-just-fine conversation.
It's sad to think about elderly people passing alone and discovered weeks if not months later. To be fair, this guy didn't keep up with his son either so mutual care wasn't built at all.
My friends sister is a hoarder. It’s quite scary actually, they had dogs too, so whenever I go over to their place, there will be shit everywhere and dog shit too. It was disgusting. The hoarder will constantly buy things say “we need this”…. It’s very sad 😵💫. They moved away but my goodness… I hope she gets the help she need. She taught me to be simple and be a minimalist.
I like George. He seems to be a sweet understanding soul. He is in the job.
I totally understand the feeling of being overwhelmed. Of knowing you need a trailer or skip but not being able to afford it, knowing that if you start in one place then you have to have a place to put things while you clean an area out, and that and the physical pain & exhaustion stops you from starting. Wanting & needing help but being too embarrassed, even when people offer. Hating how your house looks so just not seeing it most of the time. Starting with just 10 mins a day, or 30 mins, or donating one bag to charity will make a big difference to both you & the people who you’re helping in the process. Don’t give up. And celebrate the feeling of achievement after every step, no matter how small. That little rush of dopamine is what will keep you going & make life better, not just your home. And know that there are people who truly understand.
I see these cases of accumulation and I have mixed feelings: sometimes I get angry, sometimes I feel sorry. I know it's a disease and that those who have it tend to lose track of reality and tend to suffer a lot, but I get angry at the fact that they destroy new things that are in good condition just because of illness. That's why I always try to keep my few possessions clean and in good condition. I don't want to find myself in this situation!
The saddest part about the illness of hoarding is that it so often isolates the hoarder so much from everyone around them, family and friends, and from what is really important, close connections and being part of the community. What George said at the end about a person's life being reduced to a shoebox is so true. I've had grandparents and aunts go into care homes, and all they could take with them was a small bag of clothes and belongings. None of them were hoarders, yet they had to give away things that had sentimental value. In the end, we don't take anything at all with us.
George is such a kind hearted special person. Seeing the good in a person that most would dismiss as a nut.
Thank you, George and crew.
George was so kind.
How sad for George, such a nice man. My condolences go out to him.
It's interesting to see the hoard cleared out without the hoarder there picking things to keep. This took three days. Had she been there, it would have been at least a week, and there still would have been a bunch of junk left.
yes
The sister "moved South" Possibly how far that no one visited her for twenty years. Sad. Notice how the sister is still not present.
I get the impression their relationship wasn’t as rosy as her husband portrays. I don’t really believe they or the rest of the family didn’t know. Hoarding can be spontaneous and tied to anxiety disorders, but a large portion of hoarders turn to hoarding after a significant trauma. It also has a habit of imploding the hoarder’s relationships.
It’s a mental disease. Like anorexia is with food, hoarding is with possessions. I think the hoarder sees it differently. So sad.
That was a pretty clean horde compared to what some horders do. Many suffer rat and mice infestation.
My mother-in-law was a secret horder in a mild sort of way. She ended up living in her front room and kitchen, which she kept clean. After she passed away, we found that she had horded decades of newspapers going back to the 1950s. They were neatly stacked up and filled all the upstairs rooms. My son, a civil engineer, said he reckoned the weight was probably endangering the structural integrity of the house.
Which reminds me, I need to clean up the clutter in our cellar, it's becoming a problem getting into it.
And at the end, non of this stuff makes a hoarder any happier. Years of horarded junk end up in a rubbish dump anyway. You can't take anything with you when you die. I feel sad for them. All that hoarding for nothing.
My grandmother and mom were/are both hoarders and they're the most miserable and emotionally volatile people I've ever met.
My auntie lives like this. She hoards expensive things. I once found a stack of 100% cashmere loungewear sets in every color. They were folded under bags of stuff from Nordstrom all with tags and receipts. She bought it, came home, set it down, and never looked at it again. Each set was about $300 bucks. She has about 200 pairs of Ferragamo shoes still in the boxes from the 90s and on..
Its super sad, she thinks its not a problem because it's not trash.
0:15 George is hoarding cigarette butts.😂
Have you ever investigated the Bill Clinton from the White House in America president of the United States they said on TV years ago I remember watching that they like to horde antiques from other countries in they wanted to take all the antiques home when they left the White House in 2001 so check up on Bill Clinton and his background all the stuff that they had from overseas that they brought home I know I saw it on TV years ago in 2010 talking about Bill Clinton was a hoarder antiques
Yes, I saw that and thought the same thing. 😂😂
"Your whole life can fit in a shoe box." Yes. All of us go through our parents' home at some point. And this is a deeply felt lesson from it.
I understand the need to assign an emotion or reason to keep things once they are no longer practical, but the sinks are always what do me in. I understand the reasons why people hoard food or may keep expired food, but it turns to moldy goo and is absolutely revolting. These shows remind me to clean out my closets, fridge and spring clean the house.
I’m a firefighter/medic and I’ve been in some hoarder houses and they’re usually really nasty. I understand that it’s a mental illness but it’s wild that people live like that.
What's really sad is mental illness has been stigmatized for so long that people just don't want to get help because they don't want to be thought of as crazy. Mental health is mental wellness. Just like going to a doctor for a cold or the flu is physical wellness. We need to stop stigmatizing mental healthcare and get people the help they need.