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Jordan Peterson - Get Over Your Fear of Rejection!
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- Опубликовано: 3 апр 2017
- original source: • 2017 Maps of Meaning 0...
Psychology Professor Dr. Jordan B. Peterson talks about how men are motivated by the image of female perfection. He describes the paradoxical situation of being terrified by the women you are most attracted to.
Dr. Peterson's new book is available for pre-order:
12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos: amzn.to/2yvJf9L
If you want to support Dr. Peterson, here is his Patreon:
/ jordanbpeterson
Check out Jordan Peterson's Self Authoring Program, a powerful tool to sort yourself out:
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When your Proff is teaching you game
Amu Bag Jan this made me chuckle
There are a few factors in natural remedies for shyness. One place I found which successfully combines these is the Seans Shy Program (check it out on google) it's the most helpful guide i've heard of. look at the amazing info .
"Excuse me: Professor Jordan Peterson on RUclips said I should ask fifty women for their number . . . . "
Gfy
Amu Bag Jan he's teaching you bullshit and doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about cuz he never even dated in his life. He married his high school sweetheart thirty years ago and still with her (that is sweet and nice but it doesn't make him an expert on dating). He doesn't know a damn thing about how to get women especially today's woman.
Moral of the story "don't put women on pedestal"
Essentially, you have to learn to become friends or even just interact with women like you would with any other human being
Edit: I've grown in my understanding of women since I made this comment three years ago. Men and Women are different and that requires thinking about women differently from how you would other human beings. Women want you to be stronger than they are, they want you to be able to take a rejection and turn it into a win, sometimes they'll pretend to reject you hoping that you will be persistent to prove that you are a willful man of action and principle who gets what he wants. This is based on the instinct to find a man who will provide for her and her children, no matter the odds or the cost.
What do you mean? Women are HuMEN? That's just false,
BoliTePicka it's not really that easy. Being friends with a woman is fine because most women aren't gonna reject friendship.
Yep, that's a big source of the problem. Women certainly do it too, but they usually idealize the RELATIONSHIP, thereby misunderstand the men in their lives.
Starioshka
You must realize that this all is based on HIStory.
I can very much relate to what Peterson is saying. My first love was manifisted in my mind kind of as the judge of my worthwhileness, I became almost obsessed over her and not because I liked her THAT much, but because deep inside, losing her would absolutely kill my sense of self worth. I think when we eventually ended our relationship, it wasn't her I was crying about, it was my bruised ego.
Are you me?! XD
deep, and real
I've done this so many times I gave up hope.
Never thought a person would feel exactly What i felt
This is the most relatable comment I've ever read. Thank you for putting it in words , something I've been struggling to do.
Man this dude is rewireing my fucking brain. Thank god
looks like you need some software update.
And how does your comment contribute to anything, reiwell? everyone needs to "update their software" on a daily basis, because there is no finished model of an omnipotent homo sapien who can be glorified and displayed as an example for you to strive to be like.
Peter Sagan I think he needs a software upgrade more so, hes still running DOS, what a dodo.
Definatly, ive just started going through a lot of this guys lectures and damn its eyeopening :D
VonGrav thats fine and everything, but consider petersons lectures as strong opinions rather than objective science. Youll thank me later.
this nigga's on point
This should be top comment. Had me chuckling for ages.
It's funnier today than 2 years ago, since political correctness has made life so fucking dull.
I don't know why, but this this actually made me laugh. Amazing comment!
He said nigga so it's funny hahahaha.
I hate that people won’t let me use the nigga word, just because I’m white... :(
Abdi essa die Not necessarily, is it? People use "nigga" all the time non racistly. It doesn't have racist meaning. at least, I don't use it that way!
When you start valuing and respecting yourself enough, you simply don't care about rejection anymore. Rejection is a big part of life and you will always be rejected for lots of things, probably more so than you are getting accepted. But you have to go through all the "no's" in order to get the "yes". Worst thing you can do is to give up or not try anymore. Then you simply fail life.
True tough pill to swallow
ive heard this and similar other stuff lots but the way you wrote this - it's the best thing i've ever read...
You should write a book...please
True
not necessarily, you can be successful at your job and loving it after getting turned down by other employers, but there is a trade off, with women, not so much, so it is not really a failure, but rather a blessing.
Just like some are encouraging men to quit porn, I (as a female) encourage women to quit facebook, instagram, and any other cognitively-depreciating poisons which sabotage our climb to self-actualization. Learn how beautiful it is to take care of your body and your soul and nurture your femininity in constructive hobbies that do not involve gossip or revolve around others.
NobodysBusiness amen 🙏
NobodysBusiness awesome awesome comment
NobodysBusiness Women such as yourself make up about 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% of the female population, and that is a tragedy.
Chilly Davis more like men and women population combined.
NobodysBusiness Best and most relevant comment of our generation.
I think the oversexualization of our society is a big part of the problem. Men have been fed a line that sex should be pretty much all we want and that beauty is the most prized thing we could ever go after. Meanwhile women have been fed the idea that sexual liberation is both physically and emotionally satisfying while also being politically meaningful and good and "empowering" or whatever. So men have been put under extreme pressure to live up to some macho stereotype of being "Alpha Males" i.e. getting as much sex from as many attractive women as possible; and women have been socially pressured to play along with this by so called "Sex positive" feminism and a culture of rampant promiscuity and open sexuality which we clearly see all around us.
Unsurprisingly this is all very disorienting for men who are being simultaneously told to not objectify or sexualize women, but at the same time are being told to "Slay as much pussy" as possible, otherwise, in some basic sense, you are "Not a real man". Just think about the film The 40 Year Old Virgin. The entire premise of that film is that the protagonist is some sort of a freak, a laughingstock or whatever, just because he has not had sex yet at the age of 40. This is an entertainment industry that utterly epitomizes shallowness, degeneracy, immaturity and a sort of mindless self-indulgent attitude that I believe is totally toxic, in addition to being utterly contemptible. This is roughly the message that the media, Hollywood and popular culture on the whole sends to men.
Unsurprisingly this has resulted in millions of males becoming weirdo shut-ins who are addicted to porn and terrified of real women. We need to take a step back and re-assess this whole thing. Men and women should be able to communicate with each other and become friends and build relationships in a very gradual, natural manner without all this pressure to "seal the deal". After all, should women be reduced to sex objects ultimately by men in their lives? I don't think so! At the same time, a man should feel that it is the RIGHT thing to do to get to know someone very closely before even considering any type of physical intimacy. Our society used to believe in chastity and abstinence, now we have taken things to the opposite extreme and, surprise surprise, people are out of their minds and thoroughly dysfunctional over this chaotic and disorienting sexual revolution which has happened over the past century. It's time that we TALK to each other and build genuine trust and mutual respect instead of just looking for the next bang on Tinder, because sooner or later people need to recognize that when you cheapen sex to the level we have done, it actually makes people less happy and less emotionally stable, not more happy or stable.
fusion772 Epic rundown, can't knock a word of your analysis. Best thing to do is connect with nature as much as you can, that means cutting down stimulation via screens, interacting with your family, friends and wider community face to face more often, and looking outwards instead of always looking inwards.
fusion772 Well put! I appreciated your comment very much!
This time might be recognized as the sexual devolution.
fusion772. I'm no Judd Appatow fan but your reading of The 40 Year Old Virgin is too simplistic. He is regarded as a freak by his friends, and it is a little strange for a man of that age to have never had sex, particularly as he is unable to have a romantic relationship because of that. The film is critical of his friends who have their own issues with sex and women. If you are suggesting it is a normal and natural thing for a middle aged man to be a virgin and celibate I think it is you and not society which has the issue.
I don't think the film is critical of them, it just mindlessly finds amusement in the bizarre behavior of all those guys. You give shitty Hollywood comedies way too much credit for actually making deep points about quirks of our society.
Your interesting use of terms like "Normal" and "Natural" aren't really compelling. Why so defensive, bro? I am not a 40 year old virgin, LOL. You aren't really making much of an argument here aside from suggesting that exceptional cases of aged virgins should feel like they have an "issue" because they are in in that position because it isn't "Normal" and "Natural"
One of my teachers once told me, "It only has to work once." I think once you understand that concept, you start to realize that you don't have to hope beyond hope for it to work. You just have to be your best self and eventually, it will work.
I understand what you’re saying on an intellectual level but I still feel fear of rejection
Every time you're scared to hit on a girl, think of it this way - do you think you're a good person? special? cool in your own way? I bet you are. If she's sad, will you be there for her? If she's happy, will you want to help her be even happier? If so then all I'm hearing is you being an amazing benefit in her life. If that's the case, she should be thankful that she's so lucky, having a guy/girl like you wanting to be part of her life!
Worst case scenario - she rejects you? Her loss. It only means you're 1 girl closer to the one who will appreciate you.
Thats certainly one way to look at it, and from a female perspective it might sound right. But it's not as easy as you put it. Rejection is burden, and reoccurring rejection can be soul crushing. Women get to pick their man from the entirety of men who hit on them. Thats why I don't see how a women would be able to understand this situation from the perspective of a man who isn't considered good looking
After I've read this message i scrolled up to look at the name and sure enough its a "Sharon". This is just a comforting fantasy.
Let's be realistic.. Power, Money, Womeп.. now that's real-in that order. I've lived life and that's how it happens 97% of the time. That's what i taught my sons and it does work like magic! They may not be rich but they have businesses and talents-that draws in the big fish in the sea
It's a double edged sword: you can think you are so good for her (and technically you can be the best man on the Universe) but you can be the opposite what she wants - you are friendly and talkative and she needs someone silent and introverted and so on, so do not put thoughts like "what a stupid woman she lost the best man ever" - that is actually harmful for you too. It should be an acception and introduction for you a new side of this world, not the opposition and irritation. Eventually you will like get to know something more about this life.
@@kaboom6157Like gold diggers ?
Please define what being a good person actually means.
My friends and I would play a game like this. We'd go to some far away city (where we'd know nobody and we'd never have to return) to go out to bars and clubs and would actively try to get rejected and would keep score (most rejections wins and loser would need to be designated driver next time).
Like, use the corniest pick-up lines we could think of, thinking "this is bound to get me rejected, because I look like a complete idiot". Using the pick-up lines that are joked about but nobody seriously uses (like stamping on some ice from a drink and saying "so, now the ice is broken").
What we learned very quickly is that girls don't give a fuck what you do, as long as you show clear interest. They'll laugh at the stupidest things imaginable, as long as you bring it without fear. And being somewhere where we'd never be again, and having the shared knowledge with your friends that rejection was what you're going for took away all fear. We'd rack up more phone numbers than rejections every single time, often making out with tens of girls a night.
And what was particularly surprising is that what seemed to be a winning strategy, namely going up to girls that are obviously there with another boy already, or even boyfriend, was actually not a sure-fire way to get rejected at all. Often they'd even propose to ditch the other guy and go elsewhere, would slip you her phone number or have a friend bring it to you.
And we definitely weren't pretty guys by any stretch of the imagination. I can really recommend doing this to any boy or man.
Hahaha good on you! I have to agree men who are confident are attractive.
Terrence Koeman only one problem: all my friends are married
yosharian Get a wing
Yup, as a girl I can confirm this, confidence is extremely attractive. If some guy would be brave enough to come to me and talk and etc. I would be very surprised and if guy was cool I would be very pleased too. Problem is, in my entire life - only old drunken chavs have come up to me and talk, to try to get somewhere with me, obviously sexually, that feels disgusting.
It's hard for me to buy the whole, 'confidence is sexy' thing. I don't know if it's because it's just not true, or if it's the fact that as a man, I'm not actively looking for confidence in women as a source of attraction. If a woman is hot or cute, I don't care how confident she is.
Just made a huge achievement in regards to fearing rejection. I’ve always had a deep pathological fear of being romantically rejected that I wouldn’t even acknowledge. Would date women who were obsessed with me that I had little interest in to avoid this. When you finally show someone who you really are or what your feelings are and accept that they might reject you for it you feel a great sense of pride and relief regardless of the outcome
2:18 Kermit Mode activated.
lmfao
Loool
top kek
I lolled! Thank you!
Made my day
I love Jordan B Peterson. I'm cleaning my room right now as a tribute to him. He really is the philosopher for lost young men like me. And yes, I've been motivated by women a lot, basically the whole reason I started exercising regularly was because of women and I also started taking more social action and risks and found RSD.
dochmbi I think I will do the same!
REDnEDD what's rsd?
I‘m gonna clean my room because of this too right now!
Love it
The difference between being a creep and being persistent:
Persistent people are 7 or above
garen kalloghlian that is such an incel mindset
Creative Name100 it was a joke as a whole and personally I think that rejection is something that shouldn’t be feared but instead looked for because it helps in future social interactions however there is an underlying truth to my point being that the reason guys come off as “creepy” is due to the women not wanting with the underlying intention of the guys( to have sex) and this is expressed by being creeped out, however if the girl is attracted to the guy than she usually will agree with his Intentions
you are absolutely correct
Embrace your inner beast, go to the Himalayas for 2 years. Learn to crawl, hunt and eat like a bear. Once you've shed your outer shell of pussification. Rejection will be the least of your worries.
😂😂 omg pussification
you need more likes
Hahahahah
2 years in nature where theres no ppl, and then you came back to society out of touch. yeah no that wont work.
Yeah but then you have to deal with Ras Al Ghoul. Sounds rough to me.
Ok John Smith.
35 hours of classes and this is the most interesting thing I've learned all week. In 4 minutes
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you dont take
-Wayne Gretzky"
-Michael Scott
For the best relationship advice, watch Jordan B. Peterson and Patrice O'Neal videos.
You'll get sorted out straight away.
O and A!!!
Any specific video by Patrice O'Neal you recommend?
There's a short Patrice O' Neal video called "Brazil", which has a lot of good points by Patrice (from the Black Philip Show), despite his coarse language and some things I completely disagree with. I just looked up the other Black Philip Show videos, and they are all around 2 hours each.
REALLY!
I would add the Mating Grounds podcast for science based advice.
Asking a girl out in Toronto:
Guy - "Hi."
Girl - "ARE YOU SEXUALLY HARASSING ME? You creep!"
you didn't even get to the asking out part. my suggestion is that you ask her out with your lawyer present. then you can get all the proper paper work sorted out as well if she says yes.
+Rob Vel Yeah you'll definitely need that lawyer present for when she inevitably presses charges on you.
If that's the reaction you get, you probably are a creep. ^^'
Jeb, the girl says ARE YOU SEXUALLY HARASSING ME? because you are low energy....
+max and. So next time should I give her a nice warm kiss?
I got over my fear of rejection once, by getting drunk enough to approach a girl who I assumed would say no because she looked out of my league. To my astonishment she engaged me, and suddenly I had nothing to say, since I didn't figure getting past "hi, how are you?" or whatever it was I said. I eventually had to just walk away crippled because I didn't know what to say or do next.
All life is rejection not just relationships but everything.
Yeah I agree on that statement. Why do wars exist? Because of a rejection from another person's idea.
not true
I reject that idea
Patrick McCoy well usually wars simply come down to competition.
A battle of two sides who have opposing ideological thoughts...but often it can just simply be put down to dominance, competition and a large scale fight for resources.Two men punching each other over a girl is basically a small scaled war with no weapons. A fight for a resource (being the female) the winner doesn't necessarily win the girl but back in 10'000 BC most of the time he probably did. The other is rejected.
Sorry to hear that bro, must be hard for you...
Jordan Peterson demonstrating brilliance as usual!
Not just young men. I'm 34 and just now getting over my fear of women. If our families fail to show us how to deal with women society takes over and we all know the nerd stalking the woman never works out in real life.
im 18, at 12 year old I gived my first kiss, I was shy like really really shy, so what I did was enjoy the moment, don't care about what are the girls thinking about me, so I just was myself and I even got a gf for a short period of time, but it was pretty good the experience, it opened me the female perspective, when I was with my gf it wasn't that good to be with her, because my expectations where way too high, so to be honest, being with a girl is just something normal, just dont stress about it , good luck.
Jordan Peterson is the most red pill professor ever.
If you know this ideology, then you will know why OP said it. It's preached night/day on the forums.
Cold approaching regularly helps you negate your fear of rejection. Jordan Peterson isn't wrong about that and neither are some tenets of the Red Pill.
Reverse Halo Effect.
Yes shut up before I send u to gulag for spearing wRonG ideas
Peterson believes very strongly in relationships and marriage unfortunately (and I say this as a born female woman. marriage is horrible for women too and women need to get on board with that. feminists have only been telling us NEVER marry a man since the 50s and we still don't listen. I didn't listen myself) and he's been "very happily married" for 30 years. None of that is redpill babe.
@@angelbunny8681 how can u say that with a straight face with the way divorce court is set up. Marriage is a huge risk for men
@@owenglancy1002that's one of the biggest LIES men have ever perpetrated on women (the biggest being that we should destroy our bodies and give up our freedom to raise your medicore spawn for 18 + years). Men INVENTED marriage for their benefit. Everybody over 12 knows who's even had one chapter of a history book knows this.
It's not ideal for ANYBODY(except lesbians. studies show that married lesbians live longer than women married to men--as people who are married to women do tend to live longer. Even married gay men die sooner then straight men married to women).
Straight married men report in multiple studies on happiness to be the happiest people on the planet--the most miserable of all groups single or married _are married straight women._ I believe it I don't know a one that is happy. I wasn't either. Google "happiness study married men, married women". Also the Business Insider a male-dominated magazine did an article last year called "we really need to stop acting like marriage makes women happy" about 4 different studies will come up from various sources proving everything I just said.
Drop the male victim complex with me. Save it for your internet bubble of circle jerking with other males. To me it's just effeminate and unmasculine.
I *NEED* this cardigan in my life. I see this thing in my sleep. What JC Penney is Peterson shopping at?
HAHA
DamTheKid KOHLS, im wearing one right now
KOHLS is about to be sold out of them shits.
you know he is right
this is why i love internet
I remember watching this at the beginning of the year.
I realize that even in my late 20s I still suffer from “this”.
This was medicine.
I think women also really love to fill the role of the ideal woman. As a young person who has dated a few people seriously, usually in long-term, committed relationships, I agree 100% that, to be very close relationally with a girl, guys have to "sacrifice the ideal woman." But women LOVE to be praised for their beauty and charm, and personally I think it's no small joy to feel like I've been appreciated for my femininity, even somewhat superficially.
I also think it's a beautiful interaction, fueled by biology--and it's true that a lot of women don't fully grasp the power and potential damage that we can have! For example, accepting a compliment sweetly, appreciating when someone holds the door, and responding to a romantic invitation with graciousness. Of course there are plenty of entitled jerks out there, but I have found that kindness breeds more kindness and there are only a few times that I've had to put my foot down with guys being too forward; it seems a larger amount of guys have relative shyness towards women and I won't let a handful of entitled assholes ruin all men's reputation.
Nobody has addressed the ratio properly. Firstly, the douchebags and criminals are the only ones that talk to women regularly. The other 99% are eternally passive and their only hope is to "get lucky". They do try a few times but because the women are used to overly arrogant men they have no chance.
It's a sad state of affairs. But hey, we have Tinder now... sigh
hey, judgmental ideal.. wanna go out with me??
no?
sigh
49
Thanks for your thoughts Sarah. Your kindness and grace are appreciated. “There is also love in the world”.
@@augusticeland1173 I think patrice o neal summed it up the best. "You have to have the right amount of arrogance and the right amount of humility to get a woman."
And i wouldnt say arrogance. Its more like valuing yourself highly to where if she aint into you then you think ok thats her loss. But you cant value yourself too highly or you become a pompous asshole. Thats where the humility comes in. You have to have the ability to look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself what is wrong with you and aim to fix it. But you cant have too much humility otherwise you are seen as a self deprecating loser who lack confidence.
This is all why its so important to get started ASAP on figuring out women, as a straight male. From your baseline instincts & with little experience, youll have to trudge through so much rejection and discomfort that youll likely feel overwhelmingly inadequate as a person (speaking from my experience), but you have no other option than to face it head on. Not only will you surely fail with the first women you try to be with, youll also have to sift through many of them to find out which traits you value, and which you are willing to sacrifice, in comparing the real girl to the ideal vision of the female Peterson talks about. If you dont go through this initial struggle, youll likely end up in shallow/fake relationships, or settling for someone else desperate. All this of course is based on the assumption that you seek a stable, loving relationship like i did. Good luck, and remember, it wont come naturally, youll have to abandon your comfort zone in ways you never have before
This man is a blessing
blessed means b less... be less... rebuke it!!
watching this *after* being rejected is quite the experience lol. I’m still kinda going through it but it’s less because of the rejection and more because of the blowback afterwards. oh well. life goes on
I tried this, If I saw a random girl on the street, bus or on campus i'd go up to them and politely ask for their number. Complete strangers. It was terrifying at first, but after a few times it became more natural and not as jarring.
Conclusion:Rejected * many times = getting rid of the fear of rejection.
What about self Respect
I don't think that's so easy, like "stop being an asshole and ask her". My problem is that the girls I really liked rejected me, and that...killed me inside. I think people miss the point, it's not the fear of rejection coming from unknown girls, it's from girls you really like that's paralyzing. For me, the line that destroyed me was a girl I loved, I mean, REALLY LOVED HER. We were friends and enjoyed each other's company. Unfortunately she had a boyfriend that in the end turned husband.....that was the end of me brothers...almost 8 years after and I still can't shake the pain of the negative, like Hegel once said....
I've known this for a long time and still find a task like asking 50 girls for their phone numbers one of the personally most challenging things to overcome in the world. There is probably no other thing where my rational knowledge translates so poorly to my actions. It's a process and I'm always trying to get better, because beating yourself up as you did not manage to do something again is not helpful at all and just seems to enlarge the mental barrier. It's tough, but overcoming this is specific anxiety of approach and rejection is what I need to break through on the road to mental freedom.
As Jordan Peterson said it in different context: Speaking up is dangerous and not safe. Doing nothing is even more dangerous as you don't get anything out of it. Everything we do and don't do has an impact.
Wish me strength people, not giving up on this!
I’ve watched videos like this I don’t know how many times already, and I’m terrified of asking women out from a bad history of rejection. I may have let this fear root deep into my self-esteem for so long that it’s already too late to change it.
its never to late. go out and always challenge your fears. You only live once and we should all do everything we can to do anything we want (as long as it comes from a good place)
Y'all, I'm a girl and honestly, just be yourself when you like someone. Don't be heartbroken if they reject you because there's so many other people out there that are better.
You can also be terrified of commitment as well as rejection
@@imadmoujahid3431 Same. I somehow end the conversation quickly without me(innerself) wanting and just say bye.
Unlike many many others in the same field. this man really know what he’s talking about.
A lot easier said than done, most people with a fear of rejection cant even ask ask 1 girl. I bottle it every time.
DuncanTheKekistani damn. I use to be that way. Now for me its just like why bother. If i force myself to ask i can. Goid luck man
50 numbers in a single day? that sounds really painful.
cruhg that's the point
NuclearByte That’s the point. You’re not supposed to give a shit.
I'm gonna try this except it'll be over the course of the rest of the year
stop watching porn. stop mausterbuating. lift heavy weights. eat good food. get plenty of sleep.
and praise kek
Citizen of Kekistan reeeeeeeeeeeee
Shadilay
what does lifting weights have to do with it?
Looking healthy (and being) is a big plus, it say that you take care of yourself
Among a lot of others thing......
Also women love that shit, they will lie when asked
don't be afraid of rejection, just 'Stand out and shout' and never forget this' those that are willing, they are the ones that ultimately gain' everything'
Peterson's saying can be related to many situations. Fear always conceals itself as the most terrified image that frightened you from trying to do it again. But we have to continually do it, face it and overcome it! Thank you Professor!
"Get over your fear of rejection"
Me: *No, I don't think I will*
Quantum thats me...
You should though
Same here
Same
I don't have a fear of rejection, or a need for acceptance. The only thing I want in life is to be the best I can be.
PRECISELY
Fear of rejection is the seed that starts to grow into learning to play the game better and more morally whilst developing your own ideal self in the process.
you must sacrifice your waifu.......
Joan Osborne take my waifu, i take your lifeu
Waifu is lifeu
Nooooo, not my waifu
I'll give you anything
One of the reasons Japan's birthrate is so low is because some of them don't want to "sacrifice the ideal woman" as Jordan Peterson put it either because they're afraid of rejection or they think 2D is better than 3D.
Just came here to say that this video has an exceptionally great thumbnail.
I tried this but got rejected and now I'm gay.
Gays reject too, allegedly
Well I only know female rejection and yes its pretty bad, as it really shows how ruthless and cynical women can be.
22grena. There is no reason why they should accept your advances. It is neither a sign of ruthlessness or cynicism for women to reject a man they don't fancy, any more than it is ruthlessness or cynicism for a man to find an overweight or unattractive woman undesirable.
I am talking about long term relationships and women's utter ruthlessness when things go slightly wrong.
I doubt there is a great deal of difference between the sexes in terms of ruthlessness in relationships of any type. I think behaviour will be far more dependent on personality types across both genders.
same with applying for jobs...
nothing more scary than putting yourself out there, and receiving the opinion that you're not good enough to get the job... it's tough but it's just the process of life
sometimes asking out 30 different girls is worth it if it means finding that one person that appreciates you for you
He's right. When I was 4 years old I've encountered a very beautiful girl of the same age, and she didn't approve or pay attention to my advance, or should I say I was too afraid to put advances forward, instead I destroyed her beauty because of what might have happened if I were to told her how much in love I was with her. So afraid of rejection from woman that I chickened out before even trying.
Up until now I was relatively indifferent to feminine beauty and I realized why I was so unfulfilled and unwilling to engage in relationship with woman.
Fortunately I'm only 20 and I've realized this that "early".
I don’t have time for relationships and if a woman hits on me she better make it obvious otherwise I miss it by miles.
RSD Jordan
Haha
Dead 😂
It's very true, women are ultimately a huge motivation for us men whether we like it or not, whether it be directly or indirectly. I'm not saying 100% of our motivations are women but it's a pretty huge chunk.
If you're a dude and are feeling unmotivated, my advice: Take a break from masturbation/porn, after a while you will feel insanely motivated. The trick is to keep it stable, don't go haywire and try to get in every woman's pants you see, you have to transmute that sexual energy into usefulness, motivation, drive, and ultimately happiness.
Sexual energy/motivation is VERY strong.
I Love how it makes the hitmarker sound every time he hits his mic
ah, the old 'get rejected until you learn to handle it' aproach.
ah, the old 'emotionally underdeveloped and using a childrens cartoon as escapism' approach.
Osten Pontus lol savage
lol you can be in to cartoons and not be in escapism, regardless I found your comment funny haha
Try to think of women as people rather than The Other.
Cuz that's all we is.
Of course it is easier said than done but It is the only viable option, at least that I have heard, to force once life to a better and more stable path. Even though the action it self is exhausting and brings at least temporal suffering on the individual. One step at a time to build the more stable and stronger you. It is normal to fall back down but there is a higher probability that life will be better if you pick yourself back up.
If u wanna get over rejection, apply to graduate schemes... u'll get damn used to rejection D:
He did it to me again. Again, it's something that we all know intuitively but when he puts it in such a well articulated format it just starts to make so much sense. Even if you know something, you need someone like Dr. Peterson to keep telling you that thing in a convincing manner repeatedly, because the brain is horrible at being rational and objective concerning itself, and very very good at being self-deprecating.
The reason why I'm scared of rejection is I spent my whole lofe building an empire of character that could in one moment in my mind be just a flippant idea through the rejection of a woman.
Yet another man who lives his life as an asshole who looks nice and has money will be able to get that very same woman. You have to appeal to their convoluted emotions by bringing yourself down to their level. Only a smart woman with a good eye for the future will love a good man for who he is.
Is the juice worth the squeeze?
No.
Yes, pussy juice is delicious
99% no
I'm a female but I can confirm that it's not really worthy....live your life.
NO
God bless this man. He has helped me lots during times of deep sorrow and troubles.
They're just as imperfect as us. That helps me. If anything, sometimes just as clueless. That gave me confidence
Thanks for putting the original source in there
I think to get over rejection you have to get comfortable with the fact that she’s not as awesome and perfect as she looks. She’s human and has irritating flaws. Then get more self confidence by realizing your value hasn’t changed or lowered just because someone isn’t in love with you. You should only be concerned if God himself says he doesn’t love you. But that will never happen so you’re good
Not terrified. Tired. Big difference.
The Grouch same
Such an accurate abstract formulation of real-life phenomenon... Awesome!
thanks again Jordan, whenever i am troubled, i searched RUclips for guidance and you're always there.
Ask 50 women. Get rejected by 49. Settle for the one that resembles where bacon comes from and cauliflower.
I haven't performed this test but from my compilation of experience and own interactions with a wide array of women, I have complete confidence that if anyone did ask 50 women for their number, while giving the needed context and politeness to not repulse and alienate them, that they'd end up with much more than one number. Women are far from the beasts us men view them as - ironically I suppose, they're the kinder and empathetic of the two genders.
No you only ask ones your attracted to
@SpyengoEen Bro that's great as fuck man! Most people don't even try so good for you!
You know what’s strange? I started telling myself ok next time I see a pretty girl I’ll ask her for her Instagram or something and not to worry if they reject you cause you’ll never see them again mentality. Which was incredibly hard not gonna lie the first girl I ask I was saying to myself what am I doing?
She was very jolly about it and she told me her IG! After building up to it, now we talk occasionally and I haven’t had the balls to do it again. Even though I didn’t get rejected It feels weird to walk up to someone in public and be so direct. Always feel if I were to approach a girl I would be disturbance... I don’t mind dying a virgin idk why I try sometimes.
I feel you man. Sometimes we are bound only by ourselves.
you are talking about THE GAME , right there, mr. Peterson !
THE GAME of Mystery, RSD Tyler, Neil Strauss, Richard La Ruina, Matador, Julien Blanc!
Jordan nails it. His exercise for weakening rejection is equally effective in sales and business.
By intentionally exposing yourself to repetitive rejection, especially in a burst (ex. 50 "No's" in a day), you in essence inoculate your ego against the paralysis of future rejection.
suppressing woman idealization is to suppress love, desire emotions and feeling. So if it that is the price to get an actual woman i prefer to keep foolin myself in poetry. My ideal wife is a muse not an individual, and i ll keep looking for her all my life, no matter if eventually she rejects me or doesnt exist, i prefer to believe in love than cold pragmatism
stephen H but thats gonna make everything beyond worse. Everybody has their limits so how long you can go like that untill just reaching the point of boiling. Not so long i would say because we are social beings and we are not patient when it comes to relationships. So what i try to say is just embrace reality rather than a pathetic escape.
Honestly though you guys, being a woman I'd LOVE to be in your situation. I'd love for it to be universally desired in a woman that she's independent, an achiever, can take a punch, thinks logically, speaks her mind and does what she wants.
Instead, most men are scared of me, I've been told.
You have male traits and a male personality, no wonder men shunt you
That just makes you dangerous.
I'm pretty numb to dating and relationships now at 26. This advice would have really helped me at 16. I feel like if I would have had more successes with women earlier on in life, I would feel better about life over all now. I don't care anymore, I've swallowed too many red pills, and gone too deep down too many rabbit holes. I will never be able to feel about a women now the way I would have at 18 or 20.
Thank you God for Jordan Peterson. I can finally start living again. Thank you sir. Thank you for turning around my life.
this guy robbed mr. rogers closet
LOL
Master class
He's absolutely right. I was terrified at first too but after trying and failing I now feel very confident about approaching and dating women. And rejection does not affect me at all because of the amazing experiences I had with women. You can't expect every girl to like you, it's impossible. You just try again next time. You have to be willing to make a fool out of yourself to succeed greatly. If not, forget it and just marry your neighbor or something. Dating apps can really help you at the beginning but then at some point you have to let go and approach them in person and learn about chivalry and sexual attraction. Also start approaching less pretty girls (and thus less intimidating) are a great help too. You just have to have to get more and more experience (= more and more confidence) to get the ball rolling. Keep challenging yourself in different ways by approaching more attractive girls, girls from other countries and eventually girls that are actually your type so you end up with THAT girl. Trust me, the feeling of rejection is nothing compared to how the amazing experiences with women will make you feel. It's really worth it, believe me. I can't even remember the rejections anymore.
" If not, forget it and just marry your neighbor or something" - please don't do that! I always point out on a marriage of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner - you'll get nothing but the shame and disappointment of that kind of relationships (he didn't like her from the beginning).
An interesting behaviour I notice is that men, both old and young, get insanely angry when I ask them to leave me alone - which I do extremely politely (arguably too politely)..
On another note, this video is incredibly motivating for confidence in public speaking. I am scared and nauseous about it, but genuinely excited to do it continually and go through all sorts of embarrassment. Thanks JP, best moral support I could wish for!
The Key here is quite simply; never go after a woman. The juice is not worth the squeeze.
u failed to slay the dragon
@S G Reproducing isn't as much of an accomplishment now as it was before large civilizations were built. Almost anyone who is relatively healthy can have children now.
I will not kneel before the image of the eternal feminine. Thanks.
Robert Harvey B e n d T h e K n e e >> G e t P u s s y
That image will kneel before me, iffyaknowhatimean
You probably already have though: as a child... to your mother. Whoops.
The problem is that I don't treat the women I'm attracted to as easily replaceable, because to me they're not. They usually have something about their personality and traits that is rare to find. I fear not being able to find someone else like that should I fail
This is actually so relatable. This is the predicament I'm in right now:
I feel like I'm not enough for the woman I want, she is so special to me so I do not want to mess up my chance with her but by getting better I potentially miss my shot with her because she may find someone else who is in a better spot because of time passing. But if I do approach her and she rejects me it will probably destroy me because of my already bad sense of self-worth to zero and I have no idea what I will do then. It might sound cliché but she, along with my past rejections with women is my main motivator for me becoming a better version of myself so that hopefully the woman of my dreams will come to me instead when I'm at the top of the mountain.
I think for myself personally it’s not that simple. Rejection started for me the day I was born I was abandoned and rejected at birth. It’s still something I carry to this day and afraid of going out there because of rejection
Could you add in the description, next to the link to the original source, the time where he talks about this in the original video? I love these short videos but sometimes I want to keep listening to what he has to say, I would greatly appreciate it and I'm sure others would too.
Philosophical playa.
He's the only speaker I give a like even before hearing the speech. He never disappointed me
Well this guy just articulated my thoughts I've been having for the past couple years after reflecting upon my past failures with women.
I do not know if females ever felt rejected from me. I am an introvert myself and a total anti-social. I seen females look at me and smile at me, but when I do not smile back, I can sense the anger in these females. They have there frown upside down, and have the look that they are having a bad day.
You're delusional.
Korean Peninsula lol me too. Im too shy to smile back myself. I will conquer it though. I have to. I love women
Tried this in BC. Someone knows an affordable lawyer?
The ideas he describing touches something deep within my core perspective. It makes me feel like people should start understandimg this. And if they do understand this then ask yourself why
I feel like it is the same thing with playing (instrument, acting etc pp) in front of an audience. You get good and feel "comfortable" after doing it a thousand times (in a row).
Jordan Peterson: you cannot have an ideal woman
Weebs: Allow is to introduce ourselves
Wonder what Peterson's take on Elliot Rodgers is. I think his fear of rejection made him who he was.
He talks alot about folks like Elliot Rodgers and the Colombine kids, their pathology is quite interesting.
Women are the causes of lots of issues. And they don't take any responsibility for it.
^^^^ Speak of the devil, and he shall come. Lmao
Your videos have given so much meaning in my life respects for your work
A must watch for Entrepreneurs and people in Sales.
what a MAN!
In this perspective, it's like women have the power. But, more often than not, I personally don't feel like that's the situation.
I understand what he means and I'm not saying he implied that women always have the power in the courting situation. I think this fear of rejection is true to anyone who tries to pursue someone who they deem superior, out of their league.
Really attractive guys, who know that they're* attractive and have a lot of attention from women, are just as "awful" as the hottest girl at the club to you guys.
Rayana nahh guys keep around alot of females from 5's to 10's even if he knows he's hot or w/e but if a girl is attractive she will not date or have sex with guys below her perceived self-worth unless she is tricked into doing so ...is by a guy putting up a facade
Women have the problem that they are tied to being reactive in dating rather than proactive. There's not a lot of rejecting to be done if men don't offer themselves to you. Be sure to watch that video of his on the pareto distribution in dating too btw. Real eye opener.
cant find the video .. if you can put up the link please.
But what the hell does it mean when a girl you like goes from usually responding to your text and proactively responding and talking to you but I tried to compliment her and she never responded and according to one our mutual friends she wants to hang out with me but she dosent like me romantically but for some reason she told her not to tell me that so Iin turn I’m very confused and I have no clue wtf to do plz help -sincerely a very confused teenage boy
@@SHDWFocus wdym
Thank you so so much for posting these videos. I watch them often but not often enough and practice what Jordan says even less. But thank you. These videos make me look at my shit instead of having my head in a safe hole.
This is precisely what I did like 9-10 years ago ( when I was 20-21 )...
It worked .