Menopause and Divorce
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
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- About Dr. Mary Claire Haver and The Galveston Diet -
Dr. Mary Claire Haver is board certified in Obstetrics and Gynecology and is a Certified Culinary Medicine Specialist from Tulane University. She is a Louisiana State University Medical Center graduate and completed her Obstetrics and Gynecology residency at the University of Texas Medical Branch (UTMB). She is also a Certified Menopause Specialist through The Menopause Society.
Dr. Haver was a clinical professor at UTMB and The University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston. Dr. Haver has served as a Hospitalist, Associate Residency Director, and Assistant Professor in her career. In 2021 she opened Mary Claire Wellness, a clinic dedicated to caring for the menopausal patient.
Dr. Haver has amassed over 3 million followers across social media by posting advice for women going through menopause. She understands that menopause healthcare is in dire need of change and is proud to be leading the conversation.
Her educational background and her own experience led Dr. Haver to develop the national bestselling book and online program, The Galveston Diet, a three-pronged lifestyle plan that encourages fuel refocusing, intermittent fasting, and anti-inflammatory nutrition to manage hormonal
symptoms, stabilize weight, and revitalize the body as it ages to provide benefits that will last a lifetime. Dr. Haver is working on her second book,
The New Menopause, which will be released in the Spring of 2024.
#menopause #perimenopause #womenshealth #galvestondiet #pauselife #thenewmenopause
The women experiencing this don’t know it’s treatable BECAUSE DOCTORS DON’T tell them that it’s treatable!!!! 😤😤😤 We are either left feeling it’s our fault or we research it ourselves until we stumble upon ways to fix it!!
100%
How do you fix it. I need help and now!
Me too! @@RobinSueWho
I agree! Most of the time if I go to get treated for anything regarding women issues I'm looked at like I have a strange incurable airborne medical problem. It's not right and should be talked about more. Oh and it's by the medical staff that look at me that way.
Not once has a doctor said or explained anything to me. I'm probably 4 years into menopause, I've lost count now and I was peri for about 10 years previous. Not once during all those times did any doctor, my pcp nor a gyno ever say anything about me not having normal periods. The only thing I was ever told was to take was a calcium supplement. Here I am, feeling like im well on my way to dementia and finally trying to find help because I stumbled upon this doctor accidentally. I'm so angry I've been suffering like this for so long, needlessly.
My wife is having those issues currently! We will never get a divorce because our love for each other supercedes any issues we have to overcome! ❤❤❤❤
Every guy I have ever heard say that was divorced by his wife within a year....that and, "my wife would never cheat."
Famous last words. Women don't "love". Not like men do.
If you're age 60 or over, sure....we men can do that...but if you're still in your 40's or early 50's you're going to HAVE to find your sexual outlet somewhere...after she cuts you off. We've all been there. Men get left out after age 45 ish...we still have 20 more years of sexual release when our women stop.
@@LarsonFamilyFarm-LLC What horrific advice! My god you have no concept of what real love and commitment are about. I hope you're not married and never get married unless you realize that marriage is about more than your feelings. True love is an act of your will. It's a CHOICE to put your spouse's needs above your own. I hope any woman in your life knows that if she ends up becoming a quadriplegic, you'll be gone or clapping another woman's cheeks before she's fitted in her first wheelchair. Never get married, dude. My god 🤦🏼♀️
@@holeymcsockpuppet You know a lot of selfish people. I'm truly sad to hear it.
I’ve asked two doctors twice about my perimenopause symptoms and I’ve basically been told that I’m fine. Not divorce, but I’m done being patronized by people who are supposed to help me.
I agree. Me too. That dismissal leads to rage and lack of libido.
Do you mind me asking how old you are? I’ve been exploring the possibility that I’m experiencing perimenopause.
Haven’t had a regular checkup in probably almost a decade due to various medical traumas and I’m looking to start setting up appointments in the next couple months and have been preemptively nervous about being ignored when I try to bring these up in discussion with the doctors.
After contracting diabetes and relying & comparing utube info, I am wondering about the quality of qualified general knowledge in the medical world.
I feel like the general attitude is: ok you have this condition from menopause which is a natural part of life so at your age you shouldn't be interested in sex- life says so. These doctors shame women. Even women shame each other by acting shocked if you try to talk about it
In the uk most of us are shamed into wasting time and taking up ‘valuable’ dr apps for ‘real’ problems. It’s a disgrace. All we can do is our own research and try to find a sympathetic doc.
I'm a man and this needs to be spoken about more on these types of platforms than most of the other crap that's out there... knowledge is power..
💯
Women and endless excuses for childish behaviour
Yes.
This is the tiniest tip of the iceberg of knowledge involved. How much did that knowledge help the Titanic?
@@swen6797
The Titanic was sunk so the Federal Reserve could be created.
That's why you pay to watch movies and documentaties celebrating their victory over you and your offspring.
I believe it and not just the vaginal atrophy but also the mood swings, depression, rage and lack of libido.
yes
Agree
Yes!! I am terrified. I mean terrified of menopause. I’ve seen women completely change. They are so miserable and mean. Completely diff than who they were before menopause. I don’t blame them but I just can’t be like that. My husband is the most amazing person to walk the earth and I don’t want to ever make him feel bad or even hurt his feelings. I am 42 and already getting kind of weird periods. 😢
It’s hard to find a competent doctor who listens to you & doesn’t dismiss you.
@@jocoder-williams4306 I have yet to find someone who will prescribe HRT. I’ve been looking for over a year now.
I took hormones and I feel 35 again. Our marriage is better than ever. Keep getting the word out
Can I ask what helped you please?
@@melissaomalia8726Hormones: estrogen and progesteron
What type?
What age did you start taking hormones?
@@melissaomalia8726 I started with estrogen gel and progesterone pills at age 57, one year no period, no pre or peri symptoms. It's just great, you get your life back!!
My wife and I are early 70's. Years ago she confessed our "relationships" were excruciating, like unto being attacked by razor blades down there.
I could not put her through that agony, we stopped by mutual consent and that was 15-20 years ago. I had told my kids, concerning marriage, find someone you can trust whom you are true friends with and then propose, not before you have come to know them.
Do I wish things had turned out like this? Who wouldn't, but it neither turned into divorce nor a loss of love for one another or extramarital relationships for me. Guys can be true to their true friend if they love them, and "I do" says it all.
you are a good man
"...like unto being attacked by razor blades down there."
That IS the perfect description.
Why not get estriol cream now? It’s perfectly safe since it’s a non-systemic treatment. It’s not too late.
@@natasha09179 if the pain is due to the vaginal wall lining becoming weak and not dryness {vaginal atrophy} I'm not sure this would work
@@suzanneyorkvilleRespectfully I believe your perspective is skewed & delusional. One cannot maintain a healthy state of being within themselves by self sacrificing especially to this extreme because intimate intercourse is a pivotal part of the human experience.This type of unbalanced relationship will undoubtedly fester into resentment wether that's fair or not.Also note he said there hasn't been any extramarital relationships on his part!!Furthermore....15-20 years w/no humpity bumpity 😂 I call Bullshot!
Yes! I'm fortunate that my gynecologist is Dr. Diana Bitner who wrote the book "I Want To Age Like That." When sex felt like I was being stabbed she had my hormone levels checked. I was put on low does HRT along with testosterone cream because it was almost non-existent.
Sex felt great again, my mental clarity came back, and the hot flash induced insomnia and migraines left. She saved my life.
Wow! Which hormones were you lacking? I’ve had almost no libido for about 15 years and I don’t know why. Could be my thyroid condition. Trying to figure out what’s wrong bc it causes so many issues in my relationship.
Be careful. It caused cancer. Yep me
@@Toadhouse2003 Functional medicine doctors are the best for HRT replacements as they have better tests for your hormone levels. Everyone is different so you must be tested to see how much of each you need.
@@pamelayoung6191 Thank you. I’ll definitely make an appointment. 🙏💗
How tired are you of this? Started antidepressents years ago, no libid since, doctors do not care. Viagra for men, but grin and bear it for women@Toadhouse2003
That is %100 true! My mom tried to divorce my dad out of no where right when she started menopause 😢 thankfully she got treatment and they are still together
And people will say it’s not a cultural thing. Besides the menopause, people in western countries think just waking up and divorcing someone is normal because everyone else does it. Never marrying here.
Don't forget about the medical professionals that dismiss women when seeking medical help for their conditions; Im speaking of both female and male medical professionals.
@chad8873 And they have no problem circumcising perfectly healthy, perfectly formed, baby boys, leaving them with a penis that is denuded, dried-out and desensitized. And then the women think painful intercourse is their fault.
My God……..EVERYTHING THAT EVER HAPPENS TO A WOMAN IS SOMEONE ELSES FAULT….EVEN BIOLOGY. Smh!!!!
lol...medical professionals????in America???? there are none, they are simply prescription pushers that do more work on tictok than in the office.
@@maedavis8Every damn time.
We age hormones change and hormones changes. My wife is 49 and all the doctors work with her and her hormones. We moved changed insurance and they ALL helped keep her hormones in check...They give the side effects and risks and it is up to her to decide what to do! This comment is trying to blame others for the fact women age!!! Guys age too! One of the number one drugs sold are drugs to help guys get-it-up!!!! and their wife are the ones pushing them to go on it lots of the time!!!!!! There is no wrong with going on hormones or taking pills to get it up if you need it! We age and all we can do is try to age gracefully!!!
As a medical professional, I am so full of love and gratitude for this presentation. Calm, reasonable, factual without shouting, sensationalism or editorializing. This person is Gold.
And without judgment too
Why would she be shouting about something like this in the first place?? It's as though you're congratulating her for not being irrational about a tough topic while also being a woman. Furthermore, this was just a divorce lawyers opinion. Not facts.
@@GameChanger597uhhh she did state facts about women who have severe symptoms of atrophy… the video didn’t stop at the lawyers point of view
Am I the only one surprised to see the amount of men commenting on this gynecologist's short? I mean, it's awesome, but it's surprising to me. Thanks for caring, guys! ❤
As a man it saddens me reading the comments to see that so many women seem to be abused, especially mentally and emotionally. I was 53 when I started courting my now wife and she was 38. We are both disabled so physical intimacy has always been difficult for us. In the 10 years we’ve been together we’ve been through some rough times, we’ve both lost our mothers for example. However, we are always there rock solid for each other. My wife is hemiparuplegic and I have a very painful respiratory conditions. So even simple jobs are shared, I cook, wash up and do all the 'two handed jobs' and she vacuums, dusts and does all the jobs that would affect my lungs. Most importantly we share a sense of humour and my wife is the strongest most beautiful human I've ever met. I never take her for granted and I know how very lucky I am, I value her far more than any physical activity, she’s my everything.
How blessed you are to have found eachother! Stay blessed and peace and joy to you both. 📯🤶🎄🦌🦌✨
@@moniquemannaert3468 Thank you, and peace and joy to you also.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful testimony of love and care for each other.
You are so kind and thank you for sharing the true love you have in your life.
People don’t know how to become one in there marriage.
After my cancer diagnosis and a hysterectomy at 40, I no longer see the same person in the mirror. Add on the mood swings and being overly emotional, it has affected our marriage so much. It isn’t talked about enough. Once menopause hits most of us don’t even recognize ourselves. It’s a special kind of hell.
Amen sister Amen
You’re not kidding. I was diagnosed with breast cancer, had the treatments, the cancer meds caused me huge fibroids which in turn had me going in for a full hysterectomy (everything came out). Now I don’t feel like myself. I’m trying so hard to be or at least feel like I was before. It sucks. I put on 20 lbs and no matter what I do nothing helps. I feel so inflamed everything hurts. My docs tell me to just let my body come back down with all the different surgeries I have had. I cannot and will not believe this is it. Everyday is day 1 for me because I’m going to keep fighting. @leeleeC984 you are not alone. ❤
Go to a holistic doctor, make sure you get your Vit D and Bs, etc. So much to share here!
@@faithm9284I take prescription vitamin D and I take fish oil, magnesium, potassium, iron and a mix for hair growth since mine fell out.
I feel so sad about your comment. I hope you can see a fab gyno or someone to help you feel like you again. You are probably fabulous and definitely just need some help from the right person.❤❤❤ you are still in there❤❤❤
My heart goes out to these women. As a man, I suffer a lack of intimacy due to wallet atrophy.
Lol😂😂😂. I think that went right over most people's heads!
Good one! 😆
😂😅😊
And there's hardly any treatment available! 😅
It's terminal. 😂😂😂
👋 I can confirm that I am currently divorcing due to severe symptoms & my impatient husband decided to see other women behind my back while I was trying to find a treatment that worked. He decided that my creativity to satisfy him wasn't enough & he didn't realize that f@#$ing around behind my back would be a deal breaker 🤦♀️
Sounds like it was only a matter of time before he left you. If you’d had an illness or anything else go wrong with you he’d left. I think you’re better off without someone like that. If all he saw you as was a sexual object than the love wasn’t in the marriage in the first place.
@@suzanne5689 I agree with you
Can you guys still work it out? Maybe it was just a lapse on his part. Obviously I don’t know the situation but I hope all relationships can be saved.
Sorry that happened to you. I had a similar experience. My ex wife was going through it and decided to cheat on me. Never could understand it. I was a sympathetic husband and did a lot to make her happy. She also turned nasty and disrespectful. After 28 years I’d had enough. Just when there was light at the end of the tunnel.
Cheating is never the right answer…in his case, he should have divorced you if he was as unhappy enough to cheat….or at least had the conversation about him having a side piece.
I suffered dryness and urgency for five years. Finally saw a doctor who knows what she's doing. Got on estrogen and both cleared up immediately. Hoping I can finally lose the 100 lbs I've gained.
Just walk & (swim if available to you). Do daily for a year. You'll see results.
I constantly exercise not working 😢
Maybe do some "exercises " in bed with your mate instead of eating now.
Glad you found the help you needed. I am praying you can lose the weight too! 💗
Lose 100 lb? Stop snacking and no eating after 6:00 p.m. effective the first night.
I had a complete hysterectomy 13 years ago, with bladder and rectal repairs, resulting in some complications. Sex was NEVER the same again. I've mourned the loss, and so has my husband. He has stayed by my side. We are the best of friends 🧡 marriage is about a whole heck of a lot more than just sex. We still remain close in other ways.
He's getting it elsewhere.
No, if you really love someone, you can find other ways to be intimate
@@katrinat.3032 Lololololololololololololol
@@katrinat.3032 Make me laugh some more.
@CheesusChrist-vz7dw My soon to be ex cheated, I gave her another chance to change. She didn't, I filed and she cried, wondering why I'm divorcing her.
Women always try to get free shit from men but claim to be victims. And they expect men to be their slaves because govt said pay up. There's a reason I have the attitude I have and it people like you.
As a male, I found this enlightening. The handful of older female friends I have might like hearing this.
Except the exact same issues are happening across all age groups. It's effecting 97% of straight women. Birth control is part of it, but there's more to it.
@@holeymcsockpuppet I'm in my 60s. I don't have conversations with all age groups of women. Since she spoke about women in their 50s and 60s, that is my focus. Now if you're saying this is happening with 20 somethings, that is reason enough to stay away from those women and why men should decline marriage with them.
@@holeymcsockpuppetDoubtful 20 year olds are having menopausal symptoms. Now birth control pills and other shots screwing them up? Sure. GMO foods? Sure.
I've heard that fewer than 1% of couples who pray together regularly get divorced.
@@SD-ph9kb I said it was "enlightening". I said nothing about any treatment. To be honest, I don't give a shite, since I'm almost 70. 😁
Here is my short divorce story, I walked away from 25 yrs together at age of 48 after 4 kids.
My inability to enjoy relations was due to the fact that women CANT and won't connect physically to men that have anger issues and deny needing therapy !
I didn't want him ! No atrophy for another man
Yep and idk why women fake for these men so much. It’s not like the men know what they are doing in the bedroom, most don’t. I was married for 10 years and he still couldn’t find it. I always hard to help him.
How can anyone connect with a man like that… they can’t.
💯 correct
Sounds like my brothers wife.
🎯🔔🎯🔔🎯🔔🎯 My sista from another Mista..
I’m 36, and I’m so glad I’m seeing these shorts! It gives me an idea of what to expect, and things to look out for when the change inevitably happens 😅
Divorce Attorney here. My job has absolutely made my marriage stronger because it makes me appreciate how good I have it (22 years going strong).
As to the medical issues, that's a very viable explanation. If the medical issue leads to lack of relations, it turns into loss of intimacy, and it is likely interpreted as failure of the relationship.
I'd never considered that and wish I knew how to use that information to help clients.
There's much more to intimacy than just sex
@cynthiad4443 yeah I hate that sex is seen as the end all be all to intimacy.
For men sex is very important. So you are saying it would be ok for your partner to get sex elsewhere as you cannot provide and feel its not important?
@Dweeble233 WHY is sex so important to men? Actually, I'd appreciate it if you could answer my question.
@@cynthiad4443It's literally built into our genetics. 70% of our lives as men are spent resisting that urge. We can try to use it for good, working out, building things, making money etc etc. But there's a tipping point, you can do all that stuff but it's still not enough after a while. It's an urge similar to needing to eat food. Literally. I'm not joking.
Imagine being hungry, and having food all around you. You could smell it, see it, etc but you weren't allowed to touch it or eat it. You could go a few days, a few weeks, but after a while it starts to wear you down. It literally drives you crazy. Then imagine you try to talk about it or bring it up and you get shamed. Told it's a you problem and you need therapy and this and that, when all you want is simple basic shit. They make us seem like we're crazy when in reality it's how we are made. This is why men often remove themselves and live alone. To stay away from the triggers so it doesn't affect you as much. Living and being around women you're attracted to is going to trigger responses in the body. Why should men be shamed for that?
Makes no sense, that's like me denying my woman her pads/tampons for her period. It's like me looking at her going, ewww gross you haven't figured that out yet? Go to counseling, go work out, lose some weight, maybe if you made more money etc etc. just constantly shaming them for it. Absolutely ludicrous, yet women do that to men all the time. We bond differently. Just look up the psychology behind it, and why it's important
Edit. This is also why porn is so addictive and men often fall into that trap because they have no outlet. Everywhere they look a woman is showing her naked body, in the music, advertisements, movies,. shows media, they constantly shove it down our throat but then wonder why men have problems with it. Why do you think porn is available and free, easily accessible. Yet people will pay for it, only fans etc etc whatever because they are so desperate. It's sad but look at what we do men. The fact you asked this question is a start but seriously you need to look at the bigger picture. Imagine if that happened to you? Just like you want sympathy and empathy you also have to give it. We need it too. Oftentimes our feelings, wants, thoughts, desires etc are denied and shamed. Why? What's the reason really? What happened to free expression and these "safe" spaces and acceptance we see advertised everywhere. Nobody gives a shit about men having safety, or expression.
Hormones levels start changing around 42-43. Menopause hits hard at 51 for most women. I cant tell you the number of women i know (including myself) who got divorced in their early 40s. You still have libido though and most find another partner (I did). I'll never forget the wall I slamned into though at 51. The skin on my face became scaly in june 5 years ago, and I grained 5 lbs without indulging. Then it was 2 - 4 lbs a week for the rest of the summer. My belly exploded. Was i eating more? No. Was I eating junk food? NO. I was horrified but it was going to get worse. The rage I had over little things scared everybody. The sleepless nights. The sweating. My new husband looked at me like what I have turned into? He finally said you gotta go to the doctor. Let's get this fixed. Been fixed (bio identical hormones) for 5.5 years. I swear if i hadn't done it, I don't know if I would still be married. It's so tough for a woman losing her hormones. No one wants to talk about it or they joke about it. Many think that they just don't like their husbands anymore. Both partners will think the other person is now wrong for them and not realize that the woman needs medical attention. I am truly not surprised about the divorce rate because of this issue.
YES! I'm thankful to Jesus that I have a supportive husband.
Very true, men also suffer in today's world from crashed hormones.
I’ve literally never heard this talked about nor joked about. And I’ve heard about menopause and it’s symptoms and tribulations a thousand times. That’s crazy. I don’t understand how this wouldn’t be a common topic given its importance and severity. Really goes to show how important it is to constantly be learning new things and researching anything that you remotely care about. Otherwise you just live in this state of ignorance, passivity, or resignation like any other great ape or primate. And to think it’s all one google search away. Glad I stumbled upon all this and I’m a guy
@@JackBlackNinja Yes, you would think that people (young men and women or older men) would talk about it because it effects their mothers, partners, etc. It's really only women who are actively going through it, that talk about it. What's even more rare is hearing anything about men who hit their early to mid 60s and experience the loss of testosterone. Hormone loss is the beginning of old age. Replacing your hormones with bio- identical ones (or Rx testosterone shots sold in most pharmacies), not only slows down the aging process and the development or advancement of some diseases, it restores libido.
@@forapps9364 well I really appreciate it because this is the first time I’ve seriously thought about it for more than 30 seconds about others or myself
I’m 63 years old and when I have (1) whole avocado 🥑 daily, I’m very interested and ready for ‘fun’ with my husband.
Lots of women are very low in Zinc and avocados are very high in Zinc.
It took me by surprise that after having an avocado it increased my nonexistent libido.
Something to check out.
Yep, search "PCRM Nutrition and menopause" for some good info!
Yep, plant based eating in general is great :)
Yep, search "PCRM Nutrition and menopause" for some good info!
Thanks for sharing. It sounds here like they are trying to sell more pharmaceuticals of some kind. I don't personally believe menopause is an illness to treat or try to reverse. Nature knows best and has the best remedies in most cases.
Some women, like my ex wife, when they lose interest in sex, they don’t want it back! They can’t understand why the man can’t just do without, why is he still needy? When they were needy a few years ago, and don’t seem to remember it? They are more than happy to have zero interest in sex, I guess it may simplify emotional entanglements?
So sad. Society conditions women to hang onto "youth" at all costs when what we NEED to teach them (& their husbands) is how to age well.
We are in Satan's sandbox. That is the problem.
Thank you for such a sensible reply ! I'm 66 yrs old man that is learning a lot about old age n women right here on his video . I dont like this old age shit one bit . Life is supposed to be great after working all our lives n it can be . I learning a loen t about myself n women watching this video . I believe n in God n he will steer me the right direction . I will meet another Angel before it's all over !
When I turned 54 I went on HRT and I am never getting of it. Had some vaginal dryness and mood disorders for a very short time but once I got on HRT my mood has greatly improved and I can happily say that I am enjoying sex more then ever. Ladies do your homework so that you’ll be ready when the time comes. And if your doctor is not listening to you find another doctor it’s that simple.
^^^^^^ THIS. My GP and I have agreed that this is the best approach for me given my various risk factors
What about the risk of getting cancer as a result of taking HRT?
What is HRT
@@arealgem9404Hormone Replacement Treatment
Hormone Replacement Therapy. It increases your risk of breast cancer.
This is complete truth. Just honest general info for women is missing in healthcare due to our society’s puritanical issues. My mom suffered *years* of painful UTI’s and debilitating bladder urgency and NO doc ever told her it was due to menopause/hysterectomy. It is cruel that women aren’t given this basic knowledge about how hormones influence behavior and health. It would save both men and women a lot of grief.
Plus there’s also an overreaction to cancer scares, to immediately pull all the plumbing out and take women off estrogen if they have any kind of lump. I have a female friend in her 70’s who’d been on the pill much of her life, had a lumpectomy, no spread - and they took her off estrogen - there was no discussion, just ordered it - and she aged a few years in 1 year - her bones and overall mobility and even skin declined.
She will push back though and ask them to let her go back to at least something, simply because of the dramatic lowering in quality of life. Women still aren’t being given the keys to their own car - their bodies - by the medical establishment. It is not right.
Not being given "keys to their own car" - Well said, and so true.
I never believed this myself until it happened to me, this year! I was in panic mode, never having an issue with coitus before and having a happy marriage. It was so painful 😣! I can tell you that my menopause journey and that of my sisters and close girlfriends has been different for each of us. It’s not just about hot flashes. It affects much more than that.
But did you get a divorce over this?
Why can’t you spell out SEX?
Well, I hope you seek professional advice. You could beginning a prolapse issue. Vaginal estrogen cream will greatly help and physical therapy too. If it’s just dryness all you need is the cream. But get checked by a doctor by the way the vaginal cream also Balance the micro biome in the vagina
so when are you going to divorce your husband? According to this Dr. you basically are more likely to divorce your innocent husband because you are aging. Like every single human goes through.
@@Teewriter Yes, thank you for this comment and suggestion. I found a knowledgeable doctor earlier this year and she’s been running several tests to rule things out.
I believe it, however, it isn't that women aren't seeking treatment. It is that most doctors have no clue what to do about it. I'm 52 now and stopped having a cycle in my early 30s. I am now having severe symptoms of menopause and am STILL trying to find a good doctor who has a clue. It is EXTREMELY frustrating.
Google doctors who specialise in hormone therapy. Even if it's in another state or country I had a phone call with one from another state I'm in Australia.
Yes it is frustrating. Doctors don't know anything except what you tell them. They get a lot wrong. If they don't know the answer they just pass you along. I'm hoping to find doctors with answers with wisdom and SOLUTIONS. Most are just mediocre. It's like I must find my own solutions because they do not know. They get paid way too much to NOT know!
As an ac tech i 100% believe this.
Over my 20 year career as an ac service tech I've lost count of the quantity of times I've been sent to "no cooling" or "intermittent no cooling" calls that ended up just being a Woman going through menopause and she didn't even realize it.
Luckily I haven't dealt with the temperature regulation issue with my late in life change. But with both my pregnancy I drove my then husband crazy because of it.
I would go from freezing to roasting in the matter of minutes. Then back to freezing only to be followed by roasting. It would last for an hour or so.
Hormones are wickedly powerful stuff.
@@kylaluv8453 that they are.
It's not limited to women either. As a man im on HRT because my levels are too low.
😁 I had overactive thyroid. Every morning, I would come in the work and put the air conditioner down to 64. People would walk in and start freaking out because it was so cold in there. But it was normal to me. Finally, I went to the doctors and was put on thyroid medicine.
I live with my oldest son. I would freeze him out if the house I was so hot. I went on hormones for 3 years. I am thankful thehot flashes stopped because they don't I'm some women
Or they really did have a cooling problem and you just decided that they were the right age for menopause so it must be that. Annoying...
When one person still has a libido ana the other does not, that is a problem. Intimacy is an important part of a relationship.
Intimacy isn’t a sexual act
@@milekh6681 The point being, sexual relations should be a huge part of an intimate relationship if married. Ask mommy for a hug and a cookie.
People keep talking about epidemics here’s one that’s very silent the sexless marriage no one wants to talk about it cause 90% of it is men suffering and we all know how society feel about men
@@milekh6681to almost all men, it is.
@@Lord_darkside74 if the statistics were reversed, we would be wearing ribbons and having fundraisers with Oprah.
I'm 55 and been divorced for 21 years. Been single for 10 years. I'm just going to keep it that way! Better to be alone than miserable
Here here!🥂
Thanks for checking in, Karen.
You need someone in life, it could get depressing at times.
@@ajayr8781 Depression doesn't differentiate if you're single or not. People in relationships are not immune to depression.
@@johnboggs8765 I don't have to answer to you or anyone else. If you want or need to check in with someone be my guest.
I am blessed to have a man who loves and cares about me beyond our sexual relations. I FINALLY went to try to get help on my own volition, and boy I'm glad I did! I'd forgotten how much _I_ enjoyed sharing this with him, and it's amazing to see what a difference it makes to have this back again after 2 years of being unable to!
No it’s not the physical changes it’s because it’s a mid life realization that you deserve better and there’s no need to tolerate a TOXIC individual any longer since the kids are grown around this age… and he doesn’t serve a purpose anymore
He doesn’t serve a purpose anymore? Wow. I’m sure he felt really loved in the marriage as well. I’m reading through these comments and it shocks me that women can’t even tolerate a situation that may not apply to them. This isn’t about picking the wrong man but women dealing with this issue. It obviously doesn’t apply to you. Doesn’t make it less true.
@Starnote16 you are expecting people with the minds of children to understand something. But its words they don't like so they have rail against it instead of.just accepting that it may not apply to their empty, unfulfilling lives.
Amen!
@@Starnote16It seems to always be the women's fault never a man. I call BS on this.
@@christineperez7562 Then why are 80% of divorces filed by women?
I wish, wish that this issue would be talked about more than hot flashes and night sweats. It took a bevy of doctors over a year to diagnose my v. atrophy. When I finally found a GYN who knew what to do, I was prescribed the right meds & my life went back to normal. I now see this doctor yearly and he has been a god-send for me. There needs to be a middle aged health class for us gals, so we can really talk about what these changes are.
Say it LOUD!
My wife was 42 and was an absolute beast at times and a loving person 5 minutes later. I worked on the road then. I came through the door and she almost disemboweled me. I was very angry but remained calm. I told her to see the doctor. I told here I would be back in two weeks and if she did not see the doctor I would divorce her. A week later she called me and told me she was on menopause meds. Our life returned to a calm, loving relationship after that.
WOW😮
You're lucky she didn't just decide to divorce you anyway, this response sounds so unsympathetic and selfish. She was obviously suffering man
My uncle did something simular with my aunt. He took her to the doctor and said do something or I will divorce her.
Irony was, my aunt did that to him first shortly after he returned from Vietnam. She took him right the VA and said fix him.
Sad thing is, he is dying now due to the shit they poisoned them with in vietnam.
Wowww. That’s a shitty response.
In my case, I am divorced, because he was cheating, for years! My intuition got stronger in the 50s and I found out through my intuition that not only was he cheating. He also had a son with her.
That’s awful! I’m glad you got out. You deserve way better than that!
WTH!😡
Damn that's rough. I'm so sorry.
How does anyone have time to do that. One relationship is tough enough. Can I ask you what type of job he had.
Why was he cheating, why??
Without RUclips I would’ve never gotten the help I needed. I did not know it was caused by menopause and it was treatable.
The rage is also practically uncontrollable. I spoke with my Dr about it and immediately she started me on medication to help me get it under control again. It was actually terrifying and I was ready to leave my husband.
I now have vag atrophy and it has led to urinary incont. I didn't know it could be treated until a nurse spoke about it, she couldn't do my pap smear 😭. Women need information, god bless your channel. ❤
Those things are no fun at all. For me , Estradiol cream has helped a lot. I hope tou get the help you need.
Mine was my husband's inability to stop drinking and his inability to stop sleeping around while neglecting us financially and emotionally... Had nothing to do with any atrophy
You must be married to my ex
@@stephaniewhite7477 They may be brothers 😂
What was it like being married to Chad? I know it was Chad as Brad and other ordinary guys have no options to sleep around. Hypergamy is a bitch to everyone.
@@randyduncan795 You never knew which end was up. I remember I would always get pain in the pit of my stomach when I would come around the corner to our house... It was like a subconscious fear of him actually being there when I got home. Because I was afraid of what would happen.
And then there were the other times where he just never showed up or he'd call me from a supposed Walmart and tell me he was gone for a week.... Visiting a friend I'd never heard of before for a fishing expedition... Or going out to watch a game with the boys and just never coming home... This phone would be off and he just be gone.
Or telling him that the electric was due and him telling me as the owner of a air conditioning company in Florida, he didn't have any money for us... Yet he could afford to take all of his company out for dinner or lunch or golf.
Being three or four months behind on your mortgage payment... The one you were paying faithfully before your marriage that he coaxed you into putting over into his name because we were now married... Inconveniently forgetting to pay it after he pulled out all the funds in the second mortgage for his business...
Or him leaving in the middle of the night to go check on a friend. And he'd actually named the friend. And I would say well let's all go check on him and he said no no. I need to check on them personally.
Or them coming home with herpes after you've just had a baby and then blaming it on you except you and the baby don't have it!
I'd say they were fun times except they just weren't.
This has nothing to do with the topic but by all means make it all about you.
I'm happy to see women get out of abusive relationships. I'm also super stoked to see men leave abusive relationships. However, it is nice to see couples who love each other and treat one another as precious.
Hormone therapy is everything. As a man who lifts and is in very good shape, I was astonished a few years back to find my T levels were critically low. Find a sports nutrition doctor, male of female,.and get your levels checked. Hormone balance affects so very much of your life.
Yeah but for women it often causes tumors. My MOm went on HRT and because of it ended up with a grapefruit sized tumor and having to have a complete hysterectomy. Please don't give women medical advice.
I think it is more to do with women finally waking up to being abused and not wanting to put up with the bs any longer. Most can move on and not have an ounce of sexual issues with a new partner.
That might be a part of it but I can tell you the women that I love a lot in my family changed drastically. I mean not even recognizable. Maybe this isn’t normal through menopause but it is in the women I know and it was really bad. I am terrified of it. I truly can’t imagine how my husband would feel if I changed like that and could be so so cruel.
@@Starnote16 I also think a lot of it is related to carb intake, especially hot flashes, the friends I have that eat carbs suffer badly and the ones that are keto or carnivore don’t. Anything that converts to sugar seems to heat the body. Sugars also stimulate the mind in a bad way.
Exactly!!!
@sharlesb7735 I've been clean keto for the last year, yet I had such severe hot flashes and depression out of nowhere that I went to gyno. Turns out, I'm already post menopausal at just 43 years old. I thought perhaps I caused it to happen so quickly and early because of my keto diet and IF. I felt like maybe I messed up my hormones. I'm still keto and don't plan to quit but I would like to see some research on the topic.
@@chelelee6321 my periods stopped at 47, I’m now in my 60s. I found out that if you have an autoimmune condition it can stop them early, I’ve got thyroid and fibromyalgia issues. I have had very slight spotting if I try new herbal remedies or change up my diet, but I haven’t heard of the keto diet bringing on menopause but you never know. At least you don’t have to worry about monthlies anymore, I was so pleased to get rid of them. Have you checked out dr Eric berg and dr Mindy Pelz on here, they might have some answers.
I love hearing all the happy women who rediscovered aspects of their lives they missed. Personally, I choose to embrace what is naturally happening with my body and mind, and feel there’s no suffering involved. It helps to be single and live solo. Menopause was SO much easier not having to deal with how it affected anyone else. I decided none of it was a problem.
Best, most underrated post here! 🤍 🥂
You clearly have a mild case. My wife literally feels like she is on fire sometimes. Cold the next. I feel for her and anyone else going through this.
We need more good men who are true, honest understanding, and best friends with their significant other out there that’s what I’m trying to teach my son how to be now with his partner and they’re in their early 20s and I’m transitioning into menopause but I’m single at this point by choice❤❤❤
INDEED WE NEED REALLY CARING, SUPPORTING, UNDERSTANDING MEN!! A GOOD JOB HOW YOU ARE TEACHING YOUR SON THIS, 👏 RESPECT
We're in our 50's. My wife is on HRT. That stuff works so well I had to start testosterone just to keep up! I'm not joking!
😆 this made me laugh 👍🏻 💓
I took it until I developed breast cancer in my 50’s.
Wat is hrt I'm 58 I'm ok I just jog and it balances everything I'm also alone along. Time
@lisaquigley-moon9583 oh my I'm sorry to hear but please share your story. I'm only in my 30s but trying to prepare from now
Don't worry about it now, you've got 10-20 years before it's an issue. @@nikkistahr7105
Yes, you go through menopause with an unsympathetic, emotionless partner. Most women would choose to be alone. Thats the truth.
When I was going through the change I had a good doctor but no support outside of that. I can't even imagine being in a relationship and having to deal with a man. They would never understand or be supportive. There solution to the problem would be to leave. I'd let them too!
Sounds very much like a “ you can’t fire me, I quit!” Scenario.
Menopause can be brutal, no doubt …but you’re not the only person in the relationship.
If you decide to unilaterally restructure the marriage into just a friendship/ roommate arrangement, don’t expect that to be greeted by your spouse applauding you.
It’s really odd how unsympathetic people simultaneously demand sympathy….
That's why I would let him leave and if he wouldn't I would. I was miserable enough going through this without having to deal with a cold, uncaring, unsupportive man! You just don't get it and you never will until you go through it yourself!
@@vsfreddy there's more to life than sex. If a union can't survive without it, was it even a solid union to begin with? Men have no idea what chronic health issues, perimenopause, menopause is like. If they're not prepared to be more supportive and sympathetic then just stay single and don't bother ever having a long term relationship. If women made a song and dance about their mans inability to keep it up or go the distance there would be outcry!!! Id love to see a man go through menopause or atrophy and still want to stick a penis in there holes poking at every organ.
@vsfreddy so, you're saying that people must have sex in order for it to be something other than a roommate situation?
Good luck trying to find a Dr to help treat that. I am currently going through this in my late 40’s. I went from Gyno To Gyno trying to get help because I knew something was wrong. All they wanted me to do is go see a psychiatrist. I finally found one that listened to me and found all of these things wrong and I am having surgery to fix them next week. Don’t give up. Keep going to Dr after Dr until you find one that will truly listen to you and actually look at you and not pawn you off to a psychiatrist.
Important conversations to have in marriage.
Men can suffer prostrate issues and not speak about it.
Yes.
I think it’s good to empower women to take care of their health to avoid problems. It should be noted that it’s not necessarily the only reason they leave. Many women get fed up with the toxicity they tolerated and start to realize their worth. When I have pms, I have no tolerance for bullshit that I normally can tolerate through the rest of the month. Pms is uncomfortable but it actually empowers me to make healthy boundaries during that time.
Your shown symbol, title, and response had a blaming, toxic, and used a repeated woman empowering tone over others. That gets very old. Leaving your internal anger and protests elsewhere would be beneficial to both you and others.
@@gregdold119 people are dying in a genocide and we should all do what we can to protect them. Too bad if it makes you uncomfortable.
@@FreePalestineEndZionism You need to wake up to the truth. In a peace agreement in 2005 Israel abandoned the Gaza Strip. In 2006 the Palestinians voted in the terrorist Hamas who then controlled them, all the aid sent, and Hamas charter openly calls for the destruction of Israel. Hamas used the aid mostly for armament, themselves, suicide bombers, and secret war tunnels. Iran also gave their proxy Hamas arms, money, and training to destroy Israel. Hamas with Palestinians approval and hate have killed, done suicide bombings, raped, taken hostages, and hidden arms-bases-tunnels near people women and children living, hospitals, and schools. These are all war crimes. Yes, for the last two decades we should all be very uncomfortable with Hamas and all this!
I was on HRT for 12 years from a compound pharmacy and good doctor. I am 69 now and can't get it anymore. I'm told that I am too old(!) and that there are cancer risks. In the last 6 months I have aged 5 years, from weight gain, skin issues and vag atrophy, no libido either. 😢
What about the men that werent that good in the first place still asking for it?
Plenty of those
Sex start 70% in our head before any intercourse.
Did you tell your husband that you are likely one of the 80% of women who cant orgasum during intercourse and need manually stimulation afterward in order to climax? That bit of sexual education could have made both of you much happier.
I never felt more free than when I hit the men-O-pause. I was no longer a slave to hormonal urges leading to bad choices!
Everybody needs to share and like this video.
Let’s keep marriages together and happy.
It’s also keeping families together. Oestrogen acts on neurotransmitters like an an antidepressant. It’s not good for kids or spouses to have a depressed and exhausted mother and wife.
Thank you!!! Mic drop. I age my husband about ten years in a three year period. I couldn’t stand myself and stopped it immediately when I realized how I was treating him. Once you know this, you can not un-know this. I see it constantly. Yes, we are still together.
The leading cause of my divorce was his bare minimum in life. Nothing to do with my taco or otherwise. I nursed him through 18 surgeries and he had zero tolerance for my all the changes, on all levels, in my body from peri and soon to be menopause. He told me I need to get medicated for being insane. Yet he would get shot for his hormones and that was ok for him to have moods, weight gain and ED but I was supposed to be empathetic and care for him. Please don't blame another reason for divorces on a woman's natural process, often ignored by most doctors and society as a whole. Yep. My taco will find another cook ;)
But it is another reason. You don’t have to like it. That’s just a reality. There’s many reasons. Men can also be a-holes obviously but I know several women including myself whose husbands were supportive and had no clue why we felt the way we did.
Yeah that’s the sad part. So many men today want a mommy to baby them, but when you’re sick & going through the hardest time in your life, they aren’t understanding at all!!!! Meanwhile 45-50 year old American men are often in the prime of their life w/ plenty of $ and so they move on to a younger woman to exploit.
Absolutely agree on ditching the selfish a$$. He won’t be there if you’re sick or insensitive to your changes… he serves no purpose. GOOD FOR YOU in realizing your self worth!
Love the cook analogy❤
I'm sorry you had to endure that. Your value is determined by you- it's fabulous that you decided you are high value❤️ TBH though- I can personally attest to the fact that I've got a supportive wonderful hubby.... I'm looking at the Drs' video more as a 'you're not alone' anymore. I interpreted her saying that we've been ignored by the medical community with ailments that can impact a relationship from the woman's perspective. Ie- I don't feel as sexy and confidant in my own skin due to the changes. I'm struggling with what's going on with ME- which can still impact a strong relationship.
I hope you've moved on to bigger and better 'Cook!' Heehee💋
This pain is so treatable! Been there, doing that. Ask your gyno for help. It’s SO worth it Ladies ❤
Aside for real menopausal conditions like this Dr is talking about, the body will protect itself in cases where the woman is being abused, neglected etc. The body can easily shut down sexually & otherwise to disengage from men who treat them poorly to outright abuse. It can even give off unattractive pheromones ++ so the abuser isn't interested.
No that can make a man angry. Anger can manifest sexually, leading to utter misery for the woman.
Really??? 😮 Do you have a source for this info? I'm genuinely curious, not trying to be rude at all. It certainly seems possible. I'll try to Google it but I'm not sure how to word it in searching for the answer 😂
@@curiousc9259 yes my wife wud like to know to
Sooo which Senator are you getting your medical advice from? That’s not how any of this works dear. Otherwise grape would not exist.
How could a person be open to the act without intimacy and care? It’s likely logical for things to shutdown because it’s nature’s way of saying this should not happen and this could put offspring in danger as well. Many people are driven sexually regardless of their circumstances, but for those who it does not work that way, they should be validated as well. Just does not seem natural to engage under abuse, unless engaging IS part of the cycle of abuse and interconnected.
I’m a guy , I believe this , it happened to my marriage 35 years ago , I been single ever since . I’ve stayed away from women and I’m doing wonderful in the middle of TEXAS alone .
I'll be turning 42 soon, never married, never had kids. Let me tell you, it is so nice to make decisions with my brain instead of my dick now. My finances are in order, I do better at work and I'm not in a relationship with someone I despise. It's great.
if a woman said the same about her impotent husband, you be screaming like an angry incel.
@@cannabrosPervert
@@cannabrosso she can get the green card and leave him for a man she really wants? Or maybe murder him for the insurance? Lmao ok, good idea.
@@gingerjones111thank the Lord I'm not one of them. I could care less what a woman thinks about me or men. 😁😁😁 Life is great.
I had painful sex and was calling my doctors office the next day. My doctor was so sweet and kind! It’s common
My divorce happened at age 31. A droopy taco wasnt part of that. But mental, emotional, financial and physical abuse was....
At 31 that wouldn't be the case, no. You were still young.
THAT was the right decision! Woman should not take ANY ABUSE!
That’s wonderful, unfortunately, it’s realizing that if your partner is NOT emotionally mature then the physical part ( intimacy ) is out the door! Married for 20 plus years and I can now write a book 📚 on it!
Yeah not feeling odd since I've been single most of my life
If I wanted sex I found it male friends with benefits..didn't have to deal with male stupidity except for dealing with my 3 sons 😂 2 24 year olds still at home
I am recently one of the 20%. It's changed things for the better.
There is research to back this theory of final nail to the divorce coffin is menopause. The effects of it impacts marriages. Men don’t understand and we don’t talk about how it impacts women and their most important relationship.
Andropause is a problem too, not to mention the foolery of their mid-life crisis. Women get sick and tired of the ish!
Don’t lay the total blame on menopause.
Who blamed it all on menopause? All she is doing is citing a reason. If it don't apply to you then congratulations.
She's just trying to build a career on this old trope. 😉 Good luck to her.
@@jengoodwyn2715 Trope ...? 😂😂😂
Use for a man expired. Useful for dangerous job climbing trees etc but hell little else. If you've got money then really of little use. Friends however different, going out to dinner and I'll pay my way.
Truth! Not to mention the mood swings, the hot flashes, the lack of sleep, the soreness in the female areas… It’s pretty rough. And if the woman feels guilty about it or is made to feel ashamed it’s going to cause a big problem.
On the flip side many men in their 50's and above suffer from erectile dysfunction, and they refuse to seek treatment.
You can ED meds on the internet. The same applies to them as the women. It is treatable and it's stupid to not treat it.
Absolutely correct. Some men are so bad off from hypertension and diabetes that viagra and similar drugs won’t work
Amen to that buddy. The worst part is then blaming you. You need to entertain them to get the juices flowing, loose a little weight, etc...when they know full well the math ain't mathin'. Something ain't right and it ain't got nothing to do with her.
@@beardedking247😢🎉😢
Why bother? Who needs a good stiffy just to be told not tonight dear, maybe this weekend, oh I'm really tired, I've got a headache.....
Quite true. Hubby invites his friends who are having problems with their wives to visit their gynecologist before looking for a divorce lawyer. Sometimes it feels easier to just move on and look for someone else but it’s the same hell with a different devil.
Explains a lot. My wife divorced me when she was 53. Since then, she has been so mean and acidic towards me. I gave her everything for 28 years. She didn't even have to work! I noticed a major change in her general attitude about 6 months before she left me.
She finally got some help about a year later. She was back to the nice woman everyone knew. This lasted about a year or so. Then she quit the medicine. Now back to being mean. The divorce was 12 years ago.
The issue is not the medical condition, its the fact that people rely on sex to have a happy marriage instead of love and respect for thier partners
Look. Stop separating things or saying, "its JUST this" Everything affects everyone. Thats why communication is key.
Did i touch a nerve?
@@robbs96 Yes. Because too many ppl on the net want things to be a one answer issue or solution, when in reality, life is complex and has so many variables.
The medical condition of menopause can put a huge damper on a couple. If sex hurts, neither party, if they actually care for each other, will be apt to participate. Solve the medical issue and things can fall back into place, rather than snowball.
@@deirdremorris9234so obviously you rely on sex to have a happy marriage. Congrats.
@@robbs96 Of course not. Over the course of decades, there have been times both of us have been ill or convelesing. We totally enjoy each others company with or without sex.
But for many people, both genders, sex is very important and should be discussed.
I tried seeking medical attention because with the birth of my two year old the muscle between my back and front was never fixed and now I cant go to the bathroom without it getting stuck at the front. Its literally at my intrance. The GYN said it wasnt concerning and told me working on my pelvic floor should fix it. I looked her in the eye and asked why that should help a torn muscle. She acted like I was overreacting.
Lots of them probably tried to get medical attention, they probably said something. The medical community as a whole, men and women, could care less.
You have a tear between back and front?? Hospital that missed seeing that should fix it. It is fixable. My daughter in law had the worst 4th degree year her doctor had ever seen and it got sorted
I mean tear, not year.
My mom divorced my dad when she was menopausing. My mother in law divorced her husband when she was menopausing. This is definitely a real thing.
I think some are missing this woman’s point. Menopause can cause strong physical and emotional changes which may also inhibit the desire for intimacy. Loss of intimacy leads to disconnection.
Because many symptoms of menopause are not as overt or obvious as vaginal dryness the focus becomes more about sex or lack of it setting up the breakdown which feeds on itself and spirals
Sex at 60 is needed for connection with your partner?
you sound very lost and potentially limited in life. Sex is not everything...you can't keep having sex until you are dead.
Most older couples have a friendship and companionship that keeps them happy for a very long time.
The idea that an ED penis and an atrophied vag need to keep having sex is beyond reason.
❤️🫶
"Loss of intimacy leads to disconnection" - nailed it! If you had sex when you started your journey TOGETHER, then keep having it or explain why you don't want it so he can move on.
I’m 64 & a widow. I only noticed it was taking me longer to climax the last couple of years. Had no idea it was a medical issue. Thought it was just my parts getting old 😮
Oh no they dont get old. Everything should work normal until your final years. Aldo look into vitamin K2 and D3. Amazing new studies out that will really help when you get older. Really everyone needs it but its far more important as you get older.
That’s so sad to hear. Even more sad that many doctors just don’t help women understand this time of their life and the difficulty of this journey.
So glad you are one doctor who is making this difference! Thank you!
No! Absolutely not far from it. Women tolerate to much from narcissistic men. I divorced my ex after 33 years.
So then this doesn’t apply to you.
So..live in denial.
@@beardedking247 NO! I Live in the real world. Clearly women have been. Conditioned to believe that unless your physically abused then it simply isn't abuse when in fact dealing with a narcissist is abuse. We all have our limits and unfortunately I'm far too patient. My life matters finally.
@@robinlooney5440Oh so you think the majority of men are narcissists now? Narcissism is becoming more prevalent in both sexes but to say that’s the primary cause of divorce, let alone only narcissistic *men* , is ridiculous
@@ImperatorCaesar22 That's not what she said!
How about feeling unsupported emotionally-not just pelvic floor support. Men and women need more education on how to COMMUNICATE!
Spot on , Effective communication is vital in relationships,
There is so much info available. It is unwillingness to learn and change.
"I do believe that men would take advice about women, but we're not going to sit and read magazines. You'd have to feed it to us in a way that we'd accept it. Sneak it into the play by play of a baseball game." - Jeff Foxworthy
@@drl5002 " You'd have to feed it to us in a way that we'd accept it." My ex understood and excepted, that if he carries on lying, cheating and not helping with the household and the children, that I am going to divorce him. Then he celebrated. Moved back to his parents, who are taking a good care of their baby.
Exactly instead of divorce taking easy way out. I'm married 32 years one day I realized we were just room mates. Now because of my emotional incompetence he just stopped trying. Seemed like a good idea at the time but I realized I got more affection from the dog so I just said it one day and I had to make the effort to do better by him. I usually greet him at the door, not always. I put down my stuff when he comes in. I hug him maybe grope him and we're still going strong. Women are being lied to when it becomes about feelings. If yr married make the effort on both sides.
I’m 40 and not in menopause yet. However, I had my 3rd baby almost 4 years ago and I just weaned her off nursing.
During the years of nursing her, I completely COMPLETELY changed. I couldn’t understand what was happening with me. Gained a ton of weight, couldn’t sleep, had rage, severe mood swings, suicidal most days, weepy, awful depressing thoughts, lost most of my muscle, my body fat composition shifted around and my once hourglass figure turned into a round top heavy figure, huge belly, liver enzymes elevated, visceral fat, my hair went from dark brown to all gray, my hair texture changed too, ZERO ABSOLUTELY NO LIBIDO, I couldn’t achieve an orgasm no matter what I or what we did in the bedroom, I was dead under the belt. I avoided all intimacy like the plaque. I didn’t want to be touched and the thought of sex disgusted me. My bones hurt daily, I moved like an old lady. My once firm fat turned into this weird soft fat? My breasts turned into fat like I lost my breast tissue?? It was beyond bizarre.
I would tell my husband I feel so old, I’m in my 30s and I feel 65! This isn’t me, why is this happening?? I have a good life why am I so angry and want to die almost every day??
This was not me. I knew it wasn’t normal. I have the most loving patient understanding husband in the world. I would take a bullet for this man. I adore him.
My children are my treasure. We have a great life. Yet, my brain somehow felt broken. I could tell it wasn’t me.
I also never experienced this with my two other children.
My doc didn’t do any hormonal texting because I was still nursing. Almost 4 years of nursing our little one and I decided to read up on what could be happening.
Apparently nursing mimics menopause. I didn’t have my period the first year of postpartum, got it back after that and it was normal and regular. But hormones were still off.
My little one finally weaned exactly when I turned 40 this year lol, and EVERYTHING changed. All those symptoms are completely gone. I’m finally feeling like myself again.
I’m losing weight without even trying. I’m sleeping so much better. Sex…. Orgasms… all back!
My fat composition and distribution is also changing and shifting. I’m finally getting fat back on my thighs and buttocks.
I’m not angry, no raging, no suici thoughts, my PMS is PMS and not what turned into PMDD when I was nursing.
We want to have more children and I’m absolutely willing but, I cannot nurse again. I cannot go through what I went through again.
If this was a glimpse into menopause, I told my husband I’d rather die than go through it again or we’re getting me treatment at any cost once that time of my life comes.
My poor mom suffered so much because no one would listen to her when she went through it. :(
So many women suffered in agony for years with no help. :(
I’m so grateful for this content now, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.
And if I get any bs nonsense from any of my doctors, I am immediately changing them. I will not suffer and make my whole family suffer with me.
Give yourself and your family a break - you don't need anymore kids at your age. You'll just run yourself into the ground. Menopause plus teenagers is a hard time in life.
I walked away because he was a cheater had nothing to do with Menopause i was done Never Trust him again
Carrying that resentment around must be exhausting
@@74GenX resentment for what ? Not blaming Menopause? I have no resentment i am free
I walked away after 36 years. I was tired of living with a narcissistic, abusive, cheater. He told everyone I left because I was bipolar like my mother🤷♀️
how often is cheating the result of the wife no longer wanting sex?
@@jasonnewby no ist because man have a midlifecrisis and when the grass is Not greener at the other site they try to come back
I think the hormones drop and you see things more clearly.
Or is it that you just see things differently once your brain and body aren't working together properly?
@@beardedking247
Suzanne is correct
The PMS made me nuts for at least 10 days every month. Menopause made me emotionally stable.
Right, no more orgasm intoxication preventing you from seeing he's useless in every other way.
WHy would you think Menopause is your brain and body not working properly? It is a natural function. Is a woman's only function to give birth? Once menopause in over the moodswings men compain about (that allow for life to occur) dissapear... so... WTF? Women work just fine after menopause, in fact, we live longer than men... so maybe we work even better. @@beardedking247
Hormones do play a role in so much but raging anger there are deeper issues going on. Especially stress or not getting adequate rest. And when women want divorces the big question to know if it’s hormone related would be to ask how they felt before starting menopause. But some don’t see issues we just get use to them and one day the brain wakes up and says oh hell nah , we not doing this anymore. Sometimes the hormones allow us to speak up and just be real.
Exactly this.
Not married but can attest that I had no idea and was never told that what was happening to me was treatable. I suffered for years and years and after seeing three doctors who refused me HRT (there were plenty who would have given it to me if I was the wrong sex which is also infuriating) finally got on it. I’m now sleeping, the pain is gone. My symptoms from menopause are 90% gone. My geriatric mother has had surgery for her bladder, is in diapers now and has I believe been through decades of mood related issues. I’m determined to not end up like her. I would urge any lady who can go on HRT safely to do so.
There is no safety to HRT.
I second what @barbaraspector6689 said.
This feels a bit like the 'irrational woman' trope. Could it be that when the sex goes away, women start seeing a bit more clearly what has been lacking in their relationships all this time?
Yes! I'm bisexual, but sexually prefer men (well penises). After a difficult breakup, I decided to practice celebacy for one year... and one year turned into 3. Once men knew sex was on the table, I was basically ignored as a human by any man who wasn't gay or in a happy relationship.... now, I view men kinda like horses: fun for a ride, but too much work to want to keep one.
Thank you for saying this. If I have a health problem that affects my desire to be that type of physical, I'm invoking the "in sickness" clause from the wedding vow. I should be allowed to age like I'm meant to. If he makes a choice to divorce or invalidate those vows, that's the part that caused the divorce
It could be that without hormones you don’t feel enough connection to continue the relationship.. because of the numbness you feel inside.. there’s a lack of connection…
Thank you for your statement of clarity and I exactly agree
THIS!!!!!!!
Men and women go thru these changes. Its very simple..talk to your doctor about it. Its a one on one conversation. You're an adult its nothing to be embarrassed about.
Kids are raised and now she feels able to free herself.🎉
that's called a disloyal b......
Ive been on natural HRT for over 30yrs Im 74 now and will continue to take it.
I also believe men need HRT
May i ask what natural hrt ur on? Thanks
What is it? I'm using Wild Yam and it helps my hip tightness but not libido. 😒
My wife got treatment and takes Azo. It’s been a couple of years and has no issues.
People need to find solutions instead of giving up.
There are more symptoms that come with menopause that slowly creep in. They affect everything. I didn’t realize until after my divorce and after menopause when I started Biote hormone therapy. I suddenly felt like myself again. Of course there were other factors in the marriage but I definitely felt that had I understood and realized and taken action much earlier, it’s possible things would have gone another way. I got my libido, my brain and my energy back. Menopause is no joke and you should seek support as soon as you are in perimenopause.
DO NOT THINK THAT! If menopause symptoms destroyed your marriage, it was because your husband was an unsupportive partner when you were going through a major life change that is completely natural, and something that he was totally capable of learning about (just a google search away) and supporting you through. My aunt and her 10 year younger husband had no relationship shaking problems when she went through menopause (though they did when he went through his mid-life crisis, which only made them stronger an more in-love), so there is no reason to blame your natural womanly functiuon for your divorce.
RIGHT! My hubby is supportive. THANK GOD. @@lindsaygoodwin3140
@@lindsaygoodwin3140as long as your wife refuses to admit what's going on, husbands get labeled as the enemy. I have loved and adored my wife for decades and supported her in anything and everything she wanted to do. After having a hysterectomy everything has changed. I refuse to argue with her and I only block when she hits me. I don't know how long our marriage can tolerate this but I'm trying my best.
If anything, divorce happens at this age because the kids are grown and the wife has been wanting to leave for years but didn’t want to disrupt the social emotional development of her children.
Yeah, because divorce doesn't traumatize teens at all, right?
@@kentjohnson873why would you say that? Divorce is not a pleasant thing for anyone and of course it effect teens too, but less than small children. Teens usually want to be away from their parents, living their own freshly grown up life and that is different stress than for for example 5y old.
@@kentjohnson873 who says the kids are teens? Most will be in there 20’s at least.
@@ic7804 well said!
My dad really should have divorced my mom when I was a teenager. He almost did after the kids were grown, but she said she would change.
My neighbor said his wife went ballistic in menopause, left him for a younger man. It's mental health in menopause just as much as it is physical health.
I have a great marriage of 40 years and we’ve had a great sex life.
I eat well, work out, looked young for my age and thought I’d pass on the HRT and try to get through it naturally.
Not only did I feel like I was aging 5 years each month I got older, but I felt like I was going crazy. Worst part is I was no longer enthusiastic about sex. I could take it or leave it. I went on HRT and within 2 weeks I felt fantastic again.
But wait, it gets better. 10 years into menopause we retired and moved out of the U.S.
Were I am now, HRT is easy and affordable to get the hormone tests and get on a dose designed for you. From a compounding pharmacy.
Now, at 62, sex feels like when I was 30. Sex is intense again, and I always “arrive.” Everytime.
That, my friends, will make any woman feel young and sexy again.
Meanwhile, they’ll have to pry these pills out of my cold and dead hands.
My friend said to ask you if you have a sister....
Thank's for sharing....😊
All this sounds wht my wife is going thru and she's about to be 30... I'm watchin my marriage slip slowly and its devastating to me...
Then uk, it's always me cuz I'm angry cuz there's no intimacy anymore cuz it just causes her pain.. and ik it's not her fault but I'm not even 30, and I got the sex life of what I would imagine a retired couple has (no offense intended)
@@hextacy1464Sometimes women have stuff come up that they don’t understand or may not want to explore, especially sexual traumas from either childhood or teen/young adult years. It’s a tender topic, so tread lightly. But you might want to ask her in all sincerity if her lack of desire or whatever might have to do with something she’s not talked about. She’d have to feel really safe with you emotionally to open up (if there’s anything like that going on.). I can hear your frustration, and I’m sorry.
@@markbouldin6513😂❤
@@akc1739and their doctors don’t ask them how their sex lives are, if they feel dry or have pain. This happens to every woman. Let’s say it loud! Vaginal atrophy is treatable!!
I believe it 100 percent. I’ve heard this from menopausal women. Menopause can make you feel zero desire for sex, you feel numb inside and you think it’s because you don’t love your husband anymore, now couple that with the vaginal atrophy, bladder and vulva pain. I started to think/feel this way until a friend told me about replacing my hormones. The difference is night and day. I was alive again!!
What did you replace your hormones with? I need info
@@LiLiperspectives4me I use testosterone and estradiol pellets and progesterone at night. I know Dr. Haver likes the estrogen patch better. Use what works for you.
I doubt this. More likely when women feel less sexual desitre, their partner responds by being an asshole, rather than a compassionate and understanding partner... then it makes you think: do I want to do this for the next 20 or 30 years? No. I'm sure it's not the case for everyone, but I think this is the more likely reason.
@@lindsaygoodwin3140 And why do women feel less sexual desire? Because they’re losing hormones at rapid rates. So it’s more than one reason and if your husband is an asshole about it then he was probably always an asshole. Not all men are though and they don’t know what they don’t know. It’s incumbent upon us women to explain this to them and if they’re still assholes about it then yes don’t tolerate that for the next 20yrs.
I stopped HRT about a year ago, well mostly because the Doc made me. Afterwards the flushes started the very next day. It’s been a long year. I’m mostly ok again now but I’ll never be the same. After my period stopped I could still feel that “time” when I should have been bleeding. This carried on for a very long time. The symptoms got too much so I asked my doctor for HRT he just flatly said no. I went to a lady doctor and got them that day. There are disadvantages to HRT as well. Make sure you know them. Also know it’s only putting it off‼️ weigh up the risks. It comes back when you stop the pills.
Good luck ladies, enjoy😉☘️
I am so happy that your algorithm popped up on my RUclips page. I could research things about menopause in perimenopause because I like most women had no idea what was going on with me. Thankfully my line of work allowed me to have a starting point. But all of the symptoms especially on this short reminds me that these issues don't make me the exception. I am part of this number...
The thing is insurance won't pay for the medication my doctor prescribed to treat VA and I can't afford the $200+ price tag, so there's that.😒
Have you tried generics, and Good Rx?
@@tracyd2598 Or a different doctor.
Relationships need intimacy to stay alive. Men and women both crave intimacy if their hormones are in check. You are who you are because of the hormones that have been raging through your body your entire life. When it stops everything stops. That definitely has an impact on your marriage. I had all of these problems with menopause and I’m so glad I am on HRT because my marriage and sex life is fantastic now. A few years ago I didn’t even think it was possible to get back what I felt I had lost. It was the hormones..
This is So True!
But when you were sturggling, was your partner supportive, or was he a dick? If your marriage is fantastic now... I'm guessing that even if you had squabbles and conflicts at first, he was still a supportive and understanding partner over-all.
@@lindsaygoodwin3140 my husband did not understand.. how could he? No man can understand what menopause is like. He tried to be supportive but after a while men give up. My relationship was in a bad place. When I started HRT I realized the problems we had were all because of my hormones. You can’t expect a man to understand. He just felt like I didn’t want him or love him anymore.
@@rhondadunn4228 a man can get online and research and learn just as easy as a woman.
Seems like he wasn't understanding at all and that you now just pill it up so he can have sex.
Sex is not just physical for women. We need to be treated right, too. You have to be loved inside and out.
Dont ruin it,for all the women,who can-, FINALLY, have a real life...by themselves🎉
No one is stopping you. Go be free, nobody cares anymore of you get a divorce. But if you value marriage maybe you'd want to know if your shitty moods are caused by a decaying pussy or not.
😂 yup!!!
Absolutely never been happier. As you get older your need for a man in your life is 0. I pay for jobs to be done. So worth it. Have no use for partner. Most of my friends have no partners. Friendship is fine but not living in my home 😂😂
Not a problem. Leave. Just leave his house, write a note to avoid him looking for You or calling the cops, then leave. Don't make a mess of it all, don't tryna ruin him before a divorce court, just leave and start doing that life You think You ever wanted - no big deal. He'll probably be relieved, too.
@keepingitreal618 congrats, now you know what it's like to be a dude. If it weren't for the fact that we lose half our stuff and have to pay our baby mama's for two decades, we would all be single and happy.
This doesn't surprise me at all. Once, Perimenopause started with me, my mind went south and I left my job. My Doctor sent me to a psychiatrist who gave me anti-depressants ($300 an hour) This was a female doctor she never mentioned Perimenopausal systems.
Answer: comprehensive sex education courses. We don't know anything about our bodies. This must change.
My sister in law went to a psychiatrist first too and it took her a long time to go to her gynecologist. We don’t talk much so I had little chance to tell her to stop with the antidepressants and just visit her gyno.
Thank you for these posts. I’m a BSN and I’d bet 50% of the things you talk about I’ve never heard before. Your posts are helping me deal with this so much. Please please keep it up.
Thank you again!!!
I really don't don't believe a lawyer said that. There are many reaaons for divorce, the most frequent I see are abuse - emotional or physical - and/or addictive behavior of some sort. Please stop putting the blame on women, because #1: men have sexual dysfunctions too, and #2: there is often another reason for lack of sexual interest, such as one partner being selfish & not caring about their partner's needs.