“I never knew rough hands could hold me so softly” SENT ME into absolute hysterics. I feel this story so hard and I’m so happy there’s so many of us that were able to get out of such scenarios. Prayers and help sent to the ones still stuck.
I'm still trying not to cry after watching this, but that line and her doubting her self in a better relationship is so reltable that it hurts. But i'm so happy for her and Adam, and i'm so thankful for my own relationship with my version of Adam. And I hope so many others can find that person to, and hope others can get out of the bad abusive relationships safely.
I am an adult, 30-year-old gay man from Poland. When I was 21, I met my first love, we were together for 5 years. I didn't know what was good/acceptable and what wasn't, the feeling of "this is first love, I will do anything for him" was terribly blinding. I was beaten, cheated, mentally abused, and convinced that, and I quote, "nobody will want you except me." After 5 long years, I gathered the strength and stopped this cycle. Even after the breakup, he tormented me for several years, submitted false reports to the police, and wrote letters to my relatives. Toxic love is the worst, all I want to say is if you don't have self-respect, no one will. Love yourself, love all of yourself and trust your instincts.
I'm so sorry u had to go thru that...but I'm very happy & proud that u got away! The self-respect thing is so true & it can be so easy to lose it. Loving all of yourself & trusting your instincts is def some of the best advice!! Sending u lots of love ~From Tennessee ❤🥰❤
I found my “Adam” his name is Chris & he has loved me for over 24yrs now so deeply and completely it’s nearly impossible to believe but the patience that man has in one finger is more than I’ve ever known.
Same 😊 15yrs with my husband and he still calls me beautiful everyday 🥹 sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve it or I think wow I’m lucky, but it’s because it feels like there are more shitty dudes out there out weighing the good, I shouldn’t have to feel “lucky” all men should be like this to their other half ❤
@@harrydavies2625 Sadly, enough men would NOT be like Celina's dad that many of us recognise he deserves attention--not so much because being a decent male-identified human is uncommon, but rather because we see and hear so much about the bad ones that it's good to be reminded that men are human and most of them are good humans. Bad men who treat women awfully get enough attention. One of them has just been elected President of the United States for the second time. In fact, I'm of the opinion that good humans of all genders and none deserve more attention, not just because they're good, but also because it's so easy to feel that the world we live in is terrifying and full of predators. When in fact, while they are common and dangerous, predatory people are still very much a minority, and they like to use our fear of them to train us to distrust everyone--especially the people who want to help.
@@harrydavies2625that’s kind of a dumb comment. We should praise people for things. It encourages people to do those things more often. And no, not every dad would do what her dad did sadly.
I teared tf up when you said “there are Adam’s out there” I’ve been and seen abusive relationships and im only 15 man thank you Ms spooky boo for giving me a little more hope for a good, safe positive space in a partner ur so sweet and strong we love you 💗🫀
I've had it happen literally. It was... defeating. I loved that guy with everything in me. I lost myself and self worth. In... months. Until I saw the real him. He was in the Army and I thought I could love the hate in his heart, out. I tried. Until I realized he was the problem. And I just exist now. That's it. I still have the scars, and the pain of just thinking about him physically hurts.
being emotionally abused and maniuplated by an alcoholic was probably one of the hardest things ive gone through - i also didnt listen to my parents - even his parents tried to warn me - this was almost 4 years ago and i still struggle to accept myself or maintain any type of relationship - i always think im unworthy and will be abanndonded - still searching for my "Adam" and starting to believe he does not exist - i almost gave up and ended it all - spent my nights wondering where i went wrong and why i was not enough - i still do at times - so thank you for sharing your story and making me feel a little less alone 💛
I was never warned. Nobody saw what went on behind closed doors because he acted like a good boyfriend around them. For the most part. I felt like you until 3 years ago when I met the man who will be my husband soon. He doesn't care if I go through his phone, and he re-ensures me.
@@brookemorneault9275 Find yourself and your worth. Love yourself from inside out. Then when you least expect it you will find your person. As Always Stay Strong & Stay Smiling Beautiful. ✌💜😊
Thank you for speaking about this not just in relation to Zach Bryan. But also to so many of us, especially the more empathetic we are, have been through a relationship like this. I haven’t been in a physically abusive relationship, well I guess it was. However I have been in two emotionally abusive relationships. And I didn’t think I would ever get into a painful relationship like that again. But I did and I felt all those things you mentioned. And then thankfully, amazingly I met my husband. Who is an angel, he always has my back 💯, he has protected me in so many ways. He is a remarkable gentle loving father to our daughter. Briana what you did was amazing! More power to you, and so many of us have been through it. Thank you Celina for sharing your pain with us too. Sending love to all of us who have known this pain. ❤
I'm glad you found your person, your Adam. I had my Adam for 24 beautiful years before pancreatic cancer took him from me at 46 yrs young. It took me 4 yrs and I thought I could fill that void. I met the biggest, grey rocking, love bombing narcissist and lost me. I've been making moves in the shadows and three year's later I'm finally at the end. Thank you Celina 🖤🖤🖤
I SOBBED watching this, cause I was in this situation for 14 years... but back in 2020, I finally had ENOUGH and walked away and in my mess, I found the most amazingly beautiful soul and I've never felt more loved in my entire life! ALWAYS PUT YOU FIRST ❤
Thank you. My court date for my protection order is the at the end of this month. im so anxious but messages like this comfort me deeply and remind me that this is the right decision, reminds me of a better future ahead. There is a better future ahead if we choose to pursue it.. we got this! speak up for you and for what you need to thrive my love 💕
I dropped the charges and he went right back to abusing me - I'm talking at court he was hugging and loving on me cut to three hours later it's like none of it ever happened, like I didn't just get him off of felony charges. He even had the audacity to say to me, "shoulda, woulda, coulda" after weeks of begging me and gaslighting me into dropping them. I know this is a common story but please... Keep with it! Get the PO for those of us that have made the mistake of going back. Best wishes
Thank you for spotlighting this. I honestly didn’t know anything about this couple (probably because I don’t like country and I’m in my late 40s lol) but her message is so strong. Thank you for linking back to her story on her podcast. She has brought light to something that is so quiet and scaring.
My “Zach” was a Levi. He abused me for 2 and a half years and he broke me in ways I didn’t think were possible. He got me pregnant and then walked away and consistently went back and forth between wanting us and not wanting us. He put his hands on me in front of my daughter and in front of my family then played the victim to everyone. I thought the only way to escape was to unalive myself but that meant leaving my daughter to be abused and hurt by him. I finally got away for good when I met my “Adam”. His name is Warren and he is the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. He took me and my daughter in and has loved us both since day one. He has never raised his voice at me or lifted his hand to hurt me. He has dealt with my trauma and never used anything against me. He sat quietly when I was yelling at him over something stupid because that’s all I had ever known was the screaming and fighting way of communicating my feelings. He has always apologized when he hurt my feelings and he has never once been rude disrespectful or mean to my beautiful baby girl. He has healed parts of me I didn’t even know were still broken. I am currently pregnant with my second child (his first biological child) and he has not even considered treating my daughter any differently because she is not his blood. It can be very difficult and shocking when you find someone who loves you after a Domestic Abuse relationship. Everything feels like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop and it feels like there’s something bad waiting right around the corner. But for me and my baby that bad never came and eventually he helped me learn to love myself again, helped me learn to trust again, and helped me learn that I was safe. He has supported me through every single decision I make and after being alone through my first pregnancy it’s a bit of a shell shock to have someone who caters to my every want or need in my second pregnancy and helps me with everything. So, To anyone in a DV situation I am living proof that there is someone out there who will love you unconditionally even with your trauma. You are strong enough to get out and I pray that you find the peace you deserve🩷
I was in an abusive relationship for 14 years. After I ended up in the hospital, I got addicted to pain meds, I was ready to give up on life only I have an amazing family and a friend that helped me get clean and in a better living situation. I had to adapt to living normal life again, going to ball games and socializing. Im now 9 years sober and have a 6 year old son and in a loving healthy relationship ( thankful I had my son when I was clean) .
I had a Zach, (literally his name was Zach too) and he was super emotionally abusive and I didn't think there would be a way out and I had a daughter with him. When I did leave, I found myself in a similar relationship with an equally awful man. When that finally ended I thought I was just going to be single because I didn't deserve love and I was a less than person. Then I met Chad, my boyfriend. He is my Adam. He is kind and loving and loves me for who I am flaws and all. He genuinely cares about me and my daughter, and I never thought I could feel this way in a relationship. I can't say enough great things about this man and I am so fucking grateful to be with him.
16 years ago i was in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship that lasted about 8 months and then was "saved" by someone who i thought was kind, compassionate and amazing--or at least made himself appear that way--but he ended up being his own kind of toxic emotional and mental abuse and i was in THAT relationship for 7.5 YEARS, even engaged... after dealing with both of those things i had lost so much of myself and was so confused..... it has taken awhile for me to find myself again. i'm in a HEALTHY relationship for almost 6 years now with one of my oldest friends and being with this person has ABSOLUTELY changed my life, just like adam has helped u celina this person has helped me. i didn't TRULY do any healing til being with her. i am so grateful. some days i still doubt myself or reality but she's there to set my mind straight.
when i was 23, i met a guy and we clicked right away. i moved in with him way too soon and he proceeded to control every aspect of my life: what i ate, what i wore, who i was friends with... it took me over a year to get away from him fully but it was worth it. if you're currently in a situation that seems hopeless, you've got this. you're stronger than you know and you WILL survive this ❤❤
I recently found my Adam. I am so very greatful. Some days I still struggle. Those thoughts of why did I stay so long go through my head all the time. He knows what I had gone through. I haven't told everything to others. He knows the most. He brings me up.
I found my “Adam” exactly two years ago on the first of this month and I’ve never felt more safe. Not once in my life would I have thought I’d be loved by someone who could teach me thoroughly what actual love is instead of Stockholm syndrome, manipulation, gaslighting, and abuse. I’m so grateful for him and he is my best friend.
Love normalizing these things as someone who struggled literally all alone in the same shit different pile, this helps people more than anyone could know 💞 thank you Celina and Brianna and let’s normalize what women go through instead of shaming and gaslighting them into hiding 💞💞💞
Celina, I am actually sobbing. I have literally never been able to put words to how I have felt in my current relationship and why it’s so hard to leave. But you explained it so well. Never have I wanted to admit that I am in an abusive relationship, but I am. I have been putting up with it for so long, that I can’t see a future with anyone else. I feel like I don’t deserve it. This though, has given me hope. There was a reason this popped up on my feed tonight. Thank you so so much.
I resonated so much with this. I too was still in school when I started an abusive relationship. My parents also tried to warn me and pull me away, but I fought harder to stay. He needed me to have faith in him, he needed me to believe in him, and he needed me to be on his side ... that was my conditioning. Plus, of course, anything bad that happened was my fault. If I had done this, then he wouldn't have been abusive. It took a couple of years, but I did get out - with the help of my parents, who never gave up. Then I met Todd who, like Adam, had the patience to help me build myself back up. To stand up for myself, to no longer be afraid. I love when I can make him smile or laugh, it's confirmation that I give back to him some of the happiness he gives me. I will never forget to be grateful to him for the life he helped me find and that we get to share together, and I do thank him for it often. It is possible. Celina's case isn't rare, I was able to find happiness after abuse too. You just need to take that first step.
I dated and married a woman like that, and was destined to continue that way until I literally met my Angel. The day I met my Current and forever Wife, still resonates with me 30 years later. We have been married for almost 28 years. I say this with no amount of shame, that my Wife SAVED me, more from myself than anything. She brought me back to GOD and gave me two wonderful children.
You're sincerity & honesty talking about tough subjects is truly remarkable. You're wise beyond your years & it shows in how relatable you speak. I'm nearly 50 & i enjoy you so much and look forward to seeing you flourish in life. I'm so happy you found someone that sees you for you. I've been married 25yrs & he's my Adam and always will be. 🖤
I’m buying your book after this, I love how you write. It’s truly magical. And makes you feel things maybe you’ve pushed back. Thank you for being vulnerable allowing us to relate and umm.. yeah love you sis.
I cried during this. Thank you for opening up. You hit everything nail on the head with this. Went through something very similar. We love you, you're beautiful ❤
I needed this. My abuser of 4 years just re-entered my life.. we broke up for 5 months after he cheated on me and lied about it over and over- he convinced me I was completely insane until the girl came to me and I had proof. This wasn’t his first time cheating on me either… it did get physical, he was extremely emotionally abusive as well. My body still carries trauma in ways I never expected for myself. 5 months of healing and rebuilding myself for him to walk right back in again. He is apologizing so perfectly, and saying (for now) all the right things, but there is alarm bells going off inside of me. I needed this video to slap me back to reality. I was doing so well and I cannot let this happen all over again. Thank you again. Love u. 🖤
I divorced my abuser a few months ago and I'm just now realizing how much of myself I lost in that relationship, I'm 36, I met him when I was 17 and he was my whole world, but the more I grew the angrier he became. Celina described this so well, I finally have peace, just know whatever you are going through you are NOT alone and you are so loved and you will be okay. ❤
I was in a decade+ long relationship that also started when I was 17. And the emotional manipulation, gaslighting all gradually came out. During this time I became disabled and depended on him helping me recover my mobility. So I was terrified to lose him despite me saying out loud “I don’t want to love you anymore because I just get hurt by it.” It takes a lot to leave such a long relationship. You did the best thing for you. Never second guess it. Hope your heart now has peace, Becky ❤
I'm 45 now and I have to tell you that your age now was my best time in my life. I felt more secure in my mind than ever before and where my strength really started to grow. Now I look back and am not mourning the bits I lost of myself but happy with who I became because of that loss if that makes sense. You will heal and you will be better from what you've been through. I hope you find love when it's time and after you've healed enough not to take any trauma out on the next person. Everyone deserves someone who will cherish them and not hurt them. 🖤
Love yourself first. Grab your gal pals and go see a movie or go it to a restaurant and order what you want. I had my first boyfriend at 16, he was 21. He was so kind when it was just the two of us, but when were around his friends he was a controlling dolt. On New Years Eve 1988 - 1989 we had a disagreement and he slit his wrists with a safety razor. He said he'd kill himself if we ever broke up. Well the little dink is still alive and kicking 34 years later.
@@MothproofKT Thank you so much for your kind words and I'm so sorry that happened to you, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I hope that you are doing much better now. I'm making tiny steps towards peace, hard to do during this time of year when you are heartbroken, but your message warmed my heart. Thank you again.
Thank you for posting this. I'm 38 and am getting out of a five year emotionally abusive relationship. Everything you touched on is so true. It's important to talk about our abuse even if it feels embarrassing. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say I love you and Adam's relationship❤
Wow, I didn't expect to hear my story coming out of your mouth today. I've done therapy, but hearing your story made me realise a few things about my reactions that never occurred to me before. Thank you, Celina.
I literally just got out of one of those kinda relationships last week after being trapped in it for over a year. Thank you for uploading this video it actually really helped me a lot. He’d always make me feel like I was wrong and that I was the problem and he was so good at manipulating and being narcissistic I fell for it all. He caused my mental health to decline the worst it’s ever been. I was starting to get scared of my own thoughts and I was terrified of him and always extremely cautious of what I say and do. It hurts so bad and I still feel like I’m downing . I’m just glad I finally ended things with him because it made me so sad seeing myself put up with something I don’t deserve to be put through. I treated him like he was my world. And he’d toss me around and pick fights and blame it on me and say I was the problem in return. Celina I really appreciate you for uploading this video. You’re one of my top favorite RUclipsrs I’ve been watching since covid. ❤😢
I found my Adam three years ago. I hear the words coming out of your mouth and it sounds like my life. I’m older than you but it sounds just like your recalling my past. I’m learning how to love myself now. I’m very blessed to have “Adam” Chris is his name. When you said what you said about checking his phone I’ve never related to anything so much in my life. Sometimes it feels too good to be true that he only wants to be with me. My past has been so bad that how could I have an amazing future with such an amazing man? But I’m trying and I know God has blessed me. I love you, beautiful girl and I love your videos.
i luved this format, luved the talking 1 on 1 vibes. super serious, super inspirational. i've had my zach too and i've found my adam as well. so eternally grateful
From someone that was abused mentally emotionally physically by my family for 26 years. Still in a volatile situation now today. Thank you for making this
I found my Adam 17 years ago. It took him 8 years of consistently, patiently, gently, tirelessly, and sometimes painstakingly loving me until I realized what I had and how carefully he held my heart. I am precious to him, and he shows me EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. For anyone out ther struggling or worried they'll never find their Adam, hang in there. Hes out there. Thanks for sharing, Celina 💛
This video touched my heart so much. I've been through abuse but found my "Adam" too. It's sad that we go through this, but it's beautiful when we find both our voice and our champion.
I was in a couple of toxic relationships and 1 try to strangle/kill me in front of my 12 y.o. daughter at the time😢 ty for you sharing your experiences. This is a hard time for women in America 💔
You are amazing. Thanks for using your platform this way and holding space for the victims of abuse. I left my abuser of ten years, a little over a year ago and it is still hard to believe I am worthy of an “Adam” sometimes, but I know I deserve love and my time will come. Watching you two together gives me hope. You are amazing Celina. I am so excited to watch you become a mama. ❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for expressing your experience, it really resonated with me. I’ve gone through similar and thx goodness i was able to heal and learn what true love is, love for myself and love from a kind and gentle man.
"I never knew rough hands could hold me so softly" girl l'm crying. That's so beautiful and reminds me of my boyfriend. I'm so grateful for your channel, you're incredible 🖤🌻
I've never heard of Zach Bryan until this video, but every single word you said HIT hard. I gaslit my parents, the pain was comfort, I was 'less than' him, I backed him up every time he f**ked up and I comforted him. I let him hit me, grab me, hold my arms down, yell in my face. I let him control what I wore, what color my hair was, my makeup, who I talked to, the games I played, the words that came out of my mouth, etc.. that was 10 years of me being stomped into the ground by him, and I also found my Adam. I'm still embarrassed, I still feel guilty, like a burden sometimes, etc. but I plan on writing a book to help others. I'm a mental health advocate and I'd scream that from rooftops every day of my life because if I can help even just ONE person see their worth again, it'd all be worth it.
GIRL YOU ARE SO BRAVE FOR TALKING ABOUT THIS!!! really i am so glad you can say this and know how much better your current relationship is compared to before 💗
Fun fact, my dad was in the Navy with Zach. I'm not lying, I swear. My dad has mentioned it on many occasions. They weren't best buddies, but they were friends
I just got out of an abusive relationship. It was very shortived but because of the extent of my injuries, i know I could be dead the next time. But let me tell you that i fwlt everything, the love bombing, the shame, the embarrassment, the addiction to that love, and walking on eggshells undermining my own feelings and healing to save his.. i am still dealing with the after math but thank you because i really do feel embarrassed and ashamed that i thought i could fix someone because his mental illness 😔 and i felt like i wanna self isolate but this gave me hope to come out of the darkness.
NEVER EVER feel ashamed or embarrassed for what you went through, what you survived! Never! I don't know you but I'm so proud and relieved you made it out safely, it was not your fault, YOU did nothing wrong! Your kind heart saw a damaged soul and you tried to help. There is NOTHING wrong with what you did! Know in yourself that you are a decent and kind person and you deserved so much better! I truly hope you are safe and happier now ❤
I am so glad I pay attention and I have so many attachment issues because of my mother's second husband. I had a realtionship that if it wasn't long distance would have probaly been so much worse. What shocked me into leaving (though it was so so so much more on the back burner of my mind) was when I asked him to stop saying "You have so much potential" it was almost exclsively in refense to my weight (I'm a 5'11 300ish pound woman) I have struggled with my realtionship to food for years and I said that. I explained how it made me feel- Fat, ugly, like he would only love me skinny, ect. We got into a huge fight because he said again after I had asked him twice. I asked can you even empathize with why this is hurting me? He said no so I said I was done. I refused to be with a man who couldn't even empathize with me. That is just one thing out of the dozen of horrible things I can't post on YT. I try to lighten the hurt and the entire situation because I know it could have been so so much worse and it did leave me hurt but I'm mostly healed. But it was a horrible situation and I'm just glad I had enough pre-trauma to recognize the red flags and run.
Makes me cry and thank you for sharing. I have been in several abusive relationships. They are the knight in shining armor Narcissist and then you realize it's too late. There are many forms of abuse. Thank you for the video and the reminder.
We love you Celina! Thank you being unapologetically you! You speaking on this topic is WHY so many people love you. We are so happy that you overcome everything sent to break you. 🥹❤️
My first real relationship was with a man that would emotionally and mentally abuse me. Things never got physical (thankfully) but he was quick to anger, ignored me a lot, embarrassed me publicly, made me cry on numerous occasions, made me feel like I needed him in order to be loved and, while living with him for six months, treated me like a maid. I stayed for a hear and a half. I'm still in therapy and dealing with a lot because of him. I had the courage to leave him in December of 2021. It's been three years since then. We had gotten a dog that I kept and she is my soul dog. I am now with my 'Adam'. It's only been just over a month and yet I already love him so deeply. He gives me the princess treatment, wants to do the things I enjoy, encourages me, truly listens to me, comforts me, wants me to be a part of every aspect of his life and he never makes me feel less than. I still get insecure and go back to how I was before. I get scared he'll leave but he reassures me that he loves me and isn't going anywhere. He's helping me find my peace.
You have described me my situation and how I currently feel about myself and it’s probably the darkest moment of my entire life and I wish I could tell you all about it because I really need a friend right now.. I really really do
Celina im so sorry you had to go through something like this it horrible and im so glad your dad was there to protect you, i dont have a story like this but i fully understand everything and im happy that you have found someone that will love you so much and get you through your lowest times❤️
I was in an abusive relationship for 7 years. Threats on how he would end me and how no one would find me made me never want to leave. I got so skinny I was so stressed I began to develop bad acne. I finally left but not before he dislocated my jaw and got me pregnant. I prayed to god every night that I didn’t want a child with a monster. That I didn’t want my child to be like him. 4 months later I had a miscarriage. I moved away to another state. Went through so much therapy. I am happy to be where I am now. I volunteer at women shelters all the time and congratulate them for finally getting away. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. You help those around us to realize you can leave it may be hard like mine but you can leave. We love you Celina.
This is so upsetting to find out. I don't really follow news and I didn't know any of this but I sang a zach Bryan song at my six year old daughters funeral. Something in the orange was our special song we sang together.
I'm 29 (almost 30) and met my "Adam" almost eight years ago. I was in a really bad place due to my emotionally abusive ex and was on the verge of just not being here anymore. Thanks to my current husband and my close friends at the time (all online because the ex made sure I didn't have any irl ones...) I found the strength to finally leave. I got out and I literally cried when I finally did it. I didn't have to deal with him telling me how fat I was getting or how he was the only one who could ever love someone like me because I never did anything right. I started dating Trey (my "Adam") a few months after it all went down and he helped me in so many ways. He pushes me to be better but doesn't bully me or put me down when I fuck up. I'm still suffering from the lack of self-esteem but I'm getting better every day. I can honestly say that my husband saved me back then and I am so grateful that I was able to meet him
I don't know who he is, but up until 2:50 I felt you were describing my last relationship & speaking directly to me. It's been 2 years & I'm still having a hard time. Everything you described is so exact that it's scary.
I'm there with you. This sounds like every relationship I ever had until my current one. Guess I never fully realized I had a shitty taste for partners and kept getting with psychos. She described the feelings so intensely accurate
When you were talking about your high school bf and about the love bombing being a drug i started bawling because now i finally know how to put my last relationship into words. He was socipath. I loved him (still do sadly) and we were so happy then one day he just changed and started getting really mean and ungrateful. I put eveything into our relationship only for him to barely move a pinky. It ended horribly and it was deserved for the things he did physically, emotinally, and mentally to me. I thought he was the one so thats why i always gave it my all to keep going and to get over the obstacles that were our fights and his outbursts because i wanted a future with him so badly because he made me feel loved after i had given up on it. Me and him were an unexpected couple, but we made it far enough to be high school sweethearts, then 5 months after we graduated is when he started to become this guy i didn't know. He truly became a whole different person and i kind of think it was because of his substance issues. Turns out he cheated on me the last month ish too. The day after we broke up he posted a picture of a girl saying "thank you for being the best thing to ever happen to me" which is a bullshit lie. She wasnt the person to help him pass all his classes to graduate. She wasnt the person to inspire him to quit his fast food job to pursue his passion in tattooing. She wasnt there for 4 fucking years. It hurts so much, and i still miss him, i miss the good days where we'd just smile at each other and just not say a word but just bask in each other's company.
Very similar situation here. It wasn’t in high school, but I was 18 when my ex and I met. We had been close friends for a year, he disappeared, turns out his addiction got the best of him and he was forced into a behavioral facility. I was there for him every step of the way. After a year of recovery and mental health work passed, we gave a relationship a try. I attended every GA meeting with him that I could and was invited to. I was supportive and encouraging the whole way. I loved him to smithereens. Turns out, he was cheating on me the entirety of our relationship with some married mom from his office job. This was his “best friend” along with another woman (she didn’t cheat with him, she was a decent person. He introduced us after months into our relationship, she hugged me even. I found out a month after that and left him after 3 years of deep feelings. Called him out. He ended up saying similar things over Twitter about her, sending arrangements and gifts to her at work as he worked somewhere different at that point. Wrote a heartfelt message about how they were soulmates and that he was so happy to have found his “missing piece”. He never did or wrote anything like that for me. Long story short, it may have been his hypomania and she was borderline personality, and because of that I hope he got his shit together welly and truly. I’m still upset, 8 years later, but I’ve accepted what happened and I still care. For my friend, not my cheater :(
@mun3698 you worded it beautifully at the end. "I still care for my friend, not my cheater." I wish my ex would get his addiction and anger problems in order. This break up is still fresh to me so I do miss him a lot. We were in love but like I said, he just changed suddenly. It was scary how easily he changed. I loved his family as well and they accepted me into the family, but now they all hate me because of lies he told them about me, but I wasn't the one forcing his gf to do stuff. It sucks, but it's for the better. I still wish in the future we'll cross paths again and possibly re try a friendship at least because that's all I want is to talk to him and be around the guy I use to know.
I met my "Adam" (his name is Hudson) 5 years ago... I finally am finding myself, my voice, my trust, I don't fear anything that I used to anymore. I know he has my back & I have his. I have no idea about who the people are, this video is talking about, but the essence resonates with me. Hello from the Fleurieu Peninsula in South Australia
You are so amazing! I don't pay a lot of attention to what's going on in the entertainment industry and what this situation is, but I hope you tagged her so she could see this. I think your commentary will touch pretty much every person who reads it as most of us have been in at least one shifty relationship that we didn't deserve. I love this post, I hope you never quit being you. You really are a treasure! ❤
This put me threw such a mental state because my life was just like this with my mom, she was in an abusive relationship with my dad.. she left him and found my stepdad who shows love that she never new she had or needed. Thank you Celina for telling this story because its so connectable, i love you so much.
I honestly didn't know who Zach, Brianna, or Celina were until this came in my RUclips recommended, but I can say that I the strength it took for Brianna and Celina to talk about these things are immeasurable. I have had far too many of my personal "Zach"'s and started dating my personal "Adam" almost two years ago now. The amount of unlearning and learning I have had to do to make my current relationship healthy, both with my partner and with myself, is something no one should ever have to go through, and I am so eternally grateful for the people who share their experiences; it was people who spoke up like this that gave me the courage to leave, even when my life was in danger and I felt like I would be and have no one. I am so proud of both of you for speaking up and I hope all of us who have had to deal with the "Zach"'s of the world get the peace, love, and respect that we deserve. So much love to all of you.
I went through a relationship like that 5 yrs my freshman year to after senior year. Worst relationship ever I’m surprised I’m alive to this day. My husband saved me and I’ve been so blessed by him. ❤
I went through an abusive relationship and now am so happy. It's so sad when men and women get abused, I'm sending all the love to everyone! If you need and ear or to vent just say so. LOVE AND HEALING TO EVERYONE!
this is such an important conversation to have and these are such important stories to be shared. it really sucks that the internet is being flooded with people romanticizing abuse now more than ever it feels like and people diminishing the voices and experiences of abuse victims, but that is nothing new. so in summation "why are you talking about this" because you can and actually have something to add to the conversation. so thank you for not only possibly helping even one single person leave a situation like that. but hopefully preventing many from falling into the pitfall that is the high of chasing the "good/perfect" parts of a massively abusive relationship.
I genuinely love Celina so much and I can’t believe that such sweet people or even people at all have to go through this. I am so thankful for people like Adam, comforting someone they love when they need it and showing them what love is supposed to be. I’m so happy they met each other and that Celina is so happy now. I’m so happy for everyone who has been through anything at all and are such happy people now❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
It was trapped in a DV situation for 18 years, I got out nearly 8 years ago, I will be on my own forever, I’m too old(52😱) too damaged, I’m still scared of everything, even leaving my house, and too scared and untrusting, luckily, I had my mum, my rock, my best friend, then, a few weeks back, while I was staying with mum for the weekend, I got up one morning and she had died suddenly in her sleep, now I feel like my world had imploded, I’m alone, and I’m back to square one with my mental health, the old demon of self harm is back again after 7 years, but I have to have an outlet for the pain, it’ll pass, but I think I’m broken beyond repair now, I just need to get a pet friendly place so I can surround myself with the pure love of a dog…or three and a ginger cat, because let’s face it, they’re lunatics and a constant source of entertainment.
Celina. I have been living a hell like this for 10 years, physically, emotionally, financially. A couple years ago I had to become a full time SAHM, due to my daughters health condition, after my dad died. Who was my best friend, i ended up taking my kids dad back and after I got us a home that I thought was going to be our forever home. His mask came off, and everything has got worse, and just repeated. I have no access to his money, he doesn't allow me to work outside the home, because he won't come home and be a father so i can do so. So I have to find work under the table, where she can come with me, just so I can make sure she has what she needs. I'm trying to leave, but idk what to do. I have no money, Homeschool her. No one to help, and no where to go, so I know exactly what you mean, with everything you just spoke about and I thank you for it... I love you
amen girl. it took me over 17 years to finally end it. im ashamed and proud. i totally lost myself back then and it hurts to think about now. we are warriors and we are worth it. nothing but love xo
I felt this sooooo much!! My Adam is named Josh, we've been together now 19 yrs ❤ I didn't know a man could be so loving until Josh!! Thank you for sharing!!
This was a very needed video. I never knew you went through things like that yourself. I went through 11 years of my own "Zach" and I was young when it all happened, but I finally found my own Adam, and yes his name is actually Adam too.❤ I could never want a love better than him now because I love myself again too 🥹
What you said about dating a sociopath really struck with me. I was in a relationship with a narcissistic sociopath who did all the things you said and more. I was in this relationship for 5 years. It wasn't until a coworker saw him abuse me and called it out with me. I honestly don't know what would have happened if they had not stepped in. It has been 10 years and I am still figuring out who I am, and I still do not trust anyone. I pray that I find someone like Adam to help me reignite my trust and love. Thank you for sharing this message.
The scariest thing about listening to Celina talk about this is I lived all of those things too… way too many of us have. It’s so hard to find the strength to leave but it’s the best thing you can do for yourself.
"I never knew rough hands could hold me so softly" Is such a beautiful saying. I've never felt loved like Celina does by Adam, only the former she talks of. We all will find that person who is right for us. You have to crack a few dud rocks before you find a geode.
“I never knew rough hands could hold me so softly” SENT ME into absolute hysterics. I feel this story so hard and I’m so happy there’s so many of us that were able to get out of such scenarios. Prayers and help sent to the ones still stuck.
Same😢❤
I'm still trying not to cry after watching this, but that line and her doubting her self in a better relationship is so reltable that it hurts. But i'm so happy for her and Adam, and i'm so thankful for my own relationship with my version of Adam. And I hope so many others can find that person to, and hope others can get out of the bad abusive relationships safely.
I am an adult, 30-year-old gay man from Poland. When I was 21, I met my first love, we were together for 5 years. I didn't know what was good/acceptable and what wasn't, the feeling of "this is first love, I will do anything for him" was terribly blinding. I was beaten, cheated, mentally abused, and convinced that, and I quote, "nobody will want you except me." After 5 long years, I gathered the strength and stopped this cycle. Even after the breakup, he tormented me for several years, submitted false reports to the police, and wrote letters to my relatives. Toxic love is the worst, all I want to say is if you don't have self-respect, no one will. Love yourself, love all of yourself and trust your instincts.
I'm so sorry u had to go thru that...but I'm very happy & proud that u got away! The self-respect thing is so true & it can be so easy to lose it. Loving all of yourself & trusting your instincts is def some of the best advice!! Sending u lots of love ~From Tennessee ❤🥰❤
Well done for finding the strength and courage to leave. I hope that you find someone who loves you and values you as a person.
@@Yakugari So happy to read you got tf outtttt. I hope you love yourself now and that you know your worth. As Always Stay Strong & Stay Smiling. ✌💜😊
I am so so so proud of you! It takes so much strength to leave and then heal! You are amazing, and one day, you'll have that GOOD love. ❤
I found my “Adam” his name is Chris & he has loved me for over 24yrs now so deeply and completely it’s nearly impossible to believe but the patience that man has in one finger is more than I’ve ever known.
Me too!! My Chris & I have been together for 20 years now.
that is so beautiful!
Same 😊 15yrs with my husband and he still calls me beautiful everyday 🥹 sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve it or I think wow I’m lucky, but it’s because it feels like there are more shitty dudes out there out weighing the good, I shouldn’t have to feel “lucky” all men should be like this to their other half ❤
Mine has been 25 years. Can’t believe how fast time has gone
Mine is also a Chris and 10 years in and he’s still incredibly patient with me ❤
“and the pain started to feel like comfort” DAMN 😭
4:25 omg, Celina, I am so proud that your dad threw him out of the house for you. That he protected you. We need more men like that in this world 🫶🏻
fr perioddddd
Fr
Dont praise simple and common actions most men would do what her dad did
@@harrydavies2625 Sadly, enough men would NOT be like Celina's dad that many of us recognise he deserves attention--not so much because being a decent male-identified human is uncommon, but rather because we see and hear so much about the bad ones that it's good to be reminded that men are human and most of them are good humans. Bad men who treat women awfully get enough attention. One of them has just been elected President of the United States for the second time. In fact, I'm of the opinion that good humans of all genders and none deserve more attention, not just because they're good, but also because it's so easy to feel that the world we live in is terrifying and full of predators. When in fact, while they are common and dangerous, predatory people are still very much a minority, and they like to use our fear of them to train us to distrust everyone--especially the people who want to help.
@@harrydavies2625that’s kind of a dumb comment. We should praise people for things. It encourages people to do those things more often. And no, not every dad would do what her dad did sadly.
As soon as she starts talking about Adam I cry 😭❤️🩹
We love you Adam 💖
I teared tf up when you said “there are Adam’s out there” I’ve been and seen abusive relationships and im only 15 man thank you Ms spooky boo for giving me a little more hope for a good, safe positive space in a partner ur so sweet and strong we love you 💗🫀
“When you’re in a relationship like that you get rewritten”
YES.
thank you for this Celina.
❤
I've had it happen literally. It was... defeating. I loved that guy with everything in me. I lost myself and self worth. In... months. Until I saw the real him. He was in the Army and I thought I could love the hate in his heart, out. I tried. Until I realized he was the problem. And I just exist now. That's it. I still have the scars, and the pain of just thinking about him physically hurts.
being emotionally abused and maniuplated by an alcoholic was probably one of the hardest things ive gone through - i also didnt listen to my parents - even his parents tried to warn me - this was almost 4 years ago and i still struggle to accept myself or maintain any type of relationship - i always think im unworthy and will be abanndonded - still searching for my "Adam" and starting to believe he does not exist - i almost gave up and ended it all - spent my nights wondering where i went wrong and why i was not enough - i still do at times - so thank you for sharing your story and making me feel a little less alone 💛
You are seen and loved. You are worth more than you know. Big hugs 🤗🤗🤗
I was never warned. Nobody saw what went on behind closed doors because he acted like a good boyfriend around them. For the most part. I felt like you until 3 years ago when I met the man who will be my husband soon. He doesn't care if I go through his phone, and he re-ensures me.
@@brookemorneault9275 Find yourself and your worth. Love yourself from inside out. Then when you least expect it you will find your person. As Always Stay Strong & Stay Smiling Beautiful. ✌💜😊
This!!!
No one understands unless they’ve been through it. She’ll find happiness soon, she deserves that ❤
Thank you for speaking about this not just in relation to Zach Bryan. But also to so many of us, especially the more empathetic we are, have been through a relationship like this. I haven’t been in a physically abusive relationship, well I guess it was. However I have been in two emotionally abusive relationships. And I didn’t think I would ever get into a painful relationship like that again. But I did and I felt all those things you mentioned.
And then thankfully, amazingly I met my husband. Who is an angel, he always has my back 💯, he has protected me in so many ways. He is a remarkable gentle loving father to our daughter. Briana what you did was amazing! More power to you, and so many of us have been through it. Thank you Celina for sharing your pain with us too. Sending love to all of us who have known this pain. ❤
I'm glad you found your person, your Adam. I had my Adam for 24 beautiful years before pancreatic cancer took him from me at 46 yrs young.
It took me 4 yrs and I thought I could fill that void. I met the biggest, grey rocking, love bombing narcissist and lost me. I've been making moves in the shadows and three year's later I'm finally at the end. Thank you Celina 🖤🖤🖤
I love that you are always willing to be vulnerable with your fans.
I SOBBED watching this, cause I was in this situation for 14 years... but back in 2020, I finally had ENOUGH and walked away and in my mess, I found the most amazingly beautiful soul and I've never felt more loved in my entire life! ALWAYS PUT YOU FIRST ❤
Thank you. My court date for my protection order is the at the end of this month. im so anxious but messages like this comfort me deeply and remind me that this is the right decision, reminds me of a better future ahead. There is a better future ahead if we choose to pursue it.. we got this! speak up for you and for what you need to thrive my love 💕
@@Resilience252 Stay Strong & Stay Smiling!! ✌💜😊
I dropped the charges and he went right back to abusing me - I'm talking at court he was hugging and loving on me cut to three hours later it's like none of it ever happened, like I didn't just get him off of felony charges. He even had the audacity to say to me, "shoulda, woulda, coulda" after weeks of begging me and gaslighting me into dropping them. I know this is a common story but please... Keep with it! Get the PO for those of us that have made the mistake of going back. Best wishes
Stay safe!
You can do this.
Trust your instincts.
I'm so very proud of you.
Stay safe ❤️
Thank you for spotlighting this. I honestly didn’t know anything about this couple (probably because I don’t like country and I’m in my late 40s lol) but her message is so strong. Thank you for linking back to her story on her podcast. She has brought light to something that is so quiet and scaring.
I love country music but I still haven't heard of this. It's clearly not getting enough publicity.
My “Zach” was a Levi. He abused me for 2 and a half years and he broke me in ways I didn’t think were possible. He got me pregnant and then walked away and consistently went back and forth between wanting us and not wanting us. He put his hands on me in front of my daughter and in front of my family then played the victim to everyone. I thought the only way to escape was to unalive myself but that meant leaving my daughter to be abused and hurt by him. I finally got away for good when I met my “Adam”. His name is Warren and he is the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. He took me and my daughter in and has loved us both since day one. He has never raised his voice at me or lifted his hand to hurt me. He has dealt with my trauma and never used anything against me. He sat quietly when I was yelling at him over something stupid because that’s all I had ever known was the screaming and fighting way of communicating my feelings. He has always apologized when he hurt my feelings and he has never once been rude disrespectful or mean to my beautiful baby girl. He has healed parts of me I didn’t even know were still broken. I am currently pregnant with my second child (his first biological child) and he has not even considered treating my daughter any differently because she is not his blood. It can be very difficult and shocking when you find someone who loves you after a Domestic Abuse relationship. Everything feels like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop and it feels like there’s something bad waiting right around the corner. But for me and my baby that bad never came and eventually he helped me learn to love myself again, helped me learn to trust again, and helped me learn that I was safe. He has supported me through every single decision I make and after being alone through my first pregnancy it’s a bit of a shell shock to have someone who caters to my every want or need in my second pregnancy and helps me with everything. So, To anyone in a DV situation I am living proof that there is someone out there who will love you unconditionally even with your trauma. You are strong enough to get out and I pray that you find the peace you deserve🩷
I was in an abusive relationship for 14 years. After I ended up in the hospital, I got addicted to pain meds, I was ready to give up on life only I have an amazing family and a friend that helped me get clean and in a better living situation. I had to adapt to living normal life again, going to ball games and socializing. Im now 9 years sober and have a 6 year old son and in a loving healthy relationship ( thankful I had my son when I was clean) .
I’m glad you got out, and are doing better!
@DoubleA-Batteryacid thank you very much 🙂
@ your welcome!!☺️
I had a Zach, (literally his name was Zach too) and he was super emotionally abusive and I didn't think there would be a way out and I had a daughter with him. When I did leave, I found myself in a similar relationship with an equally awful man. When that finally ended I thought I was just going to be single because I didn't deserve love and I was a less than person. Then I met Chad, my boyfriend. He is my Adam. He is kind and loving and loves me for who I am flaws and all. He genuinely cares about me and my daughter, and I never thought I could feel this way in a relationship. I can't say enough great things about this man and I am so fucking grateful to be with him.
This made me cry so much as someone going through this type of break up from a relationship. It hits home so hard.
16 years ago i was in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship that lasted about 8 months and then was "saved" by someone who i thought was kind, compassionate and amazing--or at least made himself appear that way--but he ended up being his own kind of toxic emotional and mental abuse and i was in THAT relationship for 7.5 YEARS, even engaged... after dealing with both of those things i had lost so much of myself and was so confused..... it has taken awhile for me to find myself again. i'm in a HEALTHY relationship for almost 6 years now with one of my oldest friends and being with this person has ABSOLUTELY changed my life, just like adam has helped u celina this person has helped me. i didn't TRULY do any healing til being with her. i am so grateful. some days i still doubt myself or reality but she's there to set my mind straight.
I love the way you talk about Adam! 💙
Also I love how you two love each other 💙💙💙 keep that pride in who you are!
when i was 23, i met a guy and we clicked right away. i moved in with him way too soon and he proceeded to control every aspect of my life: what i ate, what i wore, who i was friends with... it took me over a year to get away from him fully but it was worth it.
if you're currently in a situation that seems hopeless, you've got this. you're stronger than you know and you WILL survive this ❤❤
I recently found my Adam. I am so very greatful. Some days I still struggle. Those thoughts of why did I stay so long go through my head all the time. He knows what I had gone through. I haven't told everything to others. He knows the most. He brings me up.
I found my “Adam” exactly two years ago on the first of this month and I’ve never felt more safe. Not once in my life would I have thought I’d be loved by someone who could teach me thoroughly what actual love is instead of Stockholm syndrome, manipulation, gaslighting, and abuse. I’m so grateful for him and he is my best friend.
Love normalizing these things as someone who struggled literally all alone in the same shit different pile, this helps people more than anyone could know 💞 thank you Celina and Brianna and let’s normalize what women go through instead of shaming and gaslighting them into hiding 💞💞💞
Celina, I am actually sobbing. I have literally never been able to put words to how I have felt in my current relationship and why it’s so hard to leave. But you explained it so well. Never have I wanted to admit that I am in an abusive relationship, but I am. I have been putting up with it for so long, that I can’t see a future with anyone else. I feel like I don’t deserve it. This though, has given me hope. There was a reason this popped up on my feed tonight. Thank you so so much.
I resonated so much with this. I too was still in school when I started an abusive relationship. My parents also tried to warn me and pull me away, but I fought harder to stay. He needed me to have faith in him, he needed me to believe in him, and he needed me to be on his side ... that was my conditioning. Plus, of course, anything bad that happened was my fault. If I had done this, then he wouldn't have been abusive. It took a couple of years, but I did get out - with the help of my parents, who never gave up.
Then I met Todd who, like Adam, had the patience to help me build myself back up. To stand up for myself, to no longer be afraid. I love when I can make him smile or laugh, it's confirmation that I give back to him some of the happiness he gives me. I will never forget to be grateful to him for the life he helped me find and that we get to share together, and I do thank him for it often.
It is possible. Celina's case isn't rare, I was able to find happiness after abuse too. You just need to take that first step.
I dated and married a woman like that, and was destined to continue that way until I literally met my Angel. The day I met my Current and forever Wife, still resonates with me 30 years later. We have been married for almost 28 years. I say this with no amount of shame, that my Wife SAVED me, more from myself than anything. She brought me back to GOD and gave me two wonderful children.
I love you Celina you and Kris have quiet literally saved my life! Tysm also very very very proud of you and Kris !! ❤❤❤
Same!!
Me too
How sad 😢..
You're sincerity & honesty talking about tough subjects is truly remarkable. You're wise beyond your years & it shows in how relatable you speak. I'm nearly 50 & i enjoy you so much and look forward to seeing you flourish in life. I'm so happy you found someone that sees you for you. I've been married 25yrs & he's my Adam and always will be. 🖤
Such powerful words. Made me cry, as someone who has been though this. Thank you ❤
I’m buying your book after this, I love how you write. It’s truly magical. And makes you feel things maybe you’ve pushed back. Thank you for being vulnerable allowing us to relate and umm.. yeah love you sis.
I cried during this. Thank you for opening up. You hit everything nail on the head with this. Went through something very similar. We love you, you're beautiful ❤
Your the best RUclipsr ever you always put a smile on my face ❤
I needed this. My abuser of 4 years just re-entered my life.. we broke up for 5 months after he cheated on me and lied about it over and over- he convinced me I was completely insane until the girl came to me and I had proof. This wasn’t his first time cheating on me either… it did get physical, he was extremely emotionally abusive as well. My body still carries trauma in ways I never expected for myself.
5 months of healing and rebuilding myself for him to walk right back in again. He is apologizing so perfectly, and saying (for now) all the right things, but there is alarm bells going off inside of me.
I needed this video to slap me back to reality. I was doing so well and I cannot let this happen all over again.
Thank you again. Love u. 🖤
I divorced my abuser a few months ago and I'm just now realizing how much of myself I lost in that relationship, I'm 36, I met him when I was 17 and he was my whole world, but the more I grew the angrier he became. Celina described this so well, I finally have peace, just know whatever you are going through you are NOT alone and you are so loved and you will be okay. ❤
I was in a decade+ long relationship that also started when I was 17. And the emotional manipulation, gaslighting all gradually came out.
During this time I became disabled and depended on him helping me recover my mobility.
So I was terrified to lose him despite me saying out loud “I don’t want to love you anymore because I just get hurt by it.”
It takes a lot to leave such a long relationship. You did the best thing for you. Never second guess it.
Hope your heart now has peace, Becky ❤
I'm 45 now and I have to tell you that your age now was my best time in my life. I felt more secure in my mind than ever before and where my strength really started to grow. Now I look back and am not mourning the bits I lost of myself but happy with who I became because of that loss if that makes sense. You will heal and you will be better from what you've been through. I hope you find love when it's time and after you've healed enough not to take any trauma out on the next person. Everyone deserves someone who will cherish them and not hurt them. 🖤
I’m so glad you left them. Be safe ❤
Love yourself first. Grab your gal pals and go see a movie or go it to a restaurant and order what you want. I had my first boyfriend at 16, he was 21. He was so kind when it was just the two of us, but when were around his friends he was a controlling dolt. On New Years Eve 1988 - 1989 we had a disagreement and he slit his wrists with a safety razor. He said he'd kill himself if we ever broke up. Well the little dink is still alive and kicking 34 years later.
@@MothproofKT Thank you so much for your kind words and I'm so sorry that happened to you, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I hope that you are doing much better now. I'm making tiny steps towards peace, hard to do during this time of year when you are heartbroken, but your message warmed my heart. Thank you again.
Thank you for posting this. I'm 38 and am getting out of a five year emotionally abusive relationship. Everything you touched on is so true. It's important to talk about our abuse even if it feels embarrassing. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say I love you and Adam's relationship❤
Wow, I didn't expect to hear my story coming out of your mouth today. I've done therapy, but hearing your story made me realise a few things about my reactions that never occurred to me before. Thank you, Celina.
Beautifully spoken words that we all need to hear, especially those who have gone through similar things and now feel forever broken.❤
THE QUEEN HAS POSTED✨👑✨
I literally just got out of one of those kinda relationships last week after being trapped in it for over a year. Thank you for uploading this video it actually really helped me a lot. He’d always make me feel like I was wrong and that I was the problem and he was so good at manipulating and being narcissistic I fell for it all. He caused my mental health to decline the worst it’s ever been. I was starting to get scared of my own thoughts and I was terrified of him and always extremely cautious of what I say and do. It hurts so bad and I still feel like I’m downing . I’m just glad I finally ended things with him because it made me so sad seeing myself put up with something I don’t deserve to be put through. I treated him like he was my world. And he’d toss me around and pick fights and blame it on me and say I was the problem in return. Celina I really appreciate you for uploading this video. You’re one of my top favorite RUclipsrs I’ve been watching since covid. ❤😢
As a survivor devastated by the amount of support he still has, thank you so so much for making this video
I found my Adam three years ago. I hear the words coming out of your mouth and it sounds like my life. I’m older than you but it sounds just like your recalling my past. I’m learning how to love myself now. I’m very blessed to have “Adam” Chris is his name. When you said what you said about checking his phone I’ve never related to anything so much in my life. Sometimes it feels too good to be true that he only wants to be with me. My past has been so bad that how could I have an amazing future with such an amazing man? But I’m trying and I know God has blessed me. I love you, beautiful girl and I love your videos.
i luved this format, luved the talking 1 on 1 vibes. super serious, super inspirational. i've had my zach too and i've found my adam as well. so eternally grateful
1:52 onwards... geez louise, what an old relationship does to your younger self is so well described here Celina.
I felt that, thank you.
From someone that was abused mentally emotionally physically by my family for 26 years. Still in a volatile situation now today. Thank you for making this
I found my Adam 17 years ago. It took him 8 years of consistently, patiently, gently, tirelessly, and sometimes painstakingly loving me until I realized what I had and how carefully he held my heart. I am precious to him, and he shows me EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
For anyone out ther struggling or worried they'll never find their Adam, hang in there. Hes out there. Thanks for sharing, Celina 💛
This video touched my heart so much. I've been through abuse but found my "Adam" too. It's sad that we go through this, but it's beautiful when we find both our voice and our champion.
I was in a couple of toxic relationships and 1 try to strangle/kill me in front of my 12 y.o. daughter at the time😢 ty for you sharing your experiences. This is a hard time for women in America 💔
You are amazing. Thanks for using your platform this way and holding space for the victims of abuse. I left my abuser of ten years, a little over a year ago and it is still hard to believe I am worthy of an “Adam” sometimes, but I know I deserve love and my time will come. Watching you two together gives me hope. You are amazing Celina. I am so excited to watch you become a mama. ❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you for expressing your experience, it really resonated with me. I’ve gone through similar and thx goodness i was able to heal and learn what true love is, love for myself and love from a kind and gentle man.
"I never knew rough hands could hold me so softly" girl l'm crying. That's so beautiful and reminds me of my boyfriend. I'm so grateful for your channel, you're incredible 🖤🌻
Instant chills with every word you said ! I can relate to all of it ! Thank you for telling your story 💙
I've never heard of Zach Bryan until this video, but every single word you said HIT hard. I gaslit my parents, the pain was comfort, I was 'less than' him, I backed him up every time he f**ked up and I comforted him. I let him hit me, grab me, hold my arms down, yell in my face. I let him control what I wore, what color my hair was, my makeup, who I talked to, the games I played, the words that came out of my mouth, etc.. that was 10 years of me being stomped into the ground by him, and I also found my Adam. I'm still embarrassed, I still feel guilty, like a burden sometimes, etc. but I plan on writing a book to help others. I'm a mental health advocate and I'd scream that from rooftops every day of my life because if I can help even just ONE person see their worth again, it'd all be worth it.
GIRL YOU ARE SO BRAVE FOR TALKING ABOUT THIS!!! really i am so glad you can say this and know how much better your current relationship is compared to before 💗
Fun fact, my dad was in the Navy with Zach. I'm not lying, I swear. My dad has mentioned it on many occasions. They weren't best buddies, but they were friends
That’s so cool!!!
@@Genesis_spammmss ikr! thats crazy and really cool
Your so lucky ❤❤
Hope your dad is a better man than whom you mentioned.
did you dad say what zach was like?
I just got out of an abusive relationship. It was very shortived but because of the extent of my injuries, i know I could be dead the next time. But let me tell you that i fwlt everything, the love bombing, the shame, the embarrassment, the addiction to that love, and walking on eggshells undermining my own feelings and healing to save his.. i am still dealing with the after math but thank you because i really do feel embarrassed and ashamed that i thought i could fix someone because his mental illness 😔 and i felt like i wanna self isolate but this gave me hope to come out of the darkness.
NEVER EVER feel ashamed or embarrassed for what you went through, what you survived! Never! I don't know you but I'm so proud and relieved you made it out safely, it was not your fault, YOU did nothing wrong! Your kind heart saw a damaged soul and you tried to help. There is NOTHING wrong with what you did! Know in yourself that you are a decent and kind person and you deserved so much better! I truly hope you are safe and happier now ❤
I am so glad I pay attention and I have so many attachment issues because of my mother's second husband. I had a realtionship that if it wasn't long distance would have probaly been so much worse. What shocked me into leaving (though it was so so so much more on the back burner of my mind) was when I asked him to stop saying "You have so much potential" it was almost exclsively in refense to my weight (I'm a 5'11 300ish pound woman) I have struggled with my realtionship to food for years and I said that. I explained how it made me feel- Fat, ugly, like he would only love me skinny, ect. We got into a huge fight because he said again after I had asked him twice. I asked can you even empathize with why this is hurting me? He said no so I said I was done. I refused to be with a man who couldn't even empathize with me. That is just one thing out of the dozen of horrible things I can't post on YT. I try to lighten the hurt and the entire situation because I know it could have been so so much worse and it did leave me hurt but I'm mostly healed. But it was a horrible situation and I'm just glad I had enough pre-trauma to recognize the red flags and run.
you words are so powerful, thank you for sharing Celina
Makes me cry and thank you for sharing. I have been in several abusive relationships. They are the knight in shining armor Narcissist and then you realize it's too late. There are many forms of abuse. Thank you for the video and the reminder.
Thank you for sharing such POWERFUL WORDS with us...
All I can say is thankyou. You will never know how much I needed this how much I needed someone else story to get through my own.
Thankyou Celina ❤
We love you Celina! Thank you being unapologetically you! You speaking on this topic is WHY so many people love you. We are so happy that you overcome everything sent to break you. 🥹❤️
My first real relationship was with a man that would emotionally and mentally abuse me. Things never got physical (thankfully) but he was quick to anger, ignored me a lot, embarrassed me publicly, made me cry on numerous occasions, made me feel like I needed him in order to be loved and, while living with him for six months, treated me like a maid. I stayed for a hear and a half. I'm still in therapy and dealing with a lot because of him. I had the courage to leave him in December of 2021. It's been three years since then. We had gotten a dog that I kept and she is my soul dog. I am now with my 'Adam'. It's only been just over a month and yet I already love him so deeply. He gives me the princess treatment, wants to do the things I enjoy, encourages me, truly listens to me, comforts me, wants me to be a part of every aspect of his life and he never makes me feel less than. I still get insecure and go back to how I was before. I get scared he'll leave but he reassures me that he loves me and isn't going anywhere. He's helping me find my peace.
You have described me my situation and how I currently feel about myself and it’s probably the darkest moment of my entire life and I wish I could tell you all about it because I really need a friend right now.. I really really do
Celina im so sorry you had to go through something like this it horrible and im so glad your dad was there to protect you, i dont have a story like this but i fully understand everything and im happy that you have found someone that will love you so much and get you through your lowest times❤️
I was in an abusive relationship for 7 years. Threats on how he would end me and how no one would find me made me never want to leave. I got so skinny I was so stressed I began to develop bad acne. I finally left but not before he dislocated my jaw and got me pregnant. I prayed to god every night that I didn’t want a child with a monster. That I didn’t want my child to be like him. 4 months later I had a miscarriage. I moved away to another state. Went through so much therapy. I am happy to be where I am now. I volunteer at women shelters all the time and congratulate them for finally getting away. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. You help those around us to realize you can leave it may be hard like mine but you can leave. We love you Celina.
I too have dated an unhinged boy named Zach. I lost myself in that relationship so i can sympathize with Brianna too. Just wanna give her a hug.
This is so upsetting to find out. I don't really follow news and I didn't know any of this but I sang a zach Bryan song at my six year old daughters funeral. Something in the orange was our special song we sang together.
I'm 29 (almost 30) and met my "Adam" almost eight years ago. I was in a really bad place due to my emotionally abusive ex and was on the verge of just not being here anymore. Thanks to my current husband and my close friends at the time (all online because the ex made sure I didn't have any irl ones...) I found the strength to finally leave. I got out and I literally cried when I finally did it. I didn't have to deal with him telling me how fat I was getting or how he was the only one who could ever love someone like me because I never did anything right. I started dating Trey (my "Adam") a few months after it all went down and he helped me in so many ways. He pushes me to be better but doesn't bully me or put me down when I fuck up. I'm still suffering from the lack of self-esteem but I'm getting better every day. I can honestly say that my husband saved me back then and I am so grateful that I was able to meet him
I don't know who he is, but up until 2:50 I felt you were describing my last relationship & speaking directly to me. It's been 2 years & I'm still having a hard time. Everything you described is so exact that it's scary.
I'm there with you. This sounds like every relationship I ever had until my current one. Guess I never fully realized I had a shitty taste for partners and kept getting with psychos. She described the feelings so intensely accurate
When you were talking about your high school bf and about the love bombing being a drug i started bawling because now i finally know how to put my last relationship into words. He was socipath. I loved him (still do sadly) and we were so happy then one day he just changed and started getting really mean and ungrateful. I put eveything into our relationship only for him to barely move a pinky. It ended horribly and it was deserved for the things he did physically, emotinally, and mentally to me. I thought he was the one so thats why i always gave it my all to keep going and to get over the obstacles that were our fights and his outbursts because i wanted a future with him so badly because he made me feel loved after i had given up on it. Me and him were an unexpected couple, but we made it far enough to be high school sweethearts, then 5 months after we graduated is when he started to become this guy i didn't know. He truly became a whole different person and i kind of think it was because of his substance issues. Turns out he cheated on me the last month ish too. The day after we broke up he posted a picture of a girl saying "thank you for being the best thing to ever happen to me" which is a bullshit lie. She wasnt the person to help him pass all his classes to graduate. She wasnt the person to inspire him to quit his fast food job to pursue his passion in tattooing. She wasnt there for 4 fucking years. It hurts so much, and i still miss him, i miss the good days where we'd just smile at each other and just not say a word but just bask in each other's company.
Very similar situation here. It wasn’t in high school, but I was 18 when my ex and I met. We had been close friends for a year, he disappeared, turns out his addiction got the best of him and he was forced into a behavioral facility. I was there for him every step of the way. After a year of recovery and mental health work passed, we gave a relationship a try. I attended every GA meeting with him that I could and was invited to. I was supportive and encouraging the whole way. I loved him to smithereens. Turns out, he was cheating on me the entirety of our relationship with some married mom from his office job. This was his “best friend” along with another woman (she didn’t cheat with him, she was a decent person. He introduced us after months into our relationship, she hugged me even. I found out a month after that and left him after 3 years of deep feelings. Called him out. He ended up saying similar things over Twitter about her, sending arrangements and gifts to her at work as he worked somewhere different at that point. Wrote a heartfelt message about how they were soulmates and that he was so happy to have found his “missing piece”. He never did or wrote anything like that for me. Long story short, it may have been his hypomania and she was borderline personality, and because of that I hope he got his shit together welly and truly. I’m still upset, 8 years later, but I’ve accepted what happened and I still care. For my friend, not my cheater :(
@mun3698 you worded it beautifully at the end. "I still care for my friend, not my cheater." I wish my ex would get his addiction and anger problems in order. This break up is still fresh to me so I do miss him a lot. We were in love but like I said, he just changed suddenly. It was scary how easily he changed. I loved his family as well and they accepted me into the family, but now they all hate me because of lies he told them about me, but I wasn't the one forcing his gf to do stuff. It sucks, but it's for the better. I still wish in the future we'll cross paths again and possibly re try a friendship at least because that's all I want is to talk to him and be around the guy I use to know.
I met my "Adam" (his name is Hudson) 5 years ago... I finally am finding myself, my voice, my trust, I don't fear anything that I used to anymore. I know he has my back & I have his.
I have no idea about who the people are, this video is talking about, but the essence resonates with me.
Hello from the Fleurieu Peninsula in South Australia
You are so amazing! I don't pay a lot of attention to what's going on in the entertainment industry and what this situation is, but I hope you tagged her so she could see this. I think your commentary will touch pretty much every person who reads it as most of us have been in at least one shifty relationship that we didn't deserve. I love this post, I hope you never quit being you. You really are a treasure! ❤
Being in a relationship like this, your video had me in sobbing tears. You’re amazing!
You always find the exact words to explain how I've been feeling..
This put me threw such a mental state because my life was just like this with my mom, she was in an abusive relationship with my dad.. she left him and found my stepdad who shows love that she never new she had or needed. Thank you Celina for telling this story because its so connectable, i love you so much.
I honestly didn't know who Zach, Brianna, or Celina were until this came in my RUclips recommended, but I can say that I the strength it took for Brianna and Celina to talk about these things are immeasurable. I have had far too many of my personal "Zach"'s and started dating my personal "Adam" almost two years ago now. The amount of unlearning and learning I have had to do to make my current relationship healthy, both with my partner and with myself, is something no one should ever have to go through, and I am so eternally grateful for the people who share their experiences; it was people who spoke up like this that gave me the courage to leave, even when my life was in danger and I felt like I would be and have no one. I am so proud of both of you for speaking up and I hope all of us who have had to deal with the "Zach"'s of the world get the peace, love, and respect that we deserve. So much love to all of you.
I went through a relationship like that 5 yrs my freshman year to after senior year. Worst relationship ever I’m surprised I’m alive to this day.
My husband saved me and I’ve been so blessed by him. ❤
So well put, thank you for speaking on this. Nobody gets it unless they’ve been through it themself.
I went through an abusive relationship and now am so happy. It's so sad when men and women get abused, I'm sending all the love to everyone! If you need and ear or to vent just say so. LOVE AND HEALING TO EVERYONE!
im crying m so young but needed this thank you much celina
this is such an important conversation to have and these are such important stories to be shared. it really sucks that the internet is being flooded with people romanticizing abuse now more than ever it feels like and people diminishing the voices and experiences of abuse victims, but that is nothing new.
so in summation "why are you talking about this" because you can and actually have something to add to the conversation. so thank you for not only possibly helping even one single person leave a situation like that. but hopefully preventing many from falling into the pitfall that is the high of chasing the "good/perfect" parts of a massively abusive relationship.
I genuinely love Celina so much and I can’t believe that such sweet people or even people at all have to go through this. I am so thankful for people like Adam, comforting someone they love when they need it and showing them what love is supposed to be. I’m so happy they met each other and that Celina is so happy now. I’m so happy for everyone who has been through anything at all and are such happy people now❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Selinaaaa, you send shivers down my spine 😭❤️❤️❤️❤️
Girl, love you
Thanks for covering this, Celina.
It was trapped in a DV situation for 18 years, I got out nearly 8 years ago, I will be on my own forever, I’m too old(52😱) too damaged, I’m still scared of everything, even leaving my house, and too scared and untrusting, luckily, I had my mum, my rock, my best friend, then, a few weeks back, while I was staying with mum for the weekend, I got up one morning and she had died suddenly in her sleep, now I feel like my world had imploded, I’m alone, and I’m back to square one with my mental health, the old demon of self harm is back again after 7 years, but I have to have an outlet for the pain, it’ll pass, but I think I’m broken beyond repair now, I just need to get a pet friendly place so I can surround myself with the pure love of a dog…or three and a ginger cat, because let’s face it, they’re lunatics and a constant source of entertainment.
Celina. I have been living a hell like this for 10 years, physically, emotionally, financially. A couple years ago I had to become a full time SAHM, due to my daughters health condition, after my dad died. Who was my best friend, i ended up taking my kids dad back and after I got us a home that I thought was going to be our forever home. His mask came off, and everything has got worse, and just repeated. I have no access to his money, he doesn't allow me to work outside the home, because he won't come home and be a father so i can do so. So I have to find work under the table, where she can come with me, just so I can make sure she has what she needs. I'm trying to leave, but idk what to do. I have no money, Homeschool her. No one to help, and no where to go, so I know exactly what you mean, with everything you just spoke about and I thank you for it... I love you
amen girl. it took me over 17 years to finally end it. im ashamed and proud. i totally lost myself back then and it hurts to think about now. we are warriors and we are worth it. nothing but love xo
I felt this sooooo much!! My Adam is named Josh, we've been together now 19 yrs ❤ I didn't know a man could be so loving until Josh!! Thank you for sharing!!
This was a very needed video. I never knew you went through things like that yourself. I went through 11 years of my own "Zach" and I was young when it all happened, but I finally found my own Adam, and yes his name is actually Adam too.❤ I could never want a love better than him now because I love myself again too 🥹
You’re such a genuine person ❤️ thank you for sharing your story. I hope one day I find a person as supportive as you are
What you said about dating a sociopath really struck with me. I was in a relationship with a narcissistic sociopath who did all the things you said and more. I was in this relationship for 5 years. It wasn't until a coworker saw him abuse me and called it out with me. I honestly don't know what would have happened if they had not stepped in. It has been 10 years and I am still figuring out who I am, and I still do not trust anyone. I pray that I find someone like Adam to help me reignite my trust and love. Thank you for sharing this message.
I love the why you really share your feelings and expirences when you tell other peoples story... thank you for sharing ❤
The *cough* "lego man" got me lmaoooo. But, this is so well said Celina, thank you for sharing your story as well!
Such a beautiful video, literally crying. Ily💕
The scariest thing about listening to Celina talk about this is I lived all of those things too… way too many of us have. It’s so hard to find the strength to leave but it’s the best thing you can do for yourself.
Aw you made me cry. You're special in this world. This was eyeopening to me.
"I never knew rough hands could hold me so softly" Is such a beautiful saying. I've never felt loved like Celina does by Adam, only the former she talks of. We all will find that person who is right for us. You have to crack a few dud rocks before you find a geode.