The Key to Happiness Within Yourself
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 19 май 2024
- Cope with your BPD symptoms using my BPD Card Deck: The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder. Available at: www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
shorturl.at/bxB05
In this video, we're going to discuss the idea that changing environment can change who you are. We'll explore the idea through different examples, and discuss how personal empowerment is key to remaining true to yourself despite changes.
00:00 Introduction
00:38 Unhappy so change your life
01:07 Substance abuse and changing your environment
02:10 Unhappy with yourself
02:29 Questions to ask yourself
03:30 Focus on yourself for change
03:55 Your issues travel with you
04:28 Working on yourself
No matter where you go, there you are! When you feel like you’re going nowhere, just remember you are now, here. I find trying to be present in the moment is very beneficial...🙏🏼
I was just gonna use that quote. I've moved to escape abuse, bad decisions, poor self preservation....guess what? Sun shine and rainbows for a minute but then...ssdd.
That's how I figured out, I was the problem- the men were just a vehicle for self distruction
@@cbeshorern bless you! I am also in recovery from a seriously narcissistically abusive relationship. Try not to think of yourself as being “the problem”...I couldn’t possibly know what you’ve been through but I do know that negative self talk is further damaging to your already fragile self. You have a right to be here, no less than the trees and the stars ✨ just learn to love yourself, be kind to yourself, the rest will follow 🙏🏼💕
I am multi cultural. When I am in my father’s culture, where I was born and raised I fell and I am different. My life is vastly different. And, I do feel more relaxed and free in that, so called third world. I am here because I lost most everything after Irma and Maria hurricanes. I guess what I miss is the social and human interaction. And, I am in the south!
Four years in a little condo I bought and my neighbors just recently told me her name and exchanges a few words from time to time.
Cultural difference can make a world of difference!
Yeah there's very little sense of community in most places in America now. It's completely different from how it was when I was a kid.
When I left texas I was a totally different person for the better, I was happy and free living and loving for me.
Mike Brady said, "wherever you go, there you are."
This subject Is actually a very difficult and confusing dilemma I'm dealing with currently:
I'm 32 years old male and living with my Mom (who I suspect is a narcissist but also alone and in her 70's),I have been receiving disability benefits for a year now while working about a 25% of a normal workload job.
I'm feeling like I have to change my life but don't even know where to start and I know that staying home is setting me back because I don't have this feeling of "fight for my life" or that I "have to do it or else" I'm stuck in a very long period of rot i guess.
Lost all my close friends during the years due also to depression and anxiety and being mostly stuck in the same place for years while others moved along with their lives.
It's like my inner-compass has been broken for years and I don't even know for sure what I want to do anymore...
The problem is if I'll move alone i'll feel very isolated but it's also very hard for me to think about moving in with flatmates because of social anxiety.
It's like life is closing in on me and telling me "screw your life in particular", no matter what i want to do there is a much greater fear or a problem on the other side that stops me from doing anything other than procrastinate in huge fear that I'm wasting my life and that ill regret not doing enough in this time while simultaneously just can't get myself to do stuff no matter how much I suffer and torment inside.
Many times I feel that i don't want to exist but never done any physical self harm(only thoughts), life is hard mentally and I feel like a kid in a grown-ups world and I just can't compete and lose in every aspect: lack of friends, not being independent, not having romantic relationships, not having a normal and stable job or even a prospect of it, no degree or a profession, being stressed and with very low mood for years and years now.
Your books have helped me much, but its a very very very long journey for me to even try to be an active part of community and I struggle a lot.
I really appreciate your videos and hope to learn more and improve my life while going through these tough years of growing up and hopefully become more resilient and pro-active.
I know this sounds weird....FORCE yourself to volunteer somewhere. Even with physical or mental disabilities, going to meals on wheels or a food pantry even once a week gives you a sense of purpose.
It seems counter intuitive. How can helping someone help me, I don't have anything to give? You will be surprised! Selfishly- It makes you look super sexy volunteering.
You meet new people, gets ya outta the house. Emotionally- it gives you a sense of worth and community! It also helps us be grateful for what we have. It also puts out positive karma. Meals on wheels, senior center, food bank, churches etc need help and often times the only time some elderly/disabled folks ever get a visitor.
I've found in my life that empathy for others grows the more I give. If I don't, I get swallowed up in my own head with nothing but clouds and negativity.
I understand this feeling completely. Every time I had an "episode" I would go crazy trying to think of where I could move to, and really convinced myself that I needed a new start and everything would be ok. I was fortunate enough to do therapy last year and work towards healing. I took a break from therapy just recently (you gotta take off the training wheels at some point) and now do Dr. Fox's workbooks and DBT books. I also practice meditation. I never take a break from taking care of my mental health; it is an every day effort. Because of this, I live more presently and these thoughts come and go but it doesn't consume me. I accept it and let it go when my mind is ready to do so. I am so thankful for Dr. Fox for sharing his invaluable knowledge with us.
What if the culture is toxic (rampant narcissism)?
most important think in live is always to work on yourself
Wherever I go, there I am. Thanks Dr. Fox. I still want a totally new life though.
Sending you love and very best wishes for 2024 from Yorkshire, England, Dr Fox.
Thanks ever so much for this video, it makes so much sense. I'm aware that I suffer from the 'grass is always greener' syndrome. Whenever I 'get to where I want to be going', I inevitably start to long for 'something better' after a while. It's taken years for me to realise that the craving feeling comes from within, and has little to do with 'out there'.
Healthy challenges are the way forward!
PS And thanks for letting us know that you're a New Yorker. I've always wondered why you didn't have that 'Southfork Ranch' type twang. 🙂
This is an interesting video topic. Today, I happened to meet someone from Alaska and I immediately became curious and asked her some questions about living there. I couldn't help wondering if my life would be better in Alaska.
I lived in 4 different European countries before moving back to my own country. Those were the best years of my life… My life’s been stuck for some years now. And in my case, I have a feeling that life would be a lot different if I moved to the Southern Europe again… I’m aware that it doesn’t change me. But it changes how people react on me and also how I behave in another culture. Because that’s how it is, it’s much easier to be like everyone else in that culture.
It’s certainly true for most people. Commonly people grow apart from social circles and see that isolation as a problem in other people. Even if that’s the case, the mere perspective of having to build a new social network demands a lot of hard work and predisposition…
Omg that's me 100% just trying to blame place/ country and thinking that's my main issue which is not! Thank you for this video❤
You're very welcome. I'm glad the video was helpful. Be well.
I feel this so much. I just said I want to move.. I am hoping it will subside some of the pain.
I thing working on yourself and moving are two totally different issues. If you are both working on yourself and moving you probably can’t say how it will (or won’t) benefit you until you’ve done it. I think you can do your best to weigh up the pros and cons of changing your environment but sometimes you don’t realise the effect your current location is having on your mood until you leave. The association is complex.
Definitely not for me. Tried several times and still end up being me, unfortunately.
nice, gracias
Wherever you go, there you are 😏
Fair to say the same holds true: going from one (location) relationship to another in hopes of a different outcome?
Thank u Dr. Fox!
Isn't that what Robert Sapolsky is talking about in his new book, which addresses his belief that free will doesn't exist?
One of the best thing I did was move away. For multiple reason.
1) I moved to an area with better air quality, and the mountain of anxiety I woke up with everyday disappeared within a week
2) The area I moved to does not promote a victim culture. I lived in Atlanta where everything is everyone else's fault and holding yourself accountable is like talking about breathing under water. When I moved to Florida it was easier to take accountability for my own actions because there is a culture that reinforces responsibility here.
3) I was able to identify the specific behaviors I participated in that contributed to the negativity in my life. Before I moved, I was surrounded by so toxicity that it was impossible to identify mine. It was like trying to find a needle in a stack of needles.
Obviously, moving did not fix all my problems, and there were other factors that contributed to my improvement. But moving was a HUGE part in overcoming issues that I had struggled with for years. For example, I struggled with very heavy drinking for 5 years and could not quit no matter how hard I tried. Yet after I moved my drinking decreased significantly and after a year I quit drinking all together.
Currently 598 days sober and I dont miss it.
If anything, the most common fallacy among screwball conservative Texans is that individuals have libertarian free will and that an individual's problems have nothing to do with their environment. 😂