Also uttered by an unknown, 62 year old kiwi while swimming in the middle of the ocean, untangling wire from the a boat's propeller as there was an 800lb Tiger Shark on the other end; "Warm like a bath tub in here fellas, but the toy boat and shark are a bit bigger than I'm used to"
I don't believe half of this shit in this story. German guards & soldiers shot your fuckin ass if you tried to escape them. There's GRAVEYARDS of evidence of this. They didn't care one way or another if you lived but this guy tried to escape a million times? Spat in German Officer's faces? Fuck outta here. It's an insult to the actual dead.
@@chriswalken6129 don't know what that has to do about anything, but likely not. A creator talking about current situation, especially one like the Count, is an instant demonetisation
@@chriswalken6129 considering that he had almost gone to prison and was fined £800 for making a joke, any thoughts he'd make would be taken out of context, treated like it was Nazi gospel and used to take him down by nutjobs who paint him as things he isn't... It would be best he didn't bother talking about it for his and his familys safety.
My father was a NZ POW. He witnessed Charlie's episode in the barbed wire. I remember him telling me about it as a child, and being stunned later to find out just how famous an exploit it was.
My great Uncle Arthur was a POW too, I'm from Christchurch as well. But he never talked about it apparently he has a diary but I have never read it my Dad told me it's quite harrowing. Likely your father knew my great uncle, probably.
@@Aaron19987 that thin membrane isn't going to do shit for this man's balls. Like jeez. If his balls were fired out of a canon, it could nuke an entire country twice.
@@Godzillafan1980, this is a magestic, stud, stallion of a man, with 1 ton balls of titanium. He will be addressed as such. He's earned at least that much.
There is another version of this ...it's said the Italians were unarmed, had surrendered, but the truck they were in had broken down, Upham (?) showed them how to fix it and left them there, they repaired the truck and followed him into captivity.
I met a 75 year old Italian man in Venezuela in 1985 (while working on a reinforced concrete base for turbo-generator installation). He owned a concrete factory in the small town and was our supplier. The day we poured the 128 cubic meters we all went for a drink on our company's expense. After a few drinks he asked me where I was from when I told him Scotland he laughed and told me he spent 5 year in jail in Glasgow during the war. He then went on to tell me it was probably the happiest time in his life. When asked what his profession was back in Italy, he told them "butcher" ( He was not a butcher) because he knew they were assigning work to all the Italian POW's. They let him go on leave during the weekends as long as he was back at work Monday morning sharp. He told me he was captured in Libya in the desert at the begging of the war, and that his whole platoon surrendered to the British as they had no intensions of fighting for the Germans. He said he got to keep the best bits of meat for his girlfriend and her family, they all loved him!
@@theuzzlepuzzle2656 and that one American soldier who got his fucking arm taken off and got malaria but still survived and fought till the end of the war
That shot of him all tangled up posted chilling should be one of those inspirational posters. Courage “When you tell your enemy his rank is not high enough to shoot you”
If he would've been around 3k years ago, he would've invented the machine gun, given it to his enemies so they couldn't hear the sound of his meaty clackers slapping off their wives, so when he got bored and wanted a fight they would still have some will. Chad's call themselves Chad because after this dude and Norris, the name Chuck is too Chad for them.
He avoided being gravely wounded because the gravitational pull of his massive nuts kept yanking the bullets off trajectory and sending them back towards the Germans.
Imagine firing a round at him and getting it whipped through your forehead at a sizable fraction of lightspeed because of a man's gravitationally collapsed mass of sheer unrepentant testicular fortitude and his indifference to whatever you could possibly do to him and more... What a fuckin fate that would be getting wrecked so unfathomably hard. Or if he teabagged you afterwards lol just a miniature active galactic nucleus turning everything it touches into testosterone and indifference. I think I just created a viable/believable deity, one that would certainly be worthy of worship if it took the form of this man especially haha
Italian soldier 1: "what an accent! Did you understand anything?" Italian soldier 2: "bah, all these foreign languages... It's all german to me. Now get here and push!"
I'm german and thus heard 'em all but this is to this day my favourite quote of any of the nazi war criminals. I love when people despite all realistic odds are being so full of themselves they don't realise they're fu*ked already xD
These are the people we should be taught about in school. He was still alive when I left school but being an Aussie I would have liked to have known about this Kiwi legend.
I'm in the US, and I 100% wish he had been taught about in history, too. He's completely worthy of it. My history lessons involved going over the terrible things in US and World history, but I feel like instead teaching about people like Upham would be not only vastly more engaging, but would do a great job of teaching positive qualities to try and live up to.
"I refuse to be shot by a corporal, come back with an officer" Fuck me that's a damn good line. There's fuck all that corporal could do to come out of that situation with pride intact.
@@Noperare Exactly! In like 80% of mad lads I have to stop and like put this shit in context. Because it's easy to forget that these are just people, not characters.
By the way: Cretans still remember the New Zealanders who gave their lives for their land. Anyone from New Zealand reading this, you are most welcome to visit.
Thank you, friend, and I can attest to this. I have family who visited Crete a few years ago and they came home telling stories of how warmly locals treated them, especially after discovering they were from NZ.
Ahh yes, Crete, the place where I got a sunburn on my shoulders (through a shirt and pullover) which I could still see a year later. Awesome place ... at least it was in the 80s, no idea how it got downgraded alongside the rest of the country due to the EU mishandling them.
crete was a bastard of a ww2 fight, recommend anyone to look up mark feltons videos on it. little ammo, locals ambushed axis paratroopers, waiting with pitchforks. the paratroopers also were less equipped than regular troops, often using just pistols. a bayonete charge was a key moment.
@@tedcrilly46 The Krauts weren’t exactly badly equipped, it’s that their weighty fighting tackle would get dropped in a separate canister, and the German ‘chute design originally only had one attachment point to the body, so their paratroopers could forget about steering themselves. They therefore often landed far from their gear, which if it plonked down closer to the enemy than you did, meant you had to fight solely with what you had on your person. Crete thus led directly to the development of the FG-42; a stupidly accurate machine gun which weighed as little as the standard issue German combat rifle and could be attached to the body during descent. Parachuted-in kit landing too far from reach, within enemy firing range, also played a pretty wretched role in Operation Market Garden.
10,000 Pounds in 1945 is close to 1,000,000 New Zealand Dollars in today's money, which means that in 2023, Upham could've bought himself a 1 Bedroom Apartment in Auckland.
@@EyePatchGuy88 Come on man, I'll have you know I've driven straight through both those towns. I hear they are very nice places for a service station pie and a pee. 😄
You know I really think Achilles was as much of a chad as this man. You know, they had to invent a whole gimmick about Achilles' body being impenetrable except for one of his heels. If he was real then he must have been as much of a chad as the Kiwi over there
Coincidentally HMNZS ( HMS ) Achilles was a cruiser sold to NZ in 1936 to patrol the South Pacific, it took part in the first naval battle and victory of WW2 for the British when it, Ajax, and Exeter sunk the Admiral Graf Spee in the battle of the river plate.
This dude really self-fragged himself, burnt all his +1's in one campaign, briefly commanded the enemy team, then hit a guard with a "You're not a high enough level to perform this action". And then had the balls to try and hope everyone would just forget about it after the war. Quality Kiwi bloke that. Christs college represent.
Christ's? syrupsuckers &soggy biscuits? throwing things and abusing the court theatre, riiiight they really represent themselves well. Upham would be phucking furious at the bullshit comming out of that incestuous hole. Ever hear The phrase "what school did you go to?" ... Wrong answer mean you aren't in their special little club. Abnormally High percentage of entitled connected elitist asshats... Like half my family. He's one rare person to come out of that so called institution as a gc.
This man along with Sir Keith Park have always been heroes of mine because of his bravery and most of all his humble nature. Even after he received his two VCs he was a humble man. Truly a legend among men.
One thing Dankula didn't mention is that on the MG nest run, he picked up an onion sack and just filled it with grenades, luger in one hand. The only man he took with him was the largest man in his squad to cover him with a Bren gun and all the ammo he could carry. Its in his book Mark of the Lion. What a beast.
The SAS also had success with convincing Italian soldiers to follow their orders. I guess they all assumed an angry man in khaki shorts telling them what to do knew something that they didn't about the situation.
Yeah, the Italians were just as likely to hate the Germans - to the point of providing assistance to the allied forces at times. Very independent-minded souls - and that's how I like to live my life. Crap soldiers though.
There are stories of Italian families helping out American soldiers due to the fact that many of the American soldiers had relatives in Italy. Also, the italians hated Mussolini with a passion.
I remember as a 10 year old him sitting down with me at my Grandads funeral telling me a story of how my grandfather snuck behind enemy lines and shot a horse to feed everyone when they were cut off from supplies.... Charles Upham was just a humble man
Charles's uncle was a well known doctor in Christchurch when he was a child, and he used to visit a leper colony on an island just off the coast. Even when he was a kid he was fearless. The Greatest New Zealander ever.
Good thing you said "literally". I 'd hate for anyone to think you were speaking rhetorically. Or hyperbolically. Or ironically. Thank you for making that distinction.
What do you even do in that situation?! You’ve just been disrespected by a prisoner who literally tells you “Go get your dad” while he’s lying in barbed wire and smoking a cig! Tbh I think I wouldn’t even talk back, I’d just walk away.
my grandad Albert served with him and they were good friends, my nana has a few photos of my grandad and Charles together. so cool to see a video done on him in this style.
Recently deceased, a friend of mine’s father was the chap in charge, at the MoD, of looking after events arranged on behalf of surviving V.C. recipients -when those few guys got together, across all ages, the level of booze consumed and subsequent riotous conduct was the subject of breathtaking notoriety. And considering just how inevitably numerous the absent comrades must be, of someone who gets a Victoria Cross, whom they feel obliged to toast and vicariously drink for, having themselves survived, you can more than understand it.
I would theorize that the Italians helped him simply because he asked. He didn’t come to them as an enemy, no one needed to die that day. He simply asked for help as a man, and was given help. No harm no foul.
I second your hypothesis. Of all the listening to and reading of vets I've done, the one thing that stuck out to me over and over was how difficult most people find it to be to kill someone else or even get aggressive with a stranger. Most people will only shoot if they are shot at, and even then, not necessarily. The primary reaction to being shot at isn't going into some tactical mode, but usually just disbelief that someone you've never met would try to take your life. Soldiers tend to view themselves as at war with, after enough time, not their enemy soldiers, but the human condition itself, and the enemy is just as much a victim of said condition as they are - which can lead to some interesting sympathies developing
I agree, Upham would have no reason to treat the Italians as lesser persons and the Italians responded in kind. The Italians cop a lot for WWII but really they fought well when they needed to fight and were smart when they should have been. There is a story of two lost NZ soldiers coming across 4000 Italian soldiers, the Italians surrendered to the lost Kiwis and showed them back to the lines. The Italians could have killed the Kiwi's but showed bravery and surrendered. That takes huge balls to do that, the easy path is to continue fighting and die for something that doesn't make sense (some socialist political ideology).
I've had the honour to pay my respects at his gravestone in Papanui, he's a legend and I'll never forget him and other heroes like the Rats of Tobruk and the 28th Maori Battalion
There’s so many madlads throughout history, this is why Dankula is so awesome and exciting, we never know what we’re gonna get and it never disappoints, thank you for educating us Uncle Dank🤟🏼
@@mr.powell8817 oh I see. I was referencing a video game called Age of Empires where a dude uses a spell (says wololoo) to capture enemy soldiers. That might be a Dundee reference in the game then
Please do Canadian soldier Léo Major. If there was ever a definition of a madlad durring WW2 it was this man. Single handedly taking on a German armed half track. Single handedly taking on a SS unit. Taking a grenade to the face, taking out his eye, but staying in service because it makes me look like a pirate, legitimately what he said. Singlehandedly took back a German controlled town, because it was rainy and cold and he blamed it on the Germans and decided "fuck stealth missions, I'm just gonna get this done". Among other ridiculous things he managed to do, while he was supposed to be a recon/sniper
@@seafoam6119 I had to learn about him by chance, man had a badass nickname "one eyed ghost" and a street named after him yet my school never mentioned him
A true hero indeed. A man that did extraordinary things in war but did not expect to be rewarded for it in any way. When he was, he instead helped others. As far away from a modern politician as you can get. RIP Upham.
I'm in the New Zealand Cadet Corps, and in our unit we have a platoon named after Captain Upham. I didn't know anything about him until you made this video. I am damn proud to be a kiwi.
@@stuffbuddy4304 im just winding you up fella. Old unit rivalry between 4th otago south & 2cants. His nedals are on display at the army museum waiouru if you get the chance. Still odd they would'nt mention anything about our greatest war hero, times change i guess.
@@JohnSmith-mk8bf You're one sly dog buddy. You know, I think I might just join the next skills team so I can pound yous into the ground. And how are the units across the country numbered? I've never anyone refer to us as the 2nd, not to mention anyone else and their numbers. Anyways have a good one, you got me there.
@@stuffbuddy4304 haha glad you got it! Lol, duno much about the cadet units to be honest. But your parent units nickname was 2cnuts, when i was around. Being out of it 10yrs or so, moved to aus. Missed out on our 10yr deployment reunion due to the coof. The names & numbers go back to a couple years after ww2 when everyone was back & the numbers wern't there anymore. Otago was the 4th rifle regiment & Dunis the main centre so got the name & based there but it covers invers through to queenstown. 2cants same sorta thing, smaller units rolled up into one force, nelson to west coast as fair south as timaru. Before then basicaly everywhere in nz had it's own rifle company or regiment, westcoat, nelson, timaru all had there own little units as example and they go back to late 1800s early 1900s. Wasn't all just infantry though, Dunis used to have artillery at the hall till early 1980s for example. Theres probably stuff online, thats what i roughly know/remember lol. The rumour as i was leaving was they were gona merge 4th otago & 2cants together, but anyway. It's a good thing your doing, hope you stick with it & get something out of it.
This is beyond words. That picture is just fucking insane. It seems that he earned respect, even perhaps forced it out of even his enemies in war despite their best efforts otherwise. I imagine along with his top tier trash talk he also inspired German soldiers through how he took care of others and gave respect to those he felt deserved it. There were likely a few badass German guys who exercised humility as well and admired seeing how Upham carried himself despite being an absolute legendary badass.
Master Sargent Roy Benavides the man who went into combat with a only a machete and almost singlehandedly saved a squad while getting shot like 12 times and stabed 3or4
Charged an NVA battalion (1000 men) with only a knife, a little over a year after he stepped on a landmine and was told he would never walk again. Ended up with 37 different bullet, bayonet, and shrapnel wounds, was examined twice and believed to be dead both times until he spit in the face of the doctor that was zipping him into a body bag.
It’s become a popular belief online these days… That he was just high off his ass like usual… And snuck away with an entire cake. But the true story is much more touching and meaningful. It was actually a photoshoot for his record… And you can find the rest of the story online. And I think there’s a video or two of him telling the story in an interview
Johnny Cash on the cake story: “On a hot summer afternoon in New York City, June and I walked through the zoo in Central Park. It was a hot dog and ice cream day. The place was crowed and giving up on the Hassle of working our way through the crowd, we headed back to the hotel to get ready for the concert that night at the Garden State Art Center. As we approached the hotel, I saw a bum lying on the sidewalk in front of the hotel. He never even opened his eyes when I stood over him, June said, “Come On Honey” But I said “just a minute” I walked around him, hoping he wasn’t dead. My shadow fell across him and when I moved on, I saw his eyes flutter as the bright sunlight hit his face. He didn’t open his eyes, but I knew he wasn’t dead. “What are you doing?” June asked “I’m thinking about my friend here, “I said” “that could be me, you know” June came over closer and smiled at me. “That was you a couple of times.” Then she said again, “Come on lets go” The rest of the story is in the song. I became that man. I put myself in his place and my mind, he finally won. I wish I knew who he is, and where he is. I’d send him a piece of Strawberry Cake.”
Movie critic reviewing Predator: "This movie is over the top to a point beyond parody. An insult to real servicemen and women. One liners and macho meat heads taking on entire armies. Unreal trash in a long line of 80s shlog that plagued a generation." Ghost of Charles Hazlitt Upham: "I liked it."
I know this is a joke, but the whole point of predator was subverting those action movie tropes, by having the macho men getting curb stomped by an alien
Little known fact: The screenwriter of Predator had a nannie who was German. She told him the horror stories of her father. A tale of The Devil Himself. ;)
This chad broke the Germans' minds because they couldn't fathom people not following orders. Also he is Samwise Gamgee. Wanted to marry his sweetheart and live in Hobbiton.
The reason why those two Italian soldiers helped him might be a very simple one, the battles in Egypt and especially El Alamein were really overwhelming for the Italian forces, as the allies had twice the amount of troops, 5 times the tanks, and 10 times the airplanes, while Germans barely even sent troops in support of Italy, and during the final fights a lot of Italians were straight up abandoned by Germans after being told to retreat, a lot of Italians deciding to stay and keep fighting despite having no ammo, grenades or support against multiple tanks. Among both right and left in Italy these battle are reason of national pride due to the martyrdom of the soldiers involved and it even inspired a movie named after it. So when an allied officer asked Italians to help him out, they probably did so either because they wanted to get back at the fleeing Germans, were abandoned behind enemy lines and saw no point in continuing fighting, or simply did what Italians like to do and were just friendly even toward an enemy.
The whole reason the German Afrika Corp was there was to help the Italians. The Italians had been soundly beaten by the Anzacs and British in Libya in 1940. Although Italy at this stage had been on a war footing for five years, fighting various poorly armed colonial enemies, the Italian army was clearly not ready to fight a modern war, technical skills and experianced leaders in the Army was lacking and the ability of the the officer corp was inadequate. Manpower was plentiful but equipment was not It was a series of serious defeats and huge amount of ground taken by the allies that made A H send the Afrika Corp to save his buddy Mussolinis arse in N Africa. The Exact same thing had occurred in Greece, Mussolini wanted some glory, invaded Greece and his army wasnt up to the task, so Germany got involved, leading to the battle of Crete.
So my great uncle was at El Alamein and told stories about hearing his friends talk about a soldier who was essentially unkillable. Fortunately my uncle never had to face off against him, or he’d be dead
If someone did something similar to this guy 900 years ago they would’ve written an epic of his exploits adding in some magic or blessing and we would completely discredit the historicity of the protagonist.
@@pierluigiadreani2026 This is actually a common myth. While the ancients lacked the means to disinfect wounds, they were very good at cleaning them. There are plenty of exmaples from history of warriors who were wounded and went on to live long lives.
How the hell can a person as badass as this exist? This is the kind of man who will be remembered forever in legend alongside figures such as Achilles and Heracles.
Coincidentally Achilles was a NZ cruiser that took part in the first sea battle and British victory of WW2, the battle of the river plate, in which the German pocket battleship KMS Graf Spee was sunk at Montevideo ...
@@harrycurrie9664 Another little known fact is that after the war, the HMNZS Achilles was sold to the Indian navy (Renamed INS New Delhi) and starred as herself in the movie "Battle of the River Plate" about the very battle she took part in.
Yeah there was a TV special about him and when the host asked if there are any in audience that he saved to stand up, it was like 90% of them who did which shocked him and he started to cry
As a Kiwi, I thought I knew a lot about Charles Upham. You have brought some more to this story by way of his (quotes) indifference in the face of the enemy. Your presentation of his story was not what I expected, in saying that it was perfect in portraying of his deeds on the battlefield, as a POW and finally in peace time. I enjoyed watching this piece so much, I watched again and decided to comment. I have read his book “Mark of the Lion” and I recommend it to everyone. Two instances not mentioned in this video, firstly in North Africa when receiving his first VC from General Claude Auchinleck , he forgot to salute and about-turned to rejoin the ranks, half way back he remembered he then turned back saluted the General then resumed his place in the ranks. Secondly, a person drove onto his Canterbury farm in a VW, he warned the person off with a shotgun. I can understand the amount of ‘thumbs down’ on this story, but as I’m Kiwi it makes me proud to see this story told again. Well done👍
Confirmation bias. Upham knew of boys just like him, hundreds, probably thousands of officers like him. Sticking it to Germany as POWs as were their standing orders. He survived. They didn’t.
@@dionmcneill8722 Reminds me of Léo Major, while doing crazy stuff in ww2. Also ordered artillery closer in the korean war, when the artillery platoon could hear the rounds whistling and detonating from Leo's radio.
He didn’t wanna take credit for war heroics? I can’t even share a friends meme without being accused of stolen valor. “That’s my meme! Gimme my credit!”
Go to buyraycon.com/dankula 15% off your order! Brought to you by Raycon.
irs not raid, but its aight
You're the man! Never stop doing what you do.
When you going do Aron Ralston?
Adrian Carton de Wiart. This man DEFINES the term mad lad.
Raycon
He's rolling in his grave right now, receiving all of this love and praise.
Its like were pissing all over his achievements in life by giving him epic praise. What ah legend.
Made your comment's likes go into triple digits
He definitely replayed life for the platinum trophy
That’s a good name
I approve
@@DanielSan1776
Well thank you, same to you friend.
"I refuse to be shot by a corporal"
Yeah, MadLad.
Probably the least known, but most baddass phrases ever uttered in history. Definitely beats "Come and take them."
Also uttered by an unknown, 62 year old kiwi while swimming in the middle of the ocean, untangling wire from the a boat's propeller as there was an 800lb Tiger Shark on the other end;
"Warm like a bath tub in here fellas, but the toy boat and shark are a bit bigger than I'm used to"
This dude is the protoChad. The Dad Chad. Vlad.
@@burpostockings CHAD, THE IMPALER
@Get Fucked that's a weak quote
This angered Uday, who flew into a rage
😂😂
Love ur profile picture
@@tsarr23
Thank you Tsar, very cool!
As an Iraqi from Baghdad, I approve of this comment.
@@thundercock3808 ayy
"Listen, Herr Upham, you can't jump off zis train if it's going at high spee-"
"Hans, he already jumped."
"Shiesse."
@HoloUlf -Lyaso- scheiße*
@Talorc MacAllan yet new generations have no clue
Scheiße Mich Sturmgewehr
best comment lmao
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm dying.
He ain't a Mad Lad, he's a Mad Chad.
This needs to be a sub-series lmao
Technically in the virgin-Chad hierarchy lad is higher than Chad lol
This dude sounds like he's won at life in a previous life and just started farming achievements in the next life
Sounds like he is refusing the achievements. I'm guessing he has gotten them all already and is just looking for the easter eggs.
when you transfer over your max level character to a new save.
I don't believe half of this shit in this story.
German guards & soldiers shot your fuckin ass if you tried to escape them. There's GRAVEYARDS of evidence of this. They didn't care one way or another if you lived but this guy tried to escape a million times?
Spat in German Officer's faces?
Fuck outta here. It's an insult to the actual dead.
@@ClickClack_Bam Im pretty sure there is actual evidence of most of this stuff. And that picture doesn't lie.
He prestiged.
This dude is the main character, he has literal plot armor.
Can you imagine if someone killed his dog?
CAnt dankula talk about covid ?
@@chriswalken6129 don't know what that has to do about anything, but likely not. A creator talking about current situation, especially one like the Count, is an instant demonetisation
@@mikep6726 i take your point - just curious to know his thoughts - other creators do it , while choosing words carefully
@@chriswalken6129 considering that he had almost gone to prison and was fined £800 for making a joke, any thoughts he'd make would be taken out of context, treated like it was Nazi gospel and used to take him down by nutjobs who paint him as things he isn't... It would be best he didn't bother talking about it for his and his familys safety.
My father was a NZ POW. He witnessed Charlie's episode in the barbed wire. I remember him telling me about it as a child, and being stunned later to find out just how famous an exploit it was.
this comment should have more likes
My great Uncle Arthur was a POW too, I'm from Christchurch as well. But he never talked about it apparently he has a diary but I have never read it my Dad told me it's quite harrowing.
Likely your father knew my great uncle, probably.
That Man's balls must have been individually sacked to prevent sparks when he walked.
Balls are actually separated into two separate ‘compartments’ by the perineal raphe
@@Aaron19987 that thin membrane isn't going to do shit for this man's balls. Like jeez. If his balls were fired out of a canon, it could nuke an entire country twice.
😆
@@Aaron19987this I know, I meant separate, and individual scroti. Ass hat
He was banned from walking around flammable/explosive materials, just in case.
"get out of the fence or I'll shoot"
"Lol fucking doubt it m8"
Private property shouldnt exist
@@lakeblackBLM TF does this have to do with this comment
@@lakeblackBLM your view on socialism is a distorted truth, and you a believe a lie.
@@lakeblackBLM You first.
Go on, give us yer shit then.
@@lakeblackBLM If you weren't too lazy and/or stupid to earn your own you wouldn't feel that way.
God damn homie really went “I refuse to get shot by a corporal go get an officer” like Jesus Christ
I had to comE to the comments after that. FUCKING LEGEND
Translated in more modern terms: "Get out of here, scrub. Go get someone bigger." Probably said with the smuggest smile you've ever seen. Lol
Mad lad JESUS Christ LOL he was a PSYCHO
Mad Jack tier stuff
@@Godzillafan1980, this is a magestic, stud, stallion of a man, with 1 ton balls of titanium. He will be addressed as such. He's earned at least that much.
No matter your political opinions, we all can agree Mad lads is some of the best content on youtube.
definatly up there, mad lads is the story time i wish i had when i was a kid
The Count is a natural story teller. The guys got a gift
No commies
@@strongbear3369 or english
@@cucumber623 murica
"we have no idea why they helped him"
What would you do if you suddenly started to hear boss music
Ask an officer for his pistol and shoot myself with it
They helped him cause when you are a soldier and a man in uniform barks commands and expects you to obey, you do what you're told.
There is another version of this ...it's said the Italians were unarmed, had surrendered, but the truck they were in had broken down, Upham (?) showed them how to fix it and left them there, they repaired the truck and followed him into captivity.
I met a 75 year old Italian man in Venezuela in 1985 (while working on a reinforced concrete base for turbo-generator installation). He owned a concrete factory in the small town and was our supplier. The day we poured the 128 cubic meters we all went for a drink on our company's expense. After a few drinks he asked me where I was from when I told him Scotland he laughed and told me he spent 5 year in jail in Glasgow during the war. He then went on to tell me it was probably the happiest time in his life. When asked what his profession was back in Italy, he told them "butcher" ( He was not a butcher) because he knew they were assigning work to all the Italian POW's. They let him go on leave during the weekends as long as he was back at work Monday morning sharp. He told me he was captured in Libya in the desert at the begging of the war, and that his whole platoon surrendered to the British as they had no intensions of fighting for the Germans. He said he got to keep the best bits of meat for his girlfriend and her family, they all loved him!
@@robertjohnston8690 Good for him, didn't want to help the facists, so he didn't.
You know someone's a badass when their enemies give them awards as a way to humiliate them.
i was not prepared for that picture of him in the wire
thank you to the german who thought "yes this is a moment worth preserving"
For real, I legit took a screenshot after I cleaned up my pants after laughing so hard.
He may have already reached martyr status by then.
Propaganda.
@@jamescooper-hope6930 what?
@@bigboi4269 what's what? wtf?
bruh
The man could fall into a active volcano only to escape with a black eye.
black eye? thats what the volcano got for being so bold to try and take him on
That volcano's lucky he stopped at that
"Who the fuck wants to fight a volcano?"
"MAYBE THE VOLCANO WAS BEING A RIGHT COCK!?!?"
i didn't expect to find a man who could give Mad Jack Churchill a run for his money, but this guy is just straight up impressive
The fact they fought for the same side, under the same flag. No wonder they won.
Should of just made the two of them there own unit lol...war would of really been won by Xmas at that point 🤣
Look up Sir. Adrian Carton de Wiart, you'll be shaken to the core.
I hold the belief that a book where Upham, Mad Jack, and Leo Major somehow are put in the same unit during ww2 would be some of the best stuff.
@@theuzzlepuzzle2656 and that one American soldier who got his fucking arm taken off and got malaria but still survived and fought till the end of the war
That shot of him all tangled up posted chilling should be one of those inspirational posters.
Courage
“When you tell your enemy his rank is not high enough to shoot you”
yes
“And make sure you get my good side”
When there's a videogame mechanic that makes you do next to no damage against overleveled enemies
This man is amazing. If he lived 3000 years ago we’d all be related to him.
There would be pottery showing his achievements and songs, stories and poetry all about him being the son of Gods
@@garethbattersby He fought against the gods when he fought for the Bolsheviks
If he lived 3000 years ago, we would consider him god or a mythical hero.
If he would've been around 3k years ago, he would've invented the machine gun, given it to his enemies so they couldn't hear the sound of his meaty clackers slapping off their wives, so when he got bored and wanted a fight they would still have some will. Chad's call themselves Chad because after this dude and Norris, the name Chuck is too Chad for them.
Ooga ag ug, me confirm
He avoided being gravely wounded because the gravitational pull of his massive nuts kept yanking the bullets off trajectory and sending them back towards the Germans.
I nearly spat my drink all over my laptop reading this
Best shit ever
What a epic response 🤣👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I got in bother w my teacher cus of this comment , I laughed during irish
Imagine firing a round at him and getting it whipped through your forehead at a sizable fraction of lightspeed because of a man's gravitationally collapsed mass of sheer unrepentant testicular fortitude and his indifference to whatever you could possibly do to him and more... What a fuckin fate that would be getting wrecked so unfathomably hard. Or if he teabagged you afterwards lol just a miniature active galactic nucleus turning everything it touches into testosterone and indifference. I think I just created a viable/believable deity, one that would certainly be worthy of worship if it took the form of this man especially haha
Italian soldier 1: "what an accent! Did you understand anything?"
Italian soldier 2: "bah, all these foreign languages... It's all german to me. Now get here and push!"
English is basically butchered German, but with less shouting and orders they probably thought he was a chilled out German.
@@odinbiflindi no
@@cyberdyne9480 Sasanachs are German?
@@odinbiflindi das ist mir fazegal
@@oxycodin2253 Das ist mir scheißegal
"No allied bombers shall reach the Rhine Valley. If bombers do reach the Rhine, I am not Georing, call me Meyer."
-Hermann Meyer
Only good nazi is a dead nazi
I'm german and thus heard 'em all but this is to this day my favourite quote of any of the nazi war criminals. I love when people despite all realistic odds are being so full of themselves they don't realise they're fu*ked already xD
@@lakeblackBLM socialism
It was Berlin not the Rhein
@@lakeblackBLM ok facist
These are the people we should be taught about in school. He was still alive when I left school but being an Aussie I would have liked to have known about this Kiwi legend.
I'm in the US, and I 100% wish he had been taught about in history, too. He's completely worthy of it.
My history lessons involved going over the terrible things in US and World history, but I feel like instead teaching about people like Upham would be not only vastly more engaging, but would do a great job of teaching positive qualities to try and live up to.
im from new zealand and iv never head of him
@@olivermcelwee374 Australia and New Zealand must have similar schooling then. A bit sad really.
@@olivermcelwee374 Also from NZ and my history teacher told us all about him. Different schools are different.
I'm a kiwi and did learn about him in school but I would love to have learned more anzac history
"I refuse to be shot by a corporal, come back with an officer"
Fuck me that's a damn good line. There's fuck all that corporal could do to come out of that situation with pride intact.
"...but he was shot in the arm, shattering his left elbow" ≈ 9 minutes into a 27 minute video
Other soldiers: and this was the end of my career
Chad Upham: just a scratch
@@Noperare Exactly! In like 80% of mad lads I have to stop and like put this shit in context. Because it's easy to forget that these are just people, not characters.
@@Noperare "'but a flesh wound"
Gotz von Berlichingen: "fucking pussy"
yeah? a plaster isnt gonna help is it
When NZ's quarantine ends, Upham's ghost is going to come haunt your ass for making him famous again.
Lmao
He wouldnt give a shit about the ridiculous quarantine.
@@MrROTD But how would he get on a plane? Everyone knows ghosts can't swim.
Bold of you to assume the quarantine will end
@@DIEGhostfish neither can Jim
By the way: Cretans still remember the New Zealanders who gave their lives for their land. Anyone from New Zealand reading this, you are most welcome to visit.
Thank you, friend, and I can attest to this. I have family who visited Crete a few years ago and they came home telling stories of how warmly locals treated them, especially after discovering they were from NZ.
Ahh yes, Crete, the place where I got a sunburn on my shoulders (through a shirt and pullover) which I could still see a year later.
Awesome place ... at least it was in the 80s, no idea how it got downgraded alongside the rest of the country due to the EU mishandling them.
crete was a bastard of a ww2 fight, recommend anyone to look up mark feltons videos on it. little ammo, locals ambushed axis paratroopers, waiting with pitchforks. the paratroopers also were less equipped than regular troops, often using just pistols. a bayonete charge was a key moment.
@@tedcrilly46 The Krauts weren’t exactly badly equipped, it’s that their weighty fighting tackle would get dropped in a separate canister, and the German ‘chute design originally only had one attachment point to the body, so their paratroopers could forget about steering themselves.
They therefore often landed far from their gear, which if it plonked down closer to the enemy than you did, meant you had to fight solely with what you had on your person. Crete thus led directly to the development of the FG-42; a stupidly accurate machine gun which weighed as little as the standard issue German combat rifle and could be attached to the body during descent.
Parachuted-in kit landing too far from reach, within enemy firing range, also played a pretty wretched role in Operation Market Garden.
Just putting this out there but you might wanna Google the word "Cretan" as related to British slang...just saying...
10,000 Pounds in 1945 is close to 1,000,000 New Zealand Dollars in today's money, which means that in 2023, Upham could've bought himself a 1 Bedroom Apartment in Auckland.
And then not be able to afford luxuries like...... food 😂😂😂
@dalstephen3834 or electricity. At that point, he's better off living in some place like Ngarawahia, or Ashburton.
@@EyePatchGuy88 For sure. Would also get himself a half acre with the house and money left over.
For food and electricity 🤣👌
@dalstephen3834 the only problem being is that he'd end up living in Ngarawahia or Ashburton.
@@EyePatchGuy88 Come on man,
I'll have you know I've driven straight through both those towns. I hear they are very nice places for a service station pie and a pee. 😄
"He hated praise." Yep, sounds like a kiwi.
He was also a virgo UwU
Facts
Yep. Good luck getting praise from my father 🙄
Remindsme of that twitch streamer," aww yew guys didnt hev to donate, can I give it back?
@@elias_xp95 100%!
Upham on national television: "This is worse than when I was in Colditz Castle."
i wish i was jumping out of a train rn
@@andrewdonovan219 Maybe I can cut through the floor here with a kitchen knife
He looked like he wanted to go back to the castle...
Oh god lois
I imagine when he ran through the barracks and the front gate, all the Germans sitting about or standing watch were just like “what’s he doing now?”
German Guard: Oh Christ Upham's at it again!!!
@@CommisarHood
Who else but Upham?
I'd like to imagine some of them would have been very amused by it.
This man rolled natural 20 on every saving throw in his life. Holy shit what a beast.
My guy was using weighted dice I'm calling it now
Other captains: struggle to gain the respect of his own subordinates
Charles Upham: has so much morale, he can command even enemy soldiers
Grammar and punctuation isn't your strong suit.
Charisma 100
@Grassy Knoll Indeed. The Wololo was strong with that one.
Special ability
- Polyglot authority
- Convert enemy soldiers within speaking range of the officer.
Dumped all levels into Charisma.
"I order the Italians to push my jeep."
"Roll persuasion"
Nat 20
"...They rush to do move the vehicle."
Loaded dices. He only rolled Nat 20s on Charisma checks.
"ok roll the di-"
*remembers char name*
"never mind dude, I forgot. They rush to move the vehicle without saying a thing"
I roll with advantage due to my backstory
he didnt have to speak italian, only thing he needed was to angrily make hand gestures to order italians to push the jeep
@@Master-Bait
* *angry BABADABU-PI sounds* *
He’s the kinda guy who would have myths written about him. Like Odysseus, Ajax, Achilles.
Every myth has a vein of truth.
You know I really think Achilles was as much of a chad as this man.
You know, they had to invent a whole gimmick about Achilles' body being impenetrable except for one of his heels. If he was real then he must have been as much of a chad as the Kiwi over there
Coincidentally HMNZS ( HMS ) Achilles was a cruiser sold to NZ in 1936 to patrol the South Pacific, it took part in the first naval battle and victory of WW2 for the British when it, Ajax, and Exeter sunk the Admiral Graf Spee in the battle of the river plate.
As an American I can say, Man, the Brits know how to name ships!
@@ryanhampson673 Yes, Boatie McBoatface springs to mind. 😁
This dude really self-fragged himself, burnt all his +1's in one campaign, briefly commanded the enemy team, then hit a guard with a "You're not a high enough level to perform this action".
And then had the balls to try and hope everyone would just forget about it after the war.
Quality Kiwi bloke that. Christs college represent.
Christ's? syrupsuckers &soggy biscuits? throwing things and abusing the court theatre, riiiight they really represent themselves well. Upham would be phucking furious at the bullshit comming out of that incestuous hole. Ever hear The phrase "what school did you go to?" ... Wrong answer mean you aren't in their special little club. Abnormally High percentage of entitled connected elitist asshats... Like half my family. He's one rare person to come out of that so called institution as a gc.
"Endorsed by Snoop Dogg" is about as meaningless as "endorsed by Krusty the Klown"
If we search far enough everything can be traced to being endorsed by Snoop Dogg
Krusty would probably endorse some quality cigars n booze and the like.
Limey
The wheel invention was endorsed by snoop dogg
To be fair I'd buy something endorsed by Krusty the Klown.
I’d like to see ones about Audie Murphy, Witold Pilecki, and Mick Foley. Please.
BAW GAWD HE'S DEAD
foley is god.
Matt foley ***
Crew of the enola gay?
I agree
Dankula you magnificent bastard, Upham is a beloved hero and historical figure for us here in Christchurch NZ. Cheers mate.
Has Christchurch totally recovered from that earthquake?
@@robthomas4237 not quite but getting there.
Will New Zealand survive the woke bint who's currently running the place?
@@caulkins69 female Justin Trudeau?
(Brenton) Tarrant
As a New Zealander with a love for history, I am so happy that someone is covering the story of this absolutely legendary man.
New Zealand might be a remote place with few inhabitants, but you produced quite a few mad people.
@@Endless_Horizons2007 Madness is endemic in Canterbury
I know right? Fantastic
as a kiwi how tf did we go from this to mr luerell hubbard
This man along with Sir Keith Park have always been heroes of mine because of his bravery and most of all his humble nature. Even after he received his two VCs he was a humble man. Truly a legend among men.
“I killed fiddy men.”
-Upham
*I killed fuddy men
Charles Hazlitt is basically what your character in a WW2 RPG would look like if you had maxed out charisma, health and grenade slots.
One thing Dankula didn't mention is that on the MG nest run, he picked up an onion sack and just filled it with grenades, luger in one hand. The only man he took with him was the largest man in his squad to cover him with a Bren gun and all the ammo he could carry. Its in his book Mark of the Lion. What a beast.
A WW2 rpg sound like a great idea, not gonna lie.
@@tbonbrad Anna Frank: Attack of the Attic (PG-13, IGN 7/10, CO-OP, VR, Based on True Story, Early Access)
@@chief_exe whot
Gave him the World at War Veteran Bot inventory for Grenades.
The SAS also had success with convincing Italian soldiers to follow their orders. I guess they all assumed an angry man in khaki shorts telling them what to do knew something that they didn't about the situation.
It's also important to remember that Italians didn't exactly give a shit about "the cause"
Lmao that's sounds about right
Yeah, the Italians were just as likely to hate the Germans - to the point of providing assistance to the allied forces at times.
Very independent-minded souls - and that's how I like to live my life. Crap soldiers though.
There are stories of Italian families helping out American soldiers due to the fact that many of the American soldiers had relatives in Italy. Also, the italians hated Mussolini with a passion.
@@SuperBartles True i mean, the people that killed Mussolini were other italians.
I remember as a 10 year old him sitting down with me at my Grandads funeral telling me a story of how my grandfather snuck behind enemy lines and shot a horse to feed everyone when they were cut off from supplies.... Charles Upham was just a humble man
Pretty cool
was yr grandad one of the old diggers on this is yr life with him?
Yep, he looked comfier on the barbed wire than he did in front of a live studio audience lol. What a bloody legend mate.
Can you blame him though?
I bet Molly was in the dog house for tricking him into going after that.
Charles's uncle was a well known doctor in Christchurch when he was a child, and he used to visit a leper colony on an island just off the coast. Even when he was a kid he was fearless. The Greatest New Zealander ever.
edmund hillary just left the chat...
Yep 100% agree. A true Kiwi legend.
This guy is literally the protagonist in Wolfenstein
Hahaha damn straight!
Good thing you said "literally". I 'd hate for anyone to think you were speaking rhetorically. Or hyperbolically. Or ironically. Thank you for making that distinction.
No, that's Mad Jack Churchill.
He is also Lucas Riggs in Call of Duty: Vanguard...although they portray him as Australian for some reason?
"I refuse to be shot by a corporal, go get an officer."
"Why you- How dare you- Do you even understand the situation you're... Fine."
What do you even do in that situation?! You’ve just been disrespected by a prisoner who literally tells you “Go get your dad” while he’s lying in barbed wire and smoking a cig! Tbh I think I wouldn’t even talk back, I’d just walk away.
my grandad Albert served with him and they were good friends, my nana has a few photos of my grandad and Charles together. so cool to see a video done on him in this style.
Chur.
"Well, during the war..."
Sorry mate, couldn't resist.
Recently deceased, a friend of mine’s father was the chap in charge, at the MoD, of looking after events arranged on behalf of surviving V.C. recipients -when those few guys got together, across all ages, the level of booze consumed and subsequent riotous conduct was the subject of breathtaking notoriety. And considering just how inevitably numerous the absent comrades must be, of someone who gets a Victoria Cross, whom they feel obliged to toast and vicariously drink for, having themselves survived, you can more than understand it.
I would theorize that the Italians helped him simply because he asked. He didn’t come to them as an enemy, no one needed to die that day. He simply asked for help as a man, and was given help. No harm no foul.
It could have had something to do with the mg-42 he had mounted on the truck.
@@JarthenGreenmeadow "Aren't the germans our allies? Is that a german uniform? That's a german gun...I think this is an ally"
"Ah, who cares? We're gonna be Allies next week, anyway!"
I second your hypothesis. Of all the listening to and reading of vets I've done, the one thing that stuck out to me over and over was how difficult most people find it to be to kill someone else or even get aggressive with a stranger. Most people will only shoot if they are shot at, and even then, not necessarily. The primary reaction to being shot at isn't going into some tactical mode, but usually just disbelief that someone you've never met would try to take your life. Soldiers tend to view themselves as at war with, after enough time, not their enemy soldiers, but the human condition itself, and the enemy is just as much a victim of said condition as they are - which can lead to some interesting sympathies developing
I agree, Upham would have no reason to treat the Italians as lesser persons and the Italians responded in kind. The Italians cop a lot for WWII but really they fought well when they needed to fight and were smart when they should have been. There is a story of two lost NZ soldiers coming across 4000 Italian soldiers, the Italians surrendered to the lost Kiwis and showed them back to the lines. The Italians could have killed the Kiwi's but showed bravery and surrendered. That takes huge balls to do that, the easy path is to continue fighting and die for something that doesn't make sense (some socialist political ideology).
Upham actually went to one of the first feminist marches in New Zealand, when he left his shirt was ironed and he was holding a sandwich.
Almost had me there, but no way a feminist can be so useful as to make a sammich.
upham gets punched by chuck norris. chuck norris immediately converts to pacifism.
Nice.
You had me in the first half, not gonna lie.
Lmao
I've had the honour to pay my respects at his gravestone in Papanui, he's a legend and I'll never forget him and other heroes like the Rats of Tobruk and the 28th Maori Battalion
We honour the 28th but completely ignore all the other kiwi battalions. It’s fucking insulting the way our country ignores some and glorifies others.
There’s so many madlads throughout history, this is why Dankula is so awesome and exciting, we never know what we’re gonna get and it never disappoints, thank you for educating us Uncle Dank🤟🏼
🤮
You mean daddy Dank uwu
@@redranger1949 yes where are my manners 😓
Uncle Ben
@@chewnz1127 Please keep your mouthcrap inside next time. Thank you.
When his jeep got stuck, Upham just wololo'd them italians.
Wasn't Dundee an Aussie and not a Kiwi?
@@mr.powell8817 Crocodile Dundee? Yeah he was Australian, but how's that related to my comment though? :D
@@TheHyperfilthered The wololo, the gesture Dundee does in order to move animals to his bidding
@@mr.powell8817 oh I see. I was referencing a video game called Age of Empires where a dude uses a spell (says wololoo) to capture enemy soldiers. That might be a Dundee reference in the game then
Please do Canadian soldier Léo Major. If there was ever a definition of a madlad durring WW2 it was this man. Single handedly taking on a German armed half track. Single handedly taking on a SS unit. Taking a grenade to the face, taking out his eye, but staying in service because it makes me look like a pirate, legitimately what he said. Singlehandedly took back a German controlled town, because it was rainy and cold and he blamed it on the Germans and decided "fuck stealth missions, I'm just gonna get this done". Among other ridiculous things he managed to do, while he was supposed to be a recon/sniper
I remember learning about this mad lad in high school
He is on the list of future Madlads.
As a Canadian this guy makes me like the military
@@seafoam6119 I had to learn about him by chance, man had a badass nickname "one eyed ghost" and a street named after him yet my school never mentioned him
Audie. Murphy.
A true hero indeed. A man that did extraordinary things in war but did not expect to be rewarded for it in any way. When he was, he instead helped others. As far away from a modern politician as you can get. RIP Upham.
I'm in the New Zealand Cadet Corps, and in our unit we have a platoon named after Captain Upham. I didn't know anything about him until you made this video. I am damn proud to be a kiwi.
He's our most decorated solider & you knew nothing about him. Didn't even think to google the name? Your a disgrace to the service & your unit.
@@JohnSmith-mk8bf i joined just last year bro. I don't know about you but we don't get regular history lessons during our nights.
@@stuffbuddy4304 im just winding you up fella. Old unit rivalry between 4th otago south & 2cants. His nedals are on display at the army museum waiouru if you get the chance. Still odd they would'nt mention anything about our greatest war hero, times change i guess.
@@JohnSmith-mk8bf You're one sly dog buddy. You know, I think I might just join the next skills team so I can pound yous into the ground. And how are the units across the country numbered? I've never anyone refer to us as the 2nd, not to mention anyone else and their numbers. Anyways have a good one, you got me there.
@@stuffbuddy4304 haha glad you got it! Lol, duno much about the cadet units to be honest. But your parent units nickname was 2cnuts, when i was around. Being out of it 10yrs or so, moved to aus. Missed out on our 10yr deployment reunion due to the coof. The names & numbers go back to a couple years after ww2 when everyone was back & the numbers wern't there anymore. Otago was the 4th rifle regiment & Dunis the main centre so got the name & based there but it covers invers through to queenstown. 2cants same sorta thing, smaller units rolled up into one force, nelson to west coast as fair south as timaru. Before then basicaly everywhere in nz had it's own rifle company or regiment, westcoat, nelson, timaru all had there own little units as example and they go back to late 1800s early 1900s. Wasn't all just infantry though, Dunis used to have artillery at the hall till early 1980s for example. Theres probably stuff online, thats what i roughly know/remember lol. The rumour as i was leaving was they were gona merge 4th otago & 2cants together, but anyway. It's a good thing your doing, hope you stick with it & get something out of it.
Childhood is wanting to be like Sgt. York, adolescence is wanting to be like Mad Jack Churchill, adulthood is wanting to be Charles Hazlitt Upham.
I like this Christy. Excuse me, Chris D. My apologies ;)
Impressive words Chris.
“They don’t like it Upham (‘up ‘em)”
Corporal Jones - Dad’s Army
Excellent work, soldier!
Not sure if it refers to that, as he always had a bayonet on him when he said it. To be fair most germans feared the British bayonet.
@@myview5840
They don't like it up 'em...
I love how Jones' face is on a t-shirt with the quote next to it.
This is beyond words. That picture is just fucking insane. It seems that he earned respect, even perhaps forced it out of even his enemies in war despite their best efforts otherwise. I imagine along with his top tier trash talk he also inspired German soldiers through how he took care of others and gave respect to those he felt deserved it. There were likely a few badass German guys who exercised humility as well and admired seeing how Upham carried himself despite being an absolute legendary badass.
This madman really looked the guard in the eye and told him he wasnt good enough to kill him. What a badass XD
I would have fucking laughed so hard if I was that guard.
@@tbonbrad nah you would've done what you're told, just like any good guard does
The commandant reprimanded the guard for not having shit him in the moment.
Jesus, what an absolute Giga Chad. I'm worried I might be pregnant from just hearing the story about his exploits.
Do not worry aboutit as I doubt if his balls of steel would waste their bullets on a blond having a bad hair day.
I'd like to petition for the dictionary to refer to this man when you look up the word ''Man''. Rest in peace, you absolute legend.
W/his picture in the margin.
Love having my family featured in an Absolute Mad Lad! What an honor!
Thanks for commenting! His story is so inspiring. Truly a gentleman.
Oh shit
true kiwi.true humble north canterbury.
Is this real?
I'm sure you are descended from him as the same last name. Can you just say how please if you don't mind?
Imagine being told “your not high enough rank to shoot me”
Try to shoot a premium player in a game and get hit with a microtransaction to access the real bullets lmao
This is basically the start of megaman x
Ima try this in Call of Duty
At that point there's no reason to live anymore.
The story goes his statue was created from precious metals mined from his balls
Said mining occurred prior to his death. And without anesthetic
Why did I read this in Sam O'nella's voice
and he didn't even blink
Legends have it, they broke a dozen adamantium drillheads getting the minerals out.
The greatest tragedy of history is that this man and Mad Jack never shared a battlefield... the germans would have had no chance.
With back up of audie murphy
Fuck. Now we need that animated somehow!
Don't forget Tatham-Warter!
The whole german army would surrender if they had any sence
@@mrnobody6447 and Leo major
"utter indifference to danger"
something about the wording just makes it sound so much more badass!
Master Sargent Roy Benavides the man who went into combat with a only a machete and almost singlehandedly saved a squad while getting shot like 12 times and stabed 3or4
Local man to angry to die.
Charged an NVA battalion (1000 men) with only a knife, a little over a year after he stepped on a landmine and was told he would never walk again. Ended up with 37 different bullet, bayonet, and shrapnel wounds, was examined twice and believed to be dead both times until he spit in the face of the doctor that was zipping him into a body bag.
and earned his place amongst the Medal of Honor recipients
Don't forget also taking a grenade to the back
Like I said MADLAD
The picture of him laying in the barbed wire smoking a cigarette is on tier with the picture of Johnny Cash eating cake in a bush
11/10
It’s become a popular belief online these days… That he was just high off his ass like usual… And snuck away with an entire cake. But the true story is much more touching and meaningful. It was actually a photoshoot for his record… And you can find the rest of the story online. And I think there’s a video or two of him telling the story in an interview
More like the Jim Marshall shot of Johnny flipping off the warden at San Quentin in 1969.
That picture is absolute perfection.
Johnny Cash on the cake story: “On a hot summer afternoon in New York City, June and I walked through the zoo in Central Park. It was a hot dog and ice cream day. The place was crowed and giving up on the Hassle of working our way through the crowd, we headed back to the hotel to get ready for the concert that night at the Garden State Art Center. As we approached the hotel, I saw a bum lying on the sidewalk in front of the hotel. He never even opened his eyes when I stood over him, June said, “Come On Honey” But I said “just a minute” I walked around him, hoping he wasn’t dead. My shadow fell across him and when I moved on, I saw his eyes flutter as the bright sunlight hit his face. He didn’t open his eyes, but I knew he wasn’t dead. “What are you doing?” June asked “I’m thinking about my friend here, “I said” “that could be me, you know” June came over closer and smiled at me. “That was you a couple of times.” Then she said again, “Come on lets go” The rest of the story is in the song. I became that man. I put myself in his place and my mind, he finally won. I wish I knew who he is, and where he is. I’d send him a piece of Strawberry Cake.”
"God fucking damn it I don't get paid enough for this shit."
-Nazi Soldier No. 607,542
Maybe they werent superior after all
*German soldier No. 607,542
@@Nantosuelta Nazis. Stop being a werhaboo.
@@cortex8239 you failed history class
@@lakeblackBLM They were for a while, but then the meth abuse really started to wear on them.
“I refuse to be shot by a corporal. Go get an officer”
Holy straight up fuck that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard
I mean... He either gets unstuck by the Germans cutting the wire, or he gets shot. And now there is a corpse in the wire.
Me: this story sounds like one hell of a fishermans tale
Dank: and heres a picture of him chilling in barbed wire
Me: fucking wat?
Sounds about right.
Same, TBH
Exactly
Dude same lol thought it was an early April Fools joke
Forget a slice of humble pie, this man is the whole damn bakery...
Special move: grenades.
And invincibility.
Ultimate Ability: Use Absolute Alpha Male Authority and Chadness to Order enemy troops.
Special move: Bread knife and yeet.
Charisma: [REDACTED]
Use of the force mind control on enemy troops Special ability unlock: Jedi
I love how high accolades are the running joke of his life. It’s just a gag that never gets old.
Movie critic reviewing Predator: "This movie is over the top to a point beyond parody. An insult to real servicemen and women. One liners and macho meat heads taking on entire armies. Unreal trash in a long line of 80s shlog that plagued a generation."
Ghost of Charles Hazlitt Upham: "I liked it."
I know this is a joke, but the whole point of predator was subverting those action movie tropes, by having the macho men getting curb stomped by an alien
Predators would totally accept him into their clan.
@@deussalt8108 Predator would have helped him pull his truck out of the mud.
@@Volkaer 🤣
Little known fact: The screenwriter of Predator had a nannie who was German. She told him the horror stories of her father. A tale of The Devil Himself. ;)
This chad broke the Germans' minds because they couldn't fathom people not following orders.
Also he is Samwise Gamgee. Wanted to marry his sweetheart and live in Hobbiton.
There is nothing more based than defeating the dark lord and going back to your home-hill to marry your dreams sweetheart
This generation could learn a lot from the heroics and humility of this legendary man.
By killing facists
@@lakeblackBLM Commie rats as well
@@sturg1853 and germans, too!
@@bloodyhell8201 No they're peaceful now pls don't
Man with a gun: You're dead fool.
Charles just sitting back with a smoke in barbed wire: Nah, go get your dad. I don't got time for babies.
That image of him chilling in the barbed wire is the best thing I've seen all day
*That* is masculinity
Best thing I've seen all year tbh
This mans life is a goddamn Sabaton song, Rest In Peace you hero
A song? His story alone is worth a full album
@@Noperare hell yeah
The reason why those two Italian soldiers helped him might be a very simple one, the battles in Egypt and especially El Alamein were really overwhelming for the Italian forces, as the allies had twice the amount of troops, 5 times the tanks, and 10 times the airplanes, while Germans barely even sent troops in support of Italy, and during the final fights a lot of Italians were straight up abandoned by Germans after being told to retreat, a lot of Italians deciding to stay and keep fighting despite having no ammo, grenades or support against multiple tanks. Among both right and left in Italy these battle are reason of national pride due to the martyrdom of the soldiers involved and it even inspired a movie named after it. So when an allied officer asked Italians to help him out, they probably did so either because they wanted to get back at the fleeing Germans, were abandoned behind enemy lines and saw no point in continuing fighting, or simply did what Italians like to do and were just friendly even toward an enemy.
@rian marky While true, the main difference was still in the form of armored vehicles and airplanes. Which the Italians had little of in comparison.
The whole reason the German Afrika Corp was there was to help the Italians. The Italians had been soundly beaten by the Anzacs and British in Libya in 1940. Although Italy at this stage had been on a war footing for five years, fighting various poorly armed colonial enemies, the Italian army was clearly not ready to fight a modern war, technical skills and experianced leaders in the Army was lacking and the ability of the the officer corp was inadequate. Manpower was plentiful but equipment was not It was a series of serious defeats and huge amount of ground taken by the allies that made A H send the Afrika Corp to save his buddy Mussolinis arse in N Africa. The Exact same thing had occurred in Greece, Mussolini wanted some glory, invaded Greece and his army wasnt up to the task, so Germany got involved, leading to the battle of Crete.
So my great uncle was at El Alamein and told stories about hearing his friends talk about a soldier who was essentially unkillable. Fortunately my uncle never had to face off against him, or he’d be dead
Who was he fighting for?
@@bennichols561 germans
@@zonedevilgaming6282 I'm glad you got to hear some stories.
My Granddad joined up in 39, was in Greece, Crete and North Africa. He was briefly a POW and was then shipped home injured in late 1943.
Upham: Will you please listen, I'm not worthy of this praise.
Everyone else: HE'S WORTHY OF THIS PRAISE!
HE'S JUST A VERY NAUGHTY BOY
Somebody should've got him a Chinese fingertrap, something for him to ponder over.
Real life Ciaphas Cain.
@@BobPapadopoulos YES... HE IS THE MESSIAH
This guy is my girlfriend's great-grandad, wtf, what a fucking legend!
You'll be the legend if you manage to put a ring on it pal
You should marry the crap out of her. Don't let that one go.
If this is true youre not worthy... and I'm sure you agree
If this is true, you should take on her last name.
@@garethbattersby well no one is worthy
If someone did something similar to this guy 900 years ago they would’ve written an epic of his exploits adding in some magic or blessing and we would completely discredit the historicity of the protagonist.
Is historicity a word tho?
Edit: Holy shit it is. Thanks for the new addition to my vocabulary
also would have died due to infection after the first battle.
@@pierluigiadreani2026 This is actually a common myth. While the ancients lacked the means to disinfect wounds, they were very good at cleaning them. There are plenty of exmaples from history of warriors who were wounded and went on to live long lives.
A biopic of Charles Upham would end up being a comedy it's just to mental, a 100% full on mad lad. New Zealand should be very proud.
This man is the definition of "Call an ambulance, but not for me"
"Kiwi Captain America", yeah, that scans.
"They don't like it, Upham."
"I'll take that as my cue, Sir."
I'm kind of annoyed at how hard I laughed at that.
What a bloody legend, as an Australian I have always heard tales of the New Zealanders alongside Aussies glad I got to hear this legends tale.
How the hell can a person as badass as this exist? This is the kind of man who will be remembered forever in legend alongside figures such as Achilles and Heracles.
Coincidentally Achilles was a NZ cruiser that took part in the first sea battle and British victory of WW2, the battle of the river plate, in which the German pocket battleship KMS Graf Spee was sunk at Montevideo ...
@@harrycurrie9664 Another little known fact is that after the war, the HMNZS Achilles was sold to the Indian navy (Renamed INS New Delhi) and starred as herself in the movie "Battle of the River Plate" about the very battle she took part in.
Have anyone heard of Sir Nicholas Winton who helped 669 children out of czechoslovakia? Just before war broke out
in a class that was Specifically on WW2 and events around it in history it was mentioned
Yeah there was a TV special about him and when the host asked if there are any in audience that he saved to stand up, it was like 90% of them who did which shocked him and he started to cry
nice numbers
That man is amazing. Love Sir Nicholas Winton!
He isn't even really mentioned in our schools (I am from the Czech Republic) I only know him cause i'm a history buff
Larry Torn. The only SS officer buried in Arlington cemetery. He’s was as mad as the get.
Laori Torni was his original name i believe
@@jakobgrayson1039 Lauri Törni, changed/translated it to Larry Thorn in the US to make it easier on the 'muricans.
Man of three armies.
Sounds like a champ
Commie killin' aficionado.
As a Kiwi, I thought I knew a lot about Charles Upham. You have brought some more to this story by way of his (quotes) indifference in the face of the enemy.
Your presentation of his story was not what I expected, in saying that it was perfect in portraying of his deeds on the battlefield, as a POW and finally in peace time.
I enjoyed watching this piece so much, I watched again and decided to comment.
I have read his book “Mark of the Lion” and I recommend it to everyone.
Two instances not mentioned in this video, firstly in North Africa when receiving his first VC from General Claude Auchinleck , he forgot to salute and about-turned to rejoin the ranks, half way back he remembered he then turned back saluted the General then resumed his place in the ranks.
Secondly, a person drove onto his Canterbury farm in a VW, he warned the person off with a shotgun.
I can understand the amount of ‘thumbs down’ on this story, but as I’m Kiwi it makes me proud to see this story told again.
Well done👍
He's like a action movie protagonist in real life or something. It even seems like he had plot armor escaping death all those times.
Confirmation bias. Upham knew of boys just like him, hundreds, probably thousands of officers like him. Sticking it to Germany as POWs as were their standing orders.
He survived. They didn’t.
Next mad lad: Alexander Prokhorenko
The Russian soldier who ordered an air strike on his own position while fighting ISIS
Ahhh yes I remember that story. True fuckin Chad aswell. There are just some men so fucking manly no one will ever be on their level.
This isnt a very new or unique as far as Soviet or Russian army goes.
@@dionmcneill8722 Reminds me of Léo Major, while doing crazy stuff in ww2. Also ordered artillery closer in the korean war, when the artillery platoon could hear the rounds whistling and detonating from Leo's radio.
God. An absolute gigachad. F to that man.
His gigantic balls probably made it easier to spot him
He didn’t wanna take credit for war heroics? I can’t even share a friends meme without being accused of stolen valor. “That’s my meme! Gimme my credit!”
Get better friends.
@@ns88ster fuck that, memologists deserve credit for their work
@@dennisfischer7676 "You will never be a woman." - Anon