Matteo Lane Roasts Times Square

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  • Опубликовано: 17 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 421

  • @thescoobymike
    @thescoobymike 2 года назад +476

    "There's a specific type of gay that would wear this, and that gay is Frankie Grande" lmaoooo

    • @ricardorojas3872
      @ricardorojas3872 2 года назад +4

      It was funny how he brutally burnt him but, who is he? 😅🤣

    • @DC-pp8xf
      @DC-pp8xf 2 года назад +11

      @@ricardorojas3872 Ariana Grande brother.

    • @jenniferdesouza5082
      @jenniferdesouza5082 2 года назад +12

      Oh I wheezed when he said that

    • @Did.You.Forget
      @Did.You.Forget 2 года назад +4

      Scientifically proven I hear.

  • @gpoetx
    @gpoetx 2 года назад +163

    Honestly Netflix should give you a special

  • @rachelaimeemateya2676
    @rachelaimeemateya2676 2 года назад +197

    I cannot describe how frequently I busted out into full blown belly laughs while in a crowded nail salon. You're incredible

  • @averyanahi
    @averyanahi 2 года назад +208

    sometimes as a chicana i feel weird not being able to speak spanish super fluently even tho it was actually my first language but then I hear how confidently people like matteo say they can speak spanish and then I HEAR how they speak spanish and I feel better about how much I can speak lmao

    • @averyanahi
      @averyanahi 2 года назад +54

      ps i know he's part mexican my point is that his spanish is not perfect and neither is mine so maybe I'll stop feelin bad about how I speak it lolol

    • @matteolanecomedy
      @matteolanecomedy  2 года назад +152

      @@averyanahi hahah i learned italian first then spanish, so i speak spatalian haha

    • @ML-xh6rd
      @ML-xh6rd 2 года назад +18

      Same here. I still hold back sometimes but I try not to because people really do appreciate the effort of you trying. Sometimes they'll even help you to pronounce or say things more correctly which is nice.

    • @geewiz8253
      @geewiz8253 2 года назад +3

      @@matteolanecomedy Lol. My grandma spoke Portuñol.

    • @aveuch
      @aveuch Год назад +5

      I grew up thinking my Spanish to was perfect, and better than any of my cousins, until I started using it a professional context. Umm, no mijo.

  • @wabisabi7755
    @wabisabi7755 2 года назад +40

    I like how you touched the sparkly thing despite the Do Not Touch sign. I stan an unbothered queen. 😂

  • @evelynmmm
    @evelynmmm 2 года назад +64

    The Italian accent when you speak Spanish! I love it.

  • @ZAjosh
    @ZAjosh 2 года назад +113

    "Not like cats where everyone looks like they have Hep C" made me spit out my coffee.

    • @jessicapaxton2502
      @jessicapaxton2502 2 дня назад

      The cackle that came outta me when he said that 😂😂😂

  • @matrix2297
    @matrix2297 2 года назад +127

    The effortless charisma and wit is Matteo's way of letting everyone know, "You ain't never had a friend like me".

  • @justinchristian3374
    @justinchristian3374 2 года назад +52

    I’ve been binging on Matteo all month….He is so naturally funny!

  • @watchparty-iz2ms
    @watchparty-iz2ms 2 года назад +58

    I would’ve loved to have known what was going through that man’s head who was standing right behind Matteo when he said he was gonna bring the Boba Fett mask to a sex party 🤣

  • @mollyfletcher7746
    @mollyfletcher7746 2 года назад +20

    Honestly this is the best, it's like walking around the mall with a friend.

    • @em0_tion
      @em0_tion 2 года назад +2

      Yeah, but NONE of my friends are this incredibly hilarious! 😂

  • @BayuSeta
    @BayuSeta 2 года назад +41

    do this at every city you're touring in Matteo! love it!

  • @Sew_OzzyWar_Made_This
    @Sew_OzzyWar_Made_This 2 года назад +39

    This was fucking hilarious and great. As a native New Yorker (from the city! Big difference people), I needed this roast of time square. We all need this. 👏🏽😂

  • @hunterpall9498
    @hunterpall9498 Год назад +15

    The guy turned directly towards the camera listening in on what he was saying during the second mask he would “walk into the sex party wearing” had me weak.

  • @els1f
    @els1f 2 года назад +14

    The thing about there being no more baritones in Broadway is SO TRUE!

  • @tiffanyd.8489
    @tiffanyd.8489 2 года назад +11

    I lost it at the Sailor Moon reference because thats exactly what I thought when he picked it up. But I specifically remember Usagi saying "oh Darien!" in the voice Mateo made. I just feel seen lmfao

  • @andreeabianca318
    @andreeabianca318 2 года назад +25

    The fact that the mango was the best part confirms Matteo as my spirit animal. The best mask/helmet for him is an apolonian warm metal one, with crystaline feathers around the eyes. Hawkgirl style, "Emily Ratajkowski 2019 met gala"-esque. Change my mind.

  • @burtonkrichard8898
    @burtonkrichard8898 2 года назад +21

    That M&M wall is a dangerous game when your 16. I spent $50 accidentally. Ate none of it. Cause I forgot about them in my hotel room. Field trips for kids ya know. Also love the Frankie grande slander. Keep it coming.

  • @friedcatfood
    @friedcatfood 2 года назад +21

    Dude, as a native speaker, your spanish was pretty good :) You speak spanish with an italian accent and I speak italian with a spanish accent lol

  • @BruthaB100
    @BruthaB100 2 года назад +12

    I love your sasss and sarcasm! Always good vibes with you Matteo. Can't wait for your next comedy special 👍🏽

  • @SchwarzBass
    @SchwarzBass 2 года назад +15

    you're so right about broadway voices and the lack of lower voice colors! You should post more of you really singing!

    • @yoyodre
      @yoyodre 2 года назад +1

      I listened to the new Broadway recording of my favorite show, Caroline, or Change. And i kept thinking this has no darkness in the low notes.

  • @JDMimeTHEFIRST
    @JDMimeTHEFIRST 2 года назад +12

    Ursula is the best. She did exactly what she said she would and yet everyone got upset about it. She’s just teaching Ariel how to be a feminist. Don’t give up your voice and unique body for a man, girl.

  • @Nicolas20205
    @Nicolas20205 2 года назад +10

    Matteo speaking Spanish just made him the sexiest gay guy I've ever met thanks to Instagram.

  • @tikettle
    @tikettle 2 года назад +9

    Mateo: “who the hell is getting almond m&m’s??” Guy in grey shirt: “…”

  • @Victoria-po2xj
    @Victoria-po2xj 2 года назад +7

    Hilarious as usual, but when you started talking about Sailor Moon that was the icing on the cake of how awesome you are 🌙✨

  • @heavenlyhashbrown1
    @heavenlyhashbrown1 2 года назад +7

    Please go to LA and collab with Miss Coco Peru. I feel like you two would really get along lol

  • @ic7353
    @ic7353 2 года назад +4

    Dude you are too funny. Netflix please give this man a special!

  • @sandrafilippelli6476
    @sandrafilippelli6476 2 года назад +9

    Ugh! I freakin adore you Matteo. Everything you do is so entertaining. Please keep the content coming!

  • @myboibill
    @myboibill 2 года назад +8

    The license plate that says “Mateo” is still being made at Attica. The boys would like you to go up with John for a fitting.

  • @karacool69
    @karacool69 2 года назад +1

    Omg but the Simpson's reference! And the Sailor Moon!! Omg were meant to be friends!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @geostyma
    @geostyma 2 года назад +12

    He speaks Spanish with an Italian accent xD

  • @glooperscooper
    @glooperscooper 2 года назад +9

    Matteo: I'm such a Chicago Stan
    *eats a hotdog with JUST ketchup"

    • @aprilschauers112
      @aprilschauers112 2 года назад +6

      The cheek, the nerve, the audacity, the gall and the gumption!

  • @k.s.thompson5766
    @k.s.thompson5766 2 года назад +10

    Fellow Maleficent fan here and yes, Disney really dropped all the balls with her. Two movies and this is STILL happening?

  • @nathalianunez6692
    @nathalianunez6692 Год назад +9

    Me emocioné mucho cuando Matteo comenzó a hablar en español 😭 pero al mismo tiempo, me dio mucha risa por su acento italiano

  • @MrDiscoDavo
    @MrDiscoDavo 2 года назад +3

    Sharp, witty, hilarious and adorable.
    Beats any m&m combo.
    I’m bordering on stalker obsessed.
    😋

  • @FranciscoP38
    @FranciscoP38 2 года назад +5

    Matteo, I love you! Netflix must give you a special, period. We should start a petition! ❤️

  • @Sishel
    @Sishel 2 года назад +2

    “Mexican heaven” lol! I feel so seen right now, mango with chile Tajin was my favorite after school snack growing up.

  • @karmallama7957
    @karmallama7957 2 года назад +2

    I live under a rock and discovered you today. Been belly laughing all day, Thank you !

  • @willmerm6165
    @willmerm6165 2 года назад +4

    Hmm, I guess it's time to tell off Netflix. I'm personally offended that they haven't offered/given you a special. At least, I got to see you live in Miami. That was a blast! Thank you for the gut busting laughs.

  • @rah62
    @rah62 2 года назад +3

    4:55 RIP legendary comedienne Pat Carroll, who just died - she voiced Ursula.

  • @bshap7107
    @bshap7107 2 года назад +45

    I NEED to see Matteo entering a sex party with a Zerg helmet on 😂😂

    • @augusts1
      @augusts1 2 года назад +1

      Most sex parties do not allow cameras/phones to record at their event.for privacy reasons. So good luck w/that lol.

    • @derekpearce4987
      @derekpearce4987 2 года назад

      "...you know how much dick I would get?" I just got told off for waking up my BF screaming with laughter at that.

  • @jamestnov41945
    @jamestnov41945 2 года назад +1

    Matteo I was in Times Square in 1980 wonderful place to people watch. Memory serves there were no food vendors allowed. Thank you for the update tour.

  • @Joe1339
    @Joe1339 2 года назад +4

    I’m surprised but I shouldn’t be that Matteo sounds like an Italian speaking Spanish.

  • @kambermusic
    @kambermusic 2 года назад

    Just stumbled upon Matteo on my RUclips recommended - he’s fluent in multiple languages, I adore his Chicago accent, he’s effing hilarious, and hot as hell
    I’m dying over here

  • @PawshankRedemption
    @PawshankRedemption Год назад

    Oh my absolute!! You just brought me right back to New York! Love this!! ❤️❤️🐩

  • @acutierolls
    @acutierolls 2 года назад +1

    2:50 Attn: Ted Sarandos, Netflix Content Heads, et. al.:
    GIVE! MATTEO! A! SPECIAL!

  • @Ophelia_Pain
    @Ophelia_Pain Год назад

    Metteo Lane deserves, everything!!
    He deserves his own show!!!

  • @nomanshigh3058
    @nomanshigh3058 2 года назад

    Clips bought me here. Now I want that special. NETFLIX LOOKING AT YOU

  • @YosefK
    @YosefK 2 года назад +10

    finally!!!!! someone who does only ketchup on their hotdog and only cheese on their burger! we are a beautiful but dying breed

    • @greggi47
      @greggi47 6 месяцев назад

      Perhaps dying because of that abominable ketchup condiment choice. Ketchup belongs on burgers. It's somewhere in Leviticus, I think.

    • @36993020
      @36993020 2 месяца назад

      Only in America where people identify themselves based on condiments on a fast food.

  • @alejandromendoza9554
    @alejandromendoza9554 2 года назад +1

    Mango con tajin, Best part!!! Amo tus videos Mateo.

  • @alfredoruiz7562
    @alfredoruiz7562 2 года назад +12

    Spanish with a heavy Italian accent

    • @matteolanecomedy
      @matteolanecomedy  2 года назад +5

      Hahaha I know. I’m sorry

    • @ladosis5596
      @ladosis5596 2 года назад +2

      @@matteolanecomedy don't be! Is very charming

    • @ejgonzal13
      @ejgonzal13 2 года назад +1

      hahaha I enjoyed the Italian Spanish

    • @alfredoruiz7562
      @alfredoruiz7562 2 года назад +2

      @@matteolanecomedy All good. It's like my name-Spanish with a heavy Italian accent!

    • @UniMagik
      @UniMagik 2 года назад

      ICONIC TBH

  • @MrJohnunico
    @MrJohnunico 2 года назад +1

    Lol i cant with u, too funny. U remember me of (Miss Coco Peru) type of vibe, like when she goes around and roast places/ stuff etc.... She makes me laugh as well. =D

  • @haleyeahguccimama
    @haleyeahguccimama 2 года назад +5

    Fighting evil with moonlight
    Winning love by daylight
    Never running from a street fight
    She is the one named Sailor Moon!

  • @morganpalmer5143
    @morganpalmer5143 2 года назад +2

    Netflix, give this man a special!

  • @mlucier32
    @mlucier32 2 года назад +3

    "Not like Cats where they all look like they have Hep C." 🤣🤣🤣

  • @tatertots2395
    @tatertots2395 2 года назад +1

    Need more of these! And maybe bring some guests along like Schulzy

  • @dividedpersona
    @dividedpersona 2 года назад

    We need more Mateos in the world to bring balance to the force.

  • @TPark-rf3lt
    @TPark-rf3lt 3 месяца назад

    6:42 my favorite baritone has always been Howard Keel in "Kiss Me Kate" and yes.... bring the baritone back!

  • @mattfortune8116
    @mattfortune8116 2 года назад +1

    Yes finally someone notices...where are all the baritones! We need more bari songs!!!

  • @BakaNeBaka
    @BakaNeBaka 2 года назад +47

    This further reaffirms my disinclination to ever waste time, energy, money and effort to be in that part of the world, especially this part. It looks like a horrible tourist trap magnified a gazillion times.... UGH....

    • @eoincampbell1584
      @eoincampbell1584 2 года назад +21

      Ok but I want to try all the different kinds of M&Ms

    • @sazji
      @sazji 2 года назад +11

      Well, Times Square is a special little chunk of Disney-fied tourist dystopia in a really fascinating city. New York is not a place I’d want to live long-term, but I’m really glad it exists; it’s just it’s own reality.

    • @PerryPerfectPerson
      @PerryPerfectPerson 2 года назад

      Damn lol who pissed in your mouth?

    • @TheFullmetal88m
      @TheFullmetal88m 2 года назад +6

      @@sazji best quote from a song...."Live in California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Live in New York city once, but leave before it makes you hard" Wear Sunscreen by Baz Luhrmann

    • @bruceh4180
      @bruceh4180 2 года назад

      @@eoincampbell1584 there are other locations to visit.

  • @TischTosh
    @TischTosh 2 года назад

    "Ok, no shade but....vanilla ice cream cone.....that's a low point" ....is shade, no? 😆 🤣

  • @The_Legend_0-0-7
    @The_Legend_0-0-7 5 месяцев назад

    Love the roast series and the new stuff ,great work

  • @RealmOfUnknown
    @RealmOfUnknown 2 года назад

    I normally watch your shorts. But now all I get are thumbnails of your flexing while on podcasts 🤣. But definitely glad I found your content, always fun

  • @MrVidau
    @MrVidau 2 года назад +1

    GIVE THIS MAN A NETFLIX SPECIAL! Personally I vouch for him because the only other person who was able to make me scream-laugh besides Matteo was Louis CK.

  • @jameshadley7936
    @jameshadley7936 2 года назад +3

    Love you Matteo .. enjoy NY. Also my husband Darren Marshall knew you year ago when starting out. Hugs 🫂

  • @gabrielsj365
    @gabrielsj365 2 года назад +1

    All these bulls are bottoming 😂😂😂

  • @panthercat38
    @panthercat38 2 года назад

    The price hikes of Netflix, but we can't get this gem A SPECIAL???

  • @michellegermaine2942
    @michellegermaine2942 2 года назад +1

    Netflix give this man a special!!!

  • @BrooklinnGorrlll
    @BrooklinnGorrlll 7 дней назад

    6:58 I love that you referenced to Oklahoma because nobody ever does and that’s where I was born and raised. Oklahoma City.

  • @Mooser2
    @Mooser2 2 года назад

    Yoooo im so glad youtube shorts recommend me your channel you are hilarious

  • @gandfgandf5826
    @gandfgandf5826 2 года назад +1

    "Gay squirrels love NY". There's a NYC tourism slogan

  • @nomanshigh3058
    @nomanshigh3058 2 года назад +1

    I learned who Frankie Grande was yesterday. Now I'm here.

  • @alexwallace6120
    @alexwallace6120 2 года назад

    Fantastic! I love all the comments when you were shopping! I really would love to see you in a Netflicks or other major network special .I hope all is well with your stand-up and life in general.

  • @emperial4421
    @emperial4421 Год назад +1

    2:33 I’m ashamed as a Chicagoan you ordered ketchup on ur hotdog

  • @multifandomz8221
    @multifandomz8221 2 года назад

    I'm still waiting for Netflix to give you a special!! That 2min time you got on Stand Out wasn't enough for meee

  • @shawncola123
    @shawncola123 2 года назад +4

    Almond and chocolate is an iconic duo, much better than peanut

  • @adriandiaz8149
    @adriandiaz8149 2 года назад +2

    You have to love the mango with Tajín!!

  • @nigeltay7546
    @nigeltay7546 2 года назад

    Okay the way they semi-planned the last shot, the reflection in puddle is actually beautiful

  • @stacjaemigracja
    @stacjaemigracja Год назад

    The green M&M joke killed me. She is working in a library now hahahaahh…

  • @Brooklynbaby47
    @Brooklynbaby47 2 года назад +1

    Lmao I work at that Olive Garden and that JLO ad creeps me out 😅😅😅

  • @TheFullmetal88m
    @TheFullmetal88m 2 года назад +7

    "we have enough problems, we can't be adding chocolate cake to cheese cake" 😂

  • @thisjustin95
    @thisjustin95 2 года назад

    The gasp following the, "they have pretzel m&m's?". Are they still your friend?!

  • @jacquelinelabovitz4613
    @jacquelinelabovitz4613 2 года назад

    You are my favorite. Please keep doing you and bringing the world joy

  • @stanislavsd
    @stanislavsd 2 года назад

    Guy is a natural, just killin it!

  • @Love_justice378
    @Love_justice378 Год назад

    Omg. Too many people. Thanks for the tour. Now I will stay clear of it. Lol

  • @lauriesyme207
    @lauriesyme207 2 года назад

    My x husband LOVED Times Square! We had to go to NY at least once a month for work, I hate crowds ( and people) so it was a hellish experience for me. Also saw Lion King on Broadway, Beauty and the Beast! That was super fun! Love your impressions of a straight guy and a gay walking! Funny! ❤ from Florida! 🌴

  • @b.michaelpeterson1425
    @b.michaelpeterson1425 2 года назад +3

    @netflix needs to give you a special.

  • @TimothyCHenderson
    @TimothyCHenderson 2 года назад +1

    Same with the gay kid sparkly affliction, Sailormoon's Ginzuishou being S tier.

  • @Electricrebel001
    @Electricrebel001 2 года назад +1

    This dude is legit funny. He needs to be bigger then he is.

  • @victoriayornet7130
    @victoriayornet7130 2 года назад +1

    @Netflix GIVE THIS BOY HIS SPECIAL ALREADY!

  • @lingywingy
    @lingywingy 2 года назад

    I was here just yesterday so now I’m frantically looking around for myself in the background

  • @ij1373
    @ij1373 2 года назад

    Omg I heard you inhale sign and thought you’d be perfect for a Bird Cage reboot! Pleeeeeease do it!💜💜💜💜

  • @aprildawnsunshine4326
    @aprildawnsunshine4326 Год назад

    😂 I love you went for peanut butter first! I'm literally eating them right now! Also, peanut m&ms is considered the healthiest of all candy apparently 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @Liz-in8lu
    @Liz-in8lu 2 года назад

    Oh my god you are hilarious and very on point!!

  • @sheenasolero
    @sheenasolero Год назад

    Thanks for the tour!😊

  • @yoyodre
    @yoyodre 2 года назад +1

    He's absolutely right about eliminating baritone parts

  • @JSanime
    @JSanime 2 месяца назад

    The part of no Broadway musicals having bass or baritone parts anymore is so true. 😢

  • @lifewriter7455
    @lifewriter7455 2 года назад

    6:50 This voice... 7:20 That walk! 😃👍🖤

  • @peachilised
    @peachilised 2 года назад

    Yes strong agree. Anytime anyones in a store with name plated things the Bort Scene must be performed in full.

  • @arturocas90
    @arturocas90 2 года назад

    Hell yeah. The mango with Tajín is the best. May wanna try cucumber with Tajín. Very popular in Mexico too