Matteo Lane Roasts Times Square

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  • Опубликовано: 7 янв 2025

Комментарии • 427

  • @thescoobymike
    @thescoobymike 2 года назад +480

    "There's a specific type of gay that would wear this, and that gay is Frankie Grande" lmaoooo

    • @ricardorojas3872
      @ricardorojas3872 2 года назад +4

      It was funny how he brutally burnt him but, who is he? 😅🤣

    • @DC-pp8xf
      @DC-pp8xf 2 года назад +11

      @@ricardorojas3872 Ariana Grande brother.

    • @jenniferdesouza5082
      @jenniferdesouza5082 2 года назад +12

      Oh I wheezed when he said that

    • @Did.You.Forget
      @Did.You.Forget 2 года назад +4

      Scientifically proven I hear.

  • @averyanahi
    @averyanahi 2 года назад +209

    sometimes as a chicana i feel weird not being able to speak spanish super fluently even tho it was actually my first language but then I hear how confidently people like matteo say they can speak spanish and then I HEAR how they speak spanish and I feel better about how much I can speak lmao

    • @averyanahi
      @averyanahi 2 года назад +54

      ps i know he's part mexican my point is that his spanish is not perfect and neither is mine so maybe I'll stop feelin bad about how I speak it lolol

    • @matteolanecomedy
      @matteolanecomedy  2 года назад +153

      @@averyanahi hahah i learned italian first then spanish, so i speak spatalian haha

    • @ML-xh6rd
      @ML-xh6rd 2 года назад +18

      Same here. I still hold back sometimes but I try not to because people really do appreciate the effort of you trying. Sometimes they'll even help you to pronounce or say things more correctly which is nice.

    • @geewiz8253
      @geewiz8253 2 года назад +3

      @@matteolanecomedy Lol. My grandma spoke Portuñol.

    • @aveuch
      @aveuch 2 года назад +5

      I grew up thinking my Spanish to was perfect, and better than any of my cousins, until I started using it a professional context. Umm, no mijo.

  • @gpoetx
    @gpoetx 2 года назад +166

    Honestly Netflix should give you a special

  • @rachelaimeemateya2676
    @rachelaimeemateya2676 2 года назад +197

    I cannot describe how frequently I busted out into full blown belly laughs while in a crowded nail salon. You're incredible

  • @ZAjosh
    @ZAjosh 2 года назад +114

    "Not like cats where everyone looks like they have Hep C" made me spit out my coffee.

    • @jessicapaxton2502
      @jessicapaxton2502 Месяц назад

      The cackle that came outta me when he said that 😂😂😂

  • @wabisabi7755
    @wabisabi7755 2 года назад +40

    I like how you touched the sparkly thing despite the Do Not Touch sign. I stan an unbothered queen. 😂

  • @matrix2297
    @matrix2297 2 года назад +128

    The effortless charisma and wit is Matteo's way of letting everyone know, "You ain't never had a friend like me".

  • @evelynmmm
    @evelynmmm 2 года назад +64

    The Italian accent when you speak Spanish! I love it.

  • @watchparty-iz2ms
    @watchparty-iz2ms 2 года назад +58

    I would’ve loved to have known what was going through that man’s head who was standing right behind Matteo when he said he was gonna bring the Boba Fett mask to a sex party 🤣

  • @justinchristian3374
    @justinchristian3374 2 года назад +52

    I’ve been binging on Matteo all month….He is so naturally funny!

  • @hunterpall9498
    @hunterpall9498 2 года назад +17

    The guy turned directly towards the camera listening in on what he was saying during the second mask he would “walk into the sex party wearing” had me weak.

    • @The_Crucible714
      @The_Crucible714 3 дня назад

      5:05 Nothing he hasn’t heard before I’m sure! 😂

  • @BayuSeta
    @BayuSeta 2 года назад +42

    do this at every city you're touring in Matteo! love it!

  • @els1f
    @els1f 2 года назад +14

    The thing about there being no more baritones in Broadway is SO TRUE!

  • @mollyfletcher7746
    @mollyfletcher7746 2 года назад +20

    Honestly this is the best, it's like walking around the mall with a friend.

    • @em0_tion
      @em0_tion 2 года назад +2

      Yeah, but NONE of my friends are this incredibly hilarious! 😂

  • @tiffanyd.8489
    @tiffanyd.8489 2 года назад +11

    I lost it at the Sailor Moon reference because thats exactly what I thought when he picked it up. But I specifically remember Usagi saying "oh Darien!" in the voice Mateo made. I just feel seen lmfao

  • @Sew_OzzyWar_Made_This
    @Sew_OzzyWar_Made_This 2 года назад +40

    This was fucking hilarious and great. As a native New Yorker (from the city! Big difference people), I needed this roast of time square. We all need this. 👏🏽😂

  • @burtonkrichard8898
    @burtonkrichard8898 2 года назад +21

    That M&M wall is a dangerous game when your 16. I spent $50 accidentally. Ate none of it. Cause I forgot about them in my hotel room. Field trips for kids ya know. Also love the Frankie grande slander. Keep it coming.

  • @andreeabianca318
    @andreeabianca318 2 года назад +25

    The fact that the mango was the best part confirms Matteo as my spirit animal. The best mask/helmet for him is an apolonian warm metal one, with crystaline feathers around the eyes. Hawkgirl style, "Emily Ratajkowski 2019 met gala"-esque. Change my mind.

  • @geostyma
    @geostyma 2 года назад +13

    He speaks Spanish with an Italian accent xD

  • @Nicolas20205
    @Nicolas20205 2 года назад +11

    Matteo speaking Spanish just made him the sexiest gay guy I've ever met thanks to Instagram.

  • @tikettle
    @tikettle 2 года назад +9

    Mateo: “who the hell is getting almond m&m’s??” Guy in grey shirt: “…”

  • @friedcatfood
    @friedcatfood 2 года назад +22

    Dude, as a native speaker, your spanish was pretty good :) You speak spanish with an italian accent and I speak italian with a spanish accent lol

  • @glooperscooper
    @glooperscooper 2 года назад +9

    Matteo: I'm such a Chicago Stan
    *eats a hotdog with JUST ketchup"

    • @aprilschauers112
      @aprilschauers112 2 года назад +6

      The cheek, the nerve, the audacity, the gall and the gumption!

  • @BruthaB100
    @BruthaB100 2 года назад +12

    I love your sasss and sarcasm! Always good vibes with you Matteo. Can't wait for your next comedy special 👍🏽

  • @sandrafilippelli6476
    @sandrafilippelli6476 2 года назад +9

    Ugh! I freakin adore you Matteo. Everything you do is so entertaining. Please keep the content coming!

  • @Victoria-po2xj
    @Victoria-po2xj 2 года назад +7

    Hilarious as usual, but when you started talking about Sailor Moon that was the icing on the cake of how awesome you are 🌙✨

  • @ic7353
    @ic7353 2 года назад +4

    Dude you are too funny. Netflix please give this man a special!

  • @bshap7107
    @bshap7107 2 года назад +45

    I NEED to see Matteo entering a sex party with a Zerg helmet on 😂😂

    • @augusts1
      @augusts1 2 года назад +1

      Most sex parties do not allow cameras/phones to record at their event.for privacy reasons. So good luck w/that lol.

    • @derekpearce4987
      @derekpearce4987 2 года назад

      "...you know how much dick I would get?" I just got told off for waking up my BF screaming with laughter at that.

  • @karmallama7957
    @karmallama7957 2 года назад +2

    I live under a rock and discovered you today. Been belly laughing all day, Thank you !

  • @nathalianunez6692
    @nathalianunez6692 2 года назад +10

    Me emocioné mucho cuando Matteo comenzó a hablar en español 😭 pero al mismo tiempo, me dio mucha risa por su acento italiano

  • @myboibill
    @myboibill 2 года назад +8

    The license plate that says “Mateo” is still being made at Attica. The boys would like you to go up with John for a fitting.

  • @SchwarzBass
    @SchwarzBass 2 года назад +15

    you're so right about broadway voices and the lack of lower voice colors! You should post more of you really singing!

    • @yoyodre
      @yoyodre 2 года назад +1

      I listened to the new Broadway recording of my favorite show, Caroline, or Change. And i kept thinking this has no darkness in the low notes.

  • @k.s.thompson5766
    @k.s.thompson5766 2 года назад +10

    Fellow Maleficent fan here and yes, Disney really dropped all the balls with her. Two movies and this is STILL happening?

  • @Joe1339
    @Joe1339 2 года назад +4

    I’m surprised but I shouldn’t be that Matteo sounds like an Italian speaking Spanish.

  • @alejandromendoza9554
    @alejandromendoza9554 2 года назад +1

    Mango con tajin, Best part!!! Amo tus videos Mateo.

  • @willmerm6165
    @willmerm6165 2 года назад +4

    Hmm, I guess it's time to tell off Netflix. I'm personally offended that they haven't offered/given you a special. At least, I got to see you live in Miami. That was a blast! Thank you for the gut busting laughs.

  • @JDMimeTHEFIRST
    @JDMimeTHEFIRST 2 года назад +12

    Ursula is the best. She did exactly what she said she would and yet everyone got upset about it. She’s just teaching Ariel how to be a feminist. Don’t give up your voice and unique body for a man, girl.

  • @emperial4421
    @emperial4421 Год назад +1

    2:33 I’m ashamed as a Chicagoan you ordered ketchup on ur hotdog

  • @karacool69
    @karacool69 2 года назад +1

    Omg but the Simpson's reference! And the Sailor Moon!! Omg were meant to be friends!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @mlucier32
    @mlucier32 2 года назад +3

    "Not like Cats where they all look like they have Hep C." 🤣🤣🤣

  • @TischTosh
    @TischTosh 2 года назад

    "Ok, no shade but....vanilla ice cream cone.....that's a low point" ....is shade, no? 😆 🤣

  • @Sishel
    @Sishel 2 года назад +2

    “Mexican heaven” lol! I feel so seen right now, mango with chile Tajin was my favorite after school snack growing up.

  • @heavenlyhashbrown1
    @heavenlyhashbrown1 2 года назад +7

    Please go to LA and collab with Miss Coco Peru. I feel like you two would really get along lol

  • @Alex90680
    @Alex90680 Год назад +1

    Matteo needs a Versus series; him versus these places he roasts ❤️ Travel Channel series 🔥

  • @MrDiscoDavo
    @MrDiscoDavo 2 года назад +3

    Sharp, witty, hilarious and adorable.
    Beats any m&m combo.
    I’m bordering on stalker obsessed.
    😋

  • @FranciscoP38
    @FranciscoP38 2 года назад +5

    Matteo, I love you! Netflix must give you a special, period. We should start a petition! ❤️

  • @The_Legend_0-0-7
    @The_Legend_0-0-7 7 месяцев назад

    Love the roast series and the new stuff ,great work

  • @PawshankRedemption
    @PawshankRedemption Год назад

    Oh my absolute!! You just brought me right back to New York! Love this!! ❤️❤️🐩

  • @YosefK
    @YosefK 2 года назад +10

    finally!!!!! someone who does only ketchup on their hotdog and only cheese on their burger! we are a beautiful but dying breed

    • @greggi47
      @greggi47 8 месяцев назад

      Perhaps dying because of that abominable ketchup condiment choice. Ketchup belongs on burgers. It's somewhere in Leviticus, I think.

    • @36993020
      @36993020 3 месяца назад

      Only in America where people identify themselves based on condiments on a fast food.

  • @MrJohnunico
    @MrJohnunico 2 года назад +1

    Lol i cant with u, too funny. U remember me of (Miss Coco Peru) type of vibe, like when she goes around and roast places/ stuff etc.... She makes me laugh as well. =D

  • @stacjaemigracja
    @stacjaemigracja 2 года назад

    The green M&M joke killed me. She is working in a library now hahahaahh…

  • @damnimloomin
    @damnimloomin 7 месяцев назад +1

    Yes Matteo should be the new naked cowboy 💀

    • @The_Crucible714
      @The_Crucible714 3 дня назад

      That’s a “blast from the past” for me!💀😂

  • @audreynelson3997
    @audreynelson3997 Год назад +1

    “The slutty m&m” is my drag name

  • @alfredoruiz7562
    @alfredoruiz7562 2 года назад +12

    Spanish with a heavy Italian accent

    • @matteolanecomedy
      @matteolanecomedy  2 года назад +5

      Hahaha I know. I’m sorry

    • @ladosis5596
      @ladosis5596 2 года назад +2

      @@matteolanecomedy don't be! Is very charming

    • @ejgonzal13
      @ejgonzal13 2 года назад +1

      hahaha I enjoyed the Italian Spanish

    • @alfredoruiz7562
      @alfredoruiz7562 2 года назад +2

      @@matteolanecomedy All good. It's like my name-Spanish with a heavy Italian accent!

    • @UniMagik
      @UniMagik 2 года назад

      ICONIC TBH

  • @acutierolls
    @acutierolls 2 года назад +1

    2:50 Attn: Ted Sarandos, Netflix Content Heads, et. al.:
    GIVE! MATTEO! A! SPECIAL!

  • @nomanshigh3058
    @nomanshigh3058 2 года назад +1

    I learned who Frankie Grande was yesterday. Now I'm here.

  • @kambermusic
    @kambermusic 2 года назад

    Just stumbled upon Matteo on my RUclips recommended - he’s fluent in multiple languages, I adore his Chicago accent, he’s effing hilarious, and hot as hell
    I’m dying over here

  • @rah62
    @rah62 2 года назад +3

    4:55 RIP legendary comedienne Pat Carroll, who just died - she voiced Ursula.

  • @Ophelia_Pain
    @Ophelia_Pain Год назад

    Metteo Lane deserves, everything!!
    He deserves his own show!!!

  • @morganpalmer5143
    @morganpalmer5143 2 года назад +2

    Netflix, give this man a special!

  • @nomanshigh3058
    @nomanshigh3058 2 года назад

    Clips bought me here. Now I want that special. NETFLIX LOOKING AT YOU

  • @Mooser2
    @Mooser2 2 года назад

    Yoooo im so glad youtube shorts recommend me your channel you are hilarious

  • @gabrielsj365
    @gabrielsj365 2 года назад +1

    All these bulls are bottoming 😂😂😂

  • @BrooklinnGorrlll
    @BrooklinnGorrlll Месяц назад

    6:58 I love that you referenced to Oklahoma because nobody ever does and that’s where I was born and raised. Oklahoma City.

  • @jamestnov41945
    @jamestnov41945 2 года назад +1

    Matteo I was in Times Square in 1980 wonderful place to people watch. Memory serves there were no food vendors allowed. Thank you for the update tour.

  • @riocunningham9823
    @riocunningham9823 2 года назад

    "..and i dont know whyyyy" hahahahahahah

  • @gandfgandf5826
    @gandfgandf5826 2 года назад +1

    "Gay squirrels love NY". There's a NYC tourism slogan

  • @RealmOfUnknown
    @RealmOfUnknown 2 года назад

    I normally watch your shorts. But now all I get are thumbnails of your flexing while on podcasts 🤣. But definitely glad I found your content, always fun

  • @TPark-rf3lt
    @TPark-rf3lt 5 месяцев назад

    6:42 my favorite baritone has always been Howard Keel in "Kiss Me Kate" and yes.... bring the baritone back!

  • @haleyeahguccimama
    @haleyeahguccimama 2 года назад +5

    Fighting evil with moonlight
    Winning love by daylight
    Never running from a street fight
    She is the one named Sailor Moon!

  • @gripp9k
    @gripp9k 2 года назад

    Jean shorts were a choice :) love your stuff man!

  • @nigeltay7546
    @nigeltay7546 2 года назад

    Okay the way they semi-planned the last shot, the reflection in puddle is actually beautiful

  • @stanislavsd
    @stanislavsd 2 года назад

    Guy is a natural, just killin it!

  • @michellegermaine2942
    @michellegermaine2942 2 года назад +1

    Netflix give this man a special!!!

  • @joannap8769
    @joannap8769 2 года назад

    The gasp for the pretzel M&Ms 😂😂😂

  • @greggi47
    @greggi47 8 месяцев назад +1

    It must have been much more interesting a worthwhile before the sleaze was "cleaned up', I read Samuel Delaney's book Times Square Red, Times Square Blue and have a secondhand sense of the humanity of the old setup.

    • @The_Crucible714
      @The_Crucible714 3 дня назад

      OMG! It was CRAZY back before it was “sanitized.” My first job in publishing was on 43rd St just off 8th Ave, right around the corner from the Adonis (gay) theater.

  • @MaraStephenson
    @MaraStephenson 2 года назад +2

    I love it Matteo!

  • @rygregory
    @rygregory Год назад +1

    Oh man, that mango is delish! Mexican fruit stands are pretty common here in California.

    • @The_Crucible714
      @The_Crucible714 3 дня назад

      They do have fruit stands in NYC. I think many more are owned by Asians here. The Mexican food in LA SLAPS (but the Italian food is better in NY.)

  • @thisjustin95
    @thisjustin95 2 года назад

    The gasp following the, "they have pretzel m&m's?". Are they still your friend?!

  • @shawncola123
    @shawncola123 2 года назад +4

    Almond and chocolate is an iconic duo, much better than peanut

  • @sheenasolero
    @sheenasolero Год назад

    Thanks for the tour!😊

  • @dividedpersona
    @dividedpersona 2 года назад

    We need more Mateos in the world to bring balance to the force.

  • @IVallejo920
    @IVallejo920 8 месяцев назад

    Hey now! My name is ISABEL! LOLOLOL!!!! I was surprised by the tone he said my name. Like a bit of shock and disappointment or something. Haha!

  • @adriandiaz8149
    @adriandiaz8149 2 года назад +2

    You have to love the mango with Tajín!!

  • @aprildawnsunshine4326
    @aprildawnsunshine4326 Год назад

    😂 I love you went for peanut butter first! I'm literally eating them right now! Also, peanut m&ms is considered the healthiest of all candy apparently 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @audreynelson3997
    @audreynelson3997 3 месяца назад

    “Let’s check it out but I can’t wait to leave”

  • @tatertots2395
    @tatertots2395 2 года назад +1

    Need more of these! And maybe bring some guests along like Schulzy

  • @rachelw1076
    @rachelw1076 2 года назад +1

    "I'm a Chicago stan..." ☆proceeds to order ketchup on a hot dog☆ 🤔

  • @lifewriter7455
    @lifewriter7455 2 года назад

    6:50 This voice... 7:20 That walk! 😃👍🖤

  • @QueenOfAloha
    @QueenOfAloha Год назад +1

    1:20 yass gay gasp

  • @RandoPersona
    @RandoPersona Год назад +1

    I have a slutty green M&M mug 😂😂 haha

  • @TinyEpics
    @TinyEpics 2 года назад

    The gay gasp at 1:21 about Matteo having not tried pretzel M&Ms.

  • @alexwallace6120
    @alexwallace6120 2 года назад

    Fantastic! I love all the comments when you were shopping! I really would love to see you in a Netflicks or other major network special .I hope all is well with your stand-up and life in general.

  • @mattfortune8116
    @mattfortune8116 2 года назад +1

    Yes finally someone notices...where are all the baritones! We need more bari songs!!!

  • @TheFullmetal88m
    @TheFullmetal88m 2 года назад +7

    "we have enough problems, we can't be adding chocolate cake to cheese cake" 😂

  • @jdm8532
    @jdm8532 2 года назад

    Love this!!!

  • @Liz-in8lu
    @Liz-in8lu 2 года назад

    Oh my god you are hilarious and very on point!!

  • @panthercat38
    @panthercat38 2 года назад

    The price hikes of Netflix, but we can't get this gem A SPECIAL???

  • @jacquelinelabovitz4613
    @jacquelinelabovitz4613 2 года назад

    You are my favorite. Please keep doing you and bringing the world joy

  • @ij1373
    @ij1373 2 года назад

    Omg I heard you inhale sign and thought you’d be perfect for a Bird Cage reboot! Pleeeeeease do it!💜💜💜💜