Mother-In-Law Problems? Here's What You NEED To Know!
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- Опубликовано: 16 сен 2024
- Did you know that OVER HALF of the couples in the United States have mother-in-law problems? If you are one of these couples, you are most likely are very aware of how this situation can negatively impact your relationship and become a huge problem in your marriage if you don't figure out how to deal with this now.
It's super common for mother-in-laws to overstep their boundaries and say things that cause you to get frustrated, hurt, sad, or angry. So it's extremely important to know how to handle this type of a situation when it arises. Fortunately, there are many solutions to figuring out how to deal with a difficult mother-in-law.
Here are 5 EFFECTIVE TIPS you can use:
1. Let your spouse talk to her
If you bring up issues directly with your mother in-law, you are automatically going to be the "bad guy" and will get blamed for things. That will only create more friction between you and her. It's best that your spouse address any issues you have directly to her. This shows a united front between you and your spouse.
2. Have a family discussion (if you feel the need).
If you want to speak your mind and address the issues directly with your MIL, then you can have a family discussion after your spouse talks to her first. If you choose to have a family discussion, remember to stay calm and be respectful. Don't engage in anger outbursts.
3. Establish healthy boundaries
If your spouse doesn’t help you set boundaries between your mother in-law and your marriage, then there is always going to be conflict and stress. It's really important that your significant other learn to establish boundaries in a healthy way.
4. Assess when it's necessary to say something
Assess when it's important to say something. On a scale from 1-10, if the issue is over a 5, then I think it's important enough to bring up and address. If it's under a 5, then it's not worth mentioning. You have to pick and choose your battles, and it's going to be exhausting mentioning every little annoyance or frustration you have. If the issue is under a 5, there are self-care techniques you can do to let it go.
5. Don't give your power away
When we get mad and yell, and say things that go against who we want to be and how we want to act, we give our power away. Do your best to stay neutral and kind during interactions. We give away our power by getting mad.
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Ladies - Mums out there - you have children that will grow up and have partners / spouses - you will become a MIL - it’s a hard role! As one myself I realise that WE NEED to be great mother in laws and FRIENDS of the relationship - love your child’s partner !!
That’s my issue, my mom doesn’t show love to wife. In comparison to my sister in law.
Why is it considered okay and easy for a woman to leave her family to live with in-laws but if son wants to move out it's the end of the world ? 😖😖🙄🙄🤔🤔
Dude this comment tho!
Yeah thats brutal
Forgive me. But I feel your pain. I know hearts get involved. But it's always ok to be single and live your life how you wish. I hate in-laws. Im sorry to tell you that it will be a struggle. If you have no kids---your lucky--run to the hills. But since you might have a couple in your flock. Save what you can. Go to food banks and get out. Trust me. Youl feel so much better. You can laugh at me---but your life depends on it. Your children are used to the inlaws. They have no qualms about it-(blood). But you get your internal medicine quickly
I totally don't understand that, why some mother wants to make life hell for her daughter in law
I get "you're taking my son away" when we are married and she sees him atleast 3 times a week as opposed to me seeing my family only on holidays.
It sounds like the rationale side of her is missing, and that can be an uphill battle to climb.
Exactly the same thing here with my mother in law.
And my family leaves in another country, but that is “ok”, because was my choice to married her son🤦🏻♀️🙄
It is the mother in- laws problem to let go of her son. Cut the umbilical cord. You are not the villain. You are the one that makes her little baby into a man by asking him to step up and be a team with you first. Mommy comes second now.
Occasionally, my mil throws a fit and complains to her son that her bf doesn't take her out much and why doesn't he, her son, ever take her out. That he's 'always out doing god knows what out there in the streets'. Never mind the fact that he is spending time with me and his son and handling our business together. She cannot fathom anything else. Oh no! He did tell her that she needs to take it up with her bf if she's having that issue bc he cannot help her in that dept and she cannot seriously expect him to stick around waiting for her to come home. ----yes she lives here too and that's a whole story in itself bc she was not in our plans.
Yep same here
I’m struggling with teaching my husband how to see this. He doesn’t seem to understand my perception, so I feel like I am fighting her and him. I don’t want to make him do something he doesn’t believe in, or see worthy, but that breaks my heart to think he doesn’t stand up for me. HELPPP! :( I want him to realize this on his own, that’s when there’s growth, not when someone forces us to do some thing just to do it.
Monica Dias exactly what I’m going through it’s annoying
Yes, same here!
Exactly how I feel. I am thinking about divorce because I am sooo tired. My husband told me he will never let his family down. He is in love with his mother. I can only loose. Now they crashed our holidays, because they planned a Golf Weekend but I refused to join. Now I spend my holidays at my parents house, with 37 years. 🙄
If you women being treated as an outsider by your in laws for more than 2 years, what makes you think they will treat you as a family member in the future? Chances are NO they won't. I'm also that DIL with evil MIL and SIL.
Distance yourselves to them. Never go on vacation and holidays with them. Focus on your children and your family instead. Stay out of toxic people its a limited life.
My MIL is a narcissist and craves attention. She is so desperate and thirsty for any cheap attention and validation that she can get weather it's positive or negative. My husband is constantly over at her house and we never get to spend anytime together.
I feel your pain
AbsoluteMdot make it a point to go out and meet ur friends and family when he is at home . He will realise time is valuable
Omg I thought it was just me 😔
I feel guilty if I laugh with him when she’s around
The tidbit about always going through your spouse is GOLD. Bc no matter how you approach the MIL, whether your SO is around or not, you will be perceived as the problem. Especially if things are rocky, she can say you were rude or disrespectful or she can push your buttons and force you to act out of character. Thank you so much, I will not allow my boyfriends mother to come between us!
I had to learn this the hard way
MIL when we told her that I'm pregnant she told us to go and get an abortion. We were living on our house, had a small bussines, we were on our own. She even forced me to go with her to the doctor for an abortion and I followed her, but when the doctor showed me the baby in my belly and heared his heart beat I was done... I stood for myself and I informed her that my child will be born. They doesn't love my son because he is so me: eyes, face, skin colour, hair.
They made my life a living hell. I cut them off.
omg this happened to me too 7 years ago I was naive and young I trusted everything they said and did I had an abortion and later on my second pregnancy I could clearly see they weren't happy and now I can see they truly don't love my son but I don't care anymore I just started to distance myself
She needs so go 🪦
run from her
So glad I found your page. Mother in law and sister in law got angry and verbally abusive when we Got married in 3 months instead of waiting the original year. They insisted on an apology. We're in our forties and have been together 9 years. Luckily hubby supports my final decision to cut ties on my end.
My MIL is bi-polar and a narcissist. She refuses to take any medication. She is ignoring the boundaries and we have decided to do “no communication” at this time. Man has it been peaceful! Our marriage is doing better, my husband isn’t hounded by her everyday so he’s happier.
I'm sure it is very peaceful now. "No communicaction" is the firm boundary you two had to set. I'm so happy to hear your marriage is improving...that is wonderful news. Thank you so much for sharing.
My future mil is suppose to be taking her meds but then she won’t and especially treats me poorly and ruined what was suppose to be a fun and happiest times of my life
::standing ovation::
. . . 👏👏👏👏
**NOTE: Congratulations! I'm glad you gave the old b!tch the boot! 🥾💥 NOTHING is worth your safety and peace of mind.
I honestly had no idea when I married my husband that I would be marrying mother in law as well. They came as a packaged deal. I cut her out of my life 4 years ago and she’s cut me out as well because I felt controlled by her. She
would cry to my husband if I forgot to wish her happy Mother’s Day, she tried to take my husband phone to read the texts message between my husband and I, she would post about me on Facebook, and tell me what to do even if I clearly expressed I was uncomfortable with her behaviors towards me. I am working on forgiving and hope to reconcile with her but that’s not going to happen right now. Even after four years she’s still telling people I’m abusive and I took her son away from her. It’s incredibly hard forgiving her but I have to for my own peace. I do cry about this frequently because it sucks not having a relationship with my in laws but I need to protect my marriage and myself
When I was pregnant with my second child, we went to go meet my in-laws for for dinner one night. As I took my coat off, my mil blurts out “Wow are you pregnant or are you just fat?!” In front of everyone. I was so shocked and embarrassed! She says mean things like this all the time but says she’s just joking but that really cut deep. Sometimes she’s super nice and will take me out shopping and buy me anything I want and we’ll actually have a nice time and connect. I’ve read up on covert narcissist and I personally think she fits the bill.
I think I would use her same weapons. Maybe a little sarcasm?! Like after her inappropriate comment :" Oh I just love to eat. Thanks for noticing!" and act like it does not hurt you. I think this is a clever way of calling her out and winning. Hope your husband said something. What a horrible comment to make.
She uses shopping to make herself feel better buying you stuff makes her feel dominant she uses money to show she is more powerful not that she is being kind avoid any favours from her
@@Wish1954 I totally agree with you . Buying u things is a form of manipulation. It’s gives her power and validation to continue with this type of toxic behaviour.... never ever take anything of a toxic person it’s only going to be thrown back in you’re face ! stay mindful
My future mother in law and I quote said “stupid ass wedding” referring to her sons Rn is plans in front of his neighbors more than once and so many other things. Glad my moms is sanr
Carrot and stick, bait and switch. All those gifts come with emotional strings attached…
This is so helpful. I am struggling with an over-stepping mother-in-law and with Covid, it's very heightened. Boundaries are key!
I’ve addressed her. Hes addressed her. She just plays victim and tries to turn it around on me 🙃
That is very true...
If it was me, I would go no contact, it’s not worth your marriage and the peace,if your husband does not stand up and protect you from the narcissist MIL ,it will not stop😔
What if mother in law is controlling your husband to a point you as a wife you don't have a say in any way
That is obviously not a good situation. You two need to be a team and come together as a partnership, showing alliance. If you don't have that, that will cause a ton of issues and tension within your relationship.
We dealt with this for 15 years with his mom and sister. I was constantly just defeated. I came to my breaking point 2 years ago and just told him I was done with his family and that was that. He started realizing how toxic they had been to our relationship and things are much different now, in a good way. I’ve cut them out of my life and they make no effort to see our kids so it’s really no loss
Mamalobaugh congrats! How u can keep them “stay away from your kids”?. I have Problem with my futures husband too. Before i always endured, but now i stand up and dont let her talk what she wants:))) and keep distance. But my husband is dependent on her. He needs her help (he has no friends). I have tons of friends and if i need help, i ask the other, not her. I dont need her like me. Personally i dont like her.. I just ask myself, if i have kids later, how can i make distance between my kids and her. Because i know, she will talk bad abt me.
@@kathynguyen8491 She has never wanted to be around our kids much so that hasn’t been too bad. My husband will go over there with the kids if other family members are there but that’s not very often.
Mother / Son Enmeshment
***can you please do a video about when or if it is necessary to cut family out of your life? Maybe not always completely. I love your advice. Thank you!
I officially put it on my list :) Thank you for the recommendation. xo
Good luck dealing with your spouse if there’s enmeshment and emotional incest in the family. That’s a whole issue to break through before even attempting to deal with the mother in law.
Very true, indeed..
Great advice
My mil has problems with her marriage & self esteem which she then takes out anger towards me & questioning me about how I care for my child & husband, but when my husband says she needs to respect me as his wife mother our child & as a woman she says that I am the problem, so basically never takes fault for any of her actions 😭😭😭😫
My MIL really just doesn’t know boundaries at aaaalllllll. I’m 21 and me and her son has been together for about 3 years. And in the beginning I had an amazing relationship with her. I’m the type of person that gets along with everyone and am really good at building relationships with people. I feel like what went wrong was that her insecurities got the best of her. Her relationship with her husband is extremely toxic and it’s clear she is not happy at where she is in her life. So as time continued to go on and everyone else in my boyfriends family started getting closer and closer with me, I feel like she started getting jealous or insecure. She only had 2 boys, so she was the only girl for a really long time in the house. So as he insecurities grew so did the shade, the fakeness, and controlling side of her. It really sucks it has gotten to this point. I’ve tried talking to her about things and the conversation will go good but then it just continues.
I’m in the same situation I’m 22 my boyfriend has an older brother but it seems as if she o my cares about my boyfriend she has to be the center of attention and anytime I’m with my boyfriend she calls I’m heavy on respect so what should I do I’m so close to just losing it
I've been with my partner for over 3 years now and there have been a lot of incidences (too many to list here but I've wrote them down in a book) all of which were meant to belittle and undermine me or us as a couple. My sister-in-law is just as bad if not worse. Now we've got a baby and my MIL keeps pressuring me to do things that her daughter does for her kids that I don't agree with. My partner has set boundaries in the past like telling MIL she can't let herself into our house uninvited, but because she cant do that anymore she drives past our house instead "on her way to work" but she has to go out of her way to do this; we're not living on a main road. Throughout all incidents though where my MIL and SIL have said things in front of my partner or what I've told him they've said or done behind his back which have hurt me he's just let them carry on which causes arguments between us, he says he see's it but he doesn't. He let me sit there and defend our way of wanting to raise our baby without saying a word when MIL and FIL criticised it. My partner just sat back and I had to do it all on my own with no back up. I hate them all, I truly do. They've been the cause of arguments over the years and sometimes I wish I'd have left my partner when I had the chance because now it's worse with baby to think about. I sometimes feel the urge to end my life. I'm not a bad mum or a bad person but they're turning me into a defensive character and it's gotten worse.
I feel your pain. I met my husband through his sister. His sister and I were friends for about 9 months and they were fun because we use to go out alot. When she introduced me to her brother we just hit it off. Fell in love and it's there where I didnt realize what a brat my SIL was. She hated me dating him. Made a list of why he shouldn't date me. Used family illnesses as 1 of the reasons and other one is the neighborhood where I grew up. I was good enough to party with her but not good enough to date her brother. I cared for her so much. She gave us an ultimatum. Did and said the nastiest things to me that even my own family was suprised that I was allowing all this to happened. His mom didn't help either. She allowed people (grandma, sister, her now husband) speak to my husband and I in such a way that it drove me crazy and was depressed because my husband couldnt stand up to them. I resented him for so long. I wasn't happy. We got pregnant and it continued. My husband said that he grew up not knowing that this wasn't normal until he met my family. We separated for about 1yr. It's there where he just woke up and stood up to them. We are going on 14yrs together with a 11yr old and 6yr old. No contact with my SIL for about 9yrs now and almost 5yrs with my MIL. Honestly it's been the best for our relationship and our little family. I feel for him because he doesn't have a relationship with anyone and he is such a sweet and kind person. Just recently his mom is trying to get back into our lives but we are having a hard time cuz she said she has done nothing wrong to deserve us not having her in our lives. Takes no responsibility. Doesn't see what she allowed to happened affected her son and I. She said sorry for how "we felt" but not really sorry for letting it happened. There's still no change. What gets me is that my MILs family keeps telling us to look past her flaws and just let her back into our lives. That family is family regardless if they are toxic. NOPE NOT HAPPENING!!! I hope you things work out for you.
bella8lopez I'm so happy to hear that you two both worked things out for yourselves and your children because ultimately, your children need you both. I think the same of my partner, he's so lovely and kind and I think that's why the way in which his sister and mother behave is unrelenting; I've heard his mother speak to his Auntie that "she's losing her son". MIL has told me that I don't earn enough and we should go to her for financial help, she said this without my partner present and I remember being taken aback and feeling worthless to my partner. She uses the death of his other Auntie, who died a few years before I met him god bless her, as another way to excuse her behaviour towards us; how she can use this as an excuse as to why she opened his letter that was delivered to her house is beyond me. She'll use SIL to manipulate him too by saying MIL is really suffering and we should both be more kind to her and by being the way we are is affecting MIL (setting boundaries to give us space for our relationship without the detriment of them not seeing my partner), she''s only been "suffering" since boundaries were set. MIL criticises SIL's house, that she doesn't clean up and has mould in the bathroom that my partner should sort out for his sister for the sake of his nephews health...
SIL, 2 years ago, made out that I was preventing my partner from seeing her family on Christmas Eve; there was no prearranged plans that were mentioned closer to the time (only ones which were set in January that same year which we obviously forgotten about), we were on our way down and when we called her on hands-free, she implied that i was preventing my partner from seeing his nephews (one who was a 3 months old baby and a 2 year old) and she said that it's not fair to be honest and he's letting them down" because we were planning on going to surprise them in the morning, afternoon we'd spend with my family as my brother was home from uni. She didn't want to hear Scott grovelling to her that he'd FaceTime them as that wasn't good enough for her or his nephews. It made me feel rotten and angry that she'd make out that I would deny my partner of seeing his nephews, I said my peace on the phone which she rebuffed and put the phone down. Another argument between my partner and I ensued and I said he should go to see them but I won't be going. Since then we've had Christmases with our own families. These are just a few examples by the way and each have made me contemplate leaving my partner. Now we've got our baby and I dread seeing them because they push their ways down our throats, both SIL and MIL/Hint of FIL even after me and my partner have told them already how we wish to raise our baby. He proposed to me once baby arrived, I've since taken my ring off because it means nothing if he doesn't stand by me. By the way, he gushed telling his sister and mother (as anybody would) but they then his mother was like "I can buy a new dress now!" And his sister was pretty much trying to plan the day. I've been contemplating taking my life to get away from them so as to not see my partner and my baby get wrapped up in their web whilst I'm trying to fight for us on my own, I've then thought about being a single Mum to get away from them but I know financially I can't do it on my own but I think this will be the only way it will sink in for him just how badly they're making me feel. They're very manipulative, cold people who just want to keep within their own. MIL criticises my dad for "showboating" and my mum is "too much of a friend [to me, her own daughter]" when we have gatherings at our house. I've been ignored by SIL at gatherings at our house, been purposefully alienated in my own home by them and they've thanked my partner for the day/night never me whose out just as much effort as my partner as I've bought and made the food for such events and helped to set the decorations/lights up etc but still I get nothing. Even last New Years when I was pregnant I was ignored by SIL until my family arrived. I used to hide in the kitchen and pretend to be busy to hide away in my own home because of the way they made me feel. My dad noticed and gave me a big hug. It's an overwhelming experience having a baby anyway, but added to the already overbearing in-laws and it's a recipe which is causing me to question my life choices and to ponder on some big decisions. Thank you for your insight to how your in laws have affected you, it's nice to feel like I'm not the only one that's going through this and it's even better to hear that there is hope in overcoming it after hearing your story. Thank you for your comment. X
Also, Watching this video and reading other comments have also helped me too. It's nice to find a place to express myself openly ❤️
Soz how are you doing now? Are you okay? I am in the same situation but I know you can get out and have better relationships in your life. I am praying for you now.
I feel like there is 0 hope with my my MIL. She won’t even set boundaries with her own son. She’s always the victim and she’s always insensitive about his feelings. So she could care less about mine..
We moved away from both of our families two years ago due to the toxic environment of both of our families. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for the past 5 years. This weekend my MIL called my husband upset and told him to leave me as I can’t give him any children and to do it for himself as I’m just using him for his money(even though I have a degree and work for the government). My husband didn’t say anything to her as she disconnected the call after her rant. I didn’t say anything to her as I didn’t want to give her a reason to play the victim. It truly hurt me and I can’t seem to get over what she said. What else can I say or do to not allow her to continue these hateful attacks on me?
Hi Sandra. I'm so sorry you had to hear those very hurtful words towards you...that is not fair and quite cruel. Unfortunately, you can't control what she says or doesn't say about you, but you can control if you choose to listen to her or not. I think a good start would be for your husband to set the boundary with his mom by telling her that he's not going to entertain a conversation with her if she talks negatively about you. A boundary should be set around that, because it's not right to sit there and have to listen to hurtful comments like that.
Kristin Coaching thank you for replying back. I will speak to my husband regarding setting boundaries.
Awesome, please let me know how it goes!
My son and his wife were not able to conceive for 3 different, (combined) reasons. 2 due to physical issues my daughter in law suffers. 1 due to an issue my son suffers. IVF failed. Your mil seems stupid to blame and accuse without any idea of why you and your husband haven't yet conceived. Not that it is or ever will be her business.
Thank you!!!!! But you know, if we talk calmly, she doesn’t let you a chance to talk 🤣🤣🤣
My mother in law has my husband rapped around his finger he sees no wrong in her actions, even if it's happening right under his nose, he always takes her side and tells me that I need to work it out with her. I've tried but the woman is literally nuts and she brings out the worst in me. She's steadily disrespecting me on a daily every time we have a conversation. She belittles me, she does things that she knows I don't agree with but she continues to do it. She's very Petty, and difficult. It's gotten so bad to the point where I want to in my relationship with my partner. We have a kid together and I don't want his toxic feeling rubbing off on my daughter
As a mother in law here I would just like to share what it feels like from my end. We as moms have the wonderful blessing to raise these men/women and we take this responsibility with great love and happiness. We have hopes and dreams for our children. My son and I were always very close and shared a lot of laughs, we had talks about his future and I was there for him. He met the ONE and slowly I felt him slipping away and it hurt because I thought he stopped loving me, stopped needing me and I felt like I was let go of the most important ,best job in the world..raising my son. I was lost and I was very sad.
My son just got married and I see the love in their eyes and in their actions and they are perfect for each other. My daughter in law and I get along fine but we are not as close as I would like to be. I am working on that the best that I can.I truly do not intervene in their lives and I hold off on sending texts to them and just letting them be.. I am making a conscious effort to let them live their lives but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss my son and miss the role I used to play. It's very hard ,so daughter in laws please TRY to understand what we as moms are going through We are essentially letting our sons go and that is very,very hard and we are struggling so please give us grace and please be patient. I know his relationship with you is and should be the most important one in his life but we are stepping down from our role and like I said it's tough!! VERY tough!!
Mutual respect, mutual understanding, see each other's points of views and just seeing all the good in each other will go miles. We do have at least one very important thing in common....my son/your husband Good luck everyone!
Thank you for this video🙏 I am experiencing a really hard time with my "mother in law" me and my partner are staying with her currently due to many reasons, we don't have another option currently, and out situation limits us from moving away. She is the most negative, judgmental and rude person I have ever met. She is extremely controlling and hardly can do anything for her self. She always has to ask my partner to do everything for her and kind of rubs it in my face that she has the control of our relationship and she acts like the queen with all her hidden agendas. She commands orders from her bed from the morning till the evening... Whenever she feels there is something that she needs to do herself, she gets violent, acts out and uses allot if swearing. This action makes me feel completely shut down and helpsless because my partner can't say anything to her as well because he fears the same as me, that things can spiral out of control in an instance. She knows we won't take her on or discuss anything with her that bothers us or that isn't fair, because she throws such a tantrum from hell that one rather tries to avoid going through that. One starts to just accept and continue feeling trempled upon and treated like a nothing. I am talking about this openly the 1st time because I am really feeling very suicidal because there is nothing I can do to change our situation and it has been going on for about 2years😱😨😨😭😭 I am almost scared that this message will also not be of any good and nothing will ever be able to change. I feel really trapped and anxious every day🙏
DO NOT let people like her win. She feels threatened by you and she wants you to feel low like she does. N-O!!!! 🙅🏽♀️🙅🏽♀️
You’ve got this!! Move tf out and cut her off except for special circumstances. Anyone whose behavior yields suicidal thoughts in you obviously doesn’t deserve any place in your life. Peace and blessings to you, love. ❤️🧡
Hi, thank you for this video, it was super helpful! I have been married for 7 years and of those entire 7 years we have lived in my husband's parents home with our 6 year old son. Both of my in-laws are elderly so my husband feels that as though it benefits us to live in their home, it also benefits them having us here to help and I'm totally down with the idea. The problem is that I still don't have a connection with my mother-in-law bc the only time that she ever says anything to me is to criticize me or make sly under-handed comments, which are basically just complaints towards me. I'm literally at the end of my rope, especially since I'm about to be 40 years old and just recently found out that I'm 7 weeks pregnant. She also treats our son like he's someone that she has to deal with but with her other 3 grandkids she kisses the ground they walk on. This is so hurtful bc even though my son doesn't realize it yet, I do and I'm a very protective person! Do you have any quick tips you can share with me or any really useful advice??? Anything at all will be grately appreciated bc I don't want to freak out on her and be the bad guy when we're living under her roof but at the same time I'm sick of going out of my way to try to connect with her as well as bottling all of this up. PLEASE HELP!!!
My mother in law is a narcissist who caused severe emotional and mental trauma to both my wife and myself. More so my wife because she grew up with her. Because of this, she isn't able to stand up to her and she lives rent free in my wife's head 24/7. My wife gave me permission to confront her the next time she does something wrong and intrusive. I've been working through my words to make my point and make it stick while continuing to be diplomatic and professional.
My ex-mother in law was all of the above with extreme ups and downs. Now we get along and civil but I'm free from her and him lol!
My mother In law knows no boundaries! She has lied and spread my name with all of her
Family members. She does this daily as soon as she wakes up she on the phone lying and making up stories . It’s so bad to the point where my husbands brother And sister in-law does not talk to my husband.
She has people print out my pictures of my Facebook account . Not sure what she does with them . She’s just becoming a major problem in our lives and we don’t know what to do anymore . You can not talk to this woman everything turns into a huge fight !
That sounds awful, I'm so sorry this is happening. Are you and your hubby on the same page and supportive of each other about this situation?
My mother in-law doesn’t think mental illness is real I’ve been struggling with bipolar anxiety depression and she is always screaming at my husband on the phone about me not working right now which my problems have caused me to be off work she has convinced my husband to agree with her and now they both have teamed on me it’s so upsetting
Brandi Sodemann even if u r not bipolar and decide to be a stay at home wife and not earn ur mil has no fuckin business to tell u to work . Tell ur husband to man up
If there's a way or the possibility of you maybe wanting guests and or survivors of this toxicity. Please consider having me. I will happily exemplify your channel and open up about my experience. Thank you so much for your uploads.
My husband absolutely cannot say anything perceived as even remotely critical of my MIL. If in the rare case he does? It’s met with the passive aggressive tears of a victim. 15 years and she has never ever apologized (and there’s plenty to apologize for) matter of fact I’ve never heard her say “I’m sorry” to anyone. She’ll invalidate his feelings by saying “well I’m sorry you feel that way “... it’s hopeless. Then if he does actually set boundaries or attempt to, she will endlessly call / text.. cry.. gossip to other family members, etc. until he ultimately falls prey to her tears because he’s guilt ridden. I have no clue how to deal with her anymore.. I’ve never asserted myself exactly for this reason.
I don't know how to get my husband to talk to his mother about the things she has been saying/doing. She has overstepped her boundaries MANY times and has said some disrespectful uncalled for things about me to other people. It hurt me very badly and I no longer want anything to do with her ; but him on the other hand Isint bothered by It . He let it slide in one ear and out the other . It has effected me a lot but has not effected him because it is not about him. It was not him she was spreading personal private information about to strangers. I don't know how to tell him he needs to talk to her. I don't want to be rude or mean to him but she has really hurt me and I want her to know it's not okay. But it is his job to let her know; not mine. I just don't know how to bring it up without making me sound like an asshole.
Just speak from the heart. Tell him you've been very hurt, and continue to feel hurt, and tell him what you need from him. He doesn't need to feel how you feel...he just needs to respect it and show that you two are aligned by setting boundaries with his mom so you don't get more hurt in the future. He needs to respect the relationship you two have. It's all about effective communication and not getting mad at him. Just speak from the heart and identify your pain when you talk to him. Try not to let the anger piece be in the forefront, because there are always underlying emotions behind the anger and that's what you need to talk to him about.
@@KristinCoaching What if you've done that? You've sat him down and talked to him, multiple times with no result. He would rather just leave it alone than cause a rift in their family. Alot of things he doesn't fully believe. He says the behavior doesnt sound like either of us, and he just isn't sure that is what exactly happened. If I say or do something, standing up for myself. He would back me up but will not approach it.
@@daniellearville1048 I think then you need to not be around his MIL as much as possible. If he can't set the boundaries the way you need, then you might need to set them yourself. But of course let him know why you're doing it and why it's healthy for you to set the boundary in this way. When it comes down to it, you need to take care of yourself first and foremost.
Same! I hope you stand tall!
Same thing ..
I know you say to gage and battle less but it will be a constant battle if we have to see them and each time we do they say something "small or level 4" it eats away at you little by little and happens for years.
My MIL makes me want to shrivel up and die. Thanks for the tips! Can you do a video about sharing children with the MIL and how hard that can be?
Tell me a little more about your situation. Do you mean legally sharing children or just what it's like to allow your children to have a relationship with their grandmother who you can't stand?
I need help with this! I have always had issues with my mother in law. As of lately she has been worse than ever. I am due to have our new first baby in 6 weeks and she has been nothing but a nightmare and causing me stress. I was really excited to have her be apart of this happy time, I love my husbands dad. I never want to cut her off, or hurt any feelings but she is so rude, and toxic and its always a fight. How can I let her have a relationship with my child, without me having to deal with this.
@@kariemontgomery5925 honestly focus on your baby and your family. I went through this and unless your husband is on your team and takes a stand it will continue to affect you, your family and your kids and sometimes she passes that to the kids or will make degrading comments to them about you or to them or about them.
Good advice. I'll keep that in mind next time I am dealing with my in laws.
So happy you found these tips helpful! :)
I actually find your videos cathartic in terms of helping to let go of resentment, although my issue is not mother-in-law but another family member.
This was super helpful, but I would love to see a video with a narcissistic mother in law/person, because that is the type of situation I am currently dealing with🤢 love your videos!!
Same girl 😪 I’m mentally exhausted. And to make it worse I deal with her daughter as well…who is also a narcissist. Since I’ve had my daughter last year it has been a living hell
Me too, and she lives on our property. :( I can't escape this hell and I think it's going to cause a divorce after 13 years now... I'm at my breaking point
Thank you for instructing me on how to act when I become a future mother in law some day too. Can you please give me some tips on how to behave after a son announces to me that he is part of a couple so that I am not going to be accused of being over involved or under involved dismissive of one or both people after they announce a change in the nature of their relationship while respecting the boundaries of others in general?
It sounds like you will not be a toxic MIL just based on this question alone. With mine it is a deeply engrained way of thinking and behaving which has been there from the start and been with my partner even longer- My MIL would NEVER think to ask a question like you just did- because she is too busy trying to control and manipulate everyone.
Hey! I’m just wondering if you ended up making a video about mother in law’s that have personality disorders? The relationship I have with my mother in law is so bad I haven’t talked to her in a year. It’s destroying mine and my partner’s relationship. We’re in therapy for it (for the third time) but I’m feeling desperate. She’s so toxic and manipulative I can’t have my 3 year old son around her and that’s really hurting my partner. The things she’s said and the games she’s played are unforgivable! When I found out I was pregnant she asked me if she could have my baby. And that’s just the start of it! If it were anyone else I would happily cut them off but I’m tied to her forever. No matter how bad it gets, she still plays the victim and manipulates my partner. I’m at my wits end with it all and desperately trying to find a video that helps me with this level of toxicity. Sorry for the rambling message, I get anxious just talking about it!
The 2nd time i had met her she cornered me & said "he isn't tearing you up is he" referring to her son & i in the bedroom. I just had laughed it off & said no. She is very opinionated & i don't know how to handle her. I try to keep the peace & i don't like confrontation & she always corners me when he isn't around. I could really use some advice i don't want to end up like his brother & his wife, where they cut her completely out of their life.
My mother in law has pushed my marriage to the brink of separation and to make matters worse she lives with us and I don't know how to convince my wife her mother is the main problem with the constant tension in the air and her subtle manipulation of my wife's mind
Love your advise❤❤❤ you make so much since! my husband is the best person to deal with his moms crazy psychotic issues from now on lmao. It really does make since, her son should deal with her, or worst comes to worst, choose!
You videos are amazing. Thank you!
Will you do a video about a mother in law favoring the other daughter in law? Love your work!
Thank you, I'm so happy you enjoy the videos :) I will put your suggestion on my list. :)
Least yalls mother in law's hasn't tried to actually murder her other son with a knife... That's the crazy I'm dealing with. Im so tired of the hate in my heart. The whole town can't even stand her she has such a bad rep because she's a horrible person. I've never disliked someone almost hate someone ever in my life like this. I'm at my wit's end. We've discussed boundaries with her atleast ten times in the last year and she keeps over stepping. I really don't know what to do at this point we've tried everything. We're planning to move aftee our two year lease is up but how am I supposed to last the two years without going absolutely insane. I married my husband not his family
Wow Lily. Your mother in laws actions are on a whole other level of boundary crossing to say the least. I"m so sorry you and your hubby are going through all of that. Sounds like space is the best thing for all of you.
Thank you. I'm hoping to use your videos to learn some new techniques of dealing. You're awesome btw
I’m an orphan and my MIL said that all the people that love me are dead. LOL that hurt a lot
I'm so sorry she said that...how hurtful.
That's awful remember people like that usually treat everyone badly in some way. It's not you it's her.
She is pure evil and mean trg to limit the times you have to stay or be with her
My mother-in-law’s being pushy she wants me to speak Spanish when she knows that it’s so hard for me to learn the language and she even talks to me in Spanish sometimes and laughs at me because she knows that I don’t understand what she’s saying. Mexican culture is pretty overwhelming for an Asian person like me English is not even my first language but I’m trying my best to learn English cause that’s how my husband and I communicate. I hate it when she says “ you have to speak Spanish “ like why! when I can speak English .. isn’t that enough? She’s been telling me the same thing over and over . Unfortunately I can’t avoid her as I work as a caregiver of her mother in law who used to be so mean to her ....
Awww, i'm sorry to hear that. yes, I can see how that is annoying and frustrating. It sounds like she is strong in her culture and wants you to be included in that, but her approach sounds harsh at times. I wonder if there's a way she can approach you in a more loving way instead of being so critical about it. I think that would help a lot.
Just tell her you are focusing on developing English speaking and ask her to speak to you in English if she can.
get the app Duolingo. learn both English and Spanish easily and comfortably, on your own time(for free.) do it for your husband, do it for you, and do it regardless of what she says(because at this point i see that it will never be enough for her.)
next time she enforces spanish on you, relax and tell her in a friendly way, "hey since we're so important to each other, you love your son, i love your son, and you want me to learn Spanish, you should learn (whichever Asian language you speak.)" or challenge her, "hey, I'll learn Spanish while you learn (the Asian language)" and then maybe, "we can meet in the middle and learn English together."
no matter what, don't let her ruin Spanish for you, please!!! Isnt it awesome that you know (your Asian language)?? and you're learning English.. and possibly Spanish?? so cool and such a useful tool/skill!!!
@Little Dee Was thinking the same way too😂
Try being me… mines gets offended because I talk English when I go over to my bfs house ) they all live together ) she thinks it’s rude and disrespectful or thinks I’m talking about her. Even the sister told me. And that’s the language I because comfortable with . When I talk to her directly it’s obviously in Spanish . Sometimes they striaght up don’t like u. I’m sorry u have to deal w toxic Hispanic mothers .
Question: What if your MIL doesn’t ever ask for direct help and then gets mad when you haven’t helped her? I think she assumes that I can read her mind and she if frustrated that I don’t or that I don’t take more initiative. I can’t take initiative when I can’t see what needs doing. We are staying in her home, I would LOVE to help… I just don’t know how things are done around here and despite the effort of trying to work through this, I still feel clueless and like I’m not good enough 😣
I wish family members did not exist. Hate me if you want. But I've been in 2 very bad marriages to a spouse who could not let go of her mommy. She did whatever her parents wanted. I was stupid. Eventually I came home to find them moved in!!!😲😤😥😨. Immediately my spouse became resentful and irrational to me. Hated the idea of alone time with me and suddenly acted like she was 5 years old all the time. Sadly kids were involved at this point-making it very hard to break away without a struggle. I finally did. I have custody agreements that keep the X away😅. I still pay the X. But my sanity is worth it. If I can give my non educated opinion-----i highly recommend living in different places. (dont cohabitate!)
My mother and sister in-law presented me with papers that if I died my child would go to the mother-in-law 🤮
Thought it was weird I was 23. Took the papers and threw them away when I got home
It’s not gotten better and after 30 years of no support, they can have him back!
She hates me . She can not hear my name . She can not hear her son talk….. damnit he dumped me today because of her over controlling jealousy. She tried to find excuses to hate me . She was grasping straws .but in reality she’s scare I might take her son . I miss him …..
I watch these videos to gain perspective outside of mine. Im fully aware and see what my mother is, so there's no argument between us about that aspect, but i cant be in her head so i like to learn about the other side of it.
GREAT video! Thank you Kristin! You-are-awesome. You help so much. You heal. ❤
Please do a video on a mother in laws who don’t call and does not reach out to call her own son but expects so much from you around holidays and birthdays. And you feel the need to always have to run them down .
I feel this. In law never calls her son but was always trying to call me. She does not really care, she just wants more to talk shit/gossip about. Personally, I stopped answering her calls. You have no time for your son? I have no time for you.
@@tabithacrawshaw9681 yes!!!
If she is a NARC leave and get HUBBY to leave too, they have severe issues detach detach
Whenever there is a problem with a mother-in-law (usually mothers of sons) it is always because the husband (her son) has weak boundaries and is unable to stand up to his mother. Full stop. That is the ONLY way that a mother in law can cause problems. It's always the fault of the adult child who is too afraid to set limits with their controlling parent in order to protect their marriage. Watch how mothers of strong assertive sons would not DARE to interfere? That is because they already know that their sons would cut them right out of their lives if they tampered with his marriage. If you think you have a problematic mother in law, what you really have is a weak husband who allows her to bully you and barge into your home and take over. He ALLOWS it!!!!!
Hi, I just saw your video and I wish I did sooner. I had an outburst to my mother in law. We both said very unpleasant things to each other. I however upologized and she just returned with a negligence and continues blaming me even though I have regretted my words. What should I do now? She clearly portraits a victim in front of my husband despite my apology. 😭 What's the right approach towards her now?
I wish you were around about twenty years ago. My in laws have been bulling me for over forty years. My husband will not stand up to them. I was told by my own mother not to say or do anything. Do not rock the boat she would say. Fortunately my mother in law passed away 20 years ago, now it is one down and three more to go. I have vowed not to die before them so I can see them put in the ground where they are meant to be.
Thank God my spouse knows his mother is a duplicitous, manipulative PITA (pain in the ass) that loves playing the martyr to try and manipulate him. He's had to set her straight more than once.
Please advise me on how I can ask him for her to not live with us because I cannot live with her at all. My husband stated that to put his mother in check is disrespectful
I think it's only fair that you get a say in this. I think you need ot be honest how it's going to impact you and your relationship if she moves in. I think it's important to tell him your fears and worries about it, and ask him if there is any other alternative. I think it's about coming together as a team if you can and figure out a way where his mom won't get hurt, but also you will be happy with the decision too.
There is no talking because he told me that they come before me. He has other siblings that do not want them but every time they are around we fight. I have no say at all. They are Pakistani parents and I am from Trinidad we live more like the Americans. This lady is a drama queen that she cries only for my husband and no one else
I am so sorry to hear that Rose. That sounds very difficult and disappointing as there is no wiggle room so to speak. Even though there is a strong cultural piece here, it's still important for you to be united as a couple and show strength together in your relationship. I wish he would at least validate how you feel and understand where you're coming from.
3 years late, but my mother in law gets offended by everything and my partner knows therefore he doesn’t spend his energy trying to set boundaries with her so how do I handle this by myself?
We live in her house meanwhile making our own house and working from home and my partner says that because of that we cannot establish boundaries in her house
When u get ur own house then it’s a wrap u def can and will be able to do as u please and she can’t get mad at all.
I forgot to sign off I apologize for that..
I’m hanging on yet and gonna try this one last time to see if I can get my husband on board with me and keep our marriage..
Sincerely, Deb Stolfus(Wilkes)
Your wisdom is a godsend! Thank you
What if you have the mature discussion with your mother in law, but she keeps doing it?
Thank you for this video it is so helpful and you have a great way of explaining things.
My mother in law is kind but she’s divorced and needy. And she honestly is pretty spacey and I just have a super hard time connecting with her. I feel bad because I don’t wanna tell my fiancé because I don’t want him to feel bad. But she kinda drives me crazy and I’m worried about it
It has been extremely difficult for my spouse to "deal with" his mother. Both my spouse and his brother have ended up with avoidant attachment as a result from both of their parents. I have learned to just love them from afar and keep all communications limited to only the necessary and trim and sticking ONLY to facts. It is kind of sad, but I am at the level of grieving them while they are still living (due to their toxicity).
That was a helpful video. What do I do when I actually have to LIVE with a a toxic mother in law. Its 1 thing when she comes and a goes but its on a whole other level when you have to live with one and see her toxic ways on a daily basis. I dont know what to do. How do I deal with her!?!? Many times i feel my husband’s taking her side and I feel extremely sad and alone at those times. Help.
I did live with in laws for 9 months. My advice- run!!!!!! You should look for a house or place for just both of you ASAP. If we wouldnt move out we wouldnt be together right now
Anna Minukhin why r u with them just move
she called me a birch and prostitute on the street and she yelled at me saying i was a prostitute, not to mention that she called his son amd told him i wasn't wearing clothes 😵 kdkskd she is insane
What do you do when your other half talks to their mum, but the mum doesn't listen and blames the partner... saying that they are controlling and making the other half do things.
I’m so happy I have the best MIL ever
We established boundaries and MIL wasn’t having that. She completely cut us off and has only seen her grand babies twice.
The second my spouse and I stood up to my mil. She called cps on us to try and take the kids away to make us pay. She has started to hate my spouse since she came out as transgender. She loves her crack addict step brother better.
Wow, I'm so sorry that happened. She sounds very hateful.
What is the best way to handle a mother in law who constantly brings up your husbands ex? It’s beyond rude to me and I feel like she’s trying to upset me by talking about her all the time?? This seems like common sense to me so it’s extra hurtful
My in laws won't communicate with me directly they send my husband to ask me for help at their events and stuff. I reduced all contact with my mother in law, since she told me to leave after an argument with my husband, unfortunately we stay with her for the time being and husband is too attached to his family leave me defending myself. I don't know what to do...
you and your hubby must show a united front. it's not fair to for you defend yourself alone. that can lead to a bunch of hostility between you two down the road.
@@KristinCoaching Thank you, I've recently made an appointment with our church councillor. I just hope we will get a permanent impact from the council.
Like I swear to gid I dont think anyone can have a worst mother n law than me
When her son confronts her and takes my side she stops talking to him n me and says he changed completely after marriage? She insults ,manipulates and misbehaves with me infront of the family , her sons and fil and my new co- sister. What should I do? She manipulates my words adds some of her own and communicates to get son in a wrong way , when we are in their house he always gets angry at me and shouts at me ,it's like I am there only to do house hold work do cooking, and make juices continous work there is no end to this. If I take rest in the afternoon she complains and jokes infront of her sons and neighbours? If there is any discussion in the house if I give advice she just scolds me and manipulates and interprets my words before everyone ? She treats me as if I am not good enough for her son. I get completely drained out once I hear such things I don't feel like staying there , bearing continuous torture . She even comments before her parents that if she becomes pregnant she won't do anything don't tell her to take rest ,now only she is doing nothing. There were days when the maid doesn't come I used to do dishes and wash clothes of all members . In their family her sons don't do anything. She thinks her sons are princes and we are just servants . Work there is unlimited .my husband says I want to go stay with them ,what to do ? I saidthe dance of anger by harriet lts difficult to stay at a place where I am not respected and illtreated ?
I don't have Mother-In-Law in my life thank God but I will never hate in the future because all mother's good not bad *thanks for yours information* because I am not marry because most woman cheaters in the world.. As I met my last ex-fiancee she was cheater.
My MIL hates like she said that to my face i do nice things to her but shes mean to me she wants me to keep cleaning her house keep calling her and check up on her but she never done this to me! i used to do all that but when i got pregnant and very tired i thought she should understand and help me out or care about me but no she wants to keep cleaning her house calling and she never asked me how my pregnancy is doing.. i'm so sad she make me feel bad.
How to deal with widowed one thanks
Great video.
Please do a video on controlling mother and grandmother in law!!! My “MIL” is a meth head that’s an alcoholic and her mother is in denial about it! The grandmother basically verbally attacked me and my s/o for saying we don’t want his mother in our baby’s life (I’m 35 weeks pregnant) I don’t need her negative and toxic energy in our life she wasn’t there for her son AT ALL or me and she want even there for the baby shower or gender reveal party his grandmother yelled at us saying “You CANNOT keep the baby away from his mother” but honestly yes I can it’s my choice and I’m about ready to say she ain’t allowed around either. Me and my s/o agree and dislike his family.
My mother in law is passive aggressive and it's not obvious to others what she says and does, it's very hurtful. I tried my times to talk to my spouse and it just causes fights so I gave up trying. Now I just ignore her, I don't know what else to do. Please help!!!
i never met my husbands mom but his grandmother is a real jerk
In was probably cool at one time, but I, a native American independent women, came into her life. I demanded that he took counseling before the wedding and it worked like a charm. I believe that she got it right from his dad, the dual narcissistic parents of an only son. He set boundaries, and made the choices to stop their racist remarks in front of the kids. Now that she is a freshman, she sees through the lies, and "STORIES ABOUT MOMMY"
We have been together for 21 years in Sept, married for 4. The fine dance, 😂😂😂
1st time she insulted the kitchen, now when she visits, we make sure to skip the dishes for a week because it keeps her busy when she comes. Working so much for her ONLY grandbabyhas everything we can possibly provide. I am very spontaneous and we took our moms on a week long trip to California and got them a room, with daughter, and a king room for ourselves across the hall. We took them antiquing, they rode horses with our daughter and she said something so rude about Venice Beach, (insert Mexican racial slur) she treated the wait staff horrible and wanted to be in the center of attention especially in public. As my mom isn't the native American she seized up and tipped the staff extra and apologized for her embarrassing behavior. This wasn't known to us until after MiL flew home, my mom told us and daughter verified it. But at Santa Monica pier was were my -soon to be hubby- asked my mom for permission to marry me. I didn't know and he waited until holidays to propose, but that was her justification for being rude throughout the gracious gift of moms' vaca. PS Because of my insisted counselor before vows, he straightened his mom up quick, without embarrassing her or putting her on the spot. 11 months after the proposal, we we'd and spent our own money on the wedding. Turned into a $18k wedding and reception, full of fun. My hubby decided on plans to take quick dance lessons before the wedding, squeezed them in and we danced to the hip hop tango. Which was my mom's wedding gift, it impressed everyone and we even snagged a last minute Groupon voucher from my mom to make sure it was great and added a kiss at the end. We saved monthly. And venue was priority.
His narcissistic dad had to brag about the gift of honeymoon, but week before wedding, HURRICANE MATTHEW BLEW THROUGH AND WE WERE UPGRADED TO OUR ORIGINAL JAMAICAN HONEYMOON FOR THE PRICE OF ST. LUCIA, YES BEACH BUTLER SERVICE AND AROUND THE CLOCK BUTLER SERVICE AT THE BEST SANDALS RESORT! It was not in his dad's original price range, but we had 4 other resorts to play at! My father passed away when I was 8 so I walked myself down the aisle, added the live stream feature for anyone who couldn't make it. Amazing 17 years before the wedding and an awesome day. As we left through the Sparkler/ blue neon archway THE GUESTS HELD ABOVE US, to limo, it just began to sprinkle.
ALSO THE PHOTOS OF GETTING IN THE LIMO WAS SONEAY, WE DID IT 2X/FOR THE VENUE ALBUM. So it did rain on our wedding day, for good luck. :)
SORRY SO LONG. HAHAHA
It's no joke when they call Las Vegas 'a wedding capitol of the world. Haha I kept upgrading the normal guests would have. OPEN BAR, AND A LOT OF LOCAL FRIENDS. Yes, there is a domesticated side to Las Vegas. Only hic cup was the Bridal party shuttle limo was fussed at for trying to smoke pot in the Huge Party bus. Haha idk who. We didn't drink bc of the flight to Jamaica left at 4:30 am that night. Venue was ours from 11:15am until 11pm.
#WELLINGTONPLACEROCKS
We also had a skylight over us during vows. I knew what I was in for, the money tree was packed, food was fabulous and staff were gorgeous and kind.
1st time they seen neon blue archway that included sparklers instead of bubbles. Fabulous, and elevator for handicapped guests convenience from Skylit ceremony to reception. 5 stars+!
No matter how much the MIL tried to get in the center of attention, it didn't work. Lol FIL made a big deal of honeymoon, until we visited travel agent and then Jamaica was too expensive, behind closed doors. Also the $500 weather insurance was well worth it bc 2nd choice was torn up by hurricane. I would like to think that was my father's way of giving us what we asked for. JAMAICAN LUXURY HOTELS WAS ONCE A HIDAWAY FOR CELEBRITIES, AND JFK & JACKIE, AND REAGAN & NANCY. IT WAS REMODELED FOR 75 ROOMS AND SUITES SO OUR SUITE WAS JUST MILES AWAY FROM Keith Richards' vacation home!!!! All was perfect, until the MiL tried to crash at our house after we left for honeymoon, drive my Lexus and all !? NOPE HAD MY MOM LOCK IT UP TIGHT. I was livid bc our house wasn't 'ready for company.'
Also it is an open secret that she is a kleptomaniac, seen by FiL, his gf, and son had told me when my perfume was missing during a previous visit, . SHE ACTUALLY ENDED UP STAYING WITH HER EX HUSBAND & GF, AND NEW HUSBAND AT HIS HOME! AWKWARD! HAHA.
Thanks for reading til the end. Lol our teen was on her phone the whole time too. Haha
This all sounds pleasant to me. Any advice on pill head schizophrenic Kleptomaniac mother-in-law’s? 😂😂😂 I’ll trade ya!
This sounds like too much work. The mother in law needs therapy if everyone has to get together respectfully to discuss HER disrespect.
My husband has brought his mother brothers sister and others in to our marriage issues by telling them every time he’s mad at me this has gone on for decades we’ve been with each other since 1979 married in 1989. And I’ve removed myself from being around his family I haven’t seen them a bit over 2 yrs now I’m fine I respect them from afar.. I do my best not to wear a mask ever when import things are in the open and personal I feel they know who I am when it comes to me im one to address to point and remind it’s not any business for them to know assertively end of conversation. I’ve always be the blame for everything that’s been a problem… knowingly I defended it while our daughters grew up thinking I was protecting them.. how dysfunctional I raised our girls..
I have yet to go through your catalog but what’s your opinion on mother-in-law’s who live with you? Is that considered a double whammy, not only do they intrude on your personal space but your emotional space as well
Although I talk to my wife about my feelings she doesn't want to confront her mother about it
She told me told not to come to her house and stop getting in his sons car
my MIL lives in our basement or and she is a hoarder. She has two cats one of them urinate all over the basement and if it gets loose up in our part of the house, it urinates up there too she keeps rotting food in the basement and her fridge is filled with spoiling old dinners in Tupperware containers and she’s generally not a clean person and it smells so bad down there that when the door is open, the smell creeps up into the upper house where we live. And worse she gets really upset if you try to clean down there or touch any of her stuff. What can I do to remedy this?
My mother in-law is a pain in ass since day one ..she doesn’t like my culture..
My MIL reminds me of a septic waste tank . Full of toxins and shit and when you take the lid off you just want to vomit .
Thank you.
i dont know how to deal with his mom,,she blames me for everything..
If it’s about her son I personally said “he is a grown ass man he can take accountable of his own damn actions and choices don’t put his choices on me”
Not sure how often this actually works.
Yeah can you give us your own experience?
My mil is hell. She interferes and then says our problems are not her fault. Since my fil passed away, my husband wanted us to live together so she is not alone. Worst mistake ever. Never ever do that ladies. And top it off she thinks she knows what is best for my 2 year old daughter which pisses me off to no end. Last night we had such a screaming match. Problem is I cant let my husband deal with her because he always takes her side. I'm the problem according to the two of them. No matter what she does i must just brush it off and let it go. No matter what hurtful words she says. I must just let it go. Fortunately she is moving out soon so i dont even want to speak to her or deal with her. She can have her relationship with her son and i will stay to one side. Too much has been said and done to mend things to be honest. Almost cost me my marriage.
Very very good video! I'm not sure if you will get around to reading this, as I'm sure you're busy... but I'm case you do I will try and make this short. Okay... I'm a 37 year old single mom to a 14 year old daughter. As of last Oct 2019 I've been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend who is 20. I can already see the eye's rolling and disgust :( but as much as I tried to not fall in love or get involved...well that didn't work. Anyways, his mom is a few years older than me and while she says my age isn't an issue her actions say otherwise. I've always gotten along with all my boyfriends moms. But his mom is almost impossible to connect with. His Dad and Mom have been together 20 years and they don't have any hobbies or friends. Their son my boyfriend is their pride and joy and they still treat him like a child. We all had dinner together one evening and when it was time for me and my daughter to leave the father gave my daughter a special handshake and I just got a standard goodbye. After that they didn't even say anything about me to my bf. Usually when you meet someone for the first time you will talk amongst yourself and say she seemed nice or I think that went well. For Thanksgiving he spent the majority of the day with them and came over to my house around 7pm. His father was pissed and said he should be with HIS own family for the holidays. Christmas was the same. His mom said that her and the Dad spent Christmas separate for the first few years with their own families 🙄 am I crazy for hoping next Christmas we all can spend it together?? I forgot to mention he is in college 2 hours away and so when he comes to visit me on the weekends they get upset if he doesn't see them. He often doesn't tell them when he's in town because they get mad at him if he doesn't stay at their house. I guess they're able to track his location on his apple phone so they know when he is in town. How do I get his parents to give me a chance? To see that I'm not taking their precious baby away. My bf has expressed my concerns to his mom but she says things like what have I done to make her think I don't like her? Like are you kidding me?! The Dad accused me of being a gold digger...which is funny because I'm the one that works and has my own home. 🤷♀️ I feel like they're fucking with my head and a part of me wants to be like game on bitch but I know that's not the right thing to do. Please help.
@Chloe P30 Hi thank you for replying 😊 if for some reason this relationship doesn't work out I won't ever be getting involved with younger guys. My daughter actually really likes my boyfriend. We all get along really good. We also try not to be overly affectionate in front of her. As I'm use to keeping that private. I'm sorry about your mom :( I'm not okay with bringing different guys in and out of my daughters life. It's not fair to her. Another thing if this relationship doesn't work out I'm going to stay single until my daughter is a little older.
@Chloe P30 Thank you 🖤 you seem pretty awesome too! Things have been actually really good between his parents and me. They took us out for dinner for my birthday :)
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