You Are Spoiled.
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- Опубликовано: 27 апр 2022
- What do you want out of your career? Healthy Gamer Career Coaching can help you figure this out, how to bring value through your choice, and if you need to make a career change to bring that value. Find out more here! bit.ly/3kbjwsN
▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:29 - Reddit post
04:09 - Struggling to make career decisions
06:09 - Where do we get our expectations from a job?
11:24 - Work is about value
19:23 - The value of technical and boring
23:00 - Companies are looking for skillsets, not expertise
26:22 - The value of change in career
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Today Dr. K talks about how to know if you're spoiled, how to make career decisions, how to know what career is right for you, and more! Healthy Gamer also talks about being bored at work, hating your job, how to love your job, and how to change your career!
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DISCLAIMER
Healthy Gamer is an online community and resource platform for gamers and their families. It does not provided medical services or professional counseling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care. Our coaches are peer supporters, not professionally trained experts, and they cannot provide medical service. If you or a loved on are experiencing an emergency, please call your nation's emergency telephone number.
All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
As an electrician I absolutely hate going into people's attics to run cable because it's super dangerous (easy to fall thru if you misstep) and always dirty and nasty. BUT. I love seeing how great my work looks at the end of the day because I didn't make a huge hole somewhere I didn't need to, because I was willing to do the shitty part of my job.
Just hope you charge a lil something extra than.
nothing like some sexy conduit thats not crooked at all. plum clean and neat. See it whenever i walk in a building now.
@@larrytate1657 then
@@TheShizzlemop bruh
@@TheShizzlemop did you not understand what he meant?
I just wanna say I appreciate that Dr. K reads the entire post and doesn't skip anything. It makes it seem like he takes every poster seriously.
Alok "fantastic post" Kanojia
I was gonna comment something similar! He goes down to the root and looks through everything. This post only had 6 upvotes when he saw it as well, content is more important than visibility or popularity. Very cool stuff
That's kind of his job, and he seems really good at it
He does
Alok "Let me think for a second" Kanojia
this is why i’m so eager to work, i know i’m completely under my parents roof rn, and i really want to branch out and be independent so i feel more responsible on my own. idk i just feel bad about how much i depend on my parents still
That's honestly a worry in mainly the United States, many societies around the world have children providing support under the parent's roof until they get married and start their own family. We're in a recession bruh, as long as you keep working and carry your weight, there's no reason to feel ashamed.
Edit: I guess we're not currently in a recession right now, but we're apparently expecting another in a year because...politics idfk
There's a difference between living 'with' your parents and 'off' your parents. Don't be the latter and you're good.
That’s fair. I went through the same thing. As soon as I had enough money and a roommate I got an apartment. Which is really hard, but it definitely made me grow up. Just be careful when you do it, try not to rush things so fast like I did. Obviously I don’t know how old you are, but it’s still good to slow down and do some research and save up money for a while
@Mank Hobley clearly not why they feel bad. It's the feeling that we're taking advantage of that love by not contributing as much as we possibly could be.
No one feels bad bc their parents love them, that makes no sense
Same dude, but I've noticed this is a very western thing to move out early. My family is from West Africa and its pretty normal to live at home and be working until you get married, in fact its seen as the parental obligation to support the child their whole life pretty much (to an extent). Sometimes not even working. Everyone should move at their own pace, but don't mooch.
"Gatekeeping suffering and unhappiness" is a phrase I'm so glad to have heard, so thanks for that. It really accurately describes how I've been made to feel by some people. That if your problems aren't life-threatening then they're not worth other people's time.
Yeah but triage is still a thing you know. i wish we could treat anyone.
"You say this but meanwhile there are starving children in Africa."
Same person 3 seconds later.
"Turn the heater up its cold in here!"
When its like 18 Celsius.
Everyone's life is easier than their own until they have to walk in those shoes
I feel attacked by the notification
That's me getting hit by his notifications for the past month
Why go to a therapist when youtube video titles can already diagnose you.
Viral comment
the fact that you feel attacked means you're spoiled...
Dr. K.: "I don't think you're spoiled".
Video title: "you' are spoiled".
"The Unicorn isn't found, it's crafted." Maybe the most genius thing you've ever said! Thank you for your content and sharing your own passion.
Dr. K speaks the truth. I'm in IT because of my love of computers. My day to day is inefficient meetings, fending off vendors' sales teams, asking other teams to get their part done, writing technical documentation, and double-checking spreadsheets. But that 10% where I'm elbow-deep in the tech, configuring something cool, and then launching it to production and watching all the endpoints check in and execute the script perfectly, those are the moments I live for, and it makes it all worth it. I'm paid to do that 10%, but also the other 90% shitty stuff.
I'm an Electrical Eng. and was "trained" for power transmission. It took lots of time and patience but I made the transition to my preferred industry and as of last week, received my dream job offer. Hang in there fellow engineers
What job offer did you receive?
Greetings fellow Power Engineer! I actually just took my Power PE test for the 2nd time.
What industry did you move to?
Bump. Curious to see how this turns out
Hey guys, I'm now in the auto industry for inverter electrical design! Doubled my salary in about 5yrs...
I feel like Dr K's most used quote is "I know it sounds kinda weird but..." I guess there's a lot of weird stuff when it comes to the mental health of humans.
The hard truths can seem weird to the person analyzing their own psyche, because emotions are often illogical. We just need a gentle outside perspective to see the path forward for our selves. Dr. K has an amazing bedside manner!
@@munkyenima True dat
@@munkyenima That was very well said by the way. Thank you. I took a moment to think about it and appreciate it.
Also the fact that we do not "usually" think introspectively, and most of the introspections that Dr. K would bring up would be "unusual", so I suppose he preface it that way so that the listeners could be ready for a potentially "unusual" thought that he would introduce. Once the unusuals are normalized, they become the usuals.
@@dsakurai I also think he says it so he doesn't sound too alien and unusual to his viewers. He's like "I also think it sounds weird" And then his viewers are like "Oh okay he's a relatable human. He hasn't gone completely insane". Also I support normalizing unusual stuff lol. A lot of humans have been like limited, programmed, corrupted NPCs for so long.
A lot of us are presented with so many different pathways now that it is easy to feel spoiled. It's not that we can't do a difficult job... But when it appears there are better options it's tempting to keep hopping to get the "best" one. We all know that one guy who brags about making 100k a year on their computer from home while gaming half the day...
I think part of what's wrong with that is the glorification of an easy paycheck. If you're making 100k a year and spending half the time gaming instead of working, then you're making way less impact on the world. You're also not becoming your best self. I think that type of lifestyle ends up feeling quite empty in the long run.
@@ejun251 for sure, I don't condone most people to waste an opportunity like that. But I'd go nuts for an opportunity like that because I'd actually use the extra time and money to better my community. Extra time= I can finally be a foster parent. Extra money= I can pour money into my community. A lot of people waste it on bullshit though
@@ejun251 so be it lol... honestly let's stop thinking that working and only working is what gives you meaning. With 100k/yr and a remote job which allows me to do nothing for half of my working hours i would game yes, but i would also read, talk to my friends, make art, even travel since its remote. That's wayyyyyy far from an empty life imo.
Working 40 hours a week and being able to be free for 3 weeks a year is a far more empty life.
@@Quelkei I'm not in disagreement with that. We all have different values. People who consider work to be everything are usually very unfulfilled in family and community.
If you're using the time not spent working on something meaningful, then there's no real problem with it. I wouldn't sacrifice my career for volunteer work in the community or become a stay at home dad personally, but I would respect someone who does.
There are great books on how to find what your most important values are, such as "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People"
Riiiight!
Even working for myself in a career I value I often have moments where I procrastinate and become apathetic. It's just apart of adulting and taking breaks from it from time to time can help. I think social media has some play in this as well. It glamorizes certain maybe unrealistic lifestyles for most.
Well said ... about the social media aspect.
It isn’t really social media. It’s social progress. COVID enlightened hundreds of millions to the fact that they hate their jobs/careers and need something more, or different.
I'll tell you my story, which might relate to this. I had been studying biotechnologies and finished my PhD. But during that time I also had a feeling I would want to be a personal trainer and nutritionist. I trained couple of my friends and they got results, so they told me to give it a try. At the same time I was dissapointed from my PhD and science in general. Likewise, my tutor was having some issues and complaints were pointed at him from all over the uni. As I was finishing, I did not change tutor, because I found out I don't want any tutor or boss at all. I wanted to be my own boss. I moved back from UK (where I finished my PhD) to my home country, and completely forgot about science. At the same time, I was determined to start a fitness business. Now four years later, I am so glad that I made that decision. Some can say those years on PhD were wasted, but that is not true. As Doctor says, try to combine it in some way. There is a lot of **** and scam in fintess industry, but there are scientific papers also. Not everybody can interpret these studies in fitness industry. I can read those papers and understand them well because in was in science. I also gained a good writing skill during my PhD, as I wrote few scientific papers myself. I studied fitness and nutrition a lot during my PhD so I was already ahead of others when I started my business. While my fitness colleagues did not financially survive corona-crisis, I was able to raise my prices twice during it. But do not live in ideals that fitness industry is all shiny and you will wake up motivated every day. There is also plenty of boring stuff, as in every other job. As Doctor says, in the end it is about value, and you might as well be doing good in engineering. I would try to make it a part-time job so you could see how you like it. Good luck!
I went to college to be a Nutritionist (a 5 year degree) I was so disappointed of how little intelectual challenge I would get out of that career so I went to grad school for immunology and molecular biology and I loved it.
This is really nice to hear. I'm currently in my second year of my PhD (physics/electrical engineering) and also feel like I want to be my own boss. I also want to be a maker (see Mark Rober or Simone Giertz if you're wondering what I mean) and I'm running into so many problems in my daily life, that could be fixed with an object, but that object doesn't exist. So I'm gonna build them myself, because I have the skillset and enjoy inventing/building/making/DIY stuff. And I also feel like iterating over this first prototype and then letting it mass produce and sell it, wouldn't be that large of a step.
So yeah, I kind of really want to found my own company a few years in the future (I first need some of the first prototypes and stuff), but designing helpful furniture and gadgets is not in the field I studied. A carpetenter education would be much more helpful than a physics degree and a Dr Ing.
Thanks for sharing! Going through the same thing. Have to find what’s gonna be my alternative industry though.
"Whatever you do there's gonna be some work that you don't enjoy." This is so true. I currently study computing so I've got experience programming and that extends to developing simple games here and there and someone I knew kept coming to me with new ideas on the daily about games they wanted to make except they never stuck on one idea long enough to see it through to completion. They kept saying that they couldn't stick on the same idea or do the less fun tedious work bits required to make the ideas into a reality because they didn't want to lose their passion for it. I remember thinking even if you love playing video games, making them is not always gonna be fun, there's boring and frustrating aspects to literally anything you do.
Dr. K mentions something i always felt people missed when looking for their dream career: it has to provide value. People will often talk about how they must find a career that helps them, then forget that whatever they do has to actually provide value for someone else. Growing up the example was that "no one's going to pay you to play video games". In reality, you can be a video game tester, but they pay you to improve the game, not enjoy it. The way you have to play that video game will be unenjoyable.
But this excludes anithing artistic because in direct sense it doesn`t bring value like monetarily. People will say it`s just entertainment or escapism. But people want to draw make music or write books and those things are not without importance.
I prefer the term "preserved"
Mom: you're spoiled
Me: STOP BEING SO TOXIC WITH ME OMG YOU'RE RUINING MY MENTAL HEALTH!
Dr.K: you're spoiled
Me: *I have no doubt on that*
That's because you know he isn't engaging in boomerisms
Because you know doctor K will actually listen to you and your concerns, be honest with you, won't judge you, and won't bring emotion into the equation.
That’s because of a few reasons but one of the main ones being that he only gets to see the “you” how you are right now instead of the past
I’m 35 and have changed careers several times. It’s a complicated topic, but balance is the most important thing to consider for me. If your job is super challenging and stressful, it better be rewarding. If it’s boring and easy, it should be giving you the free time and mental energy to pursue more interesting projects. Nothing wrong in having a high-powered career that takes all of your energy, and there’s nothing wrong with taking easy mindless low-paying jobs to free your mind up for side projects.
And always be looking for the root cause of your problems and not immediately looking for external solutions
I work for myself by myself, on a project based on a passion I've been cultivating for over a decade now. I'd say most of the time I don't "enjoy" what I do, per se. It's difficult, frustrating work that takes a lot of different skills coalescing in order to pull off. "Enjoyment" isn't the point for me, though. Fulfillment and meaning through self-expression and self-determination are what get me through it all. It's a deeper motivation. I believe that if you don't have a deeper motivation towards your job than "I enjoy it," then you are going to struggle a lot in that job. Enjoyment is fickle and fleeting. Meaning is forever.
Well said.
@@nikolas4347 Clearly not true. Why are you online watching psychology videos and commenting if you don't have it? Sounds more like you're trying to convince yourself you don't care to protect yourself from something
o.o
My suggestion is to look for your passion - and when I say passion I mean something you feel is meaningful enough to sacrifice comfort and enjoyment for. An olympic medalist might have a passion to be at the top, but that doesn't mean they enjoy training all the time. No pleasure can be maintained forever, so it's important to find something that's meaningful on days when it's not fun.
As a sidenote, people who call work slavery don't typically say that because work is hard or boring, it's moreso pointing out that it's in the boss/owner's interest make a profit on the value their employees are generating, by having them work as hard as possible for as little pay as possible.
When I get to those unpleasant bits of the job, I take a deep breath and say, "Well, if it was all fun they wouldn't pay me."
There’s definitely a demand for engineers in the fitness industry. A machine that effectively isolates the lower lats would help a lot of bodybuilders. A portable device that could accurately measure a person’s basal metabolic rate and daily energy expenditure could help the millions of people struggling to gain/lose weight. So there’s definitely a market for this person.
Got my master's in Disaster Resilience during the pandemic, so I'm trying to get an internship now. Been volunteering for the American Red Cross on/off since 2016. Turns out, I really do dislike disaster response. Irregular hours, organization style tends to be lax, and action is more reactive. I'm hoping that disaster mitigation is more my speed - regularity, more streamlined, more attention to improving existing efforts, and being proactive.
It's not that I've wasted time or that I haven't enjoyed what I've gotten to do so far with the ARC.
It's that I'm perpetually learning more about what kind of work I enjoy.
"The unicorn isn't found, it's crafted." SO TRUE
Damn. This is so unbelievably helpful. I (attorney) am in a very similar situation, and hadn’t considered the points you bring up. It feels like everyone around me loves what they do and I couldn’t figure out how to get that in my life. Thank you for posting this when you did. Love the content.
Hello there! Law graduate here. I remember vividly when I started my apprenticeship at an attorney's office and realiziing "omg the true studying begins now😮" I asked the experienced attorney for advice saying "Sir, I think this profession isn't for me" he replied sitting behind his desk with piles of paper etc : I would do that for a penny. He enjoyed all of it? How?? I left and settled with simple jobs like sales, even waitressing. I would be grateful for any input. Greetings from Greece
You've pointed one, very important thing, that while we're chasig efficiency in modern world our jobs becoming more and more mundane. Before you had to walk around a hospital and look at the real people - good for psychical and psychological health - now you can do the same sitting in front of 2D screen.
So the thing I have to say about this is: it's one thing to be a drama queen when you have it relatively well and you complain about how hard your life is, but it's another thing to be a boot-licking suckup who let's themselves get walked over because they COULD have it worse. It's not only a right for society to find issues and keep ironing them out to shoot as high as we can go, but a duty, and if we shirk on those duties because WE have it relatively well, then we're being overly self-centered. Everything's all connected, and so our minor issues could be symptoms that share a common root cause to something worse like homelessness. The issue shouldn't be there, and it's representative of something nefarious, either way.
Really starting to see the patterns in those temporal hardships which seem to pressure us into deciding between "live changing" paths, just like the other video about the guy in his 6th year architecture. Myself inclouded, I feel like everyone is going through such situations once every while not knowing the reason why and making it by that a lot harder than it has to be ^^.
He nails it pretty squarely. There is suffering in life, we just need to proper tools to navigate through the suffering.
It's kind of comforting but also freaky how similar his situation is to mine. We're at the same age too lmao. I've had three jobs so far and none really stuck. My first job lasted a year. My second job lasted 3 months coupled with a mental breakdown haha. I took a long ass break and now I'm in my third job and I'm wondering once again if I can last while just in my 8th month. I already told myself I needed to stick it out at least for 2 years cause job hopping looks bad on the resume. So now I'm asking the exact same questions on whether I'm spoiled, whether I'm weak-willed, whether I just don't know how to persevere.
Man Dr. K is such a great guy, glad we have the opportunity to listen to his advices
My own career has been filled with starts and stops and a full reboot. If I were only to look at my more successful peers, I'd feel significantly behind and struggling to catch up. But I also know some people that seemed to have stopped developing at college and have been in the same rut for the last twenty years. Keeping a balanced perspective is tricky, especially if you don't have much intrinsic motivation to keep doing what you're doing.
Comparing with others instead of focusing on the present = not good is what I am learning from dr. K
Good luck my guy, sometimes the extrinsic advice from dr. K helps as well! Hope you can keep maintaining or improving that balance
100% agree! As for me I grew up wanting to be a US air force pilot and fly A-10s and get an aerospace engineering degree... But I just can't 1. I have like 5 chronic illnesses and you out with 1.
2. the math, procurer, temperament, exactness involved I just can't. I have the rest though so I play flying games/sims on my RUclips channel and write books and make art/games using aerospace engineering work and research into the USAF as imperation for the stories and make then more realistic... So yeah you don't need do the thing you can't but you can take what you can do and do something else.
Just recently found out about you, Dr K. Always on point and I feel deeply that you are really speaking to my situation in many videos. However, this one really hits home with my current situation after getting terminated from my data science job and having reactionary thoughts of building a career in music with little to none of the requisite skills/resources. Your encouragement to combine the unicorn with the technicals has given me some good ideas and I am excited to pursue them. Thank you.
This video added value to my life, answered a question I never knew how to ask
"Do you drink grapefruit juice?"
I know exactly why Dr.K is mentioning this question, and this makes me realize my psychiatrist never asked me this question...
...maybe it's because grapefruit is not common in my country, but still
I literally studied this pharmacological fact in my current med school semester and I feel powerful right now.
I'm kinda new here, what is the effect of grapefruit ?
I'm kinda new here, what is the effect of grapefruit ?
@@paulv6732 grapefruit juice alter some medication effect, to put it simply: it blocks enzyme that is important in breaking down medications in the body, so the net result is medication will stay longer in the body and will cause more effect...so sometimes it's important to know before administration of a drug (especially neurological drugs) if grapefruit juice is present or not
This guy is the embodiment of good shit! Love you Dr. K
The way Dr.K goes "Hmm maybe you can combine engineering and fitness?" makes me see the foreshadowing of this leading to the guy becoming a successful workout machine designer or something.
I appreciate this video a lot, thank you
Great topic to discuss. I had similar problems, I will now treat them well. Thank you!
Also, great design, without chat on the videos. For me it was always disturbing.
Thank you for the video!
Uh oh. I felt extremely lucky when Dr K was describing those who really enjoy what they do and are excited to do it daily, and then he mentioned the personal relationships part and I want to be better about it but I really love what I do and feel so grateful for the opportunity that I don’t want to squander it
This guy needs to learn a trade. The manual work will keep him fit, and he can use his passion physics in an applied way. No more theoretical equations, its actual real life physics.
I have a job in public administration. And I always felt like I'm wasting my potential and condemning myself to a life of poverty once I leave my mother's house.
BUt, I can't bring myself to study. For decades I've beat myself both physically and mentally. But when the time comes for me to sit down and actually do something boring and non-stimulating I just can't do it. I drift off almost immediately and every part of my mind go insane.
I'm awful at taking care of myself. I am the worst person to be responsible for myself. Because I just can't do what I have to and mature and start doing anything productive. I've been procrastinating living my life for almost a decade now. And I don't know how to break myself out of this cycle.
There's always one more video to watch, one more post, one more meme. And if my phone isn't available I daydream. I will always find what to distract myself with.
The idea of studying many hours a day for YEARS to get a degree is simply science fiction to me.
I feel like the lack of discipline when I was a kid and teen absolutely ruined me beyond repair. It feels dreadful.
Hey! Not trying to diagnose in a youtube comment here, but have you looked into ADHD assessment?
@@Amarytha Yeah, I do have it. I was diagnosed more or less seven years ago, when I was 22. But it was already too late. I can't discipline myself and overcome it. I never could.
hey just want to share that it's really possible to change. I went from never cleaning nothing at home and letting stuff in my room grows mold to now keep things kinda organized and cleaning my room once a month or so, for instance. It happened in a time span of three years kind of and since I got in therapy it helped me alot. Im struggling with lot of things still but wanted to tell you that who you are is not determined in any shape or way.
Excellent advice
he could literally make exercise equipment! I would tell him to go to the gym, but this time make note of exercises he did and felt could be optimized more on the equipment side? ergonomic dumbells, different angles of resistance pathing and so on. It's absolutely there
You’re blowing my mind. This stuff is so simple but it’s still like 🤯
I feel like most of this stuff comes from the fact that western cultures pushes a lot the idea of having a successful career and dedicating yourself to a job. I struggled with it a lot too, because I just felt bad every single day because I knew I had to spend most of my awake time at a job I hated, just because I was good at it and it paid good. This is also another problem, I hear too many people saying that you "should do something you are good at rather than something that you like", which might be fine short term, but in the long run it will drain you out. No really liking it most of the times it's normal, I don't know anyone who actually loves their job every single day, but it's just not good for you to do something you REALLY hate.
My life drastically improved when I actually took a step back, and got a way less stressful part time job, which doesn't pay a lot and requires a lot of sacrifices, but at least it only occupies 4 or 5 hours of my day. People called me "lazy and spoiled" a lot, but I honestly came to realise that I value my limited time on this planet way more than a successful career or having loads of money. I don't really like it most of the times, but I don't hate it as much as I hated my previous job and more importantly, I can actually spend more time doing the things I enjoy.
This video is incredibly helpful, thank you!
Dr K is really on a role with these videos.
You're right, I am spoiled.
I know I'm spoiled. I'm doing well in life and everything I'm doing is because of opportunities given.
Wonderful content, keep it coming please 🙏🏻
I'm definitely very spoiled, been spoiled all my life and still am, I'm turning 23 in about a week and I have no idea how to maintain or even obtain a job. I thankfully have my parents' support to do whatever I want, but I feel like that's also what's making me spoiled. My dad *doesn't* want me to leave the house because he has an overattachment to me, and I'm fine with that too, but at the same time, I feel like that's limiting me as a person who has to be more independent and, well, be an adult.
I'd like to get a job but I was never taught how to do a lot of things. I'm not even that good at basic social interaction tbh. The idea of working at a fast food place scares me to hell and working briefly as a cashier once wasn't the most pleasant experience. Just thinking about that time makes me feel like crap because that's probably just part of the job.
So basically, I've been so spoiled all my life by my family that I feel like I'm still a teen in a 23 year old's body.
i dont have a lot to say but yeah man i can relate, especially the last sentence
The only way to learn is to try. If you fail at something, learn from that failure and try again.
I'm in the EXACT same situation. Sheltered with low self esteem and coping with frustration. Two days lasted my last job. But fortunately, I dont feel that bad right now. If you want someone to talk and practice social interaction, I can give you a hand.
Maybe try something like doordash or uber if you can because the barrier to entry is smaller. This way you can get some type of work experience. Working in a grocery store is an option too that I consider less stressful than fast food, but that's based on individual experience.
@@onethousandfaces I don't have a licence and I've never learned how to drive. My father got a car gifted to him a few weeks ago and then gave it to me for free because again, he spoils me to hell, so I hope to get some driving lessons soon at least.
As a former engineer student, I had it hard earlier this year when I came to the realisation that i also only wanted to click buttons in video games. Having already tried a lot of things to make it better the job offered by engineering could not satisfy my will to talk to humans and to think and talk about science. I was giving courses aside and was getting much more satisfaction from that, i decided to quit after realising that I would get the same money per hour if I made my tutoring full time. This video was spot on for me ^^
In the end I also don't recommend to make macroscopic changes at first. Trying and being less invested in the 'secure' to free time to get into something else was huge to me. I also had to rebudget everything and being your own boss is harder on a lot of levels, but I knew what I was getting into because I tried it on the side before going for it. Was the best decision of my life
For reasons that I can’t quite elucidate, this was one of the most intriguing sessions I’ve seen in a long time
Fascinating to observe. My dream job is to be a villain who sings and makes enough money from my art to pay rent alone without assistance from anyone. Currently I’m unemployed, because working retail gave me frequent panic attacks, and I had a heart attack at 21, from masking as a ‘nuerotypical happy girl’ when actually I’m an autistic boy who didn’t get diagnosed until 20, and didn’t realize I was a guy until around when I quit my job because I was beginning to have alot of physical side effects from hiding the depression. I quit in late 2021 for another job that only lasted a few months, and then lost my ex girlfriend who lives in another country, now I’m living in poverty with a family friend. I’m 22. So now I’m recovering from the first 20 years and for the first time feel like I actually have a choice over my future and honesty with the past. I actually really love myself now when I’m not among other humans that is. I’m autistic, and I REALLY love singing, character design, and all artistic expression because art helps me understand myself, people, and characters. I’m very good at the nonsense I make, but although I’m very skilled, I have no idea how money works. So for now I stick to my room creating stuff that helps me express my humanity and focusing on gaining meditations, more knowledge and skill no matter what happens next.
Something for me that sticks out and is a goal I really need to better push myself towards is that I love to entertain but I am an engineer by trade, so for me a goal is to push myself towards RUclips content where I can use my engineering to create fun things like a mark rober or stuff made here. I have a lot of anxiety towards it because I've never made videos before, but I think that's a really good use of what I love to do and it's something that I can work on while working elsewhere
Thank you for bringing up Starcraft. As a fellow boomer, I deeply appreciate this.
Thank you so much , so intersting topic
The advice towards the end of the video is worth its weight in gold. Combine your passions to find purpose.
I take back what I thought about you. Such a moving wave of confidence.
this is a message I need to hear.
It's always "you have it so easy/no one likes work/you can't love everything in a job" all my life.
Yet I haven't had a single job where I had something that was enjoyable, not a single aspect of it.
Queue debilitating burnout that's crippled me and finding out I'm autistic and ADHD. This explains so much and now I don't have a job and unable to find a single job that fits any of my needs.
I've worked in retail, hospitality front and back end, fitness industry, financial industry, and data review validation and entry. I always struggle in school environments and never had a single interest in any course offered in university.
Eternally clumsy is just dyspraxia so working in something like carpentry is just going to lead to injuries. I was constantly burning, bruising, and cutting myself even with correct techniques when cheffing.
What to do when there isn't even an identifiable factor of any job that I've worked in that I got enjoyment from?
I struggle with noise, lighting, and either need to be moving around or not moving around but I don't get to pick, it's whatever my brain needs at the time.
I can't even mask and push through anymore.
Park ranger or the arts
@@bufficliff8978 thank you for the suggestions, I was looking for the arts when all the rubbish with AI stuff went down, the artists I follow stopped getting commissions and are struggling and even the well known ones are having difficulties with it, those who haven't already completely given up, it was bad enough with all the cheap Chinese knockoffs and stealing but now it's on a much larger scale and people just don't care it's all theft and stolen IP. Then there's the massive layoffs happening in animation and game development.
Ranger is out of scope for me, I've looked at that too and landscaping/gardening, unfortunately spring and summer are hell seasons for my allergies and asthma, even winter is too hot for me most the time and Australia still has stuff flowering and grasses I can't run away from. A librarian was another one I looked at but is also beyond since they're no longer quiet calm spaces, just loud noisy centres hosting community events and the excessive lighting in the buildings is almost as bad as grocery stores.
Oh, I remeber what that grapfruit juice thing was about:
That's actually not random. If I recall correctly grapefruit juice dissolves the casings of some meds that are supposed to slow the bodies absorption of it.
11:30 that is a great thing to say. I'll add one word more to this. Work is about delivering value.
My job is in some ways a dream for my undergrad self who thought the best physicists were generalists like Freeman Dyson who did work in lots of different fields; in some ways that's what I do, my job pulls from E&M, thermo, mechanics and I solve physics problems based on that on super computers. There are days were it is an outright pain in the ass to get simulations running, things that need redoing, sometimes outright silly mistakes that themselves are embarrassing and such that definitely doesn't invoke the childlike curiosity I had growing up watching Carl Sagan documentaries. There are other days where it's the exact opposite and I light up learning this math and seeing that my stuff added to the value of the products we're looking at to our costumers. I disagree with Dr. K alot but his advice here is pretty spot on especially about engineers in the fitness industry. I have an electrical engineering (and physics) background but I work in a field that's dominated by mechanical engineers, don't limit yourself based on the name of the field of your degree.
spot on at 9:44. being a faux postive hustler does not lend itself to emotional honesty.
I've been in the same predicament before but I work in IT Operations not Engineering. Working in fitness is absolutely tedious and unrewarding even if you have a passion for it. Once you start dealing with other people's motivations, diets, excuses, etc it really loses its charm. Also you will sit on the computer writing diet and workout plans for hours on end every day and you will need to learn a study a lot of really boring material/studies as well. It's not all hitting PRs and hanging out with chiseled sexy people lol. The other factor is that working in fitness is largely about marketing so if you don't have a background or nack for that it will be very tough to do well, specially when compared to Engineering pay. I decided to stick with IT Ops but I still follow my passion in fitness on my own and help people who seek me for that. It's much more rewarding this way.
I like it, this video had been... validating? Not sure what other word to describe it. Several things I wanna add is that when people tell you you're spoiled, and when you tell yourself you're spoiled, it just doesn't help. Because being told that you're spoiled is in a way a form of "comparative suffering", because of the "other people are having it worse, what do you have to complain about" attitude (also funny how these same people can tell you not to compare yourself with others yet call you spoiled). Comparing people's problems solves no problems.
It's also mostly true that if you do find something you're interested in, you aren't going to enjoy every step or part of the process to bring value to your work. I've talked with artists who had creative blocks, writers with writer's block, etc. Same goes for what I myself am venturing into.
Combining 2 fields to create value is what Steve Jobs did when he introduced fonts to computing typeface from his calligraphy days.
Yeah, frankly the best way is accepting a realistic goal and underlying enjoyment in which one can achieve. The goal is something good, not creating more suffering just to be perceived self as un-spoiled (in whìch mindset can create compulsiveness)
o.o
This was a good one
Hmmm laterally moving from apartment maintenance to something to do with music.. I got nothing but I'll update if I figure it out lol. Maybe my core skillset is I'm a guy with a truck and a bunch of tools and people who throw music shows might need stuff installed or worked on? Definitely gives me some things to consider!
This makes me being thankful for my current job even more so. If you want a good place to have a job, look for your local business journal about "top 10 place to work in city XXX", it's worth it.
Hello Dr.K just wanted to ask “should I or people in general, lower their standards in order for one to have a successful relationship?” I thought it would be a good topic to talk about.
lol, I'm here also as an electrical engineer. I've managed to stay at 1 job for 3 years now out of college, but I ALSO really like health and fitness and especially mobility, and am debating going back to school and becoming a Physical Therapist, and get involved in the fitness/health industry that way. I'd have to pay a lot of money to get the degree, and wouldn't easily make as much as a PT as a I do now and could if I stayed as an engineer, but I don't care about money too much (after a point at least), I would definitely still be able to live comfortable on a PT's salary.
7 years into my career, I've come to accept that at least this job doesn't make me want to kill myself EVERY day, maybe 4 out of 5 days but at least 1 day I enjoy it and see its value and worth. And it ebbs and flows, some weeks are amazing 5 of 5 days and some weeks its shit Monday AM to Friday PM. I feel lucky because of that. And to this point, I've also learned there are things in my control I can do to make things better.
I think this is what a father should tell their son or daughter when they are going through career growth.
What materials does it take to craft a unicorn? Should I pick up some gathering professions?
Kind of hype hearing that electrical engineer can do a vast array of jobs; I will be taking electrician training in a few months to get a properly employable skillset (I know different than electrical engineering but lots of overlap). Main reason for getting into that field is because there is always a demand and the meta won't drastically change at any point soon.
I work something that has an as of yet totally unknown value (not a start up) I hope what I do will make a positive change in the future
In many ways each generation was spoiled. Boomers had it easier than Gen Z, for example. It's all relative.
Telling people to just grow up and be better is more complicated than that. Someone may not have experience because of multiple factors, not just sheltered life. The same person who is sheltered may also be traumatized from bullying at school or abuse. It's not always one or the other.
I have empathy for people who people deem "lazy". It's usually never that simple. People suffer in silence much of the time, and we just like to place a simple derogatory term at them to make our own lives easier by not having to put out empathy and guilt.
People calling others lazy and spoiled are likely spoiled themselves, either in the same way or in other ways. I don't understand the knee-jerk judgments we have about each other. Are we that bored? Are we too afraid to feel emotions for others? Is it cognitive dissonance to ease our existential anxiety that people are suffering in countless, overwhelming ways everywhere? Is that why we all want to make all these answers very simple?
With how work culture is over here in the United States, it's rather demotivating going into the working world when I see how much it can control someone's life. But my mom will just gaslight by calling me "spoiled" or "lazy" in what I assume to be an attempt to get me to slave away like everyone else...
Gen Z has it easier than boomers. Each subsequent generation has had it easier than the previous. That may change soon
@@gunjack2064 Not completely true at all. It requires context. There are a lot of things that each generation has and has not gone through and it's different for each one. It's a nuanced issue and it will never end.
Thanks for enlightening me on how life works. Are you Gen Z?
@@gunjack2064 This is absolutely true of the last 100 years
People have trouble leaving their comfort zones.
Cause we addicted to comfort
Thats just...human nature. We should ideally always have some semblance of comfort in our lives at one point or another. Maybe youre learning a new skill outside of ypur comfort zone, then having a reliable comfortable job will benefit greatly. Or if youre travelling more then having a decent place to live when you return is valuable. This instagram notion of "COMFORT IS THE ENEMY" Is way overplayed, its a balance. If we feel everything we have is a crutch it just makes us anxious and self deprecating, leading to further in action
The whole human progress is for comfort
Sometimes I feel personally attacked pepelaugh but it's helpful
wtf? randomly pepelaugh emotes wtf? how pepelaugh helpful is pepelaugh that?
I am agreeing with so many things you say, it is actually scary
This is why I’m glad I went into nursing. There’s a bunch of different things you can do as a nurse. Same with other degrees, I’m sure having an engineering degree if similar?
It depends, mechanical engineering is the most general and so the easiest to move around engineering fields with; though I moved into a field that's traditionally mechanical engineering focused with a mixed electrical engineering and physics background so it's possible.
That’s great that you enjoy nursing! However, I personally know many who’ve burned out after just a couple of years, some in my own family. Feeling like we need to be having honest conversations about the realties of high stress/burnout in our healthcare & helping professions ❤️🩹
100% agree with the career stuff. I pursued game design because I had a passion for it in high school on a surface level, and now that I’m working as a designer in the industry not everything is super enjoyable. That’s fine though, and I’m still very happy with my career choice, but the idea of “find your passion and you’ll never work a day in your life” is not as binary as people make it sound.
Yep. I’m an artist, which is my dream job and my passion, and I enjoy the actual work maybe 10% of the time. Still worth it
22:30 I’ve heard ppl injure themselves on elliptical machines, which are a low impact alternative to running outside or on a treadmill. Obviously there no such thing as idiot proof and it’s probably ppl pushing themselves too hard or using the machine wrong but I bet a sound understanding of how our bodies move and how they’re not supposed to move would really help the person designing workout equipment. Not that we need more different types but there’s definitely a market for it.
The problem is, my dad loves his work and it pays well. Maybe not day in day out, but it's rather demotivating when I see I'm probably never gonna enjoy my work that much nor earn as much. I'm a programmer, so at least the earning part is decent, but when your main example of what you should be when you grow up feels so out of your league, it's impossibly demotivating.
Looking exclusively at my passions and skills I should be writing videogames or AI, but the videogame industry is notoriously bad to its employees, and the AI companies I applied to would take me. I guess one day I'll try to switch to AI again, hoping that my increased work experience will get me the job I couldn't get now, and hoping that that job will actually be as fun as I now think it will be. But that still puts me in a position where I'm gonna have to stay with a mediocre job potentially for years. It's not exactly a fun prospect.
a guy who sits home spending his parents' money on college but is not studying and just spends time playing and watching youtube is spoiled? shocker
I feel personally attacked by this comment
Parents will absolutely spoil kids and fail to parent, then blame the kid. Why stack more emotional turmoil on the kid who is in the position they're in because of the parents?
leave my exact life out of this
If he doesn’t go outside and doesn’t have any friends then i think he cannot be called spoiled. Or am i wrong?
@@LiftedBlader I...would counter that.
They have done their very best. I would've been in a much worse off situation if not for them. Yes, they're not perfect, but from a erd person's prespective, can put together who is responsible. And that would be me.
I'm me tho, i'm not others, i'm a person who knows the problem and the solution but is just too lazy to work on myself. my parents are literal godsends and i don't throw that phrase around lightly
For me, here are three steps when one has a passion.
(1) Develop an awareness of all the topics or subcategories within that passion or that closely relates to it. (2) Figure out what are the things in that passion that one specifically enjoys playing with or learning.
(3) Make a list of what others are willing to pay for within this area in general.
Then, how can I create a pathway using (2)'s to lead me to (3).
For (3), be aware of the entrepreneurial path. Though that is much harder, it provides more options. Business is pretty much the art of dealing value to people and to yourself. In dealing value to oneself, it means improving one's mindset and not letting one's mind become the bottleneck toward providing more value to others.
So I'm from Iowa but I moved to Colorado to go to a film school here. My dream is to be a film/animation director. I want to make movies that are fun or interesting to watch, but also help people. To start out I got a security job and so my income has been stable. I put a pause on starting film school because I wanted wait out the pandemic because I have ADHD and I cannot learn what I need to through online classes, I came here because I want to physically be around people and have hands on experience.
In the meantime I'm at a post where I can work on my art and writing and animation skills at my security desk and I have a stable income. Now after all this time has passed, I'm afraid to go to school because I'm scared of losing my income and this really good post I'm at. It's really expensive to live in Denver and I'm terrified I won't be able to cope with the stress of full time classes and being able to make rent while also still working.
But I don't want to be stuck in security forever, it's not a field I'm passionate about, it's just the only job I can get that will give me health insurance. I'm having second thoughts about this college because Im feeling more drawn towards animation as time passes, and this college is only for film.
I don't know if I'm spoiled for being afraid to lose my income, I'm not ungrateful for this job, but I know for a fact making movies is what I'm meant to do, but I don't know how to cope with this transition. I feel like a fraud because I'm a security guard but that's not what I want to be, but I'm too much of a coward to take that leap because I know it's incredibly difficult to make a living wage as a film director.
What should someone like me do?
Hey so I went to school for art, worked in the field for years and i personally feel as though school was a waste of money. In my experience, when you're an artist nobody cares if you have a degree, they care about your portfolio. Those fancy schools don't teach you anything you can't learn through trial and error. Keep your job, maybe cut back on some of the hours if you can, and build up your portfolio, watch tutorials, take a few cheap classes for learning a specific animation software if you need to. Post online, build a following, that's how you make it as an artist nowadays.
I think there is a balance of creating value and enjoying work. Life is not continually joyous for most. Work wont be either. But if life is miserable you know change is necessary to get past misery. Same with work.
Dr. K’s tab list is spectacularly revealing
At the beginning of the video for me:
*absolutely*
1:47 he should do both and work with Fitbit type devices
not sure if it was addressed here, but dr. k said "work is creating value". my problem with this is that no matter how hard i work or how much value i create, i will have the same fairly low salary as long as i am an employee. also, i'd recommend thinking about the role of work in our lives throughout history. nowadays you have to have a job to have the right to be exist (cf. homeless). you spend half of your awake time to work, most probably for somebody who barely pays you. most people not gonna break their necks during work because they are paid by the hour and not by performance. furthermore, you have to have a job to sustain yourself, and it's getting more common that you work to pay the rent because you need a rent to have that job, and you need that job to pay the rent, etc. so i don't think that a lot of us are just spoiled. finally, most jobs are either dumbed down to a point that anyone with an IQ higher than 90 can't enjoy, or 2-3 jobs are combined into one, and you need to be an above average performer to deal with it. most people are not like these.
Would love to see a video from you on gratitude
same
feel like i have a perfectionistic and ungrateful, maybe even anti-grateful, devil on my shoulder all the time
would really wanna know what too low standards are and what too high standards are
@@b.a.r.c.l.a.y I want to know what i should be grateful for when things aren't great, like with illness or a serious unfortunate event occuring
20:22 someone drinking grapefruit juice can easily OD on say heart medication, so that's an important thing
Also, I take Sertraline, and apparently Grapefruit doesn’t react well with certain SSRIs.
Life is suffering whether we work hard or not, striving allows us to enjoy more moments, apparently.
As someone working on structural design for cars and so fucking bored this is so applicable lol
YES
Super funny to me that he mentioned electrical engineers, that thought process is exactly why I chose that path and it's working out pretty well so far
i never thought of combining different passions lol.. what the hell it seems so obvious now