MILITARY: WATCH THIS BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED 💍
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- Опубликовано: 13 дек 2018
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Clayton Filipowicz
2789 Macarthur Rd
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Fort George G. Meade, MD 20755
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Игры
I felt like this was an important topic that needed thoughtful attention and discussion brought to it. I see so many service members get married before they're ready, and I don't really blame them. I hope I brought some more perspective and education to this topic. Feel free to (respectfully) discuss below and let me know your thoughts. - Clay
This is good and informative. But how will you find if the Marine you had a communication (like you talked or exchange messages) with on social media app is real/true people not a scammer?
Is it true that it is prohibited to had a video call to your love ones, family or wife or girlfriend if you are on a deployment especially on war zone?
I'm so confused what is better, getting married before or after in the military? Will the wife still get benefits
I’m 18 joining the marines with my gf and our baby thanks for the video
I am a psychology major and have been interested in marriage counseling. Recently i have been thinking about military marital counseling. As a civilian would it be a good idea to pursue? As a soldier would u be open to it? What r u thoughts?
Karen Joaquin I would love to know about this topic of video chatting on and off deployment
Watched this while in my barracks and my girlfriend of 4 years is on the other side of the country. It’s tough man.
Watching this while in the barracks single as fuck lol
Update actually got a girl she is in the military too so that's cool
Bryant S I have been in a long distance relationship for over a year .
Ms. Lee I’ve been in a long distance relationship for over 3 years
Jesse Arechiga yeah they ain’t my cup of tea but I madly love the man I am with. I may try to marry him in January 2021 for his b day.
I feel this a lot. My husband is a year older then me. Helped me finish my senior year of high school then we got married a month before I graduated and shipped out the 7th of August of 2018. I was going to be homeless if we didn’t get married. My family is really crappy. And I feel we rushed things. We honestly are struggling in are marriage. He never been in the dorms except for boot camp and it school. But hopefully we don’t get a divorce. I am praying we get through this hard time right now. Thank you for the advice.
Please, PLEASE seek marriage counseling. It is totally worth it.
How did things go?
update?
I hope it all worked out 💖
Yall still hanging in there?
My boyfriend and I are both going into the military and this is the most frustrating thing EVER , everyone either says get married to get payed more or don't get married because we will get cheated on .
Yea. My husband and I are very loyal to each other. My own squad tried to ruin our marriage with lies. Didn't work they ended up divorced. I'm out now and marriage is harder being out.
I admire that you talk about really important topics that get swept under the rug too often.
I feel that marriage is a more of a legal status instead of a religious one. You don't have to be religious to be married.
Atom Baxter traditionally, biblically, culturally, it’s religious.
@@Alyanmolina perhaps in the past, but marriage today is secular. You don't need religion to have marriage.
And I think that's the problem in today's modern culture, at least here in America and other Western countries. People nowadays see marriage as little more than a legality that you complete when you sign a piece of paper. There's just not a widespread idea of marriage being a sacred, holy, lifelong committment between two people before God (obviously amongst the non or less religious folk) and I think that has been a contributing factor to people getting divorced so easily. Or rushing into things before they're ready, because really, who amongst the younger generation and even older, actually comprehend what it means to be with one person for the rest of your life? There's just such a lack of commitment and effort in marriage and honestly in other social relationships that, in my opinion, is part of the reason why the culture is deteriorating so quickly.
You don’t need religion you need God
@@Barbiethebarbiechannel. God is not a religion , He is a relationship.
Very good topic!
From experience, this Devil speaks truth.
This really helped me understand everything that is going on honestly. My fiancé is in the military and out of nowhere he came back on medical leave and then he wanted me to go with him and I obviously told him that I couldn’t cause I wanted to finish college first and get my degree. But this video really opened my eyes to what information they are telling him and how all the puzzle pieces are being put together. I love my fiancé and we have been together for 7(+) years and 2 of those engaged and having this information explained to me really helps on why it was so sudden for me to leave and go with him with a drop of a hat.
Daddy filpo out here spitting the truth for our military guys and gals
Very good advice and a serious topic.
Great video and sound advice! You get right to the point!! I salute you!!!
My husband and I have been together to include dating for 12 years. He waited to enlist until we were more or less settled and he finished school.
I want to add, it is so important to be patient and communicate with your partner. While BCT they can't talk, but you can write and usually they can write back (though they are really tired). One day at a time.
Thank you for ur words!
I was at the premiere, but all your points really resonated with me I’m talkin to someone and I want to be sure this is where I want to be before I dive right into marriage after BMT. This really puts perspective into the counter argument.
Glad to see you upload, man. I hope you're doing well. I appreciate the wisdom, and I agree with your position.
Really God's wisdom
Thank you Clayton! This video was extremely helpful.....
This really made a lot of sense
Papi Filpo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glad to see your back!
I don’t think it’s an issue.
1. People who marry in the force tend to stay longer. This equates to sustainment, readiness, and experience.
2. Spouses that are happy with their significant other’s service encourage them to stay longer.
3. Happy marriages create self-appreciation and worth.
4. Marriages create a fighting spirit. For example, I’m fighting because my family is back home waiting for me.
Ya, there is a share of good and bad marriages in all the services. That said, most of their stats supporting the idea that marriage increases readiness and stability in the force.
Eh, there are solid numbers showing that service members have a higher divorce rate than civilians, especially when they leave the service and the incentive to stay married is removed. And with the Marine Corps retention being lower than the other services, that's more people than ever getting divorced and having to navigate the civilian world without military structure or as much 'incentive' to stay married. Also, if you think newcoming service members are disenfranchised after they walk in, imagine how disconnected dependents are. They think it's gonna be rainbows and butterflies, and it's not. Especially when the service member leaves the military and isnt getting paid nearly as much to support their wife/husband/kids.
I'm not denying that there is a fair share of additional problems caused by service or separation. That said, the military will do what they can do sustain the force.
www.army.mil/article-amp/212578/study_reveals_impact_of_army_families_on_retention_recruiting
Sure, the study referenced in the story might be slated to benefit the Army or DOD. The fact that they funding something like this shows that families are important to the military and will continue to be in the future.
That isn't the argument at hand though brah. The problem I'm pointing out is that young troops are rushing into marriages that they wouldn't have committed to if not for the incentives provided by the military. And furthermore, it's sensible to say that the heart of that problem is low morale and poor living conditions. Fix those, and young troops will be less eager to marry a monster and move out in town.
Suits-n-Boots Young people who join the military are extremely lonely and vulnerable. They fall in love so fast that it appears to be irrational. The fresh out of high school crowd doesn’t know any better and then marriage and kids happen which create a force field. Yes there’s happy marriages but people forget that marriage is not a fairy tale and that people will do through up and downs and highs a low. Point blank the military is a sub culture within a sub culture especially when there’s bonus pay when it comes to marriage
Thanks Clay
Finally a military video!!!
The beginning of this video was extremely boring. But as the video reaches the half way point it’s gets so much more informational
Kinda sounds like you got married to get out of the barracks.
Interesting. Thank you for your information.
I recognize a lot of the names of the people who commented on this video. Lots of people from the stream, that makes me happy! Great video, Clay!
Hello Maggie, how’re you doing today?
I hope all is well with you?
Do better
I was already married so GG🤣
Marriage is not just a “Church” thing! It is is key to societal stability and is to the benefit of the society as a whole that families and marriages remain strong and tax breaks are a small way of incentivizing people to stick it out and make things work.
100% I would say be more careful about WHO you marry though. A lot of Millennials are VERY selfish and it takes actual work and respect to stay married and there will always be more benefits to marriage than singleness. Coming from someone who the 5th year of my marriage became very rocky and still working it out today. Much has changed but we still have a ways to go but wouldn't want to fight life with anyone else but him period.
That's true
Very very true
Everything you said is true 💯. My ex married for the same reason,but didn't marry me. Thank the Lord
😂😂
Rah 27yrs old Cpl, been in for 4yrs (I know boot) but holy molly you hit the nail on the head, love your videos man
Finally another military related video. You the best 🤘🏽👌🏽💯
"Big ol' dummy" 😂
I really like the way you speak. Your very well spoken and easy to understand.
Thanks for the kind words!
Yeah, him and Christopher Chaos are both well-spoken and charismatic.
Was stationed in camp lejeune, NC and boy did i see ALOT of marriage for benefits (BAH, COMRATS)...had quite a few friends that did it. Really is rampant in the military.
Ladies and gentlemen... Papi Filpo is back !!! Great vid bro keep it up
🙏
Great video!
i was one of those kids that drank all the kool aid, god was enlistment a wake up call
how wonderful marriage is.
Preach 👏
What happens if I'm enlisted and not married and I get married when they send me to my stationed base?
Thank you man I’m currently stuck on marrying someone and I’ve been thinking long term about it but I still might fall through with it. I don’t want to be a sergeant on base 🤣💯
What would suck with being a Sargent on base? Just curious
Thank you! The video helped a lot I've been debating, about marriage that is not an easy choice, & thats exactly what I talked about with him counseling or a class in marriage because its important to know what marriage is & even though I will get my degree next semester I still want to persuade a higher degree & want him to be sure that's what he wants. A lot to take specially already having a kid, it's a huge change for me as a single mom. Specially always being the provider & head of household I don't know what scares me the most, marriage or having someone taking that "power away from me" as I become a military spouse
I feel like i needed to see this. My fiancé just went to basic. Its hard because weve been living together for almost a year and together for quite a while. I know we can do long distance, we’ve done it before. Im just scared that when we do get married there wont be any options for me to be with him wherever hes stationed. My father was a marine and says they don’t provide as many options for the spouse as some other branches. But i don’t know.
An ex of mine in high school found a new sweet heart who enlisted, got engaged a few days before he even went to boot camp😂
Thank you for sharing this now I have an idea to be come a wife of a us military soon
When the coach embraces the suck by telling us to yell I like it! I’m like yeah I like it by a rating of 2 out of 10.
I’ve noticed TONS of enlisted personnel in the US military getting married. Surprised this showed up in my algi
Oh hi mark 😂 bout time you post, keep it up brotha❤️🇺🇸
I understood that reference
Chris Wolff you called 😂
Watching this in my shitty barracks room right now haha
My boyfriend and I had a long distance relationship in the same state. He’s in the Air Force. We have a connection with each other. We’ve been going slow in our relationship. We both have great respect for each other. We’ve been together since 2019, we’ve had some hiccups along the way, but by golly, Papa God, got us back together many times I feel like. He’s so patient with me. I’m supposed to hang out with him this weekend after his reserves here in Houston. God Bless, I have three family members who were veterans. So I have a deep respect for the military.
I am not settling down, until I get out of the Army.
I really wish I would’ve seen this video before I got married I really do! Love ya brother
Hopefully it can help these ladies and gents for years to come. Mabye
good video bro ....keep em coming PapiFilpo
AYYYY thanks Bullit!
Young Enlisted men serving in ANY combat capacity SHOULD NOT be distracted or burdened by romantic considerations. Doing so can ONLY bring misery. Godspeed, young man....and I deeply "thank you" for choosing to serve in the military of The United States...Stay alive.
Great vid
Navy keeps E-5 in barracks as well.
In the school house and my gunnies were making fun of me saying my wife’s probably at home cheating at me. 😂
Navy does the E-5 thing as well
I’m join with my wife and son. She’s is amazing and I couldn’t imagine life without her. But I’m watching because basic will be hard for her and myself. As she will be essentially a single mom for a while. But we will be together after that. And BAH, does seem like it’ll help.
Army keeps e5 in the barracks as well
Watching this while I patiently wait for my boyfriend to get his re-enlistment contract offers. We've been together for almost 5 months not (we make 5 months on the 14th of April). He's already been in the military for 10 years and I caught him on his 9 year mark. We are already discussing getting married , however, we've been into the background of each other's lives for 6 years, and met without actually introducing ourselves to each other 2 years ago in 2019. This confirmed that my boyfriend and I are getting married for all the right reasons! Being long distance is so hard for us! We're definitely ready for the next step
I feel sorry for him being cheated on by you
@@andrewcruz3837 LMFAO! Jokes on your. We’re married & having abba by now🤣
@@katt2570 for now then you’ll cheat and take everything from him
@@andrewcruz3837 you can continue projecting your insecurities back onto yourself! We’re very happy in Our loyal & faithful marriage! BYE
@@katt2570 lmao she said loyal like you know what that word even means
I'm 17 on July 20th and I have a boyfriend currently in quarantine for 2 weeks before boot camp in San Diego. We moved pretty fast because we weren't friends very long before he asked what we were. I started dating him a few days after our first date. Anyways we moved pretty fast and we had atleast 10 dates before he left on June 20th. He said goodbye to me and then he texted me at the airport before he arrived in San Diego for quarantine. I believe in waiting to get married, because my sister got married a bit later than 5 years of dating her husband. They waited until after they had a home and they didn't get home until like 5 or 6 years of dating. I know I'm a bit young since I just finished Junior year in high school. I think about this kind of thing though since I've seen people talking about it a lot. The whole married in the military thing when they're 18 years old. I don't know if I want that or not. I have tons of time to think about that, but I stumbled across this video. I think it's very informative and thank you for thinking about young people like me. I'm also thinking about joining the marine corps next summer. I've wanted it since I was in 7th grade and I'm a guest in the Delayed entry program. I have no clue what mos I want, and I still have a ton of work until I'm a poolee or even shipping out. I just like to have ideas though and think about these things early.
Well I’m already married and my man decides to join the army...
Thanks Clay! How was it when you first checked in to your new unit or better said when you first hit the fleet?
It can be nerve wracking. Do your best to contact your unit, a call or email. Mostly just call. Keep your taxi receipts or uber or whatever you use from the air port to reporting. WEAR YOUR ALPHAS BRO, and make sure your uniform isn't jacked up.
Hey Clayton thanks for this video, I’m planning to join the Navy, God willing. I’m actually going to swear in tomorrow, if the Lord wants. I’m delighted to know that the military would support my fiancée and I financially AS LONG AS we get married. I’m planning to marry her after A school.
Hey how’d it go between the two of you!!
Its not about that what he have to do in the Millitary...
Its about his clothes😉🥰
This was a good video to watch. I am currently a poolee for the Marines out of California I ship out to Mcrdsd on the 26th of August and I’m going to be an 0800 Artillery man. My girlfriend is in Basic training rn for the army at Fort sill, OK she is gonna be a Combat Medic. We plan on getting married in December when I finish bootcamp and she comes back on leave that way it’ll be a tad easier inna sense to find ways to be closer or something. We’ve discussed the topic quite a bit and I write her a lot but it’s kinda hard to discuss stuff through letters sumtimes. I was gonna ask your opinion on the matter since I’m Marines and she’s Army how do you think that’ll be? Either way I do plan on marrying her and spending my life with her but like will the military make it harder for us to be together? What’s your take?
That's tough man. Only you know what's right. I did long distance for 3 years in the Marines and it sucks ass.
How’s it going right now? I’m in a same predicament
I leave for San Diego Jan 28th! India company ! Wish me luck
My wife just joined and she just got out of AIT and now she's suddenly acting like she give up on us and she keeps saying "idk" when I ask if we are staying together. What do I do? We have been together for 5 years before we got married
She’s cheating
Officialnakoma good catch definitely cheating. Lol.
Set her straight, man. You are her husband, you're the boss. Don't ask her what she wants, tell her she married you for life and she's in it for life.
@@em9361 thanks man we worked it out. It was a hell of a ride though
@@hollowrun glad to hear that man. I'll keep you both in my prayers.
What do you think about people going from one branch to another branch
Me watching this in the barracks tired of PFC pay 👁👄👁 my RUclips feed is getting too specific
I'm thinking of marrying to this guy I've talking to for a awhile. Not because of the money, but because I've in and out of relationships since 2019 when I was in school, but I feel like I need to make a change in my life. We both like each other a lot and he's moving next summer to either Germany, Tokyo, or the UK. He's trying to find work outside of the US. I want to make him happy. I don't want to be that same girl who kept seeing different guys every few months. He's in the Navy.
Dont do it bro.
I also asked my future husband (a military man) to change jobs and Alhamdulillah
I enlisted at 24, I'm 26 now & contemplating marriage. The barracks in Japan aint it
barracks life for a couple years > lifetime of misery with a shitty partner
2:26 i felt that :(
I have decided that for me to join our country would have to on the break of full scale war like most people have done in the past like with 9/11, pearl harbor and the Spanish American war
My one NCO at my first shop told me to not get married...on the ride from the front gate to the barracks lol. It’s funny how that was legit the first thing he mentions, but it’s for good reason.
Funny enough, I had a very similar experience. That goes to show just how rampant this problem is
ur eyes are so pretty
thank ya!
questionnn? my husband is already in && i’m only 17 and as well joining after i graduate would it be hard for us to get stationed together if i’m already living with him
So long as yall are legally married, they should station you two together! Don't hesitate to let your admin folks know this info once you get to MOS school.
I am joining the Marines soon I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years and I know she is the one I want to be with. but it's going to be a long distance relationship and we are both still young (19) does it make sense for me to marry her sooner rather than waiting a couple years?
Wait till your in for like 2 years and see how it goes
I’m dating someone in the army but he is asking me to married him but we been talking for 4 months. So I don’t know if it’s real love or like you said to get benefits
It could be. Make him wait at least a year because divorce isn't something you want
DO NOT DO IT!
Marlon Moncrieffe why did you have a bad experience?
@@preondagraham1788 No, just a lot of research.
Remember the fable of the wise fox and the aging lion in a cave...
Marry him. Yes there are financial benefits , but ever think he love you? Maybe bro just knows he found the one in you and it’s get married or in his mind possibly loose you forever!
It is easier for people who are married in the military if you are not both in the military. Most of the time it ends in DIVORCE if both are in the military. They used to called spouses in the military DEPENDENTS! Married people live in their own home. Single people live in the barracks if they are low rank and get extra duty to cover for married people who they do not work on the weekend!
my childrens father asked me to marry him when he goes to the military... I'm not so sure about it. maybe if we go to pre-marital counselling.. maybe
Great video, thank you.
As soon as I see "bf" or "gf" in the comment section, I just wish that people would wait till marriage. It is the best filter I swear. You will then end up with your husband or wife only and not have 5 other casual relationships beforehand.
I’m currently in a relationship with an enlisted been together for 5 months he’s asking me to get married I was down but now I don’t know
Princess Yasmine yes
@@britneybaby636 DON'T DO IT
I hope you have NOT done it!
I want to join the Air Force or Marines, I've got a long distance gf in the Philippines. Once I'm past BMT and tech school, after about a year's time, and I wanna get married and bring her here. How will that work? Will the marriage thing be difficult because she's not a U.S. citizen? I imagine how it works is, proxy marriage with fiance visa > she gets approved to come to U.S. and becomes a citizen > the military provides me housing or BAH now that I'm married > she can live with me and work off base/go to school. Can someone tell me if that is realistic? It is the best case scenario for us and I'm wondering if it's possible.
What if you fell like you are ready to meet a partner who is a soldier
Ya getting marriage is privilege in the US Military. You do not live like a convict in the barracks, even the lowest rank enlisted gets a good home with the wife and usually child from his high school hook up and more money! I live for 3 years in the barracks and it sucked!
Whatsup Clayton
sup leo!
Help!!!
How long do i have to wait for remarry after divorce ?
Couldn't you now just marry your battle buddy for bah
My fiancé and I are getting married next month but he joined the military 2 years into dating and we lived together so it just makes sense that we would want to continue being together. Hoping I don’t overthink it now
Good luck
Just don't cheat on him and hope he doesn't cheat on you.
I’m a little confused let’s say u get married right his in the military active duty I know I been told u go with him wherever he goes u go but I’m wondering can the women still work for herself specially for those of us who love to be independent because I hear all this stories n no ones told me oh by the way I work while my husbands in the military
Yep! Spouses can still work for themselves. They just have the extra wrinkle of having to relocate jobs every four or five years.
For one to “embrace the suc” you must experience the suc. Lol
Barracks?
Brendon Schuabs white cousin lmao
Keep in mind ALL women need more safety and maybe they view it as the job they are here to be how qualified are you to protect and love one woman more then yourself it’s a military mind to feel in love and guard a life over your own
Question if you could offer any advice: my best friend is in the Marines and he's really tired of living on the baracks. I come from a low income family and I'm about to graduate and hopefully go to college but it's going to super difficult to pay for it. He suggested we get married so we can both live in a house and he would help me pay for college. With all the benefits it sounds like a pretty good deal and since we aren't going into it as romantic partners but just friends I don't think divorce would be super difficult on us emotionally if we ever split up. My main concern is that one of both of us would actually find a romantic partner and that would make things complicated with his job because they would somehow realize something fishy is going on. Do you think it's worth it to get married for the benefits as friends?
Why you have to purchase the leave forms
Reply
Can I bring my wife along with me. Seriously though I wanna join but the Navy and I have my wife and child how do things with in that case