6 Things A Dismissive Avoidant Say That Trigger Anxious Preoccupied People

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  • Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
  • In this video, Coach Courtney Gatlin talks about 6 Things Dismissive Avoidant People Say That Trigger Anxious People.
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Комментарии • 36

  • @Dreamsareareality
    @Dreamsareareality 2 года назад +7

    Coach Court thank you. I have heard some of these words said to me and yes they used to be triggers but now I am learning how to not respond to everything being said to me. Over the last year I have really done a lot of work on myself it's helped a lot. Thank you for helping me. 👍🏽❤️

    • @IamCoachCourt
      @IamCoachCourt  2 года назад +1

      Thank you for consistently watching my channel ❤️

  • @reymariee
    @reymariee 2 года назад +21

    when you bring up an issue "what are you talking about" "sorry i cant make u happy" "idk what to tell you"

    • @samcha6114
      @samcha6114 2 года назад +6

      I laughed out loud because he told LITERALLY all four statements and English is not even our native language!

  • @missware2677
    @missware2677 2 года назад +16

    It’s been one year and I haven’t heard any of these comments from him because I give him 10 times more space than he needs . I’m a very secure person but meeting this DA almost turned me into Anxious… but I got my power back . He rather gets anxious when he doesn’t hear from me because I come across as someone who doesn’t ‘need’ the relationship.

  • @jacekbil
    @jacekbil 2 года назад +18

    1.When in dysputę avoidant says - I am good.
    2. I am not there yet - I need more time to be commited
    3. Seems like you trying to change me
    4. I need some space
    5. You are a big girl/boy
    6. I cant give you what you need

    • @volperossa2020
      @volperossa2020 2 года назад +3

      hi! are u still trying to get back your gf? are u in contact with her?

    • @jacekbil
      @jacekbil 2 года назад +4

      @@volperossa2020 2 montchs no contact ex in a rebound and I got blocked. Lost case Sister

  • @Eg-jd9zt
    @Eg-jd9zt Год назад +2

    Most toxic dynamic ever. No matter how hard you try to be secure these avoidant people are toxic. I tried it all. Giving him space, not making assumptions, etc. the hurtful comments he’d made and avoiding me for days and ignoring calls (mind you he always initiated i rarely called and it was on his terms), is so toxic. I’m happy I’m out after only a short few months

  • @volperossa2020
    @volperossa2020 2 года назад +6

    I would add onother one..like we are on a date (being in a relationship for 6 months) and out of the blue he tells me "I want to fall in love".. and you like... " wtf..whats wrong with this guy🤦‍♀️. "

  • @athinak7524
    @athinak7524 2 года назад +8

    My DA and I (Anxious preoccupied I guess)we Know each other for almost 25 years on and off.. the last 3 years we are back again in terms like friends with benefit..My DA has said to me most of the sentences that you said and also "The Faster you will run away from me,the better for you", or "As long as you are besides me the most you will be hurt"..I replied to him in funny essence "I am not going anywhere , I will be around you wherever you go..you are the earth , I am the moon.. A satellite..Round and round..😂" He smiled and hugged me..Avoidant dismissive need to be loved by us but they need their space also..If you love them you have to accept them as they are..It is not that they do not have feelings for their partners, I believe that they have ,that's why they are coming back but it is vital for them to feel that they are independent and free birds..That they can take their motorbike and go for a ride few hours without us to complain about this..The "Bird" has to be free to fly in order to be happy, do not put it in the cage..It took me many many years to realize it...Let them free and they will always be yours❤

  • @elliekudou8592
    @elliekudou8592 2 года назад +2

    Dear coach everything u said was so so true specially no3 "you're trying to change me " I never tried to change him only giving better advice or route as u said. Idk how to seriously deal w him. Everything I tried to do just be misunderstood. Been called a child clingy needy and I dont wanna teach ignorant person like u.

  • @luisacordero1501
    @luisacordero1501 2 года назад +2

    Thank you for another great teaching video. I am learning so much. I didn’t know that I was being triggered to recall past memories where someone said they wanted space but later got angry for me for respecting them. I learned to walk on eggshells.

  • @smores8982
    @smores8982 2 года назад +3

    This may sound odd but I have found myself to be in both shoes, a dismissive avoidant and an anxious person. It depends if I’m truly invested in a man. If I’m not as invested, I become a dismissive avoidant. But everything you’ve listed is 💯 accurate. I don’t mind with bids of asking for my opinion but I once had a guy ask me “would I like this sauce?” when we ordered a dish that came with sauce on the side. I found it to be annoying because only he would know the answer to that and the only way for him to find out is to try it. It’s one thing to ask someone their opinion (i.e., if they think a suit/dress looks good on you), but never ask someone if THEY think you would like it. It comes across as too dependent

    • @IamCoachCourt
      @IamCoachCourt  2 года назад +4

      That’s not odd at all. You’re attachment can change due to who you’re in a relationship with or relationship experience.

  • @adoptioncorner1984
    @adoptioncorner1984 2 года назад +7

    Number 6!! Heard it many times from my avoidant. I 😔

    • @IamCoachCourt
      @IamCoachCourt  2 года назад +2

      Thanks for sharing.
      Please subscribe to the channel! 🙏🏾

  • @elliekudou8592
    @elliekudou8592 2 года назад +3

    I have a very very very important question I don get about da. At first they're perfect open and trusting u so so a lot and then ...... they make things up in their head accusing u of running every good thing in our relation and then kick u out (maybe lil lik it) why they change and rip ur heart out of u making u feel GUILTYYYY it's how we feel. Like they were giving enjoying non stop then BAM they turn on u and be punisher. Why?

  • @daughteroftheking6402
    @daughteroftheking6402 Год назад

    He told me he loved me through text and asked me to move in with him, he makes jokes about me moving in, he sees me when he wants, and doesn’t take accountability for anything, not only that he sees nothing wrong with his actions and is cold and distant and disrespectful if he doesn’t get his way. Why is it, he can do what he wants and say what he wants without consequences but the moment I do he blocks me. Comes back months later no change and no apology. Which attachment style is that? It’s a year and I never had a phone call from him, or a date… says it’s my fault and he puts all the effort on me and gets mad if I don’t step up in a way he should be stepping up.

  • @swcrossii
    @swcrossii 2 года назад +4

    Much respect for your content good sir. May I request you create content reviewing a DA and SA person? I am deeply SA and I was slowly dismembered and broken over 3.5 years by a DA - quite literally had a micro-heart attack and now can’t see through my right eye because of the cortisol pimple that formed behind my retina.

    • @IamCoachCourt
      @IamCoachCourt  2 года назад +1

      Thanks a lot for your contribution!
      Subscribe to the channel if you haven’t!

  • @valeriel2122
    @valeriel2122 2 года назад +2

    Thank you Coach Court. You’re bang on with this.

  • @andrew-isac
    @andrew-isac 2 года назад +1

    Thats very accurate and one of your best videos

  • @rossskowronek4881
    @rossskowronek4881 2 года назад +3

    We love your content
    Thank you

    • @IamCoachCourt
      @IamCoachCourt  2 года назад +1

      Thanks for commenting Ross 🙏🏾

  • @Di...747
    @Di...747 2 года назад +3

    Laugh out loud you have green circles around your eyes

  • @opusandtarquez
    @opusandtarquez 2 года назад +2

    First!! 👊🏾

  • @swcrossii
    @swcrossii 2 года назад

    If by chance you and/or your community would benefit from my case study and/or a self-aware and erudite conversation derived from my experience, I would like to contribute.

  • @andrew-isac
    @andrew-isac 2 года назад +1

    Thats very accurate and one of your best videos

  • @andrew-isac
    @andrew-isac 2 года назад +1

    Thats very accurate and one of your best videos

  • @andrew-isac
    @andrew-isac 2 года назад +1

    Thats very accurate and one of your best videos