LOTS of complaints that people aren’t getting emails this week : 1. When you join my mailing list on Richardgrannon.com you must confirm your desire to be on the list by replying to the email we immediately send you. It’s called a “double opt in”. I use an American company and it has to be done this way 🙏😎 🇺🇸 Please confirm your subscription and then 2. white list / safe list my email.
I also have written this in the last video you made. Never get the mail for tge confirmation PLUS at the helpdesk no one replies EVER. I have written several times. Please get this fixed and check for yourself.
"screenshotters of whatsap messages, recorders of conversations, keepers of dates" - I have hundreds of conversaions recorded and thousands, if not 10's of thousands, of screenshots. EXCEPT for a few very specific recorded phone convos that were deleted from my phone, while it was in my possession, when it somehow connected itself to the internet apparently remotely. I also have things missing because the narc managed to get access to my house key and used it to steal random items, some of which I didn't notice for 2+ years but when i did, i knew exactly where and when they disappeared. Many criminal offences, including lying to police - but all would be considered "petty" offences and not worth polices' time. BUT taken together, they represent a crime that isn't on the books, so there is no punishment for, which would be destruction of a mind, a life, a character and decades of my life, the last decade in particular, after I began seeing red flags and stupidly pointed one of them out to the narc, my younger brother.
My apologies. I have changed it with my personal e mail address and it does work. Weird because my work address i use it almost for anything but if I use that i don't get the automatic mail at all. Anyway it's true at helpdesk don't answer, maybe they don't receive my e mail as well? Double weird it's a mail for an institution. Glad i was able to join!!
Really good video Richard….I love the cozy back ground, and decor .. kudos to your decorator. ….but I have a question….why do you gotta make me cry like that damit?!?! 😢……your not my real dad ya know 😢😝🤨☺️😘
It's how you associate with things so they make you associate all kinds of things and situations with just abuse and negative experiences. It's why people are scared of doing or learning anything these days you could tell them it's alright because it is or it could be to train them but point blanc they won't do it they'll be exceptionally difficult because all they're seeing is their emotional flashbacks. Everyone to some point suffer with some form of ptsd these days i don't know how this is considered a good or useful type of culture globally it's not it's just destructive. They become so skeptical of anything that is actually real and legit too to the point they think you're trying to hurt them but the main fear is the repercussions of it if they dare even so much as associate themselves with the thing that is real even if it could help them or they need to. I get why because narcissists constantly watch everything you do and pick at every tiny thing ever changing each day to suit their needs. It makes you feel really abnormal in each way they make out to be "abnormal" even teachers are doing it to their students to make them do what they want them to do and i think they really need to ask themselves is it worth hurting generations of people over temporary and highly unrealistic work targets they can never achieve? and i know they're all being put through the same things as we are and soon find out they only see you as replaceable. The whole culture is based around abusive behaviors and here in england it's really bad how peoples growth as people has been stunted to the point they wouldn't even think about putting their bag in front of the door in a bathroom stall if the lock is broken. I've literally had other women go "oh i wouldn't have thought of doing that" as they saw me open the door and pick my bag up, umm i'm going to bite my tongue on that because i don't see how you couldn't realize that like are you dumb? lol but okay you really didn't. That shocks me that people haven't learned even the simplest common sense things, but i get why now having experienced the whole debacle that is society and how i've always been thrown into the den of people with all kinds of behavioral issues that nobody can cope with. Why people are so scared and how you're made to associate all sorts of things with pure fear and trauma i don't know how this is existence.
I just went through the devaluation stage in a relationship with a female narcissist. I ended it breaking it off because of videos like this and the abuse was insane. She completely changed. All the love gone, silent treatment, lack of affection, gaslighting, etc etc. the list goes on and on. I need to complete your course because she absolutely got in my head a made me so anxious and infatuated with researching the topic. It is unbelievable how accurate all this information along with all Richard’s information is exactly what happened. I need to complete the course. I had no idea people like this existed (I’m an empath). It’s the sickest thing I’ve ever experienced. They all deserve to be in jail
You are having a NORMAL reaction to an ABNORMAL behavior. I felt sick for years. Whenever he would call and leave a message, I would tremble. I had migraine headaches, nightmares. He was using his behavior as a means of controlling me and everyone else. THEN, one day, I said to him, "I can't have a relationship with you. I'm an equal half of this and this half is done." When I chose to walk away, I still missed him. He was my father. I had to learn to love some people from a distance. We're not always meant to be in relationships EVEN the ones we feel we should be in. Okay, take care of yourselves. You're worth it.
However, there are those of us who for different reasons cannot remove themselves from a relationship with a narcissist. So we have to find ways to remove ourselves mentally.
@@RippleDrop.Give yourself some time,it took me longer than 3 years.I'm in my 40's my parents in their late 70's and still trying same technics on me,now I think about it as "same shit, different day". What helped me was to realized that I'm grown woman and what's the worst that they can do to me that they haven't already done? I would get stomach problems only from a text on a phone - I would go for a run or walk stairs couple of times to calm down before reading it and again before answering it. I had to stop listen to some music even though I love it,but it kept me depressed or feeling like a helpless teenager. Hope it helps and good luck
@@itsacarthing8541it's kinda logical it takes long,if you had to take mental abuse from a parent/parents for 20,30 or whatever years, it's gonna take some time.First thing I learned was to be patient with myself - selflove was a new concept for me and I was in my late 30's. One of my friends is a therapist and the smartest thing she ever told me was,( after I said that i wish I started my healing journey earlier in life ) don't feel sorry I have clients in their 60's,70's even 80's that are starting with therapy.
I still have the apparently common in survivors dizzyness... My inner ear just can't tell left from right or up from down anymore in that state. The body manifests what our cognitive dissonance doesn't let through? All that gaslighting made me lose all orientation! I am very, very glad that Rich's NLP comedy finally managed to fly under the radar with lulz, and made me realize!
@@ForestTiefling glad you realized, longest journey on the road is the healing journey although hard it is so worth it. Survivors journey is like that song by Christina Aguilera “fighter”, “after all you put me through, You'd think I'd despise you, But in the end, I wanna thank you 'Cause you made me that much stronger.”
nice one! I have to admit, one of my guilty fantasies I sometimes entertain (still possesed!) is blasting his apartement with Dance with the Dead's "the Man who made a Monster" one day. But I shouldn't care, except for that music being exceptional. And my glow-up game being real!
My narcissist mother caused depression in 7 of her 10 children . One took his own life because of her endless abuse. They laugh at your pain and she said depression was a load of crap no such thing. Bullshit she would never admit to. I was addicted to fixing her all throughout my life it became an obsession in me which turned to hatred in me and bitterness. After she died I started to heal And I prayed for the obsession to be taken away. I loved her but it's pity for the broken damaged child that was in her. Same with my x boyfriend and his narcissism. Laughing at me when I had a breakdown and was admitted to hospital. Thought he was better than the psychiatrist. Heartless bastard. They are so cold and sadistic. Their behaviour is a joke. They mess you about and fuck you up and walk away. Leaving a mess behind everywhere they go. Every woman they cheat on you with is also badly abused. You have to value peace and protection of your mind and soul. They love drama even as elderly people. They make shit of people. But getting away is difficult because you think that they can love you. But they can't
I've been going through this for 33yrs of unhappy marriage. I don't have the money to leave. I'm 71 now and my body has been going this. It's a fight for my soul EVERY single day with this man. I'm at this point where I don't love or have ANY feelings for this man.....I just DON'T care anymore, he's broken my heart. NOW I work on myself....I say now every morning to myself is "I see him..but I don't see him"...I hear him..but I don't hear him. I don't play his game since I can't leave him. I stopped talking to him, I stopped looking at him, because eye contact is the start to a conversation. Since my husband will not get involved with anything I like to do....I'm off doing what I enjoy to do....and leave him sitting in his chair watching TV...yaking on his phone....and ALWAYS talking politics
Yes he is. Once in a while I watch and he's summarizing some thoughts I've also had. It makes a difference knowing you're not alone and Richard has been an inspiration for over ten years. Godspeed and thank you brother. 💚
I am currently in the change of my life an absolutely so scared I Cry I am so heartbroken for the first time in my life I feel like you have to be so strong supposed to say I'm being strong I don't know what to say I thank you and I'm educating myself and I have been a prisoner of both parents and his sister and I still am so heartbroken and Confused because I guess I just want everybody to love each other and support each other and build each other up and and now that I well it doesn't matter I am being controlled but not anymore and this is a road I thought I'd never travel
@@jameslynch8738 yes and I was always accused if I picked up my phone and it might have been doing something wrong but it was also wrong. Oh it's just been ridiculous I don't even have social media well I'm obviously now because I'm learning how to talk on the phone I just push the microphone and it hopefully picks up my words correctly but when I sometimes back when it doesn't. But anyways I still don't want social media I just like the idea of realizing for the first time in my life I have truly been controlled that's nothing I did because I was always submissive. I was married 25 years I have raised seven children I have five amazing Sons and two amazing daughters but because of the narcissistic behaviors they have all been turned against me because I was the one that thought the divorce and tried to get strong. But now I am living for the very first time in my life ever I'm paying my own bills and my own place to live I'm educating myself on some of these falsehoods of people's characters meaning their narcissistic and I'm at the very tips of regaining my children again I think I must be talking too much I'm sorry I'm just thankful to actually hear things that I it doesn't matter I'm grateful
@@dawnpahnerhope things are settling down for you. You can do this , and believe me , be better off without them. Being strong alone is easier than staying strong around narcs
Richard saved me from life with narcissist after decade. I found his videos in 2019, more I watched more I put together, come lockdown I took opportunity to leave, I’m now happier than ever been and I love myself wholeheartedly, I spent decade with toxic narcissist type person and it did me no favors. Strange that my mom was similar personality, therapist says my brain thinks it’s familiar and confuses situation with love. I’m learning. It takes time. Good people do still exist.
Religious cults use the same tactics to lure you in and bind you. Especially the Abrahamic ones are particulary nasty. They are evil with a shiny wrapper.
Ephesians 6:12 NLT For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
I did the unplug from the matrix course along with a therapist . It took my almost 6 months to complete doing the exercises everyday and it was very easy to incorporate into my day. The hard part is the actual processing of the information I was very emotional and needed my therapist to break down what I was feeling. I would recommend this course a 100%but the real healing only happens if you are willing to be real,honest,humble,and truly want to heal. I was very physically ill while doing this course and was close to dying at different points. To live I needed to break these bonds to be sane and whole I needed to heal my life literally depended on this. I include the need for my doctor's,specialists,eating properly,excercise,therapy all of this is important to heal the whole of you. I thought I had a gambling problem that was just a maladaptive habit digging in was so much harder but worth it. I am healing my mind is clearer my body is much better and my mind is my own. The work is hard but running away is so much harder.
Thank you for sharing. Its helped me understand some of the crazy ups and downs my body has been going through for the past year. God bless you, and good luck with your healing journey moving forward. 🙏🏻❤️💪🔥☯️🖖
No matter how much innerwork and therapy sessions i do, the only people I encounter are narcissistic and their minions. Even within my own family or social and business network. So I stay clear from external relationships where possible. It is just me, my Self and my heavenly father. This life on earth in the present and in the past is not for true sincere romantic life because evil incarnated.
Also the insane part shows up when you tell someone that cares about you what the narcissist says to you and they can’t understand why in the world you stay yet you yourself feel under their power ! Even disliking the man but under their hold wow so true thank you
I was thinking… we internalized our narcissistic parents, and of the narcissistic abusers we were drawn to, and we kept hearing their voices and their malevolent intentions running constantly along the neuropaths they created in our brains. So I have adopted the practice of “ internalizing” the words of Jesus, the words of my support team, the words of a few fellow travelers who “get it” and still love me. I do this out loud, because my sexually abusive parents, both narcissists and one also sociopathic hurled their abusive words out loud into my developing brain. I’m superimposing new, kind, healing words over the old ones that ride along my old neuropaths. And it seems to be disintegrating the old paths. My best friend, who’s a trauma therapist, says that the new overlays of positive , loving messages actually chemically destroy the old toxic pathways. What are your thoughts on that? You have literally brought me back from the walking dead, into new life. You're my favorite podcaster on Narcissistic Abuse. Your humor is extraordinary! I find myself laughing out loud! Laughter--the best medicine. Thank you, from the bottom of my glued-together heart! You’re an absolute treasure.
to break the hold of Narcissistic women, i stopped dating 14 years ago. being addicted to a narcissistic person is like being addicted to a drug or anything else . The only way to stop it, is to remove yourself from that environment. if you can't do that you'll always be a whimpering coward that gets abused and your life will be a pathetic disaster. My current project is to relieve myself of all the narcissistic people in my work environment.
I have just purchased this new course - I have been on the sick from work, because I felt like I was going to have a breakdown due to not knowing how to deal with the covert narcissist at work ( who I used to date). My mental state is deteriorating, because it is impossible to go no contact or use the grey rock method, as this makes his abuse worse at work. He is making my life a living hell at work and turning work colleagues against me - This course is a godsend and I can’t wait to start it. Thank you so much for this- it’s rare to find help for people going through narcissistic abuse at work, who can’t go no contact
Don’t let these lessons go to waste. I leave comments to be reminded of how I’m feeling in this moment, and reflect on as I continue to heal. Remember your self-respect & self-love.
I’ve just enrolled onto the new course and In 1 day I can’t believe if you Less there significance in your life that even that has reduced my over thinking of what his doing…….it’s been a week I haven’t seen him , however we work together but luckily work from home and I’ve stopped the pleading him and calling him and I’ve blocked him …….he ruined Xmas for me and I just lost the plot and tried to get sectioned and that’s scared me more than ever and all I’ve done is listen to your videos as I thought it was me going insane!! I can no longer have him blame me for mental health any longer , even with work his dangling money via email and I politely declined and said please can you draw up my contract…..as his my boss ……honestly feeling like im Coming out of a really dark place now . Thanks for all your advice ❤
I think this is definitely what's happening to me mainly the absolute maddening, stress, anxiety, and rage inducing effect it has on people by constantly watching you and everything you do, picking at every intisy wintsy thing you do to make you so incredibly threatened, scared, intimidated, stressed, upset, apprehensive, and paranoia and it worsens rumination that already happens to you as a result of anxiety and depression. Over the years because of the parents then teachers and other students in schools and other people in general who're clearly total psychos i guess it's just been how my system is made to react to people if not i'm very scared and intimidated of people. I feel a great deal of fear, pressure, apprehension, and anxiety around them i don't feel safe around anyone at all and let's face it humans are capable of anything. I'm just expecting people to either start up, join in to protect themselves, or they don't stick up for anyone behaving like cowards and so far people have failed to not disappoint every time i start to trust anyone. I feel like it's been a constant game of "oh i can trust them now i can breath and relax" and then "woops no retreat back off again, how dare you hurt me and do this to me" back to total hurt, rage, and resentment i've been constantly been made to open up then withdraw seesawing back and forth over and over again every time i so much as feel safe again to open up a bit and trust someone. They know the effect this has on me too the hit to my psyche and nervous system over and over again because every time i start to interact there is a narcissistic person destroying what i was trying to achieve with someone by turning people against me that it just felt like a waste of time trying. Although my lack of social skills and being able to handle such situations allows them to keep doing this i'm so triggered and stressed by the situation i just immediately bolt away from the situation because i'm stuck between "is it worth even trying to explain what they're trying to do to the person i'm trying become friends with?" or "i think it's just going to be a waste of time they're already listening to them let's bolt" and of course i always go for the 2nd option because i can't be assed they've done enough like not this again i'm tired. And narcs also have people in cahoots with them too so they've also took the total piss out of me by pretending to like me and that we're forming bonds with mutual respect and trust. They make me feel there's nothing to fear for once in my life and some are super good at pretending and those are the most hurtful kind of narcs that i just feel it's too difficult to interact with people it's too much because they're there as a constant killjoy. Maybe it's not such a good way to handle things though my way of going about things trying to explain when i don't know how to explain will just make things worse so i'm sabotaging myself too it always ended up being used against me in the past. It's a big muddle in there of confusion and i end up making interactions with people a confusing mess, although it wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for the narcs. Something has changed since what i was experiencing up until 3 months ago though i now want to permanently get off that seesaw because i don't want to experience any more of this. i've totally always been surrounded by people who're not very emotionally mature at all even when i am and strangely always have been even as a teenager i couldn't relate there's a half of me that's always been more mature for my age at any age range and i've desperately always wanted and needed to be around mature and sane people. I think it's being quite on the "gifted" spectrum i'm weirdly more intuitive and logical than other people, but also schools constantly stuffing everyone with the students with all kinds of behavioral issues that shouldn't be happening it should be stopped from doing this because it's not right they shouldn't be around other kids, of course i couldn't relate to any of that so i've never been around anyone i could really relate it's always been frustrating and difficult.
Im two months out of a 4 year relationship with a vile narcissist. Im telling myself that Im taking a year or two off from relationships. Even new friendships are on hold until I can reform myself. Ive had relationships with too many narcissists. Ive got to change. But you dont know what you dont know. Ive never known what its like to have someone genuinely care about me except my grandmother. And I only saw her for brief moments in my childhood. Im more used to being treated like crap.
I think we go around in the loop until we can’t go round anymore. Everyone has their limits. You have to have quite an element of being your own boss in life. If your a pure slave you’ve got no chance.
The master thing is so accurate. Removing the trauma bond and focusing on yourself more and them less especially in their company takes your power back.
Omg this is exactly what happened to me for 5 years and I kept leaving then feeling a weird power of the man pulling me back as if he had power over me ! Speaking truth I. The end and knowing he totally would not receive it but I could still walk away has helped
Thank you for helping me get beyond my love bomber. You know people like this are out there but when it happens to you, it’s mind bending. I’m not angry, I’m just happy to move beyond.
this is so so true been with my female narcissist for 6 years on and off, I know everything, last time we had contact is 12 days ago and I feel the downward spiral, cannot let go and she had min 4 other men, one of them was my best friend
Don't be in contact with them at all if you can because i describe their highly dark negative influence on us as a psychic energy attack on our psyche because that's what it truly feels like and you can tell that when you don't feel their energy and attention on you even when not in the same room or building it's like the universe shifts without it there and it feels so light and good again. It feels like a psionic attack with how instantly they effect our brain, mood, energy and how they're influencing our brain and body and some days you can even wake up feeling their attention back on you from miles away and sure enough that day or the next they show up and i'm now able to almost instantly feel this i guess i adapted to be aware of it. So all the more reason you need to stay away from them if you can because every second they know they can be around you they'll effect you because we humans effect each other whether we like it or not and they know this and the constant exposure is going to stop you recovering, gaining a hold of your faculties, and thinking clearly which is exactly what they don't want.
He pulled me in just yesterday! All night there I was wanting to die again after not feeling that way since I moved out almost a year ago. We’re still legally married and I wonder if he did this because I told him I just want this all to be over.
@@tiffanyglaspie563that’s a huge possibility, I feel like you’re questioning it because you don’t feel like there is truthfulness, do you feel unsafe? I hope you keep secret support systems, keep them safe and don’t share them. They destroy any semblance of your individuality, it only gets worse and the scary part is how insidious it can be. I hope you can find safety and get away. No one is a Disney villain (all bad) but their behavior is run by something bad and deceptive. I hope you can find a safe way out
Thank you for explaining in detail. I truly thought I was going mad. it is a madding confusing invioment you live in with their evilness you experience you feel cut off from all normality of the outside world which can send you that way. It has me I now need answers in my mind. And confronting him with my questions will go nowhere. They don't care how you feel.
Just discovered you. Recently REALIZED that my hubby is a sociopath. Explains 30 years or strange behaviors. There’s another layer that I won’t post online
Emotional intelligence is great but if you dont know what to do for the best for yourself and also actions that dont hurt anyone else, than you are only half way there. You need to be able to recondition and challenge your reaction and actions to change them and feel better to be confident that you are growing and healing. You need to be genuinely proud of yourself in a confident and humble way.
That bloody scouse accent! Stop saying Young Ian! Who is IAN?? It’s so refreshing to hear a fellow scouser speaking on RUclips about these topics. I tire of the American hegemony of accents across the internet. Your story (spoken with my accent) helps a lot in helping me feel it not just me who had to experience all this. Before I came across you it seemed these experiences only happened across the pond. All the best, laa x
I am so emotional listening to this. Your message is so validating to what I experienced being married to a very toxic man (malignant narcissist). I have 2 beautiful daughters that I am raising to have awareness in what constitutes a healthy relationship. I am gonna to share my story. I am feeling better than ever and so strong now. It takes a while but don’t give up! Still healing and parallel parenting now.😉
Me to. I am married (soon, not ) to the most cruelist Child/man that ever lived and the absolute abusive person that could ever possibly be getting wisdom now which is all thanks to these channels I've been on. they have helped me see it for what I was in.Teaching my children which are adults and thankfully they are nothing like him in awareness of narcissists and nothing is ever there fault in wanting to create healthy boundaries etc . Because I know I got taken advantage of. And my boundaries were weak and was an over the top empath. But no more I'm past caring about his needs, his past that took away my future being so wrapped up and controlled in his. Felt sorry for his troubles and trying to fix them and Managing to personalities of him one inner vonable child / preditor. He has no empathy and made my emotions feel like nothing and verbally and physically attacked me for having them. They don't change ever I tried spent 37 years wish I hadn't. My children are the best thing that has come out of this nightmare. Sending you ❤️ and strength. X
Yes same. Had been feeling completely bamboozled and had to block the person this week, to protect my own sanity, but in the midst of trying to finalise divorce. So now cannot move forward. Just knowing it’s still there hanging over me but feeling too incompetent and weak to deal with it all. Just having this in my feed today is exactly what I needed and so validating. 🙏🏼
Richard, I did my counselling diploma in TA concurrently with 5 years of weekly TA psychotherapy. I had tried psychiatry, psychology, NLP, hypno…but nothing compares to TA. Keep going! CPTSD survivor here 🙋🏼♀️ Now all I want to do is help people. COVID f**ked my business as no jabba, so starting a psychology degree in my 40s to keep going!! 🙌🏼
I had to let time heal my wounds from one of these demons. Its been a year and nothing i ever did or said to myself helped that much, it was really time, just like any other breakup, that helped the bad feelings go away. I really didnt think id survive without snapping a year ago. I thought id be in the newspapers by now.
5:48 my gosh, this hit me so hard! This is EXACTLY what happened every time I get a text or call from my sister! I had to block her for my own health. She thinks I hate her. This is so hard to have a narcissistic sister. I love my sister, but she was destroying my health.
Im going through this right now. Been dealing with a narcissistic sister for decades, with her being entitled taker and me compliant giver. Literally, emotionally and intellectually. Its been a couple of years at least that i have been trying to break free from this and last night looks like it was an important, maybe even last conversation in which i told her that its pointless continuing talking, since all she sees, talks and gives importance too is what she needs. What i need, what i feel is of no concern to her, it simply does not exist. I have slept almost all day today, feel sadness and even great loss since i do love her but i am sure this us the only way to go for me to remain sane. My heart goes out to all who are exposed to any kind of narcissistic relationship but we all must remember and repeat to ourselves that we matter and we need to stand up for ourselves, regardless of the consequence.
@@miabartini6056 we are like their addiction and the only way to break free is zero contact. No matter how many times and ways I tried to explain to her that it was for my own health, she just couldn’t get it and twisted my words. I even gave her another chance and unblocked her. It wasn’t long before I had to block her again because she started texting me about how she was hurt 17 years ago when I had my baby because I didn’t let her in the room. I didn’t let ANYONE in the room. Some people say, “you guys need to work things out,” and I say, “there’s nothing to work out. I’m just trying to live my life and she’s creating fake scenarios and then telling everyone.” For instance, I added a new phone line and took the new number so I could have the new phone and gave my old phone, therefore my old number, to my daughter. My daughter came to me and said, “look, mom, I’m getting all these crazy voicemails.” They were from my sister. So I let her know I changed my number so she wouldn’t be contacting my daughter. She went postal and started calling everyone, saying I hate her and that my whole family hates her and that I’m a narcissist and have mental issues. So I had to contact the entire family (including my in-law) to clarify that all I did was get a new phone which came with a new number. Luckily my family understands since they know what is going on. But anyone who doesn’t know what’s happening, is very confused and think there’s a war between us. The war is within herself. Anyway, sorry this is so long. I wish you the best of luck. Hang in there.
I found I made a turnaround from trying to be a wife to being an observer getting more and more detached but ending up with rheumatics long before older age, good people are valuable do not let anyone treat you as less and take with you those you love that the narc is trying to own and have power over to.
This is so true about Mexican soaps and drama, he said that few times about himself and I didn’t believe him even though he is from Latin America. After a while I started seeing the truth that I am living a life with this person in a relationship like being in a Mexican telenovela.
I was a child and I grew up with 3 narcissists- my mother, sister & brother. It was like a sliding door theatre. I just watched & didn't interact- this was the key to my survival. Plus dad sexually abused us.
Love how Richard explains the psychology behind Narcissistic Abuse and I especially love the examples, it makes it so relatable and easy to apply in my own life 🙏 . This is the point of difference between a psychologist who has gone through this NA and textbook explanations 😊
14:30, yes! The Brazilian novellas! I’ve seen them! I went to Brazil 3 times- 1997, 1998, and 1999. They were always on the tv. (Them and football!) The stories would run for 3 months and change. Same actors 😂
My 19 yr old daughter has been with a narcissistic a$$ for 3 yrs I have confronted him many times about what he does ( obviously he doesn’t think he does anything ) to the point he doesn’t come round anymore .. I talk to my daughter about his behaviour and how he broke her ( she ended up on anti depressants had many manic breakdowns ) I point out ever time he he dose something .. if she’s going out without him *extremely rare * he makes sure he pisses her off and gets her so upset that she doesn’t have a good time .. when he’s not getting his way he will tell her he’s leaving her which sends her into a breakdown .. it’s horrible to watch but all I can do for now is keep helping no her to get stronger and pray one day she leaves
The day I realised that two people in my life are narcissists it felt like such a relief, because I no longer feel conflicted between loving that person and hating them
This is so well explained thank you Richard I hope I’m in the right place healing with therapy and no contact I felt like that for 4 years, my values changed so much he had the morals of an alley cat
It's very hard to break free from the narcissistic grip, it takes time... Keep going community don't become stuck in that hamster wheel 😂 Do something everyday that will redirect your brain to become healthier and happier. These toxic creatures are not worthy of our time!
The 30 day challenge i did 2 years ago was so good! Changed my life becsuse I implemented good habits which i can still fall back on. I always reocmmend your channel
I am truly grateful for discovering you! Omg you have no idea how much sense you make and how much clarity you are giving me to what the last 3 years have been or why.
Richard, I can't thank you enough for what you are doing here. Your videos have been nothing short of life-saving for me. I am so grateful to have found you and profoundly relieved and excited to see that this course offers exactly what I've been looking for because I am unable to go no contact with the last remaining narcissist in my life. After decades of abuse from numerous narcissists in my family, I have become quite skilled at going no contact and effectively removing toxic people from my life. What I really need assistance and support with is how to manage and maintain my mental health while in daily contact with my narcissist, who I tasked with caring for in old age. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU for all the work that you do.❤️
I understand your situation. What i can offer is to manage your expectations of the person, compassion for them in some form (in that they will not change) and radical self care for yourself... physical
...care of you (good excercise= physical strength aids the mental strength) and also go full in to your personal pursuits and what makes you happy. This has helped me.
I've followed you for a few months now and you've been quite helpful. I appreciate the way you challenge mainstream understandings of Narcissistic Abuse and codependency. Your one video where you said, "my like is a fucking catastrophe but I'm here and that's pretty ok," has changed my outlook and allowed me to take back a bit of my power. I just signed up. I've signed up for a lot of courses over the past 4 years since leaving my 1st narcissisticly abusive relationship but I'm in a better mental and emotional state now and hopeful that this will be a game changer. Thank you.
" Our values have changed. This course also has modules to get you back into the values of people who have a chance at leading a normal sane life. People who valuE peace. People who value normality. People who value order and consistency . . . And calm. (Ahhh yes, calm😊)
Unplug from the matrix course, best title ever. AND I trust given the exceptional quality of your You Tube insights, knowledge and presence that your courses are transformational.
This info lets me know how important it is for me to fight this narcissist. Its just like i was back in 1st grade with a sadistic teacher, i was terrified . This relationship makes me feel the same way.
I’ve been seeing a therapist and just got your course. Therapist has not been the most helpful I mean I’m working through my depression and anxiety but I feel like we aren’t processing why I got there which was due to his abuse. We skipped right over and focus on me me me but I think I’m ok in a weird way I think I need to process what happened to take out what’s not good for mw
You are the best therapist here on RUclips, if I had the mpney, I would come to Amerika. Sam Vaknin is absolutely great too. Thank you from the bottom of my too emphatic ❤.
Appreciate talks, can relate, understand. Gone no contact with all family, false friends. Which has been challenging. Have narc agnostic boss, its a catch 22, last 5 jobs, all narc bosses, interviews for other jobs, narcissistic abbusive nut jobs. If i leave , financially challenging! If i stay, will i cope? Plus costs of therapy is high
I've just happened upon a couple of your videos, absolutely fascinating and a relief to hear things explained that I have been trying to understand and convey for years. I have often wondered if it was actually 'I' that was the narcissist. I may have accepted that as my fate until she destroyed the relationship i had with our two daughters before the split and much more since. No matter what i do or say, she has complete control over their minds when it comes to my character. And i STILL dream about 'winning' her back. Absolutely crazy. I wonder if anyone reading this can point me in the direction of more of these very insightful lessons? It's rough isn't it? Especially when you're a deep thinker as i am, not much fun. Education is the key i guess
I'd love to connect, Richard, to interview you on my Poadcast and upcoming show. You are a brilliant therapist and you pack a punch with some hard hitting home truths and with humour. You're amazing.
You are good to help people Richard. Without your videos and your take on all of this stuff I would still be lost in a confused fog and thinking I was the crazy one. Love ❤ from the U.S.
Honestly I think my narc ex CAN read my mind, from anywhere on earth. After we split up, there was a time when she was leaving me alone. THen, I started to go out into the dating world, and all of a sudden BAM! "I miss you!" "are you seeing anyone?" "Would you get back together?". Of course its just coincidence, but god damn, her timing has always been spookily on-point... to the point where I often thought my phone was bugged. I even got a new phone (with a new google account) after we split just to be safe, and she still uncannily knows what I'm doing... Now I need to sweep my place for nanny cams lol. Ever see the Movie "BUG"?
LOTS of complaints that people aren’t getting emails this week :
1. When you join my mailing list on Richardgrannon.com you must confirm your desire to be on the list by replying to the email we immediately send you. It’s called a “double opt in”. I use an American company and it has to be done this way 🙏😎 🇺🇸
Please confirm your subscription and then
2. white list / safe list my email.
It' impossibile! I mean i put my e mail address 100 times and NEVER got the immediate email confirmation as i should, please check for yourself!
I also have written this in the last video you made. Never get the mail for tge confirmation PLUS at the helpdesk no one replies EVER. I have written several times. Please get this fixed and check for yourself.
"screenshotters of whatsap messages, recorders of conversations, keepers of dates" - I have hundreds of conversaions recorded and thousands, if not 10's of thousands, of screenshots. EXCEPT for a few very specific recorded phone convos that were deleted from my phone, while it was in my possession, when it somehow connected itself to the internet apparently remotely. I also have things missing because the narc managed to get access to my house key and used it to steal random items, some of which I didn't notice for 2+ years but when i did, i knew exactly where and when they disappeared. Many criminal offences, including lying to police - but all would be considered "petty" offences and not worth polices' time. BUT taken together, they represent a crime that isn't on the books, so there is no punishment for, which would be destruction of a mind, a life, a character and decades of my life, the last decade in particular, after I began seeing red flags and stupidly pointed one of them out to the narc, my younger brother.
My apologies. I have changed it with my personal e mail address and it does work.
Weird because my work address i use it almost for anything but if I use that i don't get the automatic mail at all. Anyway it's true at helpdesk don't answer, maybe they don't receive my e mail as well? Double weird it's a mail for an institution.
Glad i was able to join!!
Really good video Richard….I love the cozy back ground, and decor .. kudos to your decorator. ….but I have a question….why do you gotta make me cry like that damit?!?! 😢……your not my real dad ya know 😢😝🤨☺️😘
This is so insightful how peoples nervous system is manipulated and conditioned to be wrecked by psychopath
It's how you associate with things so they make you associate all kinds of things and situations with just abuse and negative experiences. It's why people are scared of doing or learning anything these days you could tell them it's alright because it is or it could be to train them but point blanc they won't do it they'll be exceptionally difficult because all they're seeing is their emotional flashbacks. Everyone to some point suffer with some form of ptsd these days i don't know how this is considered a good or useful type of culture globally it's not it's just destructive.
They become so skeptical of anything that is actually real and legit too to the point they think you're trying to hurt them but the main fear is the repercussions of it if they dare even so much as associate themselves with the thing that is real even if it could help them or they need to. I get why because narcissists constantly watch everything you do and pick at every tiny thing ever changing each day to suit their needs.
It makes you feel really abnormal in each way they make out to be "abnormal" even teachers are doing it to their students to make them do what they want them to do and i think they really need to ask themselves is it worth hurting generations of people over temporary and highly unrealistic work targets they can never achieve? and i know they're all being put through the same things as we are and soon find out they only see you as replaceable.
The whole culture is based around abusive behaviors and here in england it's really bad how peoples growth as people has been stunted to the point they wouldn't even think about putting their bag in front of the door in a bathroom stall if the lock is broken. I've literally had other women go "oh i wouldn't have thought of doing that" as they saw me open the door and pick my bag up, umm i'm going to bite my tongue on that because i don't see how you couldn't realize that like are you dumb? lol but okay you really didn't.
That shocks me that people haven't learned even the simplest common sense things, but i get why now having experienced the whole debacle that is society and how i've always been thrown into the den of people with all kinds of behavioral issues that nobody can cope with. Why people are so scared and how you're made to associate all sorts of things with pure fear and trauma i don't know how this is existence.
I just went through the devaluation stage in a relationship with a female narcissist. I ended it breaking it off because of videos like this and the abuse was insane. She completely changed. All the love gone, silent treatment, lack of affection, gaslighting, etc etc. the list goes on and on. I need to complete your course because she absolutely got in my head a made me so anxious and infatuated with researching the topic. It is unbelievable how accurate all this information along with all Richard’s information is exactly what happened. I need to complete the course. I had no idea people like this existed (I’m an empath). It’s the sickest thing I’ve ever experienced. They all deserve to be in jail
You are having a NORMAL reaction to an ABNORMAL behavior. I felt sick for years. Whenever he would call and leave a message, I would tremble. I had migraine headaches, nightmares. He was using his behavior as a means of controlling me and everyone else. THEN, one day, I said to him, "I can't have a relationship with you. I'm an equal half of this and this half is done." When I chose to walk away, I still missed him. He was my father. I had to learn to love some people from a distance. We're not always meant to be in relationships EVEN the ones we feel we should be in. Okay, take care of yourselves. You're worth it.
"Before you heal someone, ask them if they're willing to give up the things that make them sick."
-- Anon
❤
It's not our job to heal other adults. It's their job to get themselves healthy and save themselves
@@maeliosashannon4246 very well said
However, there are those of us who for different reasons cannot remove themselves from a relationship with a narcissist. So we have to find ways to remove ourselves mentally.
"Don't let anyone dim your light. You deserve to be seen.!" - Dora Vanourek
I honestly feel that those who had / have NPD parents or raised by someone like that understand the heart of this topic better than anyone else.
Yes, yes we do.
I doubt that anyone could possibly understand it without experiencing it.
@@RippleDrop.Give yourself some time,it took me longer than 3 years.I'm in my 40's my parents in their late 70's and still trying same technics on me,now I think about it as "same shit, different day". What helped me was to realized that I'm grown woman and what's the worst that they can do to me that they haven't already done?
I would get stomach problems only from a text on a phone - I would go for a run or walk stairs couple of times to calm down before reading it and again before answering it.
I had to stop listen to some music even though I love it,but it kept me depressed or feeling like a helpless teenager.
Hope it helps and good luck
@@justmeiam4996this echos me exactly, it takes so much time to recover from living with a parent with NPD.
@@itsacarthing8541it's kinda logical it takes long,if you had to take mental abuse from a parent/parents for 20,30 or whatever years, it's gonna take some time.First thing I learned was to be patient with myself - selflove was a new concept for me and I was in my late 30's.
One of my friends is a therapist and the smartest thing she ever told me was,( after I said that i wish I started my healing journey earlier in life ) don't feel sorry I have clients in their 60's,70's even 80's that are starting with therapy.
The stress actually made me sick, caused my immune system to start attacking itself.
I still have the apparently common in survivors dizzyness... My inner ear just can't tell left from right or up from down anymore in that state. The body manifests what our cognitive dissonance doesn't let through? All that gaslighting made me lose all orientation!
I am very, very glad that Rich's NLP comedy finally managed to fly under the radar with lulz, and made me realize!
@@ForestTiefling glad you realized, longest journey on the road is the healing journey although hard it is so worth it. Survivors journey is like that song by Christina Aguilera “fighter”, “after all you put me through, You'd think I'd despise you, But in the end, I wanna thank you 'Cause you made me that much stronger.”
nice one! I have to admit, one of my guilty fantasies I sometimes entertain (still possesed!) is blasting his apartement with Dance with the Dead's "the Man who made a Monster" one day. But I shouldn't care, except for that music being exceptional. And my glow-up game being real!
@@ForestTieflingI think I have survivors dizziness too
Stay strong
My narcissist mother caused depression in 7 of her 10 children .
One took his own life because of her endless abuse.
They laugh at your pain and she said depression was a load of crap no such thing.
Bullshit she would never admit to.
I was addicted to fixing her all throughout my life it became an obsession in me which turned to hatred in me and bitterness.
After she died I started to heal
And I prayed for the obsession to be taken away.
I loved her but it's pity for the broken damaged child that was in her.
Same with my x boyfriend and his narcissism. Laughing at me when I had a breakdown and was admitted to hospital.
Thought he was better than the psychiatrist. Heartless bastard.
They are so cold and sadistic. Their behaviour is a joke.
They mess you about and fuck you up and walk away. Leaving a mess behind everywhere they go.
Every woman they cheat on you with is also badly abused.
You have to value peace and protection of your mind and soul.
They love drama even as elderly people.
They make shit of people.
But getting away is difficult because you think that they can love you. But they can't
I've been going through this for 33yrs of unhappy marriage. I don't have the money to leave. I'm 71 now and my body has been going this. It's a fight for my soul EVERY single day with this man. I'm at this point where I don't love or have ANY feelings for this man.....I just DON'T care anymore, he's broken my heart. NOW I work on myself....I say now every morning to myself is "I see him..but I don't see him"...I hear him..but I don't hear him. I don't play his game since I can't leave him. I stopped talking to him, I stopped looking at him, because eye contact is the start to a conversation.
Since my husband will not get involved with anything I like to do....I'm off doing what I enjoy to do....and leave him sitting in his chair watching TV...yaking on his phone....and ALWAYS talking politics
You keep going girl ,enjoy your life and just pretend he’s not there .easy Peasy .
This is life changing material. Richard the work you are doing is saving people's lives. You're an inspirational human being mate.
Yes he is. Once in a while I watch and he's summarizing some thoughts I've also had. It makes a difference knowing you're not alone and Richard has been an inspiration for over ten years. Godspeed and thank you brother. 💚
I am currently in the change of my life an absolutely so scared I Cry I am so heartbroken for the first time in my life I feel like you have to be so strong supposed to say I'm being strong I don't know what to say I thank you and I'm educating myself and I have been a prisoner of both parents and his sister and I still am so heartbroken and Confused because I guess I just want everybody to love each other and support each other and build each other up and and now that I well it doesn't matter I am being controlled but not anymore and this is a road I thought I'd never travel
@@dawnpahnerGod Bless
@@jameslynch8738 yes and I was always accused if I picked up my phone and it might have been doing something wrong but it was also wrong. Oh it's just been ridiculous I don't even have social media well I'm obviously now because I'm learning how to talk on the phone I just push the microphone and it hopefully picks up my words correctly but when I sometimes back when it doesn't. But anyways I still don't want social media I just like the idea of realizing for the first time in my life I have truly been controlled that's nothing I did because I was always submissive. I was married 25 years I have raised seven children I have five amazing Sons and two amazing daughters but because of the narcissistic behaviors they have all been turned against me because I was the one that thought the divorce and tried to get strong. But now I am living for the very first time in my life ever I'm paying my own bills and my own place to live I'm educating myself on some of these falsehoods of people's characters meaning their narcissistic and I'm at the very tips of regaining my children again I think I must be talking too much I'm sorry I'm just thankful to actually hear things that I it doesn't matter I'm grateful
@@dawnpahnerhope things are settling down for you. You can do this , and believe me , be better off without them. Being strong alone is easier than staying strong around narcs
Richard saved me from life with narcissist after decade. I found his videos in 2019, more I watched more I put together, come lockdown I took opportunity to leave, I’m now happier than ever been and I love myself wholeheartedly, I spent decade with toxic narcissist type person and it did me no favors. Strange that my mom was similar personality, therapist says my brain thinks it’s familiar and confuses situation with love. I’m learning. It takes time. Good people do still exist.
Demonic possession that requires an exorcism… got it ✝️
Religious cults use the same tactics to lure you in and bind you. Especially the Abrahamic ones are particulary nasty. They are evil with a shiny wrapper.
Ephesians 6:12 NLT
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
I did the unplug from the matrix course along with a therapist .
It took my almost 6 months to complete doing the exercises everyday and it was very easy to incorporate into my day.
The hard part is the actual processing of the information I was very emotional and needed my therapist to break down what I was feeling.
I would recommend this course a 100%but the real healing only happens if you are willing to be real,honest,humble,and truly want to heal.
I was very physically ill while doing this course and was close to dying at different points.
To live I needed to break these bonds to be sane and whole I needed to heal my life literally depended on this.
I include the need for my doctor's,specialists,eating properly,excercise,therapy all of this is important to heal the whole of you.
I thought I had a gambling problem that was just a maladaptive habit digging in was so much harder but worth it.
I am healing my mind is clearer my body is much better and my mind is my own.
The work is hard but running away is so much harder.
Thank you for sharing. Its helped me understand some of the crazy ups and downs my body has been going through for the past year. God bless you, and good luck with your healing journey moving forward. 🙏🏻❤️💪🔥☯️🖖
I wish you luck as well.
This is a tricky issue and you have to heal everything to truly get better.
yes yes yea holistic healing must be approached wholistically. mind body spirit. every cell fibre and breath
The headaches I would get after trying to have a simple conversation with the narc! Oh my gosh😳
No matter how much innerwork and therapy sessions i do, the only people I encounter are narcissistic and their minions. Even within my own family or social and business network. So I stay clear from external relationships where possible. It is just me, my Self and my heavenly father. This life on earth in the present and in the past is not for true sincere romantic life because evil incarnated.
Your lectures are saving my life. I’m so broken by my recent events. Thank you so much.
Ya. Completely understand the feeling. Remember, when a tree breaks and sways. It grows back stronger! Same way we will be stronger afterwards.
Me 2, it’s awful
You helping alot of people that are suffering in silence...
Also the insane part shows up when you tell someone that cares about you what the narcissist says to you and they can’t understand why in the world you stay yet you yourself feel under their power ! Even disliking the man but under their hold wow so true thank you
I was thinking… we internalized our narcissistic parents, and of the narcissistic abusers we were drawn to, and we kept hearing their voices and their malevolent intentions running constantly along the neuropaths they created in our brains. So I have adopted the practice of “ internalizing” the words of Jesus, the words of my support team, the words of a few fellow travelers who “get it” and still love me. I do this out loud, because my sexually abusive parents, both narcissists and one also sociopathic hurled their abusive words out loud into my developing brain. I’m superimposing new, kind, healing words over the old ones that ride along my old neuropaths. And it seems to be disintegrating the old paths. My best friend, who’s a trauma therapist, says that the new overlays of positive , loving messages actually chemically destroy the old toxic pathways. What are your thoughts on that?
You have literally brought me back from the walking dead, into new life. You're my favorite podcaster on Narcissistic Abuse. Your humor is extraordinary! I find myself laughing out loud! Laughter--the best medicine. Thank you, from the bottom of my glued-together heart! You’re an absolute treasure.
"When the roots are deep there is no reason to fear the wind."
- African Proverb
to break the hold of Narcissistic women, i stopped dating 14 years ago.
being addicted to a narcissistic person is like being addicted to a drug or anything else .
The only way to stop it, is to remove yourself from that environment.
if you can't do that you'll always be a whimpering coward that gets abused and your life will be a pathetic disaster.
My current project is to relieve myself of all the narcissistic people in my work environment.
How did the work situ go/going? ❤
I have just purchased this new course - I have been on the sick from work, because I felt like I was going to have a breakdown due to not knowing how to deal with the covert narcissist at work ( who I used to date). My mental state is deteriorating, because it is impossible to go no contact or use the grey rock method, as this makes his abuse worse at work. He is making my life a living hell at work and turning work colleagues against me - This course is a godsend and I can’t wait to start it. Thank you so much for this- it’s rare to find help for people going through narcissistic abuse at work, who can’t go no contact
Don’t let these lessons go to waste. I leave comments to be reminded of how I’m feeling in this moment, and reflect on as I continue to heal. Remember your self-respect & self-love.
This is my first day of leaving the woman narcissist and she threatened of suicidal. I felt that my head is relieved and my gut acid works better.
Man I love you, as a therapist. I love the content you’re making so helpful absolutely love it
I’ve just enrolled onto the new course and In 1 day I can’t believe if you Less there significance in your life that even that has reduced my over thinking of what his doing…….it’s been a week I haven’t seen him , however we work together but luckily work from home and I’ve stopped the pleading him and calling him and I’ve blocked him …….he ruined Xmas for me and I just lost the plot and tried to get sectioned and that’s scared me more than ever and all I’ve done is listen to your videos as I thought it was me going insane!! I can no longer have him blame me for mental health any longer , even with work his dangling money via email and I politely declined and said please can you draw up my contract…..as his my boss ……honestly feeling like im
Coming out of a really dark place now . Thanks for all your advice ❤
Yes we are adaptable but we're also very resilient!
This too shall pass
I think this is definitely what's happening to me mainly the absolute maddening, stress, anxiety, and rage inducing effect it has on people by constantly watching you and everything you do, picking at every intisy wintsy thing you do to make you so incredibly threatened, scared, intimidated, stressed, upset, apprehensive, and paranoia and it worsens rumination that already happens to you as a result of anxiety and depression.
Over the years because of the parents then teachers and other students in schools and other people in general who're clearly total psychos i guess it's just been how my system is made to react to people if not i'm very scared and intimidated of people. I feel a great deal of fear, pressure, apprehension, and anxiety around them i don't feel safe around anyone at all and let's face it humans are capable of anything. I'm just expecting people to either start up, join in to protect themselves, or they don't stick up for anyone behaving like cowards and so far people have failed to not disappoint every time i start to trust anyone.
I feel like it's been a constant game of "oh i can trust them now i can breath and relax" and then "woops no retreat back off again, how dare you hurt me and do this to me" back to total hurt, rage, and resentment i've been constantly been made to open up then withdraw seesawing back and forth over and over again every time i so much as feel safe again to open up a bit and trust someone. They know the effect this has on me too the hit to my psyche and nervous system over and over again because every time i start to interact there is a narcissistic person destroying what i was trying to achieve with someone by turning people against me that it just felt like a waste of time trying.
Although my lack of social skills and being able to handle such situations allows them to keep doing this i'm so triggered and stressed by the situation i just immediately bolt away from the situation because i'm stuck between "is it worth even trying to explain what they're trying to do to the person i'm trying become friends with?" or "i think it's just going to be a waste of time they're already listening to them let's bolt" and of course i always go for the 2nd option because i can't be assed they've done enough like not this again i'm tired. And narcs also have people in cahoots with them too so they've also took the total piss out of me by pretending to like me and that we're forming bonds with mutual respect and trust. They make me feel there's nothing to fear for once in my life and some are super good at pretending and those are the most hurtful kind of narcs that i just feel it's too difficult to interact with people it's too much because they're there as a constant killjoy.
Maybe it's not such a good way to handle things though my way of going about things trying to explain when i don't know how to explain will just make things worse so i'm sabotaging myself too it always ended up being used against me in the past. It's a big muddle in there of confusion and i end up making interactions with people a confusing mess, although it wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for the narcs. Something has changed since what i was experiencing up until 3 months ago though i now want to permanently get off that seesaw because i don't want to experience any more of this.
i've totally always been surrounded by people who're not very emotionally mature at all even when i am and strangely always have been even as a teenager i couldn't relate there's a half of me that's always been more mature for my age at any age range and i've desperately always wanted and needed to be around mature and sane people. I think it's being quite on the "gifted" spectrum i'm weirdly more intuitive and logical than other people, but also schools constantly stuffing everyone with the students with all kinds of behavioral issues that shouldn't be happening it should be stopped from doing this because it's not right they shouldn't be around other kids, of course i couldn't relate to any of that so i've never been around anyone i could really relate it's always been frustrating and difficult.
Consistency and faith go hand in hand. That is why it is so important to create healthy routines.
Im two months out of a 4 year relationship with a vile narcissist. Im telling myself that Im taking a year or two off from relationships. Even new friendships are on hold until I can reform myself. Ive had relationships with too many narcissists. Ive got to change. But you dont know what you dont know. Ive never known what its like to have someone genuinely care about me except my grandmother. And I only saw her for brief moments in my childhood. Im more used to being treated like crap.
I feel just the same way. Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone.. one day at a time
Me three! I hope you are OK, how are you doing? ❤️
I think we go around in the loop until we can’t go round anymore. Everyone has their limits. You have to have quite an element of being your own boss in life. If your a pure slave you’ve got no chance.
The master thing is so accurate. Removing the trauma bond and focusing on yourself more and them less especially in their company takes your power back.
I love how you dismantle the narc.
I've achieved much in almost a month after walking away from the narc.
Thanks
Mad love Richard Grannon Grannon
Omg this is exactly what happened to me for 5 years and I kept leaving then feeling a weird power of the man pulling me back as if he had power over me ! Speaking truth I. The end and knowing he totally would not receive it but I could still walk away has helped
Thank you for helping me get beyond my love bomber. You know people like this are out there but when it happens to you, it’s mind bending. I’m not angry, I’m just happy to move beyond.
this is so so true been with my female narcissist for 6 years on and off, I know everything, last time we had contact is 12 days ago and I feel the downward spiral, cannot let go and she had min 4 other men, one of them was my best friend
Don't be in contact with them at all if you can because i describe their highly dark negative influence on us as a psychic energy attack on our psyche because that's what it truly feels like and you can tell that when you don't feel their energy and attention on you even when not in the same room or building it's like the universe shifts without it there and it feels so light and good again.
It feels like a psionic attack with how instantly they effect our brain, mood, energy and how they're influencing our brain and body and some days you can even wake up feeling their attention back on you from miles away and sure enough that day or the next they show up and i'm now able to almost instantly feel this i guess i adapted to be aware of it.
So all the more reason you need to stay away from them if you can because every second they know they can be around you they'll effect you because we humans effect each other whether we like it or not and they know this and the constant exposure is going to stop you recovering, gaining a hold of your faculties, and thinking clearly which is exactly what they don't want.
F! This is me. I’m an insane mess and don’t even know who I’ve become! I’ve been perfectly “conditioned”!
He pulled me in just yesterday! All night there I was wanting to die again after not feeling that way since I moved out almost a year ago. We’re still legally married and I wonder if he did this because I told him I just want this all to be over.
@@tiffanyglaspie563that’s a huge possibility, I feel like you’re questioning it because you don’t feel like there is truthfulness, do you feel unsafe? I hope you keep secret support systems, keep them safe and don’t share them. They destroy any semblance of your individuality, it only gets worse and the scary part is how insidious it can be. I hope you can find safety and get away. No one is a Disney villain (all bad) but their behavior is run by something bad and deceptive. I hope you can find a safe way out
Thank you for explaining in detail. I truly thought I was going mad. it is a madding confusing invioment you live in with their evilness you experience you feel cut off from all normality of the outside world which can send you that way. It has me I now need answers in my mind. And confronting him with my questions will go nowhere. They don't care how you feel.
Just discovered you. Recently REALIZED that my hubby is a sociopath. Explains 30 years or strange behaviors. There’s another layer that I won’t post online
Emotional intelligence is great but if you dont know what to do for the best for yourself and also actions that dont hurt anyone else, than you are only half way there. You need to be able to recondition and challenge your reaction and actions to change them and feel better to be confident that you are growing and healing. You need to be genuinely proud of yourself in a confident and humble way.
"do Brasil" pronounced perfectly. I cracked up instantly!
15:08 morphed into Lily Savage...lol
So it's our body that responds
That bloody scouse accent! Stop saying Young Ian! Who is IAN??
It’s so refreshing to hear a fellow scouser speaking on RUclips about these topics. I tire of the American hegemony of accents across the internet.
Your story (spoken with my accent) helps a lot in helping me feel it not just me who had to experience all this. Before I came across you it seemed these experiences only happened across the pond.
All the best, laa x
Well, I have a slight Irish accent, and it doesn't matter to me what a person's accent is, it's the message that matters.
I am so emotional listening to this. Your message is so validating to what I experienced being married to a very toxic man (malignant narcissist). I have 2 beautiful daughters that I am raising to have awareness in what constitutes a healthy relationship. I am gonna to share my story. I am feeling better than ever and so strong now. It takes a while but don’t give up! Still healing and parallel parenting now.😉
Me to. I am married (soon, not ) to the most cruelist Child/man that ever lived and the absolute abusive person that could ever possibly be getting wisdom now which is all thanks to these channels I've been on. they have helped me see it for what I was in.Teaching my children which are adults and thankfully they are nothing like him in awareness of narcissists and nothing is ever there fault in wanting to create healthy boundaries etc . Because I know I got taken advantage of. And my boundaries were weak and was an over the top empath. But no more I'm past caring about his needs, his past that took away my future being so wrapped up and controlled in his. Felt sorry for his troubles and trying to fix them and Managing to personalities of him one inner vonable child / preditor. He has no empathy and made my emotions feel like nothing and verbally and physically attacked me for having them. They don't change ever I tried spent 37 years wish I hadn't. My children are the best thing that has come out of this nightmare.
Sending you ❤️ and strength. X
Yes same. Had been feeling completely bamboozled and had to block the person this week, to protect my own sanity, but in the midst of trying to finalise divorce. So now cannot move forward. Just knowing it’s still there hanging over me but feeling too incompetent and weak to deal with it all. Just having this in my feed today is exactly what I needed and so validating. 🙏🏼
Hey me too! Two beautiful daughters. It isnt easy. So much respect and compassion for you!!!!❤
Richard, I did my counselling diploma in TA concurrently with 5 years of weekly TA psychotherapy. I had tried psychiatry, psychology, NLP, hypno…but nothing compares to TA. Keep going! CPTSD survivor here 🙋🏼♀️ Now all I want to do is help people. COVID f**ked my business as no jabba, so starting a psychology degree in my 40s to keep going!! 🙌🏼
What about CBT
@julyguy2670I keep on keeping on 😅
when reality
is replaced
with authority
My narc mom would always watch "All My Children", I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN A SOAP.
Thanks for the video and your efforts to help people.
I can't tell my mother anything personal because she has to announce everything to everyone she knows.
I had to let time heal my wounds from one of these demons. Its been a year and nothing i ever did or said to myself helped that much, it was really time, just like any other breakup, that helped the bad feelings go away. I really didnt think id survive without snapping a year ago. I thought id be in the newspapers by now.
Glad you're doing better.
5:48 my gosh, this hit me so hard! This is EXACTLY what happened every time I get a text or call from my sister! I had to block her for my own health. She thinks I hate her. This is so hard to have a narcissistic sister. I love my sister, but she was destroying my health.
Im going through this right now. Been dealing with a narcissistic sister for decades, with her being entitled taker and me compliant giver. Literally, emotionally and intellectually. Its been a couple of years at least that i have been trying to break free from this and last night looks like it was an important, maybe even last conversation in which i told her that its pointless continuing talking, since all she sees, talks and gives importance too is what she needs. What i need, what i feel is of no concern to her, it simply does not exist. I have slept almost all day today, feel sadness and even great loss since i do love her but i am sure this us the only way to go for me to remain sane. My heart goes out to all who are exposed to any kind of narcissistic relationship but we all must remember and repeat to ourselves that we matter and we need to stand up for ourselves, regardless of the consequence.
@@miabartini6056 we are like their addiction and the only way to break free is zero contact. No matter how many times and ways I tried to explain to her that it was for my own health, she just couldn’t get it and twisted my words. I even gave her another chance and unblocked her. It wasn’t long before I had to block her again because she started texting me about how she was hurt 17 years ago when I had my baby because I didn’t let her in the room. I didn’t let ANYONE in the room.
Some people say, “you guys need to work things out,” and I say, “there’s nothing to work out. I’m just trying to live my life and she’s creating fake scenarios and then telling everyone.” For instance, I added a new phone line and took the new number so I could have the new phone and gave my old phone, therefore my old number, to my daughter. My daughter came to me and said, “look, mom, I’m getting all these crazy voicemails.” They were from my sister. So I let her know I changed my number so she wouldn’t be contacting my daughter. She went postal and started calling everyone, saying I hate her and that my whole family hates her and that I’m a narcissist and have mental issues. So I had to contact the entire family (including my in-law) to clarify that all I did was get a new phone which came with a new number. Luckily my family understands since they know what is going on. But anyone who doesn’t know what’s happening, is very confused and think there’s a war between us. The war is within herself. Anyway, sorry this is so long. I wish you the best of luck. Hang in there.
I found I made a turnaround from trying to be a wife to being an observer
getting more and more detached but ending up with rheumatics long before older age, good people are valuable do not let anyone treat you as less and take with you those you love that the narc is trying to own and have power over to.
This is so true about Mexican soaps and drama, he said that few times about himself and I didn’t believe him even though he is from Latin America. After a while I started seeing the truth that I am living a life with this person in a relationship like being in a Mexican telenovela.
I was a child and I grew up with 3 narcissists- my mother, sister & brother. It was like a sliding door theatre.
I just watched & didn't interact- this was the key to my survival.
Plus dad sexually abused us.
Love how Richard explains the psychology behind Narcissistic Abuse and I especially love the examples, it makes it so relatable and easy to apply in my own life 🙏 . This is the point of difference between a psychologist who has gone through this NA and textbook explanations 😊
These are the best videos, brutally honest but true.
I've been struggling with bad stress and insomnia from this. I have to see them and their parents giving me silent treatment all the time.
14:30, yes! The Brazilian novellas! I’ve seen them! I went to Brazil 3 times- 1997, 1998, and 1999. They were always on the tv. (Them and football!) The stories would run for 3 months and change. Same actors 😂
Great point about how its hard to map ourselves...hence how helpful it is to have a therapist😊
My 19 yr old daughter has been with a narcissistic a$$ for 3 yrs I have confronted him many times about what he does ( obviously he doesn’t think he does anything ) to the point he doesn’t come round anymore .. I talk to my daughter about his behaviour and how he broke her ( she ended up on anti depressants had many manic breakdowns ) I point out ever time he he dose something .. if she’s going out without him *extremely rare * he makes sure he pisses her off and gets her so upset that she doesn’t have a good time .. when he’s not getting his way he will tell her he’s leaving her which sends her into a breakdown .. it’s horrible to watch but all I can do for now is keep helping no her to get stronger and pray one day she leaves
Sooo true, remembering dates and arguments. Sounds familiar
The day I realised that two people in my life are narcissists it felt like such a relief, because I no longer feel conflicted between loving that person and hating them
This is so well explained thank you Richard I hope I’m in the right place healing with therapy and no contact I felt like that for 4 years, my values changed so much he had the morals of an alley cat
It's very hard to break free from the narcissistic grip, it takes time...
Keep going community don't become stuck in that hamster wheel 😂
Do something everyday that will redirect your brain to become healthier and happier.
These toxic creatures are not worthy of our time!
The 30 day challenge i did 2 years ago was so good! Changed my life becsuse I implemented good habits which i can still fall back on. I always reocmmend your channel
Thanks
You were completely accurate and spot on when it comes to the Chinese meaning of kungfu
I have to work with a narc and though it’s not the same as being in a close relationship, it’s still very challenging. Thank you for your channel.
I am truly grateful for discovering you! Omg you have no idea how much sense you make and how much clarity you are giving me to what the last 3 years have been or why.
Richard, I can't thank you enough for what you are doing here. Your videos have been nothing short of life-saving for me. I am so grateful to have found you and profoundly relieved and excited to see that this course offers exactly what I've been looking for because I am unable to go no contact with the last remaining narcissist in my life. After decades of abuse from numerous narcissists in my family, I have become quite skilled at going no contact and effectively removing toxic people from my life. What I really need assistance and support with is how to manage and maintain my mental health while in daily contact with my narcissist, who I tasked with caring for in old age. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU for all the work that you do.❤️
I understand your situation. What i can offer is to manage your expectations of the person, compassion for them in some form (in that they will not change) and radical self care for yourself... physical
...care of you (good excercise= physical strength aids the mental strength) and also go full in to your personal pursuits and what makes you happy. This has helped me.
I've followed you for a few months now and you've been quite helpful. I appreciate the way you challenge mainstream understandings of Narcissistic Abuse and codependency. Your one video where you said, "my like is a fucking catastrophe but I'm here and that's pretty ok," has changed my outlook and allowed me to take back a bit of my power. I just signed up. I've signed up for a lot of courses over the past 4 years since leaving my 1st narcissisticly abusive relationship but I'm in a better mental and emotional state now and hopeful that this will be a game changer. Thank you.
Thank you!You are the best assistant!You helped me in my healing last 2 years.
hey richard
thx so much for your work
this helps us all
65 yrs old , still learning
75 yrs. old and still learning. Just started 3 yrs ago, when I discovered narcissism.
@@adimeter .....✔
" Our values have changed. This course also has modules to get you back into the values of people who have a chance at leading a normal sane life. People who valuE peace. People who value normality. People who value order and consistency . . . And calm. (Ahhh yes, calm😊)
Unplug from the matrix course, best title ever.
AND I trust given the exceptional quality of your You Tube insights, knowledge and presence that your courses are transformational.
Thank you Richard.
This info lets me know how important it is for me to fight this narcissist. Its just like i was back in 1st grade with a sadistic teacher, i was terrified . This relationship makes me feel the same way.
I’ve been seeing a therapist and just got your course. Therapist has not been the most helpful I mean I’m working through my depression and anxiety but I feel like we aren’t processing why I got there which was due to his abuse. We skipped right over and focus on me me me but I think I’m ok in a weird way I think I need to process what happened to take out what’s not good for mw
You are the best therapist here on RUclips, if I had the mpney, I would come to Amerika. Sam Vaknin is absolutely great too. Thank you from the bottom of my too emphatic ❤.
Appreciate talks, can relate, understand.
Gone no contact with all family, false friends.
Which has been challenging.
Have narc agnostic boss, its a catch 22, last 5 jobs, all narc bosses, interviews for other jobs, narcissistic abbusive nut jobs.
If i leave , financially challenging!
If i stay, will i cope? Plus costs of therapy is high
I really find Biblical resources the most helpful coming from the Creator Himself.
Nah no no, I love your accent. You get to the point in a helpful way, I appreciate the lack of story telling in your videos
I’m going to give it a shot Richard , thanks for your work ~
well said man. the send off was perfect
I've just happened upon a couple of your videos, absolutely fascinating and a relief to hear things explained that I have been trying to understand and convey for years. I have often wondered if it was actually 'I' that was the narcissist. I may have accepted that as my fate until she destroyed the relationship i had with our two daughters before the split and much more since. No matter what i do or say, she has complete control over their minds when it comes to my character. And i STILL dream about 'winning' her back. Absolutely crazy. I wonder if anyone reading this can point me in the direction of more of these very insightful lessons? It's rough isn't it? Especially when you're a deep thinker as i am, not much fun. Education is the key i guess
Your mannerisms flow nicely
Thanks!
I'd love to connect, Richard, to interview you on my Poadcast and upcoming show. You are a brilliant therapist and you pack a punch with some hard hitting home truths and with humour. You're amazing.
I absolutely adore you Richard.
If only my daughter met someone like you .
Sent from UK
Eventually these people will get their Karma!!
By far not all, they just move on destroying another’s life. But by the time you’re healed you will feel indifferent about it.
Idk that I followed anything to the T but I have officially broken free abs starting fresh.
Thank you for your content which has helped a lot.
That's a beautiful start.
@@adimeter thank you. It’s been refreshing
@@NDallas100 You are so welcome.
I love your mind and your ideas so much. Thank you for taking the time and effort to share.
i guess i did this already, and am now just wiping down the counters after the spill. letting it go once and for all.
You are good to help people Richard. Without your videos and your take on all of this stuff I would still be lost in a confused fog and thinking I was the crazy one. Love ❤ from the U.S.
This video is so helpful thank you for taking the time to explain with clarity and knowledge
Honestly I think my narc ex CAN read my mind, from anywhere on earth. After we split up, there was a time when she was leaving me alone. THen, I started to go out into the dating world, and all of a sudden BAM! "I miss you!" "are you seeing anyone?" "Would you get back together?". Of course its just coincidence, but god damn, her timing has always been spookily on-point... to the point where I often thought my phone was bugged. I even got a new phone (with a new google account) after we split just to be safe, and she still uncannily knows what I'm doing... Now I need to sweep my place for nanny cams lol. Ever see the Movie "BUG"?
Had the same experience. Cant explain it other than its some strange e energetic thing. The trauma bond maybe also energetic.
public education
is a relationship
with a narcissist
Very ((((timely)))) advice
Thank you so much for your information and honesty. God bless ❤🙏
Thank you Richard. I appreciate chering your knowledge.
Thank you for your on the spot speaking.This topic is so true.
Energy vampires I am telling you , I have lost 30 pounds in 4 months over this