You made us hit 3,000 batters | Fumble Dimension
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- Опубликовано: 24 июн 2020
- We tried to do something nice for the Mariners. You didn't let us.
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The spike in fan interest makes sense, you can't tell me people wouldn't tune in every night to watch the Mariners bean 17 batters
You're right! It would be crazy! The home crowd wold be absolutely nuts and you wouldn't dare wear an opposing jersey to a mariners game. I'm laughing hysterically typing this.
I'm sure in this Fumble Dimension, you'd have fans wearing shirts or signs that said: I'm just here for the FIGHT!
in this season charging the mound has become hockey fights everyone is tuned in
Poor Dave, have to announce all those beans.
It’s literally the plan the gm in futurama had
I wonder how many more games the Mariners would have won if they just threw the ball to Calvin Johnson every time instead.
😂
My guess is 3.
@@ethanlai1044 An MLB season's longer though so like maybe they get more?
I Look 9jO
@@DonSMDT mhm…probably 6
Something about "We have a player development update: The players are not developing" absolutely killed me.
as a Cubs fan, it hit home
Mariners: Constantly throw balls at the batters.
Team Owner: 👍😀
Fans: 👍👏👏👍
they're just out here playing dodgeball
The players: 😠😡🤬
Must be playing the Astros every game lol
They're probably bloodthirsty
This feels like a Blaseball post.
"There is no guarantee a game of baseball will ever end" That's chilling
It's the Monopoly of sports
It's the same with Tennis - just ask John Isner or Nicholas Mahut
Cricket used to have "timeless tests". The current version still goes for up to 5 days of 8 hours. The longest game was in 1939 and went for 9 days of play spread over 12 days (1 cancelled for rain, two rest days), and was very close to a result (which either side could have won) but had to be agreed as a draw as England would have missed the boat back home from South Africa, which still required an additional two day train journey before getting on the boat.
How does Bois expect us all to sleep at night now
the vibe of these videos are weird
So basically, "Jon and Kofie's plan to redeem the Mariners is ruined by one fan's inability to remember anything past the first letter of the alphabet"
That really ruined it for me. I stopped watching about half way in. I came back and watched the end. I know the guys really tried to make the best of this one, but I can honestly say it's their first production I didn't really enjoy. It would have been better if they didn't let 1 bored person ruin it.
@@nathanielremaly7369 You don't have to be smart to realize that the video would obviously be ruined by that.
@@nathanielremaly7369 idc if it is the fumble dimension or not. I just want entertainment. Not watching 3000 people be beaned with a ball.
I forget what I did. I may have contributed though.
Honestly, what did tjey expect? Every time something is put up to a poll or form or whatever on the internet, it goes poorly. Ask mountain dew, mcdonalds, or any of the others who made that mistake. And even if they limited it, people would have found a way. Never underestimate the power of a basement-dweller with too much free time.
"Congrats to the Mariners on their FOURTH win of the season."
> The date is September 11, 2001.
Of course.
They won 11-9 on 9/11.
the luck of winning your 4th game of the season 11-9 on the day of 9-11 is so freaking low that I have no idea if it is even quantifiable in this world
“I really do love the idea of conferring with your manager and then immediately throwing at a batter.” I died laughing
I have to agree with Jon. "If someone does that to your team, you _have_ to clear the benches. There's no other choice. Someone _has_ to go to the hospital for that."
I'm pretty sure Lou Pinella did this once, but I was pretty young when he was still managing...
"Coach, what should I do?"
"Go for the head."
I’ve been giggling at this nonstop for 20 minutes.
That manager? Billy Martin.
Thank you for your patience and excitement.
I hope you enjoy the episode!
WOOO
The hat recommends good videos man.
omfg it has been so long it feels like without a fumble dimension
This mustve taken so long to input all these decisions
You’re horror movie clip may be my favorite thing ever put out by SB Nation.
*Video starts*
Kofie: "Numbers. A crucial building block of our civilization"
Me: "Oh. oh boy."
Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes
@@krakenmetzger damn, they have it rough :(
@Definitely not Jeffrey Epstein Together we can stop this!
That opening felt like a middle-schooler BSing their way through a presentation. And yet we all sign up for this, willingly, and this is why we all love Kofie.
the spike in fan interest makes sense...
id love to watch my favourite ball team bean over 40 guys and get in 7 fights a game, go Mariners
Must be how hockey fans are spending the summer...
I'd buy season tickets in a heartbeat...
Dude, if that's all baseball was, I'd watch baseball.
I'd watch
it'd be more interesting than the last 20 years of their existence
The owner is happy because this is the most money he's ever made. Imagine the turnout for the games.
Imagine how many beers can be sold in a 90 run game.
Everyone’s showing up for all the brawls and bean balls 😂
@@Chellz801 Not gonna lie, I would definitely show up to watch my team bean no fewer than 10 batters a game.
Announcer: This is a perversion of baseball.. I don't know who is worse the owners for starting this or the fans for watching it? Also, at this time we are going to hear a word from our sponsor... Bush's Baked Beans...
Yeah but hed also be getting hella fines
The game literally has a goal that says "don't suck completely"!
You can suck, just don't suck that much
@@monstermayhem4367 If you fail this goal the owner will be "happy 🙂" and cut your payroll to a piddling $48,000,000
A lofty goal for the Orioles
@@Dasyati how can a man survive on just $48,000,000?!?! it's insanity!!!
@@heliveruscalion9124 it's barbaric, is what it is. just goes to show how clueless and out-of-touch with reality that ownership is, that they think a manager can get by on a measly $48M. can you imagine!
3000 hits and you know you're in the Hall of Fame.
3000 hit by pitches and you know you're in the Fumble Dimension.
Holy crap you're right
Unless you're Pete Rose
*Sad Rafael Palmiero noises*
Kinda feels like we need a whole video about the 1899 Cleveland Spiders.
foolish baseball has a great video on that team that i think most sb nation viewers would like
@@quanjano382 The Bois energy is strong with Foolish Baseball.
@Fries that’s not particularly true, though. If there was an event that rendered a stadium completely unusable, let’s say the Great American Ballpark gets infested with SUPERWEEVILS and the reds have to play in other stadiums, and the MLB refuses to let them play all their “road games” as “home games”, and the reds are absolutely ABYSMAL, it is very much possible, just ridiculously unlikely.
“Don’t suck completely”
“Win the World Series in 2 years”
😂
I really love the SBNation Seatle Mariners Cinematic Universe
I can’t be the only one who did a huge double take when the mariners 4th win was on 9/11/2001
Why does that matter lol
Their win was by far the most important thing to happen on that date
damn they missed my birth by one day
The score was also 9-11......
@@seanyourhero1765 Because all of sports was canceled that day.
“The Mariners are not competitors. They’re protagonists.” That line made me cry.
I wanted to like your comment... but it has 116 likes as I see it. As a Mariners Fan, I can't bring myself to disrupt it.
@@2011SoxMD36 lol perfect timing
"One pitcher says, "The tank is on E." That pitcher? Shortstop Carlos Guillen."
cmon man! its a farther throw 2 1st base from the left side of infield than mound 2 plate! :-)
A fun detail is that the shortstop had over 11 innings of work on the mound before Memorial Day
On the last day, the Oakland Athletics beat the Mariners 22-0. The Seattle Seahawks then went on to beat the Oakland Raiders 222-0.
lmaoooo
YES
The coach? John Heisman.
Farhan Suyitno *chorus of death*
LOLLL
“We’re taking the Mariners into the Fumble Dimension”
As if they aren’t already there and haven’t been there since their inception
The Mariners are the fumble dimension
@@Miss_Thavel_Official2468 They are the real-life fumble dimension. They exist in a world where anything can happen (except a world series appearance so far).
"You are not here to learn. You're here to destroy."
It's so wonderful and rare when an artist and their fan base are so perfectly in tune with each other.
If you combine their last names is literally “yeah bois”
Oh that's how you pronounce kofies last name?
@@bezllama3325 yeah bois
"The Mariners got their 4th win of the season."
**looks at date**
Me: ...oh
I knew I wasnt the only one to see that lol
Looks at score
oh NO
Not only the date, but the score too. NOW THAT'S FREAKY! O_O
yikes...
Look at their subscriber count as of June 28 😳
2-98 expectation: reach the playoffs
It would only take four plane crashes.
@@mbrooks415 "........it happens every spring."
the “don’t suck completely” in the owner feedback is always such whiplash, it really puts me on edge
"In real life, the Mariners would be appearing in front of a judge for this" 🤣🤣🤣
LOL
"On the next episode of the Fumble Dimension, we simulate the aging process of watching the Mets for 1000 years on 1 man for 10 minutes. It does not go well."
How much does he owe Bobby Bonilla by the end of it?
RetepAdam Hard to say because I don't think the Mets will be done paying that contract off 1000 years from now 🤣
Wait. Isn’t that the same visual effect used in Raiders of the Lost Ark when the Germans see the Ark revealed?
How could we let down Jon and Kofie like this, guys? We need to make them proud next time.
How did people vote on what happened
theyre not mad, just disappointed
Listen... if the fans made GOOD decisions, this wouldn't really have made a good Fumble Dimension episode. This basically went exactly the way it should have.
@@crazyli idk what you talking about. I would happily watch a video where those 2 are completely suprised by how good of a community we are
The Mariners essentially became the New New York Mets from Futurama with Leela bean balling ever single batter.
Nice
Bean! Bean! Bean!
44:31 “I hope you guys are ready. It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for.”
*checks date*
KOFIE NO
I’m gonna hope that wasn’t intentional lol
Oh no! I forgot this was the 2001 Mariners! Play the outro song again!
me: oh nice 2001 mariners sim
*sees whats about to happen*
oh dear god no
It’s crazy how accurately this game depicted mariners fans. A season with 4 wins and they became more interested in the team. Almost like “hey when’s that next win gonna come??”
It's not about winning, it's about sending a message
“I hated this so much I made a horror short in the middle of the video” Kofie....probably
When the world need him most Jon Bois...
Fumbled us into a dimension
Now that is pretty good
Put out like 7 videos in 3 months
Got engaged
Jon Bois is amazing, but this is 98% a Kofie video. Great vid though
45:34 "Congrats to the Mariners on their fourth win of the season"
* Sees date *
oh no...
The SCORE also 🤣🤣🤣🤣
So, both sides of the country were facing a tragedy
"It isn't just that we hit forty-seven batters in one game, ..."
I almost spat out my drink on that one.
The sad thing is after 21 games the Mariners would still be up a game up on the 88 Orioles
the pic of "old about to retire jay buhner" was from the 94 season when he was in his 20s {: haha he just look 50 cause his eroding hair
Underrated
People with a Mariners hat not sleeping well tonight
they haven't been
you think i sleep bro?
I bought a Mariners hat specifically because of the Dorktown series. I'm wearing it to bed tonight.
We're mariners fans. Thats just how it always is.
Mariners fans don't sleep. We haven't slept since the 2001 Playoffs.
"What's next, the Cleveland Browns?"
Please, the pain makes me feel something
Visiting the mound and then immediately hitting the next at bat several times in a game tickles me to my core.
53:54 Hold up, one of the wins of the 2001 Seattle Mariners came on September 11th?? By a score of 11-9?????
At least they weren't the Seattle Pilots
Now I'm curious and want a video about what happened in all the sports games during the real 9/11. Did any leagues insist the show must go on? The only thing similar I know is a guy did a perfect session at a local bowling alley and got his picture (and the date) put up on the wall for it. The local paper tracked him down later and he explained that he knew the towers had been destroyed, he decided to cope with it by going bowling.
@@NateCooper111 Or the New York Jets
Congrats on getting engaged Jon!
This is hilarious, cinematic -- can we please give it up for Kofie here?! The man went All Out despite his suffering and I respect that
The man went all in with no safety net, like a fanatic would do.
And that’s how I know he can be beaten. Because he’s a fanatic. And the fanatic is always concealing a secret doubt.
(before anyone gets their knickers in a twist, it's a quote from the Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy movie, referring to the ruthless head of the KGB)
Kofie literally ALWAYS looks and sounds completely and utterly baked. Lmao
The owners email made me laugh hysterically.
@Rexy 1776 That and Keith Foulke little league incident.
I’m hoping somebody watching this video who actually knows Keith Foulke shows him that part! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
a team with 110 win talent only winning 4 games is peak fumble dimension
116 win talent
This guy gets it.
No, its dumb
@@brokenking5044 that is the point
If I was in the Seattle area during that time I'd definitely buy tickets. Watching batters getting pegged by a baseball is pretty funny. Watching a full inning of betters getting beamed would be hilarious.
1:23 - Thank you Kofie for reminding me that there are grown-ass adults out there who weren’t even born when I graduated from high school.
I remember the M's first season....so....
I'm 22 years old and couldn't even speak during the 2001 season. i have no memory of 9/11 whatsoever
Under current scheduling structures, the teams that have finished with the best regular season records ever have all failed to win championships in the Big 4.
2007 Patriots: Lost Super Bowl
2001 Mariners: Lost ALCS
2016 Warriors: Lost NBA Finals
1996 Red Wings: Lost WCFs
Crazy right? At least when the Bulls had the record they won
@Noh Buddy Yeah but for 20 years the sports gods probably wanted order to be restored on this list and cursed the Warriors when they were one win away up 3-1
I am Atî
Ouch lol, thanks for saying that the nice parts haha. I’m from the States though, where you from?
I am Atî no worries about the long reply, I’m not doing anything. I mean part of Istanbul is in Europe so there’s that.
Yeah I think you’re right, I wish people could respect all sports, because every sport has the ability to give us amazing moments, both by watching it and playing it, but slowly but surely we’re getting there!
Isn’t 2019 Tampa bay lightning worse than 1996 red wings? Makes it more embarrassing cause they were swept by the wild card team
Low-key episode 7 of the history of the Seattle Mariners
Saying "...if there's anyone who could turn this curse around, it's definitely Jon and myself, right?" while wearing a sweater saying "humility" is a very nice touch.
from a browns fan: please make a fumble dimension on the 1-31 browns
Jon Bois made a pretty good about them a few years back
@@seanclarke2704 Which one was that?
Browns live in hell chart party
That would be good but there isn’t a good game to do an experiment with them in sadly
Would probably be too similar to the 0-16 Lions video. The browns can't even lose the best
45:34 So few wins and they managed to win the game on 9/11!?
Arguably the postponement of the season after 9/11 was a factor in the Mariners not winning the World Series.
Facts
They weren't ready for the playoffs at all. I have never forgotten Bret Boone literally crying, saying to the media "You don't know what it's like to hit against these guys". I was thinking "You just hit 139 RBIs, grow a sack'. They beat themselves. The Mariners that year had no clutch ability at all.
9/11 was the 9/11 of the 2001 mariners
At 3:44, you see the cameo of Jonny (Dog) Nelson, time traveller from 222-0.
Pretty good
My favorite sports writer / one time college football player!
@@julianbell9161 sports writers are useless
My favorite line in the whole video: “Player development update! The players are not updating... in fact, they are getting worse” 29:18
I read this quote in Cave Johnson’s voice
So let me get this straight.
In the Fumble Dimension, calling one play over and over again for an entire season leads to 3-13.
*Letting randos call a bunch of plays all across the board leads to 2-72.*
That's it. I'm getting this game and pressing one button for 24 hours. World Series here I come!
As a Lions fan, I find it hilarious that my team was able to go 0-16 with one of the best receivers of all time, Calvin Johnson on the team.
But it's gonna be different next season!
obligatory ...
ruclips.net/video/4Yq2Rwtcm9M/видео.html
In today’s episode kofie goes to hell
I wasn’t expecting a horror film in the middle, but that’s what you get when you enter...The Fumble Dimension
*This is just a terrible score, The*
Can we get a special where it's just the Astros getting hit 3,000 times?
FTW!! You might know what pitch is coming, but you don't know where!!!
Yankees
Wait a month.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I mistook you for a trash can."
tonight, we are all mariners
As a Cubs fan, having to experience my entire life until 2016 rooting for them, I really feel the message here. Sure, we got a win eventually, but that just makes me feel for all the teams that haven’t yet. I feel for all these teams that have been punchlines, that when they do win, I will be celebrating along with them.
And the Mariners are now the only MLB team that's never even MADE IT TO the World series.
"conferring with your manager and then immediately throwing at a batter" has really big Blaseball energy.
Also, this is exactly what I'd expect from what is basically Twitch Plays Baseball.
Now I want to know what this would look like without bean ball as an option.
Honestly better than 90% of modern horror movies.
This gave me an irrational hatred of the people on the internet who requested these things
Nice to meet you
you underestimate our power
see thats not irrational means. its quite rational
Seriously, this and choosing Jon's shitty play in the Lions one have kinda ruined these videos. I want to see something actually interesting, not a bunch of randos trying to be clever
@@SuperNuclearUnicorn You do know it's called the Fumble Dimension right? The results aren't supposed to be good
7:44 "it may as well allow you to turn around and chuck the ball into the upper deck"
*Trevor Bauering intensifies*
He did win the cy young award so hey, maybe it works
I did something similar many years ago when I exclusively ran Emmitt Smith on every play. The result actually broke the game when his rushing totals on the season hit 10,000 yards.
Well now they've gotta play Football Manager because I NEED to see how they struggle with soccer
/wot is record 4 own gols in a season?
@@rvog6584 I see World Cup Finals that have this record trough all the tournament. Too dificult to do that, but some kind a sabotage might be on the cards.
Well guess what
lucky you! I hope they do it again
i thought i might be able to find my part in this madness but i realise 1 minute in that would be impossible
Ive read your comment. You are one of us now. Sleep easy Master Groombridge.
This is the hardest I have laughed in a long time. Thank you for that fumble dimension and everyone that chose what the pitchers do.
and a big thank you to the guy who made them hit like 100 batters in a row
"This would have been a bigger deal if we were contending for something."
Oh, you're contending for _something._
TANK BOWL
I appreciate it Mr. Mariners Hat
Last time, the voters chose Jon Bois' strategy for the Detroit Lions and it led to destruction. No surprise it happens to the Seattle Mariners.
Jon's strategy of yeeting it up to CJ every play was more effective than the actual Detroit Lions, so that's not a failure.
@@NaruTheBlackSwan touche.exe
As a soccer fan watching this i find it absolutely astounding that MLB players play over 100 games a season. How do the players stay fit for this many games and who has time to watch that much baseball!!! Its crazY!
It's simple, most of your time as a baseball player is spent either sitting in a dugout or standing in a field waiting for something to happen. It's one of the only sports where a player could realistically eat a hot dog or a slice of pizza while still being an active team member on the field. In fact, during particularly slow games some outfielders have been known to hang out by the stands and do exactly that.
As a lifelong Charlotte Hornets fan who has lived in Washington State his entire life, I feel Kofie's sentiment about being an out of state Bengals fans. My fandom stems from Muggsy Bogues being a short player like me rather than gifted merch, but I feel it. Also, being a Hornets fan in the 90s (when I was like 8 years old) while my dad was a Bulls fan was particularly painful lol
I'm also a lifelong Mariners fan, so pain is the norm.
30:14 the angels just decided to change their logos and brand halfway thru the series and season
And they change it back and forth a couple more times too.
So weird!!!
Damn I really want some Padres talk from SB Nation now lmao. They’ve just felt weirdly irrelevant since Trevor Hoffman’s time, but not as irrelevant that it makes them relevant, like the Tigers, Orioles, etc.
I always forget that they exist
The padres have a 13 year playoff drought that’s still not as long as the Mariners or Marlins. They don’t suck enough, they should suck more.
The Padres are actually the sister team to the Mariners. So many comparisons can be made between the two: decades of futility, wasting hall of fame right fielders, geographically isolated. Hell, they're even considered "geographical rivals" for interleague play because there was nobody else left. It's called the Vedder cup after Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder and it's a big joke between the two fanbases. The Padres are straight up the NL Mariners.
16:30 that is the face of a man who has seen Hell and has come out the other side only to realize he has to do it 161 more times
I feel bad for kofie having to sit through a whole mlb season not even just a video game one
The perfect team to face the Astros in 2020
Ugh that mid season review just gave me the shivers. I can just imagine the sort of disinterested sociopath would write that email.
As a simulation of human psychology, the game falls markedly short. But as a simulation of what extreme wealth and disinterest will do to your soul, the behavior of the owner is a home run.
"We have a player development update: The players are not developing."
Outstanding. Kofie and Jon knock it out of the park again, this time in literal fashion.
That "...willingly" really hit me hard, for I'm an Arizona Cardinals fan (from Austria).
45:36 mariners won 11-9 on 9/11/2001
Legitimately laughed out loud just at seeing the title and runtime. I love you guys.
I paused at 33:11 and Kofie's face is the definition of "damn bro, you got the whole squad laughing"
“I like the idea of confirming with your manager and then immediately hitting a batter”
18:15 So many things weird about this HR celebration, first the player's head is perfectly on the catcher's shoulders making it look like he's somehow looking back at you & the way they animated the unison group stare then jump then stare blankly was gold added to the fact that homeboy just jumps on his own while the bros stare intently on
This is like the Futurama episode where Leela pitches for the New New York Mets.
⅞
The Kofie Hat Chase skit is probably one of the greatest pieces of film I’ve seen in a while.
This started to feel like an AVGN episode at some point... or at least the ones where he gets really wrapped up in his love for cinematography and has his episodes break into some sorta weird storyline intermission halfway through where he fights against some force xP
"Who did this"
"You did this!"
*Bops us with newspaper*
Ow!
Don't rub our noses in it!
this is both the most and least fumbliest of all of the fumble dimensions
It's amazing I watched an entire hour of this. One like = 1 prayer for kofie, who had to endure 2 weeks