Growing Up Without Love. The Impact on My Life
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- Опубликовано: 21 окт 2024
- This is a story of how I grew up not feeling love and how it has impacted my life. What I have learned and how I turned my life around...
#personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #selfimprovement #selflove
"The same boiling water that softens the potato hardens the egg." You are a survivor- be proud of yourself and go forward boldly. Help others who may be having a challenging time.
@@MOAB-UT you said it exactly! My goal is to help others 🙏❤️
@@DonnyLulu Nice. How- therapist or teacher? Being good at what you do also helps folks. Either way, wishing you all the best. I think you turned out just fine.
@@MOAB-UT just sharing through youtube for now, hoping to create a community later on 😊
@@DonnyLulu Today is the day. Tomorrows are never guaranteed. Go for it.
We eat Balut eggs 😂😂
Even if some people were not showing you the love you deserved at a young age, GOD still had an unconditional love for you forever even at the end of days.
Agree!
My childhood was very loveless too. And your story about mum dumping you at a relative and running away really triggered an old buried memory of mine. I relate to you a lot. But I’ve forgotten so much.
Thank you for sharing 🙏
I feel sorry that you had to experience this. I had a very dark childhood as well and just wanted to let you know you are not alone and I send lots of love and healing energy your way ❤.
Thank you for your kind words and loving energy! I appreciate that very much! 🙏❤️
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry for your bad childhood experiences. I have a very protective and sensitive heart for innocent young children who is supposed to be protected & loved by the parents.
@@marylee2809 thank you for your kind comment. I appreciate it! 🙏❤️
Oh my Gosh!!
@@memo1438x thank you for the hug! And comment! Your son is lucky to experience your love! 🙏❤️
The best thing you did now is you shared your story and emotions to here and thats the way you will become healed from your past.Stay strong and be good person..
Thank you for your comment. You are right it does heal and all the comments dies help. Thank you!
The mother in me, greets the beautiful soul you are and sends you so much love.
You are the whole ocean. Vast, deep and magnificent.
@@mfcmxtt6490 wow! Thank you for your amazing kind words! 🙏❤️
Amazing, intelligent story. You're a special human being❤
Thank you, it takes one to know one 😊
Its amazing you lived through it and turned out a pretty whole some being you have.
U r a rare one…. A light.
My heart delights in your existence sharing your story.
Thank you for taking the time.
😊🙏.
Wow! Thank you for an amazing comment! That really touches me and inspires me! 🙏❤️
Sharing your experience of emotional neglect during childhood was very courageous of you; but also your introspective realizations on how that damaged you and the inner-work that you've done on yourself, was very emotionally intelligent. Thank you for sharing; many people will relate with what you've been through and may benefit from your reflections on life!
@@Dream_more_age_less thank you for your comment. That was exactly my intentions, is to hopefully let people relate and heal themselves. Thank you for your observation and comment 🙏❤️
thank you so much for having the courage to reflect on this traumatizing experience and even braver for uploading it for the world to see. it resonates with so many of us i bet, but you're one of the very few who are courageous enough to have an open dialogue about it
@@roadracerdave7645 thank you for your comment. It made it all worth it! That motivates me to make more videos!
@@DonnyLulu you should. mental health is in!
@@roadracerdave7645 thank you for the encouragement
I can relate to this 100%. I'm still growing up and still learning how to reconcile my differences myself. Thanks again for sharing this story!
@@VirtuousJ1 thank you for sharing that!
Can relate with parents not ever telling me that they love me. That has a definite effect in the long-term when it comes to adulthood.
@@greysonbennett6788 agree! Thank you for sharing that!
💕💕💕GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME. HE LOVES YOU VERY MUCH💕💕💕
Thank you 🙏❤️
Thank you for sharing your story. You are one strong dude. Inspirational.
@@user-gw3ll4lo5e thank you for your kind comment!
Donny, cyber hugs, bro. Thanks for sharing your story. Cptsd can take a toll on one if not dealt with.
Thank you for the hug! I appreciate that! ❤
Vietnamese too. Growing up Ma and Daddy weren’t really there for me, they left me with my Grandma. And she wasn’t a kind old lady. At all. So yeah with all the child neglect plus the bullying I endure from classmates and cousins and all that, I can ignore. But what truly break the camel’s back is that when I was 10, I found out Daddy has been cheating on Ma for about 11 years. The thing that I wasn’t surprised, at that point, too mature for my age, from their interactions and the passive aggressive remarks, I honestly wasn’t surprised. But something breaks inside me that day.
Perhaps my believe in love and all. And I continue to feel myself breaking every time I found out a relative I trust cheated on their partner. I feel like I’m rotten from the inside. Being loved by friends and all but I feel like a fraud. No more no less.
I’m turning 18 on this November, I’m still trying to heal, I don’t want to live my life trying to analyze everything anyone said in fear of being deceived anymore. I can’t stand to be in a relationship, I’m scared.
Sorry for ruining your day, I can’t talk to anyone about this.
@@Kbengg-qs8fj not ruin our day at all, thank you for taking the time to share your story. You are young but i can tell mature. Everyone has a story, the more deep it is the more exciting our transformation is. You are about to go through some exciting transformation. Keep being curious and continue to grow, use your experience for fuel to transform.
All i can tell you for now is that you are special, and loved by the universe, keep being curious and continue to grow, your knowledge and experiences will shape the unique person that you are.
Let go of the past and live life with no fear. Spend more time with yourself and worry about relationships later. Most people your age are not ready for real relationships anyways. Continue to share when you get a chance…
@@DonnyLulu thank you, I still trying to be out of my comfort zone.
@@Kbengg-qs8fj yes being out of your comfort zone is healthy, that is where growth is. Just take it slow and continue to observe and grow from your experiences. Continue to be in a positive, giving, and loving state. Have you watch the movie called “the secret”? On youtube? (Its about Law of Attration)
@@DonnyLulu thanks, I will give it a try
Hello buddy. I have toxic parents myself. Narcissistic and gaslighting since I was 5 years old
Wow thank you for sharing your story 🙏❤️
I really disliked calling my moms new husband dad as a 16 year old man, but I did it for her and it was my only chance to be with my mom after she had abandoned me to my grandparents house for the past 8 years. She didn't marry my real father, but he wanted to marry her. So he left and I didn't grow up with him. There will always be that part of me that is missing as I knew me and my real father were alike in many ways. I'm angry
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s ok to be angry, enjoy the anger as long as you like then when you are ready, let that go and start to feel another set of feelings of forgiveness, acceptance, and gratitude of you coming through that experience positively. 🙏❤️
Thank you for sharing for your story.
Thank you for taking the time to comment 🙏
Thank you for your perspective. It was good to relate to some of it😊. You are doing a great job of not being angry with them. In these years ,you will grow ,and learn ,mature even more.May God give you blessings.🙏 i hope you can get lot of good things out of life and experience true friedships.
Have a nice day 😊!
@@Netti_8 thank you for your comment! 🙏❤️
Keep your head up brother, stay strong!!
Thank you i appreciate that!
Well spoken. Appreciate the vulnerability bro. Hoping ur doing well
@@justintran5930 thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to comment! 🙏
Man kinda same story iam going to be 18 November 12 people always hated me got sexually abused by a girl literally like you can call it ra.. man life is hard it’s tough parents fighting no travel never went anywhere not good clothes no food bad education life was a mess for me trying to change you know ❤take care
@@Shofi. your transformation will be exciting! Most people have it challenging early gets to enjoy after! Keep your head up and continue to grow!
That 16 part thats me at 32. I like your story I feel there's a lot in the world we are all facing, I believe parents mostly went through the older jobs.
@@dturokholmes thank you for sharing that!
Thanks for sharing Donny! Interesting…! My ex was Vietnamese. Indeed, he was born in Richmond but grew up in that culture even his father is American. Whenever I visited his family in NC , I’d never seen a warm ambience . It was one of the reasons let me to divorce. I expected them to communicate with me , talk to me, show me some in -laws love, plan special days together. Never happened. I met his relatives, as well. So, I would not call it as a culture thing .
@@SFALCON-nd4fl maybe most people are not happy and dont feel loved so they dont know how to give love?
@@DonnyLulu True, most people are not. And most people have forgotten the value of certain things😔: Giving love, being empathetic, respecting etc...
@@SFALCON-nd4fl agree!
@@DonnyLulu I think culture and the people around you can affect you positevely or negatively, I am Méxican and I can say that the majority of people in latin América appreciate and are capable of love, but you are right there is a lot of people who dont know how to give and receive love everywhere.
@@Annayasha agree. Thank you for sharing!
My childhood was exactly like yours except the step dad and step brothers. I grew up with an abusive brother and was left alone most of the time.
@@SweetKarki-nv8wp i feel you. Thank you for sharing!
@@DonnyLulu Sure thing! As an adult I find myself staying to myself a lot and isolating myself. I have a hard time showing kind emotions and expressing them because I never got love when I was little.
Thank you for sharing as well. You are so brave sharing this.
@@SweetKarki-nv8wp thank you for sharing! Thank you for motivating me, your comments gives me energy!
I highly recommend giving a listen to Gabor Mate's podcasts and books, he talks about child hood trauma and the subtle impacts it plays even in our adult lives. He has helped me changed my perspective on life.
@@eggstravagent3801 will do! Thank you for sharing!
You look so much younger than ... wait, I wrote this already in another video comment box. I'm so amazed !
I like your sense of humor. And thank you for taking the time to comment twice 😄
You had a tough childhood and I can understand how it has affected you to become who you are today….you seem to have made the best of the situation instead of becoming a statistic of crime in society 👍
Thank you for your kind comment! I really appreciate that! 🙏
I can relate in some ways to you brother keep your head up
@@TheSantos173 thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to comment 🙏❤️
its very much a chinese thing. growing up i thought it was just my family . later i found out its a chinese culture kind of thing. chinese also worship money above everything too. i notice with a lot of chinese ppl i meet too. this could be chinese fobs , chinese raised in south america, chinese born in canada or usa. other cultures /races i met werent like this as much
Im vietnamese, but i know what you mean. Thank you for sharing that!
I live in London and I have not heard the word F.O.B in a long time😂.
@@Matthew_Ssali 😂
我也曾经这样想过，但是，现在我已经不这样想了！希望有一天你也不会这样想， 那时侯你成长了，也会更幸运！没有不爱孩子的父母，因为，每个人都有一颗心！只是每个人对爱的解读不同；表达不同；能力不同，条件不同；身体健康和精神健康不同；等等..........每个人都会尽自己的最大努力的！有些人之间的缘分可能浅，包括父母和亲人。有些时候怎么做都不会尽如人意，比如你妈妈训那些欺负你的孩子们，但是，没有帮助反而他们更加反感和变本加厉欺负你，也有些人抱怨父母不帮助反抗，做人不容易。你应该想办法忘记童年一切不好的回忆，留住好的，比如某个老师，某个朋友曾经关心过爱过你。你看到别人家的爱，呵护也未必是你理想的那样。你回忆一次不好的记忆，那些不好的就又伤害多一次，又在你脑袋里刻下更深的烙印我认为。请您忘记忘记忘记吧！人生每时每刻都是新的开始，过去无法改变，别人无法改变，但是，现在和未来你可以！祝您有一个新的开始！从改变你相信的开始吧..............明天会更美！谢谢！🙏
Thank you. I have forgiven and is a better person because of it
Thanks for sharing mate. Your childhood sounds awful honestly, but you have proven that you can overcome the past and not let it destroy your future. My parents weren't perfect and did fight when I was growing up, but they always loved me and it showed. Later when you are an adult you see your parents more as just people rather than just your parents, if that makes sense. I can't stand bullies, I was bullied in school but my dad always defended me or showed me how to deal with them. I'm sorry you didn't have a father present in those early years. I have a two year old boy and I try to show him as much love and attention as I can and so does his mum. Do you have kids and if so how has your childhood affected how you parent your own children?
Peace from Australia ✌️
Thank you for your comment and sharing your story. I do not have kids and ok not having kids. I love kids but just never felt like it was time. I’m not sure if my childhood had a little part in not wanting kids now to think of it. What part of Australia are you from?
@@DonnyLuluI respect that. For me, my boy gives me a reason to get up in the morning. Life felt pointless and empty before he came into my life.
I'm from South Australia, but my mum is from the Philippines and I have family in the Bay Area 👍
@@JasonISF yes having children is a beautiful thing. I like Australia, I flew into Carns and took a juicy van all the way down south along the coast. Philipines is also one of my favorite, I like canyoneering in Cebu, sunset tour in Boracay and island hoping in El Nido. Thank you for connecting 🙏❤️
I love you long time donny lulu❤
@@johnrinke8080 thank you John 😂❤️
💙🙏
Thank you for commenting 🙏❤️
You are most welcome ❤️🙏
I was mentally and physically abused since I was 5. I am emotional neglect, physical neglect and cognitive neglect
Thank you for sharing your story 🙏❤️
That sounds heartbreaking and cruel. And it is crucial for me to make sure, if I ever marry again, my childs needs are met.
About the tough love, it is weird but I feel, it is... communist? People from communist countries or other areas with extreme poverty and cruelty have it. They also have a love for money that is too extreme and I think it stems from their experiences of poverty and or feeling of helplessness and unsafety due to the circumstances and regime. So they feel like working 24/7 will help and to some extent it does. They do love their children, I think. They just have a difficult time showing it.
My childs father is asian, so it is interesting for me to listen to you, he cannot talk about it.
I taught him, you are supposed to give physical contact to our child. Now he became pretty good at it and snuggling etc. is just normal.
Do you have some somatic exercises or emdr to help you get the trauma out of your system? You do not have to answer to it, just giving some hint about it.
And sorry about my english, I am trying.
And being that self-reflecting at 16! Impressive. Some do it with getting sick, when I was little and got sick, my parents would give me a bit of time and care. That stopped later. I remember singing myself to sleep at a certain age.
And kudos for not having resentment. Sometimes I see a good person and I wish that he or she had had those people in their life at a young age who told and showed them: You are so precious. Just because you are here, you make me happy and you are giving me joy with your mere existence.
Sometimes aunts or grandparents will do that. But sometimes not at all...
@@anwa6169 wow! What an amazing comment! Thank you for also sharing your story. I am lucky to have to study personal growth and spirituality, i now am healed and have no resentment to my step brothers or mom. It had made me the person that i am, and i am grateful. Thank you for your kind words. Its people like you that inspires me to make videos like this! Thanks you for taking the time to share your love 🙏❤️
@@DonnyLulu ... and what a person you have become. 👍👍
Ah...sounds like America. Wunderful, ain't it?
😃
Can you tell me when did you figure this all out? I am in the same position.
It was a growing process. I was about 25 when i really accepted myself since I learned new set of beliefs through learning spirituality.
We’ll sir you are handsome 🎉
I do not believe in human love
What is love, it is fake
Only god loved
Love is an energy, it can come from many things in life, animals, nature, human, god, ect. If you already had a chance to experience god’s love then im excited for you to be open to feel other forms of love, because god is in everything… 🙏❤️
What a terrible upbringing. It reminds me of mine as well (also Vietnamese). I was neglected by my parents (I honestly think my mom hates me) and my brother and sisters did not treat me well either. So much verbal abuse and non-support for my future. I relied on good friends more than anything to stay in college. I had the chance to leave the USA, something I wanted to do anyways and I don't miss my family at all. I'm so much happier. My family actually asked me why I left and when I tell them, they seem surprised. They're really delusional.
I agree with you. Most of the time the parents don’t realize that we have feelings, wants, and desires. You have been through alot, just see as they played a roll to help make the person that you are and that is ok. You are a bigger person to forgive. Im glad you are happy now 🙏❤️
@@DonnyLulu thanks, glad you learned from your experience to improve yourself too. Not everyone does.
@@SurpriseMeJTyeah it’s hard brother ❤
@@SurpriseMeJT thank you 🙏❤️
nonsense, our Father loves each of us more than we know. maybe your teachers came through different forms
@@largefamilyreviews9 thank you for sharing your perspective 🙏
I think there’s not a lot of support or love in Asians households.
I think its just a culture thing. Im sure there is love, it’s just not shown in a healthy way
@@DonnyLulu Yeah, sounds on point.
@@justintran3265 👍❤️
Church
@@佩珠黎 are you suggesting for me to go to church?
@@DonnyLulu Jesus love u
@@DonnyLulu Jesus love u
@@佩珠黎 thank you 🙏❤️
This is a skit channel, right? YT is all skits and AI now. Dead YT.
@@dynodon9182 i agree with you that youtube is coming with more AI and skits channels, But im sure that you have the ability to spot whats real or not. Thank you for your comment, if this is a skit channel, then I should be getting an acting award soon? 😄. I like your name Dynodon! Thank you for stopping by 🙏
Time for some self help, get yourself a cat companion.
I would prefer a dog 😊