Story 1: Did he really just say that it's okay to have the OP attend ALL of the BOYFRIEND'S friends' weddings but he is allowed to skip the wedding HER 1 friend is having?! After they RSVP'd yes?! The bachelor party can be moved or missed, the wedding cannot. I'm not sure if this would be a deal breaker or not, but there is a much bigger respect issue going on here.
I didn't even pick up on that part - very good point. But one thing I noticed in addition - typically, you RSVP to weddings to let the couple know how much food to order from whatever service is catering their wedding, how many chairs to set up, etc. Not going when you already said yes to the invite means you're throwing away the money they spent planning a spot for you. I would've said that if he really wants to go, he should reimburse the couple for that sunk cost, since he WANTS to bail out, not doing so for an emergency or something excusable. But in light of what you said, yeah, he's an ass if he ditches the wedding.
It feels like double standards. I'll go to all these weddings of people I don't know but you won't go to one wedding of a person you don't know. There has to be some sort of compromise, God forbid he misses one bachelor party.
I would agree, but he’s not just a guest. He’s a groomsmen that has a higher responsibility to his friend’s wedding. This isn’t him simply not wanting to go because he doesn’t know then, this is him having more important responsibilities as groomsman. Now if he was groomsmen for both weddings, he would be a ass for going to a bachelor party over the wedding of another.
@@socketyellow3 but doesn't that make less sense? What kind of groomsmen doesn't know the date of the bachelor party and/or schedules it the same day as an event he's already confirmed going to?
@@supergirlsbr the bachelor party don’t have a solid date as the wedding does . Typically not being told when it is a month to weeks before it happens. Also it’s typically held by the groomsmen at the convenience of the groom.
If it is coordinated by the groomsmen it's an even more of a double standard. The RSVP'd to her friends wedding months in advance so he knew the date. He should have said something when the planning was happening. The bachelor/bachelorette can be done even the week of the wedding and should take into consideration all the schedules of the people involved not just the grooms. IMO the BF simply didn't care to give OP the same courtesy she had given him when she went to 2 weddings of people SHE didn't knew for HIM. Plus since they RSVPd "yes" for her friends wedding he has been in the counts for seating, food, drink, etc., meaning the friend has already committed money that would be wasted if he didn't show. That's just an inconsiderate move.
Have to disagree with your opinion on the first one. OP should have expectations of her boyfriend continuing with previously made plans. if BF double booked when the bachelors was being planned, then he is a jerk, but otherwise NAH; BF should be telling the rest of them that he is unavailable until later.
Getting all food groups in your diet is important, but it’s also important to like what you eat. It’s normal to not eat “perfectly” all the time, especially when eating out. The dad needs to learn to chill and be flexible or he’s going to give his daughter a complex.
Story 1: Steven, you missed a very important problem here. It matters not that bf will be a groomsman, but two other factors come into play. Let me explain: OP is NTA. Dump him. He drags you to all of these events that are composed of strangers to you, yet he cannot fullfil a commitment that he agreed to and committed to many months ago because he does not know anyone. Let him go to the party and, while he is gone, either change the locks, or get your stuff out and get a place of your own. This way, he has no control over where you go and who you go with, and he cannot argue with you any more about not knowing your friends. He is controlling, and this will only get worse.
This... I had to go back and listen to the story when I heard Steven's reaction. It's a "personal problem" for OP. The BF knew the date but simply didn't care.
story 3: the husband is going to cause eating issues in his kids. forcing a neurodiverse child to eat something they don't like is damaging and goes further, the texture may cause them physical pain or be very distressing. teaching healthy eating isn't forcing your kids to eat food they don't like, I'm sure the husband would be upset if he was forced to eat food he doesn't like. dude can't even respect his own kids, shit dad
Story 1: OP is not the jerk. You made a commitment to go to the wedding when you RSVP’d and outside of some kind of medical or family emergency you don’t break commitments. Plus, if this dude is that good of a friend then they’ll definitely see each other in the future and can hang out later. Same thing would apply if the chick wanted to go to a bachelorette party but had made another commitment.
Yessss , I'm glad someone said it. Textural issues are not taken anywhere near as seriously as they should be by nurotypical parents of neurodiverse kids.
And can we all agree that neurodivergent or not, the nutritional value of one piece of lettuce and one anemic slice of tomato is pretty much nonexistent. Dad needs therapy for his control issues too.
even as a kid (now adult) on the spectrum, the amount of times I've been texture hell was when my ex step mother tried to make me eat new veggies (like sit at the table until you've done it) with every safe food meal. I understood her intentions but the kale incident was the worst. This is why my safe veggies are peppers of all kinds and onions.
Story 3 Mom sounds like my grandma. When I was a kid, my mom would fill my plate with food & tell me I couldn’t leave the table until my plate was clean. Whenever we were at my grandma’s house, she’d sit at the table with me & eat my food 🥰
story 3: NTA but you, the one retelling the story is you forgot that the child has SENSORY ISSUES with those foods and there are better ways to teach a child to eat veggies than to force it!
@@keatonwheatley8907 Storytime, the one reading out the story to us in the video overlooked the fact that the child has SENSORY issues with FOOD! thats a whole different matter
Story 12 about the sister's wedding. NTA. I guess there's one very positive thing about OP being invited to the sister's wedding and that is that the totally unreasonable rules were made clear BEFORE OP agreed to take part rather than afterwards "oh, by the way, you need to ...". This way OP has the option of RSVPing "NO", which she did.
On story 1, the BF knew he had plans for several weeks. Not only is OP not the jerk, the BF is the jerk. OP has gone above and beyond to go to 2 of his friend’s weddings. When is it her turn to have her BF meet her friends, he wants nothing to her. Talk about rules for thee and not for me BS!
Restricting food will cause an ED OP should leave him. Especially with Nuerodivergence. Leave him please he’s abusive. The trust circle Bs is authoritarian
Story 10: NTA From your description of the events available at the venue, I agree that it is not a place for young children, especially 4 year olds. The risk of injury is of major concern. The parents either get a babysitter, or sit out of the party.
Story 8: NTA Time to get your own place, and I hope that you did not pay them your rent. If an inflatable mattress in the basement is good enough for you, then it is good enough for guests.
He made commitment to be a groomsman, that is more important then being a guest. I doubt he rsvp yes knowing they would be on the same day. If he was a groomsman for both, this would be a different story.
@@socketyellow3 The bachelor party is usually a date agreed on by the group, and it was scheduled after he RSVP'd. Either he was part of picking that date which means he screwed up and then ditched his commitment to his gf OR his friend should be accepting that picking a date without consulting people leads to conflicts sometimes. In both cases the boyfriend is the jerk because he made a commitment to attend an event with someone he loves and is bailing on her.
Vegetables with every meal - absolutely. HAve the child order a side salad, or a bowl of fruit... don't make them put somehting they don't want on there
First one not the jerk. If he has responded as going he should be held to go. weddings cost money per person for meals etc that would have been paid for already. Does not matter he doesn't know the person he told his gf that he would go and they have made plans already. if they are the same day. Perhaps if different days but same weekend then they might be able to go to both but I'd say he said he's going to the wedding first. normally if groomsman he should have know the plans of his mate before they were set in stone. and should have said to his mates that he has to go to a wedding x day
He can cancel, is it annoyance to the bride and groom? Yeah, but he is a groomsman that has responsibilities that would be noticed if he missed. Over being a guest to another wedding. Does it suck? Of course it does, but from the sounds of it op’s friend wedding isn’t nearby. Otherwise they could just meet up with his friend at night, when most bachelor party’s happen
@@socketyellow3 technical he can sit at home and do nothing. He did make plans to be at this wedding and rspv? Did he cost the bride and groom of the wedding money by saying he would turn up who knows. Is he a jerk for saying he'd go to the wedding and then cancelling... Yes. Would he be a jerk for saying he won't go to the bachelor party yes but I'd say less so since he couldn't make it as he rspv to a wedding. To him yes that's more important. To his gf no so much. Who is the jerk? I'd say him he made plans and is now trying to cancel to make his bachelor party. If he wasn't included in the plans then is he important to it?
@@cyberdyne-network yeah for the most part, but clearly he is important if the groom asked him to be a groomsmen. It’s the best man who likely arranged this nightmare of a schedule clash. Similar to how the maid of honor is typically in charge of that. Now if he was just a guest, your point of if he even mattered would been solid. But he clearly does matter to the groom
@@socketyellow3 True. The best man should have checked with others if the date would work for them. Perhaps he did and that date was the best they could do. However I stand by that the gf is not a jerk for being upset he cancelled the wedding plan. Most weddings have a cost per person and therefore is a butthole thing to say you're going and cancel after being counted and paid for. I know I'm assuming here it could be no issue for him to cancel going to that wedding. In that case the only issue would be with the gf wanting him at the wedding with her for dancing etc perhaps. In that case I'd say she's not the jerk for being upset. But she should understand if he's close with his friend. As you say he's a groomsman. From her side of the story it sounds like he acted like a jerk in his reaction back to her but could be one-sided. But it's Am I the jerk. In which case I would say she isn't in being upset.
Story 11 about daughter wanting to drop out of college to start an on-line business. OP and his wife are absolutely correct in refusing to provide funds saved up for the daughter's college to start the on-line business. The reality is that most new businesses fail within a year or two of starting. It is very rare that a new business takes off, particularly when founded by people with no business experience. Also, in the unlikely event that the business idea is sound, others with more experience and resources will see it and jump in with better websites etc. If the daughter insists on going ahead anyway and it succeeds, then fine, but if it fails, OP will still have the college funds available to allow the daughter to complete her studies later.
Story 13: I dated a vegetarian many years ago, and when we went to the best French restaurant I phoned ahead and talked to the chef about my date. Given the warning he prepared something so tasty I wished I had ordered it myself. If one has dietary limitations a little forewarning can make the meal special.
As someone with food allergies, I feel for the girl in story 13. I wouldn't have sent the tip. In fact, after getting sick off the soup, I wouldn't have ordered anything else.
For story 1 theres a lot of nuance. I agree with everyone saying that she has to go to all these weddings but he wont go to this one and thats a fair point but also I fully understand that as a groomsman a bachelor party is kind of one of those events you have to go to. just like if she as a bridesmaid had a bachelorette party of bridal shower. Now main issue in my eyes would be when is the deadline to RSVP for the wedding and did they pass it, even if they already said "yes". A lot of vendors have to have the final count of guests by a certain date and if someone says theyre attending and then cancells, the couple are still on the hook for the eg. catering cost which can be steep. If thats the case the boyfriend should be reimbursing the couple for that meal if he decides not to attend. Also people saying they should break up over this.. well I think this one situation is not a good indicator for their compatibility, sure if this type of thing is a pattern of behaviour but we dont have enough info. And OP doesnt HAVE to go to the other weddings if she doesnt want to and sees it as unfair that he wont go to her friends wedding but she has his friends weddings. Overall I think she's not really TA but I also dont think the boyfriend necessarily is either.. (again really depending on the RSVP status)
I saw it more as the boyfriend not caring in the slightest. Usually they coordinate on the date for the bachelor party and pick a day together that works for all of them. BF disregarded the wedding he RSVP’d to. Not to mention it wasn’t just a plus one invite, it was addressed to his name.
Probably, but that's beside the point. Even if it were an absolutely awful name, you shouldn't go around saying so to Wren's friends and family, especially in the presence of Wren. Doing so is extremely impolite. How would Katherine like it if OP kept saying something like "I'm glad I haven't got a long nose like Katherine"?
Story 13: NTA. Sam is. He INVITED you, so he should pay your share. I hate invitations where I have to pay anything, unless I want something super expensive. Even then, I would not expect other gurests to cover my greedy costs.
Last story about OP and the restaurant. Firstly, Sam, the organiser claimed to OP that there would be menu options to suit OP and there weren't. Having failed on that point, she should have taken into account OP's situation and suggested a lower amount for OP to the whole group. She failed to do that too. OP then sent $30, which covered the soup and the "loose meat", but not the tip. OK, OP ordered those two items, though Sam ended up eating the soup, so $30 was probably a fair sum. However, if you add the proportion of the tip to the $30 it comes to nearly $40. But for some reason, OP sent $50 in total. Well, I guess the moral of the story is don't go to a restaurant with Sam again.
For sure, plus, the tip?!?1 Hello, the service was not good and for OP it was downright insulting at times. Fine if Sam wants to reward the server for a great time but OP had a very different experience and should have said something about it. $30 was fair, the tip was excessive, and Sam is not someone to go out with in the future.
Last story: I don't think OP's the jerk but I definitely live my life by the lyrics of a Ziggens song. "Let's not split hairs, let's split the cost." Obviously if someone's taking advantage of the situation and getting all the most expensive things on the menu along with a ton of cocktails etc it might be different but in most cases there's a few bucks of difference and they roughly cancel each other out over time. I really embraced that after a situation where someone insisting on splitting the bill into separate checks ended with everyone having to pay an extra $60 or so because we just barely missed our train. I'd gotten something super cheap and the person arguing for separate checks had the most expensive, I was trying to say it was alright and we didn't have the time, we were about 50 feet away when the train left the station.
Story 10 about OP's adult-only birthday party. I love kids, but the reality is that when they are present, the event revolves completely around them, particularly when the kids in question are a pair of boisterous four year olds, which is what OP is trying to avoid. I haven't had a proper conversation with my three (adult) children for years. Why not? It's not because I never see them, but because whenever I do see them, their kids are always present. No kids means no kids and as OP says, if he makes an exception for these two, it's unfair on everyone else with kids and in any case two kids are enough to completely change the party.
Story 1 Op is not the jerk as she went to multiple weddings of her bf's friends yet he RSVP to her friend's wedding yet decided since he doesn't know op's friend he's going to the bachelor party instead. Yes I know he's the groomsman and yes I know op and him would just be guests at her friend's wedding. The problem is I highly doubt with him being a groomsman that he had no say about the date as the groomsman is more often than not part of the party planning. I also find his comment very callous which puts more suspicion on him and the timing. Let's not forget that when you RSVP a wedding he would also be counted for food, alcohol(if not a dry wedding), seating for the venue, party favors, thank you for attending cards, not to mention just one person can make the difference of the size of cake needed to make enough for everyone (found this one out the hard way for my own wedding). So to sum it up the bf is the jerk
Story 6 about the girlfriend's mum moving in. This is a difficult one and I think it depends on what the mum is like and what sort of relationship OP has with her. OP hints that she would just sit around drinking all day, doesn't have a job and isn't looking for one etc. How old is she? If, she's old and frail and incapable of looking after herself, that's very different to someone who's quite capable of getting a job, but sees OP's house as a golden opportunity to sponge off OP.
Story 7: NTA Tell this so-called "friend" that the swimsuit has to be laundered, and regardless of the size, shape, or color, you are not responsible for doing HER laundry. Either she takes her stuff home, or she digs through your garbage bin to retrieve it.
I made it through 3.25 years at a private collage. Unfortunately, I left. It was a choice bc every. single. class left for my major HAD to be with a professor who HATED me. Or maybe we just didn't get along. Idk. But there was no way I could pass her classes. And she had been made the head of my major. Example of her insanity? "Write a short story without a genre."
Story 10: Make an exception for 4 year olds?! I can understand an argument for an older teenager (making sure they don't drink alcohol), but 4 year olds? Nope. It's your birthday. No kids means no kids.
Story 6: NTA Your house, your rules. I feel the same way as you do, in that the mom will sit on her fanny all day, and have a free ride. If gf's sister is so concerned, then SHE can harbor her mom, regardless of the size of her or your house.
Story 12: You are NTA. Good grief, I have never in my life been invited to a wedding where I had to "pay to attend." If a wedding gift is not good enough, then tough luck. Car rentals for luxury vehicles is not cheap, and she is going to be sorely disappointed at the RSVP replies.
Story 5: NTA You feel that it is a jerk move, but a jerk has earned her the jerk prize. Sell her ticket, but don't tell her that you did. Make sure that you have transportation to and from the venue and hotel, so that when it is time to leave, give her the envelope with the money inside of it, and tell her that you hope she enjoys her evening, get into YOUR ride, and go. Then block her on your phone and all other social media. P.S. I truly hope that YOU have a wonderful, memorable night.
Story 3: NTA Take your husband to the next appointment so that the doctor can explain your daughter's condition to him, and that said doctor explains why husband must stop his nonsense. BTW, were french fries included with, or added to, this burger order? If so, your daughter had her veggies.
Wren < Catherine anyday. Catherine is such a Karen name ngl. She seems like the kind of person to say "can I call you [insert Western name] " when she meets someone with an, easy to pronounce, ethnic name.
Well in story 3 the father is eeeeeevil, its pretty clear the neuro divergent child is physical/ mental pain having to eat tomatoes (probably cause they have a weird texture). So the father is abusing his child forcing her to eat weird slimey stuff. Just get salad that isnt weird or have extra non weird vegetable later.
Story 11: you and your wife are NTA. You are not reneging on your promise, your daughter is. Gently suggest to her that she finish her final year, and get her degree. Explain to her that the degree can be used as a back-up, just in case their business venture does not work out. It is her company, so she has to cough up the money.
Story six: If OP lets his MIL move in she will smoke and drink until the home smells like a cheap bar. Definitely time to tell her no and help out with the first month's rent at a trailer park far, far away.
Story 4: listened to it like 5 times to make sure, but he spelled out Wren (R-W-E-N.) No shade, I get he reads dozens of these a day. Just thought it was funny.
Op should have said to her sister i law that she knows she id jealous of her name and tired of her lying about that. Becouse that is what she is jealous. Dont hate it. She loves is.
Sorry, first story. The commitment was made and now he wants to party with his friends. Why can't he ask for the friends party to be rescheduled due to a prior commitment?
Story 4: NTA Time to go NC with Katherine, even if that means missing your husband's family events. Maybe the family can compromises and invite you to every second event, and Her Royal Hynee to the events that you will attend. She is profane and toxic.
Last Story: YTA. It sucks that OP couldn't eat the food they ordered snd was disappointed but they should have asked for it to be taken off the bill. It's not ok to stick other people with the bill because OP had a bad time.
Excuse me? Random dog?? Pets are family so its completely reasonable to request a picture removed. Dogs are not “random” and its not cool to post something without the dog owners permission… its like taking a picture with someones baby and they tell you remove the photo and you say no its just some random baby… like no its not a random baby…
Story 1: NAH Your BF is the groomman for another wedding engagement. He has a higher duty to attend that one, but the RSVP is difficult. Story 2: NTA You saw your son's last play. Story 3: ESH. You went behind your husband, so you are cosignning it is ok to undermine his authority. Your husband needs to understand your child's sensory issues better. Story 4: NTA She is a terrible SIL. YOu should go NC/LC Story 5: NAH. You need to remove yourself from this. The longer you wait the more it sucks. She will be upset, so you need to be ready for that. Story 6: NTA She is your gf. Her mom is not owed your space. Story 7: NTA IF it a small item, then they should just take it back. Story 8: NTA Move out. They are using you. Story 9: NTA. Why should you delete it? It only bothers her because she keeps checking your profile. She is your ex. Story 10: NTA. You made an adult only party. You don't make such an exception. Story 11: NTA YOu made a education fund not a getting started in life fund. Story 12: NTA. YOu need to take 2 weeks off, spedn $4k, do yoga every week. Nope on that. Story 13: NTA. YOur friend sucks twice. THey bully uou to pay and they lied about being accomadating. Not to mentioned the face, you couldn't eat and didn't response one way or the other. You shouldn't have paid anything since your fiend brought you there and you were going to delined initially.
Story 1: A groomsman needs to be at the wedding, not the bachelor party. He can miss 1 party as he's been to several already. He wants to skip the 1 WEDDING OP's asked him to go to, AND that he PROMISED he'd attend, after OP's gone to all of HIS friends weddings. And out of all those weddings, within the same friend group, he'd miss a single party due to the commitment he made to OP. How could he possibly not be TA for canceling a commitment with his girlfriend just so he can go party with his friends again?
@@hmspretender In many bachelor parties, groommen have responsibilities as well. When one signs up to be a groomsman, you will have responsibilities outside of the wedding, so to reduce it to just wedding is not realistic for most weddings. In fact, literally story 12 was where the MoO had to do weekly activities. Yes, I know MoO/BM is not the same as groommen and bridemaids, but many traditions do require additional tasks for the whole party. If the party gets scheduled after he agreed to a wedding, his responsibilities can supersede his appearance at a wedding. There may be more context where it can go either way, but based on what was said including the groomsmen designation I cannot say one way or another. Now, if the groommen designated was incorrect then he is the jerk.
@@pakole86 Bachelor parties are not like Bachelorette parties and groomsmen so not typically have nearly as much to do as MoHs/BMs typically do. OP said that his friend group has had several weddings, meaning several bachelor parties. Which means that the same group of guys has had several parties recently. If it is so vital that he attend this party he should have discussed it with the groom immediately upon finding out the date. The way OP wrote it, it sounds like the bachelor party is on a separate weekend from the actual wedding, therefore it can more easily be rescheduled or the boyfriend can man up and say i made a commitment for this day and time but I can stop by afterwards. The boyfriend clearly does not believe OP should be treated fairly or with respect. He also doesn't believe that he needs to honor the commitments he makes with OP even though she honors hers. This is about more than just one party.
@@hmspretender I agreed this is more about more than one party. Relationships should not be transactional. I went to 3 of your friends' weddings, so you owe me 3. That is not good dynamic. Lastly, I think the bf may be the jerk. When he says, "You are not my mother." and other stuff. That is a weird response. It should be like I know I said this, but I got to do this because I agreed not knowing the date. This is either tension as the OP is struggling to control her bf to be a proper so or he is jerk and does not consider anything responsibilities to his gf (OP) is worth it or something in between.
@@pakole86 IMO, the way OP worded it it doesn't sound like she's expecting it to be transactional. But she is expecting that if he makes a commitment to her he keeps it. And she's probably hurt by what he said as well. I mean, what did she give up or skip to go to the weddings of his friends? I get that to this 1 friend it's important, but if they really are all from one friend group then the boyfriend has partied with them a lot and he and the groom could always arrange to meet up after the wedding. I would at least hope that the boyfriend would at least attend the wedding, if not at least part of the reception as well, and then go to the Bachelor Party. He should be an adult and compromise with her.
Does the SIL in story 4 not know about Wrens the kind of bird? Do they think it's just some trendy butchered spelling "White People" name like Kaiyleigh or Vectorea? Or something?
Story 3: Gotta build habits early. OP wouldn't be the her if she just took off the tomato's but eht is rong with the lettuce? I feel OP is going to play a role in her kid becoming fan if she keeps up this one time ting. I am with the husband here. You gotta start it early if you want them to eat right.
the kid has Sensory issues with those 2 veggies SPECIFICALLY and its a wrong way to teach a kid to eat veggies by FORCING it also it was a treat, a treat is not supposed to be healthy if its rare
Story: 2,4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and 13. In these stories, the OPs are not the ah. Story 5- I think OP should go to the concert with someone else and give back the money to the hopeful ex-friend and be done with her. Story 8- OP moves out and distances themselves from them. Story 10- I want to go to that party, but also, OP said it's adult only and it's OP's birthday party. Story 13- That's not a friend, and OP shouldn't hang out with them. Story 1- I see NAH because being a groomsman is more important than going to the wedding of someone you don't know; however, I understand OP's view that they already RSVP for her friend's wedding, so it's a difficult situation. Story 3- I see ESH, The husband, for not understanding the daughter's condition and pretty much downgrading the daughter's condition, but OP is a bit of an Ah for undermining him, basically showing the kids you don't have to listen to him
Story 1: Did he really just say that it's okay to have the OP attend ALL of the BOYFRIEND'S friends' weddings but he is allowed to skip the wedding HER 1 friend is having?! After they RSVP'd yes?! The bachelor party can be moved or missed, the wedding cannot. I'm not sure if this would be a deal breaker or not, but there is a much bigger respect issue going on here.
Sounds to me like he didn't want to go to her friends wedding, so he had HIS friend plan the bachelor party for that time.
I didn't even pick up on that part - very good point. But one thing I noticed in addition - typically, you RSVP to weddings to let the couple know how much food to order from whatever service is catering their wedding, how many chairs to set up, etc. Not going when you already said yes to the invite means you're throwing away the money they spent planning a spot for you. I would've said that if he really wants to go, he should reimburse the couple for that sunk cost, since he WANTS to bail out, not doing so for an emergency or something excusable. But in light of what you said, yeah, he's an ass if he ditches the wedding.
Exactly...she wanted one thing
It feels like double standards. I'll go to all these weddings of people I don't know but you won't go to one wedding of a person you don't know. There has to be some sort of compromise, God forbid he misses one bachelor party.
I would agree, but he’s not just a guest. He’s a groomsmen that has a higher responsibility to his friend’s wedding. This isn’t him simply not wanting to go because he doesn’t know then, this is him having more important responsibilities as groomsman. Now if he was groomsmen for both weddings, he would be a ass for going to a bachelor party over the wedding of another.
@@socketyellow3 but doesn't that make less sense? What kind of groomsmen doesn't know the date of the bachelor party and/or schedules it the same day as an event he's already confirmed going to?
@@supergirlsbr the bachelor party don’t have a solid date as the wedding does . Typically not being told when it is a month to weeks before it happens. Also it’s typically held by the groomsmen at the convenience of the groom.
@@supergirlsbr my guess is they decided to make it that weekend at 2-4 weeks before
If it is coordinated by the groomsmen it's an even more of a double standard. The RSVP'd to her friends wedding months in advance so he knew the date. He should have said something when the planning was happening. The bachelor/bachelorette can be done even the week of the wedding and should take into consideration all the schedules of the people involved not just the grooms.
IMO the BF simply didn't care to give OP the same courtesy she had given him when she went to 2 weddings of people SHE didn't knew for HIM.
Plus since they RSVPd "yes" for her friends wedding he has been in the counts for seating, food, drink, etc., meaning the friend has already committed money that would be wasted if he didn't show. That's just an inconsiderate move.
Have to disagree with your opinion on the first one. OP should have expectations of her boyfriend continuing with previously made plans. if BF double booked when the bachelors was being planned, then he is a jerk, but otherwise NAH; BF should be telling the rest of them that he is unavailable until later.
All she has to do is not go to his friends wedding due to an important obligation of her own, see how he feels.
Yup... That would be what I'd do 😂😂
Getting all food groups in your diet is important, but it’s also important to like what you eat. It’s normal to not eat “perfectly” all the time, especially when eating out. The dad needs to learn to chill and be flexible or he’s going to give his daughter a complex.
Story 1: Steven, you missed a very important problem here. It matters not that bf will be a groomsman, but two other factors come into play. Let me explain: OP is NTA. Dump him. He drags you to all of these events that are composed of strangers to you, yet he cannot fullfil a commitment that he agreed to and committed to many months ago because he does not know anyone. Let him go to the party and, while he is gone, either change the locks, or get your stuff out and get a place of your own. This way, he has no control over where you go and who you go with, and he cannot argue with you any more about not knowing your friends. He is controlling, and this will only get worse.
This... I had to go back and listen to the story when I heard Steven's reaction. It's a "personal problem" for OP. The BF knew the date but simply didn't care.
story 3: the husband is going to cause eating issues in his kids. forcing a neurodiverse child to eat something they don't like is damaging and goes further, the texture may cause them physical pain or be very distressing. teaching healthy eating isn't forcing your kids to eat food they don't like, I'm sure the husband would be upset if he was forced to eat food he doesn't like. dude can't even respect his own kids, shit dad
Story 1: OP is not the jerk. You made a commitment to go to the wedding when you RSVP’d and outside of some kind of medical or family emergency you don’t break commitments. Plus, if this dude is that good of a friend then they’ll definitely see each other in the future and can hang out later. Same thing would apply if the chick wanted to go to a bachelorette party but had made another commitment.
As someone with a child on the spectrum, that father needs to see a therapist to understand......
Yessss , I'm glad someone said it. Textural issues are not taken anywhere near as seriously as they should be by nurotypical parents of neurodiverse kids.
As an Autistic, I approve this message.
And can we all agree that neurodivergent or not, the nutritional value of one piece of lettuce and one anemic slice of tomato is pretty much nonexistent. Dad needs therapy for his control issues too.
even as a kid (now adult) on the spectrum, the amount of times I've been texture hell was when my ex step mother tried to make me eat new veggies (like sit at the table until you've done it) with every safe food meal. I understood her intentions but the kale incident was the worst. This is why my safe veggies are peppers of all kinds and onions.
@@LocalTorchwoodIntern that's awful you had to go through that! I NEVER forced my child
Story 3 Mom sounds like my grandma. When I was a kid, my mom would fill my plate with food & tell me I couldn’t leave the table until my plate was clean. Whenever we were at my grandma’s house, she’d sit at the table with me & eat my food 🥰
story 3:
NTA
but you, the one retelling the story is
you forgot that the child has SENSORY ISSUES with those foods and there are better ways to teach a child to eat veggies than to force it!
What
@@keatonwheatley8907 Storytime, the one reading out the story to us in the video overlooked the fact that the child has SENSORY issues with FOOD! thats a whole different matter
I dont understand why Katherine hates the name Wren so much??? Wren and Ren are fairly common names that have been used for a pretty long time?????
I bet she doesn't care about name THAT much, just hates OP for whatever reason and uses name as an excuse to lash at her.
Story 12 about the sister's wedding. NTA. I guess there's one very positive thing about OP being invited to the sister's wedding and that is that the totally unreasonable rules were made clear BEFORE OP agreed to take part rather than afterwards "oh, by the way, you need to ...". This way OP has the option of RSVPing "NO", which she did.
On story 1, the BF knew he had plans for several weeks. Not only is OP not the jerk, the BF is the jerk. OP has gone above and beyond to go to 2 of his friend’s weddings. When is it her turn to have her BF meet her friends, he wants nothing to her. Talk about rules for thee and not for me BS!
Restricting food will cause an ED OP should leave him. Especially with Nuerodivergence. Leave him please he’s abusive. The trust circle Bs is authoritarian
Story 10: NTA From your description of the events available at the venue, I agree that it is not a place for young children, especially 4 year olds. The risk of injury is of major concern. The parents either get a babysitter, or sit out of the party.
Story 8: NTA Time to get your own place, and I hope that you did not pay them your rent.
If an inflatable mattress in the basement is good enough for you, then it is good enough for guests.
Should have told his controlling a55 that french fries are potatoes, and potatoes are vegetables. Let her have one damn burger.
Story 1 not a jerk. He made commitments. He shouldn't agree to double book.
He made commitment to be a groomsman, that is more important then being a guest. I doubt he rsvp yes knowing they would be on the same day. If he was a groomsman for both, this would be a different story.
That was my question: did HE make the commitment or did she make it for both of them?
@@socketyellow3 The bachelor party is usually a date agreed on by the group, and it was scheduled after he RSVP'd. Either he was part of picking that date which means he screwed up and then ditched his commitment to his gf OR his friend should be accepting that picking a date without consulting people leads to conflicts sometimes. In both cases the boyfriend is the jerk because he made a commitment to attend an event with someone he loves and is bailing on her.
Going Dutch is going Dutch. You only pay your portion even on a date nowadays. Always ask for separate checks.
Sooooo...there were no side vegetable options? Ask the kid if she wants one of those!
Vegetables with every meal - absolutely. HAve the child order a side salad, or a bowl of fruit... don't make them put somehting they don't want on there
First one not the jerk. If he has responded as going he should be held to go. weddings cost money per person for meals etc that would have been paid for already.
Does not matter he doesn't know the person he told his gf that he would go and they have made plans already.
if they are the same day. Perhaps if different days but same weekend then they might be able to go to both but I'd say he said he's going to the wedding first. normally if groomsman he should have know the plans of his mate before they were set in stone. and should have said to his mates that he has to go to a wedding x day
He can cancel, is it annoyance to the bride and groom? Yeah, but he is a groomsman that has responsibilities that would be noticed if he missed. Over being a guest to another wedding. Does it suck? Of course it does, but from the sounds of it op’s friend wedding isn’t nearby. Otherwise they could just meet up with his friend at night, when most bachelor party’s happen
@@socketyellow3 technical he can sit at home and do nothing. He did make plans to be at this wedding and rspv? Did he cost the bride and groom of the wedding money by saying he would turn up who knows. Is he a jerk for saying he'd go to the wedding and then cancelling... Yes. Would he be a jerk for saying he won't go to the bachelor party yes but I'd say less so since he couldn't make it as he rspv to a wedding.
To him yes that's more important. To his gf no so much. Who is the jerk? I'd say him he made plans and is now trying to cancel to make his bachelor party. If he wasn't included in the plans then is he important to it?
@@cyberdyne-network yeah for the most part, but clearly he is important if the groom asked him to be a groomsmen. It’s the best man who likely arranged this nightmare of a schedule clash. Similar to how the maid of honor is typically in charge of that.
Now if he was just a guest, your point of if he even mattered would been solid. But he clearly does matter to the groom
@@socketyellow3 True. The best man should have checked with others if the date would work for them. Perhaps he did and that date was the best they could do.
However I stand by that the gf is not a jerk for being upset he cancelled the wedding plan.
Most weddings have a cost per person and therefore is a butthole thing to say you're going and cancel after being counted and paid for. I know I'm assuming here it could be no issue for him to cancel going to that wedding. In that case the only issue would be with the gf wanting him at the wedding with her for dancing etc perhaps.
In that case I'd say she's not the jerk for being upset. But she should understand if he's close with his friend. As you say he's a groomsman. From her side of the story it sounds like he acted like a jerk in his reaction back to her but could be one-sided. But it's Am I the jerk. In which case I would say she isn't in being upset.
@@cyberdyne-network oh the girlfriend isn’t a ah either, it’s just bad circumstances.
Story 11 about daughter wanting to drop out of college to start an on-line business. OP and his wife are absolutely correct in refusing to provide funds saved up for the daughter's college to start the on-line business. The reality is that most new businesses fail within a year or two of starting. It is very rare that a new business takes off, particularly when founded by people with no business experience. Also, in the unlikely event that the business idea is sound, others with more experience and resources will see it and jump in with better websites etc. If the daughter insists on going ahead anyway and it succeeds, then fine, but if it fails, OP will still have the college funds available to allow the daughter to complete her studies later.
Story 13: I dated a vegetarian many years ago, and when we went to the best French restaurant I phoned ahead and talked to the chef about my date. Given the warning he prepared something so tasty I wished I had ordered it myself. If one has dietary limitations a little forewarning can make the meal special.
As someone with food allergies, I feel for the girl in story 13. I wouldn't have sent the tip. In fact, after getting sick off the soup, I wouldn't have ordered anything else.
For story 1 theres a lot of nuance. I agree with everyone saying that she has to go to all these weddings but he wont go to this one and thats a fair point but also I fully understand that as a groomsman a bachelor party is kind of one of those events you have to go to. just like if she as a bridesmaid had a bachelorette party of bridal shower. Now main issue in my eyes would be when is the deadline to RSVP for the wedding and did they pass it, even if they already said "yes". A lot of vendors have to have the final count of guests by a certain date and if someone says theyre attending and then cancells, the couple are still on the hook for the eg. catering cost which can be steep. If thats the case the boyfriend should be reimbursing the couple for that meal if he decides not to attend. Also people saying they should break up over this.. well I think this one situation is not a good indicator for their compatibility, sure if this type of thing is a pattern of behaviour but we dont have enough info. And OP doesnt HAVE to go to the other weddings if she doesnt want to and sees it as unfair that he wont go to her friends wedding but she has his friends weddings.
Overall I think she's not really TA but I also dont think the boyfriend necessarily is either.. (again really depending on the RSVP status)
I saw it more as the boyfriend not caring in the slightest. Usually they coordinate on the date for the bachelor party and pick a day together that works for all of them. BF disregarded the wedding he RSVP’d to. Not to mention it wasn’t just a plus one invite, it was addressed to his name.
And if for no other reason it'll show an employer that you finish what you start 💯
Wren is a pretty name.
Probably, but that's beside the point. Even if it were an absolutely awful name, you shouldn't go around saying so to Wren's friends and family, especially in the presence of Wren. Doing so is extremely impolite. How would Katherine like it if OP kept saying something like "I'm glad I haven't got a long nose like Katherine"?
@@chrisengland5523 I'm thinking OP should have started saying stuff like that. Maybe Katherine would have learned.
Story 13: NTA. Sam is. He INVITED you, so he should pay your share. I hate invitations where I have to pay anything, unless I want something super expensive. Even then, I would not expect other gurests to cover my greedy costs.
Last story about OP and the restaurant. Firstly, Sam, the organiser claimed to OP that there would be menu options to suit OP and there weren't. Having failed on that point, she should have taken into account OP's situation and suggested a lower amount for OP to the whole group. She failed to do that too. OP then sent $30, which covered the soup and the "loose meat", but not the tip. OK, OP ordered those two items, though Sam ended up eating the soup, so $30 was probably a fair sum. However, if you add the proportion of the tip to the $30 it comes to nearly $40. But for some reason, OP sent $50 in total. Well, I guess the moral of the story is don't go to a restaurant with Sam again.
For sure, plus, the tip?!?1 Hello, the service was not good and for OP it was downright insulting at times. Fine if Sam wants to reward the server for a great time but OP had a very different experience and should have said something about it. $30 was fair, the tip was excessive, and Sam is not someone to go out with in the future.
Last story: I don't think OP's the jerk but I definitely live my life by the lyrics of a Ziggens song. "Let's not split hairs, let's split the cost." Obviously if someone's taking advantage of the situation and getting all the most expensive things on the menu along with a ton of cocktails etc it might be different but in most cases there's a few bucks of difference and they roughly cancel each other out over time. I really embraced that after a situation where someone insisting on splitting the bill into separate checks ended with everyone having to pay an extra $60 or so because we just barely missed our train. I'd gotten something super cheap and the person arguing for separate checks had the most expensive, I was trying to say it was alright and we didn't have the time, we were about 50 feet away when the train left the station.
Story 10 about OP's adult-only birthday party. I love kids, but the reality is that when they are present, the event revolves completely around them, particularly when the kids in question are a pair of boisterous four year olds, which is what OP is trying to avoid. I haven't had a proper conversation with my three (adult) children for years. Why not? It's not because I never see them, but because whenever I do see them, their kids are always present.
No kids means no kids and as OP says, if he makes an exception for these two, it's unfair on everyone else with kids and in any case two kids are enough to completely change the party.
Story 1 Op is not the jerk as she went to multiple weddings of her bf's friends yet he RSVP to her friend's wedding yet decided since he doesn't know op's friend he's going to the bachelor party instead. Yes I know he's the groomsman and yes I know op and him would just be guests at her friend's wedding. The problem is I highly doubt with him being a groomsman that he had no say about the date as the groomsman is more often than not part of the party planning. I also find his comment very callous which puts more suspicion on him and the timing. Let's not forget that when you RSVP a wedding he would also be counted for food, alcohol(if not a dry wedding), seating for the venue, party favors, thank you for attending cards, not to mention just one person can make the difference of the size of cake needed to make enough for everyone (found this one out the hard way for my own wedding). So to sum it up the bf is the jerk
Wren: "keep my name, out yo fucking mouth!"
I think that would be appropriate. They can decide if they want to do the slap or not xp
Story 6 about the girlfriend's mum moving in. This is a difficult one and I think it depends on what the mum is like and what sort of relationship OP has with her. OP hints that she would just sit around drinking all day, doesn't have a job and isn't looking for one etc. How old is she? If, she's old and frail and incapable of looking after herself, that's very different to someone who's quite capable of getting a job, but sees OP's house as a golden opportunity to sponge off OP.
Story 7: NTA Tell this so-called "friend" that the swimsuit has to be laundered, and regardless of the size, shape, or color, you are not responsible for doing HER laundry. Either she takes her stuff home, or she digs through your garbage bin to retrieve it.
Hell no mother in law 😎
Story 9: NTA If she does not like it, she does not have to go to your Instagram page.
I made it through 3.25 years at a private collage. Unfortunately, I left. It was a choice bc every. single. class left for my major HAD to be with a professor who HATED me. Or maybe we just didn't get along. Idk. But there was no way I could pass her classes. And she had been made the head of my major. Example of her insanity? "Write a short story without a genre."
Story 10: Make an exception for 4 year olds?! I can understand an argument for an older teenager (making sure they don't drink alcohol), but 4 year olds? Nope. It's your birthday. No kids means no kids.
Leave stuff at your house , throw it out it does not fit you
Just tell the sister you'll go to the next one 😊😎
In story 8 I think that they should move out. They’re only there because of their parents insisting and can easily leave
Wren isn't a bad name, it's a pretty bird.
> Online business
Let me guess, an MLM?
Story 2: NTA, plain and simple.
Story 6: NTA Your house, your rules. I feel the same way as you do, in that the mom will sit on her fanny all day, and have a free ride. If gf's sister is so concerned, then SHE can harbor her mom, regardless of the size of her or your house.
Story 12: You are NTA. Good grief, I have never in my life been invited to a wedding where I had to "pay to attend." If a wedding gift is not good enough, then tough luck. Car rentals for luxury vehicles is not cheap, and she is going to be sorely disappointed at the RSVP replies.
Story 5: NTA You feel that it is a jerk move, but a jerk has earned her the jerk prize. Sell her ticket, but don't tell her that you did. Make sure that you have transportation to and from the venue and hotel, so that when it is time to leave, give her the envelope with the money inside of it, and tell her that you hope she enjoys her evening, get into YOUR ride, and go. Then block her on your phone and all other social media.
P.S. I truly hope that YOU have a wonderful, memorable night.
Story 3: NTA Take your husband to the next appointment so that the doctor can explain your daughter's condition to him, and that said doctor explains why husband must stop his nonsense. BTW, were french fries included with, or added to, this burger order? If so, your daughter had her veggies.
Wren < Catherine anyday. Catherine is such a Karen name ngl. She seems like the kind of person to say "can I call you [insert Western name] " when she meets someone with an, easy to pronounce, ethnic name.
Well in story 3 the father is eeeeeevil, its pretty clear the neuro divergent child is physical/ mental pain having to eat tomatoes (probably cause they have a weird texture). So the father is abusing his child forcing her to eat weird slimey stuff. Just get salad that isnt weird or have extra non weird vegetable later.
Dear OP start tossing the things they leave at your house in the trash ..Trust me they will stop and shut up.
Story 11: you and your wife are NTA. You are not reneging on your promise, your daughter is. Gently suggest to her that she finish her final year, and get her degree. Explain to her that the degree can be used as a back-up, just in case their business venture does not work out. It is her company, so she has to cough up the money.
It's my first time listening and because of your complete obliviousness to the very first story I will not be listening anymore or again.
😊
Story six: If OP lets his MIL move in she will smoke and drink until the home smells like a cheap bar. Definitely time to tell her no and help out with the first month's rent at a trailer park far, far away.
Story 4: listened to it like 5 times to make sure, but he spelled out Wren (R-W-E-N.) No shade, I get he reads dozens of these a day. Just thought it was funny.
The internet business isn't a sure thing but a degree is forever and she has already come so far.
Tomatoes aren't really vegetables though.
230÷5=46... op paid wayyyy too much. I would have just sent $15 plus a $5 tip.
Op should have said to her sister i law that she knows she id jealous of her name and tired of her lying about that. Becouse that is what she is jealous. Dont hate it. She loves is.
Sorry, first story. The commitment was made and now he wants to party with his friends. Why can't he ask for the friends party to be rescheduled due to a prior commitment?
The guy in the last story was trying to make a profit.
Hard disagree on the first story - YTA for saying the OP is the a
When should do a will smith
Story 4: NTA Time to go NC with Katherine, even if that means missing your husband's family events. Maybe the family can compromises and invite you to every second event, and Her Royal Hynee to the events that you will attend. She is profane and toxic.
Last Story: YTA. It sucks that OP couldn't eat the food they ordered snd was disappointed but they should have asked for it to be taken off the bill. It's not ok to stick other people with the bill because OP had a bad time.
Excuse me? Random dog?? Pets are family so its completely reasonable to request a picture removed. Dogs are not “random” and its not cool to post something without the dog owners permission… its like taking a picture with someones baby and they tell you remove the photo and you say no its just some random baby… like no its not a random baby…
Op you skipped ur Biological child’s recital for a step kid. Ugh ur in deep doo do. His daughters father was Mia too
He made the right choice.
Story 1: NAH Your BF is the groomman for another wedding engagement. He has a higher duty to attend that one, but the RSVP is difficult.
Story 2: NTA You saw your son's last play.
Story 3: ESH. You went behind your husband, so you are cosignning it is ok to undermine his authority. Your husband needs to understand your child's sensory issues better.
Story 4: NTA She is a terrible SIL. YOu should go NC/LC
Story 5: NAH. You need to remove yourself from this. The longer you wait the more it sucks. She will be upset, so you need to be ready for that.
Story 6: NTA She is your gf. Her mom is not owed your space.
Story 7: NTA IF it a small item, then they should just take it back.
Story 8: NTA Move out. They are using you.
Story 9: NTA. Why should you delete it? It only bothers her because she keeps checking your profile. She is your ex.
Story 10: NTA. You made an adult only party. You don't make such an exception.
Story 11: NTA YOu made a education fund not a getting started in life fund.
Story 12: NTA. YOu need to take 2 weeks off, spedn $4k, do yoga every week. Nope on that.
Story 13: NTA. YOur friend sucks twice. THey bully uou to pay and they lied about being accomadating. Not to mentioned the face, you couldn't eat and didn't response one way or the other. You shouldn't have paid anything since your fiend brought you there and you were going to delined initially.
Story 1: A groomsman needs to be at the wedding, not the bachelor party. He can miss 1 party as he's been to several already. He wants to skip the 1 WEDDING OP's asked him to go to, AND that he PROMISED he'd attend, after OP's gone to all of HIS friends weddings. And out of all those weddings, within the same friend group, he'd miss a single party due to the commitment he made to OP. How could he possibly not be TA for canceling a commitment with his girlfriend just so he can go party with his friends again?
@@hmspretender In many bachelor parties, groommen have responsibilities as well. When one signs up to be a groomsman, you will have responsibilities outside of the wedding, so to reduce it to just wedding is not realistic for most weddings. In fact, literally story 12 was where the MoO had to do weekly activities. Yes, I know MoO/BM is not the same as groommen and bridemaids, but many traditions do require additional tasks for the whole party.
If the party gets scheduled after he agreed to a wedding, his responsibilities can supersede his appearance at a wedding. There may be more context where it can go either way, but based on what was said including the groomsmen designation I cannot say one way or another. Now, if the groommen designated was incorrect then he is the jerk.
@@pakole86 Bachelor parties are not like Bachelorette parties and groomsmen so not typically have nearly as much to do as MoHs/BMs typically do.
OP said that his friend group has had several weddings, meaning several bachelor parties. Which means that the same group of guys has had several parties recently.
If it is so vital that he attend this party he should have discussed it with the groom immediately upon finding out the date.
The way OP wrote it, it sounds like the bachelor party is on a separate weekend from the actual wedding, therefore it can more easily be rescheduled or the boyfriend can man up and say i made a commitment for this day and time but I can stop by afterwards.
The boyfriend clearly does not believe OP should be treated fairly or with respect. He also doesn't believe that he needs to honor the commitments he makes with OP even though she honors hers.
This is about more than just one party.
@@hmspretender I agreed this is more about more than one party.
Relationships should not be transactional. I went to 3 of your friends' weddings, so you owe me 3. That is not good dynamic.
Lastly, I think the bf may be the jerk. When he says, "You are not my mother." and other stuff. That is a weird response. It should be like I know I said this, but I got to do this because I agreed not knowing the date. This is either tension as the OP is struggling to control her bf to be a proper so or he is jerk and does not consider anything responsibilities to his gf (OP) is worth it or something in between.
@@pakole86 IMO, the way OP worded it it doesn't sound like she's expecting it to be transactional. But she is expecting that if he makes a commitment to her he keeps it. And she's probably hurt by what he said as well. I mean, what did she give up or skip to go to the weddings of his friends?
I get that to this 1 friend it's important, but if they really are all from one friend group then the boyfriend has partied with them a lot and he and the groom could always arrange to meet up after the wedding. I would at least hope that the boyfriend would at least attend the wedding, if not at least part of the reception as well, and then go to the Bachelor Party. He should be an adult and compromise with her.
Story 4....lol that is a stupid name.
Does the SIL in story 4 not know about Wrens the kind of bird? Do they think it's just some trendy butchered spelling "White People" name like Kaiyleigh or Vectorea? Or something?
Story 3: Gotta build habits early. OP wouldn't be the her if she just took off the tomato's but eht is rong with the lettuce? I feel OP is going to play a role in her kid becoming fan if she keeps up this one time ting. I am with the husband here. You gotta start it early if you want them to eat right.
the kid has Sensory issues with those 2 veggies SPECIFICALLY and its a wrong way to teach a kid to eat veggies by FORCING it
also it was a treat, a treat is not supposed to be healthy if its rare
Story: 2,4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and 13. In these stories, the OPs are not the ah.
Story 5- I think OP should go to the concert with someone else and give back the money to the hopeful ex-friend and be done with her.
Story 8- OP moves out and distances themselves from them.
Story 10- I want to go to that party, but also, OP said it's adult only and it's OP's birthday party.
Story 13- That's not a friend, and OP shouldn't hang out with them.
Story 1- I see NAH because being a groomsman is more important than going to the wedding of someone you don't know; however, I understand OP's view that they already RSVP for her friend's wedding, so it's a difficult situation.
Story 3- I see ESH, The husband, for not understanding the daughter's condition and pretty much downgrading the daughter's condition, but OP is a bit of an Ah for undermining him, basically showing the kids you don't have to listen to him
Wren is a terrible name.