The irony is that the very behaviors that we engage in to secure love, belonging, acceptance, safety, and security require us to abandon ourselves. We abandon ourselves in an attempt to keep others from abandoning us.
Thanks for your comment! Yes, exactly! This happens because we haven't yet developed a full sense of a separate "self" yet as children, so we need the love and approval from our mothers/parents to survive and feel safe, good, lovable, etc. They are primary, we need to depend on them. We need to believe they are safe. This self-abandonment is a survival mechanism in us as humans, which helps us survive in the short-term and develop *some* sense of self, but later as adults, we have to reclaim those parts of ourselves we had to abandon in order to survive the dysfunctional family. Then, we can feel our full wholeness as adults.
I am grateful for your excsllent book. I read your blogs years ago and remember rereading them as precious flowers. Last week in the (dutch) librbary I suddenly noticed your name on the cover of the book. I smiled and immediately borrowed it. Is there something like this for absent father too?
The irony is that the very behaviors that we engage in to secure love, belonging, acceptance, safety, and security require us to abandon ourselves. We abandon ourselves in an attempt to keep others from abandoning us.
Thanks for your comment! Yes, exactly! This happens because we haven't yet developed a full sense of a separate "self" yet as children, so we need the love and approval from our mothers/parents to survive and feel safe, good, lovable, etc. They are primary, we need to depend on them. We need to believe they are safe. This self-abandonment is a survival mechanism in us as humans, which helps us survive in the short-term and develop *some* sense of self, but later as adults, we have to reclaim those parts of ourselves we had to abandon in order to survive the dysfunctional family. Then, we can feel our full wholeness as adults.
I am grateful for your excsllent book. I read your blogs years ago and remember rereading them as precious flowers. Last week in the (dutch) librbary I suddenly noticed your name on the cover of the book. I smiled and immediately borrowed it.
Is there something like this for absent father too?
This is so good and on point. Thank you 💜
Glad it was helpful!
Grateful your work 💗💖🌸
Kathleen Greater Vancouver BC, Canada 🙏🏻🌻🦋💃🇨🇦
Cathy from Arizona
Hi Cathy!
Can't find session 1...... Is there a link somewhere?
Hi Leah, this the only session in that series that appears on You tube. Thank you for watching!
Thx Bethany, I'm considering doing the online course but am in the middle of a move (country) so might not be the ideal time.....