Is Anyone Normal?
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- Опубликовано: 5 июн 2024
- Not every emotional response is pathological. Not all fear or depressed mood is pathological. We’re emotional beings who respond to our environment. And your response takes on a certain flavor that’s influenced by your psychological make up.
We talk about personalities and define them based on multiple criteria. But the latest version of the diagnostic and statistical manual, 5th edition, proposes another model for defining personality characteristics. It uses a dimensional approach. And it really boils down to two dimensions: self and interpersonal interactions.
Self can be broken down further into identity and self-direction.
Interpersonal interactions are broken down into your capacity for empathy and intimacy.
References
Boag S. Ego, drives, and the dynamics of internal objects. Front Psychol. 2014;5:666. Published 2014 Jul 1. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00666
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"The only people whom you think are "normal" are those you don't yet know very well."
Remembered this from somewhere..
That’s a good one 👍🏽
School of life
believe this wholeheartedly, but then people call me a cynic.
@@jones2277 that’s funny. i think it’s a pretty optimistic/empathetic way of viewing others.
Your comment merely reflects your own personal negative outlook you need to try to challenge yourself to grasp positive ideas and thoughts.
Dr Marks is a Guiding Light in a world filled with so much darkness...You inspire me and so many worldwide.♥️
Thanks so much both of you 😊
💗💗
Dr Tracey is in maximum level of mental education capacity. She is the best.
I totally agree!
Absolutely True
Carl Jung said “Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.”
Very one that try to be the best and knows there limits
I have a friend who loves to tell the story about the time his dad convinced a man that the band AC/DC wasn't real. All for continuing to play pranks after he was warned to stop. Whole shop was in on the joke. He had to get therapy for his delusion.
Lol he was a funny guy 😂
@@trashcatlinol who had to go for therapy? Your dad or his friend?
😂 i'm joking
Good story 👍
Hahaha ooh Carl u and your things 🤣🤣
I think that most people are afraid to be who they are. So they hide who they are in front of others
😭 Stop attacking me.
It's easy to hide myself because others usually leave me out or criticise me for who i am
Sometimes expressing who we are can lead us to a lonely path which can be frustrating. This is why finding people that would accept us for who we are is such a blessing. In case we do not have that, it becomes very difficult. I'm sorry everyone that feels this way.
@@TravelingPhilosopher
we dont need to be with people to feel happy
Its a delusion this society makes us feel like we need that...
@@notwerkinginthishouse8634 Yes, we can be happy being by ourselves, invest time in ourselves for our psychological and physical well-being, growing and doing things that would make us happy, practicing a lot of self-care and love. If someone or people drop by with similar mindset who would love us and appreciate us then great, but as you brilliantly put it (I am paraphrasing) our happiness does not depend on others. :)
My therapist told me that anger isn't a negative emotion in the right context. For example, anger over harm done to a loved one is normal and should be acknowledged. It can be expressed or handled in a negative manner, but it's a normal reaction to the harm.
Isn't anger both a positive and negative emotion?
Anger is normal, but it’s also negative. If it makes you feel bad, it’s a negative emotion. Just like sadness, it’s normal to feel sad sometimes, but it’s a negative emotion, coz it makes you feel down. Feeling happy is a normal emotion too, and it’s a positive one, because it makes you feel good. Normal emotions can be both negative and positive. Normal person, or neurotypical should be able to feel the whole range of emotions, positive and negative, and that’s what this Doctor is talking about.
Anger is a positive and negative emotion at the same time. I don't think you guys understand what that means from a definitional point of view. Negative emotions are things like anxiety, depression, and emotional pain of the like. They generally stop you from doing something. Positive emotions like exuberance, excitement, and euphoria get you to to do something. Anger is both because you feel both simultaneously. It comes with an extreme amount of destructive AND constructive potential. That's the point of it. You get triggered and you move into action. Left untamed and you can kill somebody. Used properly and you can stop abusive behavior right in its tracks. You can also abuse others while angry. It's like a bomb. Whether it's good or bad depends on how you use it. But most people have a fairly unhealthy relationship with it, myself included.
Anger still falls under the negative emotions cos it’s always trigger by a negative event and it prompts to have negative reactions
Negative in the context of emotions only means that the emotion feels bad. It is not pleasant to experience anger. Negative does not mean that the emotion is inappropriate or unnecessary.
My ADHD meds wearing off. Paid no attention to the info, but I am living for the print you're wearing!
Thanks for reminding me to take my pills.
Hahaha this was my thought process exactly but I don't have ADHD (that I'm aware...!)
Edit: oops, I had a psych appointment that very next day and turns out I DO have ADHD!
Lol nice prints!!
Yeah, I spaced out for like 2 minutes lost in thought. Then I started reading comments and obviously replying.
That was such a cute comment. Plus, I'm adhd and I don't take meds because they're too expensive, which makes my life miserable.
Doctor you are making this world a better place with these videos
Thank you Carla. That what I want to do 👍🏽😊
All humans are irrational and absurd .... the vast universe doesnt care though 👻💩😹😹
@@penderyn8794 are you describing your self?
So there was this counselor in my school . Who said I am bipolar. But now I know I am not. Being happy or sad is normal. Mood swings are normal . Sometimes doubting my identity and life which is rare is normal. I am normal . After watching your videos I have realized that everybody has some issues but there is a limit beyond which it is pathological and can be classified as a disorder.
Teachers and counselors in public schools actually do more harm to children than good because they are only there for the paycheck...
Any students that are independent thinkers, question the curriculum are treated as potential trouble makers or sent to a doctor for drugs...
As a retired RN / Mental health Nurse, I'm fairly certain there is no such thing as "normal". We all vary in how we are, every hour of every day. Our external environment can influence our behaviour. I'm not a fan of the DSM5 and the labeling it offers. We are linear beings, not static, stable entities. Give each other a break. None of us are anywhere close to perfect 😊
I been living in this horrible anxiety world of mine, all my life. I always say "I wish I was normal" but what is normal? Who knows anymore. 🤷♀️
Normal is living your life too the fullest fuck what others think. If your worry about everyone else then you live for them. If you think that way then your just robbing yourself from happiness and your a weak crowd.
There's no such thing as normal!
She just explained what normal is. It’s people who can walk around without being self conscious. People who experience emotions normally and who’s emotions don’t turn debilitating.
@@Ehlaar I'm sorry but no one is normal!!!
@@Antonjlavey unfortunately many people who think that way are not able to control it. Hence why anxiety is considered a mental illness.
I kind of loathe myself for caring so much about others but still failing to please them, while I have a strong empathy that allows me to see others' opinions in their shoes, I rarely feel being understood. I guess down to the essence of it, mankind are complex entities.
Thank you so much, Dr. Tracey for all the amazing things you've done. I literally find every video you make amazing, and I am not even exaggerating. With your help, I feel hopes.
I believe life is a emotional rollercoaster. Having the ability to have honest communication without fear of judgment to others regarding your positive and negative jubilation and sadness. Realizing what you can and cannot handle emotionally and physically. Is the bravest ability in your life. AKA living in the present moment AkA stepping out your comfort zone AKA using your ego instead of it running life for you.
I feel like mental illness could possibly happen when one is so concerned about "being normal" so much to a point where they develop an ego so far removed from their "true self" that there is a split between the two when they become so far removed from one another.
Lately I’ve been thinking the same thing. When I was a kid I embraced my eccentricities. And I was happier and less stressed.
Omg yes. Me and my life started to fall apart when I tried to change cause I overdid it.
Can you please do a video about the fear of going crazy? Thank you
Thanks for the suggestion
Excellent suggestion. I watch a lot of her videos on almost every topic she covers just to make sure I'm not veering off. 🙃😁
I was misdiagnosed many years ago by a mental health professional - I did not agree with the diagnosis - fortunately I had been seeing another mental health professional for severe clinical depression on and off for a number of years - so I asked her- am I this label - "no" - she KNEW me - for *years* - unlike this person who met me for about an hour then wrote a long letter to my doctor - who then , things snowballed and affect me to this day almost 10 years later... all because one person made a subjective judgement of me - that the person who had known me for years immediately dismissed -
After she said "no" - not an accurate diagnosis- we carred on with our session
- near the end - she said, well actually you do have SOME traits - "but ALL of us do" (& gave me an article written by *the* expert in the field -)
*ALL* of us do - like everything - healthy range & balance -
yes, I do have some aspects - honest with myself - and other things I can see how others can *perceive* my behaviour in one way (when actually - not the reason why I do what I do)
unfortunately that incorrect diagnosis (borderline personality disorder - when it should have been PTSD) - was put on my offical records
- and *directly* affected the way OTHER PEOPLE in the system treated me -
things have snowballed from there - to the point where I (and my trauma therapist - and a counselor (yes at the same time , different pieces of work - full knowledge & support if both) reassure me I'm not crazy, because so many other people treat me as such -crazy - borderline - personality disorder - esp people who are NOT mental health professional - just read those words...
such destructive words - "borderline" (unstable - unpredictable, crazy - that is how I have been TREATED
- "personality disorder" - SOMETHING is *wrong* with _me_ - (again how I have been treated - ) -
feel like a normal sane person (with ptsd, anxiety & depression) being treated as a crazy person
- I *cling* to those words, "we ALL" have some of these traits... from someone who LISTENED to me, understood me - the challenges I've been through -
"we ALL have aspects..." (of a diagnosis , as she & this article explained - that many mental health people throw that LABEL on when they dont take the time to listen & understand a person - the WHY they do what they do
(in my case, there are perfectly sound, logical, rational, reasons REASONS why I have PTSD, anxiety & depression
- I am as 'normal' as someone who has been through what I've been through can be
I don't think "we all have some traits" because not everyone is afraid of abandonment like in BPD so no we don't all have some traits, its a lie used to reassure you
@@nikemorales - fear of abandonment is just one of, I believe, 10... (no, 9) traits associated with BPD -
"The 9 symptoms of BPD
"Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. ...
Unstable relationships. ...
Unclear or shifting self-image. ...
Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. ...
Self-harm. ...
Extreme emotional swings. ...
Chronic feelings of emptiness. ...
Explosive anger."
as for comment (on a post I made TWO YEARS ago) - "a lie used to reassure you" 🤣 - hilarious - like you know ME at all, or my mental health *professional* and the relationship I had with her - seriously hilarious.
and while I CAN laugh it off, maybe consider your words, esp on a mental health topic/channel - which could be harmful to others in a more fragile & vulnerable state
would you walk up to a stranger in the street and say this to their face?
just because you're online please consider your words and the impact they may have - that there is a real person with real emotions receiving the words you choose
As a mental health therapist, I absolutely love the way she breaks down the different categories related to self and interpersonal. I think it really ties together all the group therapy topics I utilize and how it all fits into wellbeing.
Thanks a bunch! I really appreciate your feedback. ❤️
I don't think I know anyone who is normal. We are a product of what we have been through in our lives and some people are very different from the normal. We just pretend to be normal whatever that is to ourselves. Thankyou Dr. Marks.
If you were raised in an abusive family, or by people who were mentally ill, it is going to be hard to see normal people when you meet them. You may even think that THEY have problems because their reactions are so different from either your own or what you were raised to see as normal. You may also find that you are comfortable with people that are not normal, because you have a skill set for that level of nutty, and it feels familiar. I know lots of normal people. There are tons out there. They have issues, but they are mentally healthy and function well within a normal range. The healthier you are, the more messed-up people will stand out. Walk away from them, and surround yourself with health.
Thank you so so so much for speaking more about 'personality'. In my early 20s I was diagnosed with elements of BPD and I have always wondered how this sort of 'worked'. At the time, I interpreted as 'ok so I just have a wrong personality apparently' and increased my self-doubt. But seeing personality as consisting of different facets on a continuum makes much more sense and feels more holistic and nuanced. I was I had known this all those years ago. Thanks for explaining.
I'm being treated for PTSD and Anxiety through the VA and appreciate your videos thank you so much for all you do
Your level of functioning is on a continuum, so true! This video is really insightful, love it 😊
Thank you 🙏🏽
Oh gosh, that part about distorting yourself hit really hard. 😫 My husband literally had a heart-to-heart with me today about things related to this. Also, the self-direction part. I struggle with that at different points in my life.
I say, “I think I’m normal.” And everyone laughs nervously - haha.
What is normal. I’ve been asking since the 60’s ❤️
😁😻✌👅👍
Your a Godsend.Ive been struggling with depression and anxiety for years and have found your advice to be amongst the most influential and easy to understand in fixing myself.
My boyfriend is legit the sanest person i have ever met. He's so sane that he doesn't understand mental illnesses. He really believes that they don't exist. A good part of his sanity is definitely genetic (his parents, although divorced, are both very healthy people. Nothing strange about them in the slightest) but also due to the fact that he intuitively takes care of himself everyday. When he is hungover, he goes for an intense training session. He eats well. Takes care of his joints. Never smoked. Doesn't abuse screens. Etc
I feel this coming from a mentally unstable family it can be difficult and almost cause me to resent him. I am aware of this though and we work through it. I’m just grateful for his love and light 🙏🏼
Lacking empathy for people suffering from mental illness doesn’t exactly sound like someone who’s achieved peak sanity.
@@cobracommander8133 I think it’s more of a lack of understanding than a lack of empathy
@@auntyjasmine2566 it’s one thing to not understand something but to dismiss it as not real seems like there’s also a lack of empathy
@@auntyjasmine2566 I totally agree with Aunty, I used to be like this. Did not understand mental illness. I was always happy, never had a strugle in my life, But I did have very much empathy with people.. Just could not Imagine how it felt. This untill I got breastcancer and understood that life sometime can change 180° degree. And living it is much much more different than having empathy.
What a great explanation. Empathy seems to be in short supply these days. Some guys think intimacy and sex are the same thing.
Sometimes it is...
@@Antonjlavey You can combine the two, but it's not the same.
People…..some people.
The equivalent statement would be saying some women think relationships are based on what men can do for them……
This is so beautifully presented. Thank you for your videos.
Know yourself to improve yourself
-Aguste Comete
I’ve literally just been thinking about this topic, especially since my diagnosis. I don’t know if I’ve just known a lot of people who struggle with mental illness, or because of my own struggle with mental illness my perception of what’s normal is warped, but man I have a really hard time believing that people exist that aren’t mentally ill 😭 if you don’t have a mental disorder you’re a unicorn to me
Probably both. Tons of healthy folks out there. They might look really boring and "uncool" to you. Or lucky. Some have disabilities or are really old. Still mentally healthy.
OMG thank you so very much for having this video Dr. Marks. So many people and institutions try to force a socially constructed concept of 'normality' upon others but never can define it. This then leads to 'exclusion or discrimination.' Or at least in my experience, I think that when people or institutions use this term 'normal' depending on context it can mean 'conformity or assimilation.' To combat this mindset I always quote one of my favorite movies: "Being normal is vastly overrated."
Dr. Tracey I made that question and I remember you answering me ... Thank you very much for the attention and for sharing such precious information. ♥️
My God! I tend to get really excited about stuff right off the bat. Your video is awesome and I really appreciate your reserved tone. Thank you for this.
Informative and thought-provoking, as always.
Thank you for making these videos Dr. Marks. The quality is fantastic and it just keeps getting better. Please don't stop!
Bravo!!! Thank you Dr. Marks! Well done ❤👏
I appreciate these videos so much. Thanks a million Dr Marks
Love your videos Dr. Tracy. I'm in ATL too. Keep up the great work.
Dr. Marks thank you so much for making this video!!!
This channel is so amazing, thank you for making therapeutic content accesible!!!
Really helpful videos.Always thank you for understanding ourselves.
Such valuable information from such a valuable doctor. Highly appreciated 🤗 I'll be playing this video more than once and taking notes for sure
Your channel is truly one of the best (and one of my most favourite channels to watch!!!) thank you for all the content you provide- it is so articulate & well delivered THANK YOU!!!
Oh, I can’t wait for this upcoming video!
The current one is amazing as well! I will memorise it!
I love your communication style. You are so clear and succinct. Thank you for your videos!
Thank you for putting "normalcy" into perspective
Dr Tracey is the only RUclips creator I need to have a note pad with me to remember all the important points.!
I just came across your channel today and it’s been such a blessing
Tesla referenced human energy 🌬👻jesus christ referenced living waters 💎👨🎓👩🎓science described water memory 🌊🎭psalms16:24 k,j proverbs27:19 existence psychologically god bless fight the good fight 💖👻💎👨🎓👩🎓🗽🤍⚖🌪🌬
Thank you. Your videos are always so useful and easier to understand.
This is awesome. You are an amazing Dr. I wish I could find one like you. I’ve learned so much about myself and those in my world. I never realized how much everyone is in their own world when it comes to emotions. Thank you so much for your videos 💕
This is a very helpful video. I like your method of making psychology centered on the individual's own experiences, not on categories. And you are very clear on the difference between difficulties a healthy person faces and the disorders a truly troubled person faces.
best chanel on psychology so far
love your blouse
Thank you so much for this video, Dr. Tracey ! It’s very well-explained about the self and the interpersonal interactions. Beautifully done ! 😊 ❤️
Thanks so much Dave 😊
You helped me a lot with this video. I have some of the "pathological" tendencies you mentioned. At least I know now what I need to work on. It's much easier to hit a target you can see. Thanks for the clarity🙏
this video was really cool! i spent a few years in therapy treating severe anxiety in college and most of what we worked on were self and identity focused issues. I had very over bearing, passive aggressive parents with high expectations growing up and i had to spend a lot of time working on learning to build my own identity and values, learning its ok to have personal boundaries and being more decisive. so cool how the main themes of years in therapy could be summed up so succinctly! thank you dr. marks :)
Thank you Dr. Marks for your scientifically-informed videos on various mental health topics that are insightful yet unbiased. In this day and age, they're not only refreshing but very appreciated!
I love watching your videos :) it gives me hope that one day I’ll have a psychiatrist that actually listens and cares. I was referred to a 1.4 star psychiatrist and the reviews definitely spoke volumes after my appointment. I hope to one day find someone like you near me.
Love you Dr Marks. The videos you have made that are relevant to my issues have helped a lot, and the content that doesn't directly relate to me still helps give a bigger understanding of how we function as human beings. You're helping so many people across THE WORLD to bring order to the chaos swirling around their heads. Your family, friends and peers should be incredibly proud. All the best from the UK
Doctor you are simply incredible! I’m binge watching your channel and everything you have to say is absolutely the truth! Thank you for this resource!👏👏👏🤩🤩🤩
I eventually want to work on getting back into therapy & I appreciate videos like this bc it's a really helpful starting point to my overall healing
Thank you very much, Dr. Marks. Your explanations are so articulate and helpful. I share your videos all the time.
You are very welcome
Great explanation!
I really like how you explained this. I’ve encountered some people in my life that I really can’t explain, it’s hard to say that the way they act is some sort of disorder. However, the way you explain it, it’s a lot more clearer to me how to explain their actions. I look forward to more videos you have planned on this topic!
I'm glad in this video your finall talking more about the person rather than a specific disorder good stuff 👍
Thanks for spreading lights of psychological knowledge
Amazing as always!!!
Dr.Tracey, I love your chanel. I'm really glad that I found it somehow. Thanks for sharing your knowledge. 🙏
Tesla referenced human energy 🌬👻jesus christ referenced living waters 💎👨🎓👩🎓science described water 🌊🎭psalms16:24 k,j proverbs27:19 existence psychologically god bless fight the good fight 💖👻💎👨🎓👩🎓🗽🤍⚖🌪🌬
Love this frame: a continuum of traits, that changes over time depending on circumstances. No one is frozen in tine, we all learn and grow 😄
What a big and warm embrace, thx
Great video! Thanks.
This video actually made me realize how much better I'm doing than say 4 years ago. I still have a lot of MH issues but on each of these factors it used to be much worse and I had a lot less self awareness or hope about them.
Oh my god, that sweater set is off the hook--so groovy!
Nice video Doc
always such great stuff with you Doc.. Could listen to you all week.. And Ya, I have issues..
Dr. Marks is by far the best therapist, teacher, learner and kind hearted person I've ever listened to. I trust her. Dr. Marks is so compassionate in her speech and demeanor. Thank you Dr. I feel hopeful keep trying.
Now I’m bingeing, another great video. Had to rewind a bunch again.
I must say, empathy also includes nonhuman animals.
Great video.
Thank you so much for the knowledge. ⚘🙏🏽
I like your new surrounding, looks very cosy.
Wonderful video!
Really enjoy your communication style.
It helped me when a colleague (lic, phycologist) told me , you are normal but not average
I love these videos they help me understand so much
Very very interesting vídeo and topic. Thank you Dr. Marks.
You’re welcome Victor 😊
I've watched the ton of your videos thank you so much
I really love the insight you give great job
3:20 anger is a positive emotion. It's how you handle it, that can be negative.
Information well presented and easy to follow.. The fluidity helps to grasp psychoanalytic terms without pausing for side aid from a reference source. I have watched numerous other Psychotherapy channels before finding Dr Marks’ and her suggested solutions are plausible and collaborated in parts by the other credentialed academics and practicing clinicians.
Her videos are super helpful!
Dr Tracey, thanks for another great video! Something I didn't fully understand and maybe something to elaborate on in further videos:
- You said unmanaged anger gets suppressed and manifests as passive aggression, anxiety, or other things. I have previously read somewhere that passive aggression or sulking are also forms of anger and are as damaging and as aggressive to a person on the receiving end. What is managed anger? How do you 'manage' anger without actually being angry and without suppressing it? If being passive-aggressive is as bad as being aggressive, how do you behave when you feel angry?
- You said having identity boundaries means having a clear distinction between yourself and others. What if your spiritual practice teaches you of oneness or a collective self or anything that erases that boundary between yourself and others and takes a more 'we are part of a whole' approach, how do you reconcile that?
- Any advice on setting healthy boundaries (what are they? how to set them with others?) would be very helpful.
Hi Pavel. Great questions. Hers a video I did I. Boundaries ruclips.net/video/tEzpiM3pV5k/видео.html
But I may do another on to speak more generally
This is a video I did takin about managing or diffusing anger ruclips.net/video/H4WYp9a6Yzg/видео.html
In short though anger is a normal emotion that we have to accept and live with. How you behave when you’re angry is more important than the fact that you got angry.
I think you can identify with a body of people who believe similarly. But there will still be individual differences within the body. You may think similarly, but you still have your own thoughts. That’s just my opinion on that issue
Happy to find you ❤
No one helped Me like you did..
Waiting eagerly for the video on boundaries with parents and boundary disillusionment. Thanks.
Thanks for waiting Susanne. It's coming next week!
This was excellent!
Thank you Stephanie!
this was good thanks for posting this
Just what I needed! You’re the cream of the crop, Dr. Tracy. Also i have a question: What are your thoughts on the “Big Five” personality traits-introversion/extroversion, agreeableness, neuroticism, etc. Any merit? Of course there’s probably a spectrum...
I appreciate your lack of ads
This seems like a good tool for doing a self evaluation occasionally.
I’ll try to avoid using it to judge other people.
you made me laugh, hehe! I love you, dear Tracey ☀️ have a great week!
A laugh is always a good thing 😀👍🏽
Great video and I love your outfit!
Dr. Marks, your discussions on behavior are very informative. I use them when I'm in session with my therapist. You're a hot lady too! 😃
I had a psychologist answer to me “ how functional can we be when we live in a world of disfunction
I really like your Videos!