The detachment inside from someone you lovw can definitely last for months not weeks …I had it once for 6 months woke up and was like wtf am I doing. For me it means the meds aren’t right, when things are good I don’t go through it
I’ve been gaslighted by a man who’s definitely bipolar. He talks to a therapist everyday, has sticky notes all over his mirror with reassurance self notes, takes 5 Diff meds. Goes ghost on me then comes around like nothing happened. The last Time I saw him he told Me he was going to go to jail for 3 months because of an issue he had with an ex who out a restraining order on him and when I looked him up he had lied to me and when I texted Him he blocked me. Clearly He’s NOT locked up, just saw him at a gender reveal party this weekend with a group of people and a girl he seems to be with. This has been going on since December I’m definitely done with trying to deal with him. Changed my number and blocked him all over the internet.
Thank you for posting all of these videos. My GF of 7 months has Bipolar disorder and I'm learning all that I can about it. She doesn't blame me for any of the swings in emotion and I understand that what she says during some episodes aren't what she really means. Of course it still terrifies me when her depressive episodes happen or detachment comes up, but I am patient and will never let her push me away in those tough times. She is everything to me and I let her know that every chance that I get. I know that I'll never be able to fully understand how it feels to have these changes in feelings that she gets, but what I do understand is that this disorder doesn't define her or make her any less of a fantastic person. She is incredible and even though she may doubt that at times, I will always support her and do my best to give her the care that she deserves.
Consider how much of your life you are willing to donate to them. You are only on this planet once and taking care of the emotions of 2 adults takes a lot of the most precious we have on this planet, time. It may seem "nice" at times however you are in a trauma bond. Wake yourself up from the fog.
@@kayjay6353 don’t worry lol. I woke up from the fog a good while ago. Had a relationship with someone who didn’t have bipolar disorder and it made me realize just how horrible my relationship from this old comment was. I’d never do that again 🫣
My girlfriend works as a manager she is 26 I am 36 I have bipolar and I told her that usually I thought that women will reject guys with bipolar but she said she still love me and this video gives me hope God bless you
I understand all of this information. However, it's extremely hard on the person on the opposite end. The up/down, the verbal attacks, physical attacks & then coming back like nothing happened is too much. My spirit & peace has been disturbed enough.
This happened to me recently. My best friend blocked me after getting mad at me. We went from talking all day daily to him cutting me off. I wish I could send him this video. I wish he could recognize his condition and symptomns and get treatment so he won't spend his life ruining relationships. All I can do is pray for him.
@Dante It's been nine months so I doubt it. Apart of me believes he knows he made a mistake, but instead of coming around, he'd rather leave it alone to not cause more hurt.
This is the best video I’ve seen of bipolar, you explained exactly what I go through with him, no therapist no reading online has explored bipolar like this , thank you 🙏🏾
Can I ask, how long does detatchment phase last for? Because it's been 3 weeks since we broke up, I message her at times saying like merry Christmas and gives me small short respsonses,.I don't want to give up on her but I need to know if the breakup is mutual or her symptom
So happy I found this video, I was literally 2 secs from breaking up with my boyfriend, as I wana do every other week. I’m gona write a letter to myself as to why we’re together, I’m also gona write a list of songs that opens my heart to how I feel about him , maybe listening to them through those times of detachment will help.
Thank you for mentioning this. When you are a caregiver for a bipolar spouse to feel your spouse distance themselves from you is so hurtful. I give my all to support my BP husband so it's deeply painful when this happens. It's like he has forgotten all I've been there through with him. Add to this that he's still available to get his needs met and get my help and support yet can't just hug me without pulling teeth. It doesn't matter that it's the disease. My mind knows this. But the damage to my self esteem when this happens is real.
I’m going through this right now with my BP wife of 12 years it is truly heartbreaking for me and my kids. The sad thing about it, is this is the 5th time we’ve been through this and it never gets any better. It’s mentally exhausting for a normal person and after sometime you start to wonder am I normal. I’m at the point in my life where I don’t really know how much longer I can deal with it and not go crazy. It’s that bad.
I think my bf has this. He distance himself and comes back like nothing happends. Anger outburst if I confront him with things in general, super sensitive, selfish always his needs met. I need to force him to hug me or hold me when he is in a deep mood. Is this depression? He don't do anything at home, no cooking, cleaning, no laundry he gets mad if I ask small things he needs to do. He work a lot and play video games. It's like beeing with a 10 years old sometimes. He also don't want to talk about his feelings. I don't know what to do and he won't see that this is not normal. Can it be bipolar?he also never take initiative to things in general and his sex drive is low when he is depressed ore has this swings. His mom has this and it's the worst to deal with here sometimes. It's a roller coaster. Mentally exhausted. It mocked my self esteem down so much
Thank you for posting this follow up video to why 90% bipolar marriages/relationships fail. I go through this with my wife every 6-7 months. I’m trying to stay strong, but I don’t know if she’ll back from this one. I can’t tell you how helpful your videos have been these past 5 years. Thank you again
@@MichaelRBurke She did, and her mania came back and it got worse for the a few years. We separated. But we’re trying to work things out now. Her current meds seem to be helping her stay stable.
@Ratiocinativefun please tell me more because I'm stuck, my ex is bipolar type 2, it's been a long distance relationship, 10 months in, she said I was her first love and longest relationship she had, she said I am an angel husband and only man that treated her well and perfect for her, then, suddenly on December she breaks up with me saying she doesn't "feel" in love with me anymore, she was a different person, she was cold, cruel, it's like she didn't care or even cried, What I wanna know is has this happened to you and how long did it take for her to come back to you? Also, was it on her manic state or depression? It's been 2 months since we broke up and I don't wanna give up on her
@@phurion. always be ready to let go. I’ve let her go so many times. I’ve never chased her. I know you’re searching as I was before. Being in your shoes. Mine developed BPD on top of her Bipolar, and that added more challenges.
@@Ratiocinativefun I know I should let go but, idk this is the first time, its why I wanna know how long does this manic or detachment phase usually last for, it's been 2 months or so
Honestly, thank you so much for talking about this. I feel so crazy in my relationship right now. This just really gives clarity. You're right, there are so many minute things you experience when you have BP that no one talks about. But we need awareness because it will only help others get diagnosed themselves.
Everything she explains is 100%, I’m getting out of a 3 1/2 year relationship with a woman I fell in love with who is diagnosed bipolar two it’s extremely taxing and stressful. Especially if your partner is not taking necessary steps to work on themselves, either therapy or medication if necessary. I commend anyone who wants to take on this challenge. But in my prior experience, something I’m actually currently going through. I would prefer to not even get involved in that type of situation again. so much, frustration and confusion. Again it was extremely mentally and emotionally taxing and the ripple affects throughout other areas of life. We’re not worth it no matter how much you love that person. In hindsight, I would much rather for someone who is mentally stable enough to be consistent so we can build together without the unnecessary obstacles that relationships already have, it only adds to the difficulty. Good luck to everyone.
My fiancé breaks me every other week. Blocked from everything. She is type2 I’m fresh learning about this and until today I haven’t found what you just told me. I have hope thank you. I love her to the moon and back. Im not gonna lie, this is the hardest thing to deal with but she to me makes it worth it ❤
This video is super helpful. I wish I found it sooner. My wife has bipolar disorder and this has caused me soooo much confusion, and led to anything that is maybe unhealthy. I think knowing this alone will help me be better in the relationship. I would like to share it with my wife as well, see what she thinks (she has to make the decision if that's it, I certainly don't want to gaslight) This thing has been so hurtful because I'm so in love with my wife, more than anyone ever, and usually she says she feels the same. When this has happened, it's led to me being so hurt and confused, it's been hard to trust, it's made me feel used and abandoned... something I know my wife wouldn't do. Yes, the communication of knowing where she is at certainly helps me discern what's going on. I've been questioning my own sanity because of it.
I wish that I came across this video last year, I have experienced this same issue in December 2020 with my wife....this is crazy. Awesome video ,Lizzy
This happened to me . We were absolutely wonderful together and going along and then bam he broke it off. Even two months later he told me he feels nothing and denies our connection. He’s unmedicated and not in treatment… it’s so sad. I pray he snaps out of it as you said. I’m devastated. I did see him one day at the store and he doesn’t even look like himself so I’m worried he’s in a episode and started self medicating again. Please tell me there’ hope his feelings will come back
Thank you so much 😢 I’m a wife of a bipolar man ! Untreated all you said is true ! When the night comes he becomes argumentative person 😢 putting blame on me that im too emotional person but heck no!! When he is in a mania he suddently isolate himself
I viewed numerous videos, 90 % of BP Relationships fail. I told my BP Queen, we gonna be the 10% who make it. Break up? every other day. She is Beautiful Inside and Out! 5 months & I'm wore out emotionally. I Love this Women to death! I'm so Lucky to have her but!!
This is like the 3rd time I've felt this way and I was trying to find a video to explain how I feel and see if others felt this as well. I knew something was off and that I still love him. I knew it had to be something that was making me feel this way because at any other time while not in this mindset I love my bf so much. Thank you, you just saved my sanity.
Your video helped me understand so much. My ex who has bipolar broke up with me for the 3rd time. It happens once every year had it gets frustrating but I care bout him so im patient
Weeks? It takes about 6 months. He is untreated and in his 50’s. I have been going through this for 6 plus years. It’s been nothing be pure hell. I am finally picking myself up and moving forward. It took awhile to figure it out but it all makes sense now. He will be back in the spring it’s his cycle but this time I will not be there for him. I wish him only the best. My heart goes out to other people dealing with this because it’s nothing but pure hell. The on again and off again as well as their reckless impulsive behavior is damaging to someone’s psyche.
Thank you so much for this. I'm going through the second detachment phase with my girlfriend. She ceased all contact a couple weeks ago out of no where and while I have educated myself since we started dating, I didn't know this detachment feeling existed. She hates me so much right now and all I'm trying to do is prevent our relationship from ending over nothing. It's a very serious relationship and we wanted to be engaged this year. I have the ring and everything. So thank you so much for this..
Bro, trust me tho. I've been there before, actually my wife moved out and gaslighted me now, it drives me nuts because I'm currently too busy to handle that. You have to be aware of that. Especially she said I'm the one should go see the therapist. She claims she's the normal one.
@brandon - same brother. 14 days now, since her manic episode (unmedicated prior and now on latuda only). Prior to this she also had 3 x depressions this year and made a list of why we shouldn't be together. Gaslighted, dating apps, moved out, blaming, public hummiliation, you name it. But yet i wont give up because i know its not her. Hoping the meds will kick in...and we can get her on permanent stable meds. Praying for you all.
Thank you so much for all your advice! Because lately i've noticed that it could be that my Girlfriend is bipolar and i'm gonna do everything to support her and give her a all the love. i know how difficult these episodes can be what wants me to support her even more. I'm trying to learn a lot about it so i can help even more and i can understand how shefeels. I'm gonna be as patient as possible and i'm gonna give everything. supporting her and making her feel loved is my #1 priority, life can be tough sometimes but we can all pull through! people in the comments, never give up, we'll all get there!!
Wow!!! You have just described what I have been going through for the past year. I don’t know what the reality of it is but you’ve described it to a T almost I have been devastated. One month he’s looking forward to our next year and he loves me and he makes his Grandioso announcements on Facebook and to my dad and then suddenly overnight things change and he’s completely dismissive and attached. It’s the most confusing thing I have ever been through and so emotionally draining.😭💔 is there nothing that helps them through that?
I'm SO sorry you've been going through this, it must be absolutely brutal. Medication definitely helps a lot! Most bipolar people are on at least 2 medications for the rest of their life. The other thing that helps is understanding bipolar and for him to make the distinction between what is the bipolar vs reality. It's a process of invalidating his own emotions continually and accepting he often cannot identify reality. This is SO important. I've accepted that what I feel and think is often a complete lie and so I don't trust myself. I have to trust other people in my life over me. I also solved the problem by telling myself I'm not allowed to break up with my boyfriend (he's now my husband) and to fake it when I don't feel those emotions. This will make relationships SO much easier overall, because in longterm relationships even non bipolar people lose the feelings and it comes down to actions and choosing the other person regardless of how you feel.
Thanks for this explanation. I know this feeling is weird for me having BP1 and it’s super frustrating for my guy and I don’t want him to feel at fault but I have a hard time explaining the discomfort and need for distance that seriously has nothing to do with anything other than I literally need my own space and suddenly(weird and random without warning). Good video thnx
When I was diagnosed, felt scared, nervous didn't know what to do but thanks to my GP who'd printed out lots of information for me to read it helped me alot along with antipsychotic meds & mood stabilisers I'm also bipolar 1 my nephew & sister supports me but I've got some other family who believe I'm psychotic & a risk to myself & others around me
I am in love with someone with BP1, and she is currently going through this phase since yesterday. All of my pictures and our videos on her Facebook account got taken down, we are engaged but her relationship status changed to being single, and she is chatting with guys asking how they are and telling them that she won't proceed with our marriage anymore, and it just breaks my heart and makes my chest so heavy. It may take several days before she comes back to normal, but I am really not at ease and I can't sleep at night. It also affected my eating habit and I can't focus on my job. I am really going through a deep and dark tunnel here and although I can easily go and see her, I know that she doesn't want to see me yet. Oh god, when will my suffering end??? :( I love her and I am willing to go through these phases with her but she keeps on telling me to let her go because she doesn't want me to suffer because of her, but I keep telling her I won't give up on our relationship. Sending hugs and prayers to everyone going through the same thing
I am also going through this. 14 days now. She is BP1 and in a manic episode (unmedicated prior). Prior to it she was also depressed 3x this year and she made a list of bad things about us. Hoping the new meds will kick in soon. Praying for you all!
I'm going through this as well.. he tells me he's in love with me then the next day says I'm not what he wants and blocks me. It' so hard and confusing. Am I supposed to leave him alone ? He blocks me but calls from a restricted number and doesn't say anything. This is confusing and hurts, how do I know what his true feelings are.? I don't know how to handle feeling rejected on repeat anymore. I love him .. but this is affecting my whole life with the emotional turmoil.
My girlfriend had been putting up with me being constantly worried about her not answering my texts in a matter of minutes, and my random tendencies to start feeling emotions of anger towards her for no good reason. I have not been officially diagnosed, but I do suffer the exact same symptoms that people have described as bipolar disorder. My girlfriend, after 2 months of dealing with me decided to break it off and explained to me exactly what i was worried about, getting anxious when she wouldn't reply, becoming annoyed over insignificant things, ect. I wrote her a text telling her that I promised to be better, and now all I can hope for is a second chance with the girl that I love. I did believe that my unexpected anger and stuff was linked to the disorder but I appreciate you confirming it ms creator. I hope everyone has an amazing day.
I have Bipolar Type two with ADHD , Depression and anxiety . my man have Bipolar and Autism . He is 12 years older than me , he is 41 half years old and I am 29 half years old . Me and him have a lot in common and little not in common. Thanks for the video !
I came across this video. Thank you!!! You just describe MY relationship with my ex husband. It’s exactly what he does with me. Is very hurtful and stressful emotionally draining. It’s like he is so disgusting about me even when I talk… this is so true. 😢😢😢😢
I've been with my partner for 11 years now. I'm honestly surprised that she's patient enough to deal with me and my (at the time) undiagnosed bipolar. I've experienced detachment and didn't realize it many many times before, but I didn't want to break up because I somehow knew that I couldn't be trusted. I also experience paranoia, but again she's extremely patient. I love her so much and I hate that my brain is trying to ruin what I have.
Thank you for all your videos! ❤️ They have truly helped me to understand what bipolar is and what it means for the person I love to live with it everyday. Again, thank you so much😊
I have borderline personality disorder and my girlfriend is bipolar and she's now detached from me. If she knew what it's putting me through she wouldn't have done it. I am going through emotional hell not knowing if or when she'll contact me. I love her and will forever.
Thank you.. i have closure on why she left. It just doesn't make sense. Everything was fine and that light switch came on. She finally told me she's bipolar and it runs in her family. She doesn't believe in medication so I knew she wasn't coming back.
@@Desekratedd you have to understand what i learned. They're unable to have a stable mind and empathize. She doesn't care about you because if she really did you wouldn't be here. 9 months later I'm glad i moved on. My gf now is prettier and very stable. But i aint gonna lie tho. Just something about her leaving me and not giving a fux really bothers me to this day. Enough to respond to this commeny
Detachment happened to me somewhere in my 18 years of marriage. My wife knew i was bi-polar. I didn't recognise the detachment. Some how she did and filed a divorce, two weeks after leaving. It floored me, shocked isn't the word, more like gut punched. My Psychiatrist put me on Prozac, 22 wks later, i'm feeling better, the memory of the deal is still fresh. What a bummer, i got to move on.
I lost a friend who suffers from untreated bipolar. I too am bipolar but treated. He doesn’t see what he does to people in his life. 20+ yr friendship gone with this exact light switch. I care about him but if he refuses to acknowledge he needs outside help and it’s him alone to make the choice…
I am not bipolar but definitely go through phases like that . I love my fiance very much, but struggle with the feelings very often. Any how love is a choice, and i so choose to love him for how amazing he is. Thanks lizzie! That video was really relieving♥️
I think this is what I’m going through with my husband, but I’m not sure. He asked for a divorce and now, we haven’t spoken in a month because he doesn’t want to talk to me. Still trying to learn about Bipolar to help support him if it is detachment and he comes back. It’s hard to deal with, but I love him and want to help the best I can. Thank you for this video.
Going through this right now with my girlfriend. Supposed to be engaged soon and now she has cut all contact from me and is paranoid I'm going to hurt her. 😞
Going through the same thing with my spouse. They left, won't talk to me and want a divorce. They don't think anything is wrong with them mental, so it's impossible to suggest treatment or medication.
@@blue_skyy345 Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry that you are going through this, and I completely understand how you may feel. Hoping for a positive outcome for you whether or not you stay in your relationship.
I just came across this video and thanks Lizzie it's very good info and insight, I'm my opinion. I've experienced this also. Question: is this considered a delusion?
Some good advice here… and some dangerous advice here. First, I would recommend NOT EVER approaching someone you love and telling them you think they’re bipolar. For several reasons, this could have negative consequences. Especially if you are married, DO NOT tell your spouse you think they are bipolar. It can have ugly consequences in court. It may come from a place of love, but that won’t be how it is portrayed by opposing counsel in a court setting. Second, even if someone you love is diagnosed with bipolar disorder, there is always the chance that is an incomplete diagnosis. It could even be an incorrect diagnosis. Often times, what looks like biolpolar is actually a personality disorder. Or, in some cases, a person could suffer from both bipolar disorder and a personality disorder. That is a very difficult thing to overcome (not impossible). I applaud this channel for helping to de-stigmatize mental illness! Our culture needs more of this. If you’re involved (dating or marriage) with someone who suffers from some sort of mental illness, the best thing you can do is to get support for yourself! Seek therapy from a therapist who understands the types of mental illnesses you think your loved one may be suffering from. Stay strong and God bless! 🙏
Thank you so much for this video! As someone who was dating someone with bipolar and researching for days on end trying to understand what happened, this video is exactly what I was looking for! I’m praying that his light switch turns his feelings back on and comes back and we can actually discuss this very video. I’ve loved him for far too long and for some reason, I refuse to give up on him.
@@Nmouttasim I gave up. He never came back. He ghosted me and disappeared into oblivion till this day even though I tried many times to reach out to him the first month. It is what it is and I've moved on. I don't blame his behavior on bipolar because this kind of behavior is way beyond that.
My ex bipolar girlfriend broke up without closure and on the same day said she loved me but decided to place a restraining order against me. I went along with it and know 3 months later she calls me to wish me a happy birthday. To me the message is the same unless she is determined to work on herself what would ever change. I think its best for me even though I love her to not want her back because I hate the illness and what it does. I don't think she will ever get real medical help like medication because she doesn't take anything that im aware of plus she hated taking it when she was taken medication. The only thing she would take is 420. It's hard to walk away because you want to believe it can work but the chances are slime when the other person isn't trying to take responsibility for there bad decisions
Holy shit! This just happened with a girl I've been talking to and seeing for a short time. I thought things were going way, waaayyy too fast, but I went along with it because the connection felt so amazing and addictive- and then after a really great date and talking on the phone for the rest of that night, she broke it off the next day. Completely cold, no sign of remorse or any of the emotions and feelings she showed me just hours before. Said she isn't ready for a relationship, has to focus on herself, and that I'd end up getting hurt if we continued. The kicker? She did tell me she was on lamictal for self-harm episodes- didn't mention bipolar, just her symptoms. I did not know anything about bipolar back then, so I just figured she has a self-harm problem, is in treatment for it, and that I could maybe monitor and see how it goes, since the connection we had was already so precious to me. Man, I was clueless, huh?
All of this really hits home. I found the woman of my dreams in the type of relationships I'd been searching for. She was crazy about me till one day she wasn't. She went back and forth between loving and cold for about a month before we broke up. I knew she exhibited these symptoms but couldn't tell her till the day of the break up. I reached out to her the next day and she blocked me in every way. It's been almost 3 weeks and not a word from her. I love her buy I don't know what to do at this point.
Wow this really helps me. I have a bipolar girlfriend who’s the love of my life. I had no idea what was going on she just resented me saying she was sensitive to everything she didn’t want to talk to anybody including me. She wanted to cry all the time. I was getting impatient because I had no contact with her because she didn’t want to talk to me. She got pissed off at me and called me and hated me and only could focus on the negative of me which could be easily worked on. Calling me toxic and I need to work on myself like she was so annoyed of me. I talked to her foster mom and she says she does this to every guy. I can’t wait for her to come back 😢
I was 12 years with BP boyfriend and suddenly one week ago he broke a with me because apparently before I was lovely and now I’m toxic to him. He is so sure that I’ve been terrible to him that I start to doubt myself. I can’t wait for him to open his eyes again and be able to talk to him.
The BIG problems arise when they become manic and detached at the same time. Them wanting nothing to do with you and at the same time being hyper sexual…can lead to DEVASTATING circumstances.
Going through this right now, he’s been chatting with other women while in my presence. He uses Google voice to talk to ther woman. I’ve found tons of condoms everywhere in his place, his car, his pockets. This relationship has been driving me crazy, I feel like I’m his second choice, it wasn’t like this in the beginning. He Broke up with me last Sunday, he started with all these excuses about not having money anymore to take me out, he now realizes he dosent want anymore kids, and all of a sudden his plans for us changed. The word thing is that he still kept me on Fb, and told me that he wants to remain friends. I didn’t respond to friends I don’t do friends well with exes. He said he dosent want to cut total communication with me, im so confused. This is the second time he does this, then is depressed and calls me that he wants me back. Although I feel this time he may leave for good, I just can’t trust him.
Im very worried about being single forever, as soon as someone finds out i have bp1, they bail. I am treated with meds, and i only have a few episodes per year, but man i am scared and ashamed of it. Self hate with this shit is real.
You shouldn’t hate yourself. Learn how to love it even if it’s hard! There are lots of loving people on that planet. You will find your person. Sending love❤
I just realised how much this sounds like borderline personality disorder with the whole relationship thing. I always say the two disorders are super different if you actually know about them, but this is one thing that sounds very similar and I rarely have heard with bipolar, very interesting. Bpd is all about emotional reactions and instability in relationships and situations, attatchment, detatchment and some also have cptsd trauma. Bipolar is polarising mood episodes,euphoria, dilusions, gradiosity, depression. It's refreshing to hear deeper experiences than what we already know, although I'm still wondering if what you're describing is bpd as it's text book and also what patients describe.
I am watching videos trying to understand what my partner is going through... And honestly. I love him so much. He is worth every effort. I really hope we can grow a beautiful relationship together. 🥹🫶🏼
This just made me wanna unalive myself even more lol. My partner had mentally destroyed me bc of them refusing to get help. I know more about her disorder than she does because she feels as though addressing it will make it real and she doesn’t want to feel like anything is “wrong with her“. I’ve reached a point where I just need to leave. Before I leave this earth lol
I dealt with someone with bipolar disorder and I actually could tell immediately because I can read people well. I could tell just by looking at one of their pictures and how they smiled. It was confirmed when they made a post saying they were struggling with bipolar disorder. I was surprised I was right. But my question does a symptom of bipolar disorder involve being delusional and illogical about certain things? Like for example being clearly wrong about something or doing something really bad but making it seem like they didn’t do like anything wrong and taking it to the extreme?
My ex was like this 💔 he would do really mean things to me and then turn around and make it seem like he didn’t do anything wrong or lie about doing it at all
My husband becomes illogical and delusional. Although I have been with him for 15 years and have helped him and supported him he’ll say the complete opposite. When he gets triggered by someone at a business, I’m there to clean up and figure out what happened to try to help him get past the mania that then comes with the trigger 😢
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Concerning myself, I made the choice to avoid being with a girl friend. I think that living with a bipolar is close to impossible and bring to much suffering to the other. Better that she find ant other one ""normal"" (I just this word)
Thank you for this, I’ve been in love with someone who is bipolar for about 6 months. We’ll be together and it’s like nothing else in the world matters then all of a sudden they disappear for weeks at a time, bail on plans last minute, say they feel nothing for me. They told me they loved me in the beginning now they won’t anymore. It’s been so hard and it’s left me a emotional wreck but I just don’t want to give up on them. ;(
Stop trying to save them. Law number 10. And more importantly. Do you want to go through this rollercoaster? If not. It’s your responsibility to get off of it.
What I don’t understand is, love and feeling loving are two different things . I don’t have to feel all lovey dovey to say I love you or give a hug no matter what is going on. I don’t stop telling my kids or friends I love them or giving them a hug because I’m not “feeling it” that day, month or year ? That’s when they med to hear it the most. I don’t understand the selfishness I mean even the way the feeling is described here as COMPLETE DISGUST is all about the person with bp. WHAT DO YOU THINK ITS LIKE WHEN THE PERSON YOU LOVE THiNKS YOURE DISGUSTING??? Feelings are not reality !!!!
My girlfriend of 2+ years was just diagnosed with bipolar, she’s in the psych ward from a manic episode, wants to break up with me. I am hoping that once she is medicated and coming down she won’t but we will see. I love her so much but I don’t think I could handle it
Thank you for this video! My ex boyfriend is possibly bi polar. He said he was misdiagnosed with it because the meds made him more manic or something. But after what I just had to deal with this past week, I feel like he is just in denial. All day Saturday (he went out drinking with friends and got no sleep) he had different episodes of crying about an ancient ancestors past, having a seizure or something for about 5 minutes and proceeded to say he was perfectly fine, then getting dangerously sleepy while driving and then switching to wide awake after a few sips of tea and started to laugh hysterically at a podcast like it was the funniest thing in the world. At this point I’m a bit traumatized and I have no idea what to do. When we finally get to the destination, I tell him that I’m worried and that I think something is wrong and that we should get help (after watching this I probably made it worst) He preceded to get extremely angry and said very hurtful things to me telling me to go pack things and leave. While packing, I was crying and he was telling me how I’m so immature. He was so determined for us to talk to me grandma which we did and he preceded to say that our relationship is rocky because of my relationship with my mom, and pretty much putting all the blame on me. At this point I was in survival mode so I just agreed to whatever he said. He calmed down after the conversation and after we went to sleep, he must’ve woke up extremely early and woke me up at 330 am. He was pacing back and forth, hyping himself in the mirror and frantically putting things in different places. All while nitpicking me. And he’ll jump loving to irritated at me for the next few hours. At this moment I was scared. I love him dearly but I felt like I was in danger. So I found a way to separate from him. Luckily I had a friend living in South Beach and another friend who just arrived that day. Once I separated he became even more manic. He was harassing my friend randomly, holding the few things I left there for ransom (figuratively speaking) and was blowing up my grandmas phone with voice memos saying I was sick and need to go rehab with a hole bunch of other exaggerated personal things that confided in him with. Eventually I was finally to able to fly home. Now I don’t know what to do. I love the man because outside of this crazy situation he is the sweetest and most thoughtful guy I have ever known. We had so many good times and travels a bit together. He mentioned being hospitalized for alcohol because drinking makes him not act like himself so he was always cautious when it came to drinking. But he never mentioned having a mental illness till someone else told me and I confronted him about it. But he seemed very convincing that the bipolar diagnoses was incorrect and had a good explanation about what he went through when he was younger. Now I think we are in the detachment phase. He has a whole list of things why our relationship wont work and that i have to go to therapy if this relationship is too work. Sorry for the long post but I’ve been searching all over RUclips to find potential answers for what I just experienced and how to deal with it. Also since he is in denial, is there really anything I can do.... I might have to just walk away... but I also don’t want to because if he is truly sick ... this whole situation is so sad.
Would love to know how things turned out for you. So much of your story sounds like mine. The worst is confiding in someone you love and trust only to have them use it against you and spread it to others. Sorry you're going through this. I've been doing research like crazy too, trying to find answers.
@@RadgarPL Thanks for asking. I'm trying to manage one day at a time. Still doesn't feel like my life. Every once in a while I'm waiting to wake up from all this.
@@RadgarPL We don't talk at all. He was really disrespectful and made it a point to say hurtful things in every conversation. I had to limit contact. After I was of no use to him, he stopped contacting me. I don't hear from him at all anymore. It's for the best because he was verbal abusive.
Someone I absolutely adore did this to me recently and I did wonder if it was detachment as I had heard about it before, but he says he wants to stay friends and we do talk often so maybe he just doesn't want me. He did say he still fancied me last week though. 😢
My relationship when up in smoke after 3 years and I was the one with bipolar in the relationship lol. I learned a lot about dealing with my mental health since I been single
Thank you so much for this video. I need so much help. My partner recently had a major manic episode in another city which landed him in the hospital. He mistreated me terribly the night before over the phone, speaking in sing song riddles about god and important spiritual messages (delusions and grandiosity), implying he had fallen in love with another woman, and saying he was staying there (his old university city) and wouldn't be coming back. Just before his trip, I had found out that I was pregnant. He had been the model boyfriend beforehand, extremely loving and devoted, and he didn't tell me anything about bipolar or even suspected bipolar. He mixed marijuana, alcohol, and hallucinogens while on this two week trip and on the day he was meant to come home, he sounded completely incoherent. Because of how terribly he treated me on the phone----I was crazy for hours trying to get a straight answer from him and trying to figure out what was really going on---I ended the relationship that night. The next day, I heard from his mother that he was found on the street and taken to a hospital. It's been a week and a half and he's still there. He was well enough to speak to me three days ago, and while he was more lucid, he's still not taking accountability or acknowledging that he's sick. He thinks he's on an important spiritual journey and wants to stay on in the city. I had already confirmed with the other woman that his visions had been delusional, and there was no affair, but perhaps he's still interested in her. He's been sending mixed messages from the hospital as to whether or not he's coming home, as well as a lot of mixed messages about his intentions/feelings towards me: telling me he loves me on the phone but also doesn't know what he wants to do, telling his mother he loves me, inviting me to a mutual friend's event in two weeks (at home) but then also changing his relationship status back to single. I did technically break up with him but he knows exactly why and exactly what I expect for reconciliation, but this isn't it. I KNOW he's not in his right mind right now---the doctors at the hospital don't believe he's yet stable enough to leave---but I'm losing my mind trying to deal with his weird mixed messages. I've heard that bipolar I (which I think he also has, this event must have been caused by significant mania) can shut down empathy and that is what is going on, but it's deeply painful and traumatic, especially because of what happened to me while he was in the city and in the hospital. I had to terminate the pregnancy. I've been in hell. I'm afraid to go no contact, that it will look like abandoning a sick person, but he's toying with me while he's still manic and I don't know what to do.
And yes it went from complete devotion, wanting marriage and children with me (confirmed also by his mother who I've been communicating with while he's in the hospital), thrilled that I was pregnant (even though our relationship is very new) to seemingly not caring much if I'm with him or not. He can't connect with my pain or my justifiable anger, and I get the sense I'm an inconvenience, a burden, and associated with a home he may not want to come back to. In this other city, he has ready access to drugs to self-medicate, people who don't know his history with untreated bipolar (apparently this isn't his first hospitalization and near abandonment episode) and no parents who are convinced this was all triggered by drugs. I don't agree with his mother on this, but she does at least also acknowledge that bipolar mania can happen even without the inducement. During our recent phone call, he continued to insist he loved me, that I mean everything to him, but also very clearly putting these new mania-induced experiences above me and his reality in general. He doesn't think that he's sick or that his visions are delusions. I would almost prefer anger and cruelty than this apathy and mixed messages, because there appears to be more research and support for that. I'm trying to wait this out and hold to my boundaries, but I nearly had a panic attack when I saw that he had changed his status. I want him to beg for forgiveness and do everything he can to win me back, and seeing that he isn't doing that is breaking my heart.
Omggg this is literally my story as well wtfff😭 this mán treated me like a princess and now idk whère he is. I was vacationing with my fiáncé in a different state and he hït his head on the secürity window. I literally had 0 idea he had bîpolar. Then his parents came to pick him up (without me knowing) and they left me in the hötel. He called me right after he landed and was telling me that he can’t wait to marry me and that he only has eyes for me but started acting weird again and then poof he disappèared. His family won’t respond to me and last I heard his sister said that he’s in a hospital and that they don’t allow phones there 😭😑. I even posted a sèxy video on his Instagrám and then the next day the entire thing was abándoned. Location turned off and everything. I’m reading about mànic deprèssion and how they ghost people but I’m not sure if it’s his parents doing this.
I should mention that before he ghosted I showed him a pregnancy test and he always wanted children like he would beg me everyday but I’m having trouble getting pregnànt. I found out it was a false positive 😭💔but Im too áshamed to message it as his family might have his phone. Regardless this story is super similar to mine it’s stránge. I’m wondering if you are a Aquarius, Aries, Virgo, or Pisces bc that my astrology chart.
If the detachment is "not real" what is real? Perhaps one could lose track of which version is the original. And is the original the best version of the self?
This has me in tears. I was recently diagnosed with BPD and my girlfriend of a couple months is bipolar. We broke up once already because I noticed the detachment but she insisted she was just tired. I split because I took it as her abandoning me 😫 I really hope if I watch more of your videos, I'll have the tools to better navigate healthy communication with my love 💘 thank you for sharing your insight! This was so helpful and enlightening!
I have a certain type of bipolar disorder and my boyfriend has hypersexuality bipolar diagnose and he won't get help but anyways it's like we cycle around the same time I feel like it's a real big problem right now
Yup. My ex has bipolar disorder and we have broken up 3 times in 4 years. First one she didn’t know what she wanted so I gave her space. It took 2 weeks and we got back together. Second time she said it was to much and I gave her time. Right now it’s been the 3rd time and this time she said she lost feelings and doesn’t love me. We were ready to move in and have kids. She’s out of character and she’s doing things she never liked (going out) and I think she’s dating someone. Idk what to do anymore.
Let her go bro.. My ex girlfriend is bi polar too. She’d want space over and over. It felt like she didn’t want me so I just broke up with her after almost 2 months with her. Her constant want for space became draining even tho I’m respecting her wishes but i knew I had to make a decision. She called me a couple of times after I broke up with her but I had my guard up and was very neutral in conversation because I couldn’t be that guy I was when I was in a relationship with her. I could tell she missed me and I missed her too but I’d be mentally and emotionally wrecked if I kept going with our relationship. Please i beg you to save yourself for your peace of mind.
My gf has BP2 and for the first time in our loving 8 months long relationship, she woke up yesterday deciding she doesn't feel like talking to me anymore, cancelled all plans and chose no contact at all. Idk what to do
What about parent and adult child with bipolar? Same...it is so difficult and I'm in therapy to decide if and how I'd take a time out from his bipolar. I'm weary...23+ years...
Anyone on here who has a partner with bipolar who doesn’t remember how they treat you when filled with disgust? Like their memory blocks it and they think everything has been fine? Even if they’ve been emotionally and verbally abusive? My husband thinks I make up the things he does because he’d “never say or do that”.
Mental illness is not an excuse. I understand not understanding your emotions bipolar is hard but we ultimately make our own choices. It is us and bipolar is apart of us it’s just learning how to navigate it.
Hi I’m bipolar and that’s actually not true. There is literally a brain disconnect. That is why most of us HAVE to be on medications and have certain therapy. Trust me, none of us would “choose” to act in such vile ways. It’s a very complex illness
@@MB-xv7er I’m bipolar as well and speaking from my own experience. We can agree to disagree. I don’t take medication and have my own healthy ways of coping, as well as going to therapy.
@@HighDefinition81695 we can definitely agree to disagree for sure. Bipolar I think effects every person differently. For me, I know i need medicine and it has been a grueling process to get access to my medication again, and that has made my life not the best
Someone please Tell list to my ex. and this to me for 4 and a 1/2 years on off. Until eventually she called the police and I was warned to stay away even after all that I still love this woman. What can I do?
Wife decided after a 4 day breakdown (her word, breakthrough) that it was a spiritual awakening and she’s happier alone. She’s now seconds from ending a 13 year relationship (2 weeks away from out 13 yr) and looks at me with no emotion, no romantic feelings. She’s convinced that she was miserable our whole relationship. It was the start of her manic episode. She’s still getting treatment but feels she’s hacked the disorder & knows how to help people avoid the pitfalls. She was just released from a hospital. For 3 days I had no idea where she was. She was angry at me. After not going more than 6-9 hours without speaking, I faced 3 days not knowing if she’d been released somewhere in a delusional state. It was terrifying. Then she called, telling me more signs that she was supposed to leave me, happy like she’d won a prize. In my view, I lost my wife overnight. Complete 180. She looks at me like I’m a stranger. Like I’m paint drying. This is horrible and no matter what I tell her I’m wrong & can’t tell her that her interpretation is skewed or she’s misremembering things. It’s like time doesn’t matter. She’s brought up things from 12 yrs ago in the next second something from last yr. It’s making me wonder if she really was unhappy the whole time. She’s willing to get meds, & stay on them. I’m very lost. I just want to see my wife again, even for a few moments. She came back for 2 hours on Christmas then was sucked right back into the mania. Just from talking about a trigger. I miss my wife. I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again. I have no family beyond a grandma with severe health issues. This is the hardest thing I’ve gone through in my life. That’s really saying something.
For anyone reading this looking for hope or going through something similar, my wife, over the last few days, just under 2 weeks on a new medication, says her feelings for me are starting to come back & she’s starting to more fully disconnect from her delusional thoughts. Anywhere from 6-8 weeks from the earliest stages of hypomania to now, where we finally see parts of her original personality come back. Just under 2 weeks on a comically low dose of what seems like the right medication for her really turned things around. We still aren’t 100% on where things stand, but she has her first appointment with her long term psychiatrist (not in the hospital) tomorrow. I’m just thrilled to see glimpses of my wife again. Her entire personality was gone for a long time. She started smiling again like she used to a day or two ago. A long winded way of saying don’t give up hope. Be patient, especially if they are committed to meds & therapy. It will be rough, but it’s likely tougher on them if they don’t have you there as they try to to work through the gaps of what happened during their episode to build a plan for long term health & stability. I tried to hold onto the idea that she’d need support when the fog cleared, even if she didn’t always realize it. It makes the darker days a little easier to get through. Good luck to everyone else out there.
Another update in case it helps. My wife went manic according to both of our estimates around December 20. February 20, after a couple med changes shes nearly 90% back to herself. Said she wants to stay married & wants to work on a care plan if it happens again, so she knows what to believe if thoughts pull her another direction. Her personality almost completely returned. Although she feels she has a bit of “emotional amnesia” she feels married again & wants to stay. Shes connected the episode swing with emotional events during her life. She was diagnosed after her 1st severe mania episode at 33. Later than most. Anyone else completely blindsided by something like this, try hard to not lose your own reality. Do what you can to care for yourself so you can give them a soft place to land as they become stable. I kept telling my wife (to not dismiss or endorse her feelings) and it seemed to keep her calm without hurting me: “I understand you feel these feelings are real. If they are, theyll be just as real in 3 months. Give it time for you to get stable again before making a decision.” Again I appreciate this channel for talking about a concept I couldn’t find anywhere outside of bipolar spouse groups. I don’t know where I (or we) would be without it. I attribute this channel’s content to at least a portion of my own & my wife’s recovery. Thank you.
@Noname-wi8xp Thank you for the insightful posts. I am in the same boat. Love of my life but she kicked me out again. It is hardest to see them like that and even get blamed. The emotionless stare from the love of your life when you are crying to them is the worst. Glad it is getting better for you guys. Be strong.
I have a question about a friend with bipolar. I live with this friend and their spouse in the basement apartment. I also work with my friend. My friend has been off meds for over a year and lately have been uncaring to me and pushing me further and further away. I try to continue to show my love and support for them while respecting their boundaries and giving them space. But even with all this I feel there’s something wrong. From what I can see they only treat me like this and not their spouse or any other friends. I’m wondering if my friend feels I’m going to jeopardize their marriage. I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to lose their friendship but I feel like a burden to them now. What should I do? They tell me they love me (as a friend) but I don’t know 🤷🏻♀️
Sharing with your family is NOT a good idea. If you share with your family how you are feeling, your feelings may change but theirs will not. When your bipolar you're feelings are usually temporary but they are very strong, AT THE MOMENT. All your family members will remember is the bad things or any negative comments made.
I have been dating a bipolar girl with terrible trauma for 6 months. I am a single dad. She tried to pressure me into introducing her to the kids even after saying and doing disgusting things and acting terrible. She’s loyal, doesn’t cheat or talk to other men but it goes from obsessive and telling me she wants marriage to hating me over a delusion and I can’t even count how many times she’s deleted all our social media posts and threatened me. I’m getting to the point where my own mental health is suffering immensely and I’m considering just walking away. Think twice before dating someone bipolar , it will be the most difficult thing if your entire life.
My now ex girlfriend of 10 years dumped me because of having this issue. And now it is almost 2 month of no contact. I read that phases of bipolar can last up to 6 month. Feeling so horrible and devasted
@@neodistinct did you try to reach out? I don’t know your story. But I’m kind of in „her” situation now and after what happened in my relashionship I would expect him to text me and say something. I believe that with good medication and support you can get stable and change your life but it’s only YOU who can change anything. It’s you who need to want! And if you really love each other you will get back. If you deeply want that I wish that to you!
The detachment inside from someone you lovw can definitely last for months not weeks …I had it once for 6 months woke up and was like wtf am I doing. For me it means the meds aren’t right, when things are good I don’t go through it
Yes it can
I’ve been gaslighted by a man who’s definitely bipolar. He talks to a therapist everyday, has sticky notes all over his mirror with reassurance self notes, takes 5
Diff meds. Goes ghost on me then comes around like nothing happened. The last
Time I saw him he told
Me he was going to go to jail for 3 months because of an issue he had with an ex who out a restraining order on him and when I looked him up he had lied to me and when I texted
Him he blocked me. Clearly
He’s NOT locked up, just saw him at a gender reveal party this weekend with a group of people and a girl he seems to be with. This has been going on since December I’m definitely done with trying to deal with him. Changed my number and blocked him all over the internet.
Thank you for posting all of these videos. My GF of 7 months has Bipolar disorder and I'm learning all that I can about it. She doesn't blame me for any of the swings in emotion and I understand that what she says during some episodes aren't what she really means. Of course it still terrifies me when her depressive episodes happen or detachment comes up, but I am patient and will never let her push me away in those tough times. She is everything to me and I let her know that every chance that I get. I know that I'll never be able to fully understand how it feels to have these changes in feelings that she gets, but what I do understand is that this disorder doesn't define her or make her any less of a fantastic person. She is incredible and even though she may doubt that at times, I will always support her and do my best to give her the care that she deserves.
You're the best, mate
Consider how much of your life you are willing to donate to them.
You are only on this planet once and taking care of the emotions of 2 adults takes a lot of the most precious we have on this planet, time.
It may seem "nice" at times however you are in a trauma bond. Wake yourself up from the fog.
@@kayjay6353 don’t worry lol. I woke up from the fog a good while ago. Had a relationship with someone who didn’t have bipolar disorder and it made me realize just how horrible my relationship from this old comment was. I’d never do that again 🫣
My girlfriend works as a manager she is 26 I am 36 I have bipolar and I told her that usually I thought that women will reject guys with bipolar but she said she still love me and this video gives me hope God bless you
I understand all of this information. However, it's extremely hard on the person on the opposite end. The up/down, the verbal attacks, physical attacks & then coming back like nothing happened is too much. My spirit & peace has been disturbed enough.
Exactly! And I believe that's the real conversation that's needs to had...
I'm dating someone bipolar who I care and have love for, but it's becoming draining emotionally exhausted .
Th abuse at times is too much.
Thank you for being vurnerable with us!
💛💛💛
This happened to me recently. My best friend blocked me after getting mad at me. We went from talking all day daily to him cutting me off. I wish I could send him this video. I wish he could recognize his condition and symptomns and get treatment so he won't spend his life ruining relationships. All I can do is pray for him.
@Dante It's been nine months so I doubt it. Apart of me believes he knows he made a mistake, but instead of coming around, he'd rather leave it alone to not cause more hurt.
This is the best video I’ve seen of bipolar, you explained exactly what I go through with him, no therapist no reading online has explored bipolar like this , thank you 🙏🏾
Can I ask, how long does detatchment phase last for? Because it's been 3 weeks since we broke up, I message her at times saying like merry Christmas and gives me small short respsonses,.I don't want to give up on her but I need to know if the breakup is mutual or her symptom
So happy I found this video, I was literally 2 secs from breaking up with my boyfriend, as I wana do every other week. I’m gona write a letter to myself as to why we’re together, I’m also gona write a list of songs that opens my heart to how I feel about him , maybe listening to them through those times of detachment will help.
Thank you for mentioning this. When you are a caregiver for a bipolar spouse to feel your spouse distance themselves from you is so hurtful. I give my all to support my BP husband so it's deeply painful when this happens. It's like he has forgotten all I've been there through with him. Add to this that he's still available to get his needs met and get my help and support yet can't just hug me without pulling teeth.
It doesn't matter that it's the disease. My mind knows this. But the damage to my self esteem when this happens is real.
Do people with Bipolar go through detachment with friends or only with partners?
I’m going through this right now with my BP wife of 12 years it is truly heartbreaking for me and my kids. The sad thing about it, is this is the 5th time we’ve been through this and it never gets any better. It’s mentally exhausting for a normal person and after sometime you start to wonder am I normal. I’m at the point in my life where I don’t really know how much longer I can deal with it and not go crazy. It’s that bad.
I felt this comment. I don't feel like I have to caretake for him too much but the distancing is soo painful and gets us into heated arguments.
I think my bf has this. He distance himself and comes back like nothing happends. Anger outburst if I confront him with things in general, super sensitive, selfish always his needs met. I need to force him to hug me or hold me when he is in a deep mood. Is this depression? He don't do anything at home, no cooking, cleaning, no laundry he gets mad if I ask small things he needs to do. He work a lot and play video games. It's like beeing with a 10 years old sometimes. He also don't want to talk about his feelings. I don't know what to do and he won't see that this is not normal. Can it be bipolar?he also never take initiative to things in general and his sex drive is low when he is depressed ore has this swings. His mom has this and it's the worst to deal with here sometimes. It's a roller coaster. Mentally exhausted. It mocked my self esteem down so much
@@gigafia5358he’s either bipolar or possibly a narcissist
Thank you for posting this follow up video to why 90% bipolar marriages/relationships fail. I go through this with my wife every 6-7 months. I’m trying to stay strong, but I don’t know if she’ll back from this one. I can’t tell you how helpful your videos have been these past 5 years. Thank you again
Any update? Did she come back?
@@MichaelRBurke She did, and her mania came back and it got worse for the a few years. We separated. But we’re trying to work things out now. Her current meds seem to be helping her stay stable.
@Ratiocinativefun please tell me more because I'm stuck, my ex is bipolar type 2, it's been a long distance relationship, 10 months in, she said I was her first love and longest relationship she had, she said I am an angel husband and only man that treated her well and perfect for her, then, suddenly on December she breaks up with me saying she doesn't "feel" in love with me anymore, she was a different person, she was cold, cruel, it's like she didn't care or even cried,
What I wanna know is has this happened to you and how long did it take for her to come back to you?
Also, was it on her manic state or depression?
It's been 2 months since we broke up and I don't wanna give up on her
@@phurion. always be ready to let go. I’ve let her go so many times. I’ve never chased her. I know you’re searching as I was before. Being in your shoes.
Mine developed BPD on top of her Bipolar, and that added more challenges.
@@Ratiocinativefun I know I should let go but, idk this is the first time, its why I wanna know how long does this manic or detachment phase usually last for, it's been 2 months or so
Honestly, thank you so much for talking about this. I feel so crazy in my relationship right now. This just really gives clarity. You're right, there are so many minute things you experience when you have BP that no one talks about. But we need awareness because it will only help others get diagnosed themselves.
Everything she explains is 100%, I’m getting out of a 3 1/2 year relationship with a woman I fell in love with who is diagnosed bipolar two it’s extremely taxing and stressful. Especially if your partner is not taking necessary steps to work on themselves, either therapy or medication if necessary. I commend anyone who wants to take on this challenge. But in my prior experience, something I’m actually currently going through. I would prefer to not even get involved in that type of situation again. so much, frustration and confusion. Again it was extremely mentally and emotionally taxing and the ripple affects throughout other areas of life. We’re not worth it no matter how much you love that person. In hindsight, I would much rather for someone who is mentally stable enough to be consistent so we can build together without the unnecessary obstacles that relationships already have, it only adds to the difficulty. Good luck to everyone.
Same here 💪🏽
My fiancé breaks me every other week. Blocked from everything. She is type2 I’m fresh learning about this and until today I haven’t found what you just told me. I have hope thank you. I love her to the moon and back. Im not gonna lie, this is the hardest thing to deal with but she to me makes it worth it ❤
Bipolar people need partners like you. Calm and loving… I feel like it’s just too hard for me to handle that this way….
I have a question, how long does your fiance detatchmen faze last for?
This video is super helpful. I wish I found it sooner. My wife has bipolar disorder and this has caused me soooo much confusion, and led to anything that is maybe unhealthy.
I think knowing this alone will help me be better in the relationship. I would like to share it with my wife as well, see what she thinks (she has to make the decision if that's it, I certainly don't want to gaslight)
This thing has been so hurtful because I'm so in love with my wife, more than anyone ever, and usually she says she feels the same. When this has happened, it's led to me being so hurt and confused, it's been hard to trust, it's made me feel used and abandoned... something I know my wife wouldn't do.
Yes, the communication of knowing where she is at certainly helps me discern what's going on. I've been questioning my own sanity because of it.
I wish that I came across this video last year, I have experienced this same issue in December 2020 with my wife....this is crazy.
Awesome video ,Lizzy
This happened to me . We were absolutely wonderful together and going along and then bam he broke it off. Even two months later he told me he feels nothing and denies our connection. He’s unmedicated and not in treatment… it’s so sad. I pray he snaps out of it as you said. I’m devastated. I did see him one day at the store and he doesn’t even look like himself so I’m worried he’s in a episode and started self medicating again. Please tell me there’ hope his feelings will come back
How did it end?
Did he come back? My bf cut me off too after 8yrs. I need hope.
Thank you so much 😢 I’m a wife of a bipolar man ! Untreated all you said is true ! When the night comes he becomes argumentative person 😢 putting blame on me that im too emotional person but heck no!! When he is in a mania he suddently isolate himself
Some people not bipolar have attachment/ detachments problems. Like you said. Very intense
I viewed numerous videos, 90 % of BP Relationships fail. I told my BP Queen, we gonna be the 10% who make it. Break up? every other day. She is Beautiful Inside and Out! 5 months & I'm wore out emotionally.
I Love this Women to death!
I'm so Lucky to have her but!!
How are things going for you guys?
It’s actually 91% lol. My fiancé (who’s bipolar) says the same…”so we have 9%! We’re good! Lol
This is like the 3rd time I've felt this way and I was trying to find a video to explain how I feel and see if others felt this as well. I knew something was off and that I still love him. I knew it had to be something that was making me feel this way because at any other time while not in this mindset I love my bf so much. Thank you, you just saved my sanity.
How long does the detachment usually last for you before you start feeling love for him again?
Yes it’s hard to explain the knowing but not knowing
Your video helped me understand so much. My ex who has bipolar broke up with me for the 3rd time. It happens once every year had it gets frustrating but I care bout him so im patient
Same here, once a year cycles of breaking up with me, and this is the 3rd time. I’m patient, but it wears you out… 😓
If you can find a pattern it helps
Weeks? It takes about 6 months. He is untreated and in his 50’s. I have been going through this for 6 plus years. It’s been nothing be pure hell. I am finally picking myself up and moving forward. It took awhile to figure it out but it all makes sense now. He will be back in the spring it’s his cycle but this time I will not be there for him. I wish him only the best. My heart goes out to other people dealing with this because it’s nothing but pure hell. The on again and off again as well as their reckless impulsive behavior is damaging to someone’s psyche.
Thank you so much for this. I'm going through the second detachment phase with my girlfriend. She ceased all contact a couple weeks ago out of no where and while I have educated myself since we started dating, I didn't know this detachment feeling existed. She hates me so much right now and all I'm trying to do is prevent our relationship from ending over nothing. It's a very serious relationship and we wanted to be engaged this year. I have the ring and everything. So thank you so much for this..
Wow...im in the SAME position...
How are things going now?
I'm in the same position with my long distance boyfriend 😢an it's even harder because I can't jus go to his house
Bro, trust me tho. I've been there before, actually my wife moved out and gaslighted me now, it drives me nuts because I'm currently too busy to handle that. You have to be aware of that. Especially she said I'm the one should go see the therapist. She claims she's the normal one.
@brandon - same brother. 14 days now, since her manic episode (unmedicated prior and now on latuda only). Prior to this she also had 3 x depressions this year and made a list of why we shouldn't be together. Gaslighted, dating apps, moved out, blaming, public hummiliation, you name it. But yet i wont give up because i know its not her. Hoping the meds will kick in...and we can get her on permanent stable meds. Praying for you all.
Thank you so much for all your advice! Because lately i've noticed that it could be that my Girlfriend is bipolar and i'm gonna do everything to support her and give her a all the love. i know how difficult these episodes can be what wants me to support her even more. I'm trying to learn a lot about it so i can help even more and i can understand how shefeels. I'm gonna be as patient as possible and i'm gonna give everything. supporting her and making her feel loved is my #1 priority, life can be tough sometimes but we can all pull through! people in the comments, never give up, we'll all get there!!
Same situation here, be strong, mate
Wow!!! You have just described what I have been going through for the past year. I don’t know what the reality of it is but you’ve described it to a T almost I have been devastated. One month he’s looking forward to our next year and he loves me and he makes his Grandioso announcements on Facebook and to my dad and then suddenly overnight things change and he’s completely dismissive and attached. It’s the most confusing thing I have ever been through and so emotionally draining.😭💔 is there nothing that helps them through that?
I'm SO sorry you've been going through this, it must be absolutely brutal. Medication definitely helps a lot! Most bipolar people are on at least 2 medications for the rest of their life. The other thing that helps is understanding bipolar and for him to make the distinction between what is the bipolar vs reality. It's a process of invalidating his own emotions continually and accepting he often cannot identify reality. This is SO important. I've accepted that what I feel and think is often a complete lie and so I don't trust myself. I have to trust other people in my life over me. I also solved the problem by telling myself I'm not allowed to break up with my boyfriend (he's now my husband) and to fake it when I don't feel those emotions. This will make relationships SO much easier overall, because in longterm relationships even non bipolar people lose the feelings and it comes down to actions and choosing the other person regardless of how you feel.
This is true to me, I wish others would find out about this and understand us better
Thanks for this explanation. I know this feeling is weird for me having BP1 and it’s super frustrating for my guy and I don’t want him to feel at fault but I have a hard time explaining the discomfort and need for distance that seriously has nothing to do with anything other than I literally need my own space and suddenly(weird and random without warning). Good video thnx
When I was diagnosed, felt scared, nervous didn't know what to do but thanks to my GP who'd printed out lots of information for me to read it helped me alot along with antipsychotic meds & mood stabilisers I'm also bipolar 1 my nephew & sister supports me but I've got some other family who believe I'm psychotic & a risk to myself & others around me
I am in love with someone with BP1, and she is currently going through this phase since yesterday. All of my pictures and our videos on her Facebook account got taken down, we are engaged but her relationship status changed to being single, and she is chatting with guys asking how they are and telling them that she won't proceed with our marriage anymore, and it just breaks my heart and makes my chest so heavy. It may take several days before she comes back to normal, but I am really not at ease and I can't sleep at night. It also affected my eating habit and I can't focus on my job. I am really going through a deep and dark tunnel here and although I can easily go and see her, I know that she doesn't want to see me yet. Oh god, when will my suffering end??? :( I love her and I am willing to go through these phases with her but she keeps on telling me to let her go because she doesn't want me to suffer because of her, but I keep telling her I won't give up on our relationship. Sending hugs and prayers to everyone going through the same thing
Any updates?
This is EXACTLY what I’m going through.
I am also going through this. 14 days now. She is BP1 and in a manic episode (unmedicated prior). Prior to it she was also depressed 3x this year and she made a list of bad things about us. Hoping the new meds will kick in soon. Praying for you all!
I’m going through the same now…😔
I'm going through this as well.. he tells me he's in love with me then the next day says I'm not what he wants and blocks me. It' so hard and confusing. Am I supposed to leave him alone ? He blocks me but calls from a restricted number and doesn't say anything. This is confusing and hurts, how do I know what his true feelings are.? I don't know how to handle feeling rejected on repeat anymore. I love him .. but this is affecting my whole life with the emotional turmoil.
My girlfriend had been putting up with me being constantly worried about her not answering my texts in a matter of minutes, and my random tendencies to start feeling emotions of anger towards her for no good reason. I have not been officially diagnosed, but I do suffer the exact same symptoms that people have described as bipolar disorder. My girlfriend, after 2 months of dealing with me decided to break it off and explained to me exactly what i was worried about, getting anxious when she wouldn't reply, becoming annoyed over insignificant things, ect. I wrote her a text telling her that I promised to be better, and now all I can hope for is a second chance with the girl that I love. I did believe that my unexpected anger and stuff was linked to the disorder but I appreciate you confirming it ms creator. I hope everyone has an amazing day.
I have Bipolar Type two with ADHD , Depression and anxiety . my man have Bipolar and Autism . He is 12 years older than me , he is 41 half years old and I am 29 half years old . Me and him have a lot in common and little not in common. Thanks for the video !
I came across this video. Thank you!!! You just describe MY relationship with my ex husband. It’s exactly what he does with me. Is very hurtful and stressful emotionally draining. It’s like he is so disgusting about me even when I talk… this is so true. 😢😢😢😢
did he ever come back to you?
I've been with my partner for 11 years now. I'm honestly surprised that she's patient enough to deal with me and my (at the time) undiagnosed bipolar. I've experienced detachment and didn't realize it many many times before, but I didn't want to break up because I somehow knew that I couldn't be trusted. I also experience paranoia, but again she's extremely patient. I love her so much and I hate that my brain is trying to ruin what I have.
Thank you for all your videos! ❤️ They have truly helped me to understand what bipolar is and what it means for the person I love to live with it everyday. Again, thank you so much😊
I have borderline personality disorder and my girlfriend is bipolar and she's now detached from me. If she knew what it's putting me through she wouldn't have done it. I am going through emotional hell not knowing if or when she'll contact me. I love her and will forever.
Thank you.. i have closure on why she left. It just doesn't make sense. Everything was fine and that light switch came on. She finally told me she's bipolar and it runs in her family. She doesn't believe in medication so I knew she wasn't coming back.
Going through it right now with mine. She came back last time it happened but this time it's worse so I'm very worried
@@Desekratedd you have to understand what i learned. They're unable to have a stable mind and empathize. She doesn't care about you because if she really did you wouldn't be here. 9 months later I'm glad i moved on. My gf now is prettier and very stable. But i aint gonna lie tho. Just something about her leaving me and not giving a fux really bothers me to this day. Enough to respond to this commeny
@@youlame5330 bipolar ppl dont have empathy?
Detachment happened to me somewhere in my 18 years of marriage. My wife knew i was bi-polar. I didn't recognise the detachment. Some how she did and filed a divorce, two weeks after leaving. It floored me, shocked isn't the word, more like gut punched. My Psychiatrist put me on Prozac, 22 wks later, i'm feeling better, the memory of the deal is still fresh. What a bummer, i got to move on.
This made me cry 😢 🥺
I lost a friend who suffers from untreated bipolar. I too am bipolar but treated. He doesn’t see what he does to people in his life. 20+ yr friendship gone with this exact light switch. I care about him but if he refuses to acknowledge he needs outside help and it’s him alone to make the choice…
Finally someone undertands me...
I am not bipolar but definitely go through phases like that . I love my fiance very much, but struggle with the feelings very often. Any how love is a choice, and i so choose to love him for how amazing he is. Thanks lizzie! That video was really relieving♥️
I think this is what I’m going through with my husband, but I’m not sure. He asked for a divorce and now, we haven’t spoken in a month because he doesn’t want to talk to me. Still trying to learn about Bipolar to help support him if it is detachment and he comes back. It’s hard to deal with, but I love him and want to help the best I can. Thank you for this video.
Going through this right now with my girlfriend. Supposed to be engaged soon and now she has cut all contact from me and is paranoid I'm going to hurt her. 😞
@@Desekratedd I’m sorry you are going through that.
Going through the same thing with my spouse. They left, won't talk to me and want a divorce. They don't think anything is wrong with them mental, so it's impossible to suggest treatment or medication.
@@blue_skyy345 Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry that you are going through this, and I completely understand how you may feel. Hoping for a positive outcome for you whether or not you stay in your relationship.
How are things going for you guys now? Did you work through it?
I just came across this video and thanks Lizzie it's very good info and insight, I'm my opinion. I've experienced this also. Question: is this considered a delusion?
Some good advice here… and some dangerous advice here. First, I would recommend NOT EVER approaching someone you love and telling them you think they’re bipolar. For several reasons, this could have negative consequences. Especially if you are married, DO NOT tell your spouse you think they are bipolar. It can have ugly consequences in court. It may come from a place of love, but that won’t be how it is portrayed by opposing counsel in a court setting.
Second, even if someone you love is diagnosed with bipolar disorder, there is always the chance that is an incomplete diagnosis. It could even be an incorrect diagnosis. Often times, what looks like biolpolar is actually a personality disorder. Or, in some cases, a person could suffer from both bipolar disorder and a personality disorder. That is a very difficult thing to overcome (not impossible).
I applaud this channel for helping to de-stigmatize mental illness! Our culture needs more of this. If you’re involved (dating or marriage) with someone who suffers from some sort of mental illness, the best thing you can do is to get support for yourself! Seek therapy from a therapist who understands the types of mental illnesses you think your loved one may be suffering from.
Stay strong and God bless! 🙏
This is helpful, thank you. 😊
Thank you so much for this video! As someone who was dating someone with bipolar and researching for days on end trying to understand what happened, this video is exactly what I was looking for! I’m praying that his light switch turns his feelings back on and comes back and we can actually discuss this very video. I’ve loved him for far too long and for some reason, I refuse to give up on him.
Don’t give up on him
@@Nmouttasim I gave up. He never came back. He ghosted me and disappeared into oblivion till this day even though I tried many times to reach out to him the first month. It is what it is and I've moved on. I don't blame his behavior on bipolar because this kind of behavior is way beyond that.
@91desertrose any updates?
I constantly want to change. So even if there’s love I want to reset myself in every area of my life.
Gosh, this video was so insanely helpful & reassuring!
Thank you for being real sister.👍
My ex bipolar girlfriend broke up without closure and on the same day said she loved me but decided to place a restraining order against me. I went along with it and know 3 months later she calls me to wish me a happy birthday. To me the message is the same unless she is determined to work on herself what would ever change. I think its best for me even though I love her to not want her back because I hate the illness and what it does. I don't think she will ever get real medical help like medication because she doesn't take anything that im aware of plus she hated taking it when she was taken medication. The only thing she would take is 420. It's hard to walk away because you want to believe it can work but the chances are slime when the other person isn't trying to take responsibility for there bad decisions
Holy shit! This just happened with a girl I've been talking to and seeing for a short time. I thought things were going way, waaayyy too fast, but I went along with it because the connection felt so amazing and addictive- and then after a really great date and talking on the phone for the rest of that night, she broke it off the next day. Completely cold, no sign of remorse or any of the emotions and feelings she showed me just hours before. Said she isn't ready for a relationship, has to focus on herself, and that I'd end up getting hurt if we continued. The kicker? She did tell me she was on lamictal for self-harm episodes- didn't mention bipolar, just her symptoms. I did not know anything about bipolar back then, so I just figured she has a self-harm problem, is in treatment for it, and that I could maybe monitor and see how it goes, since the connection we had was already so precious to me. Man, I was clueless, huh?
Wow this is what my wife is doing now who has bipolar it’s absolutely heartbreaking after 18 years and 3 kids I just hope she feels differently soon
God cares about mental health. Thank you for speaking out, Liz. 😌
Manic depression almost ended my life many times still alive but time will tell
All of this really hits home. I found the woman of my dreams in the type of relationships I'd been searching for. She was crazy about me till one day she wasn't. She went back and forth between loving and cold for about a month before we broke up. I knew she exhibited these symptoms but couldn't tell her till the day of the break up. I reached out to her the next day and she blocked me in every way. It's been almost 3 weeks and not a word from her. I love her buy I don't know what to do at this point.
You tried! She might return
Wow this really helps me. I have a bipolar girlfriend who’s the love of my life. I had no idea what was going on she just resented me saying she was sensitive to everything she didn’t want to talk to anybody including me. She wanted to cry all the time. I was getting impatient because I had no contact with her because she didn’t want to talk to me. She got pissed off at me and called me and hated me and only could focus on the negative of me which could be easily worked on. Calling me toxic and I need to work on myself like she was so annoyed of me. I talked to her foster mom and she says she does this to every guy. I can’t wait for her to come back 😢
I was 12 years with BP boyfriend and suddenly one week ago he broke a with me because apparently before I was lovely and now I’m toxic to him. He is so sure that I’ve been terrible to him that I start to doubt myself.
I can’t wait for him to open his eyes again and be able to talk to him.
The BIG problems arise when they become manic and detached at the same time. Them wanting nothing to do with you and at the same time being hyper sexual…can lead to DEVASTATING circumstances.
Going through this right now, he’s been chatting with other women while in my presence. He uses Google voice to talk to ther woman. I’ve found tons of condoms everywhere in his place, his car, his pockets. This relationship has been driving me crazy, I feel like I’m his second choice, it wasn’t like this in the beginning. He Broke up with me last Sunday, he started with all these excuses about not having money anymore to take me out, he now realizes he dosent want anymore kids, and all of a sudden his plans for us changed. The word thing is that he still kept me on Fb, and told me that he wants to remain friends. I didn’t respond to friends I don’t do friends well with exes. He said he dosent want to cut total communication with me, im so confused. This is the second time he does this, then is depressed and calls me that he wants me back. Although I feel this time he may leave for good, I just can’t trust him.
Im very worried about being single forever, as soon as someone finds out i have bp1, they bail. I am treated with meds, and i only have a few episodes per year, but man i am scared and ashamed of it. Self hate with this shit is real.
You shouldn’t hate yourself. Learn how to love it even if it’s hard! There are lots of loving people on that planet. You will find your person. Sending love❤
Don’t hate your self. Just do better now you know better
I just realised how much this sounds like borderline personality disorder with the whole relationship thing. I always say the two disorders are super different if you actually know about them, but this is one thing that sounds very similar and I rarely have heard with bipolar, very interesting. Bpd is all about emotional reactions and instability in relationships and situations, attatchment, detatchment and some also have cptsd trauma. Bipolar is polarising mood episodes,euphoria, dilusions, gradiosity, depression. It's refreshing to hear deeper experiences than what we already know, although I'm still wondering if what you're describing is bpd as it's text book and also what patients describe.
I am watching videos trying to understand what my partner is going through... And honestly. I love him so much. He is worth every effort. I really hope we can grow a beautiful relationship together. 🥹🫶🏼
How do you handle that to be than calm and loving? I wish someone could just give me a magic sulution..
This just made me wanna unalive myself even more lol. My partner had mentally destroyed me bc of them refusing to get help. I know more about her disorder than she does because she feels as though addressing it will make it real and she doesn’t want to feel like anything is “wrong with her“. I’ve reached a point where I just need to leave. Before I leave this earth lol
I hope you’re okay 🙏
I dealt with someone with bipolar disorder and I actually could tell immediately because I can read people well. I could tell just by looking at one of their pictures and how they smiled. It was confirmed when they made a post saying they were struggling with bipolar disorder. I was surprised I was right. But my question does a symptom of bipolar disorder involve being delusional and illogical about certain things? Like for example being clearly wrong about something or doing something really bad but making it seem like they didn’t do like anything wrong and taking it to the extreme?
My ex was like this 💔 he would do really mean things to me and then turn around and make it seem like he didn’t do anything wrong or lie about doing it at all
My husband becomes illogical and delusional. Although I have been with him for 15 years and have helped him and supported him he’ll say the complete opposite.
When he gets triggered by someone at a business, I’m there to clean up and figure out what happened to try to help him get past the mania that then comes with the trigger 😢
Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
Concerning myself, I made the choice to avoid being with a girl friend.
I think that living with a bipolar is close to impossible and bring to much suffering to the other. Better that she find ant other one ""normal"" (I just this word)
My bipolar Bf just blocked me for no reason:(.😢😢😢😢and its more than a month now since he did it
Thank you for this, I’ve been in love with someone who is bipolar for about 6 months. We’ll be together and it’s like nothing else in the world matters then all of a sudden they disappear for weeks at a time, bail on plans last minute, say they feel nothing for me. They told me they loved me in the beginning now they won’t anymore. It’s been so hard and it’s left me a emotional wreck but I just don’t want to give up on them. ;(
Stop trying to save them. Law number 10. And more importantly. Do you want to go through this rollercoaster? If not. It’s your responsibility to get off of it.
I’m going through something similar. What do you do when they disappear? Are you still together?
What I don’t understand is, love and feeling loving are two different things . I don’t have to feel all lovey dovey to say I love you or give a hug no matter what is going on. I don’t stop telling my kids or friends I love them or giving them a hug because I’m not “feeling it” that day, month or year ? That’s when they med to hear it the most. I don’t understand the selfishness
I mean even the way the feeling is described here as COMPLETE DISGUST is all about the person with bp. WHAT DO YOU THINK ITS LIKE WHEN THE PERSON YOU LOVE THiNKS YOURE DISGUSTING???
Feelings are not reality !!!!
My girlfriend of 2+ years was just diagnosed with bipolar, she’s in the psych ward from a manic episode, wants to break up with me. I am hoping that once she is medicated and coming down she won’t but we will see. I love her so much but I don’t think I could handle it
Thank you my sister 🙏 leaning so much just in case
Amazing. So helpful video.
You really have helped me so much, I have this often and im so scared im going to loose my boyfriend.
Thank you for this video! My ex boyfriend is possibly bi polar. He said he was misdiagnosed with it because the meds made him more manic or something. But after what I just had to deal with this past week, I feel like he is just in denial. All day Saturday (he went out drinking with friends and got no sleep) he had different episodes of crying about an ancient ancestors past, having a seizure or something for about 5 minutes and proceeded to say he was perfectly fine, then getting dangerously sleepy while driving and then switching to wide awake after a few sips of tea and started to laugh hysterically at a podcast like it was the funniest thing in the world. At this point I’m a bit traumatized and I have no idea what to do. When we finally get to the destination, I tell him that I’m worried and that I think something is wrong and that we should get help (after watching this I probably made it worst) He preceded to get extremely angry and said very hurtful things to me telling me to go pack things and leave. While packing, I was crying and he was telling me how I’m so immature. He was so determined for us to talk to me grandma which we did and he preceded to say that our relationship is rocky because of my relationship with my mom, and pretty much putting all the blame on me. At this point I was in survival mode so I just agreed to whatever he said. He calmed down after the conversation and after we went to sleep, he must’ve woke up extremely early and woke me up at 330 am. He was pacing back and forth, hyping himself in the mirror and frantically putting things in different places. All while nitpicking me. And he’ll jump loving to irritated at me for the next few hours. At this moment I was scared. I love him dearly but I felt like I was in danger. So I found a way to separate from him. Luckily I had a friend living in South Beach and another friend who just arrived that day. Once I separated he became even more manic. He was harassing my friend randomly, holding the few things I left there for ransom (figuratively speaking) and was blowing up my grandmas phone with voice memos saying I was sick and need to go rehab with a hole bunch of other exaggerated personal things that confided in him with. Eventually I was finally to able to fly home. Now I don’t know what to do. I love the man because outside of this crazy situation he is the sweetest and most thoughtful guy I have ever known. We had so many good times and travels a bit together. He mentioned being hospitalized for alcohol because drinking makes him not act like himself so he was always cautious when it came to drinking. But he never mentioned having a mental illness till someone else told me and I confronted him about it. But he seemed very convincing that the bipolar diagnoses was incorrect and had a good explanation about what he went through when he was younger.
Now I think we are in the detachment phase. He has a whole list of things why our relationship wont work and that i have to go to therapy if this relationship is too work.
Sorry for the long post but I’ve been searching all over RUclips to find potential answers for what I just experienced and how to deal with it.
Also since he is in denial, is there really anything I can do.... I might have to just walk away... but I also don’t want to because if he is truly sick ... this whole situation is so sad.
Would love to know how things turned out for you. So much of your story sounds like mine. The worst is confiding in someone you love and trust only to have them use it against you and spread it to others. Sorry you're going through this. I've been doing research like crazy too, trying to find answers.
@@blue_skyy345 How are you feeling about all this right now?
@@RadgarPL Thanks for asking. I'm trying to manage one day at a time. Still doesn't feel like my life. Every once in a while I'm waiting to wake up from all this.
@@blue_skyy345 Healing takes time, sometimes I'm afraid but. But I'm ready. Are you still in touch with your ex or did you say goodbye forever?
@@RadgarPL We don't talk at all. He was really disrespectful and made it a point to say hurtful things in every conversation. I had to limit contact. After I was of no use to him, he stopped contacting me. I don't hear from him at all anymore. It's for the best because he was verbal abusive.
Someone I absolutely adore did this to me recently and I did wonder if it was detachment as I had heard about it before, but he says he wants to stay friends and we do talk often so maybe he just doesn't want me. He did say he still fancied me last week though. 😢
My relationship when up in smoke after 3 years and I was the one with bipolar in the relationship lol. I learned a lot about dealing with my mental health since I been single
Thank you so much for this video. I need so much help. My partner recently had a major manic episode in another city which landed him in the hospital. He mistreated me terribly the night before over the phone, speaking in sing song riddles about god and important spiritual messages (delusions and grandiosity), implying he had fallen in love with another woman, and saying he was staying there (his old university city) and wouldn't be coming back. Just before his trip, I had found out that I was pregnant. He had been the model boyfriend beforehand, extremely loving and devoted, and he didn't tell me anything about bipolar or even suspected bipolar. He mixed marijuana, alcohol, and hallucinogens while on this two week trip and on the day he was meant to come home, he sounded completely incoherent. Because of how terribly he treated me on the phone----I was crazy for hours trying to get a straight answer from him and trying to figure out what was really going on---I ended the relationship that night. The next day, I heard from his mother that he was found on the street and taken to a hospital. It's been a week and a half and he's still there. He was well enough to speak to me three days ago, and while he was more lucid, he's still not taking accountability or acknowledging that he's sick. He thinks he's on an important spiritual journey and wants to stay on in the city. I had already confirmed with the other woman that his visions had been delusional, and there was no affair, but perhaps he's still interested in her. He's been sending mixed messages from the hospital as to whether or not he's coming home, as well as a lot of mixed messages about his intentions/feelings towards me: telling me he loves me on the phone but also doesn't know what he wants to do, telling his mother he loves me, inviting me to a mutual friend's event in two weeks (at home) but then also changing his relationship status back to single. I did technically break up with him but he knows exactly why and exactly what I expect for reconciliation, but this isn't it. I KNOW he's not in his right mind right now---the doctors at the hospital don't believe he's yet stable enough to leave---but I'm losing my mind trying to deal with his weird mixed messages. I've heard that bipolar I (which I think he also has, this event must have been caused by significant mania) can shut down empathy and that is what is going on, but it's deeply painful and traumatic, especially because of what happened to me while he was in the city and in the hospital. I had to terminate the pregnancy. I've been in hell. I'm afraid to go no contact, that it will look like abandoning a sick person, but he's toying with me while he's still manic and I don't know what to do.
And yes it went from complete devotion, wanting marriage and children with me (confirmed also by his mother who I've been communicating with while he's in the hospital), thrilled that I was pregnant (even though our relationship is very new) to seemingly not caring much if I'm with him or not. He can't connect with my pain or my justifiable anger, and I get the sense I'm an inconvenience, a burden, and associated with a home he may not want to come back to. In this other city, he has ready access to drugs to self-medicate, people who don't know his history with untreated bipolar (apparently this isn't his first hospitalization and near abandonment episode) and no parents who are convinced this was all triggered by drugs. I don't agree with his mother on this, but she does at least also acknowledge that bipolar mania can happen even without the inducement. During our recent phone call, he continued to insist he loved me, that I mean everything to him, but also very clearly putting these new mania-induced experiences above me and his reality in general. He doesn't think that he's sick or that his visions are delusions. I would almost prefer anger and cruelty than this apathy and mixed messages, because there appears to be more research and support for that. I'm trying to wait this out and hold to my boundaries, but I nearly had a panic attack when I saw that he had changed his status. I want him to beg for forgiveness and do everything he can to win me back, and seeing that he isn't doing that is breaking my heart.
Omggg this is literally my story as well wtfff😭 this mán treated me like a princess and now idk whère he is. I was vacationing with my fiáncé in a different state and he hït his head on the secürity window. I literally had 0 idea he had bîpolar. Then his parents came to pick him up (without me knowing) and they left me in the hötel. He called me right after he landed and was telling me that he can’t wait to marry me and that he only has eyes for me but started acting weird again and then poof he disappèared. His family won’t respond to me and last I heard his sister said that he’s in a hospital and that they don’t allow phones there 😭😑. I even posted a sèxy video on his Instagrám and then the next day the entire thing was abándoned. Location turned off and everything. I’m reading about mànic deprèssion and how they ghost people but I’m not sure if it’s his parents doing this.
I should mention that before he ghosted I showed him a pregnancy test and he always wanted children like he would beg me everyday but I’m having trouble getting pregnànt. I found out it was a false positive 😭💔but Im too áshamed to message it as his family might have his phone. Regardless this story is super similar to mine it’s stránge. I’m wondering if you are a Aquarius, Aries, Virgo, or Pisces bc that my astrology chart.
What happened?
If the detachment is "not real" what is real? Perhaps one could lose track of which version is the original. And is the original the best version of the self?
Roller coaster.
This has me in tears. I was recently diagnosed with BPD and my girlfriend of a couple months is bipolar. We broke up once already because I noticed the detachment but she insisted she was just tired. I split because I took it as her abandoning me 😫 I really hope if I watch more of your videos, I'll have the tools to better navigate healthy communication with my love 💘 thank you for sharing your insight! This was so helpful and enlightening!
I have a certain type of bipolar disorder and my boyfriend has hypersexuality bipolar diagnose and he won't get help but anyways it's like we cycle around the same time I feel like it's a real big problem right now
My bi polar ex up and left me , the only thing holding me together is the Scarecrow
Exercise (especially cardio), meditation, yoga, breathing exercises, etc. I hope you are better now
@@BadgerVidder omg yes !! Much better !
What should i do if my significant other shuts me off. Should i communicate that i am just going to wait?
I've done this since I was 16. I'm 48. Never married because of it. It hits me like a brick and I feel like I'm living with a predator
Yup. My ex has bipolar disorder and we have broken up 3 times in 4 years. First one she didn’t know what she wanted so I gave her space. It took 2 weeks and we got back together. Second time she said it was to much and I gave her time. Right now it’s been the 3rd time and this time she said she lost feelings and doesn’t love me. We were ready to move in and have kids. She’s out of character and she’s doing things she never liked (going out) and I think she’s dating someone. Idk what to do anymore.
Let her go bro.. My ex girlfriend is bi polar too. She’d want space over and over. It felt like she didn’t want me so I just broke up with her after almost 2 months with her. Her constant want for space became draining even tho I’m respecting her wishes but i knew I had to make a decision. She called me a couple of times after I broke up with her but I had my guard up and was very neutral in conversation because I couldn’t be that guy I was when I was in a relationship with her. I could tell she missed me and I missed her too but I’d be mentally and emotionally wrecked if I kept going with our relationship. Please i beg you to save yourself for your peace of mind.
How’d it go?
How is it going )?
My gf has BP2 and for the first time in our loving 8 months long relationship, she woke up yesterday deciding she doesn't feel like talking to me anymore, cancelled all plans and chose no contact at all. Idk what to do
What about parent and adult child with bipolar? Same...it is so difficult and I'm in therapy to decide if and how I'd take a time out from his bipolar. I'm weary...23+ years...
Anyone on here who has a partner with bipolar who doesn’t remember how they treat you when filled with disgust? Like their memory blocks it and they think everything has been fine? Even if they’ve been emotionally and verbally abusive?
My husband thinks I make up the things he does because he’d “never say or do that”.
They know what they say during their episodes. What your partner is doing is classic gaslighting, trying to make you question your own reality.
Mental illness is not an excuse. I understand not understanding your emotions bipolar is hard but we ultimately make our own choices. It is us and bipolar is apart of us it’s just learning how to navigate it.
Hi I’m bipolar and that’s actually not true. There is literally a brain disconnect. That is why most of us HAVE to be on medications and have certain therapy. Trust me, none of us would “choose” to act in such vile ways. It’s a very complex illness
@@MB-xv7er I’m bipolar as well and speaking from my own experience. We can agree to disagree. I don’t take medication and have my own healthy ways of coping, as well as going to therapy.
@@HighDefinition81695 we can definitely agree to disagree for sure. Bipolar I think effects every person differently. For me, I know i need medicine and it has been a grueling process to get access to my medication again, and that has made my life not the best
@@MB-xv7er I hope things get better for you. Sending good vibes!✌🏾
@@MB-xv7er it’s definitely not easy to deal with and I can’t definitely agree on that part.
Someone please Tell list to my ex. and this to me for 4 and a 1/2 years on off. Until eventually she called the police and I was warned to stay away even after all that I still love this woman. What can I do?
What make Me sick is people faking this disorder...
Wife decided after a 4 day breakdown (her word, breakthrough) that it was a spiritual awakening and she’s happier alone.
She’s now seconds from ending a 13 year relationship (2 weeks away from out 13 yr) and looks at me with no emotion, no romantic feelings. She’s convinced that she was miserable our whole relationship.
It was the start of her manic episode. She’s still getting treatment but feels she’s hacked the disorder & knows how to help people avoid the pitfalls.
She was just released from a hospital. For 3 days I had no idea where she was. She was angry at me. After not going more than 6-9 hours without speaking, I faced 3 days not knowing if she’d been released somewhere in a delusional state. It was terrifying.
Then she called, telling me more signs that she was supposed to leave me, happy like she’d won a prize.
In my view, I lost my wife overnight. Complete 180.
She looks at me like I’m a stranger. Like I’m paint drying.
This is horrible and no matter what I tell her I’m wrong & can’t tell her that her interpretation is skewed or she’s misremembering things. It’s like time doesn’t matter. She’s brought up things from 12 yrs ago in the next second something from last yr. It’s making me wonder if she really was unhappy the whole time.
She’s willing to get meds, & stay on them.
I’m very lost. I just want to see my wife again, even for a few moments. She came back for 2 hours on Christmas then was sucked right back into the mania. Just from talking about a trigger. I miss my wife.
I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again.
I have no family beyond a grandma with severe health issues.
This is the hardest thing I’ve gone through in my life. That’s really saying something.
For anyone reading this looking for hope or going through something similar, my wife, over the last few days, just under 2 weeks on a new medication, says her feelings for me are starting to come back & she’s starting to more fully disconnect from her delusional thoughts.
Anywhere from 6-8 weeks from the earliest stages of hypomania to now, where we finally see parts of her original personality come back. Just under 2 weeks on a comically low dose of what seems like the right medication for her really turned things around.
We still aren’t 100% on where things stand, but she has her first appointment with her long term psychiatrist (not in the hospital) tomorrow. I’m just thrilled to see glimpses of my wife again. Her entire personality was gone for a long time. She started smiling again like she used to a day or two ago.
A long winded way of saying don’t give up hope. Be patient, especially if they are committed to meds & therapy. It will be rough, but it’s likely tougher on them if they don’t have you there as they try to to work through the gaps of what happened during their episode to build a plan for long term health & stability.
I tried to hold onto the idea that she’d need support when the fog cleared, even if she didn’t always realize it. It makes the darker days a little easier to get through.
Good luck to everyone else out there.
Another update in case it helps.
My wife went manic according to both of our estimates around December 20.
February 20, after a couple med changes shes nearly 90% back to herself. Said she wants to stay married & wants to work on a care plan if it happens again, so she knows what to believe if thoughts pull her another direction.
Her personality almost completely returned. Although she feels she has a bit of “emotional amnesia” she feels married again & wants to stay.
Shes connected the episode swing with emotional events during her life. She was diagnosed after her 1st severe mania episode at 33. Later than most.
Anyone else completely blindsided by something like this, try hard to not lose your own reality.
Do what you can to care for yourself so you can give them a soft place to land as they become stable.
I kept telling my wife (to not dismiss or endorse her feelings) and it seemed to keep her calm without hurting me:
“I understand you feel these feelings are real. If they are, theyll be just as real in 3 months. Give it time for you to get stable again before making a decision.”
Again I appreciate this channel for talking about a concept I couldn’t find anywhere outside of bipolar spouse groups. I don’t know where I (or we) would be without it. I attribute this channel’s content to at least a portion of my own & my wife’s recovery.
Thank you.
@Noname-wi8xp
Thank you for the insightful posts. I am in the same boat. Love of my life but she kicked me out again. It is hardest to see them like that and even get blamed. The emotionless stare from the love of your life when you are crying to them is the worst. Glad it is getting better for you guys. Be strong.
I have a question about a friend with bipolar. I live with this friend and their spouse in the basement apartment. I also work with my friend. My friend has been off meds for over a year and lately have been uncaring to me and pushing me further and further away. I try to continue to show my love and support for them while respecting their boundaries and giving them space. But even with all this I feel there’s something wrong. From what I can see they only treat me like this and not their spouse or any other friends. I’m wondering if my friend feels I’m going to jeopardize their marriage. I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to lose their friendship but I feel like a burden to them now. What should I do? They tell me they love me (as a friend) but I don’t know 🤷🏻♀️
I do that with family and jobs.
I'm not the one with bipolar, she has bipolar but I'm the one who keeps breaking up and going back. I guess I just have attachment issues
You’re bonded to this person. You’re not giving your self time or space. At this point it’s on you what you put yourself through.
Sharing with your family is NOT a good idea. If you share with your family how you are feeling, your feelings may change but theirs will not. When your bipolar you're feelings are usually temporary but they are very strong, AT THE MOMENT. All your family members will remember is the bad things or any negative comments made.
Yes older and wiser
I have had to end my relationship, because my bi polar is not helping. He has no patience with me. it got tox
Do people with Bipolar go through detachment with their friends or only partners
Will they go back if they move on?
I have been dating a bipolar girl with terrible trauma for 6 months. I am a single dad. She tried to pressure me into introducing her to the kids even after saying and doing disgusting things and acting terrible. She’s loyal, doesn’t cheat or talk to other men but it goes from obsessive and telling me she wants marriage to hating me over a delusion and I can’t even count how many times she’s deleted all our social media posts and threatened me. I’m getting to the point where my own mental health is suffering immensely and I’m considering just walking away. Think twice before dating someone bipolar , it will be the most difficult thing if your entire life.
My now ex girlfriend of 10 years dumped me because of having this issue. And now it is almost 2 month of no contact.
I read that phases of bipolar can last up to 6 month.
Feeling so horrible and devasted
How did it end for you? It was such a long time in a relashionship… hope you are both doing well❤
@@Ladymandy048 today is 6 month. Life is hell, still feeling suicidal everyday.
Is it you or your partner with BPD? I wish to help somehow❤ i hope everything will end well for both of you
@@Ladymandy048 me. I never heard from her since.
@@neodistinct did you try to reach out? I don’t know your story. But I’m kind of in „her” situation now and after what happened in my relashionship I would expect him to text me and say something. I believe that with good medication and support you can get stable and change your life but it’s only YOU who can change anything. It’s you who need to want! And if you really love each other you will get back. If you deeply want that I wish that to you!
Why would the partner want a relationship like that ?
Separate the disease from the person