I definitely see your point! It's sometimes so easy to do that. But then I reflect on how "ghosting" has so negatively impacted our society and culture. Yes, I know that word is used mostly when dating but I have ghosted so many friends and I have been ghosted and it doesn't always feel great. I would like to find a healthy way to "uncouple" with someone friend or lover....
I agree. when I wasn’t busy in life, I found my self lonely with my best friend .. and then I got tired of putting in effort .. so I got a job, focused on school , and became productive. I continue to make efforts but I just feel like I’m holding onto nothing Rn and I’m not sure what to do
"It's OK to distance yourself from people that don't make you feel good inside" YES! This took me far too long to realise, but it is completely true. I have a friend that I have nothing in common with, and she constantly makes me feel bad about myself, whether it's by making snide comments, putting her needs above mine, or patronising me. I've only recently realised that I am allowed to step away from her, and that's what I'm doing.
I’m beginning to realize the same. I feel rude or guilty for letting them go, but I can’t ignore how they treat me. I’m beginning to realize it’s not selfish to let go. Your comment really resonates with me because the people I’m letting go would do the same things you mentioned. Thank you💛
Yeah that's what I had to do this year! I always felt this girl wasn't really my friend but I'm glad she cut me off first. Guess I was afraid to do it first but trust me life gets better when you self reflect on yourself & your friendships
Yeah what is with some friends who put their needs first and not compromise. Takes you for granted and feels because you been friends for years they can treat you any old way
It's so hard. I just left the group chat and no one tried to ask me what is wrong, but it was overdue. I don't fit in with them anymore. I feel like I never did.
here are tips meaning this in a nice way pls dont be mean stop hanging out at recess less face times less texts got out and maybe get a job and find new people
@@Nysirah6321 honestly you really just have to do it like how you just subconsciously walk. i think its good to have a mindset like will this really matter in 2-5 yrs no it wont it may seem like a big deal now but this is whats good for you let them be.
the worst thing about toxic friendship is that you think that everything is ok / you think that problem is in you. even when i realized that friendship was toxic i was scared to leave. other people made me think that i’m not worthy of good friends. remember, if someone makes you question your own worth, you should leave those people
I feel like I’m outgrowing a Bestfriend that I have had since middle school. There are times when she calls me and I’m just not in the mood to talk her and the conversations are very boring. I do also feel like I’m starting to learn my self worth, and being comfortable with the skin that I’m in and I’m trying to become a better woman. I just feel like she wants to stay stopped at the red light and I’m trying to go with the green light and bettering myself
All my friends are like that too, and Im cutting them off >:) true friends WANT you to improve, to be confident and happy with yourself. If your friend seems to only like your company when you are a doormat then you need to drop her! She will only weigh you down!
We were friends for more than 40yrs however when she became a grandmother she unfriended me on Facebook because I didn’t put a like on her grandchild’s photo ....if she had bothered to message me she would have found out that I was in hospital...P.S is never to late to realise you have had a fake friend
Don't fall for the bullshit that all friendships last forever. Some people will use your history to strengthen your relationship and others will use it to hurt you worse then your worst enemy would.
I just walk away from a friendship of 25 Years. It is saddest I have ever done in my life . I loved that person with all my heart ,yet I do not permit any kind of abuse any longer.
So for me I was growing & she wasn’t. 6 years later she was the same person. so I just cut her off. It was redundant & annoying. I didn’t want to have to put her in her place every time we talked so I walked. She wasn’t worth the time & energy.
aha ha ha me too (ps i’m not laughing •_•) edit: one month one and from watching your videos i’ve kind of just created my own friend group and i suppose i’m quite happy, all are lovely girls and i’m very grateful now of course nothing is perfect and sometimes i worry it everything is going okay and things are still stable but i just need to remind myself to go with the flow and if anything is wrung then to talk with my friends because they may even be feeling the same !
I give people room to grow & be who they are that’s why we were friends for 6 years. But when your showing your friends a level of respect & they are unable to rise to the occasion & reciprocate it then it’s time to move on. We’re no longer in our 20’s were in our early 30’s there’s no excuse for that type of behavior. Frankly there’s nothing to explain or discuss. When people show u who they are believe them🤷🏽♀️
I have outgrown my best friend of many years. I definitely gave her many chances I overlooked a lot of things she’d do that I normally wouldn’t tolerate from anyone else. I finally brought it up to her and expressed what I was feeling. She didn’t take accountability and basically continued the negative behavior. So I’ve cut her from my life. It hurts, it feels like the worst break up but I know it’s what’s best for my mental health. I don’t want negativity around my life and I cannot justify continuing this friendship. It helps to watch videos like this and mentally process it 💕
Omg Nani….how are you doing? I literally just went through the same. Best friend of 20 years. Like reflecting is hard, and I’m like damn I can’t believe it. And then reflecting more like damn, our connection was unsustainable.
I've outgrown so many friends...the funny thing is, they're usually the ones who end the friendship first because they were mad at me for something and couldn't just talk to me about it for whatever reason. 🤷♀️
I’ve had a similar situation it just happened yesterday then I explained and then they understood and now we are back but they also cut off one of my friends for the same thing, and one of the girl is always questioning things and I don’t like it and I feel stressed cuz since they cutt off one of my friends i have to give them both attention but It’s just so confusing I really wanna distance myself from the other friend group that cutt me off well one person really. What would you do in this situation
@@praisesade Trust me girl, same thing happened to me. The only real way to feel happy again is to do what your heart tells you to do. Sure, it might hurt some people but if you aren't happy you can't make anyone else happy either :/
getting rid of old friends sometimes is good for your emotional health so you can move forward with you side hustle and get ready to embrace the status of being a future side hustle millionaire. Agree?
Cut off two toxic friends. They would always be so rude and then call it joking. And then love-bomb me. Narcissistic abuse cycle...I guess that’s why I stayed for so long. But I decided that I had enough and confronted them, and then they gaslighted me... And now they’re spreading rumors about me. But I shouldn’t be caring about the opinions of ppl who have been committed to misunderstanding me from day 1, I suppose. Really thankful for the real friends in my life and videos like this one, they help me so much. Thank you 💛
OMG SAME. Theres this one kid in the friend group who would always shit on me and then just say it was a joke when it was obviously a stab at me. And then in person they act all nice at first and then become the exact same way as before. We had already kicked him out of the group but the others just kept letting him back in. According to them, “toxicity is a form of entertainment” and they would get everyone to fight and beef with each other just to be entertained. Thats when I realized every single one of them was toxic. I know they talk shit about me a lot, but I’ve learned how to keep those opinions away and just stay in my own lane. I just keep the toxicity away from me and stick with my REAL friends. I feel you💯
I just left after I realized I was just a listener to her problems she’s never going to fix....I blocked her without explanation because how do you explain to someone after listening to them for years that you’ve outgrown them you love them but they’re becoming toxic for you to be around.... at first I told her I needed a break then she wouldn’t allow me the full break so I blocked her after listening to the problems she has that she won’t fix when I tried in the past to tell her constructive criticism she said she needed me to support her instead of giving advice I told her I’m not a Yes type of person to agree...it’s not that I wasn’t supporting her it was I wasn’t agreeing with her and allowing her to keep making the mistakes without saying a word.....I’m not used to having friends who aren’t strong or smart for someone to keep messing with the same person and the person emotionally abuses them for them to continue to mess with them to ultimately complain again drives me insane so therefore I’m not putting myself out there to listen to her BS every time without input.....I personally don’t have that many issues so to worry about other people’s stuff is insane
GIRL literally me right now!!!!!!!! Its so frustrating and so hard to explain this to your friend but its just getting draining at this point i cant do it anymore 🥺
Girl we must have had the same damn friend. They want fans, not friends. They also need a therapist but don’t want any life changing advice. It’s exhausting
I feel the same way .. on the phone atleast 2 hrs sometimes & we don’t even spend a good 15 mins talking about me ( which my life is pretty boring ) but still I’m not an emotional dump . I can’t deal with the back & forth . If she wants to stay in toxicity that’s her choice & fine but I don’t wanna hear about it . I’m not perfect and I made mistakes dealing with guys I shouldn’t but I don’t just CONFORM to just ANYTHING a guy WANTS Just to say I HAVE A MAN . Guys are a priority to her while They’re the LAST thing on my list . Two big differences there
The exact same thing is happening to me right now!! I am a very emotional person and also empathetic so i take things to heart sometimes when i truly care about someone but then it effects my emotional being negatively when it's done too much so it's best to not be in environments with people who constantly train you mentally and emotionally because they are not fixing their own issues and not letting anyone help them either just sharing the same problems over and over again and again it's so upsetting and exhausting they don't understand how we feel because they think about themselves when they share their business over and over again it's like they're addicted to pain drama depression and complaining instead of taking action and cutting toxic people off their life once and for all but they don't do it instead they want to have listeners to their issues who won't do anything other than listen support and be there for them constantly no matter what and no matter how it makes them feel i think these people don't really understand that there's a limit to the amount of emotional baggage someone can accept in friendships yes close friends should be listeners and to support each other but it doesn't mean it is okay to overdo it then it's like being an emotional punching bag of someone it can also create second hand traumas if the person talking about traumatizing experiences all the time they don't realize it's becoming unhealthy when it's done too much.. I know that we all share negative experiences with our best and close friends including me but i for example take the advice from people who really care and wanna help me if i need it and in general i do something positive about it like saying thank you, i appreciate that, i will take care of myself now, you're right this person is not good for me and not treating me right now i have the strength and reassurance i need to confront him or her or leave or consider leaving or distance myself from this person so thanks for all the advice and support now I'll handle it by myself from here or I'll think about it some more.. Most of the time i stop myself from talking too much about traumas and toxicity unless it's not bringing me much negativity anymore and im not very stressed about it just talking and remembering about something for awhile.. But them? It's like they feeding themselves with drama and others too!! That's too much shit to handle... We have our own business to handle and deal with no need to make it a double trouble... I don't really want to leave two of these friends but seems like the friendship is mostly based of making me their personal listener and therapist not good.. I like to be a listener but not when they share huge traumas and violence crimes they constantly experience with me from toxic people i tried to help them so much nothing changes.. They won't even report it.. What in the world is the point of talking about such things only? These are serious cases and issues which needs to be addressed and solved not just discussed all the time?! These are not good topics for constant discussions and conversations these needs to be helped and reported immediately instead.. :/
Yeah I’m scared to do this and I’ve been friends with them for 10+ years but it’s been long overdue to cut them off and I’m slowly distancing myself. At this time I don’t feel at peace whenever I’m around them I feel drained out and unhappy. Scared to say how I feel towards them. And I’m just simply ready for new beginnings and new friends at this point. I’ve put up with so much but I think enough is enough.
LEt them go girl, leave the group chat too. You'll feel so much better down the road now that your nervous system is free from the anxiety of having to deal with them.
@@AshtasticAcrobat definitely I cut them off around December 18th on the night of that.... 😅 and I was disrespected that night especially with other people I barely knew at a restaurant and I said “okay we can stop being friends” and so I got up and left the table and said bye. It was such a huge transitioning for me.... yet a lonely one. Because I never really had true friends which I realized cause they never respected me, only saw me as someone to tolerate and just seemed to always have my feelings devalued which hurt me because Why do that to me yunno? I never deserved that treatment.
I really struggle with cutting people off because i'm a huge people pleaser and want to make everybody happy and as Libra we are very loyal people especially when you have a friendship that's over 5/6 years long it seems harsh but it's the right thing to do not everyone can be lifelong friends.
So i feel like pushing a wall when talking to this person, I don’t have a desire or passion it’s out off me and I keep trying because am loyal. What is weird to me is that the change that I have made meaning decided to drift away slowly and hardly return calls. Why do I feel disengaged, no passion to talk to the individual or the conversation does not flow? What does this mean?
Everyone on this earth goes through this! Especially woman! I rather be around quality girls and than ones who complain, gossip and always act down! Or don’t have the funds to do things but lie and say they do and come up with excuses as to why they can’t go somewhere
I’m contemplating on letting my best friend go.. now I’m watching YT vids to make me feel better about doing it and HOW I should do it. Ghosting seems very rude esp since it’s been about 10 years but my issue is that she ghosts me. So maybe I shouldn’t have to explain anything to her. But going that level of pettiness doesn’t sit right with me either.
I got close to this friend during a low time in my life, where she really supported me. While I went to therapy, travelled and really felt like I changed as a person, I don't think she did. We stared to argue more because now I wouldn't bow down to her. Her actions towards me started to bother me (like being mad at me for not joining her to some events). After hearing myself justify to another friend that I was going to spend time with her because "she was there for me when I was low", I realised that I didn't like her as a friend, but I was keeping the friendship as a favour. Sad as hell, so I ended it
I had very similar situation, my friend was there for me and my kids through an awful divorce, she gave me alot of helpful advice that I needed. Then after the divorce her advice continued, all the time, unsolicited advice that was bad advice like don't buy a house, don't visit my elderly parents that need help, cut off my oldest son when he was in a dark place, the list goes on. She would get irritated with me when I didn't take her advice. I'm cutting her off, she became controlling. I will always be grateful for her help but like someone else said, some friends are for a season and a reason.
I know this is an old video, but I just kind of "broke up" with a group of friends and I honestly feel like it's something I should've done a long time ago. They would often invalidate or dismiss my feelings. After I told them how they came across as dismissive, one of them literally said "you're overreacting". That was the only motivation I needed to leave the group chat. They then decided to add me back, apparently not knowing I could see the messages they sent after I left the first time. It was just them laughing at me leaving and once again dismissing my feelings, acting like they'd done nothing wrong.
Have you been feeling better? I want to know, because I am also outgrowing a friendship group. I remember that last year I fit in with them. Fast forward to now, we don’t click anymore. But the worst thing is that.. they are in my class. So it’s hard to get away from them.
🎯 I needed this today... I am literally breaking away from a friend of 11 yrs. I feel myself outgrowing her. She triggers me so I know it’s time... I’m allowing God to work this out cos I know it’s for my highest good... I’m just fearful I won’t have that girlfriend to talk to about girl stuff.... I know God will send me someone to meet my level... I just need patience.... thanks for the video 😊
This is where I'm at with someone. When we talk, there is nothing to talk about besides people that we once knew, who are no longer in my life. Inrelaoze that I didnt want to sot on the phone amd gossip about the "old times". Its complicated with this old friend b/c ahe is incarcerated and so she tries to cling to me. I get it- she doesn't want to lose anyone. I feel for her, but I've been on a self love journey and as I look back on our relationship before she ended up where she is at, I see that there were other times it was evident we grew apart, but we clung due to history I guess. Besides, I realize was unhealthy patterns like manipulation,taking on some of her unhealthy traits, her violating trust, taking me for granted, etc. I kinda like I ignored signs from the get go, but due to codependency issues, ignored them. I'm trying to stick to my boundaries, as this person keeps calling but it makes me feel like she is stepping on my boundary to disconnect from her. She keeps saying how sad she is, that she wants to be friends for life, but I am no longer invested. The guilt is tough though. Oh amd this is a.person that I've known since 14. We're 31 now, but she has been locked up since 23. I've done alot of changing since then.
This is exactly how I’ve felt and I had enough. Blew up on her and now we don’t talk. I couldn’t do it another way because she never listens or understands. You know it’s time when you don’t want to talk,text, answer the phone or hang out.
@@haley2121 I’m thinking of doing it tomorrow kind of scared lmao and we are in the same form and I sit next to her in a lesson so it’s gonna be a bit awkward
Chilufya Mulenga - it’s going to have it’s downsides at first but it’s really great you’re doing what’s best for your health. I’m wishing you good luck, I hope it goes well💙💙
honestly they were my bestfriends and they made me so happy. after a while they started leaving me out and i found out they made transphobic remarks. i was really upset and after i confronted them they got mad at me for “not taking a joke.” i cut them off and im happier now :)
Are we friends because we are neighbors or are we friends because we’re friends- PERSPECTIVE 🤔 I say : Reasons Seasons Blessings Lessons Life time We must learn to compartmentalize , and stop being in denial about the ppl we have in life. History doesn’t = longevity.
Well if she is making ur life hard or u are not just giving with her anymore then u need to but her off and I know how scary it is I had to cut off two girls at once and it was scary cuz at the end of the day I thought I would be lonely but I did it because I thought about all the night I tried because of them or the "jokes" they made about me or the things they did behind my back and it hit me that it was happy before I was friends with them I can be happy without them so I did it and I may not know ur situation but all I have to say is u can do it and hope u the best👍🏾.
let go girl i just let go of one RIGHT NOW i went to a video cause i needed to stop this relationship just let go girl your gonna feel a lot better my relation ship with her was realllyyyyy baddd she called me names on which i wasnt
I learned that sometimes you gotta quit being a friend for a person to realize they had a friend. If you looking for a friend to lie to you when you doing fuck shit that ain't me. If you looking for someone to not hold you accountable for your actions that aint me. I had to release a narcissist who I literally just found out they had hidden I'll feelings about me.I swear I tried so hard not to let this friend go but they just handed me the scissors so Im over putting effort in and moving on changed the number blocked them yup I definitely overstayed my welcome in that friendship but one thing about a cancer when we done we DONE!!!!!!✌🖕🙌🙌💅💅💪💪💪🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️
Thank you for this video, have felt so unbelievably lonely after moving on from bad friendships but your video helps me remind me there is light at the end of the tunnel x x
exactly what I needed. Some things were tough to swallow but overall, you've really made my day much easier. It's insane because right now, we're on different paths and I have NOTHING in common with this person anymore. That's why I want to let the friendship go. But thinking about the entire friendship, she's constantly belittled me and was never happy for my success in life. Everyone else was always so much more important than I was and when I brought it up in a non confrontational manner, she escalated the situation completely. Telling me I have no right to be hurt and that it's all in my head. recently she told me something positive that happened in her life and I couldn't even fake being happy for her. After all the shit she put me through, unbeknownst to her, I literally just couldn't give a damn. It opened my eyes to the fact that she has no place in my life but still I almost didn't want to realize it. Letting go is so hard even though there's no reason for YOU to let anyone treat you like shit. Y'all are worth so much more than a 'friendship' that drains your life. Everyone deserves to be respected. And even if this person is your only friend or if every friend you have is exactly like this person, dump them. Get rid of them. You're losing nothing. Because you're alone in all of this anyways. And when these people are present in your life, you're not allowing the room to let other, much better people into it. it's probably hard but the fact that there's a video with so many comments on it, means that many people feel this way and many people had to let go. You're never alone. And it may feel like shit right now but it'll have to get worse before it gets so so much better. Hold tight, y'all. You deserve better.
Yeah what is with so called best friends making you less priority than a stranger in the street. They will even ditch you for a coworker or associates. Everyone else more important than me
In college now. My bff is annoyed I don't want to try any type of drug, get a tattoo, or get drunk a lot. I don't judge her for doing that stuff, but she's over me being a goody-two-shoes. It sucks but I want to be with someone who will be fine with me the way I am.
I’ve had some trouble with cutting someone off but realizing that I’ve grown and they haven’t Really helped. This vid helped me really solidify the fact that I have 8 real friends and honestly that is enough for me.
2 1/2 of a friend over because she was manipulative and toxic and can never admit when she's wrong and lied about the amount of money I gave her I'm just over it and I'm so happy you're 20 20 show me who my real friends are and to move on with my life and that's what I'm doing
Came to this after new year’s 2022. My husband and I ran around with the same group who really loves to get together for fun drinking afternoons/weekends. And it was fun for us for awhile, but we’ve started to outgrow it. I’m not an alcoholic by any means, but I’m the person who once I start, I don’t stop. More of an addictive personality and why I never tried smoking or any other vices. I’ll be 29 this year and I want this year to be a stepping stone for becoming my best self for my husband and three boys in the next phase of life, which means cutting drinking a lot or completely. It’s not good for me and as a health coach, I know it’s not getting me anywhere good in life to get drunk and be hungover on the weekends. I want so much more for myself and the family I have, so it will probably mean outgrowing the friends we have. There are other reasons such as petty drama but not drinking and not being able to be around it will be the catalyst to having to move on from all of the friends I do have close ties to. Thank you for the video! ❤️
Just came across this video and it really resonated.. I had a friend that I cut off a little while ago.. I realised I was forcing our friendship to work even though we were different and i had outgrown her but i felt like i couldn't let go because of the history etc
This hit me right in the feels. I’ve been outgrowing friends. I wish I would have seen this video a long time ago. I love the message. It’s okay to grow past people. By saying you’ll be best friends forever is really lying to yourself. People change, go down different life paths, and that’s completely okay! I think it’s more healthy to realize you had some good times and you’ll find other people. My friend and I were friends for about half my life. Things felt forced for the last 2 years. I couldn’t put my finger on it. And one day someone told me exactly what you posted here. “People outgrow each other”. And guess what? That day I made a new friend. Embrace change! It feels refreshing and good!
This is exactly what I am going through you literally speaking my path. So I had this friend for a long time there were some discussion we had with people that are her friends but I kind of knew them, during the conversation the people did not take what I said in a wrong way only “my friend” did but keep in mine I talk to this person every week vs the other people I don’t talk what’s is ever, long story short she told them behind my back end did not call me to tell me what she felt about the conversation completely ignored me and spoke to them about me. She came in and apologized and I truly forgave her, However I don’t have the passion, the heart to talk and be passionate. It’s almost forced and I feels like am pushing a wall.
Wow this really hit me. You said a lot of things I really needed to hear. I have had a best friend from middle school and I feel like we are growing apart. I still have a lot of love for her but our conversations are starting to become stale. I don’t know how to tell her because she feels that we are so close. I feel that in this season of life she needs me more than I need her. I am still debating though because we do have a really good time together.
I ‘had’ a bestfriend for 13 years loads of ups and downs! She always spilled my secrets and got me into sh**t most of the time! Best thing I’ve done is to drift away! Why would you do this to your ‘bestfriend’ she was so false can’t believe I fell for it every time and made myself look a fool ! Never again!!! 🙄
Fax yo all my “homies and my real ones” were always just getting me into beef and trying to start shit up. I just got fed up and left, and I’m fixing myself because I had been influenced by them a lot in a bad way💯
@@tushar8174 Yessss 🙌🏼 ! You have to do what’s best for yourself ! It’s so toxic it drains you😖 some people that don’t even know you can have better intentions . Get out while you can better people will come along and if not I’d rather be alone without knowing sticking knifes in my back X
I'm watching this now and lately I've been feeling off and back and forth . A couple of weeks I stopped talking to this one friend and i felt fine .just a day or two I answered her call and I just felt like how I felt about the reason for why I distanced myself from her and I have been going back and forth with myself and I'm like yeaaaaa I just don't feel like I want to listen and entertain the toxic shit anymore . I'm trying to better my environment and mental health and all of that good stuff and do better as well and I just feel mad off and not myself after listening and or texting her about things that does not concern me or anything of that nature and I'm just altogether tired . So I now know what to do and I know this is my complete confirmation 💞
Thank you I always tell myself that oh I need to put the effort cause I don't want to take my friends for granted but at the end of the day I see that like they don't care like I do. I want a real best friend like u know cause sometimes I get clingy.... anyway
I’m going through releasing old friendships now. It’s interesting because over the corse of years more things have been exposed about these friends., I’ve been sitting back observing and figuring out how I want to move forward., it’s like this year everyone really showed me why I’ve been contemplating on removing myself from friendships. I realized I didn’t need nor want a farewell conversation or discuss why I’m not interested in the friendship. I don’t find it immature at all., people know what they do., I’m grown now I’m a mom a wife., and the drama and indirect moments., I’m over it., it’s just ironic all the ones I’ve decided to move forward from has all hit me up this week. I’m very unmoved by it.
I related so much to everything you said you have no idea! I've been going through this too... I was best friends with someone on and off for 12 years. when you're friends with someone for that long and you start growing up you start noticing if you're meant to be long-life friends or if it's temporary. my way of dealing with it was kinda growing into the distance, I always felt that I was trying so hard to make it work and I bet she felt the same way too... but even though we could never meet in the middle. it's been exactly six months since we talked or met, and your speech made me realize more that I want this distance, I let it grow because I know it's for the best. I just wanna say if someone would read this... it's going to be ok, learn to translate your own energies and you would know what and who feels just right. that's something I remind myself of everyday, it' all about how you feel inside.
I agree. Everything you said was on point. 💯 people change. My best friend got really superficial and got very toxic. I feel liberated now. It was also a decade for me. And, that best friend also betrayed me multiple times and acts like it’s not a big deal.
I have a friend I’ve been friends with for over 40 years! I think the last 15 or 20 years has actually been forced. Believe it or not! I felt like I needed to continue this relationship because of loyalty. I’m finally coming into myself. And realizing I don’t need to hold onto relationships that are not serving me. That causes me pain and sorrow instead of joy and happiness.
i just cut off one of my close friends of 6 years. i'm upset because of all our future plans but also relieved, because we weren't compatible anymore, we couldn't understand each other anymore. we had a fight yesterday, she took a day break, i realised i couldn't be bothered to try to fix it this time, it was the same cycle of us not meshing. not talking for a day made me realise, i don't need her in my life, i just got used to her being there. she came back today. i tried to sort out this fight, & all the issues, like communication, for one last time, it just caused another fight, she said she wanted another break, i said i wanted it to end for good. i've blocked her. i don't know if i should block her on all my socials or not. i don't know what to do now. sorry for the rant lol
I've been through the same thing. I wrote a song about toxic friendships and the feelings you go through when you get let down by a close friend. it’s called friend and my name is Jolina if you want to hear it on Spotify (or wherever you listen to music). maybe the song can help you heal the way it helped me. I think you're going to relate to the lyrics. YOU DESERVE BETTER.
I recently cut off a friend off 11 years because as we are both 29 now, he is still 21 mentally. His obnoxious nature and smart comments were tolerated when we were 19 but at 29 I wasn't having none of it. I moved into my own place 2 years ago, got engaged this year and I'm planning my wedding while he's still living with his parents who do everything for him. Although he was one of my most loyal friends, our lives in 2020 are heading in two different directions. I'm a guy and I used to think only girls went through this but this affects guys too.
Sounds like a friend of mine who is toxic. Get so sick of the sarcastic jokes and insults disguised as jokes. We are in our 40s so this is very sad and childish
I think I might be scared to be alone after cutting of my toxic friends, and this is holding me back to do the cut :/ during the pandemic it might be really hard to get to know new people...
Im in the same situation! I cut of some of my toxic friends so now I have basically no one to talk to at all :/ But i picked up some hobbies along the way which has helped me pass time! My advice is to work on yourself and find hobbies, gradually text this person less and less until you barely text anymore.
I was mad at my friend because she was treating me like she was acting embarrassed to be around me when certain people were around. I talked to her about it and she said it’s because she has other friends. But that didn’t give her an excuse to treat me like she was embarrassed to be around me or not talk to me when I was present. I distanced myself from her and she was the one who ended the friendship. Now she’s bullying me and turning people against me. She’s also hanging around my bullies. She’s trying to make me feel quilty for reasons I don’t know of. But I’m so glad we’re not friends anymore cause her true identity came to the light.
Yeah, I wouldn't say that ghosting is an option because it can really hurt the other person, especially if they're still there for you. I've been ghosted that way and to this day I feel bad about it. When I realized I should stop trying to reach back, and just ghosted her back, the other person made me the bad person in the situation, it was awful. Anyways... I wish I had known about friendships breakups and just how you and your friends might outgrow each other sooner, maybe I would've dealt with the ghosting and other situations better. Great video!
"I don't really know the purpose of this video" girl this video has so much purpose trust me. I feel like I really needed to hear that it is ok to outgrow people.
I totally resonate with everything you’re saying ! I transferred universities and I had to deal with managing friends from two different universities and figuring things out with my high school friends! I’m a Capricorn so I relate but I also might be a little bit more ok with cutting people off than the average aquarius (not sure) My aquarius best friend had a huge friend group split and she said “I miss the memories but I don’t miss the person/people” - that sounds kinda like what you’re saying! Much love ❤️❤️❤️
Like these videos and love to see more of this kind of video! Also have you talked about your love life at all? 👀 I haven’t seen all of your vids but I think I don’t here you ever give details about your love life. Which is totally valid, I’m just curious 🧐📝👀
I have been in this friendship for 6 year (since middle school ) This girl always brought me down and made herself look like the victim. But still, I consider her my friend. (Because I believed her as an idiot) After 3 years. I started opening up to my cousin (we are like siblings) about all the hurtful things she had told me. She advised me to get away from her. Since then, not only her but literally everyone that I trust and love, have told me to erase her from my life. At some point I was so bad (mentally) that my mom even started tearing up (my mother doesn’t cry easily) Right now. As I would go to university, is my chance to make a fresh start. I have stopped texting her and now (while watching these type of videos) It helps me realize that the victim was me all along. 🙃
I think friendship breakups is so underrated and in fact so much more painful than a romantic one I don’t know why very few talk about it I recently cut ties with my best friend because it has to be done to grow . I keep blaming myself even though its not my fault even though I tried so much to fix it but nothing helps when you two just outgrowing from each other trying to fix it just make it 10x more toxic because obviously you two are not on the same page anymore . I just keep remembering our memories with every song we listened to and every meal we had together its just so heartbreaking Although few months passed already i still having hard time moving on I think its just take time depending on the kind of connection you had with them it’s important to be patient and take your time reflecting on everything and accepting eventually
Totally feel you. The person I'm currently trying to let go has done me dirty three times. I was dumb enough and let her do the same thing to me three times... Oof. We used to be besties. Perfect match. Dream team. But early 2022 she reached out to me again, repeating her pattern (and mine). I gave her a final chance, believing she had changed. But she clearly showed me nothing has fkn changed, she's still doing the same things, repeating the same patterns, won't learn from her mistakes. And I no longer want to run after a person, who's dragging me and everyone around them down. Still learning to get over her. I guess it just takes time to heal the wound depending on how deeply you were emotionally attached to them.
Yes, its your life - own it! In the process of doing this after a "friend" group cast a blind eye to the fact that one of them bullied me. Let them know I'm not trying to maintain those connections. They came around. But it was way too much effort on my part for me to really feel like they're real ones. Word to the wise/PSA to you and every other young woman: better to not announce to strangers/the internet if you live alone or not and certainly what area. It's nobody's business and it's your safety. Be safe!
Omg long story short: an extrovert friend of mine was like always positively pushing me motivating me to do things and then I noticed she was humiliating me & one situation was like the last red flag. She accused me and made me cry and because she is not empathic at all she didn’t even reflect on what she did, said it was my fault and never apologised. And I realised: I am very sensitive; I don’t need people who are without empathy and I don’t want someone who doesn’t match my life and values. Of course she’s fun on a party but I won’t ever tell her anything close or important anymore. Sometimes it needs a Big Bang until you realise it.
Just recently I cut of my best friend that I had for over 10 years. Even tho I know that I did the right thing Im still asking myself if I did the right thing. We had great memories together but thats only because I gave so much and suggercoated everything just to make her feel better. Every time I tried to express my Feelings and issues to her she would get mad at me. We always did the things she wanted to do and went to places she wanted to go. We would only go out when she wanted to. That part shows me that it was the right decision. At other Hand she wouldnt go anywhere without me which made me think the she loves me. But that can't be it.
If they are toxic cut them out. I started thinking about what really happens when I was in contact with the so called friend. Well she was using me for information only. First she start out talking about how smart I am well butter me up which I don’t need. All in all she just wanted information. She will ask how I am doing as soon as I start saying how I am doing she has to go. I just started paying extra attention to everybody I interact with. Also she use to call to dump her problems on me I stopped listening I am not a trash can I am not a doormat.
I have a friend that I love very much, & I feel as though she’s my spirit sister. I’m very grateful for having such a unique friendship w her, & before I start there is a lot of good in her, but she is someone who can’t be in my every day life anymore.. Lately when we are done hanging out, 8/10 I feel like a POS- she knows how to con others very easily, & points out any/every flaw she can see in someone. It’s almost like a super power she has, & can see something negative a mile away. At first, it wouldn’t bother me bc I know whatever comes out of her mouth is not true but over time, it’s become to feel heavy. I’m already hard on myself as is, so it just doesn’t help. I would say I’m an average positive bean, yet I’m starting to feel held back by something attached to me. She loves to gossip, getting in fights on fb & even at the bar.. I get frequent messages on the media of others saying bad things about her or ask why she’s my friend. I love her & simply do not have to explain my love for someone so it’s like? Fuck everyone & what they think but at the same time I’m tired of it. I’m tired of getting called bitch (that’s just how she talks to others, even to her grandma), the constant texting, tagging me in meme’s on every single social media platform, the backhanded compliments, bringing me into drama I simply don’t care for, you get it... I’m just trying to chill... She’s gotten better since she’s become a mom & hasn’t drank much since having him, but I can’t go any longer than 2 weeks w/o seeing her- otherwise she gets an attitude or acts betrayed or makes me feel like I’ve done something wrong. I work full-time & have been taking 12 credit semesters while making that coin on of, so my plate is pretty full + maintaining a mending relationship w my own family. considering her son is also my Godson, this is a relationship I will always have if I want to remain connected to him. I would do anything for him... Now going back to how she has good in her, she truly does. When it’s just her & I (no one around for her so start acting mean or different), we have the greatest time together! She’s the first person to make me piss my pants laughing & she’s honestly saved me before.. I just feel stuck about this bc I’ve been working really hard on myself since I’ve been out of the hospital & been growing as a person- but lately our energy together hasn’t been matching up. I know I’m no better than anyone on this earth, but I wanna flourish during this lifetime, & it’s hard to when someone who you love makes you feel so down. SOS I’m about to change my name if she see’s this I LOVE YOU PLEASE HELP
I just ghosted them, cut them off no explanation. Talking with manipulative people will get you in their game to manipulate your emotions with words and false promises. Life is way too short. I wish them well in my heart.
Thank you for sharing your story. I decided to talk to my old high school friend. I realized we are very different because we have different life values. I respect theirs but I don’t see a future being friends with them. The other person is very toxic. I have sweet memories with them but I have grown up and the type of friends I currently have are generous and kind people I like to have in my life. I can relate to this
Thank you for sharing ❤️ that help but one thing that I learned is to give more worth with God, family, and love ones. Friends comes and go but God, family, and love ones still feels like home even if change occurs or distance separates us from them.
I had a friend who was always willing to miss work & go places for and with people they cried to me for advice about, but whenever I needed her, she couldn’t miss work. Lol 💁🏾♀️ I moved around because even though I would never throw anything I do for people in their face, it’s like dang though, “what about all of the stuff I actually did for you though” “if it’s not serving me, I’m not serving it” 🙏🏾❤️
I'm not to quick to call people my friends anymore i keep people in the acquaintance file until they prove otherwise like, passing the friendship test which is .... Not lying to me... Not being jealous of me... Not talking about me behind my back.... Not wanting me to stay where i am in life but want me and will influence me to go further in life.... And not turn a deaf ear to me if im in need .... Not being a blessing to me or sharing a blessing with me... These are true signs of a real friend !
I relate to this on such a large scale I actually dont know what to say.... I had a friend that did me SO DIRTY, and when you were talking about your friend.. I cried
I'm in a similar situation (obvs why I searched for this kind of video lol).. I have a friend that I've known for probably 15yrs now since middle school (I'm 28y/o). I recently realized after being in the panzemic and being away from people just how much I missed certain people (and how much I really didn't miss others). It was kind of a relief that I didn't see this one person for a while and when we finally were all able to link up again there were just so many instances where I realized how much of a toxic person she is like not even specifically just to me but like in general y'know? Hennyways, long story long, I've been kind of slowly quietly cutely tryna cut her off but it's been sooo hard and I feel like she's trying to make more of an effort now that were not in lockdown to see eachother and I'm just like eeuugghh what do I doo?? It's just really hard for me to be around people whos lives are always in turmoil. Yeah so.. I don't have any advice or anything of value to say hahaha just wanted to share my story!!! ty.
I honestly was just always “busy” I would tell them I was constantly working or sleeping and just never had the energy to do anything else anymore. (This actually was partially true just over exaggerated) This has worked for me.
I was cyber bullied, blacked mailed, and threaten by my ex toxic friends all the cared about themselves. They trying to break me and my fiancé up. They also did what they doing to me doing the same thing they doing to me. My fiancé and I were getting suicidal. But I have an awesome mom that help us who’s there when we need her. Abusive friends or any relationship get out of there before stuff gets worse and worse. I knew that there’s something about them I didn’t went with my own advice. So now I’m changed if people want start stuff with me I’m no longer their friend. I was in a lot of toxic relationship and friendships. I always say friends are temporary but family is forever. Don’t show fake friends your weaknesses they use it every time. I use to be big people person but now I’m not a doormat. People that bring my up are my God, fiancé, family,and my true friends. I’m not a voicemail say things to my face.
Breaking off a toxic friendship can be unbearably tough but if it helps u to feel like who you are supposed to be (your true self), without them in your life it’s worth it. I had to email a friend I had for 12 years and tell her in the email that our lives were going in different directions and that I wished her well , but felt that we should go our separate ways , and it was tough in the moment, but it was the right thing to do. It brought myself, my husband and my kids stress to see her. She talked smack when I was with her and even gave me an attitude! She wasn’t really grateful for the time I would make for her and she always wanted more, more , more time. It was unrealistic to expect someone (me) who had 3 kids, one of which was a toddler at the time, to see her multiple times a month, when we lived in separate cities, and spend more and more time with her. I did care about her. When she went through cancer, I was there for her to bring her to the hospital. I helped her at her house. When she moved , my brother and I took several hours to move her to her new place because she didn’t have a car. I was there for her when she needed me. We didn’t believe in the same things and her advice was not actually good for me!😆It’s too bad but I learned a lot from that experience. She was a coworker and it’s better to keep things professional at work and less personal before you had fully got to know someone. If she had been nicer to me , maybe things could have worked out but I didn’t like the way I felt about myself after I visited her. That was hard. It was a toxic relationship!
Some friends I cut out, others I phase out. Lately on both sides, my friend and I outgrow each other. I guess having moved to a different state from a year and coming back really did change me
Me and an old "friend" had a horrible falling out years ago due to her mental issues and I literally wiped my hands with her! Well ofcourse Social media brought us around each other again but only on social media. I won't see her in person and at first it was great to reconnect but as time went on I seen that she hasn't changed much and us having another fall out was inevitable!! Sad but it's a friendship that has expired!
Wow everything you said in this vid is spot on. Lately one of my closest friends and I have been on different wavelengths and especially because of politics. I know people say not to stop a friendship over political views but it goes beyond that. She has talked down to me and said that I'm brainwashed and twists my words around and says that I'm judgmental. I had enough and finally went off on her but I still felt like she wasn't understanding me as a friend and then she started to bring up stuff from the past to diffuse my points. Now we have both just stopped talking to each other and usually I'm the one that swallows my pride and makes up but now I don't want to do that anymore...are my feelings justified? I'd like to think yes because I've been feeling this way the past couple months.
Good morning. Happy to have just discovered your channel. Desperately needed to hear and understand these words today. I feel blessed to have "met" you. Thank you and I'm definitely excited to see any and all of your videos. Wow! 😊💜
i was really having a bad day and i’m so happy that i found this video when i did because listening and hearing you talk about your own problems but also just hearing the tons of self awareness you exude is so refreshing and just makes me feel better some how haha you also seem so relaxed and down to earth with is something i always love in people this is only the first video i’ve watched but i know i will probably love your videos!
I am in my 60's. For the first time in my life I have cut two ladies out of my life. After I discovered they were gossiping about me "nastily" it made me feel sick! But it had to be done. I have cut them out forever. Don't feel bad about moving on. Some people are not cut out to be our friends. They are just toxic messed up people. Don't feel bad. Just move on. Get busy and meet new friends. You will miss them. But it wears of.
Last night I decided I was fooling myself by trying to maintain a connection with someone I thought was my best friend since high school. We have history,yet the so called friend ghosted me a few times,said disrespectful things and was overall concerned with low vibes and did not match my wavelength. I wish him well in life. We’ve been friends for at least ten years at least I tried to be a friend
I literally just said to her “we’re done being friends, goodbye 👋” she was super mad but my other friends were the ones I would keep for life 😁 (she had been being toxic for like 5 months)
I suffered a loss and now I am outgrowing my very good friends of many years. If they were toxic who cares, goodbye. But they are great. And I'm not the easiest to be around in my sphere of grief and misery. It's never black and white.
It’s really crazy at how us as women are so quick to lose out on valuable friendships but we can deal with men and they’re crap . Certain situations I understand but most times it’s really nothing
Should you take back an ex-friend?? ruclips.net/video/XXC4Ir6-4AY/видео.html
HECK Nooooooo
NO!!!!!!!
Unless they have changed and will be a better person to you, it depends.
If they an ex-friend, it was usually for a good reason. So NO!
“some friends are for a season, some are for a reason, and some are for life”
you gotta know when people’s seasons are over
❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️
♥️
In my case it was wast for 12 seasons :/
👍
i really agree
I think sometimes being busy is the best way to drift away.
I definitely see your point! It's sometimes so easy to do that. But then I reflect on how "ghosting" has so negatively impacted our society and culture. Yes, I know that word is used mostly when dating but I have ghosted so many friends and I have been ghosted and it doesn't always feel great. I would like to find a healthy way to "uncouple" with someone friend or lover....
👍👍exactly
I agree. when I wasn’t busy in life, I found my self lonely with my best friend .. and then I got tired of putting in effort .. so I got a job, focused on school , and became productive. I continue to make efforts but I just feel like I’m holding onto nothing Rn and I’m not sure what to do
@@samperreasola wym holding nothing love
@@LuvKitKatt like I feel like I’m just staying bc we have so many memories but there’s hardly a friendship there anymore
"It's OK to distance yourself from people that don't make you feel good inside" YES! This took me far too long to realise, but it is completely true. I have a friend that I have nothing in common with, and she constantly makes me feel bad about myself, whether it's by making snide comments, putting her needs above mine, or patronising me. I've only recently realised that I am allowed to step away from her, and that's what I'm doing.
I’m beginning to realize the same. I feel rude or guilty for letting them go, but I can’t ignore how they treat me. I’m beginning to realize it’s not selfish to let go. Your comment really resonates with me because the people I’m letting go would do the same things you mentioned. Thank you💛
@@haley2121 Glad to hear that! Absolutely, you have to put yourself first in these situations! ❤️
Yeah that's what I had to do this year! I always felt this girl wasn't really my friend but I'm glad she cut me off first. Guess I was afraid to do it first but trust me life gets better when you self reflect on yourself & your friendships
Yeah what is with some friends who put their needs first and not compromise. Takes you for granted and feels because you been friends for years they can treat you any old way
Stay away from her completely. She sounds very toxic!
I’ll rather be with people who add value to me than people who just wanna say something about everything i do.
👌🏽
Same💛
This !!
Im non native,could you please what the phrase" they add value to me " means?
This!
It's so hard. I just left the group chat and no one tried to ask me what is wrong, but it was overdue. I don't fit in with them anymore. I feel like I never did.
It’s for the best, in weeks months or years time you will thank yourself for doing that, putting yourself first, trust me x
here are tips meaning this in a nice way pls dont be mean
stop hanging out at recess
less face times
less texts
got out and maybe get a job and find new people
I just did that too. Leaving that chat felt like a huge weight off me and total freedom!
I really want to do this but I’m afraid .. how did u find the courage to?
@@Nysirah6321 honestly you really just have to do it like how you just subconsciously walk. i think its good to have a mindset like will this really matter in 2-5 yrs no it wont it may seem like a big deal now but this is whats good for you let them be.
the worst thing about toxic friendship is that you think that everything is ok / you think that problem is in you. even when i realized that friendship was toxic i was scared to leave. other people made me think that i’m not worthy of good friends. remember, if someone makes you question your own worth, you should leave those people
I feel like I’m outgrowing a Bestfriend that I have had since middle school. There are times when she calls me and I’m just not in the mood to talk her and the conversations are very boring. I do also feel like I’m starting to learn my self worth, and being comfortable with the skin that I’m in and I’m trying to become a better woman. I just feel like she wants to stay stopped at the red light and I’m trying to go with the green light and bettering myself
Same
All my friends are like that too, and Im cutting them off >:) true friends WANT you to improve, to be confident and happy with yourself. If your friend seems to only like your company when you are a doormat then you need to drop her! She will only weigh you down!
Same, same!!
YES girl i feel this , how is it going for you?
Same
We were friends for more than 40yrs however when she became a grandmother she unfriended me on Facebook because I didn’t put a like on her grandchild’s photo ....if she had bothered to message me she would have found out that I was in hospital...P.S is never to late to realise you have had a fake friend
Geraldine Mckernan that’s so sad but better now than later 🙏🏽
Wow that's fucked up. It's crazy how people take likes and things so seriously.
😳
Wow I’m so sorry!
A 40 years friendship ends because of a like on fb. What a friend! You deserve better and is definitely better of without them
Don't fall for the bullshit that all friendships last forever. Some people will use your history to strengthen your relationship and others will use it to hurt you worse then your worst enemy would.
True,time to say them GOODBYE FOREVER
So true! History means nothing!
I just walk away from a friendship of 25 Years.
It is saddest I have ever done in my life .
I loved that person with all my heart ,yet I do not permit any kind of abuse any longer.
Most friendship r like shit!
I just realized my Husband is my only real true friend
Same here, I hear ya x x x
Be careful that one too
That’s what my mom always says.... I understand
100% relate to this
@@naimaali1947 let her have her moment geez 😫
So for me I was growing & she wasn’t. 6 years later she was the same person. so I just cut her off. It was redundant & annoying. I didn’t want to have to put her in her place every time we talked so I walked. She wasn’t worth the time & energy.
Asia orWhatever I’m going through this too!!!
I hate when people say this. You didnt put your friend on
@@LaDiiGiggleZ718 wdym?
Same.
i just realised i have no real friends
It’s ok u will one day. Just SNIP SNIP
Me too 😔
aha ha ha me too (ps i’m not laughing •_•)
edit: one month one and from watching your videos i’ve kind of just created my own friend group and i suppose i’m quite happy, all are lovely girls and i’m very grateful now
of course nothing is perfect and sometimes i worry it everything is going okay and things are still stable but i just need to remind myself to go with the flow and if anything is wrung then to talk with my friends because they may even be feeling the same !
:))
Me too, my current ”best friends” are hanging out without me :)
I give people room to grow & be who they are that’s why we were friends for 6 years. But when your showing your friends a level of respect & they are unable to rise to the occasion & reciprocate it then it’s time to move on. We’re no longer in our 20’s were in our early 30’s there’s no excuse for that type of behavior. Frankly there’s nothing to explain or discuss. When people show u who they are believe them🤷🏽♀️
👌
EXACTLY. WE are too old to be marinating in "girl gangs" that dont serve us. We arent in high school anymore.
Absolutely!
I have outgrown my best friend of many years. I definitely gave her many chances I overlooked a lot of things she’d do that I normally wouldn’t tolerate from anyone else. I finally brought it up to her and expressed what I was feeling. She didn’t take accountability and basically continued the negative behavior. So I’ve cut her from my life. It hurts, it feels like the worst break up but I know it’s what’s best for my mental health. I don’t want negativity around my life and I cannot justify continuing this friendship. It helps to watch videos like this and mentally process it 💕
Yeah!!
Omg Nani….how are you doing? I literally just went through the same. Best friend of 20 years. Like reflecting is hard, and I’m like damn I can’t believe it. And then reflecting more like damn, our connection was unsustainable.
This is what I’m going through with a 8 year EX friend
I've outgrown so many friends...the funny thing is, they're usually the ones who end the friendship first because they were mad at me for something and couldn't just talk to me about it for whatever reason. 🤷♀️
Trust me I've been there
I’ve had a similar situation it just happened yesterday then I explained and then they understood and now we are back but they also cut off one of my friends for the same thing, and one of the girl is always questioning things and I don’t like it and I feel stressed cuz since they cutt off one of my friends i have to give them both attention but It’s just so confusing I really wanna distance myself from the other friend group that cutt me off well one person really. What would you do in this situation
@@praisesade Trust me girl, same thing happened to me. The only real way to feel happy again is to do what your heart tells you to do. Sure, it might hurt some people but if you aren't happy you can't make anyone else happy either :/
THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!
Relate
No reason to entertain unwanted company
j vall true
getting rid of old friends sometimes is good for your emotional health so you can move forward with you side hustle and get ready to embrace the status of being a future side hustle millionaire. Agree?
Am on this journey
Yess🙏🏾
Lol!
Period
Agree!
Cut off two toxic friends. They would always be so rude and then call it joking. And then love-bomb me. Narcissistic abuse cycle...I guess that’s why I stayed for so long. But I decided that I had enough and confronted them, and then they gaslighted me... And now they’re spreading rumors about me. But I shouldn’t be caring about the opinions of ppl who have been committed to misunderstanding me from day 1, I suppose. Really thankful for the real friends in my life and videos like this one, they help me so much. Thank you 💛
Yeah my friend loves bombs then makes rude comments disguised as jokes. Love bombing then back to silent treatment. Everything is there way or no way.
@@back2the80s can relate 100%. You deserve better, and do not feel guilty for leaving if you want to 💗
OMG SAME. Theres this one kid in the friend group who would always shit on me and then just say it was a joke when it was obviously a stab at me. And then in person they act all nice at first and then become the exact same way as before. We had already kicked him out of the group but the others just kept letting him back in. According to them, “toxicity is a form of entertainment” and they would get everyone to fight and beef with each other just to be entertained. Thats when I realized every single one of them was toxic. I know they talk shit about me a lot, but I’ve learned how to keep those opinions away and just stay in my own lane. I just keep the toxicity away from me and stick with my REAL friends. I feel you💯
It’s more so cutting off frenemies or people who only hit you up when they need you. Ignoring them causes more drama I feel
Ignoring does, that’s why you have to block them if you feel you can’t have a rational convo with them about it
I just left after I realized I was just a listener to her problems she’s never going to fix....I blocked her without explanation because how do you explain to someone after listening to them for years that you’ve outgrown them you love them but they’re becoming toxic for you to be around.... at first I told her I needed a break then she wouldn’t allow me the full break so I blocked her after listening to the problems she has that she won’t fix when I tried in the past to tell her constructive criticism she said she needed me to support her instead of giving advice I told her I’m not a Yes type of person to agree...it’s not that I wasn’t supporting her it was I wasn’t agreeing with her and allowing her to keep making the mistakes without saying a word.....I’m not used to having friends who aren’t strong or smart for someone to keep messing with the same person and the person emotionally abuses them for them to continue to mess with them to ultimately complain again drives me insane so therefore I’m not putting myself out there to listen to her BS every time without input.....I personally don’t have that many issues so to worry about other people’s stuff is insane
GIRL literally me right now!!!!!!!! Its so frustrating and so hard to explain this to your friend but its just getting draining at this point i cant do it anymore 🥺
Girl we must have had the same damn friend. They want fans, not friends. They also need a therapist but don’t want any life changing advice. It’s exhausting
I feel the same way .. on the phone atleast 2 hrs sometimes & we don’t even spend a good 15 mins talking about me ( which my life is pretty boring ) but still I’m not an emotional dump . I can’t deal with the back & forth . If she wants to stay in toxicity that’s her choice & fine but I don’t wanna hear about it . I’m not perfect and I made mistakes dealing with guys I shouldn’t but I don’t just CONFORM to just ANYTHING a guy WANTS Just to say I HAVE A MAN . Guys are a priority to her while They’re the LAST thing on my list . Two big differences there
The exact same thing is happening to me right now!! I am a very emotional person and also empathetic so i take things to heart sometimes when i truly care about someone but then it effects my emotional being negatively when it's done too much so it's best to not be in environments with people who constantly train you mentally and emotionally because they are not fixing their own issues and not letting anyone help them either just sharing the same problems over and over again and again it's so upsetting and exhausting they don't understand how we feel because they think about themselves when they share their business over and over again it's like they're addicted to pain drama depression and complaining instead of taking action and cutting toxic people off their life once and for all but they don't do it instead they want to have listeners to their issues who won't do anything other than listen support and be there for them constantly no matter what and no matter how it makes them feel i think these people don't really understand that there's a limit to the amount of emotional baggage someone can accept in friendships yes close friends should be listeners and to support each other but it doesn't mean it is okay to overdo it then it's like being an emotional punching bag of someone it can also create second hand traumas if the person talking about traumatizing experiences all the time they don't realize it's becoming unhealthy when it's done too much.. I know that we all share negative experiences with our best and close friends including me but i for example take the advice from people who really care and wanna help me if i need it and in general i do something positive about it like saying thank you, i appreciate that, i will take care of myself now, you're right this person is not good for me and not treating me right now i have the strength and reassurance i need to confront him or her or leave or consider leaving or distance myself from this person so thanks for all the advice and support now I'll handle it by myself from here or I'll think about it some more.. Most of the time i stop myself from talking too much about traumas and toxicity unless it's not bringing me much negativity anymore and im not very stressed about it just talking and remembering about something for awhile.. But them? It's like they feeding themselves with drama and others too!! That's too much shit to handle... We have our own business to handle and deal with no need to make it a double trouble... I don't really want to leave two of these friends but seems like the friendship is mostly based of making me their personal listener and therapist not good.. I like to be a listener but not when they share huge traumas and violence crimes they constantly experience with me from toxic people i tried to help them so much nothing changes.. They won't even report it.. What in the world is the point of talking about such things only? These are serious cases and issues which needs to be addressed and solved not just discussed all the time?! These are not good topics for constant discussions and conversations these needs to be helped and reported immediately instead.. :/
@@spookywitch0x0 I definitely feel you !!! It’s sad . Specially when you’re a empath .
Yeah I’m scared to do this and I’ve been friends with them for 10+ years but it’s been long overdue to cut them off and I’m slowly distancing myself. At this time I don’t feel at peace whenever I’m around them I feel drained out and unhappy. Scared to say how I feel towards them. And I’m just simply ready for new beginnings and new friends at this point. I’ve put up with so much but I think enough is enough.
how is it going for you now
@@amberlyspice ... still healing. 😔 still hurting but I’m getting better.
@@jasmineconnally hope it’s gotten better & wishing you luck on your healing journey
LEt them go girl, leave the group chat too. You'll feel so much better down the road now that your nervous system is free from the anxiety of having to deal with them.
@@AshtasticAcrobat definitely I cut them off around December 18th on the night of that.... 😅 and I was disrespected that night especially with other people I barely knew at a restaurant and I said “okay we can stop being friends” and so I got up and left the table and said bye. It was such a huge transitioning for me.... yet a lonely one. Because I never really had true friends which I realized cause they never respected me, only saw me as someone to tolerate and just seemed to always have my feelings devalued which hurt me because Why do that to me yunno? I never deserved that treatment.
I really struggle with cutting people off because i'm a huge people pleaser and want to make everybody happy and as Libra we are very loyal people especially when you have a friendship that's over 5/6 years long it seems harsh but it's the right thing to do not everyone can be lifelong friends.
I’m a Libra too and I feel like I need to cut someone off but I’m already feeling guilty about it and I haven’t even done it yey
Yet I mean
So i feel like pushing a wall when talking to this person, I don’t have a desire or passion it’s out off me and I keep trying because am loyal. What is weird to me is that the change that I have made meaning decided to drift away slowly and hardly return calls. Why do I feel disengaged, no passion to talk to the individual or the conversation does not flow? What does this mean?
💯💯💯💯
I’m a Gemini and I deal with the same thing ! I be tryna see the good in people knowing they aren’t good for me
Everyone on this earth goes through this! Especially woman! I rather be around quality girls and than ones who complain, gossip and always act down! Or don’t have the funds to do things but lie and say they do and come up with excuses as to why they can’t go somewhere
I’m contemplating on letting my best friend go.. now I’m watching YT vids to make me feel better about doing it and HOW I should do it. Ghosting seems very rude esp since it’s been about 10 years but my issue is that she ghosts me. So maybe I shouldn’t have to explain anything to her. But going that level of pettiness doesn’t sit right with me either.
I got close to this friend during a low time in my life, where she really supported me. While I went to therapy, travelled and really felt like I changed as a person, I don't think she did. We stared to argue more because now I wouldn't bow down to her. Her actions towards me started to bother me (like being mad at me for not joining her to some events). After hearing myself justify to another friend that I was going to spend time with her because "she was there for me when I was low", I realised that I didn't like her as a friend, but I was keeping the friendship as a favour. Sad as hell, so I ended it
I had very similar situation, my friend was there for me and my kids through an awful divorce, she gave me alot of helpful advice that I needed. Then after the divorce her advice continued, all the time, unsolicited advice that was bad advice like don't buy a house, don't visit my elderly parents that need help, cut off my oldest son when he was in a dark place, the list goes on. She would get irritated with me when I didn't take her advice. I'm cutting her off, she became controlling. I will always be grateful for her help but like someone else said, some friends are for a season and a reason.
I know this is an old video, but I just kind of "broke up" with a group of friends and I honestly feel like it's something I should've done a long time ago. They would often invalidate or dismiss my feelings. After I told them how they came across as dismissive, one of them literally said "you're overreacting".
That was the only motivation I needed to leave the group chat. They then decided to add me back, apparently not knowing I could see the messages they sent after I left the first time. It was just them laughing at me leaving and once again dismissing my feelings, acting like they'd done nothing wrong.
Have you been feeling better? I want to know, because I am also outgrowing a friendship group. I remember that last year I fit in with them. Fast forward to now, we don’t click anymore. But the worst thing is that.. they are in my class. So it’s hard to get away from them.
"You always think they're your forever friend, why else would you be friends?" omg... Truth.
🎯 I needed this today... I am literally breaking away from a friend of 11 yrs. I feel myself outgrowing her. She triggers me so I know it’s time... I’m allowing God to work this out cos I know it’s for my highest good... I’m just fearful I won’t have that girlfriend to talk to about girl stuff.... I know God will send me someone to meet my level... I just need patience.... thanks for the video 😊
It’s been a week has anything changed I’m thinking of breaking it off with someone tomorrow kind of scared though lmao
@@chilufyamulenga6825 lol... nowadays u gotta do what makes u happy...Say a prayer and have faith. God will protect you 🦋❤️🦋
@@bareessence4054 thank you god bless💕
@@chilufyamulenga6825 Same to you😊
how are you now? are you till friends?
Honestly just get busy be productive be positive glow up and change but be yourself don't force it just kinda suggest it and it will happen.
This is where I'm at with someone. When we talk, there is nothing to talk about besides people that we once knew, who are no longer in my life. Inrelaoze that I didnt want to sot on the phone amd gossip about the "old times". Its complicated with this old friend b/c ahe is incarcerated and so she tries to cling to me. I get it- she doesn't want to lose anyone. I feel for her, but I've been on a self love journey and as I look back on our relationship before she ended up where she is at, I see that there were other times it was evident we grew apart, but we clung due to history I guess. Besides, I realize was unhealthy patterns like manipulation,taking on some of her unhealthy traits, her violating trust, taking me for granted, etc. I kinda like I ignored signs from the get go, but due to codependency issues, ignored them.
I'm trying to stick to my boundaries, as this person keeps calling but it makes me feel like she is stepping on my boundary to disconnect from her. She keeps saying how sad she is, that she wants to be friends for life, but I am no longer invested. The guilt is tough though. Oh amd this is a.person that I've known since 14. We're 31 now, but she has been locked up since 23. I've done alot of changing since then.
its so hard to find a friend that means so much to you and to feel like they are your whole world but you don't mean a thing to them.
This is exactly how I’ve felt and I had enough. Blew up on her and now we don’t talk. I couldn’t do it another way because she never listens or understands. You know it’s time when you don’t want to talk,text, answer the phone or hang out.
I just cut of my toxic best friend today :/
Same here, I’m trying to move on
Same
@@haley2121 I’m thinking of doing it tomorrow kind of scared lmao and we are in the same form and I sit next to her in a lesson so it’s gonna be a bit awkward
Chilufya Mulenga - it’s going to have it’s downsides at first but it’s really great you’re doing what’s best for your health. I’m wishing you good luck, I hope it goes well💙💙
@@haley2121 thank you I’ll try update tomorrow after I’ve done it
honestly they were my bestfriends and they made me so happy. after a while they started leaving me out and i found out they made transphobic remarks. i was really upset and after i confronted them they got mad at me for “not taking a joke.” i cut them off and im happier now :)
Are we friends because we are neighbors or are we friends because we’re friends- PERSPECTIVE 🤔
I say :
Reasons
Seasons
Blessings
Lessons
Life time
We must learn to compartmentalize , and stop being in denial about the ppl we have in life.
History doesn’t = longevity.
Thank you for leaving this comment💛 this helped me
@@haley2121 🙏🏿
This is the one right here 👆🏾
Still pretty scared to cut her off, but I feel so much more encouraged to do the right thing for me. Thank you!
Well if she is making ur life hard or u are not just giving with her anymore then u need to but her off and I know how scary it is I had to cut off two girls at once and it was scary cuz at the end of the day I thought I would be lonely but I did it because I thought about all the night I tried because of them or the "jokes" they made about me or the things they did behind my back and it hit me that it was happy before I was friends with them I can be happy without them so I did it and I may not know ur situation but all I have to say is u can do it and hope u the best👍🏾.
let go girl i just let go of one RIGHT NOW i went to a video cause i needed to stop this relationship just let go girl your gonna feel a lot better my relation ship with her was realllyyyyy baddd she called me names on which i wasnt
I learned that sometimes you gotta quit being a friend for a person to realize they had a friend. If you looking for a friend to lie to you when you doing fuck shit that ain't me. If you looking for someone to not hold you accountable for your actions that aint me. I had to release a narcissist who I literally just found out they had hidden I'll feelings about me.I swear I tried so hard not to let this friend go but they just handed me the scissors so Im over putting effort in and moving on changed the number blocked them yup I definitely overstayed my welcome in that friendship but one thing about a cancer when we done we DONE!!!!!!✌🖕🙌🙌💅💅💪💪💪🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️
Thank you for this video, have felt so unbelievably lonely after moving on from bad friendships but your video helps me remind me there is light at the end of the tunnel x x
exactly what I needed. Some things were tough to swallow but overall, you've really made my day much easier.
It's insane because right now, we're on different paths and I have NOTHING in common with this person anymore. That's why I want to let the friendship go.
But thinking about the entire friendship, she's constantly belittled me and was never happy for my success in life. Everyone else was always so much more important than I was and when I brought it up in a non confrontational manner, she escalated the situation completely. Telling me I have no right to be hurt and that it's all in my head.
recently she told me something positive that happened in her life and I couldn't even fake being happy for her. After all the shit she put me through, unbeknownst to her, I literally just couldn't give a damn.
It opened my eyes to the fact that she has no place in my life but still I almost didn't want to realize it. Letting go is so hard even though there's no reason for YOU to let anyone treat you like shit.
Y'all are worth so much more than a 'friendship' that drains your life. Everyone deserves to be respected. And even if this person is your only friend or if every friend you have is exactly like this person, dump them. Get rid of them. You're losing nothing. Because you're alone in all of this anyways. And when these people are present in your life, you're not allowing the room to let other, much better people into it.
it's probably hard but the fact that there's a video with so many comments on it, means that many people feel this way and many people had to let go. You're never alone. And it may feel like shit right now but it'll have to get worse before it gets so so much better. Hold tight, y'all. You deserve better.
Yeah what is with so called best friends making you less priority than a stranger in the street. They will even ditch you for a coworker or associates. Everyone else more important than me
In college now. My bff is annoyed I don't want to try any type of drug, get a tattoo, or get drunk a lot. I don't judge her for doing that stuff, but she's over me being a goody-two-shoes. It sucks but I want to be with someone who will be fine with me the way I am.
*The 20 dislikes are probably the 20 toxic friends that were cut off* ರ_ರ
righhhht
I’ve had some trouble with cutting someone off but realizing that I’ve grown and they haven’t Really helped. This vid helped me really solidify the fact that I have 8 real friends and honestly that is enough for me.
2 1/2 of a friend over because she was manipulative and toxic and can never admit when she's wrong and lied about the amount of money I gave her I'm just over it and I'm so happy you're 20 20 show me who my real friends are and to move on with my life and that's what I'm doing
Girl I’m in the same position as you, I feel the same way you do! Everything you said was just real 💯
me 3....easier said than done...smh
This video couldn’t have came at a better time
Came to this after new year’s 2022. My husband and I ran around with the same group who really loves to get together for fun drinking afternoons/weekends. And it was fun for us for awhile, but we’ve started to outgrow it. I’m not an alcoholic by any means, but I’m the person who once I start, I don’t stop. More of an addictive personality and why I never tried smoking or any other vices. I’ll be 29 this year and I want this year to be a stepping stone for becoming my best self for my husband and three boys in the next phase of life, which means cutting drinking a lot or completely. It’s not good for me and as a health coach, I know it’s not getting me anywhere good in life to get drunk and be hungover on the weekends. I want so much more for myself and the family I have, so it will probably mean outgrowing the friends we have. There are other reasons such as petty drama but not drinking and not being able to be around it will be the catalyst to having to move on from all of the friends I do have close ties to. Thank you for the video! ❤️
Just came across this video and it really resonated.. I had a friend that I cut off a little while ago.. I realised I was forcing our friendship to work even though we were different and i had outgrown her but i felt like i couldn't let go because of the history etc
This hit me right in the feels. I’ve been outgrowing friends. I wish I would have seen this video a long time ago. I love the message.
It’s okay to grow past people. By saying you’ll be best friends forever is really lying to yourself. People change, go down different life paths, and that’s completely okay! I think it’s more healthy to realize you had some good times and you’ll find other people.
My friend and I were friends for about half my life. Things felt forced for the last 2 years. I couldn’t put my finger on it. And one day someone told me exactly what you posted here. “People outgrow each other”. And guess what? That day I made a new friend.
Embrace change! It feels refreshing and good!
This is exactly what I am going through you literally speaking my path. So I had this friend for a long time there were some discussion we had with people that are her friends but I kind of knew them, during the conversation the people did not take what I said in a wrong way only “my friend” did but keep in mine I talk to this person every week vs the other people I don’t talk what’s is ever, long story short she told them behind my back end did not call me to tell me what she felt about the conversation completely ignored me and spoke to them about me. She came in and apologized and I truly forgave her, However I don’t have the passion, the heart to talk and be passionate. It’s almost forced and I feels like am pushing a wall.
Wow this really hit me. You said a lot of things I really needed to hear. I have had a best friend from middle school and I feel like we are growing apart. I still have a lot of love for her but our conversations are starting to become stale. I don’t know how to tell her because she feels that we are so close. I feel that in this season of life she needs me more than I need her. I am still debating though because we do have a really good time together.
Aww I'm happy to read that. Sometimes you gotta let people go, but only when you're ready!
I ‘had’ a bestfriend for 13 years loads of ups and downs! She always spilled my secrets and got me into sh**t most of the time! Best thing I’ve done is to drift away! Why would you do this to your ‘bestfriend’ she was so false can’t believe I fell for it every time and made myself look a fool ! Never again!!! 🙄
Literally same. I resonate with this on a spiritual level
Fax yo all my “homies and my real ones” were always just getting me into beef and trying to start shit up. I just got fed up and left, and I’m fixing myself because I had been influenced by them a lot in a bad way💯
@@tushar8174 Yessss 🙌🏼 ! You have to do what’s best for yourself ! It’s so toxic it drains you😖 some people that don’t even know you can have better intentions . Get out while you can better people will come along and if not I’d rather be alone without knowing sticking knifes in my back X
I am drifting away....for all the same reasons.
I'm watching this now and lately I've been feeling off and back and forth . A couple of weeks I stopped talking to this one friend and i felt fine .just a day or two I answered her call and I just felt like how I felt about the reason for why I distanced myself from her and I have been going back and forth with myself and I'm like yeaaaaa I just don't feel like I want to listen and entertain the toxic shit anymore . I'm trying to better my environment and mental health and all of that good stuff and do better as well and I just feel mad off and not myself after listening and or texting her about things that does not concern me or anything of that nature and I'm just altogether tired . So I now know what to do and I know this is my complete confirmation 💞
Your comment resonate with me so much!
Thank you I always tell myself that oh I need to put the effort cause I don't want to take my friends for granted but at the end of the day I see that like they don't care like I do.
I want a real best friend like u know cause sometimes I get clingy.... anyway
I’m going through releasing old friendships now. It’s interesting because over the corse of years more things have been exposed about these friends., I’ve been sitting back observing and figuring out how I want to move forward., it’s like this year everyone really showed me why I’ve been contemplating on removing myself from friendships. I realized I didn’t need nor want a farewell conversation or discuss why I’m not interested in the friendship. I don’t find it immature at all., people know what they do., I’m grown now I’m a mom a wife., and the drama and indirect moments., I’m over it., it’s just ironic all the ones I’ve decided to move forward from has all hit me up this week. I’m very unmoved by it.
I related so much to everything you said you have no idea! I've been going through this too... I was best friends with someone on and off for 12 years. when you're friends with someone for that long and you start growing up you start noticing if you're meant to be long-life friends or if it's temporary.
my way of dealing with it was kinda growing into the distance, I always felt that I was trying so hard to make it work and I bet she felt the same way too... but even though we could never meet in the middle. it's been exactly six months since we talked or met, and your speech made me realize more that I want this distance, I let it grow because I know it's for the best.
I just wanna say if someone would read this... it's going to be ok, learn to translate your own energies and you would know what and who feels just right. that's something I remind myself of everyday, it' all about how you feel inside.
I agree. Everything you said was on point. 💯 people change. My best friend got really superficial and got very toxic. I feel liberated now.
It was also a decade for me. And, that best friend also betrayed me multiple times and acts like it’s not a big deal.
I have a friend I’ve been friends with for over 40 years! I think the last 15 or 20 years has actually been forced. Believe it or not! I felt like I needed to continue this relationship because of loyalty. I’m finally coming into myself. And realizing I don’t need to hold onto relationships that are not serving me. That causes me pain and sorrow instead of joy and happiness.
What’d you end up doing?
i just cut off one of my close friends of 6 years.
i'm upset because of all our future plans but also relieved, because we weren't compatible anymore, we couldn't understand each other anymore.
we had a fight yesterday, she took a day break, i realised i couldn't be bothered to try to fix it this time, it was the same cycle of us not meshing. not talking for a day made me realise, i don't need her in my life, i just got used to her being there.
she came back today. i tried to sort out this fight, & all the issues, like communication, for one last time, it just caused another fight, she said she wanted another break, i said i wanted it to end for good.
i've blocked her. i don't know if i should block her on all my socials or not. i don't know what to do now. sorry for the rant lol
I've been through the same thing. I wrote a song about toxic friendships and the feelings you go through when you get let down by a close friend.
it’s called friend and my name is Jolina if you want to hear it on Spotify (or wherever you listen to music).
maybe the song can help you heal the way it helped me. I think you're going to relate to the lyrics.
YOU DESERVE BETTER.
I recently cut off a friend off 11 years because as we are both 29 now, he is still 21 mentally. His obnoxious nature and smart comments were tolerated when we were 19 but at 29 I wasn't having none of it. I moved into my own place 2 years ago, got engaged this year and I'm planning my wedding while he's still living with his parents who do everything for him. Although he was one of my most loyal friends, our lives in 2020 are heading in two different directions. I'm a guy and I used to think only girls went through this but this affects guys too.
Sounds like a friend of mine who is toxic. Get so sick of the sarcastic jokes and insults disguised as jokes. We are in our 40s so this is very sad and childish
I think I might be scared to be alone after cutting of my toxic friends, and this is holding me back to do the cut :/ during the pandemic it might be really hard to get to know new people...
Im in the same situation! I cut of some of my toxic friends so now I have basically no one to talk to at all :/ But i picked up some hobbies along the way which has helped me pass time! My advice is to work on yourself and find hobbies, gradually text this person less and less until you barely text anymore.
I’m in the same situation
I was mad at my friend because she was treating me like she was acting embarrassed to be around me when certain people were around. I talked to her about it and she said it’s because she has other friends. But that didn’t give her an excuse to treat me like she was embarrassed to be around me or not talk to me when I was present. I distanced myself from her and she was the one who ended the friendship. Now she’s bullying me and turning people against me. She’s also hanging around my bullies. She’s trying to make me feel quilty for reasons I don’t know of. But I’m so glad we’re not friends anymore cause her true identity came to the light.
I just wished my parents told me about outgrowing friendships... I thought I was the problem and felt so helpless :/
I feel this :( nothing ever prepared me for a friendship breakup
Yeah, I wouldn't say that ghosting is an option because it can really hurt the other person, especially if they're still there for you. I've been ghosted that way and to this day I feel bad about it. When I realized I should stop trying to reach back, and just ghosted her back, the other person made me the bad person in the situation, it was awful. Anyways... I wish I had known about friendships breakups and just how you and your friends might outgrow each other sooner, maybe I would've dealt with the ghosting and other situations better. Great video!
I'm in the process of getting rid of one that's just too into herself and can't keep secrets.
stop hanging out at recess
less face times
less texts
got out and maybe get a job and find new people
I would rather have a friend that dosent judge how I look-
"I don't really know the purpose of this video" girl this video has so much purpose trust me. I feel like I really needed to hear that it is ok to outgrow people.
I totally resonate with everything you’re saying ! I transferred universities and I had to deal with managing friends from two different universities and figuring things out with my high school friends!
I’m a Capricorn so I relate but I also might be a little bit more ok with cutting people off than the average aquarius (not sure)
My aquarius best friend had a huge friend group split and she said “I miss the memories but I don’t miss the person/people” - that sounds kinda like what you’re saying!
Much love ❤️❤️❤️
Like these videos and love to see more of this kind of video!
Also have you talked about your love life at all? 👀
I haven’t seen all of your vids but I think I don’t here you ever give details about your love life. Which is totally valid, I’m just curious 🧐📝👀
I have been in this friendship for 6 year (since middle school )
This girl always brought me down and made herself look like the victim. But still, I consider her my friend. (Because I believed her as an idiot)
After 3 years. I started opening up to my cousin (we are like siblings) about all the hurtful things she had told me. She advised me to get away from her.
Since then, not only her but literally everyone that I trust and love, have told me to erase her from my life.
At some point I was so bad (mentally) that my mom even started tearing up (my mother doesn’t cry easily)
Right now. As I would go to university, is my chance to make a fresh start.
I have stopped texting her and now (while watching these type of videos)
It helps me realize that the victim was me all along. 🙃
I think friendship breakups is so underrated and in fact so much more painful than a romantic one I don’t know why very few talk about it
I recently cut ties with my best friend because it has to be done to grow . I keep blaming myself even though its not my fault even though I tried so much to fix it but nothing helps when you two just outgrowing from each other trying to fix it just make it 10x more toxic because obviously you two are not on the same page anymore .
I just keep remembering our memories with every song we listened to and every meal we had together its just so heartbreaking
Although few months passed already i still having hard time moving on
I think its just take time depending on the kind of connection you had with them it’s important to be patient and take your time reflecting on everything and accepting eventually
Totally feel you. The person I'm currently trying to let go has done me dirty three times. I was dumb enough and let her do the same thing to me three times... Oof.
We used to be besties. Perfect match. Dream team. But early 2022 she reached out to me again, repeating her pattern (and mine). I gave her a final chance, believing she had changed. But she clearly showed me nothing has fkn changed, she's still doing the same things, repeating the same patterns, won't learn from her mistakes. And I no longer want to run after a person, who's dragging me and everyone around them down. Still learning to get over her. I guess it just takes time to heal the wound depending on how deeply you were emotionally attached to them.
I stumbled upon this video and it really really helped me let go of a friend that always knew I needed to, thank you for helping me see that! Xx
Yes, its your life - own it! In the process of doing this after a "friend" group cast a blind eye to the fact that one of them bullied me. Let them know I'm not trying to maintain those connections. They came around. But it was way too much effort on my part for me to really feel like they're real ones.
Word to the wise/PSA to you and every other young woman: better to not announce to strangers/the internet if you live alone or not and certainly what area. It's nobody's business and it's your safety. Be safe!
Omg long story short: an extrovert friend of mine was like always positively pushing me motivating me to do things and then I noticed she was humiliating me & one situation was like the last red flag. She accused me and made me cry and because she is not empathic at all she didn’t even reflect on what she did, said it was my fault and never apologised. And I realised: I am very sensitive; I don’t need people who are without empathy and I don’t want someone who doesn’t match my life and values. Of course she’s fun on a party but I won’t ever tell her anything close or important anymore. Sometimes it needs a Big Bang until you realise it.
Just recently I cut of my best friend that I had for over 10 years. Even tho I know that I did the right thing Im still asking myself if I did the right thing. We had great memories together but thats only because I gave so much and suggercoated everything just to make her feel better. Every time I tried to express my Feelings and issues to her she would get mad at me. We always did the things she wanted to do and went to places she wanted to go. We would only go out when she wanted to. That part shows me that it was the right decision. At other Hand she wouldnt go anywhere without me which made me think the she loves me. But that can't be it.
I'm good at cutting people off because I know my worth!
If they are toxic cut them out. I started thinking about what really happens when I was in contact with the so called friend. Well she was using me for information only. First she start out talking about how smart I am well butter me up which I don’t need. All in all she just wanted information. She will ask how I am doing as soon as I start saying how I am doing she has to go. I just started paying extra attention to everybody I interact with. Also she use to call to dump her problems on me I stopped listening I am not a trash can I am not a doormat.
Good for you
I have a friend that I love very much, & I feel as though she’s my spirit sister. I’m very grateful for having such a unique friendship w her, & before I start there is a lot of good in her, but she is someone who can’t be in my every day life anymore..
Lately when we are done hanging out, 8/10 I feel like a POS- she knows how to con others very easily, & points out any/every flaw she can see in someone. It’s almost like a super power she has, & can see something negative a mile away.
At first, it wouldn’t bother me bc I know whatever comes out of her mouth is not true but over time, it’s become to feel heavy. I’m already hard on myself as is, so it just doesn’t help. I would say I’m an average positive bean, yet I’m starting to feel held back by something attached to me.
She loves to gossip, getting in fights on fb & even at the bar.. I get frequent messages on the media of others saying bad things about her or ask why she’s my friend. I love her & simply do not have to explain my love for someone so it’s like? Fuck everyone & what they think but at the same time I’m tired of it.
I’m tired of getting called bitch (that’s just how she talks to others, even to her grandma), the constant texting, tagging me in meme’s on every single social media platform, the backhanded compliments, bringing me into drama I simply don’t care for, you get it... I’m just trying to chill...
She’s gotten better since she’s become a mom & hasn’t drank much since having him, but I can’t go any longer than 2 weeks w/o seeing her- otherwise she gets an attitude or acts betrayed or makes me feel like I’ve done something wrong. I work full-time & have been taking 12 credit semesters while making that coin on of, so my plate is pretty full + maintaining a mending relationship w my own family. considering her son is also my Godson, this is a relationship I will always have if I want to remain connected to him. I would do anything for him...
Now going back to how she has good in her, she truly does. When it’s just her & I (no one around for her so start acting mean or different), we have the greatest time together! She’s the first person to make me piss my pants laughing & she’s honestly saved me before..
I just feel stuck about this bc I’ve been working really hard on myself since I’ve been out of the hospital & been growing as a person- but lately our energy together hasn’t been matching up.
I know I’m no better than anyone on this earth, but I wanna flourish during this lifetime, & it’s hard to when someone who you love makes you feel so down. SOS I’m about to change my name if she see’s this I LOVE YOU PLEASE HELP
I just ghosted them, cut them off no explanation. Talking with manipulative people will get you in their game to manipulate your emotions with words and false promises. Life is way too short. I wish them well in my heart.
@@jolina942 Bravo for doing this Jolina and thank you!
Thank you for sharing your story.
I decided to talk to my old high school friend. I realized we are very different because we have different life values. I respect theirs but I don’t see a future being friends with them. The other person is very toxic. I have sweet memories with them but I have grown up and the type of friends I currently have are generous and kind people I like to have in my life. I can relate to this
Thank you for sharing ❤️ that help but one thing that I learned is to give more worth with God, family, and love ones. Friends comes and go but God, family, and love ones still feels like home even if change occurs or distance separates us from them.
I had a friend who was always willing to miss work & go places for and with people they cried to me for advice about, but whenever I needed her, she couldn’t miss work. Lol 💁🏾♀️ I moved around because even though I would never throw anything I do for people in their face, it’s like dang though, “what about all of the stuff I actually did for you though” “if it’s not serving me, I’m not serving it” 🙏🏾❤️
I'm not to quick to call people my friends anymore i keep people in the acquaintance file until they prove otherwise like, passing the friendship test which is .... Not lying to me... Not being jealous of me... Not talking about me behind my back.... Not wanting me to stay where i am in life but want me and will influence me to go further in life.... And not turn a deaf ear to me if im in need .... Not being a blessing to me or sharing a blessing with me... These are true signs of a real friend !
I relate to this on such a large scale I actually dont know what to say.... I had a friend that did me SO DIRTY, and when you were talking about your friend.. I cried
I'm in a similar situation (obvs why I searched for this kind of video lol).. I have a friend that I've known for probably 15yrs now since middle school (I'm 28y/o). I recently realized after being in the panzemic and being away from people just how much I missed certain people (and how much I really didn't miss others). It was kind of a relief that I didn't see this one person for a while and when we finally were all able to link up again there were just so many instances where I realized how much of a toxic person she is like not even specifically just to me but like in general y'know? Hennyways, long story long, I've been kind of slowly quietly cutely tryna cut her off but it's been sooo hard and I feel like she's trying to make more of an effort now that were not in lockdown to see eachother and I'm just like eeuugghh what do I doo?? It's just really hard for me to be around people whos lives are always in turmoil. Yeah so.. I don't have any advice or anything of value to say hahaha just wanted to share my story!!! ty.
I honestly was just always “busy” I would tell them I was constantly working or sleeping and just never had the energy to do anything else anymore. (This actually was partially true just over exaggerated) This has worked for me.
Someone did this to me… and I wished they’d just told me the truth.
I'm planning on doing this tbh
I was cyber bullied, blacked mailed, and threaten by my ex toxic friends all the cared about themselves. They trying to break me and my fiancé up. They also did what they doing to me doing the same thing they doing to me. My fiancé and I were getting suicidal. But I have an awesome mom that help us who’s there when we need her. Abusive friends or any relationship get out of there before stuff gets worse and worse. I knew that there’s something about them I didn’t went with my own advice. So now I’m changed if people want start stuff with me I’m no longer their friend. I was in a lot of toxic relationship and friendships. I always say friends are temporary but family is forever. Don’t show fake friends your weaknesses they use it every time. I use to be big people person but now I’m not a doormat. People that bring my up are my God, fiancé, family,and my true friends. I’m not a voicemail say things to my face.
It so going to feel so good cutting it off! ♥️
Breaking off a toxic friendship can be unbearably tough but if it helps u to feel like who you are supposed to be (your true self), without them in your life it’s worth it. I had to email a friend I had for 12 years and tell her in the email that our lives were going in different directions and that I wished her well , but felt that we should go our separate ways , and it was tough in the moment, but it was the right thing to do. It brought myself, my husband and my kids stress to see her. She talked smack when I was with her and even gave me an attitude! She wasn’t really grateful for the time I would make for her and she always wanted more, more , more time. It was unrealistic to expect someone (me) who had 3 kids, one of which was a toddler at the time, to see her multiple times a month, when we lived in separate cities, and spend more and more time with her. I did care about her. When she went through cancer, I was there for her to bring her to the hospital. I helped her at her house. When she moved , my brother and I took several hours to move her to her new place because she didn’t have a car. I was there for her when she needed me. We didn’t believe in the same things and her advice was not actually good for me!😆It’s too bad but I learned a lot from that experience. She was a coworker and it’s better to keep things professional at work and less personal before you had fully got to know someone. If she had been nicer to me , maybe things could have worked out but I didn’t like the way I felt about myself after I visited her. That was hard. It was a toxic relationship!
This is just what I needed. I just graduated from HS and I've been asking these questions. Thank you, Ashley!
Some friends I cut out, others I phase out. Lately on both sides, my friend and I outgrow each other. I guess having moved to a different state from a year and coming back really did change me
Me and an old "friend" had a horrible falling out years ago due to her mental issues and I literally wiped my hands with her! Well ofcourse Social media brought us around each other again but only on social media. I won't see her in person and at first it was great to reconnect but as time went on I seen that she hasn't changed much and us having another fall out was inevitable!! Sad but it's a friendship that has expired!
Wow everything you said in this vid is spot on. Lately one of my closest friends and I have been on different wavelengths and especially because of politics. I know people say not to stop a friendship over political views but it goes beyond that. She has talked down to me and said that I'm brainwashed and twists my words around and says that I'm judgmental. I had enough and finally went off on her but I still felt like she wasn't understanding me as a friend and then she started to bring up stuff from the past to diffuse my points. Now we have both just stopped talking to each other and usually I'm the one that swallows my pride and makes up but now I don't want to do that anymore...are my feelings justified? I'd like to think yes because I've been feeling this way the past couple months.
Good morning. Happy to have just discovered your channel. Desperately needed to hear and understand these words today. I feel blessed to have "met" you. Thank you and I'm definitely excited to see any and all of your videos. Wow! 😊💜
i was really having a bad day and i’m so happy that i found this video when i did because listening and hearing you talk about your own problems but also just hearing the tons of self awareness you exude is so refreshing and just makes me feel better some how haha
you also seem so relaxed and down to earth with is something i always love in people
this is only the first video i’ve watched but i know i will probably love your videos!
I am in my 60's. For the first time in my life I have cut two ladies out of my life. After I discovered they were gossiping about me "nastily" it made me feel sick! But it had to be done. I have cut them out forever. Don't feel bad about moving on. Some people are not cut out to be our friends. They are just toxic messed up people. Don't feel bad. Just move on. Get busy and meet new friends. You will miss them. But it wears of.
Last night I decided I was fooling myself by trying to maintain a connection with someone I thought was my best friend since high school. We have history,yet the so called friend ghosted me a few times,said disrespectful things and was overall concerned with low vibes and did not match my wavelength. I wish him well in life. We’ve been friends for at least ten years at least I tried to be a friend
I literally just said to her “we’re done being friends, goodbye 👋” she was super mad but my other friends were the ones I would keep for life 😁 (she had been being toxic for like 5 months)
I suffered a loss and now I am outgrowing my very good friends of many years. If they were toxic who cares, goodbye. But they are great. And I'm not the easiest to be around in my sphere of grief and misery.
It's never black and white.
Omg thank you so much for this video!! I needed to hear this so bad! Love the honestly, thank uuuu💕💕
It’s really crazy at how us as women are so quick to lose out on valuable friendships but we can deal with men and they’re crap . Certain situations I understand but most times it’s really nothing