Let's Normalize Grief After Friendship Breakups. | Vlogmas Day 22
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- Опубликовано: 21 дек 2020
- Today I am talking about friendship breaksups and how sad they can be. Let's normalize grief after friendship breakups. It's hard! Let's talk about it.
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Friendship breakup hurts 1000x more than the normal ones. The memories torture me daily. And now I'm scared to get too close to anyone because of this. It's been around 1 month+ since my friend started to distance herself from me and there's no single night I didn't cry eversince. I know I should stop reading/looking at anything related to her but I just miss everything that we did together. I miss her. Now I can only wish her happiness and good health.
I feel u, i hope the pain fade away
I’ve recently experienced this, one of the worst pain. But i promise you it will get better❤️
same. i thought i was the only person who felt like this.
It's like you read my mind, I resonate with every single word. But it's been almost two years.
This is me last month and I still cry about it sometimes. Pain still follows me every day although I'm doing better now. I miss her a lot 🥺
I always debate if I should block ex best friends on social media for my own mental sanity. It’s crazy how you can be friends with someone for so many years but you grow apart over time. I wish there was a turn off switch for feelings
I feel you
How is it now for you? I ask because I broke up with my friend.
I'm going to the same thing and although it's hard and even hard to say you have to block them
@@pppppppieeeeeee I blocked my old friend on social media because she would look at everything in my story but wouldn't say one word which is off to me but hey that seemed easier to me.
@@Sameolgossip I think many people actually do that. Was it something you posted that was directly towards her?
these comments make me feel less alone. people have been making me feel weird for being upset about losing my BEST friend, we called eachother sisters. but i’m not the only one that felt this way. it’s nice to know it wasn’t strange to be that close to them and to be upset about it
I feel the EXACT same way as you do. Lost my best friend 9 months ago I think. It was august 2022. We were closer than sisters. Feels like I lost half of myself:/ Thank you for sharing that comment. It helps a lot rn
💯
Same here! People shamed and judged me telling me to “just let it go” and even got mad at me for crying about it inconsolably and dwelling on it because she was my best friend and she suddenly left me and ghosted me. I wish friendship breakup grief was less stigmatized than it is😭😭😭
People don’t understand how heartbreaking this can be because you tell them all of your secrets and often times alot of things you wouldn’t tell your significant other. This is real life shit that hurts!
What about the part when they do know your secrets and you are not friends and they start sharing all your business. They let you know they really weren’t a friend to begin with.
She broke up with me over a card on my birthday, blocked me on everything, and all my friends are mutual friends between us. She knows all my trauma, I confided everything in her.
I found out she even planned it over two weeks before my birthday because she told me to open the gift alone
this
Going through a friendship break up now and it is 1000% worse then a romantic breakup. Romantic relationships we expect to fail most of the time. But nobody expects their friends to just takeoff snd leave.
Covid made me realize how shitty my best friend was. I just wasn’t prepared for how lonely I’d feel after the breakup. I definitely creeped this week because it’s her bday week and I can’t believe we’re not traveling together to celebrate. This video helped a lot tho. I’m gonna stop crying now😭
😢😢😢😢😢aaaah I can relate
I can 💯 relate!
Did u make any new friends
friendship breakups hit so much harder like 100000s of times times harder.when you break up with a friend it almost feels like you are breaking up with yourself especially if they are your best friend because it is like losing a part of you. it is like losing a part of you that you thought would last forever, but i guess nothin lasts forever. i am currently going through multiple friend breakups and i feel so lonely. i feel lost, i feel empty and i feel like i am worth absolutely nothing.i miss everyone, i miss the laughs, the inside jokes.i miss the memories. i miss feeling happy...
I’ve lost all the best-friend’s of my life since childhood and geez it fucking sucks balls. It feels like I’m going to be a loner for a while; maybe my whole life. Idk. Now, I’m anxious about forming close friendships bc I’m avoiding the excruciating pain of it all.
I feel you!!
relatable af!
Don't worry.... I can understand ur pain....God removes bad people from ur life inorder to give u good people.... if they are gone...let them go....
@@RAnn7692 🙏🏾Amen!!
Same smh the fact I lost so many friends make me feel like something’s wrong with me . But I don’t get it I love the people in my life so hard and I would never want to hurt them.
Friendship breakup hurts the most...there is nothing painful like seeing someone you thought you'd be besties for life just for them to hurt you, play the victim and you still reach out to fix things just for them to not bother and you see them with the one who replaced you every single day💔💔
exactly thiss , i hope ur feeling better babe.
@@tokki3922 yes I am sis🥺❤️thanksssss
The pain of friendship breakups is underrated. 😕
seriously.
💯💯💯
@@AshleyFlorestv we can be buddy
This is so relatable, I feel like best friend breakups need to be more normalized. For me it took me a year to get over what happened.
right! it's so hard. I get so connected to my friends so it really messes with me
It's been two years and I'm still processing what happened and the fact that we broke up. It still hurts, i miss her!
@@mandolaa4855 same! It's been two years and I still feel hurt when I remember what happened and how we don't talk
@@leslien.552 Send her a message, i did
@@mandolaa4855 I actually did reach out to him last week... We exchanged 1-2 messages but then he didn't respond anymore.
it's been almost a week since the last messages I sent him, so I'm not expecting him to answer it.
It's one of those things were you know the friendship is not the same... I actually think that's the end of it 🤷🏽♀️
This video absolutely saved me. I’ve just went through a friendship break up, and I have felt so confused as to why I’m still mourning my lost friendship after almost 10 months. In the simplest way to describe it, I had met my platonic soulmate. It hurts just thinking about them, and what I’ve missed out during these 9 months. The memories of them haunt me. Every small detail is always somehow connected to them that everything just reminds me of them. For some sick reason I hope they feel the same sadness I feel, but at the same time I just wish that things work out for them at the end.
edit: hiiii, so it’s me a year after and I just wanted to give everyone who has or is going through my same situation the reassurance that the pain and mourning get better with time :) remember to treat yourself gently through such a fragile process, to take your time with healing, and to prioritize yourself first and foremost.
Going thru something similar like u rn, shit's tough but we got this 😭
@@zillusio me too 😢
@@margarette10ify same :(
It took me 2 years to be completely over it, it's okay it's a process
You literally explained this so well you got me tearing up😭😭
When they become part of your daily life and when you lose them, it feels like there's a void in you. I always looked forward to my friend texting me. Now it wont happen again 🥲
Same here just broke up with mine .. and it hurts so bad she was someone I could tell every and anything too . I’m not sure how I’m going to handle this but I hope it is all worth and I hope time heals because right now I’ve been crying my eyes out for the longest 🥲
@@bryannaamariee i understand... take your time to heal 🥺☺
that’s exactly how I used to feel too:( just know that God will never let you down, He loves you so much and He is there for you always!im sorry if this was unhelpful, but He is what got me through my breakups!have a good day, things will get better💕✝️
Did she/he msgd you?
Same..
I’m honestly laying in bed crying because I lost someone I thought i had a true friend but it absolutely wasn’t thank you for letting us know this is normal
Yes!! All thisss!!! I wish it were normalized because it hurts like hell daily😩
RIGHT!
I would genuinely say that a friendship breakup hurt worse than a relationship breakup. Building all those memories together, and seeing them not as a friend, but even family. There will be days where I used to cry myself to sleep because of it. I’ve gotten to the point of not getting too close to people platonically because of it. I’m doing much better over the years, but those days where the emotions will hit, hit very hard. I do wish him well, but it’s troubling to know that our lives aren’t together anymore.
I lost a friend recently because neither of us could apologize and she said some really hurtful things. I’m grieving that right now. Part of me wants to ask them to try again but I know now that I will never feel safe emotionally around them again after what they said. It’s hard. And it really sucks.
what happen here @hannahchristine5240
This is exactly how I feel right now. I don’t know if I should keep trying, and if my friend would even take me back, we both said some pretty nasty things about each other. It’s just I feel I acknowledged my mistakes but she didn’t, but I still miss her. She also blocked me but only on some things so idk if I should block her on the other apps as well. I just try to keep reminding myself that this is an opportunity to learn what I did wrong and to improve myself and future friendships, and I hope you do too. Hope your doing better now
The thing that make my breakups so bad both relationship and friendship is that the person is always intertwined with other friends so it makes it awkward and always comes with some sort of side picking. It’s never a one on one thing.
Well in my case we both stayed friends with our friends but in separate groups. I think it’s worse because they always mention her when we meet and how funny it was the last time they all met with my ex-bestfriend
So true, all of our mutual friends picked her side and I was left alone.
Friendship breakups are soooo tough!
Yes!! it hurts.
friendship breakups hurt 1000x more, especially if you were in the same friend group
Hurts so much when you thought she's gonna be your lifetime bestfriend😔 but its sad to think that it was just only me who wished for that. When you're also willing to dive for them and it feels weird waking up to each day knowing you'll never hear a single text/call from her like you guys used to everydayyy 😭 it sucks and this would take me long time to recover..
Same me and my friend went to the same middle but ending up going to a different high school. We called everyday and did so many things up until this summer when we both graduated we are fading apart. It hurts so bad, it gives me anxiety and I physically feel sick. She was my only friend.
@@rima.mv2147 I feel you 😔 that's the same with me, I feel sick physically the whole weeks/month. The memories are always there although im doing better now but can't deny the pain that still follows me every day.
@@coolskunk6186 I’m glad that you’re feeling better I just want some of my pain to end. I hope for a better future for the both of us, remember that things can only get better and don’t stop working for your dreams.
@@rima.mv2147 Sorry late reply, and yess. Heyy we'll get what we deserve 😊 Thank you for that! 🤍 May we all heal and grow together 🙌
Felt that HARD !! Always go extra miles!
I’m going through a friendship breakup right now and the moment I got the text from her saying “Yeah, I don’t like you” istg I almost started having a panic attack on the bus. I’m losing another close friend of mine, even after we’ve been through hell and back together for two years. I guess my flaws overrule all of that. I’m really starting to think that people who put up with me long enough or are close enough will eventually get sick of me. I really don’t want to succumb to all these negative thoughts but I feel like I’m definitely going to spiral tonight. Probably going to start trusting even less people now.
Losing friendships SUCK they hurt so much. My past friendship traumatized me. Please take care of yourself, work on yourself and keep yourself busy. Stay safe and take care💗
This is exactly what is happening to me. I hope you feel better soon
It's been 5 months of this comment, I really hope you're doing better.
This is almost precisely what is happening to me now. But she hasn’t said anything about not liking me. But I really don’t think she cares for me anymore, she didn’t say happy birthday to me
Yes, I can say in full honesty, no heartbreak has come close to this. I loved them so much man, they were my homies. It hurts so much
I feel that. it's hard af and no one really prepares u for it.
I understand where you coming from it really hurts losing a friend you thought was really your homie.
it’s important to remind urself that just like if it was a romantic breakup, you deserve better. you always do.
Just recently broke up with my female best friend and it "feels" unbearable. I'm constantly wondering if she feels the same. I haven't cried, but man the pain makes me want to sometimes. We would text each other every day. Fridays and Saturdays were our hangout days. Always would talk about the things of God and just life and silly stuff. I hate these feelings. Praying for healing for everyone dealing with friendship break-ups. 😫😥
Heavy on the “Wondering if she feels the same”! I swear I’m like I can’t be the only one crying and having these dreams and seeing her name etc like she gotta feel it too but then I’m like if she did then we would talk and properly move on😞
I feel like everyone around me tells me I should just move forward and not care about it, but when you’re friends like your whole life it’s super hard to like move forward without them especially when we like grew up making plans together for the future and now not being apart of each others futures, it’s definitely hard because they become more like family than a friend with time
I really needed this. I had a best friend that was like the sister I always wanted. After 15 years, she didn’t go to my wedding and we grew apart. I still follow her sister on social media and noticed she’s now pregnant and having a baby shower. I sobbed for some reason. Now I know why, it’s because I always wanted us to experience those moments together.
My best friend of 18 years, she would be a good friend but also not by belittling me and her jealously issues. My family knows her I know her family. It sucks but I had to break up with her I was tired of this rollercoaster. It does suck because she was the one I’d run to to call when I had a bad day or to help me with my anxiety. Idk when your stuck between wanting them in your life or saving your mental health.
omg i kinda relate.I just ended my 18 yrs of friendship also, cuz im the only one left trying, im the one who always text first, and it takes like 1 week for her to reply idk if shes avoiding me ,then i confronted her and ended our friendship, it hurts like hell , she's my everything. Now im kinda regretting ending it, did really made the right choice?, am i being selfish for ending it just to save my mental health, i wonder if she feels the same way,
I have had to do this to a few people and it still kills me inside. Sometimes you wonder, did I make the right choice? I really miss the human connection, but not the drama. I really relate to this video. The memories are so hard to get over when something reminds you of them.
I'm curious to know where you are today mentally with this? Your comment was helpful.
@@jdbumdcpark hey! Glad I could help! time helps the situation for sure. Realizing you and life will be OK without them there. I still miss my friends from time to time, but I always remind myself why I made the decision I did and that helps get me through the harder times. Cry it out if you feel down one day. Dont hold it in or youll explode.
@@glaciergang thanks for responding. Super helpful
@@jdbumdcpark sure thing! Feel free to respond here any time and we can chat :) hope youre doing ok!
Currently going through a bff break up and when u said „I realized I can‘t call her anymore“ man I felt that :( this hurts
I had 3 friendship break ups in 1 week and It's so hard for me to get over with it. This video helped me a lot and I realised how stupid and idiotic my friends were. I may be a little too clingy so thats understandable but three was just too much for me that I cried everyday until I got dark circles under my eyes. I'm doing better but thinking abt it again makes me sad
Every friend I ever had, we just drifted or grew apart. No toxicity, no argument/fight, not even a clear discussion. It still hurts at times tbh. We would talk/text like normal and then over time I was the only one texting them with no response. I decided to set some standards for myself. Life happens, but if you don't respond back to me within 6 months then it's over. One friend did text me after 11 months or so, but I had already deleted her contact information and had no clue which person she was. It was odd how it happened the day I was getting a new phone too. Oh well!
I can feel you mate..... even I have dealt with the same issue... its just that they don't consider me worth enough or take my easy going nature for granted..... but now I am totally fine and feeling much better without any best friends.... I am able to understand people more accurately than before working on myself... trust me things will become much better with time... don't worry.. all the best... you are special
Yes girl! The obsessive creeping is a real issue 😂. Especially at the beginning of the break-up! And the ego is SUCH a demon in these situations. Thanks for this amazing vlog. This definitely needs to be normalized 💞
omg I don’t feel so weird anymore🥺😭
My best friend of ten years just suddenly started ignoring me five months ago. I’ve messaged her saying how hurtful this is and she’s ignored that too. I have no clue why she doesn’t care about me anymore. Up til last year she was the kind of friend who would send me sweet notes and postcards just to say she was thankful to have me as a friend. I don’t have another friend like her.
How is it now?
Honestly going through this right now. My childhood friend of 15 years was saying a lot of rude/triggering comments and I know I should've said that I was uncomfortable earlier but I didn't cause I thought it was normal until I introduced them to a new friend and the new friend confirmed without me saying anything that they were being nasty towards me. So I sent her a message asking her to stop making those comments and she just ghosted me. 15 years of friendship and she didn't even bother to reply. It is honestly the worst break up I ever had even the romantic ones don't compare.
Friendship breakup harder 🥺 likeeeee you just don’t expect it. But relationships.. it happens
The worst thing for me was that my best friend started being friends with someone I despised, but wasn’t vocal about how I disliked him. I hate him even more now because he took my best friend. 😞 I miss being friends with this guy but now it’s just impossible.
My last ex friendship breakup was so weird I was in love with him and he knew and messed with my head. Quickly, things got awkward and we both realized we have nothing in common besides trauma. It took me 6 months to get over it I would see his name everywhere I got a new pair of glasses the next month and they were legit called his name. I told my therapist the full details of it all and she told me to get over it. And all my romantic relationships so far were very superficial so friendship breakups are harder 100%. Even though I'm an introvert I love telling people new shit I'm passionate about, having interesting convos whether they're deep or random convos etc.
I’m so sad about mine. I messed up and said something I regret. Then I overall just needed a break from anyone tbh (it was finals and I was just not in a good place), but I shouldn’t have taken it out on him. I realized I definitely took more than I gave in our friendship, so all I wanna do is make it up to him. He said we were cool, but we haven’t talked in 2 months and he unliked my pics and more. He has a gf now and is really happy, I wish I could see how he’s doing now. There’s just so much I wanna update him on too. Ughhhh it’s so frustrating.
Had the exact same thing! I was in a dark place and then i started being distance and thats when things went downhill..... I hope you are good now
Friendship, it usually lasts longer. Which makes it harder to let go.
Losing a friend hurts. It hurts even more when they are you best friend. I met my ex-best friend when I was 7. She was amazing, she was so heartfelt and kind. But as I grew into a teenager we started to drift. She would make up excuses to not come over/talk to me. I started to release that she was purposely avoiding me. I would see her talk to other people and not even acknowledge I was in the same room as her. But when I drew the last straw was when. She blocked me for multiple days and unblocked me and acted like nothing happened. After that it took me 3 weeks to find the strength to block her. It hurt so bad, I felt alone and helpless. It’s been 3 years since then. And I still grieve to this day. She was my best friend, and I feel angry but also guilty. I felt like it was my fault like I wasn’t good enough and I was the reason we drifted.
She was my sister, she held me in my arms while I went through the worst breakup of my life and I held her when some guy played her. Me and my bf got back together and every since she’s been distant. I know she’s probably disappointed in me but she doesn’t understand the light and the maturity of our relationship, how we both apologized, held and forgave eachother. She was going through things at home and with her mom and it caused her to make out with a guy I used to talk to, someone she knew I had feelings for in the past. It was unforgivable and it hurt more than anything, I felt so betrayed. I talked to her about it and she became angry at me for wanting to distance myself, she felt like I was abandoning her during the worst times of her life but really I was just releasing what I had let flow and accepted for so long, she would always talk to me about him as if I had no feelings? And I understand she expected me to be there for her and god knows I was , I listened to it all no matter how much it hurt for the sake of her. But yeah she hangs out with girls she knows I hate and plays with their hair befriends them right infront of me and doesn’t even speak to me anymore, ppl I’ve complained to her abt multiple times are now her friends. It hurts bc I would never do that to her EVER and I forgave her when she break my heart and now she’s done it again. I wrote her a paragraph checking up on her and telling her how much I missed our friendship and I hope she’s doing well and she just replied with “oh hi”. It’s crazy how someone you love to pieces can change to someone you cannot even recognize, all in a flash. We are now strangers and god I miss her with everything in me but this time I’m done, it hurts like fucking hell but I know it’s the best thing to do, reminiscing on the memories we shared and the connection we used to have is hell but I know I must heal eventually. I wish her the best truly.
I literally searched up “why can’t i get over a friendship breakup” cause i had online friends i was really close to but then they all betrayed me and decided to cancel me publicly (sounds dramatic but thats how it was and it affected me so much. Did it purely because of personal drama) and its been months and im still not over it
I hope you're doing good
kind of going through a similar thing
going through it still right now. although it wasn't publicly but just privately. I was still friends with someone they disliked and it was clear they didn't like her but some of them talked to them but I was the ONLY one kicked out. anyway sorry for the info I just needed to get this out somehow.
I searched friendship breakup and you vid popped, right now I sent the “I don’t think we should be friends anymore” to my best friend of 15 years and it HURTS, her partner disrespected me so bad and she said nothing… I couldn’t let go of that memory,
For a whole year, everything became so stressful and started to take away my peace… thanks for this vid!
Thank you so much for talking about this. We do need to normalize it. Because no one talks about it, there isn't space or "permission" to talk openly about it which prevents us from getting the emotional support we need to heal. It's such a hard thing to go through and we are not talking enough about how it is a painful process that involves grieving, healing, acceptance, etc. Thank you also for hitting on the nostalgia part, that is SO real and still so hard to navigate, even over a year later. Edited to add: WOW I'm just sitting here yelling YES, YES, YES. I am resonating so much with what you're saying.
i would say the best friend break up is worse depending on the time periods. like its been 7 years being friends to not being friends
and i work with her
It's the loneliness that's hits the most when you break up with a friend you was once inseparable with.
Honestly I feel like friendship breaks hit harder than normal breakups. But the it also kinda depends on like how were you and your friend. Like were you just normal friends or were you best friends. If it were best friends in my opinion it would hurt much more than a breakup. Going to places, it would like bring up memories and you would have this sudden clear of schedule.
I think the pain lasts longer but it's a little less intense. But YES exactly, depends on the dynamic and friendship.
it feels so nice to hear someone talk about this
You are amazing, and your honesty about friendship break ups and how I feel are the same! It helps to hear it from another person. It's been about a year and a half since one of my very good friends decided to end our friendship. Our friendship ended over something that happened between our kids! I made it clear how important she was to me and that I wanted to work through things but it never happened and I never even had any closure, she just shut down, which made this process even harder. I've been thinking about removing her from my social media because it causes me to start thinking about the whole situation too much when I she her posts, I start over ruminating. Thank you for sharing!
it's been 4 years, I'm okay now but it's very hard for me to try and have a bestfriend again 'cause even when i talk to people i always thought of them and it's like they are the only friend i need, you know. And it's hard getting rid of that feeling of just only wanting them even if you don't want to anymore and you wanna move on. I feel so sad when i see their pictures with a new bestfriend and how they moved on and seem very happy without me while i still love them very much and the struggle of thinking everyday why they replaced me and why they did what they did and treat someone else better and not treat me that good.
SAME.. I guess I'll be on this zone soon lol not being able to find a new bestfriend after years 😥
Thank you for this video. Definitely needed it and I appreciate it so much. Just recently went through a friend break up. I broke it up and I withheld from it for years.. but finally had to be done. I was getting treated horribly and the energy was not reciprocating anymore, that I started feeling down about myself. Like you said not a bad person, just was not a good friend to me. I started meeting new people and new friendships that made me realize I was settling for friendships that did not bring the best in me.
So true. It’s so sad, and it’s hard to talk about. And you miss what you had, just like a relationship, but know that it will likely never be the same, just like a relationship.
I relate to this a lot. I’m going to watch your other videos. I too had a friend that I spent all of my days with on the phone and we did everything together. We bought matching pants, sweaters, and even did stuff for each other that we never did in other friendships. I miss her so much..
I'm glad that other people have experienced this. I left for military training for one semester, and when I got back, I had to go through a slow, drawn out process of realizing all my best friends dropped me. It was so painful. It has been 5 months now and I am still grieving it and I had to unadd them all on social becuase it hurts to much seeing them all hanging out without me, not even 5 mins away from my house (when they all go to school 45mins away from me). I ended up transferring schools becuase of this.
I’m so lucky because going through the friendship breakups my other friends were there for me through thick and thin, they would let me vent and gave a cherished advice on how to move forward. It allowed me to see who is truly my friend and made it easier to move on❤
Friendship breakups are much harder in my opinion. I’m going through a friendship “breakup” it’s not really a breakup EXACTLY we basically said “let’s take a break” but I love this girl so much i can’t even explain I dont know what to do!! We’re both ignoring each other atm 😢
I had been suffering from friendship trauma for nearly 7 years. But fortunately, I found this video. Thanks a lot for the sharing, and I also greatly appreciate whoever leaves the comments. After going through the comments, my heart is lighter, and I feel like I'm not alone. 💕
I love your vulnerability and honesty about your own emotions. It is relieving and very cathartic for me as I am going thru a friend breakup. thank you ❤
So thankful for this video and the comment section! Going through it rn and tbh it’s just a horrible experience. I saw her as my best friend and now she’s becoming close to someone else
AHHHHHHH Thank youuu!!
I NEEDED THIS
I've been so nostalgic lately over a recent friendship that has ended
On a usual day I don't really think about her but now because i'm missing so many people, she comes to mind.
And it is *so true* just because you're no longer friends doesn't mean you don't care🥲
Ran across your video and immediately started weeping. It's very hard to lose a friend and just to hear someone understands and to hear you say how I feel is just wheewww 😢. Thank you for making this. It's only been 2days...
my friendship with my best friend lasted over 8 years, we've known each other since we were kids and we've been through a lot together, good and bad days, and I will be forever grateful for how he helped me and for making my days happier when I lived in an abusive home and suffered from depression and anxiety. This year he started changing, started going to college, made a lot of new friends, a new boyfriend, and became more and more busy to the point of not even trying to spend the day with me on my birthday, as he preferred to go clubbing with his other friends. I remember that the thing I was most afraid of was losing his friendship, because I hate the feeling of abandonment and loneliness. But things between us weren't working out anymore even when I tried to talk about the problem and when I expressed how insecure I was, he preferred to walk away and stop talking rather than apologizing and trying to fix things. I'm still trying to get over it and move on, I can't allow him to keep treating me this way anymore, I feel humiliated dragging myself to him for crumbs of attention so even though he was my best friend it's time to embrace the end of a cycle and start putting myself first.
I'm sorry to everyone who is also going through this, we're going to be okay, and we're going to find wonderful new friendships ♡
My best friend broke up with me and my sister after 14 years of friendship, and acted like we were the ones that ended things.
It was summer 2020 and we got into an argument with her and her fiancé at the time. We apologized for our side of things and she gave a weak obligatory apology in return after she realized we had some good points. We thought we put everything behind us but then a couple months later she kicked us out of her bridal party for that argument. There’s WAY more to the story, but that’s it in a nutshell.
A book that I enjoyed reading after the breakup was Bad Best-friend by Rachel Vail. It’s for middle schoolers but it was a good read for me
Thanks for sharing!
I think for me when it's a fresh breakup I feel regret washing over me for breaking up, forgetting why it was necessary and I left in the first place.
To everyone hurting remember it's ok to feel the withdrawals of friendship, it's going to be hard and you feel pain, anger, disappointment also confusion depending if you did the breaking up or they broke up with you.
What I'm doing is remembering why it was a healthy choice and I tried my best to work on it and end it in a civil manner. If you're a people pleaser like me, you'll care more about hurting them so please give yourself a break and focus healing and pray for them to heal too.
You don't need to feel guilt for doing something for yourself :)
I think friendship breakups are harder because that’s the person I’ve connected more than someone I’ve been in a relationship with. Sometimes I wouldn’t know how to break off a friendship because it’s so confusing and it isn’t as clear as relationship break ups. When I go through something like this, my mind goes through the memories, the happy times and then the pains and bad memories, then I think about how I would feel after I would stop being friends. I’d probably feel better, but I guess I’d feel more alienated because I worry if my other friends would side with the person I cut off… so I just kinda drift away from them, and honestly that’s just as hard as well.
i lost my entire friend group last summer and some of them had been my friends since middle school. it still hurts a lot on some days, especially considering the fact that it's not just one person but rather an entire friend group. i honestly never even thought we'd ever stop being friends because we were so close and familiar with each other, so when it happened it was even more painful. one of them whom i considered my best friend literally betrayed me and turned them all against me, and all that happened after me being literally the best friend she could ever have. it may sound like its not a big deal because everyone loses friends during adolescence(and after) but i had to see them at school every single freaking day and kept getting reminded that theyre all still friends and are perfectly fine without me. and now im preparing for college, i have new friends and all but i still cant help but miss how things used to be. growing up is scary, i guess i just miss that security i used to have with them...
I had a best friend in high school that was my whole world. I know it sounds weird to say. But this person means so much to me even to this day. I’ve always had a hard time making friends and so I spent a lot of my childhood/adolescence feeling lonely. I’m 21 now and we barely talk. He helped me through so much and I really hope I did the same for him. We raised each other in a way. He saved me. He was the first person I ever truly loved and had deep feelings for. Not romantically, just as a human. The person who I am today is because of him. Nowadays we barely talk. He didn’t wish me happy birthday even though I still send him paragraphs. It hurts so much. He doesn’t care that much about me anymore and he even moved states away, got engaged, etc. I’m so happy for him and how far he has come. But I just with we could still be lifelong friends. There might still be hope but I doubt it. Thank you for reading if you got this far and I hope you get through whatever you’re going through. Take care everyone.
This is one of the most relatable videos i have seen. I relate to all the creeping and the mourning and the sadness and just feeling crazy for feeling the way i felt. I lost a best friend of six years because i got a boyfriend and didnt understand how to prioritize my time properly. I was careless about how they mightve been feeling and for some reason i started to think i would be fine without friends. The next time i thought about it i started to creep and i saw that after two months they were already going on vacation with their new friends and it was so sad to see so i removed them off of everything so i wouldnt think about it anymore and it honestly worked. I didnt think about it for another 6 months. But after those months i really missed this friendship and she even started to talk to me when we would see eachother when walking into school. I saw her at our graduation and it made me extremely sad. I debated reaching out to her many times but it wouldnt let me add her snapchat again which i just assumed that she blocked me. When i finally reached out to her to see if she was open to talk because we didnt end things on the greatest terms, we talked and caught up with eachother and it just felt so easy to talk to her again. I later found out that she was going to try to reach out to me but because i removed her on snapchat she thought i blocked her so she decided to block me as well. i told her i would be in town during my school breaks as i was moving away for college. I tried texting her frequently and she would answer a day later and we would talk. I told her that i would be in town for winter break and if she wanted to hang out and we did and i thought she had such a fun time and she said maybe we could have dinner later that night and she would text me about it but she never reached out. The next time i was going into town i asked her again and was ignored. A few weeks later i reached out to see what happened as i thought everything was going really good and she told me that she already moved on from the friendship. I guess i just dont get it. I wish i knew what made her change her mind so quick. Is it a good time to just move on and give up on trying to get the friendship back? Should I unadd her off of social media like snapchat too?
Broke up with my best friend tonight. I cried so hard. It was worth it because we both deserved better. I wish him farewell and a happy life! 5 years from now, I know I’ll miss him. And when I’m 80 and old… I’ll know that I’ll still miss him. But he and I will be ok… because I will be better than I was… for me. Moving on and honoring us, we’ve learned.
It's been almost 7 years since the breakup with my very platonic bestfriend. I cried for 3 months straight. We were bffs for 4 years, hung out every single week after our first year of friendship. She taught me to be a hugger, taught me to be one with everything in the universe and meditate, how to eat healthy, worked at the same job as me, did open mics and music with me, ect. It's been so hard for me to try to love people without being so bulldoze-ish. It comes on like, WOAH I LOVE YOU AND NOW IM READY TO COME IN- It feeeeels like I fall forward on top of people when I try to make friends with them, even If I know they wouldn't be that cool of a person to be friends with if especially if like somewhere down the line they aren't willing to grow, like I completely overlook if they are fixed minded or growth minded and oriented and just go for it but it feels like I'm clumsy. I guess that means I'm still learning. It was weird. Like imagine an ant just trudging along after getting like flicked or something. Thats how I felt for a long time.
I felt this video! My heart hurts bad and it’s so hard to move on cause I thought she was someone I would always have in my life!
Just going through one right now. I’m still trying to make sure they understand what our misunderstandings are but I think I need to let go. But one good outcome is that I learned some stuff about myself too. It’s just difficult to tell how long you should try and when to let go. Maybe we’ll be friends again but I think I’ll stop trying to make sure everything is okay. Thx for this video!! It really made me feel better. yes I’m going to miss this breakup. I was all shaky trying to communicate, understand their point of view, shocked that one little thing can make them so defensive but maybe I’m being defensive about myself too. And I don’t think I should try any harder now.
I’m going through this EXACT thing right now. Best friends for 20 years. When she came at me sideways over something (was the cherry on top of many events). I was shaking with emotion and wanted so badly to defend myself and let her know I wasn’t the only one at fault - it was both of us. Instead, I opted to simply tell her “I think it’s best we go our separate ways. I wish you the best, etc.”. I drew a line in the sand. I’m not participating in this. I’m walking away. I blocked her to not afford her the power to continue the conversation and upset me; this was my right to disengage. I blocked her on iMessage and social media. She then emailed me so she could get her last 2 cents in. Sometimes you just have to be the bigger person and walk away. The hardest part for me has been knowing she doesn’t and won’t see any side but her own. In the end, that’s what’s pushes me to walk away. I drew a boundary just as I would with a domestic partner.
I hope things worked out for you. Still very fresh me on this end.
@@tarynmarie9066 after 5 month I’m doing okay. But we still have other friends in common ( I live abroad at the moment and my friend lives in our hometown with my other childhood friends) so however i try I sometimes things will pop up and I still see what they’re up to now and again. And only then it gives me a little pang, just a tiny bit.
I’ve talked about my friendship breakup with just one person, another friend who is from a completely different friend group so it wouldn’t cause any conflict. She listened to my side of the story and told me no relationship is promised for forever and it’s what happens sometimes. And I’m grateful for that because i needed someone to talk to too. But after talking to her I realized that I just need to learn to be okay with my lost friendship and go on with life. There’s nothing I can do to fix it for now and dwelling on it wouldn’t help.
I do appreciate all my memories I made with my friend and that’s all that I need to remember.
I hope you’ll feel better even if it takes time!!
Thank you for this video !! I been feeling so bad lately. I wish me and my best friend where better to each other because I truly loved her. But life happens. I am trying my best to let go of the past but it’s been hard. I wish she was still in my life but I honestly feel like she is better with out me just based off her social and I don’t want to feel like I am interrupting her peace and life she seems so happy and I am still just hurt that it was so easy for her to stop taking to me. Working on me everyday. Again thank for this video, made me feel not alone and that’s what I needed.
"I am still just hurt that it was so easy for her to stop talking to me". I feel this too hard. I rack my brain trying to understand how she can ghost me so comfortably and then seeing her socials and how "happy" she is, I wonder does she ever even think about me? Does she talk bad about me? But I need to stop for my own sake. We never know what's really going on inside people's lives and social media is so manufactured. She didn't reach out or respond to my single text (1 year post-break up), so I have to learn to accept it and move on.
My bestfriend and i broke up a few days ago. It does hurt but it wasn’t a bad break up. We just knew we needed time to grow as two separate people and I think that’s ok!!! I do miss them but maybe in the future we can reconnect and if not then that’s ok as well. I’m at the age where i’m not forcing people to be friends with me or appreciate me as a person. I do wish them the best in life and I would still very much do anything for them. But all love to anyone that’s going through it. Just know time heals all. And to not blame yourself for things that happens to everyone. We grow up and things change. ❤❤ Also much importantly self love is the best love. Treat yourself!!
I appreciate this video so much mainly because your advice is f*kin real dude. Everyone is like “just move on” or “make a new friend!” As if that’s something I can just go easily do and then be happy again. For you to reassure us that it’s ok to grieve, it’s ok to be sad, it’s ok to feel what you’re feeling is just so important to me as no one has ever told me that.
Thanks for this! Def still dealing with this and I need to just focus on myself
Ty for the vid💕
My friend of 5 years drifted away from me.
I didn’t notice it right away until 1 month of no communication. I ignored it and pretended everything was fine, that maybe she was simply busy.
But it’s been half a year now and it’s like we’re practically strangers. Idk if it was me that did something wrong. Like I had unknowingly pushed her away in some way. But I’ll never know now. It feels like it’s too late to address anything to her now.
its never 2 late bitch text her
Text her, it's a short period of time. I texted her after 2 years, do what you feel
Its never too late!
I lost 3 friends in 2 years. The most recent one was my best friend of 10 years. We were so close. We did everything together. We went to the same kinder and primary school. But in high school we had to go to different schools. She also used to live down the road from me, but a few years ago she moved to a farm so she could have horses. Fast forward now, a few years later, she does horse training, equestrian, and shows. Each day I got to hear less and less from her. She was always doing something with her horses or hanging out with her other friends. I felt undervalued in a friendship that meant the world to me. I talked to her about it and she did not care. When i talked to her about other things she did not care or understand like she used to. She had changed so much that I couldn't even recognise her. And she was ok with walking away from our friendship that gave us a childhood. We grew up together and were so close and she was willing to just give it all up and move on because she couldn't even give 5 minutes to talk to me. It broke me so hard. That shit was painful. I cried for weeks. And I'm still crying about it. I'm improving, but It still breaks me. It didn't help that she became best friends with my other ex-bestfriend.
Thank you for this video… I’ve been grieving this friendship for 6 years (we were childhood friends of 15 years prior to the breakup. I just want this to end; sometimes I don’t understand why. I don’t even think the person I miss is really the really that person… I’m just missing a memory of them.
im a super clingy person yet im very social, sometimes if im busy with other friends to focus on the other, that person leaves and it absolutely rips me to shreds to the point i contemplate stop being alive. i cant help but remember the amazing times we would have together and ide be unable to relive those happy times, the clinginess got worser from the trauma each time a close friend left, it absolutely worsened horribly when a person said they had a crush on me suddenly ghosted me for 2 months, when they came back i welcomed them with open arms but she suddenly said i ruined her life and only tried to break her and then blocked me, this was the start of 2021 and my year was ruined, now these events are replaying now, ohh godde someone pray for me
How are you doing now? Has the pain lessen? I’m so scared….I just want the pain to go away.
I'm dealing with being dumped for partners. Some of my closest friends are now in relationships and they are obsessed with their partners. I no longer exist and it's very difficult to exist. My friends have literally become memories :(
I have a bff for 9 years, she never hurted me and i thing that in the future she will not. I know that all break ups are the worst and guys if someone of you had a friendship break up from the bottom of my heart i feel so sorry about you. I wish my bff will stay great:)
went through it just yesterday, i was just healing for narcissistic abuse from a previous partner and now this happened, we were friends for almost a decade... literally went through everything together, coming up together and business partners, we were also telepathic, felt like a fried soulmate. out of the blue, over something dumb this person messages me saying "boy im gone" and that was that ... like i was nothing ... its been so hard..
the first time i made a friendship breakup i was crying so much. i didn't understand why but i kept crying and crying. i really cared for that person but then they showed their true personality.
it’s a very real thing; i resonate with your experience so much!
Im glad I’m not alone about creeping on them 😭 I really do get nostalgic like even music we used to like gets to me. It’s been over a year too
So greatful for this video! I’m currently going through a love breakup and a friendship breakup. Gotta say, it really does hurt. But currently the friendship breakup hurts more because I just want to tell her that I’m going though a hard time and the reality is that I can’t. I tried to though but kept getting ignored so…
I went through a friendship break up with my friend of about a decade. I initiated the breakup because they were driving me insane. They did so many things I didn’t agree with and bad things. She didn’t care about anyone other than herself and if she cared she would be rude to everyone else. She also disrespected people. She was really never there for me when I needed a shoulder to lean on while I was her shoulder to lean on heavily. I missed the fun times of when we were younger but we both changed as people and don’t vibe. So I’ve been struggling with it because I’m still young and we were friends for almost my whole life, it’s pretty traumatic. They were also going through a lot but the way I dreaded going to school because of them told me it wasn’t just them being bad but it meant they were really not it. I also feel like I lost my spark as a person, my humor hasn’t been the same and stuff like that, im trying to find myself truly tho! I’m glad I found this video because no one talks about this, there’s so much other stuff I could say but it’s just all so much it’s hard to explain.
The difference between friendship breakups and normal breakups is that in normal breakups you wouldn’t be telling them everything, you wouldn’t have known them for as long, the memories aren’t that deep and you would usually not be too attached. Especially since you wouldn’t 100% rely on each other emotionally. Even if you did you would have your *friends* to help you through it. Whereas in a friend break up it is so much harder. This is a person you speak to all the time, you tell each other everything, you laugh, you make fond memories, you are with each other for years and you don't know how you could survive without them. And when you break up it's not usually something you can control, and you blame yourself and you regret everything. ESPECIALLY if one day they randomly block you on all social media every time you try and reach out with no explanation. Most importantly, when you lose a best friend you don't have that one person you can rely on to help get you through it. If you try and tell other people they just don't understand.
This is all coming from a person who has recently broken up with her boyfriend of 2 years and BFF of 7 years. It hurts the most because we are long distance so after my BFF blocked me there was no way of ever contacting her again. Pro-tip for comforting people: don't say “they don't deserve you” and “they are just fake” to people who have broken up with friends because you still love and care for them even more than you did before.
Thank you for this, it was needed. I’m going through this right now.
I really needed this! ☺️
I went through 2 friendship break ups at the same time and this is the first time in awhile I felt kinda down about it, things didn’t work out after the 3 of us moved out together. I eventually couldn’t handle the miscommunication/unspoken tension so I moved out one day (we also had a massive argument while we were all out) and that was the last straw for me & my friends at the time decided that was friendship over
I never regretted my decision to move out but I feel that nostalgia here and there, I was going through my phone today deleting old photos and it made me feel a lil sad thinking about all the good times. Found your video and it made me feel SO much better 💓 I guess in life some people are just meant to be there for a period of time and not forever. Grateful for the ppl I do currently have in my life but friendship break ups be rough as hellll
in the past 8 months ive lost 3 best friends and im still going through the grief of it . I can barely cope ugh
Im here because i wanted to find people that i could relate with. As much as I miss the friends I had, there were reasons why we couldnt be friends anymore. As much as it hurts 😢 feeling so nostalgic as i see my friends growing up and having lives and memories that im not a part of breaks my heart!
Giiirlll you are speaking my mind thank you 😭😭😭
probably 2 years since the friendship break up but it was like over time she didn't care and acted coldly towards me, didn't message me the same even when i tried messaging first
but when she was her self when we were friends, she really understood me and was there for me
she changed and i guess we don't vibe anymore - we ghosted each other
but the memories are all so beautiful - to know what it's like to have someone who understands you and you find the same things funny
Going through this right now. I'm so sad, I can't even say how much so. I felt it was going to last forever but she's just not the same for me anymore. I did the best I could. I'm going to grieve for a real long time.
I feel you. Im in the same boat as right now
Friendship breakups is the Words i’ve evner gode through, mostly because everyone needs a friend, but i am able to live without a romatic partner
I feel guilty everytime I remember that there were people I used to be really close with that I just don't talk to anymore. We went our separate ways after our time in that school was over, and we did continue communicating for a couple of years, but then it slowly faded as we got used to our new situations, met new people, and became new people (as we all do, eventually). I guess proximity really does play a huge role in maintaining friendships.
The guilt comes once in a while when I remember people who I used to hang out with everyday in the past, and then realize that I haven't thought of them in a while. I feel like a terrible person when that happens. I question myself if they even actually mattered to me in the first place if I only remember their names once or twice a month.
Very real and like u said it’s weird to talk to other friends about it
Our friendship ended not because of us, but our district. We were best friends until that day, and that hurt worse than other friendship breakups, as we were best friends, and we never argued. I always avoid thinking of her, because I cry whenever I do so. I just want to say goodbye one last time. Isla, if you’re out there, I miss you so much. I’ll never forget you. That day, I’ve never cried more than that. I hope you’re okay. I don’t even have her socials or number. I hope that I can see you again one day.