I tried the "Slow Fade". But I felt that I was being dishonest to both of us, by not admitting openly I no longer had the same level of affection or desire to hang out together. So I made the more painful break. "The Truth Will Out"
I appreciate how you’re stressing the fact that the person who you’re trying to break from isn’t always ‘toxic’. Sometimes the people are still good people, y’all are just different now. To me, that hurts the most. I’d rather HATE the person than love them so much. That would make it sooo much easier. But like you said, sometimes it’s the best thing for both you and them.
girl yes, can definitely make it harder since you have love for them. but you become such a stronger person being able to let go w love, knowing that there is something better for the both of you guys ♥️
@@betteryoubysabrina do you recommend sending a text to let them know that you’ll always care? Or just letting what is, be what it is? I’m struggling with letting go because I’m not perfect myself. But it’s time. It’s become too stressful to think about anymore and being the only one wanting to fix anything.
it’s completely normal for it to feel hard, and for guilt to come up thinking you could’ve done something better or just feeling bad in general etc. sending a text telling them you’ll always care can definitely be helpful on both sides & is something i’ve also done. they may not fully understand but that’s okay. you know what needs to be done. it’s also helpful to journal about your feelings if it’s really feeling tough to do and energetically sending love to them, yourself & the situation while also energetically cutting chords if that makes sense 🤍
This is exactly what im going through atm, my current friendship just doesn't serve me anymore. We have been friends for 9 years but as we are approaching our 30s I realise we have absolutely nothing in common anymore and nothing much to talk about but the past when we used to drink and party I also find that I am drained with every encounter we have, I just don't enjoy seeing her anymore. Thankyou for giving us the tools to be able to deal with this situation because its so hard and not spoken about enough !
it’s not fun realizing you don’t resonate w the same people you used to 😅 but you really know it’s not right for you when you feel it’s draining, & that’s great you’ve become aware of that! some people are just meant to be in a ~part~ of our lives. sending so much love for the both of you in this situation 🤍
If you find that someone drains you or that the only thing you have to talk about or that you have in common is the past, you know it's time to move on. This has happened to me before. I had a good friend for many years and it used to be that we could talk for hours about anything and everything; however, it eventually got to the point where our conversations felt forced and we had to dig for things to talk about. Then, our conversations would usually start with something like, "Hey, remember that time X number of years ago when this happened?" The past was literally all that we had to talk about. We never had any fun experiences together anymore. We had simply grown apart and had little to nothing in common any longer. It has now been a good 4 or 5 years since I've seen or even heard from this person, and we used to get together almost weekly. I doubt if I'll ever see them again.
@@jrwheeler81 it really is a journey, I'm truly learning that not everyone you start with you will finish with no matter how close you are. Its very uncomfortable and quite sad to begin with but as time goes on you realize that it was the best thing that could have possibly happened. I'm hoping the same thing happens for my situation.
What it showed me is there are more sheep than than free thinkers and most of my friends are not able to think freely and need to be told what to do. So now I fell sad that they are not on the same level as myself.
I let go of friends and the guilt is still there. also, it is very difficult to make new friends as we step into adulthood. you could address that in a new video! thank you for this one!
ask yourself, what about that situation is making you feel guilty? can you see how letting go was beneficial on all terms? release any need to feel responsible for other people’s feelings. if everything is in good intentions, there is no need. in a world of unlimited possibilities, you can attract into your life whatever you believe 🦋
I like what Sabrina said in this video and in the comment she replied to you. You just have to keep on keeping on. It’s okay to let them go. You won’t die. Focus on you 🧘🏽 And the right people will come 💚
@Louis76 I hear you, it can be hard to make friends but you’ve gotta try somewhere and sometime. Go on Facebook and find some good friends there in the free group events around the you. Pick up a hobby like photography and offer to help others with their profile photos or something. You can do it Louis. 👊🏼🙂
Some people are just plain toxic or takers and immature. Pray the Lord sends you someone who you will click with. I don't believe in the law of attraction but this is good advice. A friendship is a two way street and is mutual
I’ve out grown all my friends now I have no friends and that’s ok but it gets super lonely but now I’ve found my self and my new hobbies and things that I LIKE and now I feel like I’m ready to find MY PEOPLE ❤️
I like how she talked about when a friendship doesn’t serve you. To me, I feel like my goals and my friends goals are at a completely different level and at some point I feel they are whats blocking me from getting there. So I’m trying to build a space for myself to grow but I feel that they always are a bit clingy, and won’t understand WHY I need the space.
This is worded well. I expressed to my friend that I just need space to hyper focus on my pathway. And she feels that because we aren’t face to face it is detrimental to our friendship. It’s very clingy behavior but I don’t want to tell her that. I’ve told her I needed space because I’ve been through a lot the last few months and only I can fix it. She is trying to link up every time she is off work and gets upset when I’m not available smh 🤦🏽♀️
I agree with a lot of what you said. I'm a very creative person, and none of my friends were. At first, it wasn't a big deal but now as I am getting more serious about my creative career goals, it is hard being around people that don't share the same creative energy. I even felt jealous of my brother (also creative) who had a whole group of creative friends who would make films together, write scripts/plays -overall, they were productive with each other and were moving in the right direction. Instead I had friends that would rather drag me out to drink, date and things that didn't serve me. They weren't terrible but you're right, it's hard to 'get higher/grow in potential' with people who aren't on that frequency.
i am actually very intruiged by this because i do wonder if for creative individuals is it possible to have people close to them that are non-creative. I don't mean like everyone is in the creative industry but by nature i wonder if some element of creativity must be at the core of the people closest to us. Doesn't matter if you are an accountant, lawyer, scientist, etc.. creativity I think can be broken down into other traits and play into how people view and come at the world and i think ties a lot to emotional intelligence maybe? idk I just wonder that. because if i now take a look back and examine the people closest to me, they are all in various careers but one thing I know, they all value art and creativity and it matters to them in some capacity.
@@mor9820 I can say from personal experience that it is possible for creatives to maintain friendships with those who are more business-minded/ structured/ traditional with what they do. Just as long as they are supportive of us, have the same values, and share similar interests. For example my boyfriend is more business minded while I’m more creative but we both value respect, manners, showing kindness, listening without judging.
It is so hard sometimes to move on from a friendship. But like you said, we should always listen to our intuition. And for sure there are some that are revived later in life. The older I get, the more I cherish energetic growth in relationships even if it is hard sometimes.
I decided that in 2021 I would start to listen to my intuition and speak/act accordingly. My intuition told me I needed to let go of a couple of people in my life, so I did. It was one of the hardest things I had to do in my life, because we used to be very close. I blamed myself for months and feed off of negative self talk. I have the tendency to see everything as right or wrong and since they hadn't done anything particularly wrong, I started seeing myself as the monster. Still to this day, I sometimes fall back into the loop of self blame and self hatred, which then becomes self pity and blaming them. It's not easy at all, but I'm trying to be more patient and compassionate, both towards me and them. I love them but I had to fly way in order to love myself.
the guilt really does get to you, i’m going to be making a video on how to deal w the guilt of letting go friends so stay tuned but I totally feel you on that. remember that you’re not a bad person for bettering yourself ♥️ you’re not a bad person for stepping away from whatever doesn’t serve you. you’re not a bad person for listening to your intuition & letting yourself be guided towards things that are more aligned w your higher self. constantly forgive yourself & remind yourself of this. what you did was RIGHT. if the friendship wasn’t aligned for you, it wasn’t aligned for them either. some people are meant to just play a part in our lives, not stay in our lives forever & that’s okay 🤍
@@betteryoubysabrina thank you so much for the kind words, I really appreciate it! 🤍 I can't wait to see that video, I'm sure it will help a lot of people. I'm grateful that the universe brought you into my life!
Tu és eu neste momento. Como nunca me fizeram nenhum mal e eram amigas há muito tempo, sinto-me um monstro. Mas na verdade, estamos a fazer o melhor para nós. Ainda choro pelo facto de nao me identificar mais com amizades que achava que eram para a vida...infelizmente nem tudo é um conto de fadas.
@@jessicaribeiro8928 Acredita que aos poucos tudo isto melhora. Começas a perceber que não é natural manter todas as amizades de infância/juventude para o resto da vida. As pessoas mudam, passam por experiências diferentes, evoluem em sentidos distintos. Com o tempo poderás entender racionalmente as razões desse afastamento. Pode levar meses ou anos. Ou podes até nunca entender com a mente. Mas a alma entende, o teu corpo energético e astral tem todas as respostas. Aceitar o que é tal como é e confiar em ti e no Universo (ou no que acreditas) é o necessário para acalmar essas dores e curar essas feridas. U got this 🤍
If you love someone, set them free. You then allow yourself and them to grow. Life is all about growth and at the end of the day we have to let go of each other anyway. Don't cry because it's over but smile because it happened.
It's funny how the people you hang out with the most are the habits you start copying. You won't notice but others will first. My mom noticed this with me, i was picking up lazy bad habits and it was affecting my future and the plans I was making. When she told me I was offended but when I took a step back i realized she was right. I'm slowly hanging out with them less and less and since doing that i have been working a little harder and elevating more. This video was perfect, every other video only talked about toxic friends and drama this and drama that. I needed something like this, something about a person who is trying to better themselves and because of that they are outgrowing their friends.
Girl, this is EXACTLY what I'm going through in my life right now... for the past month, I've been searching for videos on this topic nonstop... glad I found yours. I do feel super guilty and am now in the grieving process but I know that this is the best decision for me. It's still hard. I quit drinking completely to become a life coach among other things and I don't resonate with my friends anymore...
Friends are overrated, being alone with silence, no distractions. Just you and solitude. That's how you get to know YOU. When all is said and done towards the end all we have is ourselves, we need to be at peace with that.
Being alone to get to know yourself *is* definitely important and to be at peace with who you are, but I also think that we as humans need community - to be picky about who we let in, but making sure we still allow others in 🤎
friends are definitely not overrated, this is probably the best bond you create on earth. we need alone time just like we need to be with other human beings. you can’t spend your whole life alone, it’s proven that loneliness leads to diseases and serious problems. we are social creatures and we need people around us in order to function normally and basically not go insane. i can partly agree with you on “all we have is ourselves”, but in the same time i truly believe that it’s never only you. there are people who’ll always be there for you, root for you and love you till the very end. they’re not many, but they exist.
This is kind of what's been happening to me. Our friend group is splitting up and I often felt excluded. And when I hung out with them I felt myself turning back into this old version of me. And I was tired of hearing them talk about only themselves the whole time, and always the same negative things. I know that I'm starting to feel resentment towards them, so now I'm searching for healthy, mature ways to let go of them, to finally move on.
And that’s totally okay!! I’m glad you’re recognizing that & you’re seeing that it’s healthy to step away & find more relationships that you relate to on a deeper level in this newer season of your life! 🤎
great advice......i run into old friends every once and a while ....it is the nostalgia ...i am always happy to see them.....but i know its best for me not to hang out with them much like the old days
You can also be honest and tell your friends that "Hey, I need to take a break from you". They sometimes need to know why you're avoiding them, so this thing about talking less and less to a person can be harmful if they don't understand why you're doing it.
it definitely depends on the situation but yes you’re right! it can be more beneficial at times to be straight up with them and let them know how you’re feeling & why
I have a question about this because that is what I am trying to figure out. How do I know if its better to say it or not. Because its not that I want this friend out of my life. They are just not in the same "tier" of friendship anymore. They are no longer emergency contact best friend level, they are more would love to catch up if we are in town together in a group setting kind of level for me now. and I just don't know if that is beneficial to communicate or how I would even go about doing that when she thinks we are still best friends. and I dont know if its kinder to take my space and let it happen naturally. i am truly at a crossroads.
Wow great video!! I really needed this, i’ve been holding on to a friendship that i’ve outgrown for so long. I’m getting very tired of dodging them & having here and there pointless interactions. I started applying healthy habits ; mindfulness ; leaving things that don’t serve me ; etc. While they were still doing/saying the same things. it’s so much harder to let go of someone you know is a good person and had great memories with. My intuition has been nagging me constantly, so i slowly distant myself. it’s working. i wish that person nothing but good fortune and hope they find reflections of themselves in other individuals.
so glad you resonated 🤍🤍 i went through the same thing 😫 but it feels so freeing to walk away from things/people that no longer serve you! also stay tuned for part 2 i’m going to be posting soon! it goes more in depth of how to find new friendships that you align with after leaving outgrown friendships, and it should also help 🥰
@@betteryoubysabrinaI couldn’t agree more! Definitely liberating releasing the weight of outgrowing past friends. Oh wow, Awesome! I will be looking forward to part 2, would love some insight on how to attract friendships that i can vibrate with 😇💖 thank you again!
You give me the courage to let go of friends that really doesn’t serve me, I have been ignoring this idea for a long time but I feel this is the right time to do it.. to attract new things that really serve me. I definitely support this. Cuz we just live once so why would ever waste our time and energy with people who doesn’t give us the energy we really need?
exactly! our energy is so precious & who we spend our time with affects us so much more than we realize 👏🏼 mustering up the courage to step away is the hardest part. you’ll thank yourself later for it 🥰
This video resonates so much with me! It’s true not every time we cut off the person they’re toxic, sometimes we just outgrow them and they outgrow us.
I've struggled with this understanding in the past that friendships come and go as we maneuver through different stages of life. It's a natural process but can be super painful to come to grips with. I've come to terms with this over going through a period of grieving. Now I feel better and more confident about letting some friendships go. Often the longer you are away from the person the easier it is to identify why they are no longer a good fit for your life.
Exactly ❤this is what I am processing. My friend group of the last five years changed. So now I am so not into it .. going to take some time and later get back into some other group and start over
your friends will hold you back if you let them its the crab in the bucket syndrome when one crab tries to leave the bucket other crabs on the bottom pull them down. misery loves company they will annoy and drain your energy they want whats best for you but they don't want you to leave them behind. it takes a lot of balls to say no to others and yes!!! yes!!!! to your self we do need allies we need friends but when you raise your standers for living you have to say good bye, no matter how painful it feels if you have a vision follow it because if you don't you will go back down with them. always be grateful for the time you had but you really want people lifting you up giving you kind words showing you love rooting for you because when others pick you up they pick them selves up as well.
@@lightinthelantern yes when I would do good things for my self they would get in my way. And when I stopped hanging around them my life got better and they stayed the same we grew apart
Friends not ‘ serving you’ is not the right word. It’s just that you are moving in opposite directions. You need to grow a thick skin and prepare for our friends drop us too! It’s important though to not completely close the door on people completely, you never know when you’ll need them and as you get older you realise that kind people are hard to find, so be kind ( unless they are toxic or narcissistic, then I suggest you run and don’t look back!) It’s not a race, you can still go ahead, limit your contact with your current friends and make new friends. There is enough love to go around I’m sure.
I am so glad I found your video, I can relate so much! Thank you for this. I’ve been having similar thoughts lately. Most videos on RUclips talk about friendships ending because things get toxic or there’s clearly a “bad friend” in the scenario. But sometimes you can just outgrow friendships even though nothing was wrong and nobody did anything bad! People grow and change, interests and hobbies change... it’s completely normal.
yes I wish it was more normalized to end friendships that you’ve just outgrown! no hate & no toxicity, just not much relation anymore 🤷🏻♀️ i’m glad you resonate 💓
Just wanted to say this video hit hard for me because I’m going through a situation where I feel I’m outgrowing my friends but I feel guilty about it. Your video helped me put things in perspective. So I just wanted to say thank you for making this. Keep it going.
i’m glad it helped you! it’s SO normal to feel the guilt when you outgrow friends. just means you’re a decent human being lol but realizing it’s for the better on all grounds is really important. your life will uplevel when you let go with love the things that don’t serve you 🙏🏼
I had to let go of a best friend of 13 years but I’ve outgrown him and it’s not the same anymore, feelings were mutual. I really thought this friendship was gonna last forever but I was naive.
I broke up a 3-year lasting friendship and it's been a whole year since, I've grown so much and so many of these things you talked about are so true. I'm in a better place now. I came here because I was feeling guilt for how I treated them when they wanted to separate. I wasn't ready to! But I don't hold it against them now and it really is true that you love your friends even after leaving them. I appreciate those 3 years so much more than I could have when I was friends with them.
I've had friends end friendships with me without any explanation, and I can honestly say, it is one of the worst experiences in the world. You are left wondering, "What happened!" And yet, had there been a discussion or explanation, if we had a talk, I would have hurt less. At the very least, there would have been less confusion and self-blame; there would've been clarity.
do you have any suggestions on how to have this conversation in the kindest way possible. I do NOT want to hurt my friends' feeling and she thus far has been my best friend.
@@mor9820 Hello. First, hurting someone and someone feeling hurt are not the same. When we are honest with people, and sincere, they may feel hurt, but it doesnt mean that we--that you--are the cause If I may ask, do you want to end this friendship, or do you want to have a tough talk with a friend?
@@behroozshahdaftar4209 that all depends if you think the friendship is worth saving than have a talk with him/her even though it's tough if you think the friendship is not worth saving than let them go
Thank you for this episode (and the comments section too). I've carried so much guilt for leaving certain friendships I've outgrown & the majority of advice I see are leaving toxic friendships/relationships, but hardly ones that say it's ok to leave ones that don't serve your growth anymore, even if they're good people. It hurts in some ways because you feel like the bad guy, but that's life
I’ve had some friendships that have died off due to lack of communication. A lot of people were in the habit of receiving messages, reading and not responding or neither. If I didn’t reach out, I’d probably never hear from them. One who I had a great friendship with drew away, got married inviting all the friends in our circle except me. That was upsetting. I’ve had to move on and cease friendships quietly
Yeah, it feels personal, but maybe it's not. People have so many complexities it is hard to mesh with all all the time. I pulled away from a group too. It changed and just not interesting right now
Thank you so much for this insight. I have been feeling guilty about wanting to part ways with people simply because we are moving in different directions. Perfectly nice people, but I find myself getting irritated because now I feel obligated about hanging out with them... so glad I am not being a bad person because I want to move on.
Yeah, it's as if it was a rule set in stone that just because you've been friends for years that it HAS to stay that way forever... I am so tired and annoyed atm and just want to disappear
This is the best video I have seen on this topic, it's not always a toxic friend, sometimes you just see less value when you hang with them. In my case I spoke directly to my friend about my concerns and they stated they will not compromise or change who they are. This is fine, but it is also fine for me to see them less often if at all.
Love this video! Literally what I’m going through right now. I’m on a journey to bettering myself in multiple ways, and I tried to take my best friend of 15 years with me. But I realized that this journey was for me, and that she and I just don’t resonate anymore. So I truly believe my ego is what’s holding on. Intuitively I know what to do. Your video has inspired me to do what’s best for me! Thank you so much! Bless you! 💕
thank you thank you thank you , i’m immensely grateful for you ‘opening up’ my courage and strength and realization to let go of my friend group. I’m still iffy about it but i KNOW i need to do this , my soul isn’t at peace. I’ll update y’all if i’ve left or not 🤞🏾💕
finding the courage to go through w it is the hardest part! your intuition knows what’s best for you, so if it doesn’t feel right - listen to your gut. you got this 💖
@@emile1271 It’s great , i immediately found a new group of friends who i cherish, and i’m not on bad terms with my ex-friends we just just don’t talk , as it should be . I’m more confident and i’ve gained many acquaintances that’ have supported me . I’m so much happier and grateful that i got the strength to finally do it . thanks for asking 💕
I've been letting go of a handful, not reaching out to them anymore, not making plans. Just wishing a happy birthday or a Christmas card, but no getting together. I wouldn't say the friendships were exactly "toxic" but more like "go nowhere" friendships; or friendships of habit, going through the motions. No hard feelings, but just not feeling it. I'm 60, but have so much energy in me and am constantly growing career-wise, and creatively. I'd rather talk about creative, fun things than gossip or talk about ailments (which people in my age group tend to focus on). My goal for 2024 is new friends. I thought it might be impossible at my age, but via my career I did meet a cool person. I invited her for coffee next week. Just like romance, friendships can also happen when you least expect it! Don't settle! ❤
Thanks for this great message Sabrina, what you said is absolutely correct about the friendships, it’s not that you’re greater than them, it’s just that you have to step away for your betterment. I’m currently going through a tough situation of letting go of a friendship, I find this video very helpful ❤
One thing I've learned in life is to accept other people's harmless choices and lifestyles instead of having to have things "resonate" with you. If you have to "resonate" with people around you its because you have a fragile self created identity your trying to protect. Don't become a square peg in a world of round holes. It doesnt lead you anywhere fun. Trust me!
Yes practicing acceptance is such a healthy thing to do! In my opinion we don’t want to surround ourselves w people we don’t resonate with though.. it will leave us feeling unfulfilled & wanting more out of our relationships
Yeah sometimes people are a bit too prissy when it comes to differences. Like newsflash, every one on the planet is unique from one another in one way or another. It doesn't mean the love isn't real. Circumstances change and that's ok.
What ever he does… it’s never “wrong” or “toxic”. But hanging out with my friend is exhausting. We are so different, from the very start actually. We don’t have all the other people in the group to fill in the other syuff anymore
I can't thank you enough this was everything I was looking for no one really talk about friendship in this way last year I let go of most of my friends and even though it felt so right sometimes I feel guilty or doubtful so your words were so helpful thank you
I really appreciate this! I feel guilt, though. I've been wrestling internally for weeks over one friend in particular and yesterday I decided that I just have to go with my gut and back off or be done with this "for now" - which helps me deal with a sense of loss and/or my own people-pleasing stuff. What it comes down to, is that I don't really have time left to sit on the phone with over-talkers who bother me in certain ways. My friends and I are all "on the spectrum", but I have chosen to really put a lot more energy into improving my life. As my life gets busier, I don't have time to sit on the phone and listen to them blather on and on and on and never do anything realistic to solve their issues.
Went trough this today ! Wanted to end a friendship with someone I know since high school nothing bad happened the energy & sprak just isnt there. They started crying and that they hope this wasnt a friendship breakup. So I just said we let it go and see how it goes. But I actually want a clean break. Its like continuing the friendship is dimishing me energetically. I dont want to hurt them. But I also want to take good care of myself. It may sound harsh but I need to do what is best for me. This is really not that easy if someone hasnt been toxic.
I totally understand this 🤍 it doesn’t sound harsh though, you do have to do what’s best for you. it’s definitely not easy, but you’re not a bad person for not resonating w the same people anymore. a clean break can make it easier especially so that person can have closure. there’s not much more you can do other than to give compassion, wish them love & let go w grace. wishing you the best in this situation ♥️♥️
This is a great video. I was feeling this way for a long time, because i've changed lots, and I've stopped some old habits and that has caused me to outgrow old friends, and I always felt guilty about it that I don't have much reasons to reach out to them, but I've made tons of new friends though.
I’m glad it resonated love 💗 you’re not a bad person for changing your habits, and if that means the same people don’t resonate w you anymore, that’s okay 💗
This is a great share Sabrina. Appreciate the perspective. You are absolutely right. Life is about change and growth. Sometimes we need to create the space in our lives for the better
Hey! Recently I cut off some friends from my life. Although I have been feeling more positive energy in my life because of it, I do still feel guilty for doing it. There are a lot of videos for people that got "broken up" with and not many trying to see the side of the people doing the "breaking up". This video helped me a lot, Thanks!
so happy for you that you made that change! it’s so normal to feel guilty ab it 😅 I actually recently released a part 3 to this series talking about how to deal with the guilt that should be able to help w this 🥰🤍
Hi Sabrina, my name is Matt Winick and I want to say that I enjoy watching your videos about lifestyle and advice about how to better improve yourself. I have autism with a learning disability. It’s hard for me having a disability because I get bullied by other people including some friends about having a disability, struggle to communicate my thoughts in different settings, and have trouble comprehending on learning different advance subjects. Also with a disability I face people getting negative about how they don’t like people who are different and don’t appreciate on who I am despite working hard to try my best. I’m able to relate to this video because I want to take a break from people including friends because I want to grow better, take a break from negativity that people put on me, and work on finding motivation. I have doing volunteering work to help feed homeless people including people who low income in A2 downtown to help me find compassion while help people, exercise to help build my body, write letters to influential people who inspire me, and do morning walks. You are very inspirational to me to find motivation when I struggle with a disability and the world on being harsh on me. Thank you for inspiring me.
i know that it’s hard but you need to cut off negative people to grow as a person, those negative people are holding you back from working on yourself. find people who accept you for who you are as a person. it’s amazing that you’re helping people in need and working on yourself, and while volunteering you might even make new friends since you guys share similar interest. i wish you the best of luck in your self discovery and self growth! 🤍
Honestly, the only video that I feel like ever made me understand and help about my friendship cuz it wasn’t “toxic” like how it can be in most cases but as for the some cases, this video was SOOOO HELPFUL! 🥺✨~
I'm going through this now. 2 friends I have known over 40 years! Lately, they don't seem to be as supportive of me as they used to be. It's time to let go and move on.
Aaaaaah this is exactly what I'm going through and I knew it was going to happen 3 years ago then lockdowns accelerated the process! Thankfully I already was creating a new friends group before hand thanks for the confirmation
You talk about this in such a mature and good hearted way. I'm very impressed by your advice, on something I've been struggling with for so long and sought out advice on many times!
I really loved your weighted analogy. I do a lot of self blame for friendships not lasting just assuming it was because of me, though it people aren’t connecting on the same level there should be no guilt letting go of those people/person! Enjoyed :)
i’m in a friendship right now that i really need to let go of. mostly because of the other person being toxic. it’s just not healthy at all. we don’t get along very well, and she isn’t a good friend to me at all. we have also just grown apart from each other over the years so i know that it’s time to let go. also i’m not talking about my bsf my bsf is AMAZING!!
Thank you so much for this, it helped me so much to understand that its okay to let go of friendships but also no one ever talks about the feeling after this like the feeling of guilt or that you made the wrong decision when you see them all together and you feel like you are missing out and i think that's the hardest part because often its for your own good that you cut off friendships you have outgrown but sometimes it hurts and you miss the friendships and start to make yourself believe that the situation was better than it actually was but i think nostalgia definitely plays a big part in that and its okay to not feel okay for awhile but ultimately its the best thing for you. I am just praying things get better and that i find friends that are right for me.
Been going through this experience often lately and this definitely made me feel better about my decision of cutting them off. Awesome video! Much needed
so glad it helped 🥰 stay tuned for part 2 of this video if you’re interested! i’m publishing it soon & it goes into why you need to cut them off & how to attract more aligned friendships 🤍
In that sort of in-between phase where I don't hold anger towards them, don't want to be around certain ppl, but am figuring out who I DO want to be around. Kind of alone but peaceful too
Ahh “the void” ✨ such a beautiful place to be. This is your time to get super specific on who you do & don’t want to have in your life! Excited for you for what’s to come 🤎
What you said at 5:21 about our old friends finding better friends well in my particular case this friend already has a whole group of other friends that’s she known for a long time that she does things with and she’s part of a group whereas I’m not and one of the reasons why I’m not communicating with her much is because I feel like as if I’m not needed because she has other friends she can turn to.
This is so helpful. I was looking around on tiktok, RUclips for the right video . I *thought* it was my Ego (false self) trying to end this friendship. But no, I tried to pretend to be 3 dimensional but I can’t pretend anymore. My vibration is different , I’m working towards 5D. It’s different. I know about so many aspects regarding Suffering , Life , etc. She doesn’t. Nothing wrong with that, but I can’t pretend to think like her anymore. I could in the past. But I can’t anymore. Thank you for this ❤️
I've had a best friend for 9 years and I've been super close to their family and everything. This past year I've found him to be pretty draining as he doesn't really go out of his way for other people and asks for favors way too much. I've found myself constantly dodging him and have felt a rush of energy, positivity, and new thoughts and ideas when i hang with other people. This never happens with him. I'm distancing myself slowly. I've found myself doing a lot of things I don't feel like doing with him because i don't want things to be awkward, i feel guilty/bad for him, etc. Time to start living for myself unapologetically. If he doesn't like the way I'm moving, its not really my problem anymore.
I am 64 and had many friends from youth and High School that I let go. No reason other than we are in different places in Life. I don't regret the fun we had but I can leave them as a great memory. Texting is great because a good way to keep in touch without all of the niceties you need to do with a phone call. Some of my friends dropped ME because I mainly text and some are mad I never want to physically get together. But I like my solo life and don't have time for drama.
You are right. I had to let my bff go of 20 years and it was not nice. I changed she hasn't and i just can't deal with lies. Butt it so hurts when you trust and they can't be honest. Butt oh well.
it’s always better to set higher standards for yourself & relationships and stay in integrity w that rather than settling for relationships that are unfulfilling in any manner. happy for you for doing what’s best for you 🤍
@@betteryoubysabrina yes butt it still hurts. I gave up a lot of people. Now it's just me and my roommate.i do have grown kids butt they have there own life now so yep it's been hard. Thank you tho. I will be careful who i pick for friends this time.
For the past 2 years, I’ve been making excuses for my best friend and her actions/behavior toward me. I went thru a lot in between, and she wasn’t really there. I had a substance abuse problem when her and I were friends. She always wanted to drink/smoke, and I wanted to stop because I ruined alot of myself because of substance abuse. But since I stopped, I stopped resonating with her. She was careless, would drive under the influence and say passive aggressive stuff, or had ill intents. I eventually just popped and lashed out through subtweeting and we ended our friendship. I feel a lot of pain, but a lot of relief. I feel like she was stuck. And I felt like I needed to grow or felt like she made me feel like a bad person when I’d speak about how her actions hurt me. She’d cry, apologize but never changed. I just got sick of it, but I didn’t know how to let her go. I felt relief when she blocked me. But I’m still in a lot pain & trying real hard not relapse. But I’m trying to figure this out, and I found this helpful video 🥺
this is the video i've been looking for! in my case i definetly felt like my friendship started to turn toxic, which made me very upset after a while. i cut them off abruptly one day, and the "breakup" if you will was harsh and I'm still trying to let it go. i hold no grudge, we just don't connect like we used to. thank you for this video
The sentence on the thumbnail of this is something I keep saying to myself about a girl I’ve been best friends with since I was 4. She has the same salt lamp in the background of the video and this video was posted on my birthday last year where she attended my birthday. I just feel like these things are a sign too me spiritually and I really needed to see this video as well. Thank you so much for this video. I hope this is a turning point in my life to grow ❤️✨❤️
I have been clearly working on myself and changing to the way i want. I became more picky and especially looking for sincerity in others towards me and themselves. When i feel or see any insincerity or smo trying to dumb me i also lose my sincerity towards them. Before this stage of my life, i was insecure, was in others energy, lack of self respect, lack of self love. Now the opposite. so it is easy to see what is lacking in others because i love myself respect myself and i dont want to waste my energy and time with things i dont resonate with anymore. So it is a bit painful because it is hard to be honest it wont make sense to them i'm sure they wont understand. So i chose to get far bit by bit or simply wont try to help them anymore wont waste my time because i know they wont get me and at this point still caring about them will be injustice to me because they dont deserve it anymore. I just want not to be close anymore and i dont want to feel hate or anger towards them. How can shake anger? I dont feel guilty.
I feel like there are so many parts of my personality I want to change and expand, and that my friend group, many of whom I’ve known since childhood unconsciously prevents me from doing so. As we have grown so accustomed to our habits that when we hang out or communicate it’s impossible to break them. I love many of these people so much, but they are holding me back, and it’s not even their fault
“Youre trying to change youre mindset you want to have a more positive outlook & you go to hang out with your friends and theyre still doing the same thing” OMG OMG OMG Finally a video that says what I’m feeling. I love my 2 friends so much but now that Im changing I feel so so so much different and I always find myself avoiding hanging out with them. And as I’m typing this you are literally taking the words out of my mouth!!
I just broke up with my friends .. I got love for them .. but I had to step away because the friendship doesn’t serve me anymore , I feel like I don’t fit it in .. I’m feeling guilty and sad
So normal to feel this way - also so proud of you for taking that step to better yourself!! Know that you’re not a bad person for stepping away from what isn’t serving you anymore, forgive yourself & let yourself process these emotions through maybe journaling & watch my part 3 of letting go of the guilt if you haven’t already as it may help! Sending so much love xx
I really appreciate this video. Ill be 30 in 3 days and had to let my best friend go of 17 years. It hurts so much and i am working on the feeling of nostalgia like you mentioned. I miss the past so much sometimes it breaks my heart. However its time to grow and the only person who is going to help with this is me. Thank you for taking the time to help me grow into a happier healthier man. With all these tools i refuse to feel the same way i did in my 20s.
Hugs to everyone going through this. I’ve been an anxiety ridden mess all day because I’m guilting myself for having these sorts of feelings - like how could I possibly cut this person off? We’ve been friends so long. However, I can tell it is no longer serving me, and may no longer be a great fit for them either. Life’s changed, things have happened, I’ve grown, they’ve stayed somewhat the same but with a more jaded twist. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my jaded days too, but I did grow out of it. I can’t have a win without making them feel like crap, so I am likely stepping away. Quietly. Very quietly. If they have questions, they can let me know. I was pretty up and down about the letting them know or not. Thanks for the advice! I will let it slowly simmer out. As you said, it may come around someday, so I won’t burn my bridges quite yet. But I will be dealing with and processing this, then in time it won’t hurt so bad.
so glad I could help 🥰 the guilt is so normal (& just means you’re a nice person) - journaling it out can help you release those feelings & help realize that it really is for the better 💓
Thank you so much for making this video! It’s so helpful. There is not enough resources about ending friendships, I feel like there are an ample amount of videos and articles focusing on toxic family or romantic relationships but hardly anything on friendships. I’ve been trying to get rid of one my friends for years, slowly distancing myself and it’s like the harder I try to distance myself the harder she tries to hold on and pull me back in. I have so much built up resentment towards her and I’m just not interested in continuing a close friendship anymore. She sends me messages crying saying how much she misses me and I’ve literally used every excuse in the book and it’s like she just doesn’t get it. I really don’t want to hurt her. She asked if I could at least check in with her on a phone call/ face time once a month or every other month and I don’t even want to do that. She just won’t let go. And what makes it so annoying is that she literally has SO many friends, lifelong childhood friends...I just don’t understand why she is so fixated on me.
so glad it helped 🥰 i’ve been in a v similar situation. fear may creep in when someone feels like they’re losing someone they love so they hold on even tighter to resist it - it sounds like in this situation it may be better to rip the bandaid off & tell her (w as much compassion as you can) that you can’t continue the friendship 😅 it’s never easy, but it’ll be such a relief for you since you’re at this point and she’ll be able to start to move past it. if the relationship isn’t good for us, it’s not good for them either - as much as they may be upset about it, it’s for the better 🤍 at the end of the day, it is what it is. the relationship isn’t serving either of you guys & the fear of letting go creates anxiety & stress on her part, but there’s only so much *you* can do about that. it’s not your fault for going in separate ways. I hope this helped 💕
@@betteryoubysabrina thank you so much for what you do and for your response. I so very much appreciate it. And you’re absolutely right. I can’t put it off any longer, the gradual distancing technique doesn’t work on everyone. (Even though i really wish it did) Thanks for talking about such an important topic so many people go through but not many talk about unless it’s some dramatic event or ultimate betrayal when that’s usually not the case.
yes I wish this topic was more talked about! walking away from friendships that don’t serve us is sometimes so necessary for our growth & overall well-being. so happy this resonated ❣️
I understand that this friendship doesn't serve you, I have been there; but I would like to say that if you dont want to be friends with them anymore, then simply write them why is that, give some explanation. For some people, distancing, as a sign of ending contact, may not be that oblivious. You are asking why they are so fixated; because they dont understand why are you acting this way, so please, be honest with them, make final step, and write what you really think. (Yeah, a respond after 7 months
Thank-you for this video. I met my friend in a support group and she hosts the program. I do a lot of work outside of the program and she has chosen to label herself according to the beliefs of this particular group. That's fine. As I have started to grow and change, I have noticed that she takes really cheap shots or even make statements that shoot down my achievements or make them seem like they're not achievements at all or if I had taken a different path my problems would have been solved ages ago...so it's like she's saying my progress isn't progress at all because it took me so long to get there. She has always had little or no empathy, but right now I just can't even talk to her without getting annoyed. I know that she has expressed to me that many people in her life have exploded on her due to some of the things she has said to them as they felt her comments were offensive. She has said she doesn't understand why people just attack her out of nowhere. I can see why now. I am not like that, but I know I have had to breathe before I respond to her on several occasions. Despite our coursework, she is still at square one....in major denial. That's fine. That's her journey. I just don't want to be there with her. I cannot. I also don't feel good at all after I speak to her. She asked me to go to dinner on Thursday when she comes to my city, I said sure. I reached out to her last week to confirm the plans and she said she's meeting other friends. I was like...ok. She said we could meet up Sunday along with someone else from our support group. I said sure, but now I don't want to. I just want to cut ties.
Outgrowing is arrogant and disadvantageous way of seeing the end of friendship, and actually shows that the person who think has grown above former friend should grow more internally. Better approach is to respect the past connection without feeling superior, understanding that both of you brought something valuable to each other, even if the connection feels different now.
I literally have that same setup with the lamp and crystal. My best friend of 17 yrs decided to break off our friendship because I set a boundary with him when he overstepped. Love the guy but I won't tolerate it. It hurt me but I understand that he is not in a good place and I won't be on the receiving end. The part where you mentioned that a weight being lifted off, after that happended I saw this random sign that said "this is the sign you were looking for" the universe is powerful. Wish him the best though..
Thank you so much, this was so genuine and real. I think it's time for me to let go, but I haven't made new friends in so long so I am scared/: I have always had the same friend for a while now but i feel like i outgrown her. btw ur beautifulllll
when you go into a new chapter of your life with optimism, expectation of positive results (ex: making new friendships), and detachment of how it will come to you - your new friends that resonate with you on your level will find you. every time you have a “scared” thought, take a deep breath & trust that they’re there and that they’ll come in divine timing 💓 hope this helps love
Every word spoken was and is exactly how and what I’ve been currently going through and if anything brought 100% peace and confirmation that my feelings are valid and real. Thank you so so much for sharing this video. This both confirmed and helped tremendously!
So grateful it’s helped you out love 🥰🤎 this was my intention to help others feel heard in this situation & to help them out in making their decisions so I’m glad you feel that way! Sending so much love xx
THIS is the video i needed, I have had toxic friendships before or just messy complicated ones and we ended on bad terms:’). However the friends i want to distance myself from now aren’t bad people at all, I love them. However i feel we just outgrown each other and have too many issues now and then to keep trying to make things work and I don’t want to end on bad terms with them. I just don’t want to put them on this pedestal no more and work on myself on my own in summer. I just feel I need change and so this video was very helpful, it’s not always for bad reasons or needs to end in a bad way.
It was really good to me to find this video! Almost a year ago I cut off two friends I really loved and I still wonder if I did well or not. In my case both were disrespectful to me in different ways and then said they were sorry ( to me it was fake because they put a lot of excuses for their behaivor and one of them didn't even listen to me when I told my feelings about the situation) after that I faded out slowly because I notice there were not real regret...they only talked to me when they needed someone to hang out with and even ghosted me constantly. And also I felt that we are in different paths now. So I stopped to answer or write to them. It hurt me a lot, because for me they were really important, but It was the best for my spirit and mind. Thank you so much again for this video.
So true. We just grew in different directions and i think we kept the friendship longer then we should, so it did end in a fight. A friendship where you feel like you are not appreciated and the other person does not understand what you feel, does hurt so much. (And, if you've grown apart, chances are they don't feel understood too). I ended it and still feel so guilty, having to find myself again.
Isn't it better to just have a closure than just to simply fade away? That almost has the same effect as ghosting. I have one friend who does this to me. She said our friendship is "lifetime," but she is slowly replying less and less. It is very clear how uninterested she is in communicating. I think it's cruel and lacks respect for the other person.
definitely depends on the situation & the relationship w the person! yes sometimes it is better to have closure, especially if you guys were very close. sometimes it’s easier for the other person if you start to fade away and then give closure so it doesn’t seem to come out of nowhere. if you weren’t insanely close to the person, sometimes the closure itself is more hurtful than just slowly fading away. every person & situation is different though so it’s important to do whatever feels most right and least hurtful to everyone involved 🤍
This is me...sad part, in all my relationships! Once I went back to school and finished, I don't have anything in common with anybody I know pretty much.
I am 44 years old and I do not really understand. You can just phase people out and leave the door open. My closest group have hanged out since we were like 15-16. My friend who have it worst when he was 20 is the one with the highest income now, who serve the best food. The guy who seemed the best we all left because he's a narcissist who never grew up. We have challenged eachother on occasion. Called out eachothers bullshit. Had fights. Made up. So many times. Every time we grew back stronger. People got their drivers license, their first apartments, got jobs, lost jobs, got girlfriends, broke up, got married, got kids, argued with their kids. They are basically my brothers now. So all those times we said we don't want to see them anymore, I am kind a happy that was a lie.
Yes , I had a friend from my school years whom I was really close to for maybe one year . Throughout the next two years in that school she remained concerned about my happiness and my family . Then we went to separate schools after graduation and we grew apart. My attempts to contact her through email and then Facebook were largely left unanswered . Initially I was disappointed but eventually I accepted that she wasn’t meant to be a long term friend . In the next school I did meet my long term friend and several others . I guess people just come and go . The friend from the first school wasn’t toxic by any means . Her priorities just changed after she entered high school . And then there were two girls from that first school who lived in my neighbour hood ( I was new to the city ) whom at first I was happy to meet and then a month later over a misinterpretation of my words , they turned against me and treated me unkindly . That can only be said as “ they have broken my heart but opened up my eyes and shown their true colours . I did not contact them for the rest of the year , nor did they stay long at that school .
This has helped me so much and I am grateful to you for posting it. Last week I broke up with a friend I've had for 38 years because I just couldn't deal with some old patterns and it got way too heavy for me to carry. I waited too long and it ended very badly with me basically laying it all out because she wouldn't give me space to work it out. Then she pushed me and I fell i to an old pattern. I feel so devastated and guilty but your presentation has made me realize that I don't have to paint myself as the bad guy. I really feel we are best off on our own paths right now, just wish it hadn't ended so poorly because I will always love her.
I tried the "Slow Fade". But I felt that I was being dishonest to both of us, by not admitting openly I no longer had the same level of affection or desire to hang out together. So I made the more painful break. "The Truth Will Out"
I appreciate how you’re stressing the fact that the person who you’re trying to break from isn’t always ‘toxic’. Sometimes the people are still good people, y’all are just different now. To me, that hurts the most. I’d rather HATE the person than love them so much. That would make it sooo much easier. But like you said, sometimes it’s the best thing for both you and them.
girl yes, can definitely make it harder since you have love for them. but you become such a stronger person being able to let go w love, knowing that there is something better for the both of you guys ♥️
@@betteryoubysabrina do you recommend sending a text to let them know that you’ll always care? Or just letting what is, be what it is? I’m struggling with letting go because I’m not perfect myself. But it’s time. It’s become too stressful to think about anymore and being the only one wanting to fix anything.
it’s completely normal for it to feel hard, and for guilt to come up thinking you could’ve done something better or just feeling bad in general etc. sending a text telling them you’ll always care can definitely be helpful on both sides & is something i’ve also done. they may not fully understand but that’s okay. you know what needs to be done. it’s also helpful to journal about your feelings if it’s really feeling tough to do and energetically sending love to them, yourself & the situation while also energetically cutting chords if that makes sense 🤍
@@betteryoubysabrina makes perfect sense, thanks again girl. Greatttt words of wisdom!
glad I could help 🥰 sending so much love xoxo
This is exactly what im going through atm, my current friendship just doesn't serve me anymore. We have been friends for 9 years but as we are approaching our 30s I realise we have absolutely nothing in common anymore and nothing much to talk about but the past when we used to drink and party I also find that I am drained with every encounter we have, I just don't enjoy seeing her anymore. Thankyou for giving us the tools to be able to deal with this situation because its so hard and not spoken about enough !
it’s not fun realizing you don’t resonate w the same people you used to 😅 but you really know it’s not right for you when you feel it’s draining, & that’s great you’ve become aware of that! some people are just meant to be in a ~part~ of our lives. sending so much love for the both of you in this situation 🤍
If you find that someone drains you or that the only thing you have to talk about or that you have in common is the past, you know it's time to move on. This has happened to me before. I had a good friend for many years and it used to be that we could talk for hours about anything and everything; however, it eventually got to the point where our conversations felt forced and we had to dig for things to talk about. Then, our conversations would usually start with something like, "Hey, remember that time X number of years ago when this happened?" The past was literally all that we had to talk about. We never had any fun experiences together anymore. We had simply grown apart and had little to nothing in common any longer. It has now been a good 4 or 5 years since I've seen or even heard from this person, and we used to get together almost weekly. I doubt if I'll ever see them again.
@@jrwheeler81 it really is a journey, I'm truly learning that not everyone you start with you will finish with no matter how close you are. Its very uncomfortable and quite sad to begin with but as time goes on you realize that it was the best thing that could have possibly happened. I'm hoping the same thing happens for my situation.
Exact same situation for me as well!
Dang I've been feeling like this about my bff (idek we are bff anymore tho lol)
Covid really made people start to see the truth of their lives. It has definitely helped us to grow❤ you have to let go to grow
I 100% agree 🤍
True!
That's very true. I've made some pretty drastic changes as a result. Feels good, but it wasn't without it's unpleasantness initially.
What it showed me is there are more sheep than than free thinkers and most of my friends are not able to think freely and need to be told what to do.
So now I fell sad that they are not on the same level as myself.
Yeah it’s been never ending since then for me
I let go of friends and the guilt is still there. also, it is very difficult to make new friends as we step into adulthood. you could address that in a new video! thank you for this one!
ask yourself, what about that situation is making you feel guilty? can you see how letting go was beneficial on all terms? release any need to feel responsible for other people’s feelings. if everything is in good intentions, there is no need. in a world of unlimited possibilities, you can attract into your life whatever you believe 🦋
Ι feel u
I like what Sabrina said in this video and in the comment she replied to you. You just have to keep on keeping on. It’s okay to let them go. You won’t die.
Focus on you 🧘🏽
And the right people will come 💚
@Louis76 I hear you, it can be hard to make friends but you’ve gotta try somewhere and sometime. Go on Facebook and find some good friends there in the free group events around the you. Pick up a hobby like photography and offer to help others with their profile photos or something. You can do it Louis. 👊🏼🙂
@Louis76 all love. I’m currently on the same boat. I know how it is 🙏🏼🙂
I definitely had to let go of friends as I moved into different phases in my life. And I don't regret it! It's really improved my life for the better.
Some people are just plain toxic or takers and immature. Pray the Lord sends you someone who you will click with. I don't believe in the law of attraction but this is good advice. A friendship is a two way street and is mutual
I’ve out grown all my friends now I have no friends and that’s ok but it gets super lonely but now I’ve found my self and my new hobbies and things that I LIKE and now I feel like I’m ready to find MY PEOPLE ❤️
Yesss and you WILL find them! / they will find you! They’re looking for you too 🤍
@@betteryoubysabrina ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️thank you for that I needed it
Same here love ❤❤❤
I like how she talked about when a friendship doesn’t serve you. To me, I feel like my goals and my friends goals are at a completely different level and at some point I feel they are whats blocking me from getting there. So I’m trying to build a space for myself to grow but I feel that they always are a bit clingy, and won’t understand WHY I need the space.
This is worded well. I expressed to my friend that I just need space to hyper focus on my pathway. And she feels that because we aren’t face to face it is detrimental to our friendship. It’s very clingy behavior but I don’t want to tell her that. I’ve told her I needed space because I’ve been through a lot the last few months and only I can fix it. She is trying to link up every time she is off work and gets upset when I’m not available smh 🤦🏽♀️
Sometimes you definitely feel like you need to move on. My problem is that I keep looking back. Good times etc.
They are nice memories and that will never go away. You had them and now it's time to make good memories moving forward with others
Do that and then finally move on.
I agree with a lot of what you said. I'm a very creative person, and none of my friends were. At first, it wasn't a big deal but now as I am getting more serious about my creative career goals, it is hard being around people that don't share the same creative energy. I even felt jealous of my brother (also creative) who had a whole group of creative friends who would make films together, write scripts/plays -overall, they were productive with each other and were moving in the right direction. Instead I had friends that would rather drag me out to drink, date and things that didn't serve me. They weren't terrible but you're right, it's hard to 'get higher/grow in potential' with people who aren't on that frequency.
yeess, it’s so needed to be in a group that you ~really~ connect w & can grow with on a deeper level. it changes so much 🤍
i am actually very intruiged by this because i do wonder if for creative individuals is it possible to have people close to them that are non-creative. I don't mean like everyone is in the creative industry but by nature i wonder if some element of creativity must be at the core of the people closest to us. Doesn't matter if you are an accountant, lawyer, scientist, etc.. creativity I think can be broken down into other traits and play into how people view and come at the world and i think ties a lot to emotional intelligence maybe? idk I just wonder that. because if i now take a look back and examine the people closest to me, they are all in various careers but one thing I know, they all value art and creativity and it matters to them in some capacity.
@@mor9820 I can say from personal experience that it is possible for creatives to maintain friendships with those who are more business-minded/ structured/ traditional with what they do. Just as long as they are supportive of us, have the same values, and share similar interests. For example my boyfriend is more business minded while I’m more creative but we both value respect, manners, showing kindness, listening without judging.
It is so hard sometimes to move on from a friendship. But like you said, we should always listen to our intuition. And for sure there are some that are revived later in life. The older I get, the more I cherish energetic growth in relationships even if it is hard sometimes.
I decided that in 2021 I would start to listen to my intuition and speak/act accordingly. My intuition told me I needed to let go of a couple of people in my life, so I did. It was one of the hardest things I had to do in my life, because we used to be very close. I blamed myself for months and feed off of negative self talk. I have the tendency to see everything as right or wrong and since they hadn't done anything particularly wrong, I started seeing myself as the monster. Still to this day, I sometimes fall back into the loop of self blame and self hatred, which then becomes self pity and blaming them. It's not easy at all, but I'm trying to be more patient and compassionate, both towards me and them. I love them but I had to fly way in order to love myself.
the guilt really does get to you, i’m going to be making a video on how to deal w the guilt of letting go friends so stay tuned but I totally feel you on that. remember that you’re not a bad person for bettering yourself ♥️
you’re not a bad person for stepping away from whatever doesn’t serve you. you’re not a bad person for listening to your intuition & letting yourself be guided towards things that are more aligned w your higher self. constantly forgive yourself & remind yourself of this. what you did was RIGHT. if the friendship wasn’t aligned for you, it wasn’t aligned for them either. some people are meant to just play a part in our lives, not stay in our lives forever & that’s okay 🤍
@@betteryoubysabrina thank you so much for the kind words, I really appreciate it! 🤍 I can't wait to see that video, I'm sure it will help a lot of people. I'm grateful that the universe brought you into my life!
Tu és eu neste momento. Como nunca me fizeram nenhum mal e eram amigas há muito tempo, sinto-me um monstro. Mas na verdade, estamos a fazer o melhor para nós. Ainda choro pelo facto de nao me identificar mais com amizades que achava que eram para a vida...infelizmente nem tudo é um conto de fadas.
@@jessicaribeiro8928 Acredita que aos poucos tudo isto melhora. Começas a perceber que não é natural manter todas as amizades de infância/juventude para o resto da vida. As pessoas mudam, passam por experiências diferentes, evoluem em sentidos distintos. Com o tempo poderás entender racionalmente as razões desse afastamento. Pode levar meses ou anos. Ou podes até nunca entender com a mente. Mas a alma entende, o teu corpo energético e astral tem todas as respostas. Aceitar o que é tal como é e confiar em ti e no Universo (ou no que acreditas) é o necessário para acalmar essas dores e curar essas feridas. U got this 🤍
@@ritajrg Muito obrigada Rita 🤍
If you love someone, set them free. You then allow yourself and them to grow. Life is all about growth and at the end of the day we have to let go of each other anyway. Don't cry because it's over but smile because it happened.
Agreed!! 💗
Healthy attitude. You have the memories
So true 💚
It's funny how the people you hang out with the most are the habits you start copying. You won't notice but others will first. My mom noticed this with me, i was picking up lazy bad habits and it was affecting my future and the plans I was making. When she told me I was offended but when I took a step back i realized she was right. I'm slowly hanging out with them less and less and since doing that i have been working a little harder and elevating more. This video was perfect, every other video only talked about toxic friends and drama this and drama that. I needed something like this, something about a person who is trying to better themselves and because of that they are outgrowing their friends.
Good idea.
Girl, this is EXACTLY what I'm going through in my life right now... for the past month, I've been searching for videos on this topic nonstop... glad I found yours. I do feel super guilty and am now in the grieving process but I know that this is the best decision for me. It's still hard. I quit drinking completely to become a life coach among other things and I don't resonate with my friends anymore...
can I ask why? why is it you ended those friendships?
Are you feeling better?
Friends are overrated, being alone with silence, no distractions. Just you and solitude. That's how you get to know YOU. When all is said and done towards the end all we have is ourselves, we need to be at peace with that.
Being alone to get to know yourself *is* definitely important and to be at peace with who you are, but I also think that we as humans need community - to be picky about who we let in, but making sure we still allow others in 🤎
friends are definitely not overrated, this is probably the best bond you create on earth. we need alone time just like we need to be with other human beings. you can’t spend your whole life alone, it’s proven that loneliness leads to diseases and serious problems. we are social creatures and we need people around us in order to function normally and basically not go insane. i can partly agree with you on “all we have is ourselves”, but in the same time i truly believe that it’s never only you. there are people who’ll always be there for you, root for you and love you till the very end. they’re not many, but they exist.
Being alone is bad for mental health and COVID proved that.
Exactly
Friends are overrated.
This is kind of what's been happening to me. Our friend group is splitting up and I often felt excluded. And when I hung out with them I felt myself turning back into this old version of me. And I was tired of hearing them talk about only themselves the whole time, and always the same negative things. I know that I'm starting to feel resentment towards them, so now I'm searching for healthy, mature ways to let go of them, to finally move on.
And that’s totally okay!! I’m glad you’re recognizing that & you’re seeing that it’s healthy to step away & find more relationships that you relate to on a deeper level in this newer season of your life! 🤎
great advice......i run into old friends every once and a while ....it is the nostalgia ...i am always happy to see them.....but i know its best for me not to hang out with them much like the old days
You can also be honest and tell your friends that "Hey, I need to take a break from you". They sometimes need to know why you're avoiding them, so this thing about talking less and less to a person can be harmful if they don't understand why you're doing it.
it definitely depends on the situation but yes you’re right! it can be more beneficial at times to be straight up with them and let them know how you’re feeling & why
I agree... its better to be upfront about it. I get not wanting a dramatic break, but that's like a boyfriend suddenly ghosting you.
I have a question about this because that is what I am trying to figure out. How do I know if its better to say it or not. Because its not that I want this friend out of my life. They are just not in the same "tier" of friendship anymore. They are no longer emergency contact best friend level, they are more would love to catch up if we are in town together in a group setting kind of level for me now. and I just don't know if that is beneficial to communicate or how I would even go about doing that when she thinks we are still best friends. and I dont know if its kinder to take my space and let it happen naturally. i am truly at a crossroads.
@@mor9820 honestly in the same boat and don’t know what to do either.
Wow great video!! I really needed this, i’ve been holding on to a friendship that i’ve outgrown for so long. I’m getting very tired of dodging them & having here and there pointless interactions. I started applying healthy habits ; mindfulness ; leaving things that don’t serve me ; etc. While they were still doing/saying the same things. it’s so much harder to let go of someone you know is a good person and had great memories with. My intuition has been nagging me constantly, so i slowly distant myself. it’s working. i wish that person nothing but good fortune and hope they find reflections of themselves in other individuals.
so glad you resonated 🤍🤍 i went through the same thing 😫 but it feels so freeing to walk away from things/people that no longer serve you! also stay tuned for part 2 i’m going to be posting soon! it goes more in depth of how to find new friendships that you align with after leaving outgrown friendships, and it should also help 🥰
@@betteryoubysabrinaI couldn’t agree more! Definitely liberating releasing the weight of outgrowing past friends. Oh wow, Awesome! I will be looking forward to part 2, would love some insight on how to attract friendships that i can vibrate with 😇💖 thank you again!
You give me the courage to let go of friends that really doesn’t serve me, I have been ignoring this idea for a long time but I feel this is the right time to do it.. to attract new things that really serve me. I definitely support this. Cuz we just live once so why would ever waste our time and energy with people who doesn’t give us the energy we really need?
exactly! our energy is so precious & who we spend our time with affects us so much more than we realize 👏🏼 mustering up the courage to step away is the hardest part. you’ll thank yourself later for it 🥰
Yes, when you grow - you must go!
This video resonates so much with me! It’s true not every time we cut off the person they’re toxic, sometimes we just outgrow them and they outgrow us.
Yes 100%!!
I've struggled with this understanding in the past that friendships come and go as we maneuver through different stages of life. It's a natural process but can be super painful to come to grips with. I've come to terms with this over going through a period of grieving. Now I feel better and more confident about letting some friendships go. Often the longer you are away from the person the easier it is to identify why they are no longer a good fit for your life.
Exactly ❤this is what I am processing. My friend group of the last five years changed. So now I am so not into it .. going to take some time and later get back into some other group and start over
your friends will hold you back if you let them its the crab in the bucket syndrome when one crab tries to leave the bucket other crabs on the bottom pull them down. misery loves company they will annoy and drain your energy they want whats best for you but they don't want you to leave them behind. it takes a lot of balls to say no to others and yes!!! yes!!!! to your self we do need allies we need friends but when you raise your standers for living you have to say good bye, no matter how painful it feels if you have a vision follow it because if you don't you will go back down with them. always be grateful for the time you had but you really want people lifting you up giving you kind words showing you love rooting for you because when others pick you up they pick them selves up as well.
@@lightinthelantern yes when I would do good things for my self they would get in my way. And when I stopped hanging around them my life got better and they stayed the same we grew apart
This!!!!!!!!
Friends not ‘ serving you’ is not the right word. It’s just that you are moving in opposite directions. You need to grow a thick skin and prepare for our friends drop us too! It’s important though to not completely close the door on people completely, you never know when you’ll need them and as you get older you realise that kind people are hard to find, so be kind ( unless they are toxic or narcissistic, then I suggest you run and don’t look back!) It’s not a race, you can still go ahead, limit your contact with your current friends and make new friends. There is enough love to go around I’m sure.
Yeah I think it's best not close the door completely. And no one moves in 'opposite directions'. Everyone grows whether they want to or not.
Very wise ❤
I am so glad I found your video, I can relate so much! Thank you for this. I’ve been having similar thoughts lately. Most videos on RUclips talk about friendships ending because things get toxic or there’s clearly a “bad friend” in the scenario. But sometimes you can just outgrow friendships even though nothing was wrong and nobody did anything bad! People grow and change, interests and hobbies change... it’s completely normal.
yes I wish it was more normalized to end friendships that you’ve just outgrown! no hate & no toxicity, just not much relation anymore 🤷🏻♀️ i’m glad you resonate 💓
Just wanted to say this video hit hard for me because I’m going through a situation where I feel I’m outgrowing my friends but I feel guilty about it. Your video helped me put things in perspective. So I just wanted to say thank you for making this. Keep it going.
i’m glad it helped you! it’s SO normal to feel the guilt when you outgrow friends. just means you’re a decent human being lol but realizing it’s for the better on all grounds is really important. your life will uplevel when you let go with love the things that don’t serve you 🙏🏼
I had to let go of a best friend of 13 years but I’ve outgrown him and it’s not the same anymore, feelings were mutual. I really thought this friendship was gonna last forever but I was naive.
And that’s so okay!! New friendships will come that will replace it that will match that growth you’ve had and that newer direction you’re in 🤎
I broke up a 3-year lasting friendship and it's been a whole year since, I've grown so much and so many of these things you talked about are so true. I'm in a better place now. I came here because I was feeling guilt for how I treated them when they wanted to separate. I wasn't ready to! But I don't hold it against them now and it really is true that you love your friends even after leaving them. I appreciate those 3 years so much more than I could have when I was friends with them.
Yess thankyou for sharing 🤍🤍 I hope this video series was helpful for you for letting go of the guilt!
I've had friends end friendships with me without any explanation, and I can honestly say, it is one of the worst experiences in the world. You are left wondering, "What happened!" And yet, had there been a discussion or explanation, if we had a talk, I would have hurt less. At the very least, there would have been less confusion and self-blame; there would've been clarity.
I do agree that we should have that difficult conversation & give clarity for those closer friendships!
I can relate 😪💔
do you have any suggestions on how to have this conversation in the kindest way possible. I do NOT want to hurt my friends' feeling and she thus far has been my best friend.
@@mor9820 Hello. First, hurting someone and someone feeling hurt are not the same.
When we are honest with people, and sincere, they may feel hurt, but it doesnt mean that we--that you--are the cause
If I may ask, do you want to end this friendship, or do you want to have a tough talk with a friend?
@@behroozshahdaftar4209 that all depends if you think the friendship is worth saving than have a talk with him/her even though it's tough if you think the friendship is not worth saving than let them go
Thank you for this episode (and the comments section too). I've carried so much guilt for leaving certain friendships I've outgrown & the majority of advice I see are leaving toxic friendships/relationships, but hardly ones that say it's ok to leave ones that don't serve your growth anymore, even if they're good people. It hurts in some ways because you feel like the bad guy, but that's life
I’ve had some friendships that have died off due to lack of communication. A lot of people were in the habit of receiving messages, reading and not responding or neither. If I didn’t reach out, I’d probably never hear from them. One who I had a great friendship with drew away, got married inviting all the friends in our circle except me. That was upsetting. I’ve had to move on and cease friendships quietly
Yeah, it feels personal, but maybe it's not. People have so many complexities it is hard to mesh with all all the time. I pulled away from a group too. It changed and just not interesting right now
Thank you so much for this insight. I have been feeling guilty about wanting to part ways with people simply because we are moving in different directions. Perfectly nice people, but I find myself getting irritated because now I feel obligated about hanging out with them... so glad I am not being a bad person because I want to move on.
yes you’re totally ~not~ a bad person for just growing in a different direction! people change & that’s not a bad thing! so happy this helped you 🤍
So stressful... most people don't accept that friendships may naturally end, because there is no benefit or evolution.
Yeah, it's as if it was a rule set in stone that just because you've been friends for years that it HAS to stay that way forever... I am so tired and annoyed atm and just want to disappear
This is the best video I have seen on this topic, it's not always a toxic friend, sometimes you just see less value when you hang with them. In my case I spoke directly to my friend about my concerns and they stated they will not compromise or change who they are. This is fine, but it is also fine for me to see them less often if at all.
You have no idea how much I needed this. My mind was in a knot and it just untangled. Thank you.
I’m so glad it helped love 🥰
Love this video! Literally what I’m going through right now. I’m on a journey to bettering myself in multiple ways, and I tried to take my best friend of 15 years with me. But I realized that this journey was for me, and that she and I just don’t resonate anymore. So I truly believe my ego is what’s holding on. Intuitively I know what to do. Your video has inspired me to do what’s best for me! Thank you so much! Bless you! 💕
i’m so glad it was helpful 🥰 trust your intuition! you’ll be so glad you did in the end 🤍
@@betteryoubysabrina you’re absolutely right! Thank you so much again!! 💕💕
@@betteryoubysabrina Just subscribed!! 💕
@@brittreneeswaymain thankyou love! 💖
@BrittReneesWay OMG SAME !!!!
thank you thank you thank you , i’m immensely grateful for you ‘opening up’ my courage and strength and realization to let go of my friend group. I’m still iffy about it but i KNOW i need to do this , my soul isn’t at peace. I’ll update y’all if i’ve left or not 🤞🏾💕
finding the courage to go through w it is the hardest part! your intuition knows what’s best for you, so if it doesn’t feel right - listen to your gut. you got this 💖
How is it going?
@@emile1271 It’s great , i immediately found a new group of friends who i cherish, and i’m not on bad terms with my ex-friends we just just don’t talk , as it should be . I’m more confident and i’ve gained many acquaintances that’ have supported me . I’m so much happier and grateful that i got the strength to finally do it . thanks for asking 💕
@@inathi9022 I love this for you!! 🥰🤍
I've been letting go of a handful, not reaching out to them anymore, not making plans. Just wishing a happy birthday or a Christmas card, but no getting together. I wouldn't say the friendships were exactly "toxic" but more like "go nowhere" friendships; or friendships of habit, going through the motions. No hard feelings, but just not feeling it.
I'm 60, but have so much energy in me and am constantly growing career-wise, and creatively. I'd rather talk about creative, fun things than gossip or talk about ailments (which people in my age group tend to focus on).
My goal for 2024 is new friends. I thought it might be impossible at my age, but via my career I did meet a cool person. I invited her for coffee next week.
Just like romance, friendships can also happen when you least expect it!
Don't settle! ❤
Thanks for this great message Sabrina, what you said is absolutely correct about the friendships, it’s not that you’re greater than them, it’s just that you have to step away for your betterment. I’m currently going through a tough situation of letting go of a friendship, I find this video very helpful ❤
One thing I've learned in life is to accept other people's harmless choices and lifestyles instead of having to have things "resonate" with you. If you have to "resonate" with people around you its because you have a fragile self created identity your trying to protect. Don't become a square peg in a world of round holes. It doesnt lead you anywhere fun. Trust me!
Yes practicing acceptance is such a healthy thing to do! In my opinion we don’t want to surround ourselves w people we don’t resonate with though.. it will leave us feeling unfulfilled & wanting more out of our relationships
If everyone around you has nothing in common w you and you don’t agree with any of their decisions why would you want to be around them
Yeah sometimes people are a bit too prissy when it comes to differences. Like newsflash, every one on the planet is unique from one another in one way or another. It doesn't mean the love isn't real. Circumstances change and that's ok.
What ever he does… it’s never “wrong” or “toxic”. But hanging out with my friend is exhausting. We are so different, from the very start actually. We don’t have all the other people in the group to fill in the other syuff anymore
I can't thank you enough this was everything I was looking for no one really talk about friendship in this way last year I let go of most of my friends and even though it felt so right sometimes I feel guilty or doubtful so your words were so helpful thank you
so glad it was helpful 🥰
Yea
I really appreciate this! I feel guilt, though. I've been wrestling internally for weeks over one friend in particular and yesterday I decided that I just have to go with my gut and back off or be done with this "for now" - which helps me deal with a sense of loss and/or my own people-pleasing stuff.
What it comes down to, is that I don't really have time left to sit on the phone with over-talkers who bother me in certain ways. My friends and I are all "on the spectrum", but I have chosen to really put a lot more energy into improving my life. As my life gets busier, I don't have time to sit on the phone and listen to them blather on and on and on and never do anything realistic to solve their issues.
Went trough this today ! Wanted to end a friendship with someone I know since high school nothing bad happened the energy & sprak just isnt there. They started crying and that they hope this wasnt a friendship breakup. So I just said we let it go and see how it goes. But I actually want a clean break. Its like continuing the friendship is dimishing me energetically. I dont want to hurt them. But I also want to take good care of myself. It may sound harsh but I need to do what is best for me. This is really not that easy if someone hasnt been toxic.
I totally understand this 🤍 it doesn’t sound harsh though, you do have to do what’s best for you. it’s definitely not easy, but you’re not a bad person for not resonating w the same people anymore.
a clean break can make it easier especially so that person can have closure. there’s not much more you can do other than to give compassion, wish them love & let go w grace. wishing you the best in this situation ♥️♥️
This is a great video. I was feeling this way for a long time, because i've changed lots, and I've stopped some old habits and that has caused me to outgrow old friends, and I always felt guilty about it that I don't have much reasons to reach out to them, but I've made tons of new friends though.
I’m glad it resonated love 💗 you’re not a bad person for changing your habits, and if that means the same people don’t resonate w you anymore, that’s okay 💗
This is a great share Sabrina. Appreciate the perspective. You are absolutely right. Life is about change and growth. Sometimes we need to create the space in our lives for the better
Hey! Recently I cut off some friends from my life. Although I have been feeling more positive energy in my life because of it, I do still feel guilty for doing it. There are a lot of videos for people that got "broken up" with and not many trying to see the side of the people doing the "breaking up". This video helped me a lot, Thanks!
so happy for you that you made that change! it’s so normal to feel guilty ab it 😅 I actually recently released a part 3 to this series talking about how to deal with the guilt that should be able to help w this 🥰🤍
Hi Sabrina, my name is Matt Winick and I want to say that I enjoy watching your videos about lifestyle and advice about how to better improve yourself. I have autism with a learning disability. It’s hard for me having a disability because I get bullied by other people including some friends about having a disability, struggle to communicate my thoughts in different settings, and have trouble comprehending on learning different advance subjects. Also with a disability I face people getting negative about how they don’t like people who are different and don’t appreciate on who I am despite working hard to try my best. I’m able to relate to this video because I want to take a break from people including friends because I want to grow better, take a break from negativity that people put on me, and work on finding motivation. I have doing volunteering work to help feed homeless people including people who low income in A2 downtown to help me find compassion while help people, exercise to help build my body, write letters to influential people who inspire me, and do morning walks. You are very inspirational to me to find motivation when I struggle with a disability and the world on being harsh on me. Thank you for inspiring me.
i know that it’s hard but you need to cut off negative people to grow as a person, those negative people are holding you back from working on yourself. find people who accept you for who you are as a person. it’s amazing that you’re helping people in need and working on yourself, and while volunteering you might even make new friends since you guys share similar interest. i wish you the best of luck in your self discovery and self growth! 🤍
Honestly, the only video that I feel like ever made me understand and help about my friendship cuz it wasn’t “toxic” like how it can be in most cases but as for the some cases, this video was SOOOO HELPFUL! 🥺✨~
So glad it was helpful love 😸
I'm going through this now. 2 friends I have known over 40 years! Lately, they don't seem to be as supportive of me as they used to be. It's time to let go and move on.
I let them go, tried someone else, let em go, tried someone else, let em go
I'm exhausted, I give up 😂😅😊
Me too! Have enjoyed each experience, but most go away within 3-7 years anyway. Some faster than that 😂
@@karmasutra4774 it's a sad reality that people want to live like they're in a soap opera type of life, no?
Aaaaaah this is exactly what I'm going through and I knew it was going to happen 3 years ago then lockdowns accelerated the process! Thankfully I already was creating a new friends group before hand thanks for the confirmation
You talk about this in such a mature and good hearted way. I'm very impressed by your advice, on something I've been struggling with for so long and sought out advice on many times!
I’m so glad it was helpful for you 🫶🏼✨
I really loved your weighted analogy. I do a lot of self blame for friendships not lasting just assuming it was because of me, though it people aren’t connecting on the same level there should be no guilt letting go of those people/person! Enjoyed :)
i’m glad it helped 🥰
All people are users by nature, everyone has an agenda and take take take and not give.
i’m in a friendship right now that i really need to let go of. mostly because of the other person being toxic. it’s just not healthy at all. we don’t get along very well, and she isn’t a good friend to me at all. we have also just grown apart from each other over the years so i know that it’s time to let go.
also i’m not talking about my bsf my bsf is AMAZING!!
let go of whatever doesn’t serve you & blessings will come 🥰🤍
Thank you so much for this, it helped me so much to understand that its okay to let go of friendships but also no one ever talks about the feeling after this like the feeling of guilt or that you made the wrong decision when you see them all together and you feel like you are missing out and i think that's the hardest part because often its for your own good that you cut off friendships you have outgrown but sometimes it hurts and you miss the friendships and start to make yourself believe that the situation was better than it actually was but i think nostalgia definitely plays a big part in that and its okay to not feel okay for awhile but ultimately its the best thing for you. I am just praying things get better and that i find friends that are right for me.
Expect things to get better, & they will. Much love to you xx
@@betteryoubysabrina Thank you so much xx
''Looking out for everyone involved'' stuck out to me thats a great way to see it
Been going through this experience often lately and this definitely made me feel better about my decision of cutting them off. Awesome video! Much needed
so glad it helped 🥰 stay tuned for part 2 of this video if you’re interested! i’m publishing it soon & it goes into why you need to cut them off & how to attract more aligned friendships 🤍
In that sort of in-between phase where I don't hold anger towards them, don't want to be around certain ppl, but am figuring out who I DO want to be around. Kind of alone but peaceful too
Ahh “the void” ✨ such a beautiful place to be. This is your time to get super specific on who you do & don’t want to have in your life! Excited for you for what’s to come 🤎
@@betteryoubysabrina thankyou so much for the support on my journey, kind soul💚
This gave me courage and also I can explain to them without actually harming them
What you said at 5:21 about our old friends finding better friends well in my particular case this friend already has a whole group of other friends that’s she known for a long time that she does things with and she’s part of a group whereas I’m not and one of the reasons why I’m not communicating with her much is because I feel like as if I’m not needed because she has other friends she can turn to.
This is so helpful. I was looking around on tiktok, RUclips for the right video . I *thought* it was my Ego (false self) trying to end this friendship. But no, I tried to pretend to be 3 dimensional but I can’t pretend anymore. My vibration is different , I’m working towards 5D. It’s different. I know about so many aspects regarding Suffering , Life , etc. She doesn’t. Nothing wrong with that, but I can’t pretend to think like her anymore. I could in the past. But I can’t anymore. Thank you for this ❤️
So glad it could help 🥰🤍
I've had a best friend for 9 years and I've been super close to their family and everything. This past year I've found him to be pretty draining as he doesn't really go out of his way for other people and asks for favors way too much. I've found myself constantly dodging him and have felt a rush of energy, positivity, and new thoughts and ideas when i hang with other people. This never happens with him. I'm distancing myself slowly. I've found myself doing a lot of things I don't feel like doing with him because i don't want things to be awkward, i feel guilty/bad for him, etc. Time to start living for myself unapologetically. If he doesn't like the way I'm moving, its not really my problem anymore.
I am 64 and had many friends from youth and High School that I let go. No reason other than we are in different places in Life. I don't regret the fun we had but I can leave them as a great memory. Texting is great because a good way to keep in touch without all of the niceties you need to do with a phone call. Some of my friends dropped ME because I mainly text and some are mad I never want to physically get together. But I like my solo life and don't have time for drama.
I am goin thru THIS! I’m lonely sometimes but I rather not be irritated by talkin about same stuff that I’m not interested anymore 😬
I feel that!! You’re not alone 💗💗
You are right. I had to let my bff go of 20 years and it was not nice. I changed she hasn't and i just can't deal with lies. Butt it so hurts when you trust and they can't be honest. Butt oh well.
it’s always better to set higher standards for yourself & relationships and stay in integrity w that rather than settling for relationships that are unfulfilling in any manner. happy for you for doing what’s best for you 🤍
@@betteryoubysabrina yes butt it still hurts. I gave up a lot of people. Now it's just me and my roommate.i do have grown kids butt they have there own life now so yep it's been hard. Thank you tho. I will be careful who i pick for friends this time.
@@pinkyross7376 stay strong
@@betteryoubysabrina so tru
For the past 2 years, I’ve been making excuses for my best friend and her actions/behavior toward me. I went thru a lot in between, and she wasn’t really there. I had a substance abuse problem when her and I were friends. She always wanted to drink/smoke, and I wanted to stop because I ruined alot of myself because of substance abuse. But since I stopped, I stopped resonating with her. She was careless, would drive under the influence and say passive aggressive stuff, or had ill intents. I eventually just popped and lashed out through subtweeting and we ended our friendship. I feel a lot of pain, but a lot of relief. I feel like she was stuck. And I felt like I needed to grow or felt like she made me feel like a bad person when I’d speak about how her actions hurt me. She’d cry, apologize but never changed. I just got sick of it, but I didn’t know how to let her go. I felt relief when she blocked me. But I’m still in a lot pain & trying real hard not relapse. But I’m trying to figure this out, and I found this helpful video 🥺
I love this. Such great advice, so on point, honest and real. Thank you so much, can't wait to see all of your other content!
this is the video i've been looking for! in my case i definetly felt like my friendship started to turn toxic, which made me very upset after a while. i cut them off abruptly one day, and the "breakup" if you will was harsh and I'm still trying to let it go. i hold no grudge, we just don't connect like we used to. thank you for this video
i’m glad it could help 💖💖
The sentence on the thumbnail of this is something I keep saying to myself about a girl I’ve been best friends with since I was 4. She has the same salt lamp in the background of the video and this video was posted on my birthday last year where she attended my birthday. I just feel like these things are a sign too me spiritually and I really needed to see this video as well. Thank you so much for this video. I hope this is a turning point in my life to grow ❤️✨❤️
wow the synchronicities!! yes this totally will be a turning point for you!
I have been clearly working on myself and changing to the way i want. I became more picky and especially looking for sincerity in others towards me and themselves. When i feel or see any insincerity or smo trying to dumb me i also lose my sincerity towards them. Before this stage of my life, i was insecure, was in others energy, lack of self respect, lack of self love. Now the opposite. so it is easy to see what is lacking in others because i love myself respect myself and i dont want to waste my energy and time with things i dont resonate with anymore. So it is a bit painful because it is hard to be honest it wont make sense to them i'm sure they wont understand. So i chose to get far bit by bit or simply wont try to help them anymore wont waste my time because i know they wont get me and at this point still caring about them will be injustice to me because they dont deserve it anymore. I just want not to be close anymore and i dont want to feel hate or anger towards them. How can shake anger? I dont feel guilty.
I feel like there are so many parts of my personality I want to change and expand, and that my friend group, many of whom I’ve known since childhood unconsciously prevents me from doing so. As we have grown so accustomed to our habits that when we hang out or communicate it’s impossible to break them. I love many of these people so much, but they are holding me back, and it’s not even their fault
“Youre trying to change youre mindset you want to have a more positive outlook & you go to hang out with your friends and theyre still doing the same thing” OMG OMG OMG Finally a video that says what I’m feeling. I love my 2 friends so much but now that Im changing I feel so so so much different and I always find myself avoiding hanging out with them. And as I’m typing this you are literally taking the words out of my mouth!!
Soo happy you resonate 🤎🤎
I just broke up with my friends .. I got love for them .. but I had to step away because the friendship doesn’t serve me anymore , I feel like I don’t fit it in .. I’m feeling guilty and sad
So normal to feel this way - also so proud of you for taking that step to better yourself!! Know that you’re not a bad person for stepping away from what isn’t serving you anymore, forgive yourself & let yourself process these emotions through maybe journaling & watch my part 3 of letting go of the guilt if you haven’t already as it may help! Sending so much love xx
I really appreciate this video. Ill be 30 in 3 days and had to let my best friend go of 17 years. It hurts so much and i am working on the feeling of nostalgia like you mentioned. I miss the past so much sometimes it breaks my heart. However its time to grow and the only person who is going to help with this is me. Thank you for taking the time to help me grow into a happier healthier man. With all these tools i refuse to feel the same way i did in my 20s.
Hugs to everyone going through this. I’ve been an anxiety ridden mess all day because I’m guilting myself for having these sorts of feelings - like how could I possibly cut this person off? We’ve been friends so long. However, I can tell it is no longer serving me, and may no longer be a great fit for them either. Life’s changed, things have happened, I’ve grown, they’ve stayed somewhat the same but with a more jaded twist. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my jaded days too, but I did grow out of it. I can’t have a win without making them feel like crap, so I am likely stepping away. Quietly. Very quietly. If they have questions, they can let me know. I was pretty up and down about the letting them know or not. Thanks for the advice! I will let it slowly simmer out. As you said, it may come around someday, so I won’t burn my bridges quite yet. But I will be dealing with and processing this, then in time it won’t hurt so bad.
This helped me so much. Thank you. I have been struggling with doing this and have such strong feelings of guilt. Thank you for the clarity 🙏
so glad I could help 🥰 the guilt is so normal (& just means you’re a nice person) - journaling it out can help you release those feelings & help realize that it really is for the better 💓
Thank you so much for making this video! It’s so helpful. There is not enough resources about ending friendships, I feel like there are an ample amount of videos and articles focusing on toxic family or romantic relationships but hardly anything on friendships. I’ve been trying to get rid of one my friends for years, slowly distancing myself and it’s like the harder I try to distance myself the harder she tries to hold on and pull me back in. I have so much built up resentment towards her and I’m just not interested in continuing a close friendship anymore. She sends me messages crying saying how much she misses me and I’ve literally used every excuse in the book and it’s like she just doesn’t get it. I really don’t want to hurt her. She asked if I could at least check in with her on a phone call/ face time once a month or every other month and I don’t even want to do that. She just won’t let go. And what makes it so annoying is that she literally has SO many friends, lifelong childhood friends...I just don’t understand why she is so fixated on me.
so glad it helped 🥰 i’ve been in a v similar situation. fear may creep in when someone feels like they’re losing someone they love so they hold on even tighter to resist it - it sounds like in this situation it may be better to rip the bandaid off & tell her (w as much compassion as you can) that you can’t continue the friendship 😅
it’s never easy, but it’ll be such a relief for you since you’re at this point and she’ll be able to start to move past it. if the relationship isn’t good for us, it’s not good for them either - as much as they may be upset about it, it’s for the better 🤍
at the end of the day, it is what it is. the relationship isn’t serving either of you guys & the fear of letting go creates anxiety & stress on her part, but there’s only so much *you* can do about that. it’s not your fault for going in separate ways. I hope this helped 💕
@@betteryoubysabrina thank you so much for what you do and for your response. I so very much appreciate it. And you’re absolutely right. I can’t put it off any longer, the gradual distancing technique doesn’t work on everyone. (Even though i really wish it did) Thanks for talking about such an important topic so many people go through but not many talk about unless it’s some dramatic event or ultimate betrayal when that’s usually not the case.
yes I wish this topic was more talked about! walking away from friendships that don’t serve us is sometimes so necessary for our growth & overall well-being. so happy this resonated ❣️
I understand that this friendship doesn't serve you, I have been there; but I would like to say that if you dont want to be friends with them anymore, then simply write them why is that, give some explanation. For some people, distancing, as a sign of ending contact, may not be that oblivious. You are asking why they are so fixated; because they dont understand why are you acting this way, so please, be honest with them, make final step, and write what you really think. (Yeah, a respond after 7 months
@@sophiexxx455 I actually did end up writing her a letter
Thank-you for this video. I met my friend in a support group and she hosts the program. I do a lot of work outside of the program and she has chosen to label herself according to the beliefs of this particular group. That's fine. As I have started to grow and change, I have noticed that she takes really cheap shots or even make statements that shoot down my achievements or make them seem like they're not achievements at all or if I had taken a different path my problems would have been solved ages ago...so it's like she's saying my progress isn't progress at all because it took me so long to get there. She has always had little or no empathy, but right now I just can't even talk to her without getting annoyed. I know that she has expressed to me that many people in her life have exploded on her due to some of the things she has said to them as they felt her comments were offensive. She has said she doesn't understand why people just attack her out of nowhere. I can see why now. I am not like that, but I know I have had to breathe before I respond to her on several occasions. Despite our coursework, she is still at square one....in major denial. That's fine. That's her journey. I just don't want to be there with her. I cannot. I also don't feel good at all after I speak to her. She asked me to go to dinner on Thursday when she comes to my city, I said sure. I reached out to her last week to confirm the plans and she said she's meeting other friends. I was like...ok. She said we could meet up Sunday along with someone else from our support group. I said sure, but now I don't want to. I just want to cut ties.
Outgrowing is arrogant and disadvantageous way of seeing the end of friendship, and actually shows that the person who think has grown above former friend should grow more internally. Better approach is to respect the past connection without feeling superior, understanding that both of you brought something valuable to each other, even if the connection feels different now.
No one is superior babe, just going separate ways ❤️ much love xx
I literally have that same setup with the lamp and crystal. My best friend of 17 yrs decided to break off our friendship because I set a boundary with him when he overstepped. Love the guy but I won't tolerate it. It hurt me but I understand that he is not in a good place and I won't be on the receiving end. The part where you mentioned that a weight being lifted off, after that happended I saw this random sign that said "this is the sign you were looking for" the universe is powerful. Wish him the best though..
Thank you so much, this was so genuine and real. I think it's time for me to let go, but I haven't made new friends in so long so I am scared/: I have always had the same friend for a while now but i feel like i outgrown her. btw ur beautifulllll
when you go into a new chapter of your life with optimism, expectation of positive results (ex: making new friendships), and detachment of how it will come to you - your new friends that resonate with you on your level will find you.
every time you have a “scared” thought, take a deep breath & trust that they’re there and that they’ll come in divine timing 💓 hope this helps love
@@betteryoubysabrina love this advice Sabrina !
Every word spoken was and is exactly how and what I’ve been currently going through and if anything brought 100% peace and confirmation that my feelings are valid and real. Thank you so so much for sharing this video. This both confirmed and helped tremendously!
So grateful it’s helped you out love 🥰🤎 this was my intention to help others feel heard in this situation & to help them out in making their decisions so I’m glad you feel that way! Sending so much love xx
This hits home!
so glad it does! 🤍
THIS is the video i needed, I have had toxic friendships before or just messy complicated ones and we ended on bad terms:’). However the friends i want to distance myself from now aren’t bad people at all, I love them. However i feel we just outgrown each other and have too many issues now and then to keep trying to make things work and I don’t want to end on bad terms with them. I just don’t want to put them on this pedestal no more and work on myself on my own in summer. I just feel I need change and so this video was very helpful, it’s not always for bad reasons or needs to end in a bad way.
I’m so glad this video was helpful for you!! Soo many people are going through this 💘💘
It was really good to me to find this video! Almost a year ago I cut off two friends I really loved and I still wonder if I did well or not. In my case both were disrespectful to me in different ways and then said they were sorry ( to me it was fake because they put a lot of excuses for their behaivor and one of them didn't even listen to me when I told my feelings about the situation) after that I faded out slowly because I notice there were not real regret...they only talked to me when they needed someone to hang out with and even ghosted me constantly. And also I felt that we are in different paths now. So I stopped to answer or write to them. It hurt me a lot, because for me they were really important, but It was the best for my spirit and mind. Thank you so much again for this video.
you did the right thing!! so glad this video could help 💖
@@betteryoubysabrina Thank you so much for your words. :)
You’re amazing! Thanks for this message, Currently dealing with this 🤦♂️
So true. We just grew in different directions and i think we kept the friendship longer then we should, so it did end in a fight. A friendship where you feel like you are not appreciated and the other person does not understand what you feel, does hurt so much. (And, if you've grown apart, chances are they don't feel understood too). I ended it and still feel so guilty, having to find myself again.
Isn't it better to just have a closure than just to simply fade away?
That almost has the same effect as ghosting. I have one friend who does this to me. She said our friendship is "lifetime," but she is slowly replying less and less. It is very clear how uninterested she is in communicating. I think it's cruel and lacks respect for the other person.
definitely depends on the situation & the relationship w the person! yes sometimes it is better to have closure, especially if you guys were very close.
sometimes it’s easier for the other person if you start to fade away and then give closure so it doesn’t seem to come out of nowhere. if you weren’t insanely close to the person, sometimes the closure itself is more hurtful than just slowly fading away.
every person & situation is different though so it’s important to do whatever feels most right and least hurtful to everyone involved 🤍
That is definitely what is going on with my childhood friend!!! It is so imbalance that I am the only one who needs her and never a time she needs me!
It hurts like hell!
This is me...sad part, in all my relationships! Once I went back to school and finished, I don't have anything in common with anybody I know pretty much.
sounds like it’s time to attract some new people into your life that connect w you on your level 🤓
I am 44 years old and I do not really understand. You can just phase people out and leave the door open. My closest group have hanged out since we were like 15-16. My friend who have it worst when he was 20 is the one with the highest income now, who serve the best food. The guy who seemed the best we all left because he's a narcissist who never grew up. We have challenged eachother on occasion. Called out eachothers bullshit. Had fights. Made up. So many times. Every time we grew back stronger. People got their drivers license, their first apartments, got jobs, lost jobs, got girlfriends, broke up, got married, got kids, argued with their kids. They are basically my brothers now. So all those times we said we don't want to see them anymore, I am kind a happy that was a lie.
Thank you for your importand video. Its exactly that whats my situation is and I know how to deal with it.
The best video I have seen for letting a friend go.
Yes , I had a friend from my school years whom I was really close to for maybe one year . Throughout the next two years in that school she remained concerned about my happiness and my family . Then we went to separate schools after graduation and we grew apart. My attempts to contact her through email and then Facebook were largely left unanswered . Initially I was disappointed but eventually I accepted that she wasn’t meant to be a long term friend . In the next school I did meet my long term friend and several others . I guess people just come and go .
The friend from the first school wasn’t toxic by any means . Her priorities just changed after she entered high school .
And then there were two girls from that first school who lived in my neighbour hood ( I was new to the city ) whom at first I was happy to meet and then a month later over a misinterpretation of my words , they turned against me and treated me unkindly . That can only be said as “ they have broken my heart but opened up my eyes and shown their true colours . I did not contact them for the rest of the year , nor did they stay long at that school .
Right now I'm on a Glow up Mission and you've helped me . Thank you so much darling 💕
This has helped me so much and I am grateful to you for posting it. Last week I broke up with a friend I've had for 38 years because I just couldn't deal with some old patterns and it got way too heavy for me to carry. I waited too long and it ended very badly with me basically laying it all out because she wouldn't give me space to work it out. Then she pushed me and I fell i to an old pattern. I feel so devastated and guilty but your presentation has made me realize that I don't have to paint myself as the bad guy. I really feel we are best off on our own paths right now, just wish it hadn't ended so poorly because I will always love her.
Forgive yourself love!! You both were just doing the best you could, it’s not an easy circumstance to be in! Sending you sm love 💘💘
@@betteryoubysabrina Thank you for the kind words. You have really helped.