9 Signs that You Should Say Nothing and Let it Go

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  • Опубликовано: 23 ноя 2022
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    There's a time and place a way to speak up for yourself, but it's not always clear when it will be helpful and/or healthy, and when it can make things worse - or create unnecessary drama. Here you'll learn 9 different guidelines to follow the next time you're wondering if you should speak up so you can know with certainty whether or not it will be worth it.
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Комментарии • 520

  • @vyps2354
    @vyps2354 Год назад +303

    James 1:19 "Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry."

    • @beautifuldreamer8803
      @beautifuldreamer8803 Год назад +13

      Not easy at all.

    • @Deelitee
      @Deelitee Год назад +10

      @@beautifuldreamer8803 no it’s not! I’ve totally hurt people of late. It was not intentional but I’m really making a concerted effort to restrain myself. I have to put it in the idea in front of me daily. And pray for help!!

    • @grahamthomas9319
      @grahamthomas9319 Год назад +17

      @@Deelitee Your intention matters. It matters 100%. When you Choose Silence is for you not them, you are not bad. You are simply dealing with children, remember this and you will find the love you need to stabilize and guide you. The Adult in the room is always the centered one, age doesn’t matter. Maturity is measured in love. Be the adult, be the parent you wish you’d had.

    • @wannaduckfin
      @wannaduckfin Год назад +5

      Amen!

    • @laetitiaduplessis6071
      @laetitiaduplessis6071 Год назад +9

      Let's do it...never too old to learn and to change.

  • @TASconfidential
    @TASconfidential Год назад +179

    I never address crap with problematic people. Here’s why:
    1.) I don’t need their validation to admit they are wrong, because most people will never admit they are wrong.
    2.) I don’t need the closure of an apology, because most people will never apologize.
    3.) I don’t care to waste my breath telling anyone who has wronged me what they did because they already know what they did, and they already know they shouldn’t have done it.They know this, because they wouldn’t want the same thing done to them.
    Just block them, get them out of your life, and move on.

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад +1

      Thanks.... Glad you love my content chat me up💬Above⬆️✍️ I'II share with you some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment

    • @Jodeekowgirl
      @Jodeekowgirl Год назад +23

      Yes!! Well said.
      I actually did this for the first time 10 days ago with a guy I was in a relationship with.
      There was no point talking so I left, blocked and my health came back. 😳 Didn't realise he was the trigger to making me unwell. It was so covert I didn't realise. BIG lesson. 🙏🏻

    • @djames5137
      @djames5137 Год назад +11

      Absolutely YES to all 3. You nailed it!

    • @FilthyFils.musicgroup
      @FilthyFils.musicgroup Год назад +1

      My Mrs complaining how I go out with my friends and come home after being out with them a little drunk and for her its like a major thing 🙃 🙄

    • @redefinedliving5974
      @redefinedliving5974 10 месяцев назад +6

      Thank you for the clarity. Much needed!

  • @janathena7164
    @janathena7164 Год назад +122

    It becomes crystal clear that you are in a troubled marriage when you get to the point that you can't talk to your spouse about anything.

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад +1

      Thanks.... Glad you love my content chat me up💬Above⬆️✍️ I'II share with you some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment

    • @Mushroom321-
      @Mushroom321- Год назад +7

      I know that feeling!, i wish u self care..
      Hug 🤗

    • @setthetone6187
      @setthetone6187 Год назад +1

      Can relate*

    • @shawnmurray9964
      @shawnmurray9964 Год назад +3

      I feel that! I used to joke that “hello” sounds like an accusation, lol, fun stuff! Take care ❤️‍🩹

    • @sussannekeith5676
      @sussannekeith5676 8 месяцев назад +2

      Feel that

  • @rainbow9987
    @rainbow9987 Год назад +83

    I think if one has to walk on egg shells with someone, it’s time to end the relationship whether it’s friendship or romantic relationship.

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад +1

      Thanks.... Glad you love my content chat me up💬Above⬆️✍️ I'II share with you some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment

    • @malkaz9167
      @malkaz9167 Год назад +8

      That’s the problem. I can’t end the relationship. The person is a close relative.

    • @mmmsunshine5367
      @mmmsunshine5367 Год назад

      100000%%

    • @sharyllee7094
      @sharyllee7094 Год назад

      Agreed.

  • @tracirex
    @tracirex Год назад +97

    not saying anything because you are choosing not to engage in an uncomfortable conversation is life transforming. i am allowed to say nothing. one of the most valuable skills you teach. thank you.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Год назад +6

      Yes Traci! You're so welcome. This one was life changing for me too.

    • @ButterflyBeginningsCounseling
      @ButterflyBeginningsCounseling Год назад +5

      Yes! It's empowering to realize you don't have to say anything!

    • @terrikronmeyer7326
      @terrikronmeyer7326 Год назад +4

      Yeah I think I shows more Respect for yourself that they are not worth the time you gave them in the past-I’m referring to bf, ex or someone that is never there for you or a toxic person pulling your spirit down -not like a close family member or friend just had. Argument with

    • @arvion917
      @arvion917 Год назад +9

      There is a fine line, though. When you get comfortable with not facing the uncomfortable, you start to become AVOIDANT because now that comfort becomes fear. I lived the way I'm Speaking of and now I'm learning the uncomfortable isn't as bad and there are lessons by facing them

  • @rebeccajones8628
    @rebeccajones8628 Год назад +117

    Thank you for this video. It is so true.
    1) When they cannot handle feedback well.
    2) When you know that it will not make a difference. (eg people who complain).
    3) When it will make things worse. (They will use it against you or lash out).
    4) When it is unsafe (could get aggressive, dangerous or mean)
    5) When you have jot had the time to process. If you are just reacting...
    6) When you will hurt someone because you feel wounded. Do not be a doormat but stay stable and assert your boundaries.
    7) When the relationship is too superficial to withstand the comment.
    8) When it goes against someone else's boundaries.
    9) When not reacting is more powerful than getting hooked in. Don't take the bait and protect your peace.

    • @cyber_tech93
      @cyber_tech93 Год назад

      Feedback appreciated...👍
      Wanting more info and insight..?
      Whatapp the number above..
      Endeavor to reach out..💬

    • @KarenGriffith_SoulfulCoaching
      @KarenGriffith_SoulfulCoaching Год назад +5

      Number 7. That said when you’re unaware of how one sided the relationship is till it is too late simply disengage

    • @emmaleadbetter869
      @emmaleadbetter869 Год назад +4

      Number 7 they will do all they can to make you think you are the problem, very hard when this person is your mother ;/

    • @stevemiller8895
      @stevemiller8895 Год назад +5

      How about when you know the other person is a pathological narcissist and accepts no personal responsibility for their actions. Then blames you for bringing it up.

    • @Rob9mm
      @Rob9mm Год назад +4

      If #4 ever applies, you need to get this person out of your life.

  • @Mandrake591
    @Mandrake591 2 месяца назад +5

    Some survival methods: Don’t give people power they don’t deserve. If someone upsets you, pause before blurting out something you don’t mean. Stay calm and don’t raise your voice. Know your value. Never forget your value, even if you’re surrounded by people who ignore you. Leave toxic people behind. One red flag is too many. Being single has a lot of good aspects. Follow your passion. Nature walks. Confront your fears if they are proving to be a road block to progress.

  • @BlessedIndeed1
    @BlessedIndeed1 Год назад +24

    Let them miss your absence. Drives the dark side crazy. Spiritual reciprocity is so comforting.

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад +1

      Thanks.... Glad you love my content chat me up💬Above⬆️✍️ I'II share with you some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment

    • @davidstrevens9170
      @davidstrevens9170 Год назад +1

      Don't you mean 'miss your presence'?

    • @chikFromMTL
      @chikFromMTL Месяц назад +1

      Yes, grace them by your absence.

  • @juleskinkead4604
    @juleskinkead4604 2 месяца назад +5

    each time is different but often in my life.. less is more... not saying something shuts it down, done

  • @Rls1020
    @Rls1020 Год назад +21

    I have found this "intentional non-engagement" to be really effective in dealing with really aggressive, irritating people.

  • @Rls1020
    @Rls1020 Год назад +16

    I have also found that people seem to "take you more seriously" if you speak thoughtfully and intentionally instead of just merely "venting" all the time.

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад +1

      Thanks.... Glad you love my content chat me up💬Above⬆️✍️ I'II share with you some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment

    • @DMagnifyScentlady
      @DMagnifyScentlady Год назад

      I think i have to agree with this because Im the latter. I had an experience when i was a teacher. Those that I was “ terror “ of took me seriously but those I treated with smile, many forgotten me but few befriended me.

  • @leshpatty
    @leshpatty Год назад +12

    Sometimes get tired of saying nothing and putting up with the same rubbish all the time

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад +1

      Thanks.... Glad you love my content chat me up💬Above⬆️✍️ I'II share with you some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..

    • @jita14
      @jita14 Год назад

      Yes likea Dearly Beloved Bully

  • @franlawrence6954
    @franlawrence6954 Год назад +6

    I learned… that if I have to explain to a grown adult on how to be a decent and civil person as if I’m explaining to a two year old… that conversation shouldn’t even be taking place and is a total waste of time… or worse.

  • @luckyandblessed
    @luckyandblessed Год назад +15

    You should always set boundaries and speak up for yourself in a calm manner. With few words, then move on. Do not allow people to mistreat you, speak up for yourself ❤️

  • @antonboludo8886
    @antonboludo8886 Год назад +21

    Complaining has its value when it is done in the moment in order to find a solution.
    Chronic whining, however, just brings everybody down.
    Know when to speak up and when to remain silent.

    • @ermanaegle5755
      @ermanaegle5755 Год назад

      I never van figure out where the link is to view a previous talk of yours and they are so interesting.

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад +1

      @@ermanaegle5755 Thanks.... Glad you love my content chat me up💬Above⬆️✍️ I'II share with you some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..

  • @Janeway1269
    @Janeway1269 Год назад +26

    I have a hard time with some of these, because it reminds me of all the times my mother taught me not to bother saying things to shitty people because "That's just them." Growing up with that only taught an unnecessary subservience to jerks. It's true that some people never change. But sometimes you also cannot get rid of those people, so you have to be able to tell them to go eff off.

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 3 месяца назад +4

    Everyone wants to speak and feel heard.❤

  • @echopathy
    @echopathy 2 месяца назад +3

    Anything you say will be used against you.

  • @grahamthomas9319
    @grahamthomas9319 Год назад +52

    My voice was suppressed as a child lol. Definitely feel that uncomfortableness when I don’t speak. Finding my middle ground balance is a journey. I have a silver tongue, main reason I was suppressed, but realizing My voice doesn’t or even can’t solve everything is very freeing. Being a slave to vocal expression is not a step up from coerced silence. They are just different sides of the same coin. Nice thoughts thank you.

    • @moneyunshackled5711
      @moneyunshackled5711 Год назад +1

      Ok 🎉

    • @felicitygrace5113
      @felicitygrace5113 Год назад +9

      Interesting. I feel the same way. I was brought up with the concept of children are seen not heard. And i was shy and introvert so i didnt say anything. I know I had anger issues connected to this suppressing. And then spoke up bluntly with a sharp tongue. Also, now on the journey of learning the middle ground.

    • @grahamthomas9319
      @grahamthomas9319 Год назад +2

      @@felicitygrace5113 beautiful, thank you for being yourself.

  • @djames5137
    @djames5137 Год назад +2

    Some people cannot handle feedback because they’re so immature and insecure.

  • @Cranberries87
    @Cranberries87 Год назад +11

    I have two “friends” that I recently have decided to fade out of my life. I have observed some of their behaviors over time, and I have realized that they are disordered and unstable (for example, I caught one in a huge lie, one has been struggling with certain issues for nearly 15 years and hasn’t gotten stable, things like that). Because they’re disordered, I came to the conclusion that confronting them, having a chat or setting boundaries would do no good. They need more than I am able to provide. I made my observations and moved on.

  • @bethmiller9774
    @bethmiller9774 Год назад +8

    What is truly disturbing is when any of these applies to therapists. Also, one not mentioned is when the other person insists on almost total positivity, all the time.

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад +1

      Thanks.... Glad you love my content chat me up💬Above⬆️✍️ I'II share with you some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment

    • @Th3BigBoy
      @Th3BigBoy День назад

      I wish somebody would talk about this more. It's the biggest problem of my life. Sometimes I'm sad, and I'm not allowed to be, but there's no one who has ever talked about it that I've seen. Apart from you.

  • @ArtemisSilverBow
    @ArtemisSilverBow Год назад +7

    Also, when you're in a relationship with a narcissist who will use anything you say as ammunition against you. I told a friend that I felt hurt when she teased me in front of others. She upped teasing me in front of others. I began withdrawing (promptly disengaging with a narcissist only triggers their rage) from her by intentionally going on about details of subjects she found boring. She still smeared me, as narcissists do, but I cut my losses. Now, I'm much more careful and slower to let someone into my life beyond acquaintance level. Live and learn.

  • @annmariechisenga9470
    @annmariechisenga9470 Год назад +3

    I clearly understand, but it all sounds s
    like the easy way out, and allowing people to continue being bullies. Sometimes silence is a silent killer.

  • @anniebutler9588
    @anniebutler9588 Год назад +22

    Definitely the last one resonated the most for me - protecting my peace when I feel like I’m being deliberately baited in a conversation. Needed that clarity ☺️

    • @cyber_tech93
      @cyber_tech93 Год назад

      Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment.

  • @gilbrook
    @gilbrook Год назад +9

    Highly recommend Julia’s book “Drive Your Own Darn Bus”.

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад +1

      Thanks.... Glad you love my content chat me up💬Above⬆️✍️ I'II share with you some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..

  • @s.m.4198
    @s.m.4198 Год назад +4

    Also it’s how you give feedback, too. Delivery matters. Instead of saying, “Hey, can you not cut me of?” say “I hadn’t finished my point. Allow me to complete my thought, please.”

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 3 месяца назад +2

    I wouldn’t want a one-sided relationship in my life Julia.

    • @chrismcevoy2503
      @chrismcevoy2503 3 месяца назад +1

      My ex-friend Becky Keena is a very jealous person Julia.

  • @beez991
    @beez991 9 месяцев назад +6

    Usually if i care enough about the person enough to be their friend in the first place and something is really bothering me i tend to speak my truth before i walk away regardless if they get aggressive or defensive in the moment. I try to be kind of course, but direct. To me ghosting is immature and i wouldnt want to wonder why someone is not returning calls or whatever, so i try to treat others the way i want to be treated.

  • @AmanSS890
    @AmanSS890 2 месяца назад +2

    There are just some people that the minute you talk to them they just drain the energy out of you . Or if you try to ignore them they will still try to approach you energy vampires I call them .😒

  • @hieuhuynh9358
    @hieuhuynh9358 11 месяцев назад +2

    My peace is too important to me to engage in foolishness. Silence is golden!

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 3 месяца назад +2

    Sometimes you have to just listen and not give feedback.❤

  • @Mushroom321-
    @Mushroom321- Год назад +1

    Some people FEAR " FEEDBACK.. " when its merely conversation.. 🤷‍♀️

  • @TheBerkeleyBeauty
    @TheBerkeleyBeauty Год назад +18

    Man, at this point in my life, I ain lettin’ SHT go! I’ve taken the higher road all my LIFE and it’s gotten me nothing but disrespect, and a gut full of pus. You got it in you to come at me sideways, you can get this work . . . . and I feel better for it, even if you get your feelings hurt. Turnabout is always fairplay, and since you clearly weren’t concerned with hurting MY feelings, oh it’s on.

    • @human-qp1mf
      @human-qp1mf Год назад +11

      Yes, I was a doormat for years. I would go in a deep depression feel victimized. Not anymore. Iam not a victim and if I'm not being treat in a respectful way I will say something now, if I feel I need too! I try never to get angry anymore. It does happen but there has to be a damn good reason, no one can steal my peace!!

    • @TheBerkeleyBeauty
      @TheBerkeleyBeauty Год назад +4

      @@human-qp1mf - Amen. Your piece is the most important thing for your well-being. Take care of yourself, and have a safe holiday.

    • @human-qp1mf
      @human-qp1mf Год назад +2

      @@TheBerkeleyBeauty 🦃💕🙏

    • @steevo8754
      @steevo8754 2 месяца назад +1

      Yep. I’m done with people taking advantage of my kindness. Some people WILL look at those of us who are good-natured and see opportunity or lack of consideration. Nope. I just called out a relative who asked me to do a project for them. I did a bang-up job on it. Welllll… not even a thank you from them. After not a peep for three months I sent them a big, fat bill. They were shocked

  • @janinegwendolinesmith7174
    @janinegwendolinesmith7174 Год назад +5

    Yes, for some people every solution has a problem.

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад +1

      Thanks.... Glad you love my content chat me up💬Above⬆️✍️ I'II share with you some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..

  • @marilynwarbis7224
    @marilynwarbis7224 Год назад +5

    Negativity/complaining/criticising life is so very common I find, and I thank you for your advice on how to handle things when speaking out changes nothing.

  • @sweetsoul1266
    @sweetsoul1266 Год назад +10

    Man you hit it on the money with this video. I have only really recently been implementing these rules through my own mistakes and past experiences. But I have destroyed relationships by doing all these at some point in my life. I regret it looking back but I’m learning to forgive myself and move forward with more awareness, wisdom and emotional intelligence as much as I can. As the saying goes, when you know better, you do better
    Oh and only sharing when the relationship is deep enough to handle it is the biggest one for me!!

  • @jensanges
    @jensanges Год назад +5

    Don’t say something if you know someone is at a low point, or their lowest point, except I’m here for you. Anything else could make them contemplate a long walk off a short pier. Let’s hope not, but it could send them down further.

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад

      Feedback appreciated...👍
      Wanting more info and insight..?
      Whatapp the number above..
      Endeavor to reach out..💬

    • @clairejohnson6522
      @clairejohnson6522 Год назад +1

      Very thoughtful and inciteful with empathy.Wish everyone was like that.❤

  • @kimhumiston2686
    @kimhumiston2686 21 день назад

    Sometimes, you put up with somebody's crap for so long, and it's hard not to say something to lash out. Just walk away.

  • @amygalvin1799
    @amygalvin1799 Год назад +4

    Don’t give your energy to energy vampires. You aren’t changing them and you’re only hurting yourself.

    • @cyber_tech93
      @cyber_tech93 Год назад

      Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment.

  • @FaithFashionFinances
    @FaithFashionFinances Год назад +8

    Great Advice . Too many people try to push the let’s work things out mentality even if it’s clearly toxic and not going to work. I don’t always engage for this exact reason

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад +1

      Thanks.... Glad you love my content chat me up💬Above⬆️✍️ I'II share with you some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment

  • @lucyelander298
    @lucyelander298 Год назад +27

    Thank you for putting these videos out free of charge, they are so helpful.

  • @sabariel33
    @sabariel33 Год назад +5

    This video is so powerful, it is essentially teaching us how to wield empowered silence. I have been looking for this kind of advice for a long time. This helps us choose silence as an active and intentional choice, which is SO powerful and gets us out of silence that has been a default due to abuse, not speaking up, and keeps us disempowered. A huge difference, but it all comes from what happens inside and whether we intentionally choose it or not. You’ve just given me a great blueprint. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart! 💕

  • @nicktrevi2990
    @nicktrevi2990 7 месяцев назад +2

    🚩It seems like one day they gonna teach selective non-engagement and pseudo silence in schools. 🚩Sometimes intentional non-action is the way forward ❤

  • @Portia620
    @Portia620 Год назад +2

    With the majority of stuff is to not say anything! People hate truths too so best to stay silent and watch their behavior

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад

      Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment.

  • @amberv4223
    @amberv4223 Год назад +2

    That last one really resonates. I think I thought I always had to speak up but sometimes like you say silence is more powerful

  • @terriwhalen3618
    @terriwhalen3618 11 месяцев назад +2

    Absolutely! Don't react. Stay calm, cool and collected. Yes feel we all have. But we can learn self control.
    Wounding others never works, stand calm in your boundaries in a respectful way. Important.

  • @chrisdigitalartist
    @chrisdigitalartist Год назад +10

    Hi Julia! Senior Shifter Chris here! Thanks for making this follow up video!
    Although, I would like to point out, like last time, I only counted 8 guidelines? Did anyone else only catch 8 guidelines?
    I know you probably welcome feedback and suggestions, so I did email you because I did have a suggestion that might help when making RUclips videos so there isn't confusion.
    I like that 8th guideline on when NOT to say something! I think that has been helping me so that when a family member makes comments that may get under my skin, I can just choose not to engage! Such a great tip! Thanks Coach! =) Thank you for your hardworking! You are doing great!
    Here are my notes:
    • It isn't always a good idea to say something
    1. When you know that the person does not handle feedback well.
    2. When you know it is not going to make a difference.
    3. When it will actually make things worse.
    4. When we haven't had the time to calm down and process our thoughts. Stop before you say something terrible or something you will regret. Take a deep breath.
    5. When saying something is intended to hurt or harm someone else.
    6. When the relationship isn't deep enough or mature enough to handle the authenticity.
    7. When it goes against someone else's boundaries.
    8. When saying nothing is more powerful than saying something. Selective and Intentional Nonengagement.
    To those living in the USA and celebrate, Happy Thanksgiving!
    Remember always what a worthy and valued person you are!

  • @dang8807
    @dang8807 Год назад +4

    selective non-engagement can easily become the silent treatment and passive-aggressive! I have a best friend who literally have done that to me for the last 7+ months. I tried to communicate and understand and he just discarded me and ignored me. Then when I exploded due to the stonewalling, and that I saw he was streaming my chat in another discord (caught) he then finally responded back-filled an excuse which was nowhere near satisfactorily. Of course, the excuse was blaming me for "wanting to be too close" even though I made sure that he set the distance (and it was very close - called me almost everyday, sometimes multiple times/and spent days in calls at points). he shared everything to do with his life, I was his closest friend ever yet he had no problem dropping the call one day, stop inviting me completely, just out no where! I suspect he is narcissist but I don't want to think that and I really care and he's just invalided me and dehumanized me. It's been really painful.

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад +1

      Thanks.... Glad you love my content chat me up💬Above⬆️✍️ I'II share with you some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment

  • @TullyRose3790
    @TullyRose3790 Год назад

    I've listened to this 4 times and will continue to ask so until I react wisely towards situations in my life!!

  • @elsakate
    @elsakate Год назад +1

    Loved this one! It was so helpful to me! Thank you! ♡

  • @kokutetabaregu2257
    @kokutetabaregu2257 Год назад +3

    As long it is the truth and something that will help that person, Tell them. They will not like you... but, eventually, they will get it. Sometimes we all need people to tell us the truth in black and white.

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад

      Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment.

  • @elizabethsteele4633
    @elizabethsteele4633 Год назад +1

    Excellent lesson . I live in a light version of many of the things you talk about and give perspective on . I feel for those who live in a full fledged " version " of these things . Thank you for this video Julia .

  • @izawaniek2568
    @izawaniek2568 Год назад +7

    Thank you for great advice. ❤ it is often much better not to say anything and just move on. Silence and actions speak louder than words.

    • @cyber_tech93
      @cyber_tech93 Год назад

      I'm very happy,my video on RUclips is muchly impactful to you,and family 🥰

  • @claudinemontreuil747
    @claudinemontreuil747 Год назад +2

    Powerful message thanks so much💕🙏

  • @laetitiaduplessis6071
    @laetitiaduplessis6071 Год назад +1

    What a wonderful gift to found you this last day of 2022...you really make this world a better place and I like the way you rethink and pause a little after you said something when you speak. Thankyou for your advice . I needed to hear this.

  • @edwardboyle1381
    @edwardboyle1381 Год назад +1

    Thank you for this video, I really needed to watch this😊

  • @gregpatterson1427
    @gregpatterson1427 Год назад +1

    I am so thankful for you and the content you provide. Sometimes I come here for "validation" and "comfort." Wisdom always makes me feel better. 🙏

  • @sharyllee7094
    @sharyllee7094 Год назад +1

    Just stumbled across your website when I was seeking info on passive-agressiveness. You're great! Thank for the very clear, honest and useful information and your commitment to Being Yourself well and helping us, too...

  • @user-gp4kz4mg2j
    @user-gp4kz4mg2j 4 месяца назад +1

    Julia , i been following you for about a month and i have to day that Everything is very help full and changed me in a good and better way ! Thank you !

  • @NFSMAN50
    @NFSMAN50 Год назад +2

    Happy Thanksgiving Julia and chat, much love!!! I will definitely apply this forsure!!!

  • @lesliengo8347
    @lesliengo8347 Год назад +24

    All the points are very useful. Still living with my parents the one about not speaking up if the person does not handle feedback well resonates. My father is insecure and can get reactive if I try to address things with him, even if it is small and respectfully. Sadly, not addressing issues with him is making me feel like I don't have a voice and the best thing I can do is to start distancing from him. Thanks Julia for what you do.
    FYI, I believe there are 8 points listed, not 9

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Год назад +4

      You're welcome - and I hope you're able to figure out a way to collaborate with your father, if not I hope you're able to find some peace.

    • @grahamthomas9319
      @grahamthomas9319 Год назад +3

      I have found that when I accepted my role as the mature one, I began to find patience and love for my parents. If you can see their flaws(edit: and they can’t) it means you have become the parent to them. Embrace your new role, you will find you have more capacity to deal as the wise one. Just the fact that your here getting help means you are already a few steps ahead. Can you cradle the ones who really need it? Can you have patience for the stubborn ones? I have found I can outlast anyone from love. You can hate me for as long as you want, but My love will last longer.

    • @chriscoughlin9289
      @chriscoughlin9289 Год назад +1

      @@grahamthomas9319 Seeing their flaws isn’t a sign that you’ve become a parent to your parents - it doesn’t even require the presence of any kind of dysfunction between the two of you at all.
      It might only indicate that the parent is forthright enough with themselves about their flaws to hand you some perspective on their experience.
      This isn’t about pathology, but about possibility.
      it’s about showing your ‘child’ - even if he/she is an adult - that routinely looking at the road between who you were and who you are is a sign of somebody who’s comfortable in their own skin.

    • @grahamthomas9319
      @grahamthomas9319 Год назад +2

      @@chriscoughlin9289 great thoughts! It sounds like you have a lot to offer your children! They are lucky to have you. It’s good to see our own flaws as parents and admit them. It’s sounds like you have a more equal kind of relationship with your kids, that’s the ideal. Your understanding is rare and beautiful.
      In some cases when the parent is really struggling, it can tip the other direction. I edited my previous comment to make my intention clearer.
      I come from a home that was pretty dysfunctional, I have spent the last 10 years exhaustively doing self work, I have a parent who is just starting that journey. It’s an odd dynamic, but The truth is I have sat through and provided love and support through many tantrums. It’s not everyone’s experience and no it’s not ideal :) but it’s family. Lol.
      It may sound arrogant To some, but if I don’t own what I have earned, then I am offering less than I could be. What I’ve earned is inner space and patience, and it is often needed. Pain needs space and love to heal. I am happy to play that role when I can, sometimes I can’t lol, for anyone who needs it. It’s the role of the parent I never had.

    • @chriscoughlin9289
      @chriscoughlin9289 Год назад +2

      @@grahamthomas9319 And me them - only more so.
      Some days I'm the windshield, some days I'm the bug.

  • @DiannaBurchett-ym8gg
    @DiannaBurchett-ym8gg 5 месяцев назад

    Your videos give me hope. I know everything you say is Right On. I went thru abuse mental and physical. My family was my saviors. They knew I was broken and weak. For year's they spent time giving me compliments. They were determined to turn my pain into strength.
    I love them so much for never giving up on me.

  • @ChrisDavid-nn3pc
    @ChrisDavid-nn3pc Год назад +1

    It's always a pleasure to listen. Thank you Julia!!

  • @brendamaillet8052
    @brendamaillet8052 Год назад +3

    Julia, great subject & video! Thank you for your hard work 😀

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Год назад +2

      You're welcome Branda - and thank you, that means a lot.

  • @susancarroll7444
    @susancarroll7444 Год назад +1

    I’m new to your channel…….thank you so much for sharing your wise content!

  • @juliemackellar8821
    @juliemackellar8821 Год назад +1

    You are Breathing life back into my life!!!! Thank you!!

  • @tdsmtdsm
    @tdsmtdsm Год назад

    A piece of sound advice. Life saving at times. Please take it seriously. Thank you Julia.

  • @martinegagne5326
    @martinegagne5326 Год назад +11

    Excellent video! I can use the content today in my relationships! Thank you! For me, the key theme is not to respond or react when I feel bad intentions coming or to revenge. It serves absolutely no purpose!

  • @annikaczuday9916
    @annikaczuday9916 Год назад +1

    great points and helpful tips!

  • @sylvanacandela4204
    @sylvanacandela4204 Год назад

    This is awesome. I would like to add one more. Not sharing how I feel when I know it will hurt the other person. A slight variation on what has already been said.

  • @carloslopezjr7433
    @carloslopezjr7433 Год назад +1

    Thank you I’ve needed a voice to hear lately and your videos are inspiring and have helped me re set and focus

  • @theresathicthe3475
    @theresathicthe3475 Год назад +1

    Insightful and so helpful.

  • @smalltv459
    @smalltv459 9 месяцев назад +1

    First off I have to say I can relate to your mannerisms, very classy and kind> secondly, you're suggestion to purposefully CHOOSE not to engage was AWESOME. I think we always feel we have to react to seem 'alive' lol or something. But when someone keeps at me, Im gonna try that because I too agree and stand in front of that type of reality. Thank you Julia🥰!

  • @chrismcevoy2503
    @chrismcevoy2503 3 месяца назад +1

    Silence is golden Julia.❤

  • @amypatrick3965
    @amypatrick3965 Год назад +3

    Your timing is PERFECT!!!

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад +1

      Thanks.... Glad you love my content chat me up💬Above⬆️✍️ I'II share with you some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..

  • @marilynoverton8142
    @marilynoverton8142 Год назад +1

    Thank you so much, Julia! I love the idea of "intentional nonengagement." Brilliant!

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад

      Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment....

  • @BeachyTess
    @BeachyTess Год назад +6

    This is just what I needed to hear coincidently almost an hour into the New Year. Thank you Julia. Mostly all of your guidelines resonated with me. Great topic as Im in the midst of a few personal issues with people close to me.

  • @MorganJServices
    @MorganJServices Год назад +13

    Thank you so very for giving up your time on a holiday to offer support to us. This advice is timely in a spiritual sense for me.

  • @aubreyj.tennant1123
    @aubreyj.tennant1123 Год назад +3

    Absolutely brilliant communication concepts! My first listen to you and I’m all in. I didn’t know it till now but I’ve had this issue hanging over me for two weeks. You resolved it just now. ❤😊🙏🏼🤗💫✨⚡️👍

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад

      Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment....

  • @user-us7wk5ql5l
    @user-us7wk5ql5l 3 месяца назад +1

    Thank you for your insight. Good guidance!

  • @MaryM6767
    @MaryM6767 2 месяца назад +1

    A new viewer here from Canada...love your channel, Julia. Will be looking for you again!

  • @superfooddaddy
    @superfooddaddy Год назад +1

    your videos always have me in tears . thank you

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад

      Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment.

  • @mahdiyyadesai8964
    @mahdiyyadesai8964 Год назад

    I am so grateful for all you amazing videos. You have helped me so much. Especially not taking the bait. Thank you so much

  • @user-gl8gg6je6p
    @user-gl8gg6je6p 4 месяца назад

    Really good suggestions for letting it go and button your mouth, especially when it will not make a difference.

  • @gmize78
    @gmize78 Год назад +2

    I appreciate your calmness & how you phrase the responses, not allowing the need to rebut. My boundaries don’t need explanation which will eat my toxic person alive. I found your channel while looking for suggestions to close down the obsession of this person. I do not feel I have any obligation to answer ridiculous & repetitive questions. He has a one track mind, worsening by the day. He starts barraging my mother which is stressful. I look forward to future tips as I am newly subscribed to your channel😊

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад

      Feedback appreciated...👍
      Wanting more info and insight..?
      Whatapp the number above..
      Endeavor to reach out..💬

  • @jamespowell-yp9sc
    @jamespowell-yp9sc Год назад +1

    another great lesson. you are awesome

  • @WhiteWolfCZ457
    @WhiteWolfCZ457 3 месяца назад

    I really love the way you deconstruct relationships, emotions, connections and presence. Fenomenal phenomenology! Makes me connect with my own experiensies. Profound! Thank you.

  • @donnast-martin
    @donnast-martin 9 месяцев назад +1

    Good morning I am new here! Loving your messages! Donna

  • @finkfink5
    @finkfink5 11 месяцев назад +1

    All of your videos are amazing. They have helped me realize so many things about myself and others. Thank you for taking the time to help others understand and grow.

  • @ARIGROSSMAN
    @ARIGROSSMAN 4 месяца назад

    My name is Ari.. Nice to meet you Julia. When I defined narcissism with experience I just can't believe there is just so many of them,,, Over 80% of everyone..

  • @johnsantiago2272
    @johnsantiago2272 Год назад +1

    Thanks for this video. I'll probably have ti practice all your suggestions as I work with a much larger group of people now then I have ever done before. A lot of them fit into these groups and I'm sure I do too. Thanks again for the lesson.

    • @cyber_tech93
      @cyber_tech93 Год назад

      Thanks..Glad you Love My Content, Write ✍️ Me Up 💬 Above 🔝 I'll Shear You Some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment.

  • @GotGhost1970
    @GotGhost1970 Год назад

    Happy Thanksgiving Julia. You're the best.

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад +1

      Thanks.... Glad you love my content chat me up💬Above⬆️✍️ I'II share with you some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..

  • @denisf.1744
    @denisf.1744 Год назад

    Hi Precious Angel Julia,i have to say thank you for bringing this great lecture on in your video with all this great advice in these types of situations on how to handle it and what to do and what’s actually best thank you again Denny🙏Namaste

  • @monicaLynn7
    @monicaLynn7 Год назад +1

    GREAT & insightful video… 😊

  • @hajjataiwo7544
    @hajjataiwo7544 Год назад +2

    I have to watch this video again and again,thank you Julia for the lessons you are giving us,God bless you🙏🙏😘am grateful,you are changing my life

  • @Dina-ou1ft
    @Dina-ou1ft Год назад +7

    This is really relatable to me. I am really outspoken esp with the one I trust like my partner. However when I dont like something of feel like it isn’t okay for me, I always wanted to say it in the heat of moment without processing my feelings first. I thought it was better to speak up in that moment since that’s the raw emotion and the most honest one. Guess I need to hold it back, thank you for the reminder Julia

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  Год назад

      Really glad you found some important takeaways with this one!

    • @LonjeMarie7
      @LonjeMarie7 Год назад +1

      I can relate for me I am actually working on saying it with kindness as best I can in the moment ,instead of addressing the problem with someone else later.
      For me putting it off I end up festering stewing and ending up with a lot more anxiety and sometimes anger

  • @felicitygrace5113
    @felicitygrace5113 Год назад

    All of them are really good points. Ive used many, especially the last one. Number 1 reflects my father most of the time. Number 2 reflects my mother many times. I guess that is one of the reasons I live in another country.

  • @patriciamolliere2230
    @patriciamolliere2230 Год назад

    Julia Kristina, you are amazing. I've wrote a letter to my now ex partner saying all that upset me (I was unable to talk to him in person about it as he became so defensive, reactive and argumentative, raising his voice at me), in a respectful way, I addressed his poor hygiene and dishevelled appearance (he stopped making an effort with regards to his looks, compared to when we started dating), and he went mad at me, saying he felt sorry for me to be with 'such a dishevelled person' and that I needed to find a man who would be Ken doll for me. He completely weaponised that letter and used it against me. This was such a lightbulb moment for me, I realised he was so emotionally immature and that I can do better. So I apologised to him for upsetting him by writing that letter, said to him that I am taking responsibility for my words and that the letter upset him, and I walked away from him and deleted his number. Thank you for helping people like myself, You are very kind and, quite truly, an angel💜

  • @amethystthescientist7716
    @amethystthescientist7716 Год назад +1

    So good. So timely. LIKE it!

    • @cyber_tech120.
      @cyber_tech120. Год назад

      Thanks.... Glad you love my content chat me up💬Above⬆️✍️ I'II share with you some beneficial Analysis'''update & enlightenment..