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A joke isnt a joke when it's at someone else's expense, the wife wanted to make herself feel better and kept putting the husband down. The second he finally snapped back suddenly it wasnt okay
Yeah, the wife's doing a form of abuse. Verbal and emotional. Verbal on the constant "jokes" at OP's expense, and emotional with the manipulative tactics.
@@memes4life26 telling her she can't do the same as him was kind of an AH thing to say though. If it was just saying he could do it that's one thing but to say she couldn't do the same as him is a d1ck move
@@lolarichter9415 Listen again very carefully at what he actually said: 8:21 He never stated that she was incapable of doing what he does. All he said was the job he is currently doing is more complicated then the house hold work she was currently doing. He never said at all that the household work was ALL she could do. He only talked about the current situation and he only did so in a way thay refutes her "joke" claims.
The second story: the wife isnt joking. She is feeling unsuccessful and sad because she isnt following her career path. And taking it out on him by belittling him
@@AndyJade-df6dj I wasn't saying it was his fault. I'm talking about the reason behind what she is doing. Two it's not about lazy it's. It about vision, agreements and disappointments. Which she is now experiencing and taking out on her husband instead of talking to him where she is at mentally and renegotiate their lifestyle is always comeback to poor communication and emotional regulation/response.
For the second story. I don't believe OP is being a jerk at all. Op's wife keeps making jokes at his expense. And let's be honest, most household chores aren't very intellectually demanding. I've been in relationships where I've been the one taking care of the home and it isn't hard from that standpoint. Op's wife is just trying to make herself feel better rather than just communicate her dissatisfaction Edit: Most of the time I agree with the narrator, but this time around to me the narrator had some pretty had takes. Particularly story 2 and the last one.
Yeah, that's part of the double standard. It's like the stories where the husband says any little thing and people immediately jump to "he's toxic and the wife needs to run from that abusive cheating jerk", but then you hear where the wife is having an affair or something and they tell the husband "you need to try to work things out, try couples counseling" that sort of stuff. Heck I remember hearing one a while back where the dude got home from work at like 3 am and fixed some frozen shrimp and his daughter got mad saying it was hers, even though it turned out he had paid for them. Anyways, people were saying the OPs daughter needed to make a tiktok about the incident and show it to his work to get him fired and that he was an abusive jerk and they hoped his wife left him. And the sad thing is that was even after he apologized to his daughter and said for now on if there's anything in the freezer you don't want anyone else to eat, to write her name on it, otherwise it was fair game. But evidently him saying that was abusive toxic behavior. 😩 sure, there are plenty of examples of men on here that deserve the jerk score, bit enough with the double standard and call women out for the same stuff. And another thing, what's with people jumping straight to saying divorce in a lot of these? I feel like all it takes with these people is for one partner to fart in front of the other and people would cry "red flag, divorce him/her, that that's abusive behavior". 😩 anyways, sorry for the rant, it's just reddit drives me crazy sometimes, but then again the whole world's gone crazy lately 😜 😅 again sorry for the rant, I tend to ramble on sometimes. Also, I know there's a chance that no one will read this, but if you do and made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read this. You're an outstanding human being and hope you have a happy, healthy, and prosperous life 😊
@@matthewenfinger766 I agree about the double standard. And what a lot of people don't seem to realize with these stories is that many times it's just one side of the story. The person writing them tells all the bad stuff being done to them but I guarantee you most of them don't mention things THEY did & it's things bad enough that if the readers knew when reading the story would change a lot of the outcomes from what they're deemed.
@@hayleymariemillsright, except that's literally the point of throwaway accounts for AITJ? What's the point in not telling everything, otherwise you know the answer isn't being made on all the points which make those answer completely pointless. So ye, you'd expect people to mention the relevant points, or it makes no sense to even bother to post... I know confirmation bias exists, and there will always be people who lie, it is just kinda, especially pointless, in an AITA/J thread.
Story 2. While I sympathise with the wife and her situation, I believe she is the jerk for blurting off handed remarks at her partner. It is very toxic and she needed to be put down a peg. The OP did just that. Hopefully she learns to not be a snob.
Mmmm I disagree on the second story. While I do understand that what the wife said was a joke, it was at the husband’s expense and it happens multiple times. Though I don’t agree with the husbands reaction, there’s only so many jabs a person can take before the react negatively, joking or not. Plus it’s different when you’re reading about an event that happened to someone, as opposed to if YOU were to experience it.
See, it didn't even sound like she was joking to me. I was a SAHM for years and I know from personal experience, there are some that think running a household is some kind of a magical feat only they are capable of. It is weird af. 😂
Yeah honestly I don’t blame him, I think he had a decent response. While it might have been a joke, in my eyes he simply pointed out he can handle household work. I don’t see the issue there. As for the wife’s schooling, I don’t see how that matters she’s the one who interpreted it as him saying she’s stupid or something along those lines, when that’s not what’s happening there.
Second Story: I honestly don’t think he’s a jerk there. I don’t think the wife was either. However I fail to see how he was the jerk by saying that he could handle household jobs. It probably could’ve been phrased better but it just seems like a bit of a miscommunication, and I can’t fault him there…
@@DaShikuXI the problem is that Lilly doesn't have a diagnosis that has her being disabled. Und that Lilly considers herself to be disabled. Lilly is only applying for disability. There are lots of people who have chronic illnesses who are still able to work.
yeah but by the sound of it her illnesses seem to be affecting her life, and she is trying to do more stuff that she is currently doing, the mother probably left details that could make her look bad as well
@@cototototorra7106 she was taken into consideration by there being enough bedrooms for everyone. Assuming OP didn’t purposefully throw her family into squalor anything else the deadweight sleepyhead could complain about is nitpicking. Privacy invasions aside.
she doesnt need to outright neglect her daughter to be in the wrong, her daughter is handicaped with a lot of illnesses, the daughter just wanted to have a say in what was going on, a little ''oh yeah here in the apartment your sister wants the little room, i want the big one, which one do you want''
''basic chores a 11 year old could do'' yeah she is peak retairement home material, how much you bet she herself is gonna become a freeloader the moment she becomes too old to work
Honestly it sounds like Lilly's struggling enough. If there was more context explaining bad behavior from Lilly I'd be more sympathetic but the OP in that story just sounds like she doesn't want to deal with her daughter or even make an attempt to help her get on her feet
I mean, yeah, the mother was kinda a jerk. But to be honest, if you don't contribute to paying for the place you are staying at, then you really have no say in what's what when you are an adult. Disability or not, you are no longer a child. You aren't also an equal, to your own parents. You're am equal as an adult, when do you adult things, but if you are still living with your parents, then they are the authority of the household, you aren't equals.
SECOND STORY: husband said he could do it to if the roles were reversed, meaning he acknowledges that she could do what he does as well. He did not belittle her at all but tried to become equals once again after she tried putting him down and got upset when it didn't work. even with a joke like that there was some truth and feeling behind her words. This doesn't feel like a, "who is the jerk" conversation but a, "do you want to go back to school and/or start a career" conversation.
20:45 that’s the type of mom that tells you “I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it” I feel so bad for her daughters. What kind of parent views themselves as better than their disabled child? (a callous one that views their children as status symbols rather than the living breathing being that they are)
So you guys were trying to help them out and instead of being grateful for the help they screw you over. It's a shame that someone would take advantage but guess they learned a valuable lesson
So the last story I say 50/50 on the mom and daughter. Yes I understand that she has a disability and it makes things hard for her but when you you go in trying to start conflict that is a jerk move. The bathroom and bedroom debate is also the same either way because you don’t know what you could be walking into. My fiancé has a medical condition that she gets disability for and her mom and her get into fights like this more over the cleaning aspect over the money aspect. A lot of times my fiancé is the one who starts it because her mom ask her to help with something and my fiancé gives attitude back about it. So I feel 50/50 on both is reasonable.
Story 2: She ran her mouth, shouldn't cry about the response. Funny on the commentator didn't listen to the part were SHE made it out that OP could never do anything like that without her.
Story 2: we just gonna ignore making a joke at the expense of the husband's self-esteem? It's clear she was building herself up at the expense of putting him down. Not the jerk.
When I first read that the OP had "gotten kids taken", I was kinda' irritated because soooo many people use CPS as a revenge method but, in this case, 100% justified! The grandfather had already been trying to get the kids, there were obviously major issues and this probably helped those kids! Second story...no, you're not the jerk! It is absolutely ridiculous that she feels the need to try and insult you to make herself feel better! As someone who has done both, worked outside of the home and been a SAHM with four kids, if you are intelligent and set up a routine/schedule to optimize your time, energy and money, it is not as hard as some people make it out to be. It is by no means easy but to act like there is some magic trick to it is ridiculous.
Nah, if my so is constantly putting me down saying things like I wouldn't be able to live at all without her? Gloves are off at that point. That's extremely toxic behavior she's putting down.
No, the guy wasn't the jerk. He was defending himself. How come the wife can say she's better than him at what she does, and it's called a joke, but when he does it, he needs to apologize?
In story 2, you can't just assume that she was joking. Because I've been through that before, and she wasn't joking. I doubt she was joking, so he had every right because he was defending himself from her insulting him. You just assume that it was a joke, but op would know.
She doesnt get to take shots at him youre giving her too much leinency she needs talk to her husband about what she wants to do she doesnt get to disrespect him cause shes dissatisfied he maybe should have been nicer but looks like he just said yes i can do math and budget
If you read the OP's replies on Reddit, you will notice that the OP admitted that his wife wants to complete her degree. Yet, the OP dismisses it and avoids talking about it. He prefers creating a 'stable family' as the response to this... His comments in his post make it much worse than it seems
If you read the OP's replies on Reddit, you will notice that the OP admitted that his wife wants to complete her degree. Yet, the OP dismisses it and avoids talking about it. He prefers creating a 'stable family' as the response to this... His comments in his post make it much worse than it seems
heyy this comment has nothings to do with the video above but one day after i got home from work i heard a familiar voice so i followed it and guess what it was, “am i the jerk” was playing from my nephews ipad nd ik some stories arent for kids so i stayed nd watched with him for a while nd watching him be able to determine whether or not the person was in the wrong or not was amazing to see him learn whats acceptable and what isnt nd then after the videos we would sit nd talk about what we thought for like 20mins nd he’s only 8 i just wanted to say thanks you for the great content that provides learning experiences for younger generations💯
ok for the second story: I think it's likely the tone of how she said it, and if it is, it could be on either party since in my case (autistic) I would have been the same as OP was. So don't be too hard on the OP, human interaction is hard yo
Last story, no, the OP is not a jerk. There are medications and I know many disabled people that have jobs. If you don't contribut to my household you don't get a say.
So because a disabled young person can't get enough money to pay her mother rent, she does not get any right to privacy or choices about her home, and she is not an equal of her mother?
I worked in wealth mgt retirement planning. There are tons of men like this in that field. It's easy to see why she feels like he called her stupid. Being a stay at home parent can be challenging and exhausting
He said he could do what she does AFTER SHE told him he would never be able to do what she does. HE didn't say SHE couldn't go HIS job. No, SHE DID. So really, who, called who stupid?
The mother who treats her disabled daughter like trash needs a hard reality check. For those who are not disabled is hard for them to understand the limitations and challenges that come with it. The judgement and constant dismissals is unacceptable. I have them myself and have to deal with this crap too. We have come a long way when it comes to the disabled but we still have ways too go. There is also just not a lot of help or resources out there and waiting lists that are decades long that you may not live long enough to benefit from. The daughter is trying to her best to do what she can and that is really all that can be asked of her.
Opinions on the second and last story? No, the OPs in both situation weren't jerks and i feel this narrator is biased or as other people call him, "a Simp".
I agree with that first angle, as a woman, and a lesbian. Women like that are engaging in what's known as verbal abuse and emotional abuse. And people like him let them get away with it. A joke isn't a joke when the target doesn't find it funny. Unless they've done something absolutely deserving of the mockery, but even then, that has its limits. But OP is a jerk for entirely different reasons. If you go to the post and look at the comments, OP is a jerk in many regards. The wife is a jerk in this context, but he's a jerk too. this is entirely a toxic relationship. This is an ESH
@@schizophrenicmelancholy2706I'm half and half with the last story. Lilly doesn't have any say in what goes on in the house itself as she doesn't contribute to anything other then small chores. If she paid for anything like her sister does, then she would of course hold some authority in taking place and making household decisions. As long as the girls disability needs are being met that's all that truly matters. That and of course having privacy. The walking into the bathroom is a massive no go. The mother can look at and acknowledge her child as an adult, but just because she acknowledged her as an adult doesn't mean she's an equal to the mother. The sister who pays bills isn't even an equal to the mother. At least in the way I look at it, to be an equal to your parent you have to become a parent yourself.
Why aint anybody talking ab how the mom just barges into bathroom while her grown kid is trying to use it-- then complains about her kid called it an invasion of privacy.. LIKE IT OBVIOUSLY WAS??
Hypocrisy much? The wife was literally insulting the husband then gets pissed when he snaps back, this narrator literally has called the one "joking" a jerk before
I disagree with the narrator. The wife was continually putting the husband down and the moment he propped himself up, she got all pissy about it. Thats abuse.
Last story: to be honest, mother was not the jerk, mother is a mother and, adult or not, you are not equal to her, and if you don't contribute to paying rent you can't make bigger choices.
Nah i don't agree with the narrator on the second story it sounded more like a jab at the op more than anything also is it me or did the narrator get a little more emotional than he normally does as if it happened to him or something
I agree with you in the second story. Maybe she was just saying it as a joke but maybe she had alsp said it in a jab way but we readwrs dont know thar, were only going off on how the OP wrote it. I dont hunk he shouldve made such a big deal with it.
last story: Well no one has to wonder why that divorce happened. I despise parents who can't see their grown children as adults with thoughts and feelings that matter. Just because you might have the final say, doesn't mean Lily shouldn't be included and get to express an opinion in conversations that will directly affect her daily life. And it sounds like a whole shit ton of ablism going on too.
Story 2: I was actually listening to this particular Story on spotify. And I actually had to find it to comment on it on RUclips because holy smackers you are so 100% wrong. The op did not make fun of her education or anything that she did. His wife was GASLIGHTING. him, he defended himself and then she furthered her gaslighting and started "crying", that's very vindictive and I actually had to come from Spotify and find the story on here because it gaslit me. If she gaslit me like that, she be going back to her mother country.... ugh gaslighting is a pet peeve and I hate it.
Exactly. And key words being her choice. She made the decision now she has to live with it and not act like the husband is a terrible and useless person.
If your daughter isn't going to respect you kick her to her father if she whines about changing doctors well I guess she should have respected the person putting a roof over her head
Story 2: So, after some thinking (just because I can see both sides) I gotta say this is narrator bias. So let's start with the wife. The wife *obviously* just wanted appreciation. But it already sounds like OP does that. And, imo, this is the only leg she has to stand on. Honestly, to me it sounds like she is regretting the decision just a tad bit, and she is making these "jokes" at the expense of OP. Which, well, at that point, makes OP not the jerk as his wife is basically bullying him
The takeaway in the second story is so far off from reality. Telling a architect that he wouldn’t be able to build the whacky Lego house you made with the kids would be funny. Saying that a finance guy wouldn’t be able to get by without you and that you basically spent your whole day shopping for the optimal price is just a very bad way to make him feel dumb. That’s basically a soccer mom and Karen in the making.
Okay so for story 2, i gotta be honest with you dude, i dont not agree with you about the OP being a jerk, he was just defending himself. Even if the wife was just Joking, it seems as though she says these kinds of belittling "jokes" to him pretty often, which honestly just seems unnecessary to me. One or two jokes maybe is fine but if shes constantly doing this like OP says she is, than i think its perfectly understandable that he finally decided to stand up for himself. I will say though that I completely agree with you about the mother in the last story, she sounds like the evil step mother from cinderella.
Last Story everyone's the 🍑🕳️. If you're still living with your parents you don't get to make adult decisions. What would happen if mom😵 does she expect her sister to take her in
Story 2. A joke is only a joke when all partues involved recieves it as a joke. In the story, the wife said he couldnt do what she dies many times, not just once, and he never called her stupid, meanwhike she constantly out him duwn and dud blantenly call him stupid in not being able to do what she does. Yet, when he finially getstired of the bs redicuke from his wife putting him down, he's the bad guy while she can do no wrong. Thats bs, its hypocritical in all honesty.
"She wouldn't be applying for disability if it was not the reality." I think you're giving a LOT of other people the benefit of the doubt... tons of people apply for disability that absolutely do NOT qualify. That's why it's such a shitty process to go through for people who ARE ACTUALLY disabled.
To the last story: From what i have heard i really think the mother is a complete jerk. She is making her younger daughter smaller ("chores an 11 year old could do") and is dissmissing the medical problems of said daughter.
21:19 I disagree. Her disability down make it to where she can’t live on her own. If she doesn’t like it by all means she can move out. She doesn’t financially contribute. She doesn’t do much more then maybe vacuuming. But that gives her equal say on a$2k amonth rent? And wait, she can drive but can’t work? She can’t work pt (less then 30hrs a week) but she’s able to drive?
Story 2 - No. She was full of herself acting like you can't do anything without her and got upset when you put her in her place for it. You did nothing wrong. Last story - Wrong, narrator. OP is NTA but her daughter is. Walking into the bathroom, you just don't do. She's an a******* for that. Walking into the bedroom, you don't do. The daughter is an a****** for that. But the mother is absolutely right, if you contribute nothing, you have no say in the decisions. And the daughter is not an equal in this situation.
Dude the joke was NOT A JOKE and when the husband pushes back it's not allowed I think your the jerk for who's the jerk . Make a sorry video for the husband he doesn't deserve that
Story 2: Oh no, the narrator is simping yet again. You can't know if the wife meant her words as a joke because you weren't there to hear them. Looking at the way OP described things, it sure doesn't look like a joke to me. No one would say 'OBVIOUSLY she was joking' in a situation that isn't obvious at all unless you're trying to convince yourself of that. As for the actual story, the wife is a jerk. Stay at home parents should be appreciated but they have no business acting superior when their lover is making all the money. Sure, it sucks that she couldn't graduate, but that's not her husband's fault. It's unfair of her to lash out at him just because she has a inferiority complex.
@@briannalafrance8383 Wow, chores, something everyone in the household can do. That's not really helping out, that's just being there. And I'm sorry that my phone auto corrected. Didn't notice it secondly if it hurt you that much. You know, go f****** help them. But in my opinion, that is not contributing. That is doing the bare minimum and with her situation. I would hope at that age you would have learned some type of work around, but no, the mother is not being a jerk.
@@rashawn183 Ok I understood about half of that. Better than the first comment but still. Anyway the daughter has chronic fatigue along with other health issues. If you look it up, it means that she is in pain and very tired most of the day. Put that together with sleeping an average of 16 hours a day and it's nearly impossible to do anything more than light chores.
@briannalafrance8383 My issue with the daughter is the fact that if you're sleep most of the day and you can't contribute. Why should you have a say in how things are done? Cause you won't even be awoke to benefit from them like. I get her wanting to be an equal. But she doesn't even have the strength. To be an equal, so why would I even make someone equal when It's going to hurt them more to try to be one. Then just for them to sit back and relax. And enjoy the ride until something comes through PS. I'm doing this through voice chat. So sometimes I send it through without it fully correcting.
The laat one I don't agree with she isn't a jeark even with a disability her daughter can still find a job not only that she only treated her like a kid because she was acting like one takeing the car keys and not returning them thats what a child would do i agree with the mom she doesn't pay rent or provide anything she doesn't get to make rules
No sorry but op is not the jerk, his wife was blatantly making fun of op and he was just setting her straight plus there is nothing stopping her from getting into uni or getting another job. Quite honestly she was just rubbing it in. In my opinion op should contact a divorce lawyer because clearly this woman is a gold digger and she is just using op for his money. And before anyone criticises me and says that being a housewife is more difficult than you think it is that is a load of crap. My mother was working and a housewife and she raised three kids also while holding down a part-time job.
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So wife insults husband saying he couldn't do what she does and when he replies he's the jerk? No you are the Jerk.
A joke isnt a joke when it's at someone else's expense, the wife wanted to make herself feel better and kept putting the husband down. The second he finally snapped back suddenly it wasnt okay
Also the husband didn't even call the wife stupid. He just said that he can do the same things she can.
He was proping himself up not putting her down
ya
Yeah, the wife's doing a form of abuse. Verbal and emotional. Verbal on the constant "jokes" at OP's expense, and emotional with the manipulative tactics.
@@memes4life26 telling her she can't do the same as him was kind of an AH thing to say though. If it was just saying he could do it that's one thing but to say she couldn't do the same as him is a d1ck move
@@lolarichter9415 Listen again very carefully at what he actually said: 8:21
He never stated that she was incapable of doing what he does.
All he said was the job he is currently doing is more complicated then the house hold work she was currently doing.
He never said at all that the household work was ALL she could do. He only talked about the current situation and he only did so in a way thay refutes her "joke" claims.
The second story: the wife isnt joking. She is feeling unsuccessful and sad because she isnt following her career path. And taking it out on him by belittling him
Thank you someone said it
Iz ok tho cause she is womens
And how is that OP‘s fault? No one stopping her from getting a job and getting into uni? To me, she’s just lazy.
@@AndyJade-df6dj I wasn't saying it was his fault. I'm talking about the reason behind what she is doing. Two it's not about lazy it's. It about vision, agreements and disappointments. Which she is now experiencing and taking out on her husband instead of talking to him where she is at mentally and renegotiate their lifestyle is always comeback to poor communication and emotional regulation/response.
For the second story. I don't believe OP is being a jerk at all. Op's wife keeps making jokes at his expense. And let's be honest, most household chores aren't very intellectually demanding. I've been in relationships where I've been the one taking care of the home and it isn't hard from that standpoint. Op's wife is just trying to make herself feel better rather than just communicate her dissatisfaction
Edit: Most of the time I agree with the narrator, but this time around to me the narrator had some pretty had takes. Particularly story 2 and the last one.
I agree 100% with you, I think the wife was in the wrong. All what the wife said and her actions, she is the jerk
Yeah, I used to usually always agree but lately I've been disagreeing a lot.
Yeah, that's part of the double standard. It's like the stories where the husband says any little thing and people immediately jump to "he's toxic and the wife needs to run from that abusive cheating jerk", but then you hear where the wife is having an affair or something and they tell the husband "you need to try to work things out, try couples counseling" that sort of stuff. Heck I remember hearing one a while back where the dude got home from work at like 3 am and fixed some frozen shrimp and his daughter got mad saying it was hers, even though it turned out he had paid for them. Anyways, people were saying the OPs daughter needed to make a tiktok about the incident and show it to his work to get him fired and that he was an abusive jerk and they hoped his wife left him. And the sad thing is that was even after he apologized to his daughter and said for now on if there's anything in the freezer you don't want anyone else to eat, to write her name on it, otherwise it was fair game. But evidently him saying that was abusive toxic behavior. 😩 sure, there are plenty of examples of men on here that deserve the jerk score, bit enough with the double standard and call women out for the same stuff. And another thing, what's with people jumping straight to saying divorce in a lot of these? I feel like all it takes with these people is for one partner to fart in front of the other and people would cry "red flag, divorce him/her, that that's abusive behavior". 😩 anyways, sorry for the rant, it's just reddit drives me crazy sometimes, but then again the whole world's gone crazy lately 😜 😅 again sorry for the rant, I tend to ramble on sometimes. Also, I know there's a chance that no one will read this, but if you do and made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read this. You're an outstanding human being and hope you have a happy, healthy, and prosperous life 😊
@@matthewenfinger766 I agree about the double standard. And what a lot of people don't seem to realize with these stories is that many times it's just one side of the story. The person writing them tells all the bad stuff being done to them but I guarantee you most of them don't mention things THEY did & it's things bad enough that if the readers knew when reading the story would change a lot of the outcomes from what they're deemed.
@@hayleymariemillsright, except that's literally the point of throwaway accounts for AITJ?
What's the point in not telling everything, otherwise you know the answer isn't being made on all the points which make those answer completely pointless. So ye, you'd expect people to mention the relevant points, or it makes no sense to even bother to post...
I know confirmation bias exists, and there will always be people who lie, it is just kinda, especially pointless, in an AITA/J thread.
Story 2. While I sympathise with the wife and her situation, I believe she is the jerk for blurting off handed remarks at her partner. It is very toxic and she needed to be put down a peg. The OP did just that. Hopefully she learns to not be a snob.
Mmmm I disagree on the second story. While I do understand that what the wife said was a joke, it was at the husband’s expense and it happens multiple times. Though I don’t agree with the husbands reaction, there’s only so many jabs a person can take before the react negatively, joking or not. Plus it’s different when you’re reading about an event that happened to someone, as opposed to if YOU were to experience it.
nah the op was just mad cant blame them for lashing out the wife needs not say certain things as jokes like that
See, it didn't even sound like she was joking to me. I was a SAHM for years and I know from personal experience, there are some that think running a household is some kind of a magical feat only they are capable of. It is weird af. 😂
Well said but I think you have to be there to really know who’s the jerk
Yeah honestly I don’t blame him, I think he had a decent response. While it might have been a joke, in my eyes he simply pointed out he can handle household work. I don’t see the issue there. As for the wife’s schooling, I don’t see how that matters she’s the one who interpreted it as him saying she’s stupid or something along those lines, when that’s not what’s happening there.
true
Second Story: I honestly don’t think he’s a jerk there. I don’t think the wife was either. However I fail to see how he was the jerk by saying that he could handle household jobs. It probably could’ve been phrased better but it just seems like a bit of a miscommunication, and I can’t fault him there…
Last story: I agree with the overall sentiment that the freeloader makes 0 decisions but barging into toilet is an A-hole move.
Exactly what i was thinking.
@@DaShikuXI the problem is that Lilly doesn't have a diagnosis that has her being disabled. Und that Lilly considers herself to be disabled. Lilly is only applying for disability.
There are lots of people who have chronic illnesses who are still able to work.
yeah but by the sound of it her illnesses seem to be affecting her life, and she is trying to do more stuff that she is currently doing, the mother probably left details that could make her look bad as well
@@cototototorra7106 she was taken into consideration by there being enough bedrooms for everyone. Assuming OP didn’t purposefully throw her family into squalor anything else the deadweight sleepyhead could complain about is nitpicking. Privacy invasions aside.
she doesnt need to outright neglect her daughter to be in the wrong, her daughter is handicaped with a lot of illnesses, the daughter just wanted to have a say in what was going on, a little ''oh yeah here in the apartment your sister wants the little room, i want the big one, which one do you want''
The mother(OP) in the last story was the human embodiment of all things disgusting.
''basic chores a 11 year old could do'' yeah she is peak retairement home material, how much you bet she herself is gonna become a freeloader the moment she becomes too old to work
Honestly it sounds like Lilly's struggling enough. If there was more context explaining bad behavior from Lilly I'd be more sympathetic but the OP in that story just sounds like she doesn't want to deal with her daughter or even make an attempt to help her get on her feet
I mean, yeah, the mother was kinda a jerk. But to be honest, if you don't contribute to paying for the place you are staying at, then you really have no say in what's what when you are an adult. Disability or not, you are no longer a child. You aren't also an equal, to your own parents. You're am equal as an adult, when do you adult things, but if you are still living with your parents, then they are the authority of the household, you aren't equals.
Why because she is giving her daughter a dose of reality?
@@shaymorcormick8743 Are you sure you're thinking of the right story?
SECOND STORY: husband said he could do it to if the roles were reversed, meaning he acknowledges that she could do what he does as well. He did not belittle her at all but tried to become equals once again after she tried putting him down and got upset when it didn't work. even with a joke like that there was some truth and feeling behind her words. This doesn't feel like a, "who is the jerk" conversation but a, "do you want to go back to school and/or start a career" conversation.
20:45 that’s the type of mom that tells you “I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it” I feel so bad for her daughters. What kind of parent views themselves as better than their disabled child? (a callous one that views their children as status symbols rather than the living breathing being that they are)
So you guys were trying to help them out and instead of being grateful for the help they screw you over. It's a shame that someone would take advantage but guess they learned a valuable lesson
I bet they didn’t learn a thing. They’ll turn it into them being the victims. These types don’t ever take responsibility
@@dcg590i would agree, but losing your kids is literally the worst thing that can ever happen to you. i dont think they will be recovering from that.
@@BlitzTheFoxi less expense for them they'll think
S1 00:00-7:15
S2 7:15-10:45
S3 10:45-15:19 (boss acts like a mom)
S4 15:19-18:14 (paint my house orange)
S5 18:14-22: 31 (don't act like a boss mother)
2nd story op IS NOT the jerk. He just returned the energy . Then she played victim. I see a divorce in their future.
So the last story I say 50/50 on the mom and daughter. Yes I understand that she has a disability and it makes things hard for her but when you you go in trying to start conflict that is a jerk move. The bathroom and bedroom debate is also the same either way because you don’t know what you could be walking into. My fiancé has a medical condition that she gets disability for and her mom and her get into fights like this more over the cleaning aspect over the money aspect. A lot of times my fiancé is the one who starts it because her mom ask her to help with something and my fiancé gives attitude back about it. So I feel 50/50 on both is reasonable.
The first story was ✨ perfect ✨
Story 2: She ran her mouth, shouldn't cry about the response. Funny on the commentator didn't listen to the part were SHE made it out that OP could never do anything like that without her.
Story 2: what the wife was saying, didn’t sound like a joke to me, but even if it was a “joke“ it still had a negative impact on OP
For stories like the second one, it's hard to say who's the jerk because we don't know the tone of voice that it was said in.
True. I also think that some of these stories are made up by others, but that doesn't mean I hate the stories, I'm just being dead honest.
Story 2: we just gonna ignore making a joke at the expense of the husband's self-esteem? It's clear she was building herself up at the expense of putting him down. Not the jerk.
Yeah. For some reason though I think that no one's the jerk despite the given circumstances.
When I first read that the OP had "gotten kids taken", I was kinda' irritated because soooo many people use CPS as a revenge method but, in this case, 100% justified! The grandfather had already been trying to get the kids, there were obviously major issues and this probably helped those kids!
Second story...no, you're not the jerk! It is absolutely ridiculous that she feels the need to try and insult you to make herself feel better! As someone who has done both, worked outside of the home and been a SAHM with four kids, if you are intelligent and set up a routine/schedule to optimize your time, energy and money, it is not as hard as some people make it out to be. It is by no means easy but to act like there is some magic trick to it is ridiculous.
Nah, if my so is constantly putting me down saying things like I wouldn't be able to live at all without her? Gloves are off at that point. That's extremely toxic behavior she's putting down.
Stay at home mom was just looking for validation
That spells "insecurity" in my book and that is a 🚩.
I would not believe their sob story about losing a job.
AHAHAHAHA THE SECOND STORY, he is obviously not the jerk 💀
No, the guy wasn't the jerk. He was defending himself. How come the wife can say she's better than him at what she does, and it's called a joke, but when he does it, he needs to apologize?
Ikr? It's so stupid.
In story 2, you can't just assume that she was joking. Because I've been through that before, and she wasn't joking. I doubt she was joking, so he had every right because he was defending himself from her insulting him. You just assume that it was a joke, but op would know.
Is it just me or I LOVE listening the podcast he makes cuz it’s SO interesting
I can guarantee you it's not just you.
Living at home and paying 500 bucks. Wtf. What kind of parents charge that kind of money for their own kid?
americans it seems
She doesnt get to take shots at him youre giving her too much leinency she needs talk to her husband about what she wants to do she doesnt get to disrespect him cause shes dissatisfied he maybe should have been nicer but looks like he just said yes i can do math and budget
If you read the OP's replies on Reddit, you will notice that the OP admitted that his wife wants to complete her degree. Yet, the OP dismisses it and avoids talking about it. He prefers creating a 'stable family' as the response to this...
His comments in his post make it much worse than it seems
If you read the OP's replies on Reddit, you will notice that the OP admitted that his wife wants to complete her degree. Yet, the OP dismisses it and avoids talking about it. He prefers creating a 'stable family' as the response to this...
His comments in his post make it much worse than it seems
@@jonarthritiskwanhc By "stable" he means "nuclear". The nuclear family has died when neoliberalism took over politics in the U.S.
I saw the video title and i clicked for 2 reasons:
1. No way you taking someones kids💀💀💀💀💀
2. I want to watch subway surfers clips
heyy this comment has nothings to do with the video above but one day after i got home from work i heard a familiar voice so i followed it and guess what it was, “am i the jerk” was playing from my nephews ipad nd ik some stories arent for kids so i stayed nd watched with him for a while nd watching him be able to determine whether or not the person was in the wrong or not was amazing to see him learn whats acceptable and what isnt nd then after the videos we would sit nd talk about what we thought for like 20mins nd he’s only 8 i just wanted to say thanks you for the great content that provides learning experiences for younger generations💯
ok for the second story: I think it's likely the tone of how she said it, and if it is, it could be on either party since in my case (autistic) I would have been the same as OP was. So don't be too hard on the OP, human interaction is hard yo
this is stupid. no family should think that they shouldn't pay someone because they are family
Which is why you shouldn't loan to family... especially ones like those people.
Firs story: They both jerks, but well... husband is more.
This are the only perfect videos i can watch if am lacking smth to watch :)
Bro taking the kid’s away
Thanks for the million dollar store subway surfers in the background
Great revenge.
First story: The last thing you do on probation is commit a crime. How dumb can people be
They don't see the whole chessboard when deciding on their next move, they just move their pieces willy-nilly.
They can be dumb to the point they do the same crap Logan Paul would pull.
10:00 bro is just trying to not get canceled bro is just right 💀
OP2: You're staight up wrong. She decided to belittle him and he fired back.
9:58 : You don't f****** make fun of people. It''s that simple.
*I'M SENSING SOME GENDER NEPOTISM FROM AM I THE JERK*
hey what kind of drugs are you using ??? how the hell is the guy the jerk in story 2 you musst be insanly high man .....
Last story, no, the OP is not a jerk. There are medications and I know many disabled people that have jobs. If you don't contribut to my household you don't get a say.
Walking into a bathroom while your child is in there is just pedophilia. Like wtf. Op is 100% TA
So because a disabled young person can't get enough money to pay her mother rent, she does not get any right to privacy or choices about her home, and she is not an equal of her mother?
also she is doing something to get disable checks, she is trying to help but it takes time , no wonder the husban divorced her
you're either dumb or an asshole, don't know which one.
I worked in wealth mgt retirement planning. There are tons of men like this in that field. It's easy to see why she feels like he called her stupid. Being a stay at home parent can be challenging and exhausting
He said he could do what she does AFTER SHE told him he would never be able to do what she does.
HE didn't say SHE couldn't go HIS job. No, SHE DID.
So really, who, called who stupid?
I swear this narrators female bias is insane
The mother who treats her disabled daughter like trash needs a hard reality check. For those who are not disabled is hard for them to understand the limitations and challenges that come with it. The judgement and constant dismissals is unacceptable. I have them myself and have to deal with this crap too. We have come a long way when it comes to the disabled but we still have ways too go. There is also just not a lot of help or resources out there and waiting lists that are decades long that you may not live long enough to benefit from. The daughter is trying to her best to do what she can and that is really all that can be asked of her.
nah the daughter uses her disability thing as an excuse
@@viviennemorgan7217 chronic fatigue is a valid excuse tho
@@marklebury it's not though using your disability as an excuse so you can get out of things is an excuse though.
@@viviennemorgan7217 "sorry I can't work in construction because I'm in a wheelchair" excuses!
@@briannalafrance8383 exactly
Opinions on the second and last story?
No, the OPs in both situation weren't jerks and i feel this narrator is biased or as other people call him, "a Simp".
I agree with that first angle, as a woman, and a lesbian. Women like that are engaging in what's known as verbal abuse and emotional abuse. And people like him let them get away with it. A joke isn't a joke when the target doesn't find it funny. Unless they've done something absolutely deserving of the mockery, but even then, that has its limits.
But OP is a jerk for entirely different reasons. If you go to the post and look at the comments, OP is a jerk in many regards. The wife is a jerk in this context, but he's a jerk too. this is entirely a toxic relationship. This is an ESH
I more or less agree with the narrator on the last story, imo, but the second story was definitely bs.
@@schizophrenicmelancholy2706I'm half and half with the last story.
Lilly doesn't have any say in what goes on in the house itself as she doesn't contribute to anything other then small chores. If she paid for anything like her sister does, then she would of course hold some authority in taking place and making household decisions. As long as the girls disability needs are being met that's all that truly matters. That and of course having privacy. The walking into the bathroom is a massive no go.
The mother can look at and acknowledge her child as an adult, but just because she acknowledged her as an adult doesn't mean she's an equal to the mother. The sister who pays bills isn't even an equal to the mother. At least in the way I look at it, to be an equal to your parent you have to become a parent yourself.
Finally some good gameplay
ok man
Why aint anybody talking ab how the mom just barges into bathroom while her grown kid is trying to use it-- then complains about her kid called it an invasion of privacy.. LIKE IT OBVIOUSLY WAS??
Hypocrisy much? The wife was literally insulting the husband then gets pissed when he snaps back, this narrator literally has called the one "joking" a jerk before
Saved those baby's. 🙏💛💯💪✌️❤️
21:40 no wonder the husband devoid her
I disagree with the narrator. The wife was continually putting the husband down and the moment he propped himself up, she got all pissy about it. Thats abuse.
Thank you.
So sad . 😢
8:53 keyword “had” she graduated
Well for the 2nd story, it sorta didn't seem like a joke
Yes you are
Day 134 of saying the same thing until I get pinned
Karen's getting destroyed is one of the best parts of my
Life
The definition of insanity.
@@dwaynejackson551??
@DarthSephiroth idc
dang op where did the kids go after the parents didn't pay for their car into an adoption center.
i want to see a part 2 of this.
It went to the grandfather
@@itbethatway8386 the car or kids.
The title is from a police body cam fottage
Last story: to be honest, mother was not the jerk, mother is a mother and, adult or not, you are not equal to her, and if you don't contribute to paying rent you can't make bigger choices.
If they refuse to give it back why did you know why did you you didn't make them one and then get that one back
Hi wacht your most recent vid end i sed somting nice for u❤❤❤❤❤
Nah i don't agree with the narrator on the second story it sounded more like a jab at the op more than anything also is it me or did the narrator get a little more emotional than he normally does as if it happened to him or something
ya
MAKE A SORRY
VIDEO FOR THE HUSBAND
I agree with you in the second story. Maybe she was just saying it as a joke but maybe she had alsp said it in a jab way but we readwrs dont know thar, were only going off on how the OP wrote it. I dont hunk he shouldve made such a big deal with it.
Story 2. When is this narrator going to drop the gender bias? The OP was not a jerk in the slightest and his wife is being toxic.
Nice
last story: Well no one has to wonder why that divorce happened. I despise parents who can't see their grown children as adults with thoughts and feelings that matter. Just because you might have the final say, doesn't mean Lily shouldn't be included and get to express an opinion in conversations that will directly affect her daily life. And it sounds like a whole shit ton of ablism going on too.
Story 2: I was actually listening to this particular Story on spotify. And I actually had to find it to comment on it on RUclips because holy smackers you are so 100% wrong.
The op did not make fun of her education or anything that she did. His wife was GASLIGHTING. him, he defended himself and then she furthered her gaslighting and started "crying", that's very vindictive and I actually had to come from Spotify and find the story on here because it gaslit me.
If she gaslit me like that, she be going back to her mother country.... ugh gaslighting is a pet peeve and I hate it.
You are wrong about story 2, narrator. The wife was being a straight up bee-otch because she's not happy with her choice to be a stay-at-home mom.
Exactly. And key words being her choice. She made the decision now she has to live with it and not act like the husband is a terrible and useless person.
stroy 2 wife sounds like someone who spends too much time on TikTok
If your daughter isn't going to respect you kick her to her father if she whines about changing doctors well I guess she should have respected the person putting a roof over her head
and that's on ableism. think mf. think.
Hey guys it me
No way u blamed op for the 2nd story
Story 2: So, after some thinking (just because I can see both sides) I gotta say this is narrator bias.
So let's start with the wife. The wife *obviously* just wanted appreciation. But it already sounds like OP does that. And, imo, this is the only leg she has to stand on.
Honestly, to me it sounds like she is regretting the decision just a tad bit, and she is making these "jokes" at the expense of OP. Which, well, at that point, makes OP not the jerk as his wife is basically bullying him
Ummm he wasn't a tenet in the Victorian dude, he was a nosy 💩 neighbor
The takeaway in the second story is so far off from reality.
Telling a architect that he wouldn’t be able to build the whacky Lego house you made with the kids would be funny.
Saying that a finance guy wouldn’t be able to get by without you and that you basically spent your whole day shopping for the optimal price is just a very bad way to make him feel dumb.
That’s basically a soccer mom and Karen in the making.
Okay so for story 2, i gotta be honest with you dude, i dont not agree with you about the OP being a jerk, he was just defending himself. Even if the wife was just Joking, it seems as though she says these kinds of belittling "jokes" to him pretty often, which honestly just seems unnecessary to me. One or two jokes maybe is fine but if shes constantly doing this like OP says she is, than i think its perfectly understandable that he finally decided to stand up for himself.
I will say though that I completely agree with you about the mother in the last story, she sounds like the evil step mother from cinderella.
Last Story everyone's the 🍑🕳️. If you're still living with your parents you don't get to make adult decisions. What would happen if mom😵 does she expect her sister to take her in
so that's ableist. she's disabled asshole. not everyone can do everything you can.
The way you talked about story 2 Is just No No Fr
You been hit by you been stroke by a smooth criminal
Story 2. A joke is only a joke when all partues involved recieves it as a joke.
In the story, the wife said he couldnt do what she dies many times, not just once, and he never called her stupid, meanwhike she constantly out him duwn and dud blantenly call him stupid in not being able to do what she does.
Yet, when he finially getstired of the bs redicuke from his wife putting him down, he's the bad guy while she can do no wrong. Thats bs, its hypocritical in all honesty.
"She wouldn't be applying for disability if it was not the reality." I think you're giving a LOT of other people the benefit of the doubt... tons of people apply for disability that absolutely do NOT qualify. That's why it's such a shitty process to go through for people who ARE ACTUALLY disabled.
To the last story: From what i have heard i really think the mother is a complete jerk. She is making her younger daughter smaller ("chores an 11 year old could do") and is dissmissing the medical problems of said daughter.
Sounds more like the daughter is using her medical problem as a get out of jail free card not to work or contribute
21:19 I disagree. Her disability down make it to where she can’t live on her own. If she doesn’t like it by all means she can move out. She doesn’t financially contribute. She doesn’t do much more then maybe vacuuming. But that gives her equal say on a$2k amonth rent?
And wait, she can drive but can’t work? She can’t work pt (less then 30hrs a week) but she’s able to drive?
I dont feel bad for the kids because if the parents are such scummy people, then what could they possibly teach their kids? To steal?
Or if the kids had any sense of responsibility, learn how not to do things.
Lol
Story 2 - No. She was full of herself acting like you can't do anything without her and got upset when you put her in her place for it. You did nothing wrong.
Last story - Wrong, narrator. OP is NTA but her daughter is. Walking into the bathroom, you just don't do. She's an a******* for that. Walking into the bedroom, you don't do. The daughter is an a****** for that. But the mother is absolutely right, if you contribute nothing, you have no say in the decisions. And the daughter is not an equal in this situation.
The daughter should be cut SOME slack for her disability
''the narrators female bias is insane'' singed, an incel
Dude the joke was NOT A JOKE and when the husband pushes back it's not allowed I think your the jerk for who's the jerk . Make a sorry video for the husband he doesn't deserve that
With the last story i dont tink she is the jerk
Story 2: Oh no, the narrator is simping yet again. You can't know if the wife meant her words as a joke because you weren't there to hear them. Looking at the way OP described things, it sure doesn't look like a joke to me. No one would say 'OBVIOUSLY she was joking' in a situation that isn't obvious at all unless you're trying to convince yourself of that.
As for the actual story, the wife is a jerk. Stay at home parents should be appreciated but they have no business acting superior when their lover is making all the money. Sure, it sucks that she couldn't graduate, but that's not her husband's fault. It's unfair of her to lash out at him just because she has a inferiority complex.
As someone who has CFS/ME and also Fybromyaliga it is hard as hell to do anything when you tired and in pain all the time. The mum is the jerk here
The kindest isn't a jerk the daughter dissenter help ore readout contribute like an adult now like a colds and should be treated as such
Ok first of all, learn English. Second of all, the daughter does help out it says in the story that she helps out with chores.
@@briannalafrance8383 Wow, chores, something everyone in the household can do. That's not really helping out, that's just being there. And I'm sorry that my phone auto corrected. Didn't notice it secondly if it hurt you that much. You know, go f****** help them. But in my opinion, that is not contributing. That is doing the bare minimum and with her situation. I would hope at that age you would have learned some type of work around, but no, the mother is not being a jerk.
@@rashawn183 Ok I understood about half of that. Better than the first comment but still. Anyway the daughter has chronic fatigue along with other health issues. If you look it up, it means that she is in pain and very tired most of the day. Put that together with sleeping an average of 16 hours a day and it's nearly impossible to do anything more than light chores.
@briannalafrance8383 My issue with the daughter is the fact that if you're sleep most of the day and you can't contribute. Why should you have a say in how things are done? Cause you won't even be awoke to benefit from them like.
I get her wanting to be an equal. But she doesn't even have the strength. To be an equal, so why would I even make someone equal when It's going to hurt them more to try to be one. Then just for them to sit back and relax. And enjoy the ride until something comes through PS. I'm doing this through voice chat. So sometimes I send it through without it fully correcting.
The laat one I don't agree with she isn't a jeark even with a disability her daughter can still find a job not only that she only treated her like a kid because she was acting like one takeing the car keys and not returning them thats what a child would do i agree with the mom she doesn't pay rent or provide anything she doesn't get to make rules
No sorry but op is not the jerk, his wife was blatantly making fun of op and he was just setting her straight plus there is nothing stopping her from getting into uni or getting another job. Quite honestly she was just rubbing it in. In my opinion op should contact a divorce lawyer because clearly this woman is a gold digger and she is just using op for his money.
And before anyone criticises me and says that being a housewife is more difficult than you think it is that is a load of crap. My mother was working and a housewife and she raised three kids also while holding down a part-time job.