Great topic indeed. Years ago, I dated a guy who said I was too Westernised because I challenged him from time to time. I said to him that a real man would not mind a woman challenging him at times. Also, he had a massive problem with me being on contraception because he wanted to desperately get me pregnant. I later found out that he had multiple kids with multiple women. I told myself I will not be a single mother. Now I am happily married to a wonderful Igbo man and we are about to have our first child :)
This is a very very v important topic that every black woman needs to listen to. Everything you’re discussing here i discussed last week. I work for the council and in an authority position I can’t say much here but all I can say is great presentation. It’s sad how many blacks I meet each day always coming for govt assistance. We need to empower ourselves. The demise of the black family is not westernisation, it’s having children out of wedlock!! And lack of responsible male figures and role models.
Thank you uncle Phrankleen for this topic. It is not just greed about money, it's also greed generated by the lies they believe. In Africa, a lot of people consider non-black westerners as superior to Africans. When they get exposed to an opportunity where they could be considered an equal to non-black westerners, then they start having a ridiculously grandiose sense of self-worth. I feel like a lot of people are also having a hard time creating a balance between our black culture and the influence of the west. It took me a hard time to find this balance, but I'm happy with where I am now and hope I get better. I spent a lot of time observing non-black people to establish my criteria for my ideal state and it caused me so much trouble because the truth is just like you said - the same rules don't apply to me as a black woman. I am back to square one and learning to love myself, my culture, but also thriving as a western woman. I have promised myself to never forget where I'm from, but to always look towards the best of my people. I am hoping more black/African millennials in the west seek to create a balance between who they are and what they can or want to be. This breeds acceptance and love for the black family and a stronger desire to prove to the world that they can exist!! ✌🏽
Ada, you're right. Black women can find themselves stuck between a rock and a hard place because of the expectations placed on us and how they might conflict with the expections we have of ourselves. Life to be seems to be a journey - where you start is not destined to be where you end up. And each part of the journey demands adaptation, but not necessarily assimilation. The way things are done "back home" don't necessarily work where you are right now. So, I think do what works best for you. A partner from back home needs to adapt if he leaves there to come to the West because certain things don't work well here, and vice versa. So, find out a perspective partner's views and attitudes in their home environment, where they feel most at home before you hitch yourself to them. Choose carefully. That's all we can do.
@ Ada A, from your word "I feel like a lot of people are also having a hard time creating a balance between our black culture and the influence of the west". You are actually referring to black people who are supposed not to have any self-esteem of their own. Why should we consider making any balance between our culture and that of the West? Have you seen them making any balance with ours? When in their land, they insist on you living their lifestyle through their laws and when in our land they insist on living THEIR own lifestyle, not ours. Asians have their culture, and you don't see them trying hard to create a balance with the West. Why must it be blacks especially Africans? Isn't it clear that you are operating under colonial influence and completely lacking self-esteem? Are you a white person? Where are your African values?
Throw some light on the current knife crime in the UK. No one is doing anything because it’s blacks killing blacks. There was six murder in the last 5 days in London alone. It’s so worrying.
I have heard about those attacks and killings. There's a similar thing going on here in Scandinavia, teens from black families in Oslo, and Stockholm are known to join gangs and attack people with knives The reason could be the dysfunction & instability in black families.
@Ichigo 123 I believe you can express your opinion without resorting to name calling. Nothing @NubianQueen said warrants your labelling her "dumb". You may want to direct your anger elsewhere. Even if you've had bad experiences in the past, no one on this forum deserves your transferred aggression.
I've been listening to you and I never regret subscribing to your channel. Your thought provoking knowledge is highly commendable. I wish I had this benefit of listening to words of reasoning from somebody like you long time ago. God knows best. Thank you though.
Another nice one, Phrankleen! You always provide a balanced view of controversial issues. I wish others could do the same!!!! There are unscrupulous men and women out there - sadly so. Since this video specifically targets unscrupulous women, I have this to say. I can never understand why anyone would purposely destroy her home just to collect benefits from the government. It makes no sense! What exactly does the system offer, except a pittance that steamrolls a person into a vicious cycle of poverty? Women who think they can get by on government benefits are truly deceiving themselves. They must have a warped sense of self worth. Furthermore, why put the children through that kind of viciousness? Why treat the men who don't deserve it that way? My heart truly goes out to these men. Really sad! And to the women who genuinely find themselves in a bad relationship and have to get out, I wish you much strength and courage.
I'm not a psychologist and definately not defending bad behaviour but "viscous" women are usually reacting to some sort of abuse, disappointment or disfunction in their past. Abusive men the same thing - bad role models and negative cultural affirmation.
@@shadele17 If you believe that "viscous" women as you said, were reacting to abuse, disappointment or dysfunction, wouldn't it be sensible for the "abusive men" as you wrote it, to also have that right to vent their emotions when they need to? Why should that freedom be given only to such women and not the men? Or are they not humans with needs and pains also? Are you trying to say that all women are saints and can do no wrong even when it is very clear they can be just as evil, if not even more than the men can? Both should be given equal chance and justice in the West if equality is what you meant.
When i met my man he encouraged me to stop eating meat, stop smoking, stop partying he encouraged me to be more creative with food, writing etc. l became a changed person but he was an immature undercover polygamist who did not tell the the women he couldn't be with one woman, problm is it disturbed the family developing the necessary balance to stay together, and hence another broken family.
To Ocean Chime, your comment is convoluted. You say positive things about him in one vein, i.e helping you be a better person and then add a personal flaw to seemingly contradict his virtue. Stick to one argument or think properly before posting your comment. It is not clear what you are getting at
@@Hero-pp5yh No it just shows that going forward progressively & heading a household aint for a faint hearted man, taking family life for granted via lust, greed etc has nothing to do with putting your best foot forward to start a family which requires both husband & wife to provide & protect lead & follow, follow & lead.
@@Hero-pp5yh Seemingly good people have flaws. She was simply pointing that out. On the one hand. he was good to her; on the other hand. he had a flaw that was a deal breaker.
Most of the points mentioned occurs in relationships that are geographically located in Nigeria also. The "westernised women" label seem inappropriate. The real crux is to watch out for a certain type of woman or avoid legal marriage altogether regardless of location. There are women in Nigeria who get their husbands arrested by police or hire thugs to beat him up or ruin his life in many ways. Relocating to the UK will not neccesarily change anyones real character.
TJ Fasan 😁😁 you know in Naija the man fit tear singlet, break bottle and make some Ogboju moves say him no go gree! For Abroad on the other hand 🤭😀😀😀 if I hear ....
@@Phrankleen13 I suppose men and even some accomplished women should seek means to protect themselves against the ugly side of marriage 1. Stay away from legal marriage (traditional, church or mosque marriage is good enough) making a relationship legally binding when the other person will profit enormously from divorce is ill advised. 2. Keep a secret video or audio diary to defend himself or herself against false allegations. 3. Have a plan B ie invest in home country, at least have a house and good savings in home country. Dont put all your resources in the UK or US or any other foreign country. 4. Get a good legal adviser even if the marriage seem ok at the moment. 5. Sleep with one eye open...🤣
Wives leaving their husbands or having a side lover or just generally behaving badly has existed for centuries even before any contact with western civilisation. A common word in traditional Nigerian - yoruba culture is omoale which translate "child from another lover". I know grandmas that had children for 3 or more different husbands who grew up in the 1900's with little or no contact with western culture. It's all about staying away from certain type of women or even men because all they bring is chaos.
Very inappropriate, I live in the USA. I like most of Phrankleen's, content but I'm offended a lot by the wordage used What do you'll mean by westernized? I am a Mother, I am a Woman, I am a Sister, I respect myself to the fullest. I also give respect when due. I raised my family w/ moral and values. Oh, by-the-way I did it with hard work and grind, no assistance from the government. Furthermore, I became a single mother because I refused to stay in a abusive relationship🌻💛🌻 Peace, Blessings, Light, and Love💛
Can't really pick a side on this topic because its good and bad at the same time , depending on the human u dealing with , one thing tho as human we see can kind of tell when who we are dating is gonna be problematic, but we tend to deceive our self with love, possibility of changing the person, and religion. My advice is you see something odd you end it , doesn't have to be towards you , could be what he or she does to a friend, family, stranger , as long as u can't take it if your partner does the same yo you ,you run cuz it definitely will be done to you . Western or local a demon is a demon .
Hi Phrankleen, been watching your content for some time now, and I’m hooked. Thank you for your authenticity and for shining a light on topics that matter.
Once again this brother has spoken FACTS!! Your discussions were well balanced out. The Black families, both on the continent and in the diasporas need to get stronger and realize we are facing the same enemy of destruction.
This past January, I started talking to this guy who just arrived the US on a Green Card the June prior. I have been here for a while. We had intended on dating, though physically he wasn't my type (I'm petite and he is too, or maybe short). I was willing to give him a chance. First, he was insecure that I earned way more than he did. I'm independent and wanting to buy my house, etc. I encounraged him to get an American degree/certification in a lucrative field and that soon, tables might be turned. Second, he didn't like my low cut and advised I grow it. Well, I wanted a new hairdo like dreads or curls. So I decide to start growing it. Third, before every little conversation, he would remind me that he is the man in the friendship/relationship. He would remind me that it wasn't his job to enter the kitchen nor do laundry. It wasn't his job to do most of the domestics. I laughed at the fool. I reminded him where he now lives and the culture that exists. If the both of us are bringing home the pie, both of us should also be responsible for cleaning up it's stains. It's a culture of partnership rather than master-slaveship. He would say "the westernized woman is the reason many Nigerian homes have "scattered" in America. You have become too westernized". I would ask him, "what does that even mean?" To not condone bad behaviour. To be free from the culture that enslaves women and makes them secondclass citizens in their country and in their homes is to be "westernized"? Hell yea! I want to be westernized. I have maintained this attitude since I was 8 years old. To be treated right isn't something I compromise on. He once asked me if he hits me whether I'd call the cops. Mistakenly or not. Hell yeah! You damn right boy! And he then said, see, you don't care whether or not the home breaks. Dude, why should such responsibility be placed on a woman? Shouldn't we all strive to be the best version of ourselves?🤷♂️ He would begin to say the things his mum does and tolerates. And she does so to "keep" the family. Am I your mother? If she chooses to tolerate mysogyny and enslavement, that's her choice. Mine should be respected as well. Everyone deserves a shot at happiness. No be me kill Jesus 😏 In the end, I just couldn't stand him. It was obvious we didn't share same values. He was holding on to the mysogynistic and devaluing ways of most African men. I told him to change his way of thought, else he would encounter a "westernized woman" and see hell in America because this is 2019 and not 1902. I have already started dating outside of my race. I'm back to my old hairdo and it takes a lot of firepower to pull it off. And I do it gracefully and elegantly. 😁 May God help us all in finding true happiness.✌️
*** PS: I still agree with Phrankleen that there are some women who are interested in only child and spousal support payments. And free housing. I work in the financial industry. I see it everyday. But the caption of this post is what bothers me.
@@nellycious1692 Okay, have you asked why it's destroying the black family? Are we the only ethnicity in these countries? Why is it just us? Isn't there something wrong with the way our women are treated? Or the way our men are raised? Or what free passes our societies have given our men? Not taking responsibilities for their own fuck ups? PS: I grew up with my Dad having lost my mum at a young age. He still cleaned, washed dishes, and did some other domestics even until he was 60 years. He would say "Pruddie, sweep downstairs let me sweep upstairs and we'd meet at the staircase". On Sundays, when we'd leave early for church only eating bread and tea, upon arrival, my older brother would be fuming at me. Why? Because he's hungry. Dad usually yelled at him stating " wasn't it the same bread and tea everyone ate before they left the house? Why would you be fuming for your sister because she hasn't cooked or that the food is delayed? Is she your housegirl or slave? If you're so hungry, why can't you go into the kitchen and cook by yourself and for everyone to eat?" That was the kind of a home I grew up in. We worked as a team and rebuked every kind of mysogynistic behaviours. I recall my 10th birthday, it was a Friday, mum was on call at her clinic, I was to go to boarding school the next day, my Dad made sumptuous meals for us and the visitors. I will not deviate from such treatment and could inculcate same in my son's. You can go ahead and do as you were taught. Let me do mine. But for you to generalize and act as though you know me is just plain stupid. BTW, Dad was born in the 50s and knew how to treat women😏. And also, I took care of my family from age 15 to 26 before I left for the Western world. That guy was just one of the many Nigerian men I have encountered here. Tradition my ass. Please forget religion. The most heinous crimes in history have been perpetrated in the name of religion and continue to be. Religion of oppression and enslavement. Enough already! We're tired of this much BS. Bye Felicia!
It was good that you gave him a chance. That's crucial. Describing how you grew up shows that you weren't brainwashed by the system but influenced by unfortunate circumstances but in a loving home. In a way, you gave him good medicine that hopefully will help him in his journey.
@Pruddie, I was once engaged to a man with a similar attitude. When I realized what awaited me, I dumped him. For effect, I returned his engagement ring in his father's presence. I have no regrets. I moved on and met somebody much better. Having said that, Phrankleen is right to call out women who are manipulating their relationships and the system for material gains. That's a different group of women, and they span all social and educational strata. Not that the men don't manipulate the system too. Many of them marry those "liberated"/ westernized African women or foreigners to gain citizenship, the green card, or right of abode. I guess this is a topic for another video.
And the childrens too. I will only leave if there is mental, emotional and physical abuse. And if me and my partner have to break up, I will make sure that we stay in real good terms so our son can get both of our love and support. Because our black boys are getting attract left right and centre, when they see that they are living in a housewole where there's no man to stand up to them.
Always on point my bro. Our churches need to educate our families about these things. I am a professional working in that SS and I see this every day and I 🤦♂️
I have seen this happen to the men in our family, particularly those that married other races. Sad sad affair to witness and the children suffer the most, an ugly mark on the black community as a whole. Excellent topic as there is no progress without strong families. Blessings from Bay Area, CA, USA
I don’t think that he is talking about marriage in the legal sense. He is talking about two parent households. Everyone that has studied child welfare has come to the conclusion that two parent households are far superior to one-parent households.
Good topic Phrankleen as always.I was especially interested in the notion that once the woman goes to the council, she is encouraged to ditch the man which resonated with me from my time of living in the US. This practice, it said, is behind the demise of the African-American family, whereby Uncle Sam becomes the replacement daddy, so long as the man is out of the house. Many say this policy was a deliberate move to destroy the black family in the US, and from an emotional perspective it may appear so. When I think of the same pressures being applied here in the UK, I am now wondering whether this pressure from social services is more about the bureaucracy creating more need for its own existence or power and so must create many more 'victims' for them to serve.
It is purely about business and money making. The men and their resources are the targets while these women are just their tools using sex as the bait. They don't care about the wellbeing of the black families but the manipulation of these females and the money they make.
Frankleen, u r so Right.I have seen it first hand, some official telling the children that if you don't understand each other with ur children, the child can move out. I could not believe this, I ask the lady, when she and her children have a different of an opinion does she send her child packing.? I than realized that there is a hidden agenda.
Ur words comes with wisdom my dear i absolutely agree with you, it's so shameful how our black families came here and decided to disrespect our ethics, no respect for the man who paid ur bride price I mean its awful. You deserve an award for this continue the good work 👍👍😘💕
I don't think there's anything in the system to strengthen any family regardless of colour, race or creed. The only reason the black family is peculiar is because we're naturally still more patriachal and the women are growing wings. Not a lot of black men want to be home doing dishes and changing diapers. The Asian men are also very patriachal but the women aren't growing wings. They stick to the culture. The white man, many don't mind being stay home dads. This is one of the reasons why there's discrepancies in results.
Hey Phrankleen,do you have a podcast channel? You should contact some TV and radio stations and send them some demos of your stuff as I think you could do well in one or both of those fields,I think you would be great making documentaries ect,just a thought man,your voice should be heard by more,I've told a lot of my friends and family about your channel,keep up the good work,peace out.
The western law doesn’t favor men these days. I met a lot of men who marry from Thailand, China, Vietnam and all of the supposed third world countries including South American countries as well. All of these men are divorced and I remember one of them telling me in his words “Please don’t get married and if you do, don’t bring any of them to the west, else she’ll take you to the cleaners”. True story.
Fact, you are on point. Western/American laws are purely anti-marriage and insane. Most previously peaceful marriages from these places you mentioned suddenly became toxic, problematic and crumble once in Amerika all because of these female's light brains and irrationality and fantasy mindsets or hallucinations aided by the system. It's sad! Amerika is not an environment fit for any true marriage. It is better to remain single/unmarried as a man while in these places for your safety and happiness.
I liked your point about misinterpreting freedom. I think there's a tendency to think that freedom means playing into your gut urges or human nature like selfishness. With that kind of mindset odds are you're going to struggle when it comes to something like marriage which in its foundation is about sharing.
We need to speak more on this topic and change the narrative. It’s embarrassing when u consider the statistics. One big problem is having kids out of wedlock. I know we can’t blame women always for this but we need to be alert as women and wise. Please do more of this so we get many women educated. The system is not for us it’s against us. Don’t fall a trap to it.
Sellin Farsen Wedlock does not solve men abandoning their children there are many divorced couples where the man turns his back on his children and starts again like he was never married .
Guy you have soo much wisdom your really blessed bro really blessed, you are a powerful guy we need to use this your gift bro...believe......... your stuff bro highly recommended
I can only say that our women should please only leave their men as a last result. There are many terrible m en calling themselves husbands or partners and do not know what it means. Once there is child or children involved, it is the responsibility of both parents to ensure they sacrifice enough to stay a family unit for the sake of the children because as you rightly said, such decision today will inevitably have an adverse effect on the kids tomorrow. Their is a Yoruba adage that goes "Oju oloju mewa, ko da mi meji ti e" meaning"ten pairs of other peoples' eyes can never be as effective like your two eyes" No man can ever be true father to your children and for that reason alone, it's worth sacrificing yourself for their benefit. I recognise there are instances whereby a woman must say goodbye to a man and rightly so but it's worth using ones wisdom in situations as such. Thank you
Phrankleen I completely agree with you. A lot of problems in the black community, is as a result of kids not having a positive father figure. When this cycle ends maybe we can move forward as a group. Also, my response to the “westernized woman” is ; men and women are equal, but we don’t have equal responsibilities, and I think that’s were some women get it wrong and think that they don’t need a man, which isn’t healthy.
"Positive father figure" - that's the key phrase. Regrettably, some homes boast father figure-heads, with no positive involvement in their children's lives. They leave all the bonding and caring to the mothers and then turn around and complain. Children need more than just the physical presence; they need the emotional and psychological. support of their fathers too. Kudos to the many responsible fathers out there!
Anyone who has grown up in a western colonised country or in the diaspora is WESTERNISED - even down to the villages because they are jurisdictions under WESTERNISED governments which rule over them. The symptoms of WESTERNISATION may show up in varying degrees but it is still true so it is confusing to start a discussion based on assessing only women when have been under the same experience. It just doesn't add up.
You are on point. Feminism and the laws corrupt these women. That is why it is difficult to believe any good woman could be found in the West as long as these laws exist. The homewrecking laws and the feminist system in place is actually the problem, not these women. The laws made it that you have to rely only on her claims of being a good woman and then be subjected under her emotional whims. That is why the family system is a mess there and none ever lasts long. This same madness of feminism is what many of these African westernized women copy.
@@debravo7164 hmmmm... I am pretty sure I don't agree with you. It is important to understand what Africa was really like pre-european/colonial impact,you will be very surprised to know the truth.
@@debravo7164 the comment section of someone's topic is not the place to do that level of intrusive history without doing it an injustice. There's plenty sources available online these days so it wouldn't be difficult to look into it. I will briefly mention that the concept of males being the progenitor of life is a european ideology which arose from greek philosophy hence they cleave to the ideology that male are before everything and should rule over all whereas the african concept of that the female via the womb is the progentor of life and accorded her respect for it ; instead of the domination and the subjugation of African females that has been in practice since the europeans influenced and colonsied africans. It is recorded that when the europeans arrived in Africa to trade even before slavery they were suprised to find African women owning and running businesses and they didn't want to do deals with them with as their own european women were nowhere near that free to do such where they came from. The point is that the African man as he exists today is just as westernised as the African woman, because it is western men who never gave their women freedom to start with, Africa learnt and copied it. You can come to your own conclusions from your research.
@@MoneyOptionsConnect Well I don't know which part of Africa you were referring to but the place I came from and the majority of other African countries practiced patriarchy, that was the norm before the advent of the Europeans. Though there were some few places where the matriarchy existed, like some parts of DRC Congo, Ghana, equatorial guinea, etc which were very insignificant compared to the whole of Africa. You must understand that patriarchy never in any way meant the subjugation of women in Africa. It had been the European way in the past, and as well a tool for them to use to cause disunity and help push their agenda against others, and not African. Women have always owned wealth and businesses and have never been subjugated in any way in Africa. Africa operated mainly on merit-based, and honor was given to whoever it is due. In the olden days, we never had laws like the Europeans do but rather, many Africans had their gods and lived by the rules of these gods. There were female chief priestesses then. They say whatever the gods told them and everyone lived by it even though they all lived in patriarchy. Ignore these Europeans and their gender madness. That is their delusions and surely a tool that will destroy them if they didn't wake up.
Whether male or female, western or eastern there are good folks and evil folks and if we are all honest with ourselves, when we meet someone we know if we should move forward or not. People's spirits give off signs or energy both positive and negative. Sometimes we pay attention and walk away when we see the negativity sometimes we don't walk away. We would all do well to walk away when we see the negativity to avoid relationships that are not for our good.
I can't wait to listen to your recommendations on how ADOS mentality shifts to been cordial to one another and unity each other rather than shaming one another. I feel constructive criticism within our community should be embraced to support one another. Communism is the politics to practice in the African continent for us to show the world how strong we can rise above drugs, poverty, greed, ignorance and all sorts that infest our community that can be stronger than is available in the majority these days. You so right though, the front is cool and cordial relationship helps so we are not broken down further.
even in nigeria women breaking up other people's home for they own selfish reason so not only in the west they travel with it in they minds shame on them greed is the main reason i dont know why some women sell them selve's so cheap for money
You are right on the single mum thing, the school definitely comes for you. I realise that when they see you have no male support around you government bodies do take the piss. I nearly got caught up in it, but I have to stand very firm on my own, and I did a lot of research to fight them so I could keep my son out of the system. It worked for me but it's hard work. I'm happy my son now is 17yrs old and a wonderful young man. But yeah the struggle is real when you are a single mum, very easy prey as you put it.
interesting take. Man, the redpill truths you're spitting are some scary stuff especially the part where you mentioned the State preying on Single mothers and fathers(Basically striving on broken families)
Hi I am one of your fans, but I strongly disagree with you in some ways. Not every single mother is poor or struggling infact I have a seen a lot of single mothers who are emotionally and financially stable after leaving abusive relationships. I know a lot of Yuroba men who do not provide for their wives and children. The woman virtually works and provides for the whole household.
PRETTY OKECHUKWU Did you bother to watch the video at all? and if you did, do you have a good grasp of what’s said in the video? Who said every single mother is poor? and did you not repeatedly hear me say if you are in a relationship that’s evidently one of domestic violence and or emotional abuse, leave and run for your life! 🤔 I really don’t get what you are talking about.
I have watched the whole video Phrankleen and I am actually dealing with a case of an Asian family where the wife has been asked to choose between her husband or the children because the husband is abusing her emotionally, fighting for the children's money and has been to pick the children drunk. The father is there but they have come to attention of the authorities because of the father's behaviour. It's a tricky topic that needs to be balanced though.
@Ichigo 123 I am not a Nigerian woman but I am grateful I married a hardworking Igbo man who provides for his children regardless of whether I am there or not. In other words his children are his priority.
In America it’s a fact that a woman will not get certain government services if the man is around, that is a fact. And some women has loads of kids to get that government money!!
I feel as though women are becoming more enlightened and opening eyes. I d say there is no fire without smoke. from my little experience of life I am in my 20s. Some men use their wives and add no value and once the woman open eyes they want to separate because they believe their life would be better here in the UK some women prefer to be single mothers they claim it is beneficial financially. However I do feel marriage should work unless there are abuse e.g. physical abuse. I will say knife/gun crime nowadays is on the increase and it is disturbing absent fathers, lack of role models.
I also don't buy the idea that blacks are targeted or they need special support system. Same law for everybody. If you commit a crime and the punishment doesn't seem to fit the gravity of the crime, Denzel Washington said, don't help the system by committing crimes. Just stop the crime. If they say smoking weed is a crime, it might seem harmless to anyone but it means don't smoke weed. No one dies from not committing petty crimes.
Everybody is oppressed. There's nothing happening or that has happened to the black man that isn't or hasn't happened to people of other races in the same geosphere. Let's just say, I don't have any empirical evidence that we're treated differently from others because of our skin color. And if it is the case that it's not about the treatment in and of itself but about the frequency, then that begs the question, Why? It might have to do with how we are perceived which might then have to do with what we display. I don't know if you get my drift.
@@bonnechance6988 Yep. Show me one thing that has happened to any black person on a systemic level and tell me it hasn't happened to another race and I'll find you and example of similar things happening to others.
As much as I agree, if men are interested in keeping the family together they should learn to tolerate shit too😂 but men can't; it just somehow happens they are the only one with egoistical DNAs 🤔(sarcasm). Just another critical angle to look at it. If your wife says she doesn't like the way you talk to her, for the kids future, men should learn to talk nicely and respectfully. Men also have a responsibility to keep the home front and no woman will want to leave a man who treats her right. It just so happens that men that have fallen victim and families that fell victim, the men met the wrong women and didn't take the time to study them to know how best to lead and rule in their own home. Let's be real the young women of today, are the children of yesterday who watched how their fathers treated their mothers, whether he was around or not, it's part of it and so many had resolution's. The sons watched their mothers patience but didn't see their mother's pain becos they were taught not to be sensitive, but to be strong but the daughters saw... And today here is the result... The sons expect same from their wives, but the wives have resorted not to be like that ... We end up with angry women and distressed men who don't know how to be husbands or even fathers especially in this world today There are exceptions, the ones who unlearned and learned... They do it differently not like of old but loving differently and uniquely. The African family need to be balanced, men and women need to love, respect each other. Recognise differences , understand each other and adapt. This is not the job of one person but two, don't bring your father's vision into marriage, don't bring your mother's decision or burden into your home. Create yours until we get here, where love reigns in the heart of men, not ego, not sex, not pride, not material gains, not anger the problem may continue... God's peace
Westernized materialism is the culprit. But the psychological mechine has women in its grasp, almost in the direct proportion of there earning power compared to men......... this is probably not a mistake. 😗🤔🤨😑😶😏😲😱😳🧐🤓
I have no problem with my wife earning more than me and have no issues with her ambitions and she should have no issues with my ambitions. When it comes to domestic chores, there are things I do and things I just don't do. There are things I wouldn't do but I would do if I have no choice. Example, if my wife goes to work early and I go abit later, it falls on me to get the kids ready for school then, like bathing bfst etc. If we both work early, I don't mind having to do extra gigs to get money so we can both pay someone like a nanny to do it. But when it comes to things like cooking or laundry etc, I'm not even interested sef and if she can't do it, she should hire somebody and if she can't afford it, we're not meant for each other. E no hard. The only reason I would do what I do for the kids is because they're my kids, I love them and I'm responsible for them even if mummy doesn't want to be, but everything else, Leave am as e be hahahahahahaha
Boi..you re fucqen making SEBSE..and I barely listen to anyone especially those who are unknowingly arrogant...I’ve been on your channel for over five hours I am all freaking 👂🏾👂🏾
Nkemakolam Nnanna it’s subjective... go with the reasonable / realistic list of qualities you want in a partner and don’t forget to also bring the so called qualities to the table. Misogyny, domestic abuse, bullying etc definitely shouldn’t be on your list. Avoid an evidently manipulative, dishonest person... keep your eyes wide open from the early days.
First of all. Don’t get married -it’s 2019 marriage has very little benefits for a guy today. But if you must, it’s very easy. A good partner (in the West) should be wealthier than you are. She should have more assets than you do. She stays back in Africa if she has nothing to her name. You’ll live longer. Thank me later.
@Chinonso I tire for men like you oh. Why don't you try some positivity like Phrankleen? The materialism that we're saying is causing issues is the crux of your advice. Abeg! Stop!
Go for the nerds, the brainy guys, the not so good looking ones, the ones the "babes" overlook because they "got no game". These "dry" boys are busy with studies or keeping their heads down working and building a stable future. They will treat you like a queen and of course can guarantee a stable financial future with their disciplined work ethic. Are Mr Microsoft and Mr Facebook foine? Who cares? They have brain and they have power and respect. I am advising you from the bottom of my heart. And pray for God's wisdom.
![Chino Pacas - Smith (ft. Junior H & Fuerza Regida) [Video Visualizador Oficial]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/BVK6k56X30Y/mqdefault.jpg)
Great topic indeed. Years ago, I dated a guy who said I was too Westernised because I challenged him from time to time. I said to him that a real man would not mind a woman challenging him at times. Also, he had a massive problem with me being on contraception because he wanted to desperately get me pregnant. I later found out that he had multiple kids with multiple women. I told myself I will not be a single mother. Now I am happily married to a wonderful Igbo man and we are about to have our first child :)
Good for you, Mbali!
Happy for u sis! Congratulations 👏🏾👏🏾
I am pretty sure the guy would give us another version of the story!!! 😀
You don't know what a real man wants. Do you challenge your Igbo husband? The nerve of you to justify this nonsense what what a real man wants
Myriam Fatim I’m sure he would give his own version.
This is a very very v important topic that every black woman needs to listen to. Everything you’re discussing here i discussed last week. I work for the council and in an authority position I can’t say much here but all I can say is great presentation. It’s sad how many blacks I meet each day always coming for govt assistance. We need to empower ourselves. The demise of the black family is not westernisation, it’s having children out of wedlock!! And lack of responsible male figures and role models.
Thank you uncle Phrankleen for this topic. It is not just greed about money, it's also greed generated by the lies they believe. In Africa, a lot of people consider non-black westerners as superior to Africans. When they get exposed to an opportunity where they could be considered an equal to non-black westerners, then they start having a ridiculously grandiose sense of self-worth. I feel like a lot of people are also having a hard time creating a balance between our black culture and the influence of the west. It took me a hard time to find this balance, but I'm happy with where I am now and hope I get better. I spent a lot of time observing non-black people to establish my criteria for my ideal state and it caused me so much trouble because the truth is just like you said - the same rules don't apply to me as a black woman. I am back to square one and learning to love myself, my culture, but also thriving as a western woman. I have promised myself to never forget where I'm from, but to always look towards the best of my people. I am hoping more black/African millennials in the west seek to create a balance between who they are and what they can or want to be. This breeds acceptance and love for the black family and a stronger desire to prove to the world that they can exist!! ✌🏽
Ada, you're right. Black women can find themselves stuck between a rock and a hard place because of the expectations placed on us and how they might conflict with the expections we have of ourselves. Life to be seems to be a journey - where you start is not destined to be where you end up. And each part of the journey demands adaptation, but not necessarily assimilation. The way things are done "back home" don't necessarily work where you are right now. So, I think do what works best for you. A partner from back home needs to adapt if he leaves there to come to the West because certain things don't work well here, and vice versa. So, find out a perspective partner's views and attitudes in their home environment, where they feel most at home before you hitch yourself to them. Choose carefully. That's all we can do.
@ Ada A, from your word "I feel like a lot of people are also having a hard time creating a balance between our black culture and the influence of the west". You are actually referring to black people who are supposed not to have any self-esteem of their own. Why should we consider making any balance between our culture and that of the West? Have you seen them making any balance with ours? When in their land, they insist on you living their lifestyle through their laws and when in our land they insist on living THEIR own lifestyle, not ours. Asians have their culture, and you don't see them trying hard to create a balance with the West. Why must it be blacks especially Africans? Isn't it clear that you are operating under colonial influence and completely lacking self-esteem? Are you a white person? Where are your African values?
Throw some light on the current knife crime in the UK. No one is doing anything because it’s blacks killing blacks. There was six murder in the last 5 days in London alone. It’s so worrying.
I have heard about those attacks and killings. There's a similar thing going on here in Scandinavia, teens from black families in Oslo, and Stockholm are known to join gangs and attack people with knives The reason could be the dysfunction & instability in black families.
@Ichigo 123 I believe you can express your opinion without resorting to name calling. Nothing @NubianQueen said warrants your labelling her "dumb". You may want to direct your anger elsewhere. Even if you've had bad experiences in the past, no one on this forum deserves your transferred aggression.
@Ichigo 123,
You're a racist, bottom line!!!
@@knowthyself5044 he's saying the truth.
This video has made me Love and Respect my husband more. God bless you Mr Phrankleen
I've been listening to you and I never regret subscribing to your channel. Your thought provoking knowledge is highly commendable. I wish I had this benefit of listening to words of reasoning from somebody like you long time ago. God knows best. Thank you though.
Me too, I just discovered him and I must say I am loving the truths here.
Another nice one, Phrankleen! You always provide a balanced view of controversial issues. I wish others could do the same!!!! There are unscrupulous men and women out there - sadly so. Since this video specifically targets unscrupulous women, I have this to say. I can never understand why anyone would purposely destroy her home just to collect benefits from the government. It makes no sense! What exactly does the system offer, except a pittance that steamrolls a person into a vicious cycle of poverty? Women who think they can get by on government benefits are truly deceiving themselves. They must have a warped sense of self worth. Furthermore, why put the children through that kind of viciousness? Why treat the men who don't deserve it that way? My heart truly goes out to these men. Really sad! And to the women who genuinely find themselves in a bad relationship and have to get out, I wish you much strength and courage.
Bonne Chance well articulated 😊👌🏾
I'm not a psychologist and definately not defending bad behaviour but "viscous" women are usually reacting to some sort of abuse, disappointment or disfunction in their past. Abusive men the same thing - bad role models and negative cultural affirmation.
@@shadele17 Those are factors to consider as well. Thanks for sharing.
@Ichigo 123 Thanks, but your "very easy explanation" doesn't really explain anything.
@@shadele17 If you believe that "viscous" women as you said, were reacting to abuse, disappointment or dysfunction, wouldn't it be sensible for the "abusive men" as you wrote it, to also have that right to vent their emotions when they need to? Why should that freedom be given only to such women and not the men? Or are they not humans with needs and pains also? Are you trying to say that all women are saints and can do no wrong even when it is very clear they can be just as evil, if not even more than the men can? Both should be given equal chance and justice in the West if equality is what you meant.
When i met my man he encouraged me to stop eating meat, stop smoking, stop partying he encouraged me to be more creative with food, writing etc. l became a changed person but he was an immature undercover polygamist who did not tell the the women he couldn't be with one woman, problm is it disturbed the family developing the necessary balance to stay together, and hence another broken family.
To Ocean Chime, your comment is convoluted. You say positive things about him in one vein, i.e helping you be a better person and then add a personal flaw to seemingly contradict his virtue. Stick to one argument or think properly before posting your comment. It is not clear what you are getting at
@@Hero-pp5yh No it just shows that going forward progressively & heading a household aint for a faint hearted man, taking family life for granted via lust, greed etc has nothing to do with putting your best foot forward to start a family which requires both husband & wife to provide & protect lead & follow, follow & lead.
@@Hero-pp5yh Seemingly good people have flaws. She was simply pointing that out. On the one hand. he was good to her; on the other hand. he had a flaw that was a deal breaker.
@Victoria Adeyemi omg!!
Most of the points mentioned occurs in relationships that are geographically located in Nigeria also. The "westernised women" label seem inappropriate. The real crux is to watch out for a certain type of woman or avoid legal marriage altogether regardless of location. There are women in Nigeria who get their husbands arrested by police or hire thugs to beat him up or ruin his life in many ways. Relocating to the UK will not neccesarily change anyones real character.
TJ Fasan 😁😁 you know in Naija the man fit tear singlet, break bottle and make some Ogboju moves say him no go gree! For Abroad on the other hand 🤭😀😀😀 if I hear ....
@@Phrankleen13 I suppose men and even some accomplished women should seek means to protect themselves against the ugly side of marriage 1. Stay away from legal marriage (traditional, church or mosque marriage is good enough) making a relationship legally binding when the other person will profit enormously from divorce is ill advised.
2. Keep a secret video or audio diary to defend himself or herself against false allegations.
3. Have a plan B ie invest in home country, at least have a house and good savings in home country. Dont put all your resources in the UK or US or any other foreign country.
4. Get a good legal adviser even if the marriage seem ok at the moment.
5. Sleep with one eye open...🤣
westernization is beyond geographical location..a lot of women living in africa are westernized too
Wives leaving their husbands or having a side lover or just generally behaving badly has existed for centuries even before any contact with western civilisation. A common word in traditional Nigerian - yoruba culture is omoale which translate "child from another lover". I know grandmas that had children for 3 or more different husbands who grew up in the 1900's with little or no contact with western culture. It's all about staying away from certain type of women or even men because all they bring is chaos.
Very inappropriate, I live in the USA. I like most of Phrankleen's, content but I'm offended a lot by the wordage used
What do you'll mean by westernized?
I am a Mother, I am a Woman, I am a Sister, I respect myself to the fullest.
I also give respect when due.
I raised my family w/ moral and values. Oh, by-the-way I did it with hard work and grind, no assistance from the government. Furthermore, I became a single mother because I refused to stay in a abusive relationship🌻💛🌻
Peace, Blessings, Light, and Love💛
Can't really pick a side on this topic because its good and bad at the same time , depending on the human u dealing with , one thing tho as human we see can kind of tell when who we are dating is gonna be problematic, but we tend to deceive our self with love, possibility of changing the person, and religion.
My advice is you see something odd you end it , doesn't have to be towards you , could be what he or she does to a friend, family, stranger , as long as u can't take it if your partner does the same yo you ,you run cuz it definitely will be done to you .
Western or local a demon is a demon .
Firstly, I must apologise for my reaction to the first part of this video.
In this second part you have hit the nail on the head. God bless you bro
Hi Phrankleen, been watching your content for some time now, and I’m hooked. Thank you for your authenticity and for shining a light on topics that matter.
Dami Adisa Thanks for watching my content and supporting the channel 😊👌🏾
Once again this brother has spoken FACTS!! Your discussions were well balanced out. The Black families, both on the continent and in the diasporas need to get stronger and realize we are facing the same enemy of destruction.
This past January, I started talking to this guy who just arrived the US on a Green Card the June prior. I have been here for a while. We had intended on dating, though physically he wasn't my type (I'm petite and he is too, or maybe short). I was willing to give him a chance.
First, he was insecure that I earned way more than he did. I'm independent and wanting to buy my house, etc. I encounraged him to get an American degree/certification in a lucrative field and that soon, tables might be turned.
Second, he didn't like my low cut and advised I grow it. Well, I wanted a new hairdo like dreads or curls. So I decide to start growing it.
Third, before every little conversation, he would remind me that he is the man in the friendship/relationship. He would remind me that it wasn't his job to enter the kitchen nor do laundry. It wasn't his job to do most of the domestics. I laughed at the fool. I reminded him where he now lives and the culture that exists. If the both of us are bringing home the pie, both of us should also be responsible for cleaning up it's stains. It's a culture of partnership rather than master-slaveship. He would say "the westernized woman is the reason many Nigerian homes have "scattered" in America. You have become too westernized". I would ask him, "what does that even mean?" To not condone bad behaviour. To be free from the culture that enslaves women and makes them secondclass citizens in their country and in their homes is to be "westernized"? Hell yea! I want to be westernized. I have maintained this attitude since I was 8 years old. To be treated right isn't something I compromise on.
He once asked me if he hits me whether I'd call the cops. Mistakenly or not. Hell yeah! You damn right boy! And he then said, see, you don't care whether or not the home breaks. Dude, why should such responsibility be placed on a woman? Shouldn't we all strive to be the best version of ourselves?🤷♂️
He would begin to say the things his mum does and tolerates. And she does so to "keep" the family. Am I your mother? If she chooses to tolerate mysogyny and enslavement, that's her choice. Mine should be respected as well. Everyone deserves a shot at happiness. No be me kill Jesus 😏
In the end, I just couldn't stand him. It was obvious we didn't share same values. He was holding on to the mysogynistic and devaluing ways of most African men. I told him to change his way of thought, else he would encounter a "westernized woman" and see hell in America because this is 2019 and not 1902.
I have already started dating outside of my race. I'm back to my old hairdo and it takes a lot of firepower to pull it off. And I do it gracefully and elegantly. 😁
May God help us all in finding true happiness.✌️
*** PS: I still agree with Phrankleen that there are some women who are interested in only child and spousal support payments. And free housing. I work in the financial industry. I see it everyday. But the caption of this post is what bothers me.
@@nellycious1692 Okay, have you asked why it's destroying the black family? Are we the only ethnicity in these countries? Why is it just us? Isn't there something wrong with the way our women are treated? Or the way our men are raised? Or what free passes our societies have given our men? Not taking responsibilities for their own fuck ups?
PS: I grew up with my Dad having lost my mum at a young age. He still cleaned, washed dishes, and did some other domestics even until he was 60 years. He would say "Pruddie, sweep downstairs let me sweep upstairs and we'd meet at the staircase". On Sundays, when we'd leave early for church only eating bread and tea, upon arrival, my older brother would be fuming at me. Why? Because he's hungry. Dad usually yelled at him stating " wasn't it the same bread and tea everyone ate before they left the house? Why would you be fuming for your sister because she hasn't cooked or that the food is delayed? Is she your housegirl or slave? If you're so hungry, why can't you go into the kitchen and cook by yourself and for everyone to eat?" That was the kind of a home I grew up in. We worked as a team and rebuked every kind of mysogynistic behaviours.
I recall my 10th birthday, it was a Friday, mum was on call at her clinic, I was to go to boarding school the next day, my Dad made sumptuous meals for us and the visitors. I will not deviate from such treatment and could inculcate same in my son's.
You can go ahead and do as you were taught. Let me do mine. But for you to generalize and act as though you know me is just plain stupid.
BTW, Dad was born in the 50s and knew how to treat women😏. And also, I took care of my family from age 15 to 26 before I left for the Western world.
That guy was just one of the many Nigerian men I have encountered here. Tradition my ass. Please forget religion. The most heinous crimes in history have been perpetrated in the name of religion and continue to be. Religion of oppression and enslavement. Enough already! We're tired of this much BS.
Bye Felicia!
It was good that you gave him a chance. That's crucial. Describing how you grew up shows that you weren't brainwashed by the system but influenced by unfortunate circumstances but in a loving home. In a way, you gave him good medicine that hopefully will help him in his journey.
"dating outside of my race" is a very loaded statement. care to shed some light for we slow ones in the back?
@Pruddie, I was once engaged to a man with a similar attitude. When I realized what awaited me, I dumped him. For effect, I returned his engagement ring in his father's presence. I have no regrets. I moved on and met somebody much better. Having said that, Phrankleen is right to call out women who are manipulating their relationships and the system for material gains. That's a different group of women, and they span all social and educational strata. Not that the men don't manipulate the system too. Many of them marry those "liberated"/ westernized African women or foreigners to gain citizenship, the green card, or right of abode. I guess this is a topic for another video.
We can't blame anyone but ourselves for this bad situation; our ancestors fought and died for the things we take for granted.
What has this got to do with anything
Shane Chambers ,it has a lot to do with everything., Stop showing your ignorance please.
@@jocca4901 You add no value to this serious issue within the black family. Just worthless generic statements to make you sound intelligent.
@@jayo3074 , I am intelligent, you need a lesson in etiquette.
@@jayo3074 ,no need to be jealous and disrespectful.
Great topic. Well done for highlighting this as it’s been on my mind for quite some time now.
You said it all, quite disheartening when you see this group of women destroying their homes.. God bless you bro.
And the childrens too. I will only leave if there is mental, emotional and physical abuse. And if me and my partner have to break up, I will make sure that we stay in real good terms so our son can get both of our love and support. Because our black boys are getting attract left right and centre, when they see that they are living in a housewole where there's no man to stand up to them.
Always on point my bro. Our churches need to educate our families about these things. I am a professional working in that SS and I see this every day and I 🤦♂️
I have seen this happen to the men in our family, particularly those that married other races. Sad sad affair to witness and the children suffer the most, an ugly mark on the black community as a whole. Excellent topic as there is no progress without strong families. Blessings from Bay Area, CA, USA
Marriage is highly overated.
😷😷😷😷
ACTUALLY IT IS NOT
True dat
Yes, especially when you know that the most abuses take place within a so called perfect marriage.
I don’t think that he is talking about marriage in the legal sense. He is talking about two parent households. Everyone that has studied child welfare has come to the conclusion that two parent households are far superior to one-parent households.
You've done it again brother, thanks so much🙏🏿🙏🏿
Wow! You're doing a great job bro. This is a great and important topic. Thanks for saying it as it is. Keep it up!
Good topic Phrankleen as always.I was especially interested in the notion that once the woman goes to the council, she is encouraged to ditch the man which resonated with me from my time of living in the US. This practice, it said, is behind the demise of the African-American family, whereby Uncle Sam becomes the replacement daddy, so long as the man is out of the house. Many say this policy was a deliberate move to destroy the black family in the US, and from an emotional perspective it may appear so. When I think of the same pressures being applied here in the UK, I am now wondering whether this pressure from social services is more about the bureaucracy creating more need for its own existence or power and so must create many more 'victims' for them to serve.
It is purely about business and money making. The men and their resources are the targets while these women are just their tools using sex as the bait. They don't care about the wellbeing of the black families but the manipulation of these females and the money they make.
I hope some of These black women listen to this Topic.Thx Phrankleen
Thank you brother for the message, your always on point.
Frankleen, u r so Right.I have seen it first hand, some official telling the children that if you don't understand each other with ur children, the child can move out. I could not believe this, I ask the lady, when she and her children have a different of an opinion does she send her child packing.? I than realized that there is a hidden agenda.
The name you are after is called 'the liberated sisters'
Ifèhnna Nnamdi. Stay away from baby mama they ruined life 🏃♀️
Ur words comes with wisdom my dear i absolutely agree with you, it's so shameful how our black families came here and decided to disrespect our ethics, no respect for the man who paid ur bride price I mean its awful. You deserve an award for this continue the good work 👍👍😘💕
I love listening to you, you explain everything very simple way
I actually agree with you on this one. Some women are like as you say. Great video
Phrankleen i really appreciate your factual contents. More power to your elbow.
Smith KT thanks 🙏🏾🤗
Hello Uncle Frank good day thanks a million for your video....have a beautiful weekend.
Totally on point as always Phrankleen.
Empress E Thanks 🙏🏾
Bro your tooo real, I love your channel your a breath of fresh air, God bless you
🙏🏾🙏🏾 thanks bro
Thanks bro.thank you for the truth you're revealing
I don't think there's anything in the system to strengthen any family regardless of colour, race or creed. The only reason the black family is peculiar is because we're naturally still more patriachal and the women are growing wings. Not a lot of black men want to be home doing dishes and changing diapers. The Asian men are also very patriachal but the women aren't growing wings. They stick to the culture. The white man, many don't mind being stay home dads. This is one of the reasons why there's discrepancies in results.
Enjoying the new content
Good work Phrankleen. God bless bro.
On point Phrankleen.
I learn so much from your content uncle F but I equally have a good laugh, at your terminology !!! 😂😂😂
Everytime "Gang" comes up, oh lawd 😂😂😂
Orango Selena Adewinogo 🤭😀😀
Hey Phrankleen,do you have a podcast channel? You should contact some TV and radio stations and send them some demos of your stuff as I think you could do well in one or both of those fields,I think you would be great making documentaries ect,just a thought man,your voice should be heard by more,I've told a lot of my friends and family about your channel,keep up the good work,peace out.
The western law doesn’t favor men these days. I met a lot of men who marry from Thailand, China, Vietnam and all of the supposed third world countries including South American countries as well. All of these men are divorced and I remember one of them telling me in his words “Please don’t get married and if you do, don’t bring any of them to the west, else she’ll take you to the cleaners”. True story.
Fact, you are on point. Western/American laws are purely anti-marriage and insane. Most previously peaceful marriages from these places you mentioned suddenly became toxic, problematic and crumble once in Amerika all because of these female's light brains and irrationality and fantasy mindsets or hallucinations aided by the system. It's sad! Amerika is not an environment fit for any true marriage. It is better to remain single/unmarried as a man while in these places for your safety and happiness.
I liked your point about misinterpreting freedom. I think there's a tendency to think that freedom means playing into your gut urges or human nature like selfishness. With that kind of mindset odds are you're going to struggle when it comes to something like marriage which in its foundation is about sharing.
We need to speak more on this topic and change the narrative. It’s embarrassing when u consider the statistics. One big problem is having kids out of wedlock. I know we can’t blame women always for this but we need to be alert as women and wise. Please do more of this so we get many women educated. The system is not for us it’s against us. Don’t fall a trap to it.
Sellin Farsen Word 👌🏾
Sellin Farsen Wedlock does not solve men abandoning their children there are many divorced couples where the man turns his back on his children and starts again like he was never married .
Guy you have soo much wisdom your really blessed bro really blessed, you are a powerful guy we need to use this your gift bro...believe......... your stuff bro highly recommended
Thanks for sharing
A woman is a man with a womb. Keep that in mind
I can only say that our women should please only leave their men as a last result. There are many terrible m en calling themselves husbands or partners and do not know what it means. Once there is child or children involved, it is the responsibility of both parents to ensure they sacrifice enough to stay a family unit for the sake of the children because as you rightly said, such decision today will inevitably have an adverse effect on the kids tomorrow. Their is a Yoruba adage that goes "Oju oloju mewa, ko da mi meji ti e" meaning"ten pairs of other peoples' eyes can never be as effective like your two eyes" No man can ever be true father to your children and for that reason alone, it's worth sacrificing yourself for their benefit. I recognise there are instances whereby a woman must say goodbye to a man and rightly so but it's worth using ones wisdom in situations as such. Thank you
Phrankleen I completely agree with you. A lot of problems in the black community, is as a result of kids not having a positive father figure. When this cycle ends maybe we can move forward as a group. Also, my response to the “westernized woman” is ; men and women are equal, but we don’t have equal responsibilities, and I think that’s were some women get it wrong and think that they don’t need a man, which isn’t healthy.
"Positive father figure" - that's the key phrase. Regrettably, some homes boast father figure-heads, with no positive involvement in their children's lives. They leave all the bonding and caring to the mothers and then turn around and complain. Children need more than just the physical presence; they need the emotional and psychological. support of their fathers too. Kudos to the many responsible fathers out there!
What I love in you is that you always faced the both side.
Spot-on
Anyone who has grown up in a western colonised country or in the diaspora is WESTERNISED - even down to the villages because they are jurisdictions under WESTERNISED governments which rule over them. The symptoms of WESTERNISATION may show up in varying degrees but it is still true so it is confusing to start a discussion based on assessing only women when have been under the same experience. It just doesn't add up.
You are on point. Feminism and the laws corrupt these women. That is why it is difficult to believe any good woman could be found in the West as long as these laws exist. The homewrecking laws and the feminist system in place is actually the problem, not these women. The laws made it that you have to rely only on her claims of being a good woman and then be subjected under her emotional whims. That is why the family system is a mess there and none ever lasts long. This same madness of feminism is what many of these African westernized women copy.
@@debravo7164 hmmmm... I am pretty sure I don't agree with you. It is important to understand what Africa was really like pre-european/colonial impact,you will be very surprised to know the truth.
@@MoneyOptionsConnect What was it like then?
@@debravo7164 the comment section of someone's topic is not the place to do that level of intrusive history without doing it an injustice. There's plenty sources available online these days so it wouldn't be difficult to look into it. I will briefly mention that the concept of males being the progenitor of life is a european ideology which arose from greek philosophy hence they cleave to the ideology that male are before everything and should rule over all whereas the african concept of that the female via the womb is the progentor of life and accorded her respect for it ; instead of the domination and the subjugation of African females that has been in practice since the europeans influenced and colonsied africans. It is recorded that when the europeans arrived in Africa to trade even before slavery they were suprised to find African women owning and running businesses and they didn't want to do deals with them with as their own european women were nowhere near that free to do such where they came from. The point is that the African man as he exists today is just as westernised as the African woman, because it is western men who never gave their women freedom to start with, Africa learnt and copied it. You can come to your own conclusions from your research.
@@MoneyOptionsConnect Well I don't know which part of Africa you were referring to but the place I came from and the majority of other African countries practiced patriarchy, that was the norm before the advent of the Europeans. Though there were some few places where the matriarchy existed, like some parts of DRC Congo, Ghana, equatorial guinea, etc which were very insignificant compared to the whole of Africa. You must understand that patriarchy never in any way meant the subjugation of women in Africa. It had been the European way in the past, and as well a tool for them to use to cause disunity and help push their agenda against others, and not African. Women have always owned wealth and businesses and have never been subjugated in any way in Africa. Africa operated mainly on merit-based, and honor was given to whoever it is due. In the olden days, we never had laws like the Europeans do but rather, many Africans had their gods and lived by the rules of these gods. There were female chief priestesses then. They say whatever the gods told them and everyone lived by it even though they all lived in patriarchy. Ignore these Europeans and their gender madness. That is their delusions and surely a tool that will destroy them if they didn't wake up.
Whether male or female, western or eastern there are good folks and evil folks and if we are all honest with ourselves, when we meet someone we know if we should move forward or not. People's spirits give off signs or energy both positive and negative. Sometimes we pay attention and walk away when we see the negativity sometimes we don't walk away. We would all do well to walk away when we see the negativity to avoid relationships that are not for our good.
Shout out to all the realistic educated and progressive men and women out there.
Marietta I bless up ✊🏾☺️
Hello everyone!) Love from 🇺🇦
May God grant you all your heart desires!🙏🏽
The Professor hey! Shout out from the U.K. 👊🏾😊
I can't wait to listen to your recommendations on how ADOS mentality shifts to been cordial to one another and unity each other rather than shaming one another. I feel constructive criticism within our community should be embraced to support one another. Communism is the politics to practice in the African continent for us to show the world how strong we can rise above drugs, poverty, greed, ignorance and all sorts that infest our community that can be stronger than is available in the majority these days. You so right though, the front is cool and cordial relationship helps so we are not broken down further.
Stay away from baby mama!
top video bro..keep 'em comin
Well said!!
You are so much on point bro
even in nigeria women breaking up other people's home for they own selfish reason so not only in the west they travel with it in they minds shame on them greed is the main reason i dont know why some women sell them selve's so cheap for money
May God give us all the MIND of Christ.Some women are terrible and some men are dangerous.
Come on people not enough views. If you look like me this post should be a required review, reaction and on schedule for further discussion
Love your channel though ⚡️
Well done
You are right on the single mum thing, the school definitely comes for you. I realise that when they see you have no male support around you government bodies do take the piss. I nearly got caught up in it, but I have to stand very firm on my own, and I did a lot of research to fight them so I could keep my son out of the system. It worked for me but it's hard work. I'm happy my son now is 17yrs old and a wonderful young man. But yeah the struggle is real when you are a single mum, very easy prey as you put it.
interesting take. Man, the redpill truths you're spitting are some scary stuff especially the part where you mentioned the State preying on Single mothers and fathers(Basically striving on broken families)
Let us try to build a strong black family.
Thank u
Hi I am one of your fans, but I strongly disagree with you in some ways. Not every single mother is poor or struggling infact I have a seen a lot of single mothers who are emotionally and financially stable after leaving abusive relationships. I know a lot of Yuroba men who do not provide for their wives and children. The woman virtually works and provides for the whole household.
PRETTY OKECHUKWU Did you bother to watch the video at all? and if you did, do you have a good grasp of what’s said in the video? Who said every single mother is poor? and did you not repeatedly hear me say if you are in a relationship that’s evidently one of domestic violence and or emotional abuse, leave and run for your life! 🤔 I really don’t get what you are talking about.
I have watched the whole video Phrankleen and I am actually dealing with a case of an Asian family where the wife has been asked to choose between her husband or the children because the husband is abusing her emotionally, fighting for the children's money and has been to pick the children drunk. The father is there but they have come to attention of the authorities because of the father's behaviour. It's a tricky topic that needs to be balanced though.
@Ichigo 123 I am not a Nigerian woman but I am grateful I married a hardworking Igbo man who provides for his children regardless of whether I am there or not. In other words his children are his priority.
@Ichigo 123 Very sickening brother.
In America it’s a fact that a woman will not get certain government services if the man is around, that is a fact. And some women has loads of kids to get that government money!!
is very very important to know our histroy
They won't be there when the cookies crumble.
I feel as though women are becoming more enlightened and opening eyes. I d say there is no fire without smoke. from my little experience of life I am in my 20s. Some men use their wives and add no value and once the woman open eyes they want to separate because they believe their life would be better here in the UK some women prefer to be single mothers they claim it is beneficial financially. However I do feel marriage should work unless there are abuse e.g. physical abuse. I will say knife/gun crime nowadays is on the increase and it is disturbing absent fathers, lack of role models.
he is telling the truth i know that seriouly
I also don't buy the idea that blacks are targeted or they need special support system. Same law for everybody. If you commit a crime and the punishment doesn't seem to fit the gravity of the crime, Denzel Washington said, don't help the system by committing crimes. Just stop the crime. If they say smoking weed is a crime, it might seem harmless to anyone but it means don't smoke weed. No one dies from not committing petty crimes.
You don’t buy the idea that blacks are targeted? So blacks aren’t oppressed as a group of people .... really Bro? 🤔
Everybody is oppressed. There's nothing happening or that has happened to the black man that isn't or hasn't happened to people of other races in the same geosphere. Let's just say, I don't have any empirical evidence that we're treated differently from others because of our skin color. And if it is the case that it's not about the treatment in and of itself but about the frequency, then that begs the question, Why? It might have to do with how we are perceived which might then have to do with what we display. I don't know if you get my drift.
@@Poleeze1 Wow!!!! For real?
@@bonnechance6988 Yep. Show me one thing that has happened to any black person on a systemic level and tell me it hasn't happened to another race and I'll find you and example of similar things happening to others.
@@Poleeze1 It is about the degree of oppression relative to race. The axe of injustice falls more heavily on black people. Truth be told!
As much as I agree, if men are interested in keeping the family together they should learn to tolerate shit too😂 but men can't; it just somehow happens they are the only one with egoistical DNAs 🤔(sarcasm). Just another critical angle to look at it. If your wife says she doesn't like the way you talk to her, for the kids future, men should learn to talk nicely and respectfully. Men also have a responsibility to keep the home front and no woman will want to leave a man who treats her right. It just so happens that men that have fallen victim and families that fell victim, the men met the wrong women and didn't take the time to study them to know how best to lead and rule in their own home. Let's be real the young women of today, are the children of yesterday who watched how their fathers treated their mothers, whether he was around or not, it's part of it and so many had resolution's. The sons watched their mothers patience but didn't see their mother's pain becos they were taught not to be sensitive, but to be strong but the daughters saw... And today here is the result... The sons expect same from their wives, but the wives have resorted not to be like that ... We end up with angry women and distressed men who don't know how to be husbands or even fathers especially in this world today
There are exceptions, the ones who unlearned and learned... They do it differently not like of old but loving differently and uniquely.
The African family need to be balanced, men and women need to love, respect each other. Recognise differences , understand each other and adapt. This is not the job of one person but two, don't bring your father's vision into marriage, don't bring your mother's decision or burden into your home. Create yours until we get here, where love reigns in the heart of men, not ego, not sex, not pride, not material gains, not anger the problem may continue... God's peace
Westernized materialism is the culprit.
But the psychological mechine has women in its grasp, almost in the direct proportion of there earning power compared to men......... this is probably not a mistake.
😗🤔🤨😑😶😏😲😱😳🧐🤓
I have no problem with my wife earning more than me and have no issues with her ambitions and she should have no issues with my ambitions. When it comes to domestic chores, there are things I do and things I just don't do. There are things I wouldn't do but I would do if I have no choice. Example, if my wife goes to work early and I go abit later, it falls on me to get the kids ready for school then, like bathing bfst etc. If we both work early, I don't mind having to do extra gigs to get money so we can both pay someone like a nanny to do it. But when it comes to things like cooking or laundry etc, I'm not even interested sef and if she can't do it, she should hire somebody and if she can't afford it, we're not meant for each other. E no hard. The only reason I would do what I do for the kids is because they're my kids, I love them and I'm responsible for them even if mummy doesn't want to be, but everything else, Leave am as e be hahahahahahaha
🔑Proverbs 14:1 - A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. 🔑
Boi..you re fucqen making SEBSE..and I barely listen to anyone especially those who are unknowingly arrogant...I’ve been on your channel for over five hours I am all freaking 👂🏾👂🏾
How do you spot/find good partner
Nkemakolam Nnanna it’s subjective... go with the reasonable / realistic list of qualities you want in a partner and don’t forget to also bring the so called qualities to the table. Misogyny, domestic abuse, bullying etc definitely shouldn’t be on your list.
Avoid an evidently manipulative, dishonest person... keep your eyes wide open from the early days.
First of all. Don’t get married -it’s 2019 marriage has very little benefits for a guy today.
But if you must, it’s very easy. A good partner (in the West) should be wealthier than you are. She should have more assets than you do. She stays back in Africa if she has nothing to her name. You’ll live longer. Thank me later.
@Chinonso I tire for men like you oh. Why don't you try some positivity like Phrankleen? The materialism that we're saying is causing issues is the crux of your advice. Abeg! Stop!
Go for the nerds, the brainy guys, the not so good looking ones, the ones the "babes" overlook because they "got no game". These "dry" boys are busy with studies or keeping their heads down working and building a stable future. They will treat you like a queen and of course can guarantee a stable financial future with their disciplined work ethic. Are Mr Microsoft and Mr Facebook foine? Who cares? They have brain and they have power and respect. I am advising you from the bottom of my heart. And pray for God's wisdom.
@@shadele17 i hear you but I'm a dude
Listen to Tommy Sotomayor
He is trying to exterminate blackness
The answer is yes to the title of this video......Westernization of women will be the down fall of all families eventually...