What it Feels Like When You Heal and Change Your Self-Defeating Behaviors
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 12 июл 2021
- 🔴 TAKE $70 OFF My HEALING CHILDHOOD PTSD Course. Sale Ends Aug 1: bit.ly/3LKEiNN
🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: bit.ly/4dRI8Sj
Come See Me In Person! Workshops in US, UK: bit.ly/49rzM0Z
Do You Have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: bit.ly/3GhE65z
FREE COURSE: *The Daily Practice*: bit.ly/3X1BrE0
Website: bit.ly/3CxgkRY
***
Almost everyone with CPTSD has self-defeating behaviors. The good news is, they don't have to ruin your life. You CAN change. In this video I talk about common self-defeating behaviors that make the original trauma even worse -- AND the signs you'll notice when your healing has begun. There is hope for healing when you can learn to notice your symptoms, calm the dysregulation of CPTSD, and begin changing the patterns that once held you down -- around relationships, communication, money, and more.
***
🟢 Letters: Want to submit a question for me to answer in a video?
Keep it short, not too explicit, relevant for this audience.
bit.ly/3VVxqjm
🟢 Become a Member!
Access ALL my courses, webinars, group coaching & online community
bit.ly/3Zfx9dN
🟢 Take My Online course: Healing Childhood PTSD
bit.ly/3k6gQQH
🟢 How I Recently Lost 27 Pounds: ble.life/V9fe9O
🟢 Change Trauma-Driven Dating Patterns
Online course: Dating & Relationships for People with CPTSD
bit.ly/3IBbrv7
🟢 Learn to Heal Dysregulation
Online course: Dysregulation Bootcamp
bit.ly/3ZpjGAh
🟢 Heal Isolation and Build Better Relationships
Online course: Connection Bootcamp
bit.ly/3iuUEPz
🟢 Coaching Programs & LIVE Calls with Anna
🔹 NEW Coaching Program for DATING: Apply Now: bit.ly/3Qjdozs
🔹 8-Week Coaching Intensive for Healing CPTSD Symptoms: bit.ly/3wjVVjg
🔹 Join LIVE Webinars with My Team and Me: bit.ly/3ifhJ8U
🟢 PARTNERS/RECOMMENDED PRODUCTS
(I receive commissions on referrals & recommend services I know and trust)
🔹 Is Carb Sensitivity Sabotaging Your Energy and Weight? Take the Quiz:
ble.life/V9fe9O
🔹 NEED ONLINE THERAPY? BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist:
betterhelp.com/CCF
🔹 Try MUSE Headband to Calm Your Mind: choosemuse.com/ccf
this felt so healing just to watch and take in with an open heart
So glad you caught it!
-Cara@TeamFairy
She is just SO good!
She is a genious.
I returned with my journal when I was studying.
Healing washes over me more often the trauma bonds are less to gone(?) Works in progress. 🔧💛🔧🧠🎼🎨👩🎨😌💯 Reading and listening here waters me
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy e
1. No longer see things in black and white.
2. Natural desire to take care of your body
3. Way you eat
4. Lose compulsive desire to binge watching tv, screen addiction
5. Not tempted to fudge the truth
6. Work life balance is better
7. Loose interest in assigning blame in yourself
or others. Less irritable
8. Avoiding intimacy with toxic people
9. Start prefer reality than fantasy
10. Material well being start to come together
Thank you for creating the list of the healing signs! It's really helpful to read these and be proud of how far we've actually come in our healing journey 💜💖
Thankyou 🙂🙏🏻
Thank you
❤️💛
50% there
I can't believe I am saying this, but actually have 10/10 of these! Years of intentional pursuit has lead me to this point where I can claim this. 🙏🙏🙏🙌🦋🦋🦋 I promise this is real. I promise healing is possible.
Thank you for the encouraging comment!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Congratz!
Yes, I am in the same boat! I feel like I still have so much work to do and to build healthy patterns to prevent releapsing but still, it feels so good to be on the right track.
So happy for you,thank you for the encouragment!🙂
I am so happy for you. When I noticed you using the word “intentional” it definitely caught my eye because it has been my practice for some time now to be intentional and reflective and life has much more meaning!
So happy for you. This gives me hope.
anybody gone through CPTSD, always remember, it was never your fault. It's the people who acted insufficiently to your childhood needs. Let go of guilt and shame and stop thinking there was something lacking in you or you deserved less. You deserve all the love, and respect.
Thank you for the community support!
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you for your help 🌻
And maybe it's no one's fault since our parents were imprinted the same way we were.....By healing, we're healing our Family patterns, 12 generations back! :)
I hope you all feel loved & seen through your healing 🤍
thx Jordan ❤️
@Jordan_Beckwith appreciate the positive message 💜
-Cara@TeamFairy
I literally started writing and meditation yesterday. I have been in a funk for over a week and was crying for no reason. I feel much better today and was able to get most of my laundry done. I’m 56 years old, I’m ready for change. I have achieved on other levels healing and progress but your information has touched a part of myself I didn’t realize was still very broken. I have a good life, it’s time I felt like I deserve it. Thank you
💕
I am also 56 and started writing and meditation. We can do this 💕
@@Amandahugginkizz you got this Kayla
@@riittakorpipaa4714 I’m 55. We WILL do this 💪🏼💞❤️
Kayla Austin, you too can make progress.
Choose a single area just for you, and work in that area as you’re able.
One tiny step at a time, one day at a time.
You’re not alone.
I am fifty-four.
Another sign is that I now have a sense of humor about myself. I used to be mortified if I was called out on a mistake. I’d get that feeling in the pit of my stomach and brace myself for the humiliation to follow. It took me a long time to understand that not everyone reacts the way my family did. I have real friends now who accept my imperfections. I don’t judge them either.
You saved my life. I thought I was just broken just as some people are just born blonde or with brown eyes. I had taught myself to lose hope and lower my expectations to not feel this way in the lines of “ a tree born crooked will never grow straight”. I was just waiting around to die and never in a million years would think of actually being able to live. Thank you for being there for us.
I relate to this so much!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I was born blonde and I have brown eyes. You're beautiful.
❤
This was amazing, especially the accountability aspect. I have listened to many speakers describe the psychological factors that explain our mannerisms when it comes to CPTSD , but I heard a lady discuss the biological component. When you are abused as a child, while you are witnessing, or a victim of an episode, your body releases cortisol and adrenaline in response to stress. When it is over, your body self soothes by releasing serotonin, and dopamine. It becomes a viscous cycle. Normal relationship seem boring because your brain is now dependent on those chemical releases. Unconsciously we seek out those relationships that gives us the same pattern. When he/she ghosts you, the cortisol is released, when they finally call , or go out with you; the adrenaline rush, then the serotonin release. I know I was there. I would be on vacation with my ex wondering how long before he would go missing when we got back. I am taking the time to heal. The way to get over an old love is NOT to get a new one. It is to heal yourself, and rewire your brain to see what is normal and what isn’t. Be upfront. Tell the new person that you are healing, that you didn’t always love yourself, and that you are trying to learn how. If they run away, let them go. That person is not willing to be a part of your process. Sometimes part of the journey is meant to be taken alone.
Great insight, thank you!
-Cara@TeamFairy
@Kelley Cornwell
Thanks for your comment. Could you do me the favor and tell me the woman you were talking about?
All the best to you.
Seriously. Your comment was an awakening for me. Ty😭❤️
Thank you so much for this insightful and helpful advice.God bless you🙏💕
Wow!thank you
I never thought I would ever heal as much as I have. I bottled up everything even denied that my emotionally abusive childhood at the hands of my narcissistic, bullying father was the actual problem. It was a tremendous relief to discover I had CPTSD. I am living a life now rather than just existing and feeling angry and unhappy everyday. Thank you for your wonderful healing work.
Thank you so much for the support!
-Cara@TeamFairy
IM HEALING!!!!!! AMEN!!! Thank you God Almighty for being strong in me when I'm weak. Woof the chains of bondage have been breaking daily, amen.
Amén!
@Faxmachina, how long did it take?
Amen
Break every chain. 💕
We heal and are no longer attracted to drama and unhealthy relationships..healthy people become interesting-not boring, depending how you chose. Finding purpose (Not fixing others as a purpose helps). Who is the victim - the prisoner or the guard? The controller has to worry that maybe others will do the same to them..So who is really free? When someone harms others they just solidify the idea/belief (and fuel their own paranoia) that this is the way life works-and someone can do it to you! I feel peace after ditching my abusers..Thanks CCF!
Hey TY for sharing this! Any thoughts on lessening the "impostor" feelings after transferring from unhealthy to healthy people...? How the CHOICE is ours is liberating 🙏👍✌️
@@ppdayz888 On ‘imposter’ feelings, do you mean insecurity around others? Others have their own insecurities too. I think CCF touches upon this in so many ways. I recently viewed her Playing Small vid which was great, check it out. Check out the powerful comment from Nycole there too (just a couple of comments down as of recently). Also, I meant to say healthier people! I don’t think there’s anyone alive without issues to work out because we’re all on earth to learn and grow in some way or another. And yeah, there are over 7 billion people on the planet and who can be friends with everyone? Observing, listening, taking it slow, discerning, and choosing who to be around is important (an ongoing learning experience for me), and accepting not everyone will chose in kind..
Recently I realised that whenever I hear of some hot-cold relationship dynamics my first thought is 'God, that's so boring' Surely much easier to get drawn into it when it's happening to you, but at least the concept seems like a definition of dullness to me now.
This resonates with me. I'm spending less time reliving the past. That feels good.
Wonderful!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I got my diagnosis at 15 for PTSD, after having been diagnosed with depression and anxiety around 12. Im almost 22 now. I worked hard on myself. I did drugs when i needed to, and stopped when i needed to. I journaled, meditated, ate well, i fought hard to be a good person so that i coupd have a good relationship and a family. Nothing prepared me for how triggering a relationship and bearing a child would be. The guilt and shame over not being completely healed has been crippling. Ill hold my daughter and imagine all the ways i could kill myself. Videos like this, people like you, remind me how far ive come. Youve given me so many tools in the last coupke weeks of watching your videos. I cant thank you enough. I want so badly to not fail my family. I want my daughter to grow up and want to be like me, not run away from me. I dont want to give her trauma headphones. I want to give her unconditional love and stability.
WOW please consider our membership - there is daily group support available and connection sounds vital right now. courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/
-Cara@TeamFairy
I’ve talked with my therapist about how I feel more aware these days compared to when I was younger and always living in fantasy. I didn’t really know what I was going through as a kid, but it helps to know that I was just struggling. Hearing these things makes me feel better about where I am in life now, because I always think I’ve been behind everyone. In truth, I wasn’t behind, I just had different struggles than other people did.
I certainly failed to give myself credit for how far I have come from my complex trauma. Thank you for itemizing these huge steps. It’s clear my healing will be a lifetime of effort, but I have crossed the bridge of self sabotage. I have come such a long way, and am moving in to positive life experiences. Your education has been priceless. Thank you!
#9 is resonating with me right now. Over the past year, I've started to realize the ways in which magical thinking has caused me to make some poor decisions over my adult life. I'm slowly learning to stay grounded in reality and catch those thoughts when they occur.
What's interesting with me is that a lot of my money problems are dissociation related. Spending money on movies, Comfort food, nicotine pouches, all types of things that aren't necessary I bet are what keep a lot of people financially stuck.
Once you're healed, you can eat the cheaper stuff, just drink water, not have to drive the fanciest car, and all of a sudden your bank account is growing because you have inner peace.
I'm HEALING !!!!!!!!! NOT 100% on all points, but it is work in progress, of which I'm very very proud!!💗💗💗💗💗
Yay!
Anyone else bin losing friends as a result of healing ?
It happens :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy ok good to know
Greetings from Indonesia. I experienced abuse from childhood. It used to be physical, verbal, mental emotional, and growing up during teen age, the physical abuse no longer happen, but the verbal n mental abuse continues. I began realizing after I went thru mastectomy for breast cancer. This Ramadhan, there's aha moment when I begin to notice how to be mindfull. I listen about how to set boundaries, what I can n can't control. I realized having cptsd makes me want to control, this is like the root. I want to control so I can manage my safe zone. So, everytime I feel tense, now I can ask myself, why are you acting/feeling like this. Urge to control. Then I can regulate my thoughts, even if my nervous system is still chaotic, but I learn self compassion too. Baby steps, patience. My diet is still messy, but I'm working on it. Alhamdulillaah and thank you Anna
These signs show I am healing. Maybe 80% on the way to there. I love myself and my life more now. 💛
80% is awesome!!!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Without a roadmap...the kind you offer...change is forever seen as impossible - not attainable because of some unseen and controlling force in our lives: that of trauma as US. My cPTSD kept me in jobs that I hated. I was the 'healed' version in them as far as my approach to do my best, to enjoy the work, etc.. Instead of quitting a job where I was marginalized, poorly treated, where the overall dynamic and the company was toxic towards its workers...I stayed and tried to fix things. What I found impossible to see was that I did not have to fear (cPTSD) change itself! So I would have a breakdown, get dysregulated, and/or fired. My latest job is one week behind me. What progress I have made through my years is starting to have a structure to it; not just be random small insights. This channel is that structure; and my mind and body are tremendously grateful.
How beautiful, I'm glad you are getting what you need from the channel :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy - Thanks!
Things have really been changing the last few weeks. I'm tired of being sick and a friend showed me your videos. I feel like I can get better. Therapy is leaving me feeling horrible and angry/depressed/sad. This is a sign..your videos are a sign that it's time to dig in and start taking care of ME! Thank you!
Very glad you're here!
Self care is not selfish - it’s essential. Once I was forced to start putting myself first, everything started to change. Find a support team for your good health journey and ask for help when you need it. It’s okay. It’s not a sign of weakness, it’s empowering. Find what works for you. I had to go on a special diet for a digestive disorder, so I had to reduce stress. I have Epsom salts baths in the morning with calming music in the background, developed a daily exercise and yoga routine, and take my dog for walks down my peaceful country road. Which reminds me it’s stopped raining here… Your emotions are real and you do have to face what is underneath. It will be painful, but then you can let the memories go. Stop living in the past and worrying about the future. You can be happy now. Another thing that will help is an adrenal supplement, especially with ashwagandha. It takes a couple weeks to take effect, but then it is like a switch. You mind stops circling and you have the power to take control. It also helps you sleep by relaxing the nervous system. I believe in you - love and hugs!
Just throwing it out here. I had go
through 2 therapists before I found the one who really understood my situation and I didn't cry a lot through the sessions. Hang in there.
You deserve great recognition for outlining what a healed state of mind IS! How would a person KNOW what to look for when they're getting better.
This is so valuable!
Thank you for your kind words! -Calista@TeamFairy
this was super validating, i can't afford to see a professional so i've been taking advantage of books and online resources, it sounds like i'm on the right road to recovery, though i figured as much as i don't think there's been a point in my life where i've taken better care of myself, and it's true! i'm not cramped up in front of the computer all day anymore, and all the people around me absolutely watch me glow now with how happy i am. life still isn't perfect, but it's certainly getting way better and much more functional!
That's great, thank you for sharing!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I didn’t think I was healing and was just saying that I had so far to go and was thinking I’d never change, but as I was listening I have 7 of these. Praise God for healing and trusting the process. Thank you for your videos. God is good.
Thanks for watching!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I'm beyond proud of myself for making progress on a book I've been blessed to write! I have my days but it's getting better each day.
that's great!
-Cara@TeamFairy
'people rarely apologize'. So true. At least in my experience, where I 'end up' always apologizing and feeling 'crappy' about it. These videos have been and are so helpful. Stepping back from those people who do not want to accept their part in whatever happened. Or at least discuss what happened so we can move past the 'trauma' part and get to some mutual understanding. I also love what you said about being 'curious'....For me, that's huge cuz it helps me be less defensive and more open!
Thank you for sharing!
-Cara@TeamFairy
This was very timely for me. I've begun moving toward the future I envision, and with each step, my body gets a bit freaked out. Each time, as I look more closely, I can see the childhood roots, but I can especially see how I have re-traumatized myself, to the point that it feels like the real remaining trauma is what I've done to myself, not what happened to me as a kid. Good points, and I'm so thankful that I am healing and changing.
Thanks so much for sharing a bit about your journey here!
-Cara@TeamFairy
how interesting. i have a doubt. it is the same with me but can an adult re-traumatise or is it the childhood trauma that is still there?
@@doloreslujansalvador2644 What I'm referring to here are patterns I've repeated, really, that have been behind what amounts to being adult trauma. Basically, I did stupid stuff that resulted in adult trauma, as a result of the childhood trauma.
I relate so much to not getting invested in other people's issues. I've learnt a lot about stepping back when I am initially triggered to "save" someone. It never ended how I hoped and always ended in me feeling emotionally exhausted
I’m retiring from “saving” people too. I’ve exhausted myself too many times and had undesired outcomes. I feel the pull sometimes but I’m doing a good job of not taking the bait.
I have made so much progress in the last couple of years and now I find myself rethinking my career path (social work). It's get harder every day to immerse myself in drama/trauma and I'm looking at leaving the field in order to let go of the feeling of being covered in what I call emotional vomit at the end of my work week. I'm ready for peace
I'm rooting for you!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I found you by accident, of course people say there are no accidents, and I'm so glad I did. Thank you for this help and support.
Glad you found the channel, we also appreciate your support :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
It feels comforting to hear you say, "It took me years to lose that." I'm three years into CoDA recovery and I still get into this mindset of "I should..." It's confirming to know that some things do take years to let go of.
Yes.
Wow, looks like I’m healing. Lots of room for improvement but it seems like I’m going in the right direction! 😃
Great!!!!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I just want to assure everyone that EVERYONE can heal themselves. I used to think it was 'except me' because I was especially flawed or f**d up, but I pushed through that. Part of my trauma made me see myself as fundamentally flawed but everyone on this planet is EQUALLY loved and special. You just have to realise it. It was always them who is flawed, not you.
We are both flawed. Let’s not always blame other people nor our selves for problems but take shared responsibility.
Wow I have had such a whirl wind week - during a crash paralysis phase I found your videos and am working my way through them. I’ve been on a healing journey but haven’t been able to defeat some thing’s - especially disregulation which I now have a name and reason for. I thought I was crazy and wondered how normal people coped. I’ve been grieving over the life I could have, the abundance I could call in and the mother I could be if I could be at full power every day and not be side tracked by my emotions and triggering things and my own self sabotaging behaviors….(I did purchase a habit tracker excel sheet and this has helped so much - that I can open it everyday and review and check off simple goals that move me closer to the person I want to be! To see them in front of me instead of surrendering to my head is very helpful)
Anyway, Your videos have fitted all the pieces together and I feel so much less of a burden and I can see exactly why and how I have cpts-
I’m truly amazed and can’t believe I am lucky enough to have found these videos - you are truly a light worker in the best way possible. Thankyou!!!
I am also so happy to say that I see all the signs of healing and I am just so greatful that you can put this all in to words - I feel so incredibly validated and less alone. Tears!
I have a way to go on the eating piece.... But my model building hobby has helped me cut down on screen time and I have a lot of pride in the model kits I build.....
Awesome!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Omg I hope Anna’s children know how lucky they are to have her ❤️
I'll tell them you said so (and they'll roll their eyes a little bit, lol). They're wonderful. They're coming on tour with me this year to help do live workshops!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy that is awesome!
Spoken like a person who has experienced childhood trauma and moved beyond it. Using this marvelous living experience as a doorway to our Self. Seeing that life is….A Course in Miracles.
Hearing this felt so good. It's comforting to know I'm making progress. ❤
I'm so glad! Sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Good to hear such hope filled comments.
There's a lot of hope on this channel 💜
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy 💗Hope💗
I really never thought I could be in this healing space. You so eloquently described the positives that happen with introspection and hard work. Thank you for this post!
Appreciate that and you being part of the space :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Interesting. I'm trending in the right direction but sometimes I step back into the destructive cycle when I feel depressed. It's an inconsistent battle.
Sounds about right :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Good points - all when the spell is broken. Amen
I needed some confirmation I was on the way up, I started a course to learn to tutor Adult Literacy, have finally built some good barriers, things still get to me a lot but moving forward to take action to make things better feels better than any drug ever really did, I have even learnt patience! My recovery started when i realised i needed to turn the shit off in my head, that I was also addicted to my rumination, I began to investigate my biases and realise I don’t know what I don’t know. Thanks for helping me realise I am on a path that is worth travelling.
Wow! So encouraging AND inspiring. I’m more aware of my progress (thank you) and I’m even more assured and optimistic about my future. I ❤️ your channel so much!
You got this!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Exactly!!!!!! That s what I found out this week. I stayed too long with an abusive partner and I was the one killing me softly with 50 extra pounds of chocolate, pasta,etc. The usual junk food we all turn to like other people turn to alcohol. English is not my first language....in case i do mistakes. And I really enjoying listening to this videos and sharing my life experiences. Thank you. Really being very helpful the approach you have on this subjects. 🍀💛
Thanks so much for sharing with us
-Cara@TeamFairy
Wow. I wasn't searching for your channel-it just showed up in my feed and I was intrigued by the title. And it's exactly what I needed. Sadly, the person most responsible for the trauma had to die before I could even begin to sort out the path to recovery, but looking back I'm 7 years into it and still have much work to do. Putting a name to the disconnect I've had all my life and listening to some of your videos has been so inspiring. I am a Christian, and faith in Christ has let me forgive and move on, but it is so refreshing to hear the ways to "patch the walls" of this house. Thank you for your dedication to helping people navigate trauma. Like so many before have said, it wasn't the original trauma but what I was doing later as a "response lifestyle" that sabotaged my life. Many thanks.🥰
This woman is absolutely brilliant
I got majority of those listed. I'm still working on healing but I have been doing way better since I cut my narc family off. I listen to my feelings instead of ignoring them and bursting out. I'm listening to more psychology and understanding things from an intellectual perspective. It helps makes sense of things and realize there are words to explain what I went through and ways to heal. I asked myself often what do I want, I even picked up a real hobby for the first time in over a decade. Because it's ok to try new things and if it doesn't turn out it doesn't mean I'm a failure. I speak my truth often and I surround myself with loving people. I'm financially better off as well and even budget now. I even got promoted a year ago after years of being too afraid to apply. I have a better work life balance and stop obsessing about work. So many things got better.
This shows that I'm on the road to healing❤
So useful again, thank you! I watched this in order to identify, whether I had been further along in my healing process until about 7 years ago, when adversity brought me to the brink of homelessness and I had to arrange for a hugely retraumatizing situation just to fend off living without a roof over my head.
Since that time I have undergone a horrible relapse that set my progress back by years, if not even to square one ( or worse, as new trauma then happened on a near bi-weekly basis for years for reasons of finding myself victim to institutional bullying and arbitrarily inflicted additional hardships in addition to the ones I was already facing).
So, by and large, my feeling is that yes, I had healed _some_ before this relapse, but was still falling prey to self-sabotaging behaviours the sum total of which have landed me in isolation and destitution.
I'm not one to go out without a(nother) fight, so I'm now assessing my resources and what I need to do with them to escape this truly dystopian situation I've been needing to navigate since. In less words: You're a life saver, probably very literally where it pertains to me. I wish I could support you more than with words of appreciation for your work and generosity along with my heartfelt gratitude. But FWIW, you know... there's at least this minute measure of reciprocity...😪😇 0:01
Grateful for this one. Over the past 6 months I've been doing a lot of work on myself. It helps a lot to have a reference of what being healthy looks like. I can see all of these things happening in my life now. I'm on the verge of getting a job again too. But also facing divorce and all the reorganizing of life that comes with it. Knowing where I came from, I can do this!
Glad you found it helpful. We're cheering for you. - Ashley, Team Fairy
I would add a n°11 : you forget how it exactly feels, how you used to be under that type of unhealthy environment. Once heald, the "desease" becomes foreign, you feel strangely strong at the beginning, then you get used to it like we get used to crisp shiny spring days..
Good add! yes.
I checked all 10! It took several years to get here, but the signs you shared are telltale and true for me! Finding a good therapist trained in trauma isn’t easy, but my family also rallied to support me during the process. Thank you for posting and supporting this life-changing work🥰😇💕
That's so GREAT 💜💪
-Cara@TeamFairy
CPTSD is a real hardship and it seems the desire to be free of it is something that we're quasi aware of before we actually become aware of the mechanics involved. However, overall life is spiritual and it is the spirit/soul within us that is the driving force behind correcting and mending the damage. When we succeed we feel functional and whole again. I believe that is part of our developmental purpose of life and part of the reason we come here. Love is hindered and nearly impossible if we remain burdened with CPTSD. I've made some formidable progress.... but I'm still working on some lose ends.
Progress is progress! One step at a time.
-Cara@TeamFairy
7/10. Getting there. The financial hardship aspect is hardest for me at the moment. It's hard meat to chew through
I’m feeling inspired to start on my healing journey after this video. I have been in a not so great place. Distracting with food and screen time. I have really let myself go in a lot of ways over the last few years and the lockdown seemed to bring so many issues to the surface. I miss the person I used to be when I was in a healthier place. Thanks CCF ❤️
I am healing. Thank God.
Every video I watch of yours, I keep saying to myself-she is so money and she doesn't even know it...but she kinda does. Seriously though, keep doing what you're doing-helping me and others immensely!
I am healing. I do need to rid of binge watching screen addiction and I advocate myself for work life balance
I love you CC Fairy!! 😍 These videos are so wonderful, and I just think your work is inspiring and admirable, and am just so impressed by your journey and your willingness to show up for all of us. Thanks for making the world a better place. Sending you giant virtual hugs of appreciation 😁👏
You're the best!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Oh my goodness, I had a job interview yesterday- told the woman "By the way I have zero tolerance for narcissism in the workplace- I have boundaries". She got a funny look on her face and I didn't get the job. It seems like there is always one and I don't feel strong enough to cope, or maybe just that I don't want it near me.
Nice. I have fantasies about saying something similar in job interviews after having ones in the past where they were rude or condescending. “I see you worked at X. That seems like a bit of a career comedown…” Yeah, well, some of us have to take jobs to pay the bills is what I wish I’d said. I’ve wanted to say, I don’t put up with bullying, how do you combat that in the workplace? One job interviewer asked me how I would deal with a difficult co-worker (red flag right there I guess). Now, “I suppose a punch in the nose is considered inappropriate?”
That may have sounded like you were perceiving her as a narcissist. I have very little tolerance for narcissism myself, but I think it would come under the category of oversharing to say it in a job interview.
I’m so proud because I could check all the boxes you spoke about, I’ve been working on myself since I was old enough to read because I felt like something was wrong with me (turns out I had narcissistic parents and realized this when I was older). I never thought I would get here but you can do it and it’s so worth it to just start!! Sending love to everyone beginning and traveling their journey of healing 🙂
i don't have all 10 of these down, but i'm a lot closer than i am than a year ago, let alone 3 or 5 or 10 years ago. it's good to look back and see the progress even though i have pretty far to go!
Right on point for what I needed to hear today. I'll be watching this again and again. Great encouragement & info. Thank you, Anna!
Thanks for watching
-Cara@TeamFairy
Your videos are a God send. You make me feel normal. I have been just about everything you have talked about. Self defeat has been my mantra...gee wizzzz. I have been working on it for yrs without tools. I am excited to be me!
A helpful measure to see how much I've achieved since first finding your YT channel. My favorite has been realizing how resilient I can be... challenges (even catastrophes) don't mean the end of the world, but just a moment (sometimes short, sometimes long) to take a deep breath and figure it out. Ahhh-mazing! Thank you.
You're amazing, thanks for sharing your progress!
-Cara@TeamFairy
It's a great video to just sit and have a honest look at where you road led you so far. I know I made tremendous progress in my life and my relationship with CPTSD these last few years (putting a name on it, first and foremost), but it's still good to acknowledge the areas in which I'm not quite there yet. But the fact that I can look at some of these and relate to that change is already such a great sign, and I think it's good to focus on that while trying not to be merely content and remain at this halfway point. Thank you so much for your content, I rarely felt as seen, understood and challenged before when it comes to mental health, and you helped me in so many ways.
🙏 Thank you. This is just what i needed to hear today. I am making progress on all of these - not 'there' yet but it's so helpful to see just how much progress i *have* made in my healing, instead of fixating on how much is still to be done (which is one of my sabotage patterns in itself). What a great road map this is to check in with, thank you again! 😊
Thank you so much for this vid, it was incredibly affirming, and turns out I'm further down the healing path than I thought! As you listed things I could think back to when my behavior changed, or certain interests fell away during my healing journey. I'm not quite there yet but definitely getting there!
This is a great list, thanks Anna! Noticing the extent of my addictions and working to swap them with healthy habits was a good starting place for me.
Wonderful, keep going!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Getting there steadily that part about your thinking being more nuanced and you're not quick to pick side between good and bad is my first sign of feeling resolved
Yes! And such an important area of healing too. Happy for you!
So many therapists say that changing things is a waste of time. It’s frustrating when you’re trying to climb out of a hole.
Glad you're here being a seeker :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thankyou!!
I’ve been accused of ‘splitting’ because of imagining I’d be happier living somewhere near water. Since then I’ve discovered how deeply healing being in water is for me and my nervous system and as a way of connecting to nature in an embodied way. I was constantly being asked to doubt my healthy instincts. I hope anyone else reading this is blessed with trusting their own instincts and desires over and above anyone in ‘authority’.
You can only change yourself, not other people. And you are not a waste of time.
This is so encouraging. I realise how far I've come. Thank you x
That's great :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Your wisdom and knowledge continue to amaze me! Thanks for helping so many heal from their crappy childhood! ❤️
You are a healer. Thank you for being so honest and upfront about your own struggles, it's truly empowering. I have seen so many of your videos, and I realise I used to exhibit a lot of CPTSD patterns. I'm glad I have been on my healing journey, and I hope more people find out about you and heal through your videos as well. Thank you 🙏
Thank u so much for this information in such an easy understandable way! It gives me knowledge and tools and I finally feel hopeful in healing! Sending love and light and gratitude to all
22, watching your videos for about a year now. Gettin better. Thank you ☺️
You said we can’t see “all” the signs but I am happy to say I can see almost all but the last which is yet to fully “materialize” but I am confident it will! It’s taken 57 years to get here! Thank you for an excellent video. Nice to focus on the positive side of this sad situation, so many of us has experienced. Love out to all who are looking for all these signs in ourselves. from Ottawa, Canada 🇨🇦
I am coming around. Thank you for all of your content.
YES NUMBER 8 ! I don’t take the shit , I move along quicker . I enjoy MY peace !
Thank you so much! This was so helpful. Especially that the focus was on positive signs of healing. I can see progress I've already made and look forward to more!
That's great!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I love your teaching style! It is so soothing, comforting and eye-opening❤
This is great. Been following you for a quite a while. Very good to hear you describing what "healing" looks like (although I know you've touched on this before). I definitely show a lot of these signs that you've listed. I give myself a 6/10 overall in this regard. Without this explanation I would have ranked myself much lower. Although the remaining 4/10 looks pretty challenging, but knowing that I am making good progress keeps me moving forward and feeling more confident about the whole process of healing. Thank you!
Thank you so much for this video. I see how much I'm improved since I started looking towards the reason behind my depression. I see world much better place to live now. I see that having little money can be enough to live happy life when you're healthy, mentally healthy and can treat yourself you've never been treated before.
That may sound incredible but I am watching your video from Almaty a city in Kazakhstan and no one around knows what I'm going through.
Having such connection of support with help of this video and other alikes helps to proceed further with believe that everything gonna be fine.
Thank you sincerely Anna for putting these videos online. These videos have helped tremendously.
That's so great 💜
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you for laying it all out like this! I've been working on healing for the past 6 years, and part of my healing has been to recognize when I'm making progress. To give credit where credit is due. Going through your checklist, the thought that came to mind was, "holy [bleep]! I've done more than I thought." That's... kind of... amazing. Especially considering I did the majority of the work by myself, using techniques I developed on my own.
And even better? Now I know which areas I need to work on the most! Job and love. I seem to struggle with believing I deserve better... or that there *is* better.
Especially with love. Are there really and good single men left in a world of Swipe Culture, Porn Culture, Kink Culture, Hookup Culture, and Anti-Monogamy/Pro-Cheater Culture? Are there really any men out there who love strong, independent, unconventional, quirky women... or does every man claim to want that in theory, but not in practice? Please, someone tell me there is a better way to find love than online dating. If I meet another polyamorous male "feminist" who champions prostitution and pornography as "empowering" to women and expects sex by the first date, I might just rip out the part of my brain responsible for love and swap it for one that's good at car repair. Or... trade it in for bacon?
I love how you talk with your hands and you have such a warm smile, thank you so much for sharing this info
Omgosh. Loved this. I am so proud of myself. Thank you. Been doing the work and realize and am aware I am doing all of these things now . You are soooo amazing.
You got this!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Try intermittent fasting. When you take control of your physical body it takes you to a higher plane of spiritual awareness and healing.
I like IF too :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Physical disabilities exist though,chronic illness etc. Not only is it not always possible to control the body ,it can be a source of trauma when you can’t. Paraplegic with lupus here I think this stance could be hurtful and dangerous for some.
I really appreciate the hopefulness here. Great stuff. Looking back to see the pain is important to process it but looking forward to the possibilities of the future is critical to letting the pain go
You got this!
-Cara@TeamFairy
This sounds wonderful. I am really broken. Half of my family and friends think I am too toxic to be in their lives.
Important points, thank you.
I feel very fortunate.
Thank YOU :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Yeah! I’m healed base on your video! 🎉🎉 It was not easy but I did that with few psychotherapy sessions and rest on my own by reading books, writing down my old relationships with certain people and practicing healing my inner child. 😊 Thank you for bring insights on C-PTSD healed signs.
Wow… this is amazing. Thank you. This makes me realize that a lot of newfound hope has been due to healing from my trauma… and that a lot of my past pain was from holding onto it. I only recently started therapy again too, I want to be even better. I am excited to try EMDR. It gets better from here ❤
flipin brilliant! Thank you.......having worked on myself for several decades, your video gave me affirmation for the changes I did make, and some areas where I am a work in progress 😂.......what I love is how much less isolated your videos and teaching make me feel.
For a long time it felt I was 'in a desert on a horse with no name'- now there's a sense of public acknowledgement and being seen......
I like the fresh clear ideas on specific skills to learn to overcome self-defeating patterns eg emotional dysregulation, that have cost me a number of friendships......
Bless you! ❤
You have the best common sense on how to look at this serious condition.
Love your healing advice.
Thank you!❤
Thank you for your kind words, I'm sure Anna will want to read this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you for your service to humanity!! This video blessed me greatly by giving me HOPE. You are Helping Open Peoples Eyes