That is so true. If your boss likes you, you’ll stay. It’s insane!!!! They tell us totally different things in school and then going out into the world you learn it just matters that someone likes you.
I heard about a job where a man’s position was no longer needed, so the team manager said they would find him new work within the team. Well the team got a new lead, and no one noticed he wasn’t doing any work. They had just grown so accustomed to him bringing bagels on Mondays, donuts on Fridays, taking out to lunches.. Everyone liked him so much that no one questioned him. Being personable is everything!!
When I worked at the bank a guy did this he brought food for the new staff and snacks on Fridays he also laughed with customers .. he litterally did nothing all day because when management saw him laughing with a customer the never interrupted because they didn’t want to seem micro managing he got away with a lot of stuff he was also doing a lot of shit on the side
Omg as an introvert this is my worst nightmare. I’m extremely intelligent, educated, good with people BUT at the end of the day I’m done and just want to go home to recharge. I know harder to relate if you’re not an introvert. ❤
I agree with the other commenters. I am introverted but, I do tale the extra step to connect with others one-on-one. Also, if there is a work event you can leave a bit earlier than the others to head home and recharge.
I think you’ll do fine, because real intelligent people almost always know they are not anymore intelligent than the people around them. It’s just something other people think about them.
I learned this recently! I always gave my all and tried to prove I was smart but failed to get raises or promotions for 3 years. Then I moved to a new position in an emergency, realized I could easily charm my boss into liking me, and got $4/hour and raises within a year (still climbing). My boss liking me did more than proving I was smart and innovative
I've been saying that a job will promote you if you're likeable and easy to work with versus being hard working and competent but viewed as not as likeable.
I once had an ex offshore senior colleague in the IT industry who couldn't and wouldn't want to do/ produce actual tech work. But, she'll do her best to meddle in our meetings so that it looked as if she's helping/ managing something. She looks pretty and is just that. 😂 Oh and she got the job because she knows someone who knows someone who knows the offshore director
I noticed this a long time ago and my social skills are crap. People who have great personalities (social, funny) and/or attractive get promotions. I remember my head manager back at my retail job had horrible grammatical errors on my annual review paper. The assistant manager was struggling to read it and decided to just show it to me so we could help each other out. It was elementary school level bad.
From my over 30 years experience, I 100% agree with this. It is absolutely true. Plus, I've seen some really stupid people in high positions because they were someone's buddy.
YEP. Having worked payroll I can tell you this is totally the case. Hard workers get stuck and stagnant in their pay/position. It takes social connections to move up either in the company or to another one. That’s why for my son we’re putting a bigger focus on social development than educational development (still has additional tutoring and ahead of his grade, but we’re spending the extra time on affluent sports like tennis/golf and team sports like soccer).
@@hannahscholtzz7355 I think it’s sports historically played by rich people like tennis and golf. Many people are able to make connections by attending sports outings with bosses or business partners and climb the corporate ladder.
After watching last night the movie "working girl" I was just telling my husband I feel as long as you have a good attitude with your colleagues and customers, they are willing to forgive a lot of mistakes you do. They can give you additional training, coach you to do the job better, but if you have an attitude they will get rid of you at the first change they get
I’m one of them! 😂 and I’m not even mad about it. I work HARD AF but I know I’m not the brightest. I didn’t go to a prestigious school and I think I talk more street than corporate but I’m effective and I’ve been able to be promoted at least 4 times in the past 8 yrs.
I taught my kids that it’s who you know that gets you in the room, but what you know that keeps you there. So NETWORK like crazy! Make friends, remember birthdays, and pet names.
Being friendly, willing to help coworkers, and willing to learn is what got me moving up over anything. Also I think making people laugh and feel good makes a difference. When people like you, working with you or just like being around you, that goes a long way!
That's very important advice. I see so many young people socially isolating themselves and not putting any effort into keeping connections at work. It backfires on them, and they won't even know that's the reason. I've had teachers close an eye for me because I got along with them. I had a professor help me with a big problem because I spent some time after each class just discussing and chatting about the class, 2-5 minutes. I've had job opportunities and easier switch between shifts and easier increase in shifts all because I put the effort to socialize with my team. I work very hard, always, but only where I also get along with the team and boss, do I actually get rewarded for it
That’s shitty tho, some people just aren’t good at socializing. I’m not, and to be honest I don’t care for people all that much. Work ethic should be the only thing that matters
@@Las645 I'm the type of character that was struggling to tears and anxiety attacks in the last year's of high school. I was a social wreck. I managed to get out of it and I'm not better than other people. If I managed it, others can too. This is something that ideally should be taught by parents while you are still a small child, gradual socialization by parental guidance is crucial for the development of social understanding that people need to foster societal stability and peace. Communities are made up of individuals, andnin order to have a healthy community we NEED to bring up healthy and capable individuals. What our parents didn't manage to teach us, we have to teach ourselves, one step at a time. It's time to regain social responsibility and set aside our weaknesses, to stop associating and limiting ourselves with our weaknesses.
In some companies, performance assessments are based on being an all rounder. If you don't participate in company social gatherings, you get a poor appraisal. Not all gatherings cater to the minority who have diet, religious or cultural restrictions. They just have to suck it up and go with the flow.
Exactly! I work in a law firm and I don’t care how smart you are, if you don’t at least get along with the office favorites, you will not get very far.
I learned this working in corporate. The higher you climb the less your job really requires. The people making smaller amounts of money are working the hardest and doing the bulk of the work. I know a lot of unqualified managers and directors.
Emotional intelligence and good social skills aren't taught in school. It's a parent's job to instill these traits in their children by demonstrating those traits.
Socialization is a huge aspect of childhood education especially during formative younger years it's why homeschooling is so problematic and can produce such poor adjusted adults. Trauma and mental health conditions can also impact EQ.
@@QTpatootie95 I think homeschooling can work if the parents put a lot of time and effort into the socialization aspect. I just think that most don't which is so unfortunate.
Exactly 💯 This is something that has always bothered me. Work is just that WORK. I've got a life outside of that. It may not be exciting but I'd rather be at home with my husband and dog. Most people in any work setting talk bad about one another but smile when they see eachother. That's gross and why I keep to myself.
THIS! I'm so sick and tired of my job. Tired of all of the "forced socialization" at mandatory meetings and events. Tired of being expected to show up at team builders etc. I just want to work and go home. I do not want to mingle at work, nor outside of work.
@@07ikkin but your colleagues are people you’re going to spend a huge chunk of your life around. I would like to have more opportunities to interact with them outside of work so that I can reduce the amount of stress I face there.
@@zephaurith5591and many people would rather not. Can you tell me you would rather fake a small talk conversation (all you will ever be able to safely do in a workplace setting without threat of something or another) than actually connect on a life long, personal level. It sounds so fucking boring and uninteresting, and i love learning about people.
This is so sad and yet true. I know folks who are so bad at their jobs and supremely good at a** kissing. They're the ones getting good appraisals and never getting fired.
This is absolutely right. I see this everyday at my firm. Some of the attorneys with the WORST work, who make you wonder how they even passed the bar...are the ones promoted and given the most raises. Why? Because the higher ups like them and overlook their serious mistakes and are much quicker to fix them and chalk it up to "learning curve".
"skipping company happy hour, don't" damn dude. That's why I left my last job. I never went because I had two jobs and they'd always want to go after the meetings at 10pm and I had to be back at 6am for the other job. Afher missing three or four they were trying so hard to get rid of me. Cutting my hours massively, giving me the shitty tasking , micro managing me. Was just trying to last long enough to get the last bonus. Then I left two days after
If a company wants to get rid of someone because of "skipping happy hour" , it aint a company worth working for in the first place. Good that you left that shithole.
I’ve been in the VFX industry for almost 20 years and yup, I got all my jobs because I was as good as other people applying but also had friends there already. Every movie or commercial I worked on. Same thing. I always try to have as much fun as possible while working and get my team all the support I can and I think that helps get repeat business.
I can see Vivian sitting at her desk, thinking about all the extra hours she’s spent outside of work working, just to have her boss give more favor to the idiot and the asshole types.
In Germany we call this “promoted away“. Yes. We actually have a term for this phenomenon. Because a lot of industries give the idiots that can’t just be fired titles and “responsibilities“, where they can’t do as much damage 😂
@@ritasjourney If you technically do your job and do not do stuff you are not supposed to. You cant be legally fired if the job is still required. You cant just make up S and fire people when citizens have worker rights. Which is how it should be, but in turn you have anecdotal situations with a bad match. Ironically, these same rules also retain people that are "hard to control", but do their job 40% better than most others. Yes, high level of worker rights actually increase productivity because you cant just fire people you do not like.
Facts not only that it's all about who you know nepotism is running rapid right now you don't need education it's all about who your mom dad or any other relative is I see this everyday at my job
It sounds like a conspiracy but it actually makes sense. Lower level jobs are mostly about your ability to put your head down and grind out the work. People who have aptitude for the work AND social acumen end up promoted out of those positions because they're more valuable elsewhere in the organization. The brilliant person with the social skills of a rock stays at that level because that's where they shine. Sticking them in front of an audience of other teams/management/etc is NOT where they excel. Compensation is correlated with perceived impact. If you're that brilliant person that is a master of head down grinding stop it. Work on the social piece. It's holding you back.
The last phrase was the most important. You may not like it... But all business is made up of personal relationships. Meaning you have to work on those extra network relationships to get a leg up. You can easily do that be talking to people, making meetings, getting involved, stepping up etc. And usually for jobs you are happy in, there is no problem. As long as your workplace isn't toxic, going to happy hour with coworkers doesn't mean you won't like it. Balance in everything.
This is so true and still hard to accept. But let's put on the boss's shoes: would you like a smarter subordinate who threatens your position in the company, or do you want an average subordinate who has neither the power nor the will to threaten you? That's the problem with people, they forget to see a situation from both sides, that's why we lack awareness and become ignorant.
Yeah, but, I'd rather be good at what I do than be the dummy promoted to a position I don't deserve and am no good at just because I sold my self respect by kissing up and using people. I guess for me it depends on whether I can genuinely befriend the people I would need to befriend. If so, yes, make time for them because they'll always want to reward people they feel they really know personally and can trust.
Same here. Got too much self respect to kiss up and bootlick. I may never get promoted after x number of years and i'll find another job. But if i do, it damn sure will be because of my hardwork and performance.
This is so accurate. My job I just got rehired at was one I had when my mental health was TERRIBLE. Granted I’m a hard worker, I always try when I’m there, but admittedly I called in wayyy more than at my previous jobs. And there were definitely days where I took it slow or made several mistakes. But my boss gave me an excellent performance review and took me back simply because I worked on being friendly and a good listener with him.
Sad to say but so true. I worked for an organization that constantly hired directors, managers and supervisors that had no idea the process of our job.
I have a story that relates to this...well kind of. I had this coworker who’s chatty all the time. She and her sister went off to talk with some guy when she had to work. Literally sat at a table for eating customers and just chatted while the rest of us stood. One of the coworkers was annoyed and decided to take a long break to match this. The girl had the audacity to be like “you were at break for a long time.” If I did that shit I would’ve been in trouble 😩 I’m so happy I work for myself now.
This is so true. I'm not joking when I say that MOST of all of the furniture I have in my home came from coworkers. I established strong connections with so many people and over the years I had so many of them just giving me their used furniture.
That hair...GORGEOUS! Salon finish. Looks amazing! On another note... "As usual"....with the pulling of strings and connections and all that. Not surprising. It is the way of the world we live in, now
Having a solid network will open up doors a college degree never could. Trust me. I have no formal education. But building relationships with the right people put me in positions I never would've imagined, and making more money as well
There is truth to this. I own a pretty big construction company and most of the people that work for me are more talented than me. However I have integrity and can get along with anybody and am good at sales and that has been a big key to our success. I’ve also fired really smart and talented people who didn’t know how to play well with others. Being likable is a skill too.
So true, I’ve gotten away with doing much less much than some of my coworkers in previous jobs by just being personable with higher ups. Lots of perks come with that, too. I suggest if you’re not social you learn some charismatic tips/tricks if you wanna work smarter not harder.
As a swede this is accurate some of them don't pay foreigners as much even though the foreigners could've been living there for years and have education etc.
This is true. I don’t get too many promotions and my division got relocated to Texas. But my manager could only save one. She picked me to stay and I think it’s because I’m always friendly with her and talk to her like a friend.
Very true brown nosers ascend that landed quicker than those with actual job experience. Then your boss expects you to "train" them. Sorry, that's not in my job description 😂
I’ve never heard anything truer than this comment. Simply promoting someone because they are well liked is not only a disservice to them but also to those that will be expected to develop them. I also think it’s a sure way to lose talented individuals supervised by that individual.
It’s always the people who knows how to talk like they know something but they do not know anything gets promoted. Talking, presentation & people skills seems so much important than actual skills to do the job..
Being reliable gets you 80% there. The last 20% is intelligence and not being an asshole. I'm not that smart but I make bloody sure that if my boss asks me to do it, it'll get done. Write that shit down. Take notes in meetings. Don't assume you'll remember. Then get that shit done. You'll be surprised how many people mess that up. Be reliable, don't be an asshole, be somewhat intelligent, and you'll be sorted.
This is definitely true... To a certain extent. I know companies that are managed by people who don't know enough about the key knowledge/skills of their own industry. It's how once in a while we get even big corporations making the news for a spectacular f up. There are definitely also limitations to the type of industries this applies to. There are industries where you might be disliked by ALL of your colleagues and still go up the ranks because of your skills. Neither extreme is good.
I quit a job bc they kept putting the dumbest people in management, I found out that the “it” staff was in a group chat titled “the mess” long story short that place is now a crap whole. They kept losing all the good workers that smelled the stank after a few weeks of working. This was in social services and let me tell you if it’s a for profit , run for the hills.
So I have to socialize with my coworkers? Guess what I skipped today at work? 😩 But for real, this is probably the biggest motivator to try to retire early ☺️
It’s called working in teams, life not hard be a good team Mate. I don’t mean be friends with co workers but try to win the game you’re all playing together It’s so simple Be pleasant to be around, keep your word and hustle
I'm not sacrificing my time just for the sake of some chance I might impress a senior in "company happy hours". If you want a raise, just make sure you're not sucking at the job and start applying for positions in competition companies.
💯 🙌🏾. There’s also different kinds of intelligence, that are often undervalued like emotional and social. Being able to generally understand people and respond appropriately to social cues is soo important in a business setting. That’s why the smartest people in terms of IQ, who lack social awareness run the companies and hire people to do all that networking stuff for them. 😅
Soooo true, one job I used to have, had the departments on different floors and the difference in vibes on each floor was unbelievable- completely silent in engineering and like a party in sales. Everyday.
This is amazingly accurate. My dad makes a lot of money as a programmer, but that's all he can do. He's got no useful skills outside of programming, and failed several highschool classes and only got into UD because his mom worked there.
Truth. I've seen people get jobs they were NO WHERE close to being eligible for. Bombed from day one and was never fired. The people who knew what they were doing had to take up the slack. Smh
I once had an ex offshore senior colleague in IT industry who couldn't and wouldn't want to do/ produce actual tech work. But, she'll do her best to meddle in our meetings so that it looked as if she's helping/ managing something. She looks pretty and is just that. 😂 She sticked out like a sore thumb because the team was small, and everyone disliked her because of her corporate trick (explained above) We were asked to train her and teach her to do her job yet she had the audacity to only choose the easy tasks. Oh and she got the Senior position because she knows someone who has connection to the offshore IT Director. We heard this from our manager and even he didn't dare/ couldn't do anything to her (improvement plan/ something similar, etc)
Trust and relationship with your boss and managment is 1000% more important that acctual results. If you are trusted and liked you will do better regardless of your output.
Vivian you really are a rich bff☺️ This, as per usual with your videos, is so true. Although leadership is a skill not necessarily measured by intelligence markers, the point remains. Your boss will protect you if it helps them and faking confidence goes a long, long way. 😉 love your messages girl, thank you for sharing 🙌
I learned this after my 3rd job. Basically people will keep an employee that is either capable or liked. And if I had to be a betting man I’d put my odds on the liked employee. It sucks and I was that “hate water cooler talk” but it’s essential and not that big of a sacrifice. Can’t beat them join them.
Risk taking is also a factor in success. If you are less intelligent you are less likely to identify risks and will take riskier decisions. Sometimes that works out.
1. How smart you are 2. How socially appealing you are 3. Does your boss see bankable leadership potential within you? With that, number 3 will always outweigh 1 and 2.
Like the saying: it doesn’t matter WHAT you know but WHO you know
Not to be too graphic, but when I was in the Navy, there was a saying, "It's not who you know, it's who you blow."
Absolutely 💯!!
@@MsMorganGirlsi mean if that was true... I would've joined the Navy back then 😅🤣😂 but it wasn't safe back then than it is now
❤ I know no one and nothing
Its not who you know but who you blow.
Being in an office enviroment for over 20yrs, this is 100% true.
Exactly yes lol
Yes!!
👌🏼 😢
That is so true. If your boss likes you, you’ll stay. It’s insane!!!! They tell us totally different things in school and then going out into the world you learn it just matters that someone likes you.
That's because public school in the U.S. has always been designed to make good workers, not well-educated people.
I heard about a job where a man’s position was no longer needed, so the team manager said they would find him new work within the team. Well the team got a new lead, and no one noticed he wasn’t doing any work. They had just grown so accustomed to him bringing bagels on Mondays, donuts on Fridays, taking out to lunches.. Everyone liked him so much that no one questioned him. Being personable is everything!!
😂😂😂😂
The guy knew what to invest in. Bagels and donuts!
It shouldn't be like that
@@aeoligarlic4024 no, it shouldn’t be like that. But I also expect if that man wasn’t like that, they would have noticed a lot sooner.
When I worked at the bank a guy did this he brought food for the new staff and snacks on Fridays he also laughed with customers .. he litterally did nothing all day because when management saw him laughing with a customer the never interrupted because they didn’t want to seem micro managing he got away with a lot of stuff he was also doing a lot of shit on the side
It’s the Peter Principle. “People are promoted to their highest level of incompetence.”
😂
Omg as an introvert this is my worst nightmare. I’m extremely intelligent, educated, good with people BUT at the end of the day I’m done and just want to go home to recharge. I know harder to relate if you’re not an introvert. ❤
I’m also an introvert and I make standing one-on-one meetings with my manager and mentors to engage socially.
I agree with the other commenters. I am introverted but, I do tale the extra step to connect with others one-on-one. Also, if there is a work event you can leave a bit earlier than the others to head home and recharge.
It's hard, but consider it work. Coming from another introvert.
I think you’ll do fine, because real intelligent people almost always know they are not anymore intelligent than the people around them. It’s just something other people think about them.
agreed!
I learned this recently! I always gave my all and tried to prove I was smart but failed to get raises or promotions for 3 years. Then I moved to a new position in an emergency, realized I could easily charm my boss into liking me, and got $4/hour and raises within a year (still climbing). My boss liking me did more than proving I was smart and innovative
wow thats crazy lol. i might need to become a charmer lol
@@shantemartin5713 to be fair, my ability is what helps me sell why I deserve a raise but my boss liking me makes them listen to me more
I've been saying that a job will promote you if you're likeable and easy to work with versus being hard working and competent but viewed as not as likeable.
I once had an ex offshore senior colleague in the IT industry who couldn't and wouldn't want to do/ produce actual tech work. But, she'll do her best to meddle in our meetings so that it looked as if she's helping/ managing something. She looks pretty and is just that. 😂
Oh and she got the job because she knows someone who knows someone who knows the offshore director
I noticed this a long time ago and my social skills are crap. People who have great personalities (social, funny) and/or attractive get promotions. I remember my head manager back at my retail job had horrible grammatical errors on my annual review paper. The assistant manager was struggling to read it and decided to just show it to me so we could help each other out. It was elementary school level bad.
That feeling when the favourite at work leaves and you become the favourite.
Imposter sundrome 100
From my over 30 years experience, I 100% agree with this. It is absolutely true. Plus, I've seen some really stupid people in high positions because they were someone's buddy.
YEP. Having worked payroll I can tell you this is totally the case. Hard workers get stuck and stagnant in their pay/position. It takes social connections to move up either in the company or to another one. That’s why for my son we’re putting a bigger focus on social development than educational development (still has additional tutoring and ahead of his grade, but we’re spending the extra time on affluent sports like tennis/golf and team sports like soccer).
Thanks for thinking like this! I hope your son gets a good time growing up and then he'll ALSO benefit career wise.
Yeah... many schools love athletes!!
What's an affluent sport? Never heard of that term before
@@hannahscholtzz7355 I think it’s sports historically played by rich people like tennis and golf. Many people are able to make connections by attending sports outings with bosses or business partners and climb the corporate ladder.
very smart...I got my foot in so many doors though early childhood friends I made on a tennis scholarship.
After watching last night the movie "working girl" I was just telling my husband I feel as long as you have a good attitude with your colleagues and customers, they are willing to forgive a lot of mistakes you do. They can give you additional training, coach you to do the job better, but if you have an attitude they will get rid of you at the first change they get
I’m one of them! 😂 and I’m not even mad about it. I work HARD AF but I know I’m not the brightest. I didn’t go to a prestigious school and I think I talk more street than corporate but I’m effective and I’ve been able to be promoted at least 4 times in the past 8 yrs.
I'd kill for your personality lol
I always say, it’s almost criminal how far confidence & charisma can take a person.
Literally in the process of getting my real estate license because of the confidence you gave me. Thank you ma'am 😘
Go get em love. I want to get my license in a few years when I can afford to
I taught my kids that it’s who you know that gets you in the room, but what you know that keeps you there. So NETWORK like crazy! Make friends, remember birthdays, and pet names.
Being friendly, willing to help coworkers, and willing to learn is what got me moving up over anything. Also I think making people laugh and feel good makes a difference. When people like you, working with you or just like being around you, that goes a long way!
That's very important advice. I see so many young people socially isolating themselves and not putting any effort into keeping connections at work. It backfires on them, and they won't even know that's the reason. I've had teachers close an eye for me because I got along with them. I had a professor help me with a big problem because I spent some time after each class just discussing and chatting about the class, 2-5 minutes. I've had job opportunities and easier switch between shifts and easier increase in shifts all because I put the effort to socialize with my team. I work very hard, always, but only where I also get along with the team and boss, do I actually get rewarded for it
That’s shitty tho, some people just aren’t good at socializing. I’m not, and to be honest I don’t care for people all that much. Work ethic should be the only thing that matters
@@Las645 I'm the type of character that was struggling to tears and anxiety attacks in the last year's of high school. I was a social wreck. I managed to get out of it and I'm not better than other people. If I managed it, others can too.
This is something that ideally should be taught by parents while you are still a small child, gradual socialization by parental guidance is crucial for the development of social understanding that people need to foster societal stability and peace. Communities are made up of individuals, andnin order to have a healthy community we NEED to bring up healthy and capable individuals. What our parents didn't manage to teach us, we have to teach ourselves, one step at a time. It's time to regain social responsibility and set aside our weaknesses, to stop associating and limiting ourselves with our weaknesses.
@@ang5798that sounds so fucking boring honestly
In some companies, performance assessments are based on being an all rounder. If you don't participate in company social gatherings, you get a poor appraisal. Not all gatherings cater to the minority who have diet, religious or cultural restrictions. They just have to suck it up and go with the flow.
Exactly! I work in a law firm and I don’t care how smart you are, if you don’t at least get along with the office favorites, you will not get very far.
I learned this working in corporate. The higher you climb the less your job really requires. The people making smaller amounts of money are working the hardest and doing the bulk of the work. I know a lot of unqualified managers and directors.
Emotional intelligence and good social skills aren't taught in school. It's a parent's job to instill these traits in their children by demonstrating those traits.
Socialization is a huge aspect of childhood education especially during formative younger years it's why homeschooling is so problematic and can produce such poor adjusted adults. Trauma and mental health conditions can also impact EQ.
Reading books too plays a huge role!
@@QTpatootie95 I think homeschooling can work if the parents put a lot of time and effort into the socialization aspect. I just think that most don't which is so unfortunate.
No kind of intelligence can be “taught”, intelligence is innate.
Eh I’m just not a people person 🤷🏽♀️
Nooo, I just want to work.
Why can't being asocial have an upside too.
Karma. Always have good intentions. Your good deeds will be rewarded. Seen too many high paying thieves... lol. Karma waits.
Exactly 💯 This is something that has always bothered me. Work is just that WORK. I've got a life outside of that. It may not be exciting but I'd rather be at home with my husband and dog. Most people in any work setting talk bad about one another but smile when they see eachother. That's gross and why I keep to myself.
THIS! I'm so sick and tired of my job. Tired of all of the "forced socialization" at mandatory meetings and events. Tired of being expected to show up at team builders etc. I just want to work and go home. I do not want to mingle at work, nor outside of work.
@@07ikkin but your colleagues are people you’re going to spend a huge chunk of your life around. I would like to have more opportunities to interact with them outside of work so that I can reduce the amount of stress I face there.
@@zephaurith5591and many people would rather not. Can you tell me you would rather fake a small talk conversation (all you will ever be able to safely do in a workplace setting without threat of something or another) than actually connect on a life long, personal level. It sounds so fucking boring and uninteresting, and i love learning about people.
This is so sad and yet true. I know folks who are so bad at their jobs and supremely good at a** kissing. They're the ones getting good appraisals and never getting fired.
This is absolutely right. I see this everyday at my firm. Some of the attorneys with the WORST work, who make you wonder how they even passed the bar...are the ones promoted and given the most raises. Why? Because the higher ups like them and overlook their serious mistakes and are much quicker to fix them and chalk it up to "learning curve".
"skipping company happy hour, don't" damn dude. That's why I left my last job. I never went because I had two jobs and they'd always want to go after the meetings at 10pm and I had to be back at 6am for the other job. Afher missing three or four they were trying so hard to get rid of me. Cutting my hours massively, giving me the shitty tasking , micro managing me. Was just trying to last long enough to get the last bonus. Then I left two days after
If a company wants to get rid of someone because of "skipping happy hour" , it aint a company worth working for in the first place. Good that you left that shithole.
I’ve been in the VFX industry for almost 20 years and yup, I got all my jobs because I was as good as other people applying but also had friends there already. Every movie or commercial I worked on. Same thing. I always try to have as much fun as possible while working and get my team all the support I can and I think that helps get repeat business.
💯 She is telling the truth! Keep up with your social interactions alongside your intelligence.
I can see Vivian sitting at her desk, thinking about all the extra hours she’s spent outside of work working, just to have her boss give more favor to the idiot and the asshole types.
In Germany we call this “promoted away“. Yes. We actually have a term for this phenomenon. Because a lot of industries give the idiots that can’t just be fired titles and “responsibilities“, where they can’t do as much damage 😂
😂😂😂
Was sagt man dazu auf deutsch? 😳 Noch mir gehört
Or sometimes give them the worst jobs hoping they quit on their own :/
Why can’t they be fired?
@@ritasjourney If you technically do your job and do not do stuff you are not supposed to. You cant be legally fired if the job is still required. You cant just make up S and fire people when citizens have worker rights. Which is how it should be, but in turn you have anecdotal situations with a bad match.
Ironically, these same rules also retain people that are "hard to control", but do their job 40% better than most others.
Yes, high level of worker rights actually increase productivity because you cant just fire people you do not like.
Facts not only that it's all about who you know nepotism is running rapid right now you don't need education it's all about who your mom dad or any other relative is I see this everyday at my job
Agree that pay at higher levels is based on who you know.
It sounds like a conspiracy but it actually makes sense. Lower level jobs are mostly about your ability to put your head down and grind out the work. People who have aptitude for the work AND social acumen end up promoted out of those positions because they're more valuable elsewhere in the organization.
The brilliant person with the social skills of a rock stays at that level because that's where they shine. Sticking them in front of an audience of other teams/management/etc is NOT where they excel.
Compensation is correlated with perceived impact.
If you're that brilliant person that is a master of head down grinding stop it. Work on the social piece. It's holding you back.
The last phrase was the most important. You may not like it... But all business is made up of personal relationships. Meaning you have to work on those extra network relationships to get a leg up. You can easily do that be talking to people, making meetings, getting involved, stepping up etc. And usually for jobs you are happy in, there is no problem. As long as your workplace isn't toxic, going to happy hour with coworkers doesn't mean you won't like it. Balance in everything.
This is so true and still hard to accept. But let's put on the boss's shoes: would you like a smarter subordinate who threatens your position in the company, or do you want an average subordinate who has neither the power nor the will to threaten you?
That's the problem with people, they forget to see a situation from both sides, that's why we lack awareness and become ignorant.
Yeah, but, I'd rather be good at what I do than be the dummy promoted to a position I don't deserve and am no good at just because I sold my self respect by kissing up and using people. I guess for me it depends on whether I can genuinely befriend the people I would need to befriend. If so, yes, make time for them because they'll always want to reward people they feel they really know personally and can trust.
Completely agree, but sadly and infuriatingly people don't value hard work and integrity. They prefer lazy ass kissers.
Same here. Got too much self respect to kiss up and bootlick. I may never get promoted after x number of years and i'll find another job. But if i do, it damn sure will be because of my hardwork and performance.
This is so accurate. My job I just got rehired at was one I had when my mental health was TERRIBLE. Granted I’m a hard worker, I always try when I’m there, but admittedly I called in wayyy more than at my previous jobs. And there were definitely days where I took it slow or made several mistakes. But my boss gave me an excellent performance review and took me back simply because I worked on being friendly and a good listener with him.
You are AWESOME! Keep up the great work!
Sad to say but so true. I worked for an organization that constantly hired directors, managers and supervisors that had no idea the process of our job.
I have a story that relates to this...well kind of. I had this coworker who’s chatty all the time. She and her sister went off to talk with some guy when she had to work. Literally sat at a table for eating customers and just chatted while the rest of us stood. One of the coworkers was annoyed and decided to take a long break to match this. The girl had the audacity to be like “you were at break for a long time.” If I did that shit I would’ve been in trouble 😩 I’m so happy I work for myself now.
This is so true. I'm not joking when I say that MOST of all of the furniture I have in my home came from coworkers. I established strong connections with so many people and over the years I had so many of them just giving me their used furniture.
That hair...GORGEOUS! Salon finish. Looks amazing! On another note... "As usual"....with the pulling of strings and connections and all that. Not surprising. It is the way of the world we live in, now
As a retired person, that has been my experience all through my employment years!
Having a solid network will open up doors a college degree never could. Trust me. I have no formal education. But building relationships with the right people put me in positions I never would've imagined, and making more money as well
This is absolutely 100%true!
There is truth to this. I own a pretty big construction company and most of the people that work for me are more talented than me. However I have integrity and can get along with anybody and am good at sales and that has been a big key to our success. I’ve also fired really smart and talented people who didn’t know how to play well with others. Being likable is a skill too.
The people at the top are smart enough to not let the smartest people compete for their jobs.
When you realize it’s not your GPA that determines how well you’ll do in your career but how well you communicate
*me spending every moment at work work working*
*the second they need to cut costs*
"idk fire that one girl we never see"
1000%true bff not only more pay but other perks too.
You spoke TRUTH... With humor! Love it ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
So true, I’ve gotten away with doing much less much than some of my coworkers in previous jobs by just being personable with higher ups. Lots of perks come with that, too. I suggest if you’re not social you learn some charismatic tips/tricks if you wanna work smarter not harder.
As a swede this is accurate
some of them don't pay foreigners as much even though the foreigners could've been living there for years and have education etc.
U r absolutely brilliant. u r 100% correct as long as your boss like u . Your shit does not stink .
This is true. I don’t get too many promotions and my division got relocated to Texas. But my manager could only save one. She picked me to stay and I think it’s because I’m always friendly with her and talk to her like a friend.
If you could define America it would be this.
Very true brown nosers ascend that landed quicker than those with actual job experience. Then your boss expects you to "train" them. Sorry, that's not in my job description 😂
I’ve never heard anything truer than this comment. Simply promoting someone because they are well liked is not only a disservice to them but also to those that will be expected to develop them. I also think it’s a sure way to lose talented individuals supervised by that individual.
Kid, you are So, So, So right about this! I now tell people "think twice" about corp. America.
It’s always the people who knows how to talk like they know something but they do not know anything gets promoted. Talking, presentation & people skills seems so much important than actual skills to do the job..
Being reliable gets you 80% there. The last 20% is intelligence and not being an asshole. I'm not that smart but I make bloody sure that if my boss asks me to do it, it'll get done. Write that shit down. Take notes in meetings. Don't assume you'll remember. Then get that shit done. You'll be surprised how many people mess that up. Be reliable, don't be an asshole, be somewhat intelligent, and you'll be sorted.
Of course. Everything is a popularity contest.
This is definitely true... To a certain extent. I know companies that are managed by people who don't know enough about the key knowledge/skills of their own industry. It's how once in a while we get even big corporations making the news for a spectacular f up. There are definitely also limitations to the type of industries this applies to. There are industries where you might be disliked by ALL of your colleagues and still go up the ranks because of your skills. Neither extreme is good.
Explains why I move up so fast. Im tall, attractive, good social skills, high empathy, and a genius!
I quit a job bc they kept putting the dumbest people in management, I found out that the “it” staff was in a group chat titled “the mess” long story short that place is now a crap whole. They kept losing all the good workers that smelled the stank after a few weeks of working. This was in social services and let me tell you if it’s a for profit , run for the hills.
So I have to socialize with my coworkers? Guess what I skipped today at work? 😩
But for real, this is probably the biggest motivator to try to retire early ☺️
Humility is not intellectually based, but accepting your limitations allows you to seek teamwork.
Your hair looks great, Vivian!! You always look great anyway😀✅💯
It’s called working in teams, life not hard be a good team Mate.
I don’t mean be friends with co workers but try to win the game you’re all playing together
It’s so simple
Be pleasant to be around, keep your word and hustle
"So the next time you're thinking of skipping company happy hour-"
I wasn't
I'm not sacrificing my time just for the sake of some chance I might impress a senior in "company happy hours". If you want a raise, just make sure you're not sucking at the job and start applying for positions in competition companies.
💯 🙌🏾. There’s also different kinds of intelligence, that are often undervalued like emotional and social. Being able to generally understand people and respond appropriately to social cues is soo important in a business setting. That’s why the smartest people in terms of IQ, who lack social awareness run the companies and hire people to do all that networking stuff for them. 😅
All you have to do is compare the engineering department to the sales dependent. Nuff said
Soooo true, one job I used to have, had the departments on different floors and the difference in vibes on each floor was unbelievable- completely silent in engineering and like a party in sales. Everyday.
We all watched cartoon but never listen to the message: the most important thing in life are friends
This is amazingly accurate. My dad makes a lot of money as a programmer, but that's all he can do. He's got no useful skills outside of programming, and failed several highschool classes and only got into UD because his mom worked there.
Truth. I've seen people get jobs they were NO WHERE close to being eligible for. Bombed from day one and was never fired. The people who knew what they were doing had to take up the slack. Smh
Which is why you always make connections and pretend to be your enemy's friend, especially if said "enemy" is a supervisor, boss, manager.
And yet so many wealthy people equate their earnings with intellect. Not the same at all.
Every day you see people, and I meet people that I can’t believe other people employ
Legit facts! My current employer tells all new trainees… ‘socialize to rise’
Connections is power for good or for worse.
I once had an ex offshore senior colleague in IT industry who couldn't and wouldn't want to do/ produce actual tech work. But, she'll do her best to meddle in our meetings so that it looked as if she's helping/ managing something. She looks pretty and is just that. 😂
She sticked out like a sore thumb because the team was small, and everyone disliked her because of her corporate trick (explained above)
We were asked to train her and teach her to do her job yet she had the audacity to only choose the easy tasks.
Oh and she got the Senior position because she knows someone who has connection to the offshore IT Director.
We heard this from our manager and even he didn't dare/ couldn't do anything to her (improvement plan/ something similar, etc)
Your first conclusion is scientifically 2000% accurate
She is totally right about this.
Sometimes I wish I could play dumb but it's so hard. I have learnt to just go with the flow...until I get my business going.
The positive energy! Wow! Every time? Got to get my energy game up!
Truth is best when served cold.
Trust and relationship with your boss and managment is 1000% more important that acctual results.
If you are trusted and liked you will do better regardless of your output.
you can be toxic like nuclear waste but the boss likes you will keep regardless if they actually do their job.
probably some of the best advice one could give. TY
My boss hates me and I often get looked over on purpose even though I'm fully qualified
Vivian you really are a rich bff☺️ This, as per usual with your videos, is so true. Although leadership is a skill not necessarily measured by intelligence markers, the point remains. Your boss will protect you if it helps them and faking confidence goes a long, long way. 😉 love your messages girl, thank you for sharing 🙌
I learned this after my 3rd job. Basically people will keep an employee that is either capable or liked. And if I had to be a betting man I’d put my odds on the liked employee. It sucks and I was that “hate water cooler talk” but it’s essential and not that big of a sacrifice. Can’t beat them join them.
thats actually such good advice
This is true. The ‘work horse’ or the ‘go to’ guy is not necessarily the one who gets the promotion. The best way is networking. 😅
Risk taking is also a factor in success. If you are less intelligent you are less likely to identify risks and will take riskier decisions. Sometimes that works out.
1. How smart you are 2. How socially appealing you are 3. Does your boss see bankable leadership potential within you? With that, number 3 will always outweigh 1 and 2.
It's frustrating when you're smarter than your awful boss.
OMG. I wish I knew this sooner. Have to find a new job asap
Haha so true! Just look at our government officials 😂