Dealing with a self harmer - what NOT to do

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  • Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024

Комментарии • 39

  • @obsessedwithbangtanx5086
    @obsessedwithbangtanx5086 6 лет назад +124

    I hate it when people ask what’s on my arms and asks loudly so others know when they obviously know what it is 🤦‍♀️🙄

    • @farahsamir401
      @farahsamir401 6 лет назад +12

      Yesss!!! I fucking hate it happened to me 4 times and they're just scars it's from so long ago and it's soooo embarrassing!!! Like you know why say it out loud!??

    • @MegaStormxX
      @MegaStormxX 4 года назад +6

      I hate this. You KNOW what they are, you just want to stick your nose all up in my business and you're deciding to put me on the spot just because it makes it harder for me to not talk about it. I DON'T WANNA DISCUSS IT WITH YOU LMFAO.

  • @Rosarotespferd
    @Rosarotespferd 6 лет назад +95

    omggggg whats that on your legssss???? - actually a bear attacked me. ure welcome.

    • @Selfharmerproblems
      @Selfharmerproblems  6 лет назад +39

      And they usually know ^^

    • @roro4444
      @roro4444 3 года назад +4

      say you fell off a tree

    • @emilynewman7823
      @emilynewman7823 2 года назад +3

      @@slivxr2186 kangaroos don’t hurt you unless you annoy them or act like you wanna fight. I’ve been right up next to them giving them hugs before and they didn’t care

  • @Layer03cyberia
    @Layer03cyberia 3 года назад +34

    It’s annoying when people literally make jokes out of it too. It’s some stupid 14 year old emo billie eyelish thing. It’s ok to make a joke if you are the one dealing with it but not for the people you trusted to tell to go “lmao emo suicide arm”

  • @rosellastar468
    @rosellastar468 3 года назад +33

    That last one really hits home for me. One time when the school found out about my cuts they told my parents and you can guess right my mum told everyone she could. So when I got home my gran called me having a go at me saying I’m selfish not thinking how hard my mum has it right now only for me to add this and then she went onto compare my struggles to hers saying she never did this so I have no right to

    • @urmomincrocs3919
      @urmomincrocs3919 3 года назад +3

      im so sorry this happend to you! you are so valid, it must have been awfull but i really hope youre doing better, you are valid and so are youre struggles and probllems, you should be taken seriously so i hope you'll have the oppertunity to talk to someone about it and you will be able to recover

    • @justalittlegore
      @justalittlegore 2 года назад +2

      THAT is selfish! does she really not think of you as a person whos struggling?? sure its hard on your mom, but what about YOU?? im so so so fking sorry i hate when people are like that. i hope you are safe :’)

  • @Whimsical.fellow
    @Whimsical.fellow 3 года назад +23

    Hah. All of this has happened to me when attempting to reach out. Love my family!

  • @finn-sl3ij
    @finn-sl3ij 5 лет назад +49

    Is it ok to talk about yourself when you also self harm and they tell you that they do to?

    • @smoupnhoize
      @smoupnhoize 5 лет назад +32

      I think it depends on how you go about it. Don't make it all about you and take over the conversation, but something like "I self harm too. If you ever need to talk to someone, know you can talk to me and I'm not going to judge you."

    • @thshadowkitten2221
      @thshadowkitten2221 2 года назад +2

      To an extent. It’s okay to tell them about your experience to tell them they are not alone, but never use this to make a contest out of it.

  • @Listenclearly1979
    @Listenclearly1979 3 года назад +9

    I am 41 years old, about 4 years ago I was taken to the hospital (really unwell and not being taken seriously for many months despite telling professionals how bad I felt), nurse cleaning wounds said they were not that bad.
    I instantly felt invalidated and disappointed as I thought if they were not bad that no one would listen again

  • @GUROBOY..
    @GUROBOY.. 4 года назад +34

    Also don’t send your freshly cut wounds, because my friend did this and I added like 50 cuts on my thigh

  • @memorysstories1561
    @memorysstories1561 3 года назад +12

    i know my best friend is self harming, she knows i'm self harming.
    I am always there for her. If she wants to call me I will never put any other thing first.
    But i feel like if i talk about my problems for once, she just tries to change the topic. And even when she does this, i don't wanna confront her because i know what it feels like to think you hurt a friend and it's all your fault.

    • @makaylahargrave4768
      @makaylahargrave4768 3 года назад +2

      You could try to just ask her, “Can I talk to you about something?” If she still changes the subject, you could write down what you want to talk to her about, so she can just read it. Idk if this helps or not but if you need help with anything else, let me know.

    • @givemefood8524
      @givemefood8524 2 года назад

      What happened now?

    • @memorysstories1561
      @memorysstories1561 2 года назад

      @@givemefood8524 i haven't talked to her in a while. She goes to another school and i don't have time to call her, which makes me pretty happy. She's toxic

    • @givemefood8524
      @givemefood8524 2 года назад

      @@memorysstories1561 well if you're happy then that's good:>Stay safe

  • @MisterLewa
    @MisterLewa 3 года назад +18

    Hello:)I started to watch all of your videos, and now I am at this video and I want to say that you must not stop talking about the problems of people who are struggling with selfharm or mental illnesses, because it's a serious problem. Thank you and I wish you a lot of subscribers). Nice hair colour;)

  • @XxSad_boiUwUxX
    @XxSad_boiUwUxX 2 года назад +4

    A PERSONAL take on this video.
    1. I completely agree. This is so stressful when people tell. It’s also terrifying just thinking about them even telling people that could help you.
    2. I totally agree again this terrifies me. Some people don’t always understand that seeing them is a big step. And one that it’s hard to take. And makes people anxious or invalidates them.
    3. What the frick people do that?? I agree with this.
    TW I mention self harm explicitly this one.
    4. What- that just so invalidates people. I’ve been told this before and honestly started cutting so much deeper.
    Ok no more TW
    5. That’s really stinks when people do that.

  • @izabellaspeed9055
    @izabellaspeed9055 5 лет назад +20

    im so suprised this only got 84 likes

  • @hijinnyanimations1460
    @hijinnyanimations1460 2 года назад +2

    The urge to send this to my family tho

  • @user-vk3in4ge4v
    @user-vk3in4ge4v 6 лет назад +13

    👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

  • @girlinterupted2003
    @girlinterupted2003 2 года назад +1

    Ive seen worse happened to me more than once and also when i got treatment for my eating disorder. Thanks for sharing it helps me!

  • @gacha_nerd2162
    @gacha_nerd2162 2 года назад +3

    when i told my fiance i had self harmed a few days prior his response was "Why would you do that? It makes no sense" Then, "How do you think this makes me feel"... I'm still having trouble stopping but i refuse to go to him now cause he just makes me feel worse by making me feel guilty..

  • @sciamachy9838
    @sciamachy9838 6 лет назад +3

    I hate when people see my scars or my cuts and say "why? you have a lot of attentions"
    fuck off is not for attention... god help them

  • @sleepy.hellhound
    @sleepy.hellhound 2 года назад +1

    Me and my s/o are both self harmers, so we luckily don't push these boundaries, but I hate when other people do these. Even if they don't know not to do it, it's still annoying.

  • @mynameisddotcalm1008
    @mynameisddotcalm1008 3 года назад +2

    My friend self harms and she asked me multiple times to see my scars. She’s so open about hers, but when I tell her no she gets so upset. I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m doing it for attention and that I don’t actually cut.

  • @justalittlegore
    @justalittlegore 2 года назад +1

    a lot of the times when someone vents to me (i havent had anyone tell me about them self harming) i will tell them that i had something similar happen, not to change the subject but to try to relate and let them know that theyre not alone, but i dont know if i shouldnt do that, or at least word it differently bc i dont want to make it about me at all, i just want them to know that i know how they feel. a problem is that this is usually my default response (i dont tell them a whole story, just like 2 sentences at *most*) and im not great at knowing what to say to comfort people and i dont just want to say “im so sorry” or “im always here for you” because i feel like, even though they are genuine, they are kinda “generic” responses (not saying theyre wrong or bad) and i would like to say a little more so that they dont feel alone or out of place. does anyone have any advice to help me with what to say?

  • @whoknows2420
    @whoknows2420 3 года назад +3

    FACTS

  • @Jeff-fp8qx
    @Jeff-fp8qx 3 года назад +4

    I feel loved, my dad found out about my self harm and he was caring. Like really! He asked me why I did it and said if I do it again he will get me a therapist but my dumb ass just sat there wondering why I did it. I don't really QwQ so. . .i wasted his time QwQ I did relapse again but no-one found out. . .yet.

    • @Listenclearly1979
      @Listenclearly1979 3 года назад +2

      Sometimes we don't know and that's ok💚

    • @Jeff-fp8qx
      @Jeff-fp8qx 3 года назад +3

      @@Listenclearly1979 ^w^ aww! Thank you 💚