It's the entitlement for me. Mothers tend to feel entitled to their children's time and love. When most mothers were beyond Problematic. Sorry, not sorry, Mom.😡
I have noticed the same thing in my family. When my widowed grandmother got sick my uncles barely helped although they live in town. But when they needed to borrow money or something else they could come around. Same on my dad’s side. My aunt’s husband does more than her brothers do.
In my family, it fell to the single and child-free daughter because the married daughters with children feel their family is their priority. The single/child-free daughter should be responsible for the parents, sick siblings, or whoever needs help. I have a tremendous amount of resentment toward my siblings for this.
A lot of these parents are forgetting the hellishness of their ways in their youth. Very easy for a parent to get 50-60 and forget who they were when they were raising their children. I've seen it with own eyes how parents will commit unforgivable offenses yet expect the child to still come around, show respect while it isn't reciprocated, etc. The second woman was spot on, alot of these parents refuse to take accountability for why their children might not want to be around them. Won't even sit and listen to their true feelings, but get offended and call the child entitled once they pull away due to a lack of respect for their humanity.
Something all parents must seriously consider, especially mothers, is that your children come through you, but they do not belong to you. I know this is a hard concept to accept, but it is the reality.
Adult children have every right to turn their backs on bad or abusive parents. The parents who wonder why they have no relationship with their adult children should reflect on how they treated them years earlier.
I saw a food delivery lady early this evening around 5:30 pm, doing deliveries on her bike with a little 5/ 6-year-old girl in a pink tracksuit, sitting behind her on the delivery bike! Was this her daughter? Did her baby daddy not turn up to look after her while she was working? Is she a desperate single mom who had no one to leave her child with? So sad, very sad...all because she didn't think carefully before having a child with a man. It made me realise how LUCKY and smart I am to NOT have a child with any man. No baggage, no stress. I can pack my bags 🎒 and leave him or go on holiday, etc, anytime I want. Life is good when you are child free. Give a LIKE if you are one of the LUCKY and SMART ladies who are not drinking the 'have a child to keep him/make him love you' bogus nonsense 😁 Stay SMART 💜 💖 ❤️
This is co-dependency and an abnormal attachment style. I know. I’m an adult child of it. The best thing she can do is get therapy and discover who she is outside of her kids. They aren’t little anymore and they aren’t her friends.
@@sc-bj2fs I didn’t say it was abnormal. It seems she has an abnormal attachment style. Lots of info on the diff types of attachment styles if you want to look it up. 😊 and for sure co-dependency is not normal.
Wow, you are a really ungrateful daughter. There is nothing co-dependant about wanting unconditional love back from the children she carried for 9 month, suckled on her now droopy breasts, destroyed her once beautiful body, she endured many sleepless nights, she put food on the table, a roof over their heads, helped with homework, held them when they cried etc etc. Who was co-dependant on who here? Certainly not her.
You are so entitled, I feel sorry for you. But, you will know how it feels NOT to be loved, respected, and appreciated when your own daughter/child one day treats you how you treat your own mother. Best that you don't have a child because Karma is feminine, she loves motherhood and she is a BITCH.
@@tamuz9633 you don’t even know me to say I’m so entitled. Lol. I’m not sure how u drew your conclusion, but…ur wrong. I actually take very good care of my mother. She’s legally blind, so my sis and I drive her everywhere she needs to go. We attend all of her doc appts (which are many because she has chronic illness), we run errands with her, we are present for all procedures, we just hang with her quite often because we enjoy it-at the mall, we workout together and we talk multiple times a day by phone and see her multiple times a week. Not that any of this is ur business, but just to show u that u drew a random conclusion out of ur ass based on an innocuous comment I made. Lol. And the icing on top is my sis and I also stepped in and helped care for our grandparents when they were in need. Try again 🫠 have a great day! And I hope your kids care for you the way my sis and I care for our mom. I should hope everyone gets the great support that we provide my mom, but the truth is not everyone does or deserves it just because they are a mother (depending on how they treat their children). And you don’t have to feel sorry for me. I don’t need ur pity. 😬
I'm in my 50's and have absolutely no relationship with my parents(20 yrs and going). They were good at making themselves look like good people to the community but liars and narcistic people are good at it. My mother was a racist puerto rican and would never support me when I was being assaulted or treated poorly by teachers and other adults. They would just tell me I was angry at the world. Since not speaking to them, I have peace.
Trauma is passed down from generation to generation. In the past, a lot of that stuff got swept under the rug. So much so, that people think that the "good ol'days" actually were. They forgot all the trauma, because no one talked about it. Now people are starting to talk. Now that all the cruft under the rugs are coming out, people can't handle all the dust in their faces. Lady, you stood on that rug for 50 years. Everything under it is yours. Own it. Your kid's don't owe you anything, they didn't choose you, you choose them. They don't have to reciprocate.
The OP lost me at "there's too much entitlement in this generation" and "where is the respect and appreciation for parents for all they have done? " and "it was easier when the kids were younger ". This tells me all I need to know about why she's been abandoned but her children. She wanted babies, not human beings who would eventually become adults with agency. She also believes bringing them into this world is a favour for which she must be praised and thanked regularly. Jokes on her.
EXACTLY!!!!!!! This comment should be pinned. 99.9% of parents decided to have children bc ''babies are so cute''.. well they aren't ur little dolls to play with, it's a whole human being with it's own personality, thoughts, opinions etc. Parents often think that their kids are their cute little mini-me's and it's SO WRONG.
Tht 2nd lady spoke a whole word!! Check the parent, not the child. YOU chose to be a parent, find a way to fix it. No contact w/ my father since '18 & I feel so much lighter & positive. Heavy on the "they dnt even knw me" (3rd lady)
I have seen both sides. There are good parents who's kid(s) are entitled brats and trash and there are parents who are terrible who end up having wonderful children.
Children are the fruits of their parents ! People can convince you that they are great and wonderful people, but the seeds they have sown into their children, the fruits are manifest. If the children turn out to be trash, it's because the parents are trash! 17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 19 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. 20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. (Mathew 7:17-20 KJV)
And let’s be clear abuse doesn’t always have to be physical. It can be very much so mental abuse and emotional so I just like when parents say I didn’t do anything what is the emotional damage that you caused? What is the mental damage that you caused? What’s the physical damage that you caused. Ask yourself that as a parent.
It’s never about appreciating your parent. It’s you as a parent need to be a good parent to your child if you want them to take care of you when you’re older. If not you will suffer the consequences. No one is obligated to take care of parents that didn’t properly take care of their children.
Turning backs really needs to be defined. Because your children are now adults, they have adult responsibilities and must act accordingly. Example, I have a parent who felt ignored because many of their calls went unanswered. However, when at work or in school, answering calls immediately is impossible. When there was a moment to call back, all that would happen would be complaining and whining that the calls were unanswered. Who's the entitled one here? Just because you've procreated the child doesn't mean you're entitled to all of their time.
I think a lot of parents get so used to being the center of their kids world when that kid is young that they forget, one day that kid is gonna be grown and they'll have adult things going on. And the parent can no longer be the center of the kids universe when the kid had school and a job or is starting a family of their own. And like, isn't that the goal? Isn't that what's supposed to happen? Parents who don't know how to separate themselves and unattach need therapy. And probably had kids for the wrong reasons. Cuz kids aren't an extension of the parents. They're human beings in their own right. And a parts job is to guide them into shit hood so they can live their OWN lives. Lots of parents need to realize that. And then there's the ones thinking they did a great job when they traumatized their poor kid and that parent just refused to understand why their kid won't talk to them. Don't even get me started on that
What did you expect them to do as adults? The key word is "adult". They are not longer "children". As adult seniors, my siblings and I are going through this with our mom (proud to say, at 72, our 92 year old mom is still with us)! But she still wants to be the authority of us. She tried to interfere with the girl' marriages, even tried to take their kids, as the oldest daughter, I just found it hard to even date while living in the same community as her. Your job/responsibility is over as their parent. Let them go. Observe and acknowledge their successes and be sad at their discomforts...at a distance unless they come to you for advice or assistance. Assist them on their terms because they know what their needs are. There will be failures, but they are THEIR failures...maybe even tragic. Buy, they are making adult choices. As a parent your job was to teach them how to navigate life and make their own decisions and have their own family adventures. As someone else responded, you are sounding like hints of being a Narcissist. This year, we has to admit Mom is a Narcissist and we are having to take drastic steps...that also emotionally hurt us....to separate her klinging, possessive behaviors. She's asking us to be her children again. We can't. We're adults. Go out and find people your own age to interact with. They're looking for the same thing you are. Inclusion
It's actually the fear of losing the people who you love the most. That's where the controlling behavior comes from. If you really think about it being 92 years old has to be scary because they are probably thinking they want to spend as much time with their family before it's their time to go..
@shishicoll2358 There's a philosophy of the harder you clasp something to you, you will eventually break/destroy it. To enjoy something is to release it; set it free and it stays around/lasts longer.
So true. I think it’s also generational. The older generations treated children as separate groups. I feel like Gen X used their children as friends (even tho they carried the mantra I’m not your little friend) and also for validation.
I love my mom. But when she speaks, she cries and comes off just as sincere as the first Lady. But when you’re good to your kids, VERY RARE do they not want to deal with you in adulthood. My mom would allow men she dates to abuse us, she would constantly compare us to others as though we weren’t good enough, she would physical and emotionally abuse us, treat us as tho we wrecked her live by being born! It was by the grace of God that me and my sisters turned out to be successful well adjusted women. And now, my mom can’t seem to understand why we’re not taking care of her financially even tho she is not yet retired and she has her husband who she chose over us. She cries and plays the victim constantly and keeps saying she did her best. So the other day I told her that I wanted her to come to Canada to spend some time with me, her response was that I need to pay for her husband to come and vacate as well or else she’s not coming. So right now, I’m cold to her. She hasn’t change, still the same manipulative narcissist.
Same. To hear my mom tell it, I'm the most ungrateful, nasty daughter ever. And I KNOW there are people who fully believe her version of the story and think I'm awful. Because they've never met me or heard MY side. And my mom is a really good manipulator, really good at turning in the charm and getting people to believe whatever she wants. She's amazing at it. Hell, even i believed that she hadn't done anything wrong for most of my childhood. Until it became apparent that other people didn't live the way I did. Until I went to a friend's house and realized they weren't terrified when they accidentally spilled juice. Until I realized it's not normal for every kid to feel so worthless that they honestly believe their parent would be happier if they just didn't exist anymore. She never laid a hand on us, but you don't have to hit a cold to abuse them and cause damage that it will take YEARS to recover from. But since my mother is completely incapable of taking accountability or seeing things from any perspective but her own, she genuinely believes to this day that she was a great mom who did her best. And yeah, for her I guess she was. Except the problem is, she's a manipulative, narcissistic piece of trash, so her best kinda sucked. And the not her best stuff really screwed me up. Thank God I'm older now and have had time to heal. But there's a reason I'm been no contact for over a decade and will stay that way. And there are way too many oriole like my mom and yours, who never should have been parents in the first place, out here honestly thinking they did great, and even selling that idea to people. And those people will buy it, because they have no clue what went on behind closed doors. Those people though? Not our problem. We gotta take care of ourselves and worry about our own lives. And if that means going no contract, fine. My mother will probably never understand. She'll wonder why I don't talk to her until the day she dies (may she rest in hell). But quite frankly, i don't care. I no longer give a crap. I don't even harbor any resentment anymore. Beveridge I understand now that I won't and can't ever have what I want from her. Because she's incapable of giving it. She doesn't have it in her to look at herself and self reflect and be better. And that's exactly why she'll never be part of my world
The lady in the beginning sounds sincere, but as we all know there's two sides to a story. They know what to say to pull at the heartstrings of people but they won't admit to or tell you the mistakes they made with their children. Even caretakers in the nursing home can see through the bs. The secrets don't stay in the home for long.
If anyone has a problem the they should be adult enough to say and not expect the parent to mind read, just like children do things to stress their parent. parents are not perfect either and it's about time people speak truth to each other.everybody would do things better with high insight.she knows her faults.and you don't have to of been what people call a bad mother for your child to not speak to you.and it not about who's side is worst.
RIGHT!!! Everyone is so quick to label the child as disrespectful but don't ask themselves, "Damn, what did that parent do to cause their own child to stop talking to them?" Me personally I know what it is to have the type of parent that is a sweet "woe-is-me" angel in public but a sociopathic narcissistic evil vindictive monster to her children behind closed doors.
I guarantee of you heard my mother, she'd sound sincere too. And to hear her tell it, I did like the most ungrateful, nasty, unappreciated daughter on the planet. That's because to her I AM. And in her mind, she simply cannot fathom why I won't talk to her because she does her absolute best to raise me and be a good mother. The problem is that she's completely incapable of doing things from any perspective but her own and she's incapable of taking accountability and realizing that for all the good she did, she also REALLY dropped the ball in other ways. And I'll be the first to admit, she was a great parent. She was really laid back about things like self expression, sexuality, taking mental health days from school. Sounds great, right? The constant verbal abuse though, that's where it all falls apart. Cuz the fact is, when you make your kids feel so worthless they honestly think you'd be happier if they didn't exist, it just erases all the good that you've done to raise them. So I don't contact my mother, I have no relationship with her. Because she's shown me time and again that she's not interested in a relationship with me as a person, beyond what I can do for her. But to hear her tell it, I'm so ungrateful and mean and I won't do anything for her, not even call. And i know that they're are probably dozens of people that truly believe that, because they're friends with her and they've never met me or heard my side of the story. So anytime I see things like this, I always just wonder why. Because a decent kid who had decent parents will always talk to them. If you really did raise your kids right (and you weren't unlucky enough to give birth to a truly selfish piece of trash), then there won't be an issue. So if there is an issue, where is it? Is it maybe a parent revising to acknowledge the impact they had on their children? I'm betting it is
Yessss, my kids are grown and I'm having to pivot, I'm going to travel and house-sit around the world. They can call me whenever they please but I'm going to live MY life while they live THEIRS.
Your comment speaks to me. I once felt as the original Tik Toker did. I was even feeling like I had no reason to carry on being here. Then I pivoted. I decided the best thing I could do for my daughter and I is to live a full, vibrant, happy life. I already live abroad, and I love it. Now, however, I've stopped expecting my relationship with my daughter to be anything but what it is. And you know what, I now appreciate the occasional text, "Hey Mommy, how is your day?"
I’m also no contact with both of my parents bc they are narcissistic people who refused to parent me or my siblings. They dropped us off at grandmas and continued to live their child free, crack smoking lives. Now their old and can’t manipulate me. But best of luck to them. BLOCKED 🤷🏽♀️🍀
This is why when you are raising kids, you should always make sure that you are developing your lives as well. This way if they disengage you go on with your lives and the kids go on with theirs. Never give up your life for your kids.
I'm sorry but I'm at the stage of life where whenever someone says they don't deal with their parents, I take it very seriously and try to respect that. All these women talking about their parents are absolutely right. These parents just don't realize how they affected their kids and most of the time the parents completely lack the emotional maturity and introspection to figure out what they did to screw up their kids. So you have to cut them off sometimes. I've had friends go through this and having grown up with them and having SEEN what they went through with their horrible parents, I totally get why they either limit contact or go no contact with them. You have to for your own sanity.
My mother is a NARC. Just a nasty person who just abuses and depletes. I had to leave her alone as associating with her would have been the death of me.
The answer is your weren’t a good parent. Lol most parents are in some weird delusional world that they were a great parent and it’s the complete opposite. Which is why your kids will grow up and move away from the toxicity and cut it off. My mother was a shit parent too and I was mostly raised by my grandparents. My mother thinks she raised me my whole life (which she didn’t ) 7:28 and was a great parent when she was mentally and physically abusive. Took no accountability. Once I got away from her, I cut all communication with her and life’s been amazing ever since. Those people need deep therapy, not to force their adult children to have a relationship with them.
The bible says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife" . Parents should stop being manipulative. I experience the same challenge, that sometimes my mother wanna know who i'm i speaking to through the phone hence & i don wanna be around her because i hate being controlled at an adult age.
Some people can’t grasp the fact that the way they grew up and were treated, will not be the way this generation grew up and can be treated. Their view of respect was warped, respect is mutual, it is admiration, it is love and care. The people of the old came from hard times where respect was given no matter what even in times of abuse. The newer generations have now seen the effects of how they grew up, and are now reversing it because they no longer depend on society’s view of them as much.
If you are having children to fill an adoration and/or love gap...please think again. Just like your spouse...kids is not guaranteed love or bliss. ...take care mum
It’s the “it was easier when they were kids” that gets me riled. Of course it was, because they couldn’t just F off when you disrespect them and parented them poorly as a child. As an adult, you get to learn if you really did as good of a job as you think. If your kids don’t want to know you when they’re older, more often than not your parenting hurt them and they are unable to talk to you about it. I can’t imagine greater entitlement than a parent being unwilling to listen to their adult child’s experiences due to their fragile ego. These parents need to look in a mirror 😮💨
Spot on. They want someone who just stands there when they spank and punish him. God these parents, look in the god damn mirror, u yourself are just a random person, and u want someone to obey you totally just because u decided to pop them out? Wtf any self reflection?
"It should be the time of your life after raising your kids," she says. It's also the time of her life when you should be wizened enough to know from where all the family's problems stem. There is without a doubt a family dysfunction way before the loss of respect, bad blood, and break up. We never consider the garbage we all hoard and never consciously dispose of it. Our internal confusion and lack of focus become detrimental to one's self and every individual and collective associated.
Broken people fill their emptiness and shallowness by having a child or more, only to raise up more angry and confused people. Over 80% of people should not have any children, and the world would be a better and happier place. Better to know, love and spoil your inner child before going off to have a child to try and fill your void in life with someone who will very probably not be with you 5-10 years AFTER that poor child is born 💔
I’d rather avoid my parents then hash out all the horrible neglect, and physical harm I’ve endured. This lady reminds me of my mom, because she pretends to be ignorant and like she’s the victim, rather than taking some accountability.
Me and my sisters no longer talk or associate with our mother because she chose and defends a pedophile/sex offender and sweeps his sexual abuse under the rug. So I think no contact with parents depends on each individuals situation.
This is why we need to be psychologically evaluating people before they have babies. The parent child dynamic changes when your child becomes an adult. You’ll either be distant or become friends. They aren’t dependent on you as a parent anymore so if you didn’t spend time and effort learning the person your child became later on in life then you’ll most definitely grow apart. That concept is no different in friendships and romantic relationships. Some of us don’t even like who our parents are as people on a basic level. I personally never go to my parents for advice because they are small minded and stuck their own little bubble. They never provided a safe space to vent either because they lack compassion and understanding so why would I feel comfortable talking to people like that?? It’s really simple but most people have kids to fulfill their own selfish needs and desires and then act shocked when their kid isn’t willing to be up there a** later on in life. That’s entitlement !
I have seen both sides of this as far as people being in the wrong. I stopped speaking to my dad for years. I didn’t disrespect him. I just didn’t reach out and if he called me I didn’t answer and would text him later. The core of the problem is his wife is a nasty, mean, toxic controlling bitch. My entire dad’s side can’t stand her. Since I feel like he cosigns her bs I cut him off to protect my peace. He knew exactly what the problem was and I told her point blank to stop contacting me. Recently my father and I have reconnected but we leave her out of our relationship. He calls me from his cell when he’s not home and I don’t visit or call their house. However, when I wasn’t talking to him I also refused to ask for or accept money from him. Some kids play both sides. Don’t tell me how horrible your mother and father are if you keep hitting them up for money as an adult. Why are you asking money from horrible toxic people? I have seen a lot of people who are in their 20s and 30s and still on their parents tits. They want their parents to pay their rent, car note or whatever then emotionally blackmail them if they don’t give them money they or even refuse to let them see their grandkids. I feel like if you want to be seen as and treated like an adult, then go be an adult.
Parents act like now they are done parenting us, it’s our job to now parent them. Forgetting the fact that they are not children. We are now both adults. You have to treat me like an adult, and I will treat you like an adult. Whatever happened before was great, but it’s gone. Now it depends on how to act going forward.
all of us haven’t turned our backs on our parents and if your Kid(S) with an S are saying the same things maybe you should look into yourself… maybe you did in fact do things that impacted them negatively. Thanks for raising them but you owed them that. Literally owed them that. You’re not acknowledging anything they said to you, you’re calling them entitled… entitled to what?
It's ridiculous that she sees entitlement from the kids, but not from the parents that want their kids to keep in touch and help when they need even through mistreatment. As a parent, you're not entitled to your kids living the life you want them to live, and you're not entitled to contact with your adult kids, you need to grow this relationship through mutual respect. Conversely, children ARE entitled to care, economic and emotional support from their parents until they're adults, so there's no "repayment" required. There is nothing to repay, having kids it was your job to nurture them into adulthood.
If your kids are not talking to you, you must have messed up as a parent, and I'm not saying that children who don't stop speaking to their parents are perfect, but I've noticed some parents allow their children to be disrespectful to other adults.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but those children are not obligated to stay around you, you did your job, you raised them, you can’t hold on to them forever, nows the time for you and your husbands life to begin, empty nest syndrome is hard, but our kids have their own lives, and they have to spread their wings and make their own mistakes, you will be accessed when needed, a break up, a fall out with a friend, they may even need help with a bill, and once that’s solved, they’ll be gone again, until next time. They may call one or two times a month, but this is nothing unusual. My daughter is the same way, she has her life, she calls her mom from time to time, but she’s living her best life, I remember those days, and wished my mom would just let me enjoy them. I also had her later in life, and she lives out of state, so she calls twice a month, but wants me to call her, anytime. We’ve lived, it’s their turn.
I honestly think parents are delusional. Bcuz their BEST was bullshit and as adults, their children realize this and now 🤷🏽♀️ Bottom line, ur kids don't owe U shit. Also, we need to stop calling children out for how they treat their parents bcuz everybody's parents aren't your parents!! Some ppls parents sell their 8yo for crack. Worry about yourself.
I know the feeling. I think it is partly due to the social environment of late, you can't touch your kids, you can't holla at them, you can't enter their bedroom without approval, you feel me. SMDH. 🇨🇼🇩🇲🇩🇲🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
I can’t stand how parents don’t understand living life as a new adult. Most kids are not trying to ignore their parents. They are kickstarting their lives. Yeah, the parents’ whole attention was on their kids when they were little but what about how the grandparents felt then. The grandparents weren’t complaining bc they were busy helping and focusing on what they could do for the next generation of kids. I feel like the parents thinking like this are kind of self centered.
Exactly right. I couldn’t even watch the first person the whole time because I was just getting traumatized just listening to her. It’s like the parents also expect us to be their therapist. I didn’t sign up to listen to all this trauma. I have trauma of my own. You had 23 years to fix your trauma and just refused to do it. Instead you decided that in order to be happy, you would just see your child as an extension of yourself and steal their happiness. And now that they have no more happiness to offer because of all the trauma you put them through, you are sad because you are no longer getting supply.
Why I turned my back on my parents? Because they are toxic as hell. And I became more aware of this truth after I left a cult I had been deceived into joining. To the outside world, my mother looked like a good mom, and she was and is financially. However she was also hateful, queerphobic, ableist, emotionally immature, and abusive with foolish pride. My mother never got me tested for autism, and it was very evident that I was neurodivergent. Instead, she just framed it as me being unique (🤮). As I got older, it became evident that I was not heterosexual. So she brought my dad in my life. My dad is a bully, and a narcissist who only saw me as an extension of him. During my teen years, my parents were verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive towards me for their own reasons. My dad wanted me to be like him, and wanted someone to exert dominance over. My mom was driven by her need for me to be her fantasy man. I felt compelled by my relatives and my community to keep them around in my life in my 20s. Now in my 30s, I have very limited contact with my mom and no contact and no contact with my dad. Everyday I don’t talk to them is a plus.
In the Bible it reads honor your mother and your father, may your day be long upon this earth. So be careful how you treat your parents because your own children is going to treat you the way you treat your parents believe me.
As soon as the kids gain autonomy they're seen as difficult. If you are an abusive parent,your kids have the right to cut ties. Don't be a shitty parent... take accountability and quit playing victim
Your kids don’t owe you anything I had a amazing relationship with my mom not my dad and wanted to have a good relationship with him until I realized he just wasn’t a good person and I had to accept it for what it is
There is definitely more to the story then what she is telling. Kids will treat you when they get older how you treated them growing up. Kids are very observant and see & hear everything. If they saw her being disrespectful to her parents then they are going to do the same to her. Further more when I see her on tic toc at 50yrs old complaining about her kids not respecting her tells me all I need to know. Your not showing respect for your kids by airing out your issues with your kids for the whole world to see. If it’s bothering you that much then go see a psychiatrist. If you were my mom putting our business out like that I wouldn’t have respect for you either.
I agree with this mom had to back away from two oldest as long as I’m giving I’m good but let me need something it’s almost like donI know you but when it comes to their friends boy they get the royal treatment.
My mother sure had other iddues, she had a long and bad marriage. But still the way i would discribe my mother is: She did not care to get to know me past age 12. Every change i made since than is ignored. My mother doesnt know anything about my interests. Often i get the feeling she dislikes learning new things about me. Even ask me to stop things i do that i enjoy because thats so new to her. She wants to be near me and have a marry good time, but ignores me. I cant say it another way. She wants to be with me, but without having to deal with who i am.
It's unbeleivable the rationality in trying to justify cutting off your parents after they brought you into this world by saying that it is their responsible to take care of you anyway and that you didn't ask to be here . And in addition to that , you say that you don't owe them nothing . Never can anything be further from the truth . Also note !!!!! THE PARENTS DIDN'T ASK TO BE HERE NIETHER . Yet and still many of them took it as a bagde of honor in raising many of you with those types of attitudes . Parents , in general , don't deserve that type of behavior after all what many of them had to endure just to get many of you where you are today .
Being a parent first name you an entitled god. If you had been a half the parent you thought you were, the results would’ve been completely different. Good day!
my "father" beat the shit out of me and my sisters called us many names like stupid, whore (how can an 8yr old be a whore) any name he could think of we were called and my "mother" didn't do shit about it just rammed christianity down our throats and insisted that praying to god would heal his heart and make him change. He is still the same now as he was then and neither one has said sorry or made any effort to change so neither one in my opinion is deserved of my respect or a place in my life. If that isn't just cause to cut parents out you must be ok with kids being abused.
What a constructive way you have offered for people, parents, grown adult kids, to recognize one another's point of view so that all can take a big step back from personalizing and projecting on one another. We might find it a challenge to try to know another adult we once knew as a child in a new way....they are in constant change and growth which those of us at a distance may not know how best to interact with. We cannot guess. But if we are open to their no or their yes or whatever they express, and we meet their communication with an open mind and accountability that might count as a sign of good faith that some kind of honest connection could be possible.
And, as people have said here (better than I can say) we focus on our own lives and creative pursuits, not put our noses in our relative's business because our loved ones have their own lives, options, choices, identities. If we are on the periphery its because that’s their choice, period. If we have learned how to be better people, we may be able to do better by someone else's adult child who has had to keep a wall against the past and needs some encouragement as they navigate on their own past the way it used to be. We live in a culture in the USA which has profited by pitting the generations against each other, which is very sad, but that is a bigger political discussion. In the EU people seem to keep a lighter, even sometimes humorous, approach to family dischord and transgenerational dynamics. Both sides of parties in disagreement make less of a rush to judgement in the EU than in America where people quickly label behavior and assign each other identities from their cohort stereotypes, i.e. "entitled" youth instead of individuating, "narcissistic" parents instead of mentally rigid or preserving an obsolete set of values that no longer apply in tech driven pace and pressures of adult lives. Its these nuances which make a big difference in finding how to create tender bridges across generational chasms.
Life is a individual thing. You live your life and now it's time for them to live there life. They love you. It's time for you too live your life have fun pick up were you left off. Much love ❤️
Young adults in their early 20’s might not be able to give you the reciprocal relationship you want. As parents your job changes it never ends. So you need to adjust the way in which you’re relating to them. They will also deal with you the way they see you dealing with your elders. Did they grow up watching people in your family value and include their elders? Do you encourage them and invest in them as adults? If they wanted to start a clothing line, would you ask to see their designs and check on their LLC formation? Or would you try direct them to more realistic outlets. I agree with the older woman who said they are out living their lives. You cannot wrap yourself up in your children. This is why teenagers are horrible. It’s so you can let them go when they’re adults.
Most off this parents are selfish and narcissistic ppl, they gas light you & don’t even help doing hard times, they make you go through hell & when you start to do good with your life? They want to stay close and expect you to do everything for them.
My mother kick out when I was 19 and pregnant never was there for me my boyfriend mother now mother in law took me in and help me through through everything.
❤❤❤❤❤You, Jules! I look forward to your words of encouragement when you post, I never stop appreciating it. Thank you, always for taking the time, take care, BEAUTIFUL SOUL!
We raised them to feel entitled. We wanted to parent them differently from our fathers, mothers, or both who were very strict, sometimes unnecessarily. And we ended up coddling them. Not everyone, but some of us who are dealing with the fallout.
Too much coddling and treating them as our friends, not as parents. Now they treat us as fair weather friends, not as respectful children with boundaries. I RESPECT women who chose and choose NOT to have these little brats called kids. BTW, kids is the name given to goats offsprings 🐐 Maybe what we call them also plays a role in how inhuman they behave.
Seems like you grew up with great parents and yoh are a great parent too, most kids grew up being treated like shit by their parents and don't want anything to do with them
@Julia Mpofu This is because too many people, especially women, think that having a child is a sign of greatness and respectability. If so, then it only lasts for a year, and then reality settles in, and they start wishing that they didn't have any children. By that time, it's too late.
I cannot imagine carrying a child for nine months getting your body cut open like a Thanksgiving turkey to give them life and I tried around and call you the B word? Work 3-4 jobs to put them through college and as soon as they graduate from college and get a real job, the ghost their parents? Some of these young adults are just disrespectful the selfish you’re cold hearted unappreciative and spoil.
She broke her family up now the kids making her pay for it. They asked dad what happened and he told them the truth. This is what happens when you kick out dad. Enjoy!!!!😮
My mom has done so much to me left me alone at 14 went to another state Tennessee left me in Indiana at 14 then while I am pregnant with her grandchild she slept with her father while I was at Kingdom Hall bible studying she hurt me in so many ways but she was living outside I took her in she’s changing trying to be better now u have to forgive to be free
@@brownsugga2584 when ur use to getting hurt growing up it’s so familiar to u once u forgive them its easier to get past it but yes it hurts so bad but now her health isn’t good at all cause she lived outside in a tent for few years and her guy disappeared on her so now I’m taking care of her she helped me with light bill and all but I’m glad she’s alive can’t really blame her cause her mom was worse to her than she was me so I’m learning and teaching her my mom is Cherokee and product of my grandmother being raped by a German so yea bunch of and many more problems I’m trying to break free from
Like I said, my oldest son is 35 years old he’s married staff sergeant in the military. I wasn’t even invited to his wedding. Me and his younger brother was not invited and my youngest son now who is in college and I pay his full tuition in his dorm. I get the middle finger and so forth and so on from him also. But my thing is this if you’re gonna ghost me, then ghost me completely don’t come back to me when you need your dorm room to be paid or when you need it someone to sign off on your new car or someone to sign off as your apartment guarantor, etc. ghost me then to keep on ghosting me
Why is everybody saying that she didn’t take care of her kids probably? Why is everybody accusing her of not being a good mom they don’t know her situation. They didn’t watch her razor children. There are some children or should I say young adults that are extremely spoil their users an opportunist. They will squeeze their parents like a lemon, and as soon as they get what they want and get where they want it will turn them back on their parents as all the parents never exist. Until they are in need again.
Yup, there’s adult children and parents who behave this way. I wouldn’t chalk up most of the estranged adult children as users though. They have genuine reason to keep mom or dad at arms distance.
I got two grown sons. I already know I’m probably going to be on my own when I’m older. Me and my sisters are currently taking care of our parents. Mom has dementia dad had several strokes and both need 24 hr care. Sometimes I feel stuck. I don’t sleep at home because I’m there 12 hrs a day. It’s hard.
I've just got one question... Sure we can look to the past and whether they will be accountable... But here's my question... What have you done to change the actions and problems you continue to perpetuate? Sorry is not enough if you continue to do the same thing over and over. Apologies mean nothing without change
First and foremost, the responsibility of parents, when it comes down to their children is to raise nurture and guide her child until the age of 18. Do you have some children that are so disrespectful that even if you build them a castle, it’s not enough. There are some young adults who feel that their parents is obligated to put a roof over their head rent free this that and the third until whenever. Respect goes both ways. Yes we have mom’s chose to be parents. We also chose to go to morning sickness. We also chose to have our insides ripped apart bringing children, a.k.a. young adults into the world. So, with that being said, it goes both ways where respect is concerned with acknowledgment is concern we as parents could’ve did something totally different, but we chose to bring you children, young adults into the world. There are people giving birth to children and throwing them in the ditch or putting them in foster homes but if you have a parent that has nurtured you until you become of age, put you under their wing, pay for your college and your dorm, etc. make sure that you had the best of the best, and then you turn your back on that parent? That is all the way wrong.
This is incorrect. A parents job doesn't end at 18. You're their parent until the day one of y'all dies. There are many parents who provides for their children and such but don't treat them well. No child owes their parents anything. Parents made a choice and if they didn't nourish their relationship with their child(ren) they shouldn't expect much in return. That relationship, like any other cannot be one sided
Agree.The entitled kids with good parents get their karma of ingrates as them.we must protect our wombs from weeds and bad seeds.That's why Chinese will triumph in world power bsc the petty kids will have no legacy.
You aren’t going to be best friends or emotionally close with anyone because you did things for them. You can be in a relationship with a man/woman and receive expensive gifts and lavish trips and still feel alone. Your child doesn’t have to like you or feel spiritually connected to you because you gave birth and put clothes on their back. That’s not how relationships work. There is so much more emotional work involved and parents really need to educate themselves on that.
Live YOUR life. Support a child from a developing country through a charity, if you want a child so badly. He/she will more likely appreciate you MORE than your own biological ungrateful brat! ❤️
@Rabia I was not talking about the woman in the video, just women in general who are under the delusion that having a child will solve their inner loneliness, low self-esteem issues, and co-dependancy on men. Women need to love themselves first and question themselves why they want to have a child in the first place, because as we all know, motherhood doesn't keep a man from straying nor does it make him love you more. In 60% of instances, it actually causes stress in a relationship because three important things ie time, sex and money 💰 dry up very fast once a child is in the picture. FACTS!
A lot of these adult children in the comments are cold blooded to their parents I expect it from wypipo but seeing this from black children is new to me because we were raised to look out for our parents since they aren’t perfect ppl, my mom did not have to worry about that n she had 6 children no one turned their back on her n my 2 luv me dearly n would never I know many of adult children that are very close to their mom so🤷🏽♀️I guess we’re in a sad state
@@Blackdove0421 someone’s race doesn’t obligate an adult to deal with parents that are abusive and/or toxic. We can be understanding and even loving, but adult children don’t and should not remain in the same dynamic of their childhood with their parent. This is true of healthy relationships too!
Thank you Sis!! This generation is simply rude, ill mannered and disrespectful!! You're right we would NEVER mistreat and turn our backs on our Parents the way these narcissistic millennials do. As I have said many times before social media has been the destruction of our society.
People are soft as hell. Everyone is suddenly a narcissist and everything is toxic. Just because they are grown and no longer need their parents and can now brag about being no contact. People have too much time and are so easily influenced by social media. They look back into the past and nitpick everything with a critical eye. I get the children who suffered abuse not wanting to be in touch with their parents. But others who just jump on the bandwagon and give vague arguments. What a Godless society we live in!
Sad, but on the flip side there are lots of parents who have a workable though not perfect relationship with their adult children. Prov. 22:6 (KJV) Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Ephesians 6:4 -New King James Version And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Also Colossians 3:22. I don not like the saying "do as I say and not as I do". There needs to be mutual respect on both sides. What the Bible says really works. There is no perfect human being ONLY JESUS WAS SINLESS PERFECTION. Children learn by example not what we preach to them. I am not a child of the 90s but way before, but I get them. I'm a mom but I have learned through trial and error to give loving boundaries to adult kids. What you sow you will reap. Not everyone will react the way we want them. CAN'T FORCE anyone to return love. GOD gave us ALL FREE WILL, even though there are consequences. PARENTS LOVE THEM EVEN THOUGH IT HURTS. GOD HEALS.....
this is what happens when you make being a parent your whole identity AND you're bad at it. Your kids are entitled because they don't want to talk to you? Give me a BREAK lolllll
Here's the interesting thing that I'm hearing in these videos. The mother, the parent has no right to her feelings. The millennials are saying all their hearing is I, I, I, when I'm listening to them all I'm hearing from them is I, I, I because there is an emotion, there is a feeling. No you didn't ask to be here, but the mother didn't ask to be here either, the grandmother didn't ask to be here either, but we're all here and somebody's got to take care of the little ones in that typically falls on the mother and mistakes are made there's somebody that stays and that's typically the mother who's doing the best she can with what she's got and in quite a few circumstances there isn't much that she's got.
Love, teach, protect your peace, and turn to God. I pray you and they have a foundation in The Creator....... Matthew 10:34-37 34Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. 35For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. 36And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. 37He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
U kids in this thread ( if u didn't say you got beat) I can tell you're the problem, not your parents smh a lot of u wouldn't have made it back in the day you'd be on the streets blaming your parents for not tolerating your disrespect and thinking u get to tell them what to do smh
All OF THESE PEOPLE NEED TO WATCH SOFT WHITE UNDERBELLY. YOU WILL SEE THE REAL DRUDGES OF LIFE THAT DIDNT DO NOTHING BUT LEAVE THEY KIDS IN THE SYSTEM. ALOT OF YALL NEED TO FORGIVE AND GET SOME THERAPY CAUSE WHEN YOU DONT FORGIVE YOUR PARENTS YOUR CHILDREN DONT FORGIVE YOU!! FORGIVE YOUR PARENTS FOR YOURSELF!!!❤❤❤❤❤
It's the entitlement for me. Mothers tend to feel entitled to their children's time and love. When most mothers were beyond Problematic. Sorry, not sorry, Mom.😡
!!!!Right!!!!!
Taking care of elderly parents mostly fall on the daughters. The sons barely help with anything.
Yesssss and I'm healing from resentment because of it.
Sorry to hear that…I am a son and could not iamgine taking care of my parents
I have noticed the same thing in my family. When my widowed grandmother got sick my uncles barely helped although they live in town. But when they needed to borrow money or something else they could come around. Same on my dad’s side. My aunt’s husband does more than her brothers do.
In my family, it fell to the single and child-free daughter because the married daughters with children feel their family is their priority. The single/child-free daughter should be responsible for the parents, sick siblings, or whoever needs help. I have a tremendous amount of resentment toward my siblings for this.
To the children I have only one thing to say…one day you will be elderly too and may have children. I say karma is real
A lot of these parents are forgetting the hellishness of their ways in their youth. Very easy for a parent to get 50-60 and forget who they were when they were raising their children.
I've seen it with own eyes how parents will commit unforgivable offenses yet expect the child to still come around, show respect while it isn't reciprocated, etc.
The second woman was spot on, alot of these parents refuse to take accountability for why their children might not want to be around them. Won't even sit and listen to their true feelings, but get offended and call the child entitled once they pull away due to a lack of respect for their humanity.
Facts 💯
Because some parents are extremely narcissistic and abusive and their kids decide to not deal with them when they become adults.
Something all parents must seriously consider, especially mothers, is that your children come through you, but they do not belong to you. I know this is a hard concept to accept, but it is the reality.
Adult children have every right to turn their backs on bad or abusive parents. The parents who wonder why they have no relationship with their adult children should reflect on how they treated them years earlier.
Lady, you think you were a good mother, but your kids disagree! Don't ask the internet, ask YOUR KIDS!
Can manipulate the internet easier though
Having children is not all that it's cracked out to be. Worse if you are a single or divorced mom. Don't do it, ladies.
I saw a food delivery lady early this evening around 5:30 pm, doing deliveries on her bike with a little 5/ 6-year-old girl in a pink tracksuit, sitting behind her on the delivery bike!
Was this her daughter? Did her baby daddy not turn up to look after her while she was working? Is she a desperate single mom who had no one to leave her child with? So sad, very sad...all because she didn't think carefully before having a child with a man.
It made me realise how LUCKY and smart I am to NOT have a child with any man. No baggage, no stress. I can pack my bags 🎒 and leave him or go on holiday, etc, anytime I want. Life is good when you are child free. Give a LIKE if you are one of the LUCKY and SMART ladies who are not drinking the 'have a child to keep him/make him love you' bogus nonsense 😁
Stay SMART 💜 💖 ❤️
Also most parents love to play victims and manipulate children
This is co-dependency and an abnormal attachment style. I know. I’m an adult child of it. The best thing she can do is get therapy and discover who she is outside of her kids. They aren’t little anymore and they aren’t her friends.
What's abnormal about wanting your children around you? It's abnormal to not want your kids around you.
@@sc-bj2fs I didn’t say it was abnormal. It seems she has an abnormal attachment style. Lots of info on the diff types of attachment styles if you want to look it up. 😊 and for sure co-dependency is not normal.
Wow, you are a really ungrateful daughter.
There is nothing co-dependant about wanting unconditional love back from the children she carried for 9 month, suckled on her now droopy breasts, destroyed her once beautiful body, she endured many sleepless nights, she put food on the table, a roof over their heads, helped with homework, held them when they cried etc etc.
Who was co-dependant on who here? Certainly not her.
You are so entitled, I feel sorry for you.
But, you will know how it feels NOT to be loved, respected, and appreciated when your own daughter/child one day treats you how you treat your own mother. Best that you don't have a child because Karma is feminine, she loves motherhood and she is a BITCH.
@@tamuz9633 you don’t even know me to say I’m so entitled. Lol. I’m not sure how u drew your conclusion, but…ur wrong. I actually take very good care of my mother. She’s legally blind, so my sis and I drive her everywhere she needs to go. We attend all of her doc appts (which are many because she has chronic illness), we run errands with her, we are present for all procedures, we just hang with her quite often because we enjoy it-at the mall, we workout together and we talk multiple times a day by phone and see her multiple times a week. Not that any of this is ur business, but just to show u that u drew a random conclusion out of ur ass based on an innocuous comment I made. Lol. And the icing on top is my sis and I also stepped in and helped care for our grandparents when they were in need. Try again 🫠 have a great day! And I hope your kids care for you the way my sis and I care for our mom. I should hope everyone gets the great support that we provide my mom, but the truth is not everyone does or deserves it just because they are a mother (depending on how they treat their children).
And you don’t have to feel sorry for me. I don’t need ur pity. 😬
I'm in my 50's and have absolutely no relationship with my parents(20 yrs and going). They were good at making themselves look like good people to the community but liars and narcistic people are good at it. My mother was a racist puerto rican and would never support me when I was being assaulted or treated poorly by teachers and other adults. They would just tell me I was angry at the world. Since not speaking to them, I have peace.
Trauma is passed down from generation to generation. In the past, a lot of that stuff got swept under the rug. So much so, that people think that the "good ol'days" actually were. They forgot all the trauma, because no one talked about it.
Now people are starting to talk. Now that all the cruft under the rugs are coming out, people can't handle all the dust in their faces.
Lady, you stood on that rug for 50 years. Everything under it is yours. Own it.
Your kid's don't owe you anything, they didn't choose you, you choose them. They don't have to reciprocate.
The OP lost me at "there's too much entitlement in this generation" and "where is the respect and appreciation for parents for all they have done? " and "it was easier when the kids were younger ". This tells me all I need to know about why she's been abandoned but her children. She wanted babies, not human beings who would eventually become adults with agency. She also believes bringing them into this world is a favour for which she must be praised and thanked regularly. Jokes on her.
EXACTLY!!!!!!! This comment should be pinned. 99.9% of parents decided to have children bc ''babies are so cute''.. well they aren't ur little dolls to play with, it's a whole human being with it's own personality, thoughts, opinions etc. Parents often think that their kids are their cute little mini-me's and it's SO WRONG.
Tht 2nd lady spoke a whole word!! Check the parent, not the child. YOU chose to be a parent, find a way to fix it. No contact w/ my father since '18 & I feel so much lighter & positive. Heavy on the "they dnt even knw me" (3rd lady)
I agree. The parent should check themselves
I have seen both sides. There are good parents who's kid(s) are entitled brats and trash and there are parents who are terrible who end up having wonderful children.
yep.
Exactly
Children are the fruits of their parents ! People can convince you that they are great and wonderful people, but the seeds they have sown into their children, the fruits are manifest. If the children turn out to be trash, it's because the parents are trash!
17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
19 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. (Mathew 7:17-20 KJV)
And let’s be clear abuse doesn’t always have to be physical. It can be very much so mental abuse and emotional so I just like when parents say I didn’t do anything what is the emotional damage that you caused? What is the mental damage that you caused? What’s the physical damage that you caused. Ask yourself that as a parent.
I agree 💯
let's include verbal abuse bc words have an everlasting effect on kids as they get older.
It’s never about appreciating your parent. It’s you as a parent need to be a good parent to your child if you want them to take care of you when you’re older. If not you will suffer the consequences. No one is obligated to take care of parents that didn’t properly take care of their children.
Having kids for them to take care of you when your older is extremely selfish!
Exactly
Thank you!
Actually kids should never abandon no matter what. I know there might be outliers but in general
@@averagebodybuilder we don’t tolerate abuse anymore. Go somewhere else with that… I said what I said
parents see the truth as disrespect so they will keep wondering forever
Turning backs really needs to be defined. Because your children are now adults, they have adult responsibilities and must act accordingly.
Example, I have a parent who felt ignored because many of their calls went unanswered. However, when at work or in school, answering calls immediately is impossible. When there was a moment to call back, all that would happen would be complaining and whining that the calls were unanswered.
Who's the entitled one here? Just because you've procreated the child doesn't mean you're entitled to all of their time.
I think a lot of parents get so used to being the center of their kids world when that kid is young that they forget, one day that kid is gonna be grown and they'll have adult things going on.
And the parent can no longer be the center of the kids universe when the kid had school and a job or is starting a family of their own.
And like, isn't that the goal? Isn't that what's supposed to happen?
Parents who don't know how to separate themselves and unattach need therapy. And probably had kids for the wrong reasons.
Cuz kids aren't an extension of the parents. They're human beings in their own right. And a parts job is to guide them into shit hood so they can live their OWN lives.
Lots of parents need to realize that. And then there's the ones thinking they did a great job when they traumatized their poor kid and that parent just refused to understand why their kid won't talk to them. Don't even get me started on that
At the end of the day our job is to raise them and let them go. It's hard but that is the nature of things.
Exactly.
Parents… Children did not ask to be born. You brought them here. Parenting is a huge responsibility that you chose. Children owe parents nothing.
What did you expect them to do as adults? The key word is "adult". They are not longer "children". As adult seniors, my siblings and I are going through this with our mom (proud to say, at 72, our 92 year old mom is still with us)! But she still wants to be the authority of us. She tried to interfere with the girl' marriages, even tried to take their kids, as the oldest daughter, I just found it hard to even date while living in the same community as her. Your job/responsibility is over as their parent. Let them go. Observe and acknowledge their successes and be sad at their discomforts...at a distance unless they come to you for advice or assistance. Assist them on their terms because they know what their needs are. There will be failures, but they are THEIR failures...maybe even tragic. Buy, they are making adult choices. As a parent your job was to teach them how to navigate life and make their own decisions and have their own family adventures. As someone else responded, you are sounding like hints of being a Narcissist. This year, we has to admit Mom is a Narcissist and we are having to take drastic steps...that also emotionally hurt us....to separate her klinging, possessive behaviors. She's asking us to be her children again. We can't. We're adults. Go out and find people your own age to interact with. They're looking for the same thing you are. Inclusion
It's actually the fear of losing the people who you love the most. That's where the controlling behavior comes from. If you really think about it being 92 years old has to be scary because they are probably thinking they want to spend as much time with their family before it's their time to go..
@shishicoll2358 There's a philosophy of the harder you clasp something to you, you will eventually break/destroy it. To enjoy something is to release it; set it free and it stays around/lasts longer.
@@masaniazura2131 True, but if you're 92 years old, you'd be holding on as long as you could..
So true. I think it’s also generational. The older generations treated children as separate groups.
I feel like Gen X used their children as friends (even tho they carried the mantra I’m not your little friend) and also for validation.
I love my mom. But when she speaks, she cries and comes off just as sincere as the first Lady. But when you’re good to your kids, VERY RARE do they not want to deal with you in adulthood. My mom would allow men she dates to abuse us, she would constantly compare us to others as though we weren’t good enough, she would physical and emotionally abuse us, treat us as tho we wrecked her live by being born! It was by the grace of God that me and my sisters turned out to be successful well adjusted women. And now, my mom can’t seem to understand why we’re not taking care of her financially even tho she is not yet retired and she has her husband who she chose over us. She cries and plays the victim constantly and keeps saying she did her best. So the other day I told her that I wanted her to come to Canada to spend some time with me, her response was that I need to pay for her husband to come and vacate as well or else she’s not coming. So right now, I’m cold to her. She hasn’t change, still the same manipulative narcissist.
Same. To hear my mom tell it, I'm the most ungrateful, nasty daughter ever. And I KNOW there are people who fully believe her version of the story and think I'm awful. Because they've never met me or heard MY side.
And my mom is a really good manipulator, really good at turning in the charm and getting people to believe whatever she wants. She's amazing at it. Hell, even i believed that she hadn't done anything wrong for most of my childhood.
Until it became apparent that other people didn't live the way I did. Until I went to a friend's house and realized they weren't terrified when they accidentally spilled juice. Until I realized it's not normal for every kid to feel so worthless that they honestly believe their parent would be happier if they just didn't exist anymore.
She never laid a hand on us, but you don't have to hit a cold to abuse them and cause damage that it will take YEARS to recover from.
But since my mother is completely incapable of taking accountability or seeing things from any perspective but her own, she genuinely believes to this day that she was a great mom who did her best.
And yeah, for her I guess she was. Except the problem is, she's a manipulative, narcissistic piece of trash, so her best kinda sucked. And the not her best stuff really screwed me up.
Thank God I'm older now and have had time to heal. But there's a reason I'm been no contact for over a decade and will stay that way.
And there are way too many oriole like my mom and yours, who never should have been parents in the first place, out here honestly thinking they did great, and even selling that idea to people. And those people will buy it, because they have no clue what went on behind closed doors.
Those people though? Not our problem. We gotta take care of ourselves and worry about our own lives. And if that means going no contract, fine.
My mother will probably never understand. She'll wonder why I don't talk to her until the day she dies (may she rest in hell). But quite frankly, i don't care. I no longer give a crap.
I don't even harbor any resentment anymore. Beveridge I understand now that I won't and can't ever have what I want from her. Because she's incapable of giving it. She doesn't have it in her to look at herself and self reflect and be better. And that's exactly why she'll never be part of my world
The lady in the beginning sounds sincere, but as we all know there's two sides to a story. They know what to say to pull at the heartstrings of people but they won't admit to or tell you the mistakes they made with their children. Even caretakers in the nursing home can see through the bs. The secrets don't stay in the home for long.
If anyone has a problem the they should be adult enough to say and not expect the parent to mind read, just like children do things to stress their parent. parents are not perfect either and it's about time people speak truth to each other.everybody would do things better with high insight.she knows her faults.and you don't have to of been what people call a bad mother for your child to not speak to you.and it not about who's side is worst.
@@niaralewis1066 If they were still a child best believe the parent "didn't want to hear it" bc they already assumed "excuses".
Try again.
RIGHT!!! Everyone is so quick to label the child as disrespectful but don't ask themselves, "Damn, what did that parent do to cause their own child to stop talking to them?"
Me personally I know what it is to have the type of parent that is a sweet "woe-is-me" angel in public but a sociopathic narcissistic evil vindictive monster to her children behind closed doors.
I guarantee of you heard my mother, she'd sound sincere too. And to hear her tell it, I did like the most ungrateful, nasty, unappreciated daughter on the planet. That's because to her I AM. And in her mind, she simply cannot fathom why I won't talk to her because she does her absolute best to raise me and be a good mother.
The problem is that she's completely incapable of doing things from any perspective but her own and she's incapable of taking accountability and realizing that for all the good she did, she also REALLY dropped the ball in other ways.
And I'll be the first to admit, she was a great parent. She was really laid back about things like self expression, sexuality, taking mental health days from school. Sounds great, right?
The constant verbal abuse though, that's where it all falls apart. Cuz the fact is, when you make your kids feel so worthless they honestly think you'd be happier if they didn't exist, it just erases all the good that you've done to raise them.
So I don't contact my mother, I have no relationship with her. Because she's shown me time and again that she's not interested in a relationship with me as a person, beyond what I can do for her.
But to hear her tell it, I'm so ungrateful and mean and I won't do anything for her, not even call. And i know that they're are probably dozens of people that truly believe that, because they're friends with her and they've never met me or heard my side of the story.
So anytime I see things like this, I always just wonder why. Because a decent kid who had decent parents will always talk to them. If you really did raise your kids right (and you weren't unlucky enough to give birth to a truly selfish piece of trash), then there won't be an issue. So if there is an issue, where is it? Is it maybe a parent revising to acknowledge the impact they had on their children? I'm betting it is
I understand where she’s coming from
Yessss, my kids are grown and I'm having to pivot, I'm going to travel and house-sit around the world. They can call me whenever they please but I'm going to live MY life while they live THEIRS.
Your comment speaks to me. I once felt as the original Tik Toker did. I was even feeling like I had no reason to carry on being here. Then I pivoted. I decided the best thing I could do for my daughter and I is to live a full, vibrant, happy life. I already live abroad, and I love it. Now, however, I've stopped expecting my relationship with my daughter to be anything but what it is. And you know what, I now appreciate the occasional text, "Hey Mommy, how is your day?"
The woman at the gym nailed it.
I’m also no contact with both of my parents bc they are narcissistic people who refused to parent me or my siblings. They dropped us off at grandmas and continued to live their child free, crack smoking lives. Now their old and can’t manipulate me. But best of luck to them. BLOCKED 🤷🏽♀️🍀
damn lol
Atta girl.
Actually, they went on to live their crack smoking CHILDLESS lives. Childfree are people who refuse to have kids under any circumstances.
This is why when you are raising kids, you should always make sure that you are developing your lives as well. This way if they disengage you go on with your lives and the kids go on with theirs. Never give up your life for your kids.
True
I'm sorry but I'm at the stage of life where whenever someone says they don't deal with their parents, I take it very seriously and try to respect that. All these women talking about their parents are absolutely right. These parents just don't realize how they affected their kids and most of the time the parents completely lack the emotional maturity and introspection to figure out what they did to screw up their kids. So you have to cut them off sometimes. I've had friends go through this and having grown up with them and having SEEN what they went through with their horrible parents, I totally get why they either limit contact or go no contact with them. You have to for your own sanity.
My mother is a NARC. Just a nasty person who just abuses and depletes. I had to leave her alone as associating with her would have been the death of me.
Your peace of mind is important
The answer is your weren’t a good parent. Lol most parents are in some weird delusional world that they were a great parent and it’s the complete opposite. Which is why your kids will grow up and move away from the toxicity and cut it off. My mother was a shit parent too and I was mostly raised by my grandparents. My mother thinks she raised me my whole life (which she didn’t ) 7:28 and was a great parent when she was mentally and physically abusive. Took no accountability. Once I got away from her, I cut all communication with her and life’s been amazing ever since. Those people need deep therapy, not to force their adult children to have a relationship with them.
The bible says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife" . Parents should stop being manipulative. I experience the same challenge, that sometimes my mother wanna know who i'm i speaking to through the phone hence & i don wanna be around her because i hate being controlled at an adult age.
Some people can’t grasp the fact that the way they grew up and were treated, will not be the way this generation grew up and can be treated. Their view of respect was warped, respect is mutual, it is admiration, it is love and care. The people of the old came from hard times where respect was given no matter what even in times of abuse. The newer generations have now seen the effects of how they grew up, and are now reversing it because they no longer depend on society’s view of them as much.
If you are having children to fill an adoration and/or love gap...please think again. Just like your spouse...kids is not guaranteed love or bliss. ...take care mum
Maybe she should’ve treated her children better. My young adult daughter, who is the same age as her child, adores me 🤷🏽♀️
What you put into your offspring, is what you get out of your offspring!
It’s the “it was easier when they were kids” that gets me riled. Of course it was, because they couldn’t just F off when you disrespect them and parented them poorly as a child. As an adult, you get to learn if you really did as good of a job as you think. If your kids don’t want to know you when they’re older, more often than not your parenting hurt them and they are unable to talk to you about it. I can’t imagine greater entitlement than a parent being unwilling to listen to their adult child’s experiences due to their fragile ego. These parents need to look in a mirror 😮💨
Spot on. They want someone who just stands there when they spank and punish him. God these parents, look in the god damn mirror, u yourself are just a random person, and u want someone to obey you totally just because u decided to pop them out? Wtf any self reflection?
"It should be the time of your life after raising your kids," she says. It's also the time of her life when you should be wizened enough to know from where all the family's problems stem. There is without a doubt a family dysfunction way before the loss of respect, bad blood, and break up. We never consider the garbage we all hoard and never consciously dispose of it. Our internal confusion and lack of focus become detrimental to one's self and every individual and collective associated.
Broken people fill their emptiness and shallowness by having a child or more, only to raise up more angry and confused people. Over 80% of people should not have any children, and the world would be a better and happier place.
Better to know, love and spoil your inner child before going off to have a child to try and fill your void in life with someone who will very probably not be with you 5-10 years AFTER that poor child is born 💔
Treat their girl children like the backup maid . . .
I have a very large family with the great relationship with our children you people need to do better rising your children
lmao
Also going through the Change is hard. Sometimes it’s best to keep toxic, disrespectful parents at arms length.
I think social media has a lot to do with it also and it’s not just the children it’s people in general no one talks anymore.
These issues existed before social media. If anything social media made it more known that it's happening.
This is untrue. People talk all the time. It might be through electronic means, but it's still communicating.
I’d rather avoid my parents then hash out all the horrible neglect, and physical harm I’ve endured. This lady reminds me of my mom, because she pretends to be ignorant and like she’s the victim, rather than taking some accountability.
Worth a read: The Missing Missing Reasons
Me and my sisters no longer talk or associate with our mother because she chose and defends a pedophile/sex offender and sweeps his sexual abuse under the rug. So I think no contact with parents depends on each individuals situation.
Never bite the hand that feeds you ✨🙏🏾
Some parents bit the hands that were supposed to feed them in the future. Welp.
Parents don't feed their adult children.
This is why we need to be psychologically evaluating people before they have babies. The parent child dynamic changes when your child becomes an adult. You’ll either be distant or become friends. They aren’t dependent on you as a parent anymore so if you didn’t spend time and effort learning the person your child became later on in life then you’ll most definitely grow apart. That concept is no different in friendships and romantic relationships.
Some of us don’t even like who our parents are as people on a basic level.
I personally never go to my parents for advice because they are small minded and stuck their own little bubble. They never provided a safe space to vent either because they lack compassion and understanding so why would I feel comfortable talking to people like that?? It’s really simple but most people have kids to fulfill their own selfish needs and desires and then act shocked when their kid isn’t willing to be up there a** later on in life. That’s entitlement !
I have seen both sides of this as far as people being in the wrong. I stopped speaking to my dad for years. I didn’t disrespect him. I just didn’t reach out and if he called me I didn’t answer and would text him later. The core of the problem is his wife is a nasty, mean, toxic controlling bitch. My entire dad’s side can’t stand her. Since I feel like he cosigns her bs I cut him off to protect my peace. He knew exactly what the problem was and I told her point blank to stop contacting me. Recently my father and I have reconnected but we leave her out of our relationship. He calls me from his cell when he’s not home and I don’t visit or call their house. However, when I wasn’t talking to him I also refused to ask for or accept money from him. Some kids play both sides. Don’t tell me how horrible your mother and father are if you keep hitting them up for money as an adult. Why are you asking money from horrible toxic people?
I have seen a lot of people who are in their 20s and 30s and still on their parents tits. They want their parents to pay their rent, car note or whatever then emotionally blackmail them if they don’t give them money they or even refuse to let them see their grandkids. I feel like if you want to be seen as and treated like an adult, then go be an adult.
Parents act like now they are done parenting us, it’s our job to now parent them. Forgetting the fact that they are not children. We are now both adults. You have to treat me like an adult, and I will treat you like an adult. Whatever happened before was great, but it’s gone. Now it depends on how to act going forward.
all of us haven’t turned our backs on our parents and if your Kid(S) with an S are saying the same things maybe you should look into yourself… maybe you did in fact do things that impacted them negatively. Thanks for raising them but you owed them that. Literally owed them that. You’re not acknowledging anything they said to you, you’re calling them entitled… entitled to what?
It's ridiculous that she sees entitlement from the kids, but not from the parents that want their kids to keep in touch and help when they need even through mistreatment.
As a parent, you're not entitled to your kids living the life you want them to live, and you're not entitled to contact with your adult kids, you need to grow this relationship through mutual respect. Conversely, children ARE entitled to care, economic and emotional support from their parents until they're adults, so there's no "repayment" required. There is nothing to repay, having kids it was your job to nurture them into adulthood.
If your kids are not talking to you, you must have messed up as a parent, and I'm not saying that children who don't stop speaking to their parents are perfect, but I've noticed some parents allow their children to be disrespectful to other adults.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but those children are not obligated to stay around you, you did your job, you raised them, you can’t hold on to them forever, nows the time for you and your husbands life to begin, empty nest syndrome is hard, but our kids have their own lives, and they have to spread their wings and make their own mistakes, you will be accessed when needed, a break up, a fall out with a friend, they may even need help with a bill, and once that’s solved, they’ll be gone again, until next time. They may call one or two times a month, but this is nothing unusual. My daughter is the same way, she has her life, she calls her mom from time to time, but she’s living her best life, I remember those days, and wished my mom would just let me enjoy them. I also had her later in life, and she lives out of state, so she calls twice a month, but wants me to call her, anytime. We’ve lived, it’s their turn.
I honestly think parents are delusional. Bcuz their BEST was bullshit and as adults, their children realize this and now 🤷🏽♀️ Bottom line, ur kids don't owe U shit. Also, we need to stop calling children out for how they treat their parents bcuz everybody's parents aren't your parents!! Some ppls parents sell their 8yo for crack. Worry about yourself.
I know the feeling. I think it is partly due to the social environment of late, you can't touch your kids, you can't holla at them, you can't enter their bedroom without approval, you feel me. SMDH.
🇨🇼🇩🇲🇩🇲🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
I can’t stand how parents don’t understand living life as a new adult. Most kids are not trying to ignore their parents. They are kickstarting their lives. Yeah, the parents’ whole attention was on their kids when they were little but what about how the grandparents felt then. The grandparents weren’t complaining bc they were busy helping and focusing on what they could do for the next generation of kids. I feel like the parents thinking like this are kind of self centered.
If I have a kid I would be happy to be ignored
Exactly right. I couldn’t even watch the first person the whole time because I was just getting traumatized just listening to her. It’s like the parents also expect us to be their therapist. I didn’t sign up to listen to all this trauma. I have trauma of my own.
You had 23 years to fix your trauma and just refused to do it. Instead you decided that in order to be happy, you would just see your child as an extension of yourself and steal their happiness. And now that they have no more happiness to offer because of all the trauma you put them through, you are sad because you are no longer getting supply.
Why I turned my back on my parents? Because they are toxic as hell. And I became more aware of this truth after I left a cult I had been deceived into joining. To the outside world, my mother looked like a good mom, and she was and is financially. However she was also hateful, queerphobic, ableist, emotionally immature, and abusive with foolish pride. My mother never got me tested for autism, and it was very evident that I was neurodivergent. Instead, she just framed it as me being unique (🤮). As I got older, it became evident that I was not heterosexual. So she brought my dad in my life. My dad is a bully, and a narcissist who only saw me as an extension of him. During my teen years, my parents were verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive towards me for their own reasons. My dad wanted me to be like him, and wanted someone to exert dominance over. My mom was driven by her need for me to be her fantasy man. I felt compelled by my relatives and my community to keep them around in my life in my 20s. Now in my 30s, I have very limited contact with my mom and no contact and no contact with my dad. Everyday I don’t talk to them is a plus.
In the Bible it reads honor your mother and your father, may your day be long upon this earth. So be careful how you treat your parents because your own children is going to treat you the way you treat your parents believe me.
It also tells parents not to provoke the children to anger
There are tons of reason, largely "the parent" fails their job in mostly every department, rather it be forced education or the lack thereof.
As soon as the kids gain autonomy they're seen as difficult.
If you are an abusive parent,your kids have the right to cut ties.
Don't be a shitty parent... take accountability and quit playing victim
Your kids don’t owe you anything I had a amazing relationship with my mom not my dad and wanted to have a good relationship with him until I realized he just wasn’t a good person and I had to accept it for what it is
There is definitely more to the story then what she is telling. Kids will treat you when they get older how you treated them growing up. Kids are very observant and see & hear everything. If they saw her being disrespectful to her parents then they are going to do the same to her. Further more when I see her on tic toc at 50yrs old complaining about her kids not respecting her tells me all I need to know. Your not showing respect for your kids by airing out your issues with your kids for the whole world to see. If it’s bothering you that much then go see a psychiatrist. If you were my mom putting our business out like that I wouldn’t have respect for you either.
I agree with this mom had to back away from two oldest as long as I’m giving I’m good but let me need something it’s almost like donI know you but when it comes to their friends boy they get the royal treatment.
My mother sure had other iddues, she had a long and bad marriage. But still the way i would discribe my mother is: She did not care to get to know me past age 12. Every change i made since than is ignored. My mother doesnt know anything about my interests. Often i get the feeling she dislikes learning new things about me. Even ask me to stop things i do that i enjoy because thats so new to her. She wants to be near me and have a marry good time, but ignores me. I cant say it another way. She wants to be with me, but without having to deal with who i am.
It's unbeleivable the rationality in trying to justify cutting off your parents after they brought you into this world by saying that it is their responsible to take care of you anyway and that you didn't ask to be here . And in addition to that , you say that you don't owe them nothing . Never can anything be further from the truth . Also note !!!!! THE PARENTS DIDN'T ASK TO BE HERE NIETHER . Yet and still many of them took it as a bagde of honor in raising many of you with those types of attitudes . Parents , in general , don't deserve that type of behavior after all what many of them had to endure just to get many of you where you are today .
Being a parent first name you an entitled god. If you had been a half the parent you thought you were, the results would’ve been completely different. Good day!
@@jessp8238exactly! Even half the parent you assume you were.
my "father" beat the shit out of me and my sisters called us many names like stupid, whore (how can an 8yr old be a whore) any name he could think of we were called and my "mother" didn't do shit about it just rammed christianity down our throats and insisted that praying to god would heal his heart and make him change. He is still the same now as he was then and neither one has said sorry or made any effort to change so neither one in my opinion is deserved of my respect or a place in my life. If that isn't just cause to cut parents out you must be ok with kids being abused.
What a constructive way you have offered for people, parents, grown adult kids, to recognize one another's point of view so that all can take a big step back from personalizing and projecting on one another. We might find it a challenge to try to know another adult we once knew as a child in a new way....they are in constant change and growth which those of us at a distance may not know how best to interact with. We cannot guess. But if we are open to their no or their yes or whatever they express, and we meet their communication with an open mind and accountability that might count as a sign of good faith that some kind of honest connection could be possible.
And, as people have said here (better than I can say) we focus on our own lives and creative pursuits, not put our noses in our relative's business because our loved ones have their own lives, options, choices, identities. If we are on the periphery its because that’s their choice, period. If we have learned how to be better people, we may be able to do better by someone else's adult child who has had to keep a wall against the past and needs some encouragement as they navigate on their own past the way it used to be. We live in a culture in the USA which has profited by pitting the generations against each other, which is very sad, but that is a bigger political discussion. In the EU people seem to keep a lighter, even sometimes humorous, approach to family dischord and transgenerational dynamics. Both sides of parties in disagreement make less of a rush to judgement in the EU than in America where people quickly label behavior and assign each other identities from their cohort stereotypes, i.e. "entitled" youth instead of individuating, "narcissistic" parents instead of mentally rigid or preserving an obsolete set of values that no longer apply in tech driven pace and pressures of adult lives. Its these nuances which make a big difference in finding how to create tender bridges across generational chasms.
Life is a individual thing. You live your life and now it's time for them to live there life. They love you. It's time for you too live your life have fun pick up were you left off. Much love ❤️
Young adults in their early 20’s might not be able to give you the reciprocal relationship you want. As parents your job changes it never ends. So you need to adjust the way in which you’re relating to them. They will also deal with you the way they see you dealing with your elders. Did they grow up watching people in your family value and include their elders? Do you encourage them and invest in them as adults? If they wanted to start a clothing line, would you ask to see their designs and check on their LLC formation? Or would you try direct them to more realistic outlets. I agree with the older woman who said they are out living their lives. You cannot wrap yourself up in your children. This is why teenagers are horrible. It’s so you can let them go when they’re adults.
Most off this parents are selfish and narcissistic ppl, they gas light you & don’t even help doing hard times, they make you go through hell & when you start to do good with your life? They want to stay close and expect you to do everything for them.
My mother kick out when I was 19 and pregnant never was there for me my boyfriend mother now mother in law took me in and help me through through everything.
Yeah we learned about toxicity and narcissists and said fuck that
❤❤❤❤❤You, Jules! I look forward to your words of encouragement when you post, I never stop appreciating it. Thank you, always for taking the time, take care, BEAUTIFUL SOUL!
Thank you 🙏🏽🤎☺️
We raised them to feel entitled. We wanted to parent them differently from our fathers, mothers, or both who were very strict, sometimes unnecessarily. And we ended up coddling them. Not everyone, but some of us who are dealing with the fallout.
Too much coddling and treating them as our friends, not as parents. Now they treat us as fair weather friends, not as respectful children with boundaries.
I RESPECT women who chose and choose NOT to have these little brats called kids.
BTW, kids is the name given to goats offsprings 🐐 Maybe what we call them also plays a role in how inhuman they behave.
Seems like you grew up with great parents and yoh are a great parent too, most kids grew up being treated like shit by their parents and don't want anything to do with them
@Julia Mpofu This is because too many people, especially women, think that having a child is a sign of greatness and respectability. If so, then it only lasts for a year, and then reality settles in, and they start wishing that they didn't have any children. By that time, it's too late.
I cannot imagine carrying a child for nine months getting your body cut open like a Thanksgiving turkey to give them life and I tried around and call you the B word? Work 3-4 jobs to put them through college and as soon as they graduate from college and get a real job, the ghost their parents? Some of these young adults are just disrespectful the selfish you’re cold hearted unappreciative and spoil.
She broke her family up now the kids making her pay for it. They asked dad what happened and he told them the truth. This is what happens when you kick out dad. Enjoy!!!!😮
My mom has done so much to me left me alone at 14 went to another state Tennessee left me in Indiana at 14 then while I am pregnant with her grandchild she slept with her father while I was at Kingdom Hall bible studying she hurt me in so many ways but she was living outside I took her in she’s changing trying to be better now u have to forgive to be free
Oh my! I can't imagine the hurt smh
@@brownsugga2584 when ur use to getting hurt growing up it’s so familiar to u once u forgive them its easier to get past it but yes it hurts so bad but now her health isn’t good at all cause she lived outside in a tent for few years and her guy disappeared on her so now I’m taking care of her she helped me with light bill and all but I’m glad she’s alive can’t really blame her cause her mom was worse to her than she was me so I’m learning and teaching her my mom is Cherokee and product of my grandmother being raped by a German so yea bunch of and many more problems I’m trying to break free from
Like I said, my oldest son is 35 years old he’s married staff sergeant in the military. I wasn’t even invited to his wedding. Me and his younger brother was not invited and my youngest son now who is in college and I pay his full tuition in his dorm. I get the middle finger and so forth and so on from him also. But my thing is this if you’re gonna ghost me, then ghost me completely don’t come back to me when you need your dorm room to be paid or when you need it someone to sign off on your new car or someone to sign off as your apartment guarantor, etc. ghost me then to keep on ghosting me
These kids attitudes is unacceptable..
Why is everybody saying that she didn’t take care of her kids probably? Why is everybody accusing her of not being a good mom they don’t know her situation. They didn’t watch her razor children. There are some children or should I say young adults that are extremely spoil their users an opportunist. They will squeeze their parents like a lemon, and as soon as they get what they want and get where they want it will turn them back on their parents as all the parents never exist. Until they are in need again.
It's the Mob mentality and it's sad!!! These young people are liars, manipulative and LOVE to paint a narrative that suits them.
Yup, there’s adult children and parents who behave this way. I wouldn’t chalk up most of the estranged adult children as users though. They have genuine reason to keep mom or dad at arms distance.
Uhmmm…. No Mame…. I have one Bio kid but raised 3, others. They Protect Me…. What you was Doring
THE BIBLE SAYS "HONOR THY MOTHER AND THY FATHER"
It also says not to vex your children to anger. They can't honor any person who is abusive. The Bible also says to thine own self be true.
Thank you I needed to hear that. Those words will stick with me forever. Pray for him and just let them live. Thank you
I got two grown sons. I already know I’m probably going to be on my own when I’m older. Me and my sisters are currently taking care of our parents. Mom has dementia dad had several strokes and both need 24 hr care. Sometimes I feel stuck. I don’t sleep at home because I’m there 12 hrs a day. It’s hard.
I've just got one question... Sure we can look to the past and whether they will be accountable... But here's my question... What have you done to change the actions and problems you continue to perpetuate? Sorry is not enough if you continue to do the same thing over and over. Apologies mean nothing without change
First and foremost, the responsibility of parents, when it comes down to their children is to raise nurture and guide her child until the age of 18. Do you have some children that are so disrespectful that even if you build them a castle, it’s not enough. There are some young adults who feel that their parents is obligated to put a roof over their head rent free this that and the third until whenever. Respect goes both ways. Yes we have mom’s chose to be parents. We also chose to go to morning sickness. We also chose to have our insides ripped apart bringing children, a.k.a. young adults into the world. So, with that being said, it goes both ways where respect is concerned with acknowledgment is concern we as parents could’ve did something totally different, but we chose to bring you children, young adults into the world. There are people giving birth to children and throwing them in the ditch or putting them in foster homes but if you have a parent that has nurtured you until you become of age, put you under their wing, pay for your college and your dorm, etc. make sure that you had the best of the best, and then you turn your back on that parent? That is all the way wrong.
This is incorrect. A parents job doesn't end at 18. You're their parent until the day one of y'all dies. There are many parents who provides for their children and such but don't treat them well. No child owes their parents anything. Parents made a choice and if they didn't nourish their relationship with their child(ren) they shouldn't expect much in return. That relationship, like any other cannot be one sided
Agree.The entitled kids with good parents get their karma of ingrates as them.we must protect our wombs from weeds and bad seeds.That's why Chinese will triumph in world power bsc the petty kids will have no legacy.
Those services are the bare minimum to cultivate a healthy human being.😊
You aren’t going to be best friends or emotionally close with anyone because you did things for them. You can be in a relationship with a man/woman and receive expensive gifts and lavish trips and still feel alone. Your child doesn’t have to like you or feel spiritually connected to you because you gave birth and put clothes on their back. That’s not how relationships work. There is so much more emotional work involved and parents really need to educate themselves on that.
At some point the parents will have to let go control.
Live YOUR life. Support a child from a developing country through a charity, if you want a child so badly.
He/she will more likely appreciate you MORE than your own biological ungrateful brat! ❤️
That's not nice. We don't know her or her kid's relationship dynamic enough to jump to such conclusions
lol
@Rabia I was not talking about the woman in the video, just women in general who are under the delusion that having a child will solve their inner loneliness, low self-esteem issues, and co-dependancy on men.
Women need to love themselves first and question themselves why they want to have a child in the first place, because as we all know, motherhood doesn't keep a man from straying nor does it make him love you more. In 60% of instances, it actually causes stress in a relationship because three important things ie time, sex and money 💰 dry up very fast once a child is in the picture. FACTS!
A lot of these adult children in the comments are cold blooded to their parents I expect it from wypipo but seeing this from black children is new to me because we were raised to look out for our parents since they aren’t perfect ppl, my mom did not have to worry about that n she had 6 children no one turned their back on her n my 2 luv me dearly n would never I know many of adult children that are very close to their mom so🤷🏽♀️I guess we’re in a sad state
Girl say it again.
@@Blackdove0421 someone’s race doesn’t obligate an adult to deal with parents that are abusive and/or toxic. We can be understanding and even loving, but adult children don’t and should not remain in the same dynamic of their childhood with their parent. This is true of healthy relationships too!
Thank you Sis!! This generation is simply rude, ill mannered and disrespectful!! You're right we would NEVER mistreat and turn our backs on our Parents the way these narcissistic millennials do. As I have said many times before social media has been the destruction of our society.
People are soft as hell. Everyone is suddenly a narcissist and everything is toxic. Just because they are grown and no longer need their parents and can now brag about being no contact. People have too much time and are so easily influenced by social media. They look back into the past and nitpick everything with a critical eye. I get the children who suffered abuse not wanting to be in touch with their parents. But others who just jump on the bandwagon and give vague arguments. What a Godless society we live in!
Sad, but on the flip side there are lots of parents who have a workable though not perfect relationship with their adult children. Prov. 22:6 (KJV) Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Ephesians 6:4 -New King James Version
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Also Colossians 3:22. I don not like the saying "do as I say and not as I do". There needs to be mutual respect on both sides. What the Bible says really works. There is no perfect human being ONLY JESUS WAS SINLESS PERFECTION. Children learn by example not what we preach to them. I am not a child of the 90s but way before, but I get them. I'm a mom but I have learned through trial and error to give loving boundaries to adult kids. What you sow you will reap. Not everyone will react the way we want them. CAN'T FORCE anyone to return love. GOD gave us ALL FREE WILL, even though there are consequences. PARENTS LOVE THEM EVEN THOUGH IT HURTS. GOD HEALS.....
this is what happens when you make being a parent your whole identity AND you're bad at it. Your kids are entitled because they don't want to talk to you? Give me a BREAK lolllll
Here's the interesting thing that I'm hearing in these videos. The mother, the parent has no right to her feelings. The millennials are saying all their hearing is I, I, I, when I'm listening to them all I'm hearing from them is I, I, I because there is an emotion, there is a feeling. No you didn't ask to be here, but the mother didn't ask to be here either, the grandmother didn't ask to be here either, but we're all here and somebody's got to take care of the little ones in that typically falls on the mother and mistakes are made there's somebody that stays and that's typically the mother who's doing the best she can with what she's got and in quite a few circumstances there isn't much that she's got.
Then she should keep her legs closed. End of story.
The third girl projecting
Love, teach, protect your peace, and turn to God. I pray you and they have a foundation in The Creator.......
Matthew 10:34-37
34Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. 35For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. 36And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. 37He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
It all boils down to social media and outside influences.
This is so true. The cool thing is now to be 'no contact' with family.
U kids in this thread ( if u didn't say you got beat) I can tell you're the problem, not your parents smh a lot of u wouldn't have made it back in the day you'd be on the streets blaming your parents for not tolerating your disrespect and thinking u get to tell them what to do smh
All OF THESE PEOPLE NEED TO WATCH SOFT WHITE UNDERBELLY. YOU WILL SEE THE REAL DRUDGES OF LIFE THAT DIDNT DO NOTHING BUT LEAVE THEY KIDS IN THE SYSTEM. ALOT OF YALL NEED TO FORGIVE AND GET SOME THERAPY CAUSE WHEN YOU DONT FORGIVE YOUR PARENTS YOUR CHILDREN DONT FORGIVE YOU!! FORGIVE YOUR PARENTS FOR YOURSELF!!!❤❤❤❤❤
shut up
You have a huge amount of let down expectations built in what….
I talk to my mom several times a day because we live in different countries.