I found your videos in 2021 when I was in a psychiatric hospital. I had nearly given up on participating with the therapy group. Your videos answered so many questions and helped me understand things that had been frustrating me for over a decade. A lot of bad things has happened to me since, and I am more hurt and more disfunctional then before. But I am also wiser, and more hopeful. I feel stronger, and I know that i'm on the right path, and I know the direction I have to go. Today I watched this video. I had been watching a lot of dark videos, listening to some of the most horrible stories with a straight face, but clicking on your channel, going through the videos, I cried for the first time in a long time, overwhealmed by gratitute, reminiscing about sitting on the stairs of my ward and listening to your videos. And I thought to myself that I would like to hug you, because you are the one who helped me the most on my journey. I am smiling with tears in my eyes typing this.
You're on your way to recovery from the trauma you've been through by you continuing to listen to Patrick's videos. Know that you have so much potential and undeveloped skills that can be developed. Just keep building day by day through healing, and making your dreams a reality. You can do this.
Personally, I find Lennon's song "How?" the truest insight into his person. "How can I move forward if I don't know which way I'm facing?" "How can I have feelings if I don't know how to feel?" "How can I give love when I just don't know how to give?" It's so easy to externalize our feelings and attribute them to others when our feelings and experiences within a family unit are so often unconsidered, unapproved of or, outright denied. Hearing about how so many of his family members preferred to tell a revised account of family events is quite sad. I won't make any excuses for John Lennon, he had more opportunities to change his behavior than many. I can understand, though.
I am a Beatle fan. I remember when John was killed. I was 9, In between his sons' ages. I had my own childhood trauma and used to fantasize that one of the Beatles was really my dad and eventually they would come and take me away. I've done a lot of my own research and study on their music in their lives for years. I've learned a few things and gained some more insight from your video, Patrick. Very well researched and analyzed.
John's Aunt Mimi raised John for the most part. In interviews, I saw how she would denigrate his musical talent consistently. He hated his voice and when recording would always want to change the sound of it. She also spoke of how she still thought of him as a little boy, never supportive or even acknowledging the unbelievable success he achieved.
Similar life story of Tom Petty. His father abused him & years later wanted to be part of his fame. Tom did let his back in and hang around. Eric Clapton also abandoned by his mother, came back with two other children and left Eric again. Both icon's had addiction problems at some point in their lives. This too with john. Back then people didn't address what hurt, they had an outlet, their music on some level. We still have to work through it today. Thank you for the story. We are not alone. Work in progress.
John Lydon, too. He grew up in dire poverty and helped raise three younger brothers from an early age. He was poorly educated in Catholic schools, and when he was expelled at 15, he attended a college of further education to take O-Levels and then A-Levels. He said that was when his real education started.
Well you might well be able to choose, if you can recognise early the signs in your partner. If it's well masked, or not even conscious you may have it dealt upon you after you're attached. It might mean giving up trying with someone beautiful to you who has a fractured and confused understanding of attachment, communication, and peace. In a true commitment appreciation of "in sickness and health" it might brush up hard against being able to choose, and accepting the challenge of helping them. And with the journey of love being long and too hard to predict, how will you ensure you aren't so arduous to "have and to hold" at any time that your partner doesn't become similarly calculatingly self interested. My good friend has a wife who has developed MS. He didn't sign up for this specifically, but accepts that this is the challenge of his dedication. Is that beautiful or just sad? I don't think he's overly considering it because he doesn't calculate dedication. He's just dedicated.
Trauma bonding isn’t that. That’s what you call a toxic relationship. Trauma bonding is usually when you put two people who don’t like each other through a traumatic experience that makes them bond.
I always wondered why John made such a beautiful song for Sean, but not for Julian... this is all very sad. So much emotional pain and dysfunction in everyone's life.
Reminder: Lennon was a wife beater, abused his child and didn't defend his girlfriend from the vile attacks of those who didn't respect her as a human being. He is a fraud and not some enlightened "healer".
Julian is an amazing artist in his own right. His mother Cynthia was an artist too. John and Cynthia met in art school. When Cynthia was 17 her dad died tragically and when John was 17 his mother died tragically. Julian was 17 when John died tragically. Generational trauma age parallels are uncanny.
I didn’t know much about Lennon before this video, but was morbidly fascinated watching Get Back. I read it very clearly like a toxic family system: john is the parent who acts out and shirks duties, Paul is the codependent enabling parent who both resents and constantly enables john, George the child who acts out and rages at the codependent parent, ringo the silent child. I was really freaked out by John’s vibe. The way he mocked George’s only song contribution then waltzed mockingly with Yoko while they tried to practice it, the way Yoko would screech John’s name when he was talking with others. The way that Yoko was this silent, hostile presence, protecting and speaking for John, and John refused to compromise her not coming. Even the strange, silent Hare Krishna friend who sat in the back of the room. All of it deeply weird, hostile vibes from john. Really interesting video. Thank you!
Mother is a song that just froze me in my tracks when I first listened to it. To hear those lyrics really hit me to the core. So primal. What a gift he had to be able to put those deep deep emotions into words.
Wow. With Mother's Day approaching, this is one of the facts I've had to sit with. I hate that I have an emotionally detached/drunk "mother". Mother's day always stings
This is an important story my brother heard from an eye witness. A founder of the men's movement was giving a class on fathering in New York and one of the attendees walked up to him afterwards and introduced himself as John. He said he had really missed his chance to parent his first child and wanted all the advice he could get to do it right with the child he was expecting. Then another attendee asked for John's autograph and the speaker was surprised that it was John Lennon.
This longtime Beatles history nut had never once considered the notion that the network of mutually reinforcing dysfunctional relationships surrounding Lennon could've been on so extensive a scale; it makes for all the more insightful and accurate an assessment of the man as well as for all the more robust a lesson on what to watch out for in our own lives. Job well done, sir!
Reminder: Lennon was a wife beater, abused his child and didn't defend his girlfriend from the vile attacks of those who didn't respect her as a human being. He is a fraud and not some enlightened "healer".
It’s interesting you’re kind of apologizing for this “scenario”. I truly appreciate the insight you have and the ability to communicate it so well. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks, Patrick....very insightful and illuminating. Never been a Beatles fan and although he was no doubt extremely talented and creative...I found John Lennon to be caustic, sarcastic and often cruel. Now I understand him much better....he had a lot of childhood trauma/abandonment issues. So positive that we can now recognize and talk about this difficult and painful stuff.
He was a very complex person. He started out in that unfortunate childhood and became a small god while barely out of his teens, which was also a rather abusive environment, and he didn't necessarily have the resources to deal with it maturely. But he did, eventually, make huge strides, to the point that he recognized the huge platform he had and used it to try to make the world a better place. Which, sadly, is a lot easier to do than making amends to the people you hurt.... And he eventually made an effort to do that as well. I've always thought a lot of his worst behavior was based on magical thinking, as in, "I have all this power as a rock star, I ought to be able to use it to create a life where I'm not that insecure child anymore." Fantasy never really gives you what you want; and that makes you cranky and mean to other people. I often wonder what he would have done with the second 40 years.
@@Anonymous-dh2lt Lennon is fascinating for a lot of reasons, one of which is that you hear EVERYTHING about him. He was cruel but he was kind. He was caustic but he was very nice. He was sarcastic but he was earnest. Most people are too complex to be summarized well.
This video is kind of special to me bc when I was younger I used to disconnect and like cope with my life by listening to the Beatles and reading about them and now I'm learning more about psychology and childhood trauma and I don't really listen to music that much but this video is like a reminder for me that I'm doing better :)
☀️☀️ Thanks for Making this Video, Patrick. Men's mental health is often overlooked... Creating a really sad cycle where men just sit and fester with their issues and emotions. This definitely should be paid attention to.
Your passion for your craft is what makes your channel so compelling. I don't watch as many videos on CPTSD anymore but I will watch a Patrick Teahan on the weekly just as an exercise in maintenance. And as a lifelong Beatles fan, this was a great contribution to understanding, if understanding is at all possible, into the enigma that was John Lennon. Keep up the good work.
I've often said John Lennon probably would have continued taking responsibility for himself had he not been cut down so early.. both my parents didn't acknowledge accountability for neglectful parenting though a few days before my dad died in his 90s he told me he was sorry he was never there for me (totally unprodded. On his own.) Lennon is one of my heroes but even heroes have their flaws. Thanks Patrick for this series!
Much appreciated Patrick! So many influential and impactful members of John Lennons family. In describing his story it only just now made me realize how healing and enlightening the genogram can be. I stayed up last night doing mine own genogram and making some profound realizations. This after therapy and 8 good years of no contact with any of my family. Always learning from you! ❤
You might want to check out your astrological chart online too. I can't believe the insights it's given me. I had no idea how much you can glean from it. It's a blueprint of your life and your personality, and it can show you how others show up in your life too. It can be so much more than that but that's what I focus on and it gives good suggestions for issues we deal with too.
Very impressed with the consistency of your compassion for these people. In fact, I would say your compassion is just as powerful pulling together the narrative as the logic of your observations.
Dear Patrick, I loved this exercise a lot. I’m sure we read the same books, heard the same interviews but you managed to put the story in a different perspective. Very wise, very bold and you nailed it. I’m very greatful.
John started suffering from anorexia after hearing journalists refer to him as "the fat Beatle" around 1965, so I think he was extremely sensitive to what other people thought of him or said about him, even though he often put on the tough guy act.
I thank you for taking this topic while being careful with the extent of your expertise, and being kind both to Lenon and your clients while talking about their poor actions. It's really soothing to watch your videos because you say he hard truths with kindness, so I can both accept the ugly and not be scared of facing the ugly.
I'm a fellow Pisces too and I had a similar reaction as you did when I first heard 'Mother' by Lennon. My thinking when I hear that song is that for those of us who weren't treated right by our mothers, our feelings are universal. My sister told me my mother hated me from the first time she held me in her arms. I'm still processing my upbringing today in middle age. I saw a clip of John Lennon where he said he had lied in an interview about baking bread with Sean and enjoying doing domestic things with him. John was laughing about making it up to Yoko and he was saying something like, "Of course I was just telling them what they want to hear." And Yoko looked like she approved of this and was pleased with John for letting her in on what he was up to. Sorry to have to break that to you. That John sure was a heartbreaker and it seemed like he took delight in it. I had a hard time processing this myself because I was originally thinking along the same lines you were that he had changed. Abusers don't really change, they just learn how to appear more acceptable to others, and all the ones I know are pathological liars. This was a wonderful session on John Lennon. I really appreciate it because I love The Beatles' and John's music and I find his life to be fascinating, although quite tragic. And yes, I separate all the artists from their art. That's what works for me. Thank you Patrick, for helping us gain insight into our own issues and for helping us see ways we can possibly heal from them. 👍 🌟
I wrote you a long reply & lost it. Just wanted to say i agree with you wholeheartedly. I love you. As one human being to another. Unfortunate woman, your mother. BUT NOT YOU. You are heautiful & worth wholeness in healing right this moment. Message is for web surfer. Love,cNancy
Mother, you had me but I never had you Oh-oh-oh, I wanted you, you didn't want me So I, I gotta tell you Goodbye, goodbye Mother, you left me but I never left you Oh-oh-oh, I needed you, you didn't need me, oh no So I, I gotta tell you Goodbye, goodbye Children, don't do what I have done Oh-oh-oh, I couldn't walk, I tried to run So I gotta tell you Goodbye, goodbye Mother, you had me but I never had you Oh-oh-oh, I wanted you, you didn't want me So I gotta tell you Goodbye, goodbye Mama, don't go Daddy, come home Mama, don't go Daddy, come home I don't know how my father would have treated me-- but my mother treated me as a servant, never a child.
This was really good. So many stars , famous people come from abusive , abandoned, neglectful lives. At least the good ones sadly to say. Really good Patrick
John Lennon is my favourite Beatle because I identify with his trauma and he writes about it with such honesty and intensity in his music. It's amazing how many great artists have used their childhood trauma to fuel their creativity and genius, like Brian Wilson, Eminem and many others. A very interesting deep dive.
Thank you Patrick, this is fantastic and such a fabulous example of how the trauma gets unconsciously passed on. My father was a massive Lennon fan. He had a fractured, distant relationship with his own father who he was estranged from. He was raised by a strong (possibly smothering 🤷♀️) mother and her two sisters. He then went onto marry my Mother (wilful, unboundaried, manipulative, emotionally dysregulated and emotionally immature) and is now estranged from me. I think he saw himself as my mother’s rescuer. As the eldest daughter of four, I can relate to how Lennon’s first son, Julian felt, in that a strong woman has seemingly influenced his father and taken him away. I struggle to reconcile that because in other areas of his life, my father, like Lennon does as he pleases and doesn’t have any issues saying no or standing up for himself. It’s just with my mother that he can’t. It gives me deep insight into my parents and their relationship. Thank you for your brilliant work. PS I live in Weybridge about 10 minutes from where Lennon lived.
I really enjoyed this. BTW, by any chance you could do an episode about Marvin Gaye? He really experienced childhood trauma, and all of it stemmed from his father. Sadly, that trauma caused his death. It would also be great to talk about Karen Carpenter and also Michael Jackson.
I really enjoyed this thank you Patrick. I didn’t really know about John Lennon so this was fascinating. It really helps to understand what’s healthy and what’s not and the ramifications. I loved what your mentor asked…”I wonder where he learned that from?” That’s a great question. It keeps us curious and able to withhold judgment enough to learn from people. Thanks again.
And is it just me that was obsessed with songs in my teenage years - ones I didn’t fully lyrically understand, but YEARS after listening to the song for the first time again, it’s like it was the words you’ve been searching for this whole time ?
What a great and illuminative video (again)! Thank you for all this work, Patrick! When thinking of the difficult life of celebrities, poor Marilyn Monroe crosses my mind and the awful childhood she had. And yet, she had the greatest success maybe ever. Perhaps she is worth having a deeper inside in one of your next videos of this category? Thank you again for all your incredible work!
Some people speculate she was on the autism spectrum and was really good at masking, and she struggled with asexuality despite her sex symbol image. She also miscarried several times, and said she felt like she didn’t have a single real friend in the world.
@@cecilyerker Yes, I heard about that, too. Also that she might have been the first presidential model, a victim of MK Ultra mind control. So an US government sex slave.
Check out the book Weird Scene Laurel Canyon. It is about music and the deep state. All this fame and success is at the whim of the deep state, mind control and being a puppet.
Would really be grateful if you could do videos focusing on these topics: -Anxiety and PTSD (it's generic but you could choose what you'd like to talk about) - How childhood trauma manifests in your career/work life, and how to navigate anxiety/issues at work.
Its best to work through trauma and learn to mitigate triggers so that we can be anxiety free anywhere and everywhere!! Breathing exercises before prayers to paper is the fastest and most effective method that can be utilized anywhere anytime
Very interesting and very educational. Just goes to show how complex Life is. You have helped so much in understanding childhood trauma and how it plays out. Thank you for the way you explain it all. Makes it so relatable
Cynthia Lennon’s biography is by far the most honest story of John’s abuse, I have read probably six John Lennon biographies and none of them tell the story likes Cynthia
Interesting video. I was briefly a fan back in the 90s during college…but after learning of John’s behavior towards Julian, I could no longer be a fan. This scenario related too much to what my younger self lived through. My father was revered by the public and no one knew how he behaved behind closed doors to his children. And those that knew, remained quiet. He was somehow excused for being creative and that he also had a difficult past. Personally, I am tired of the way society continues to prop up abusers despite their talents. Why do we separate them into different compartments like this and only see the good?
My grandmother tortured and abuse 3 generations of her blood. In the end stages of life no one would come to her aide understandably aside from my son and I. When her case worker called me from the hospital she was shocked I existed because she refused to tell anyone she had family. When she died, a lot of people were either shocked we existed or would tell us how much she loved us and no one said a word. Like you said, no one knew how she was behind closed doors and the level of evil she dished out to her own. Such a bizarre experience I must say. To this day, a few of her friends still call me to check on me and tell me how much she loved me. I promised the next time they called to put a stop to it because they are deceived and delusional to the truth of the matter and frankly sick of hearing how loving and a pillar she was to others and not her own blood.
I think there is a lot of this in the world 😢. Patrick did another video of John Adams who was an absent father in order to attend the creating of this nation events. Traveling 🧳 took months back then! Adams had an alcoholic son who was scorned and left to die alone and penniless. No personal responsibility 😮or genetic responsibility for the illness!! 😢😢😢😮😮
This was fabulous on so many levels. Thank you for all the work you did in putting this together. Even gave me some ideas of how I can talk to my own children, now young adults, about generational trauma and the mistakes I’ve made. I’d love to see a video about how to have that conversation. Thank you again for putting this together. You are beyond generous!
Wow, you tackled the mother lode of complex childhood trauma! Excellent video! I love and feel for John while not excusing some of his actions. Could he have exhibited borderline personality disorder which tracks with his childhood trauma of abandonment and explains his explosive anger and constant jealousy? I think Yoko may have used the search for Kyoko to get John out of England and to the US, far from his family and friends where she could strategically “manage” him - along with his fortune. And I wonder if Yoko influenced John to strip his soul bare through primal scream therapy so she’d know his every weakness. John called her “Mother.” That explains a LOT.
Thank you so much for this - talking about John as a complex human being. He is someone I admire much as a musician because he and I have been through so many similar things as kids that his music speaks to me. (Mother is a tough one to listen to!) I get tired of him being demonized and called names (wife-beater). As I learned about CPTSD (which I also suffer from, of course), his symptoms have become clear to me, and your analysis is brilliant and very compassionate. I'd be curious to hear you analyze "TheJohnAndYoko" - perceived as the ideal fusional couple but in reality, a relationship not without unhealthy aspects. Yoko was both a positive (she made him understand and respect women better) and negative (she apparently filtered all phone calls and isolated him from friends and family) on John. I'm sure Yoko carried her own childhood trauma. Thanks again for this video.
Patrick, I admire the depth & breadth of your researching & presenting our CPTSD experiences and explanations of why. Your portrayal of all the Lennon marriages, affairs, unkind exiting, background motives, set up behaviors really asked me to look more honestly at the trauma injuries I left in the wakes of ending my two marriages. There are always so many confluent perspectives on how & why (& then, the unknown truths), we join & then blow it apart. The human condition is fascinating, and I'm a little tired of it now. 😝
Well damn!😯 That was as tough to listen to as I thought it'd be... & even more fascinating! I listened intently the whole way through, even though most details I knew previously. I've been a Beatles fan since childhood, & love John's solo work even more. (I also enjoyed hearing about teenage Patrick discovering rock n roll, especially as I too am a Dylan fan, & bigtime SP fan😊) You ended the video w/ my very favorite quote/ song lyric, for 20+ yrs now. I think his story is ultimately a hopeful one. Fantastic video!
I’d always liked The Beatles but didn’t get into the lore until Backbeat came out. All of the guys in my band went together and for years I still had the 7” they were handing out (My Bonnie w/Tony Sheridan and Cry For A Shadow). Nowhere Boy, the biography of Lennon’s childhood is a harder watch but fills in a lot of gaps about why he struggled with adult responsibilities.
Blaming Yoko Ono for breaking up the Beattles makes me think of scapegoating. And it's interesting to me that they chose a woman to scapegoat when John Lennon sounds like he was self-destructive in his own right and the public knew that
I hope he was able to have a good relationship with his mom, Cynthia and go on to have a meaningful life. He seemed to. Good 👍 guy - I was connected to him on FB.
Wow, absolutely fascinating! When you go to Harvard for your lecture you need to start doing case studies there as well. The fact you put this on you tube is a gift. Along with the Adam’s one just spectacular! Job well done Patrick!!
Oh, that is so nice to hear you talking about music´s influence on you! 💖💖 I guess people with abusive family background tend to rely on meaningful music a lot. I did that so so much! Surely because I didn´t have a real person I could talk to, there was simply noone left. I tried to talk to a man midtwenties I think when I was 15, just now had lost my father to cancer, and my brother became more and more threatening, choleric, sadistic. The man studied special education, very punky-gothicy viking type, black dyed iro, red beard, blue eyes, gosh I had a crush on him for years and never told him oc and he never understood. XD Anyway he said I can dial a hotline for sth, domestic violance maybe that I never considered afterwards, it was just so out of reach for me. But he lend me the first albums of Tori Amos who became my absolute fave songwriter for decades and is acually part of my username on most platforms. I held on to her music like "Silent all the years" and such things. It helped me to survive like later on other mostly female singers like Tracy Chapman, Jewel etc. Sadly it couldn´t prevent me from becoming assaulted very late in life, when I thought starting to date again would stabilize me in a time where I fought for a professional degree/reeducation and the pressure of the pandemic weighed heavy on me on top of that. Idk maybe I´m just not armed enough for this world, but I really appreciate your work here and those of others who fight for us to provide us with the foundations of knowledge about all this stuff around childhood trauma and how to start recovering!!! 💝💝
@@websurfer5772 Thank you very much!😊😊 I give my best to learn how I can recover and better care for myself. Its just a lot. Today I actually read a funny word play that I like to remember. In the contexts of abusive family systems they often call the blamed and rejectd person a "scapegoat", but today in a comment section someone called herself the "escapegoat"! I found that super funny! I´m the escapegoat! 😂😂😊😊
Very thoughtful and insightful analysis. I am a lifelong Beatles fan and when he died I was almost 15 years old. I have done a geary deal of research and reading over the years. John seemed to be all things, insightful and oblivious, kind and cutting, a conscientious father and husband and an abusive one. I also believe he had capacity for insight and was coming to that in big strides when he was murdered. Yoko did not break up the Beatles. But I find it difficult to forget how cruel she was to Julian. Both before John's death but especially afterward. So much money in the estate and she fought tooth and nail to keep Julian marginalized and out of it. Anyway... I truly enjoyed your perspective on this.
Hi Patrick, I love your content. Please don't feel compelled to have to find new subjects, it's always worth revisiting topics because they are so expansive full of insight and you do a great job explaining subject matter in a way that provides access to recovery. Thanks
I listened to the podcast and just wanted to say that I love that you upload both the youtube video version and just the audio because it makes it super convenient to access at any time
Excellent work Patrick. A little caveat: Lennon moved somewhat in to a more radical and ‘revolutionary’ headspace later in his life. His banned song ‘Working class hero’ shows this a bit, as well later his work with socialist theorists: e.g the focu theory. Etc. I think,your biogenetic analysis was spot on. I think it is difficult to analyze these media stars. For them to even maintain a general human perspective is especially difficult for people like John. It is interesting that George Harrison went down a similar path with his first wife. He regretted this later. Yet Harrison gave us the Willbury’s. I love your podcasts. I watch them religiously. I’m 80 years old and believe it or not, I am going through a tough 6 year marriage breakup that never really gets resolved between the two of us. You put so much effort into each podcast with so much care and knowledge. Your role plays with Amanda are fabulous. I learn so much from these. I too come from a very neglectful family system with a nasty divorce and an insane remarriage by my mother. And, now my marriage after 50 years of togetherness burst apart at the seams. I really appreciate the thought and effort that goes into your podcasts. Your rooting for the inner-often Lost child-is heartwarming. When I first went into therapy some five years ago I used freak out when the therapist would say you need to love yourself. I had no idea what she was talking about. Or when she asked me about my needs: again I thought ‘what needs?’. I am trying to re jig my emotional and mental engines, but believe me it’s a slow process. Most of the time I think I go one step forward and two steps back. Anyway, thanks for the great work you are doing. Keep it up and god bless you. Michael Naemsch Dec 2023
Makes sense. Much great art - especially music - comes from deep rooted pain. And the insight & perspective gained from it in the creative process, perhaps in John's case. I'm saddened by his back story & for the neg impact on loved ones, yet deeply appreciate his songwriting contributions. Tragically beautiful. He spoke volumes with it & impacted many. Great insight into the how & why, Patrick.
This was filled with insight, I've been getting a lot out of the e-course work with the Genogram. This talk was especially interesting to me. I shared it with a dear friend - we've been sharing thoughts about J. Lennon for many years. I'd like to know if you could do an analysis of David Bowie's life. There are some parallels between his first attempt to be a parent, and then a happier family later in his life. In 2002, he did a show for cable TV and spoke candidly about his role as a father, and his creative work. I know very little about his first wife, and almost nothing about Iman, but the photos of them together show that same soul mate feeling that John and Yoko shared. Thank you, Patrick.
Nice job, Patrick.I knew some of the background of John Lennon because I have always been a huge Beatles fan. I have all of john's post Beatles albums as well as Mccartney's and Harrisons. You did teach me a lot about the background of johns parents relationships Which is very interesting and does explain a lot of his behavior. I would have loved to have seen him grow old. He was certainly maturing And Sadly his life was cut short. I continue to pray for His soul as well as George Harrisons' soul. Praying God gave them the grace to repent before dying.
Patrick, as a fellow Piscean, it is very difficult to be a Pisces when you grow up in New England. Thanks for the work you do that I find so relatable and helpful to decode parts of my past. Now I know why I hear you so clearly and find it so insightful personally. ♓️🌸❤️
I discovered you only a week ago on a long drive, as you popped up among the healing gurus I already listen to. Yes I have subscribed. Of course!🎉 I also was born on October 9, 1970. I was born on John Lennon‘s birthday and on his son Sean‘s birthday I have been ineffably tied to them, since, and somehow experienced the same dynamics as John and I find this very special in my heart that you made this video… thank you. Also, I never realized that the very songs I was singing, while listening to John Lennon about the pain in his childhood, were also about the pain in my childhood. ❤ you are the most knowledgeable therapist I have ever come across, and I am full of gratitude for you and your wisdom, and your knowledge and your application and your understanding from all angles, seemingly. I can’t wait to listen to this one . But I am about to listen to a message from the crappy childhood fairy first. Hugs to all healers, and hugs to all. 🤗We are one. Also, even though I grew up in Indiana, my favorite team was the Red Sox . Still is. Now we know I was meant to hear this :-)
When you said about Julia staying with the abusive partner, because of feeling of failure in her life really opened my eyes and realized why I am staying in a emotional, verbally abusive narcissist husband. Omg! I had an A HA moment! This one really opened my eyes about everything that made us who we are. It explains a lot! I am learning so much watching your videos. Thank you!
Thank you so much for the insight! Dissonance can be difficult to recognize in oneself and taking the time to acknowledge and work through is important to do.
Well done, Patrick. I've read every book ever written about Lennon and was fascinated by him from age 14 when the Beatles burst onto the music scene. Unfortunately, the more I learned, the more puzzled I became. He was a fascinating and complex man. I wonder what he would have evolved into given a proper life span.
whenever i get too deep in my own head, i come to this channel. pulls me right back out because its so nice to hear an educated person speak from experience so clearly and relatably. thanks dude, youre keeping me sane lmao
This was so interesting. John was really telling on himself in “Getting Better,” huh? “I used to be cruel to my woman, I beat her and kept her apart from the things that she loved.” When I was a kid those lines were so troubling to me that I just “decided” that he was writing from the POV of a made-up character, not himself. When Patrick told his story in the beginning about going into Boston to buy music, I figured he was going to mention Newbury Comics. The way my heart leapt when he name-checked Nuggets instead! 😊
I know it is again another British songwriter but I woulk like to hear you on David Bowie. This artist undoubtedly suffered from childhood trauma with a distant and absent mother. As a teenager I could relate to the feeling of loneliness conveyed in many of his songs. Recently I listened to his first wife Angela talking about how he behaved with her, their son and also the musicians. This was really insightful.
Very interesting and it was food for my soul. It's good to know he went through similar trauma and even created some trauma of his own because of not being healed up and it helps to see him and myself and others as just flawed human beings.
This is highly informative and so important ! I love this analysis, I grew up obsessed with The Beatles and in particular, John’s tricky and heavy childhood. I hope you continue this series, it’s really brilliant !
I always thought that John Lennon was a covert narcissist. He has all of the makings of one including abusing or abandoning people in his path and putting on a grandiose humanitarian facade.
He's showing on my radar as being like that as well - or a community narcissist, who looks great to the public but behind closed doors is...a narcissist. It does not sound like he lost control of himself on occasions then felt bad about it latter/tried to do something about it in future, it sounds like he never had control. Had no idea before now. But that's community narcissists for you.
I was 10 when this came out as a 45 B side. I hadn't yet figured out I was adopted. This song spoke to me in a way I couldn't understand. I didn't understand why my Mom was so freaked out by it (bless her!). It is still a song that speaks to me.
I am delighted to hear Julian came out of that trauma. I think he was the one that was inflicted the most. From the early part of the story, she slept with that other guy. Two wrongs don't make a right.
I found your videos in 2021 when I was in a psychiatric hospital. I had nearly given up on participating with the therapy group. Your videos answered so many questions and helped me understand things that had been frustrating me for over a decade.
A lot of bad things has happened to me since, and I am more hurt and more disfunctional then before. But I am also wiser, and more hopeful. I feel stronger, and I know that i'm on the right path, and I know the direction I have to go.
Today I watched this video. I had been watching a lot of dark videos, listening to some of the most horrible stories with a straight face, but clicking on your channel, going through the videos, I cried for the first time in a long time, overwhealmed by gratitute, reminiscing about sitting on the stairs of my ward and listening to your videos. And I thought to myself that I would like to hug you, because you are the one who helped me the most on my journey. I am smiling with tears in my eyes typing this.
Oh gosh, this is so touching... thank you for sharing this part of your story!!! 😳😳😊😊
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I know what you mean I benefit from this very much. Thanks
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You're on your way to recovery from the trauma you've been through by you continuing to listen to Patrick's videos. Know that you have so much potential and undeveloped skills that can be developed. Just keep building day by day through healing, and making your dreams a reality. You can do this.
Personally, I find Lennon's song "How?" the truest insight into his person. "How can I move forward if I don't know which way I'm facing?" "How can I have feelings if I don't know how to feel?" "How can I give love when I just don't know how to give?" It's so easy to externalize our feelings and attribute them to others when our feelings and experiences within a family unit are so often unconsidered, unapproved of or, outright denied. Hearing about how so many of his family members preferred to tell a revised account of family events is quite sad. I won't make any excuses for John Lennon, he had more opportunities to change his behavior than many. I can understand, though.
Wow 🤩 ❤❤❤❤❤❤
I love that this series focuses on men - really helpful to add context to people who are so often not allowed weakness, or an emotional life.
I agree. ❤
I am a Beatle fan. I remember when John was killed. I was 9, In between his sons' ages. I had my own childhood trauma and used to fantasize that one of the Beatles was really my dad and eventually they would come and take me away.
I've done a lot of my own research and study on their music in their lives for years. I've learned a few things and gained some more insight from your video, Patrick.
Very well researched and analyzed.
I am around your age. I get it. 😢 ❤❤❤❤
George would have made the best dad. 😂❤
John's Aunt Mimi raised John for the most part. In interviews, I saw how she would denigrate his musical talent consistently. He hated his voice and when recording would always want to change the sound of it. She also spoke of how she still thought of him as a little boy, never supportive or even acknowledging the unbelievable success he achieved.
His aunt mimi was something of a narcissist..so it appears.
Mimi seems to have been able to synthesize vinegar.
@@personalmail2335 A Grandiose Narcissist I'd imagine...
@@jeffkitson9565 That's the lack of religion, coupled with low education and low financial standing that created the Mimis.
@@personalmail2335A Mrs Bucket type more concerned with outward appearances than other people's feelings.
Similar life story of Tom Petty. His father abused him & years later wanted to be part of his fame. Tom did let his back in and hang around.
Eric Clapton also abandoned by his mother, came back with two other children and left Eric again. Both icon's had addiction problems at some point in their lives.
This too with john.
Back then people didn't address what hurt, they had an outlet, their music on some level.
We still have to work through it today. Thank you for the story.
We are not alone. Work in progress.
Keith Richards too....same kind of thing.
That’s interesting
John Lydon, too. He grew up in dire poverty and helped raise three younger brothers from an early age. He was poorly educated in Catholic schools, and when he was expelled at 15, he attended a college of further education to take O-Levels and then A-Levels. He said that was when his real education started.
Interesting 😮thank you for sharing.
You may find the boon Weird Scene Laurel Canyon interesting. 🧐
I want healthy real love relationships, not trauma bonds.
Well you might well be able to choose, if you can recognise early the signs in your partner. If it's well masked, or not even conscious you may have it dealt upon you after you're attached. It might mean giving up trying with someone beautiful to you who has a fractured and confused understanding of attachment, communication, and peace. In a true commitment appreciation of "in sickness and health" it might brush up hard against being able to choose, and accepting the challenge of helping them. And with the journey of love being long and too hard to predict, how will you ensure you aren't so arduous to "have and to hold" at any time that your partner doesn't become similarly calculatingly self interested. My good friend has a wife who has developed MS. He didn't sign up for this specifically, but accepts that this is the challenge of his dedication. Is that beautiful or just sad? I don't think he's overly considering it because he doesn't calculate dedication. He's just dedicated.
amen
That's sexism.
Trauma bonding isn’t that. That’s what you call a toxic relationship. Trauma bonding is usually when you put two people who don’t like each other through a traumatic experience that makes them bond.
@@terrance.417what's sexism king?
I always wondered why John made such a beautiful song for Sean, but not for Julian... this is all very sad. So much emotional pain and dysfunction in everyone's life.
It's so heartbreaking. 😪
Lennon wrote the song “Goodnight” from the Beatles White Album for Julian. Same theme as Beautiful Boy that he wrote for Sean.
@@ryban1001 I didn't know that. I just listened to it. What a sweet, soothing song. Thank you for telling us.
wasn’t “hey Jude” written for Julian?
@@tamquamalteridem Paul wrote Hey Jude.
Yes, there's no doubt he caused trauma in his children. Paul wrote a song for his son and John thought it was for him! Very self absorbed man.
What is his son up to these days?
Reminder: Lennon was a wife beater, abused his child and didn't defend his girlfriend from the vile attacks of those who didn't respect her as a human being. He is a fraud and not some enlightened "healer".
Julian is an amazing artist in his own right. His mother Cynthia was an artist too. John and Cynthia met in art school. When Cynthia was 17 her dad died tragically and when John was 17 his mother died tragically. Julian was 17 when John died tragically. Generational trauma age parallels are uncanny.
Because he hadnt recovered from his own trauma yet.
@@AvsFan32Julian has been doing music and recently released a great album, he is a photographer and humanitarian
Thank you for volunteering your time to help us, grateful.
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I didn’t know much about Lennon before this video, but was morbidly fascinated watching Get Back. I read it very clearly like a toxic family system: john is the parent who acts out and shirks duties, Paul is the codependent enabling parent who both resents and constantly enables john, George the child who acts out and rages at the codependent parent, ringo the silent child.
I was really freaked out by John’s vibe. The way he mocked George’s only song contribution then waltzed mockingly with Yoko while they tried to practice it, the way Yoko would screech John’s name when he was talking with others. The way that Yoko was this silent, hostile presence, protecting and speaking for John, and John refused to compromise her not coming. Even the strange, silent Hare Krishna friend who sat in the back of the room. All of it deeply weird, hostile vibes from john.
Really interesting video. Thank you!
George was also like the parent who would say “now, now, we all need to get along. Behave. “
Mother is a song that just froze me in my tracks when I first listened to it. To hear those lyrics really hit me to the core. So primal. What a gift he had to be able to put those deep deep emotions into words.
Primal scream therapy - “Mother you had me but I never had you. I wanted you but you didn’t want me”
This is one of the only reminders that l apparently had a mother. It was locally alleged at the time.
Wow. With Mother's Day approaching, this is one of the facts I've had to sit with. I hate that I have an emotionally detached/drunk "mother". Mother's day always stings
My mother died last year ruclips.net/video/veNMDW7cgEs/видео.html
😔
I feel this to my soul.
This is an important story my brother heard from an eye witness. A founder of the men's movement was giving a class on fathering in New York and one of the attendees walked up to him afterwards and introduced himself as John. He said he had really missed his chance to parent his first child and wanted all the advice he could get to do it right with the child he was expecting. Then another attendee asked for John's autograph and the speaker was surprised that it was John Lennon.
Wow. Thanks for sharing that.
Yes, it's a well known story by Warren Farrell who wrote The Boy Crisis. He is also a lovely man like Patrick.
😮 ❤❤❤. 🙏 Thanks for sharing. Sweet story!!
This longtime Beatles history nut had never once considered the notion that the network of mutually reinforcing dysfunctional relationships surrounding Lennon could've been on so extensive a scale; it makes for all the more insightful and accurate an assessment of the man as well as for all the more robust a lesson on what to watch out for in our own lives. Job well done, sir!
The perspective and analysis of generational trauma with the Lennons is appreciated. Thank you 🙏
I am so looking forward to this., Patrick.
Nothing about John Lennon was ordinary. He was definitely one of us.
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Reminder: Lennon was a wife beater, abused his child and didn't defend his girlfriend from the vile attacks of those who didn't respect her as a human being. He is a fraud and not some enlightened "healer".
It’s interesting you’re kind of apologizing for this “scenario”. I truly appreciate the insight you have and the ability to communicate it so well. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks, Patrick....very insightful and illuminating. Never been a Beatles fan and although he was no doubt extremely talented and creative...I found John Lennon to be caustic, sarcastic and often cruel. Now I understand him much better....he had a lot of childhood trauma/abandonment issues. So positive that we can now recognize and talk about this difficult and painful stuff.
Watch "A Hard Day's Night." It's wonderful. The music isn't bad, either.
He was a very complex person. He started out in that unfortunate childhood and became a small god while barely out of his teens, which was also a rather abusive environment, and he didn't necessarily have the resources to deal with it maturely. But he did, eventually, make huge strides, to the point that he recognized the huge platform he had and used it to try to make the world a better place. Which, sadly, is a lot easier to do than making amends to the people you hurt.... And he eventually made an effort to do that as well. I've always thought a lot of his worst behavior was based on magical thinking, as in, "I have all this power as a rock star, I ought to be able to use it to create a life where I'm not that insecure child anymore." Fantasy never really gives you what you want; and that makes you cranky and mean to other people. I often wonder what he would have done with the second 40 years.
Thanks for finding the words: 'caustic, sarcastic and often cruel.' I never understood why people went all (dissociative?) and called him peaceful.
@@Anonymous-dh2lt Lennon is fascinating for a lot of reasons, one of which is that you hear EVERYTHING about him. He was cruel but he was kind. He was caustic but he was very nice. He was sarcastic but he was earnest. Most people are too complex to be summarized well.
@@bobtaylor170. You're welcome to find him fascinating.
This video is kind of special to me bc when I was younger I used to disconnect and like cope with my life by listening to the Beatles and reading about them and now I'm learning more about psychology and childhood trauma and I don't really listen to music that much but this video is like a reminder for me that I'm doing better :)
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☀️☀️ Thanks for Making this Video, Patrick. Men's mental health is often overlooked... Creating a really sad cycle where men just sit and fester with their issues and emotions. This definitely should be paid attention to.
❤❤❤❤😢😢😢. true.
But, too often men turn their shame and hurt into bullying and abuse. 😢😢😢😢😢
Your passion for your craft is what makes your channel so compelling. I don't watch as many videos on CPTSD anymore but I will watch a Patrick Teahan on the weekly just as an exercise in maintenance. And as a lifelong Beatles fan, this was a great contribution to understanding, if understanding is at all possible, into the enigma that was John Lennon. Keep up the good work.
❤❤❤❤❤. He is a gem 💎!!!! 😊😊
He is 5 years younger than me and I wish I found him professionally when I was quite young!!! ❤❤❤❤
I've often said John Lennon probably would have continued taking responsibility for himself had he not been cut down so early.. both my parents didn't acknowledge accountability for neglectful parenting though a few days before my dad died in his 90s he told me he was sorry he was never there for me (totally unprodded. On his own.) Lennon is one of my heroes but even heroes have their flaws. Thanks Patrick for this series!
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Yes, the lack of accountability really has done a number on us.
Such a great series. Really looking forward to this
Much appreciated Patrick! So many influential and impactful members of John Lennons family. In describing his story it only just now made me realize how healing and enlightening the genogram can be.
I stayed up last night doing mine own genogram and making some profound realizations. This after therapy and 8 good years of no contact with any of my family. Always learning from you! ❤
You might want to check out your astrological chart online too. I can't believe the insights it's given me. I had no idea how much you can glean from it. It's a blueprint of your life and your personality, and it can show you how others show up in your life too. It can be so much more than that but that's what I focus on and it gives good suggestions for issues we deal with too.
Checking online census and newspapers can also give insight to our family's lives. Online family trees may already have some of this research.
@Sam Stone thanks so much! There are gaps in my information and this tip could help me out!
@@andrayoung4890 Be warned, family research can become addictive :)
@@websurfer5772I wish I understood how to read mine more 😮😮
Very impressed with the consistency of your compassion for these people. In fact, I would say your compassion is just as powerful pulling together the narrative as the logic of your observations.
I love this series 😭 this hour just flew by. What a gift. Thank you ♥
Dear Patrick, I loved this exercise a lot. I’m sure we read the same books, heard the same interviews but you managed to put the story in a different perspective. Very wise, very bold and you nailed it. I’m very greatful.
John started suffering from anorexia after hearing journalists refer to him as "the fat Beatle" around 1965, so I think he was extremely sensitive to what other people thought of him or said about him, even though he often put on the tough guy act.
I'd love to see more of these types of videos. So interesting. Love the objectivity.
I grew up in a family where special relationships were prevalent. Your video helped me to detach. Thst is life changing. Thank you
Me too!! Thank you ❤❤❤
Thank you for more of an insight into the man than any biography I have read on him. All the best🫡👍🏻
I thank you for taking this topic while being careful with the extent of your expertise, and being kind both to Lenon and your clients while talking about their poor actions. It's really soothing to watch your videos because you say he hard truths with kindness, so I can both accept the ugly and not be scared of facing the ugly.
I'm a fellow Pisces too and I had a similar reaction as you did when I first heard 'Mother' by Lennon. My thinking when I hear that song is that for those of us who weren't treated right by our mothers, our feelings are universal. My sister told me my mother hated me from the first time she held me in her arms. I'm still processing my upbringing today in middle age.
I saw a clip of John Lennon where he said he had lied in an interview about baking bread with Sean and enjoying doing domestic things with him. John was laughing about making it up to Yoko and he was saying something like, "Of course I was just telling them what they want to hear." And Yoko looked like she approved of this and was pleased with John for letting her in on what he was up to. Sorry to have to break that to you. That John sure was a heartbreaker and it seemed like he took delight in it. I had a hard time processing this myself because I was originally thinking along the same lines you were that he had changed. Abusers don't really change, they just learn how to appear more acceptable to others, and all the ones I know are pathological liars.
This was a wonderful session on John Lennon. I really appreciate it because I love The Beatles' and John's music and I find his life to be fascinating, although quite tragic. And yes, I separate all the artists from their art. That's what works for me.
Thank you Patrick, for helping us gain insight into our own issues and for helping us see ways we can possibly heal from them. 👍 🌟
I wrote you a long reply & lost it. Just wanted to say i agree with you wholeheartedly. I love you. As one human being to another. Unfortunate woman, your mother. BUT NOT YOU. You are heautiful & worth wholeness in healing right this moment. Message is for web surfer. Love,cNancy
@@Nanukie Thank you so much, cNancy. Your response feels really good to hear. Love to you too, Dear. 💖
Mother, you had me but I never had you
Oh-oh-oh, I wanted you, you didn't want me
So I, I gotta tell you
Goodbye, goodbye
Mother, you left me but I never left you
Oh-oh-oh, I needed you, you didn't need me, oh no
So I, I gotta tell you
Goodbye, goodbye
Children, don't do what I have done
Oh-oh-oh, I couldn't walk, I tried to run
So I gotta tell you
Goodbye, goodbye
Mother, you had me but I never had you
Oh-oh-oh, I wanted you, you didn't want me
So I gotta tell you
Goodbye, goodbye
Mama, don't go
Daddy, come home
Mama, don't go
Daddy, come home
I don't know how my father would have treated me-- but my mother treated me as a servant, never a child.
A fellow pisces here is agreeing with you! Been through similar stuff.
@@bearketamin I don't remember anymore, but if you just Google what you're looking for you should be able to find it. You might have to go to 🦆🦆 go.
This was really good. So many stars , famous people come from abusive , abandoned, neglectful lives. At least the good ones sadly to say. Really good Patrick
John Lennon is my favourite Beatle because I identify with his trauma and he writes about it with such honesty and intensity in his music. It's amazing how many great artists have used their childhood trauma to fuel their creativity and genius, like Brian Wilson, Eminem and many others. A very interesting deep dive.
Beauty rising from the ashes. ❤
Mile Tyson too
@@NF40375will smith’s gay lover. ❤
Thank you Patrick, this is fantastic and such a fabulous example of how the trauma gets unconsciously passed on. My father was a massive Lennon fan. He had a fractured, distant relationship with his own father who he was estranged from. He was raised by a strong (possibly smothering 🤷♀️) mother and her two sisters. He then went onto marry my Mother (wilful, unboundaried, manipulative, emotionally dysregulated and emotionally immature) and is now estranged from me. I think he saw himself as my mother’s rescuer.
As the eldest daughter of four, I can relate to how Lennon’s first son, Julian felt, in that a strong woman has seemingly influenced his father and taken him away. I struggle to reconcile that because in other areas of his life, my father, like Lennon does as he pleases and doesn’t have any issues saying no or standing up for himself. It’s just with my mother that he can’t.
It gives me deep insight into my parents and their relationship. Thank you for your brilliant work. PS I live in Weybridge about 10 minutes from where Lennon lived.
Patrick, wow! I truly appreciate your insight! Thank you so very much!!! This is such an interesting and enlightening discussion!
I really enjoyed this. BTW, by any chance you could do an episode about Marvin Gaye? He really experienced childhood trauma, and all of it stemmed from his father. Sadly, that trauma caused his death.
It would also be great to talk about Karen Carpenter and also Michael Jackson.
Yes. All three of these would be so helpful.
Mike Tyson too
@@NF40375will smith is his gay lover
Yes , 🙌 Karen Carpenter 😢😢😢😢😢😢
Amanda Ellis channels them and did a great job of going into their childhoods 😢😢😢😢
I really enjoyed this thank you Patrick. I didn’t really know about John Lennon so this was fascinating. It really helps to understand what’s healthy and what’s not and the ramifications.
I loved what your mentor asked…”I wonder where he learned that from?”
That’s a great question. It keeps us curious and able to withhold judgment enough to learn from people.
Thanks again.
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And is it just me that was obsessed with songs in my teenage years - ones I didn’t fully lyrically understand, but YEARS after listening to the song for the first time again, it’s like it was the words you’ve been searching for this whole time ?
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WOW!! This is going to be good! I'm really looking forward to watching this. I'm sure it will be very thought provoking.
What a great and illuminative video (again)! Thank you for all this work, Patrick!
When thinking of the difficult life of celebrities, poor Marilyn Monroe crosses my mind and the awful childhood she had. And yet, she had the greatest success maybe ever. Perhaps she is worth having a deeper inside in one of your next videos of this category? Thank you again for all your incredible work!
Some people speculate she was on the autism spectrum and was really good at masking, and she struggled with asexuality despite her sex symbol image. She also miscarried several times, and said she felt like she didn’t have a single real friend in the world.
@@cecilyerker Yes, I heard about that, too. Also that she might have been the first presidential model, a victim of MK Ultra mind control. So an US government sex slave.
Check out the book Weird Scene Laurel Canyon. It is about music and the deep state.
All this fame and success is at the whim of the deep state, mind control and being a puppet.
Would really be grateful if you could do videos focusing on these topics:
-Anxiety and PTSD (it's generic but you could choose what you'd like to talk about)
- How childhood trauma manifests in your career/work life, and how to navigate anxiety/issues at work.
Its best to work through trauma and learn to mitigate triggers so that we can be anxiety free anywhere and everywhere!!
Breathing exercises before prayers to paper is the fastest and most effective method that can be utilized anywhere anytime
And shame vs vulnerability ❤❤❤😢😢😢
Very interesting and very educational. Just goes to show how complex Life is. You have helped so much in understanding childhood trauma and how it plays out. Thank you for the way you explain it all. Makes it so relatable
Cynthia Lennon’s biography is by far the most honest story of John’s abuse, I have read probably six John Lennon biographies and none of them tell the story likes Cynthia
Wow 😮
John and George were my favorites of the Beatles. I was devastated when John's life was taken. Thankyou for all that you do Mr Teahan ❤
This is fantastic. I thought I knew quite a bit about trauma and about Lennon, but I learned about both. Great analysis!
Interesting video. I was briefly a fan back in the 90s during college…but after learning of John’s behavior towards Julian, I could no longer be a fan. This scenario related too much to what my younger self lived through. My father was revered by the public and no one knew how he behaved behind closed doors to his children. And those that knew, remained quiet. He was somehow excused for being creative and that he also had a difficult past. Personally, I am tired of the way society continues to prop up abusers despite their talents. Why do we separate them into different compartments like this and only see the good?
My grandmother tortured and abuse 3 generations of her blood.
In the end stages of life no one would come to her aide understandably aside from my son and I. When her case worker called me from the hospital she was shocked I existed because she refused to tell anyone she had family. When she died, a lot of people were either shocked we existed or would tell us how much she loved us and no one said a word.
Like you said, no one knew how she was behind closed doors and the level of evil she dished out to her own. Such a bizarre experience I must say. To this day, a few of her friends still call me to check on me and tell me how much she loved me. I promised the next time they called to put a stop to it because they are deceived and delusional to the truth of the matter and frankly sick of hearing how loving and a pillar she was to others and not her own blood.
@@NF40375😢❤❤❤
I think there is a lot of this in the world 😢. Patrick did another video of John Adams who was an absent father in order to attend the creating of this nation events. Traveling 🧳 took months back then!
Adams had an alcoholic son who was scorned and left to die alone and penniless. No personal responsibility 😮or genetic responsibility for the illness!! 😢😢😢😮😮
I love how you humanise people!! It is so healing!!
This was fabulous on so many levels. Thank you for all the work you did in putting this together. Even gave me some ideas of how I can talk to my own children, now young adults, about generational trauma and the mistakes I’ve made. I’d love to see a video about how to have that conversation. Thank you again for putting this together. You are beyond generous!
I wish I had seen this a long time ago. I am 62 now. I have had therapy but no one ever helped me to see this. Thank you for your help
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Wow, you tackled the mother lode of complex childhood trauma! Excellent video! I love and feel for John while not excusing some of his actions. Could he have exhibited borderline personality disorder which tracks with his childhood trauma of abandonment and explains his explosive anger and constant jealousy? I think Yoko may have used the search for Kyoko to get John out of England and to the US, far from his family and friends where she could strategically “manage” him - along with his fortune. And I wonder if Yoko influenced John to strip his soul bare through primal scream therapy so she’d know his every weakness. John called her “Mother.” That explains a LOT.
We know so much more about mental health/ illness today. 😢😢❤❤
What a brilliant presentation!!! Thank you!
Fascinating! Have you ever considered looking at Courtney Love? She seems to have dealt with tremendous issues surrounding childhood trauma.
And she's created so much chaos!
@@SamStone1964What do you mean by that?
She writes very good lyrics too.
@@rlud304 she's just really troubled
@@anewplasticidea And? .. that means What, specifically? “Troubled” is a bit vague
Thank you so much for this - talking about John as a complex human being. He is someone I admire much as a musician because he and I have been through so many similar things as kids that his music speaks to me. (Mother is a tough one to listen to!) I get tired of him being demonized and called names (wife-beater). As I learned about CPTSD (which I also suffer from, of course), his symptoms have become clear to me, and your analysis is brilliant and very compassionate. I'd be curious to hear you analyze "TheJohnAndYoko" - perceived as the ideal fusional couple but in reality, a relationship not without unhealthy aspects. Yoko was both a positive (she made him understand and respect women better) and negative (she apparently filtered all phone calls and isolated him from friends and family) on John. I'm sure Yoko carried her own childhood trauma. Thanks again for this video.
Patrick, I admire the depth & breadth of your researching & presenting our CPTSD experiences and explanations of why. Your portrayal of all the Lennon marriages, affairs, unkind exiting, background motives, set up behaviors really asked me to look more honestly at the trauma injuries I left in the wakes of ending my two marriages. There are always so many confluent perspectives on how & why (& then, the unknown truths), we join & then blow it apart. The human condition is fascinating, and I'm a little tired of it now. 😝
Well damn!😯
That was as tough to listen to as I thought it'd be...
& even more fascinating! I listened intently the whole way through, even though most details I knew previously. I've been a Beatles fan since childhood, & love John's solo work even more. (I also enjoyed hearing about teenage Patrick discovering rock n roll, especially as I too am a Dylan fan, & bigtime SP fan😊)
You ended the video w/ my very favorite quote/ song lyric, for 20+ yrs now.
I think his story is ultimately a hopeful one.
Fantastic video!
I’d always liked The Beatles but didn’t get into the lore until Backbeat came out. All of the guys in my band went together and for years I still had the 7” they were handing out (My Bonnie w/Tony Sheridan and Cry For A Shadow). Nowhere Boy, the biography of Lennon’s childhood is a harder watch but fills in a lot of gaps about why he struggled with adult responsibilities.
Thoughtful & well articulated - well done. Always enjoy your content: perspective, but this was especially interesting & insightful
Great concept would love to see more! 2 suggestions: Charles bukowski, Brian wilson
Blaming Yoko Ono for breaking up the Beattles makes me think of scapegoating. And it's interesting to me that they chose a woman to scapegoat when John Lennon sounds like he was self-destructive in his own right and the public knew that
Yes unfair to blame Yoko for everything. When the Lennons collaborated with Chuck Berry she only warbled not wailed.
Yes and that’s what made him easy to manipulate
@@lemsip207😂😂😂
@@lemsip207 She wailed like mad.
I feel really sad and sorry for Julian. He had the least attention and caught in the crossfire…
I hope he was able to have a good relationship with his mom, Cynthia and go on to have a meaningful life. He seemed to. Good 👍 guy - I was connected to him on FB.
Wow, absolutely fascinating! When you go to Harvard for your lecture you need to start doing case studies there as well. The fact you put this on you tube is a gift. Along with the Adam’s one just spectacular! Job well done Patrick!!
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I really appreciate your work.
John learned from his parents at an early age that inconvenient children are disposable. 😢
Oh, that is so nice to hear you talking about music´s influence on you! 💖💖
I guess people with abusive family background tend to rely on meaningful music a lot. I did that so so much! Surely because I didn´t have a real person I could talk to, there was simply noone left.
I tried to talk to a man midtwenties I think when I was 15, just now had lost my father to cancer, and my brother became more and more threatening, choleric, sadistic.
The man studied special education, very punky-gothicy viking type, black dyed iro, red beard, blue eyes, gosh I had a crush on him for years and never told him oc and he never understood. XD Anyway he said I can dial a hotline for sth, domestic violance maybe that I never considered afterwards, it was just so out of reach for me.
But he lend me the first albums of Tori Amos who became my absolute fave songwriter for decades and is acually part of my username on most platforms. I held on to her music like "Silent all the years" and such things. It helped me to survive like later on other mostly female singers like Tracy Chapman, Jewel etc.
Sadly it couldn´t prevent me from becoming assaulted very late in life, when I thought starting to date again would stabilize me in a time where I fought for a professional degree/reeducation and the pressure of the pandemic weighed heavy on me on top of that.
Idk maybe I´m just not armed enough for this world, but I really appreciate your work here and those of others who fight for us to provide us with the foundations of knowledge about all this stuff around childhood trauma and how to start recovering!!! 💝💝
Sorry to hear you went through that. I hope better days happen for you now.
@@websurfer5772 Thank you very much!😊😊 I give my best to learn how I can recover and better care for myself. Its just a lot.
Today I actually read a funny word play that I like to remember. In the contexts of abusive family systems they often call the blamed and rejectd person a "scapegoat", but today in a comment section someone called herself the "escapegoat"! I found that super funny! I´m the escapegoat! 😂😂😊😊
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@@011silbermondthanks for sharing that!!! 😂😂😂❤❤❤
Patrick, l SO love it when you combine psychology w/ history!!!!! KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!!
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thank you so much for sharing your work, your channel and instagram feed are outstanding 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
That song is one of my favorites of his. I hear that bell toll & shivers run up my spine. That song IS a therapy session. ❤
Very thoughtful and insightful analysis. I am a lifelong Beatles fan and when he died I was almost 15 years old. I have done a geary deal of research and reading over the years. John seemed to be all things, insightful and oblivious, kind and cutting, a conscientious father and husband and an abusive one. I also believe he had capacity for insight and was coming to that in big strides when he was murdered. Yoko did not break up the Beatles. But I find it difficult to forget how cruel she was to Julian. Both before John's death but especially afterward. So much money in the estate and she fought tooth and nail to keep Julian marginalized and out of it. Anyway... I truly enjoyed your perspective on this.
Evil 👿 woman
It definitely revealed who she was deep down.
Hi Patrick, I love your content. Please don't feel compelled to have to find new subjects, it's always worth revisiting topics because they are so expansive full of insight and you do a great job explaining subject matter in a way that provides access to recovery. Thanks
I listened to the podcast and just wanted to say that I love that you upload both the youtube video version and just the audio because it makes it super convenient to access at any time
Excellent work Patrick. A little caveat: Lennon moved somewhat in to a more radical and ‘revolutionary’ headspace later in his life. His banned song ‘Working class hero’ shows this a bit, as well later his work with socialist theorists: e.g the focu theory. Etc.
I think,your biogenetic analysis was spot on. I think it is difficult to analyze these media stars. For them to even maintain a general human perspective is especially difficult for people like John. It is interesting that George Harrison went down a similar path with his first wife. He regretted this later. Yet Harrison gave us the Willbury’s.
I love your podcasts. I watch them religiously. I’m 80 years old and believe it or not, I am going through a tough 6 year marriage breakup that never really gets resolved between the two of us.
You put so much effort into each podcast with so much care and knowledge. Your role plays with Amanda are fabulous. I learn so much from these.
I too come from a very neglectful family system with a nasty divorce and an insane remarriage by my mother. And, now my marriage after 50 years of togetherness burst apart at the seams.
I really appreciate the thought and effort that goes into your podcasts. Your rooting for the inner-often Lost child-is heartwarming.
When I first went into therapy some five years ago I used freak out when the therapist would say you need to love yourself. I had no idea what she was talking about. Or when she asked me about my needs: again I thought ‘what needs?’.
I am trying to re jig my emotional and mental engines, but believe me it’s a slow process. Most of the time I think I go one step forward and two steps back.
Anyway, thanks for the great work you are doing. Keep it up and god bless you.
Michael Naemsch Dec 2023
Makes sense. Much great art - especially music - comes from deep rooted pain. And the insight & perspective gained from it in the creative process, perhaps in John's case. I'm saddened by his back story & for the neg impact on loved ones, yet deeply appreciate his songwriting contributions. Tragically beautiful. He spoke volumes with it & impacted many. Great insight into the how & why, Patrick.
This was filled with insight, I've been getting a lot out of the e-course work with the Genogram. This talk was especially interesting to me. I shared it with a dear friend - we've been sharing thoughts about J. Lennon for many years. I'd like to know if you could do an analysis of David Bowie's life. There are some parallels between his first attempt to be a parent, and then a happier family later in his life. In 2002, he did a show for cable TV and spoke candidly about his role as a father, and his creative work. I know very little about his first wife, and almost nothing about Iman, but the photos of them together show that same soul mate feeling that John and Yoko shared. Thank you, Patrick.
Nice job, Patrick.I knew some of the background of John Lennon because I have always been a huge Beatles fan. I have all of john's post Beatles albums as well as Mccartney's and Harrisons. You did teach me a lot about the background of johns parents relationships Which is very interesting and does explain a lot of his behavior. I would have loved to have seen him grow old. He was certainly maturing And Sadly his life was cut short. I continue to pray for His soul as well as George Harrisons' soul. Praying God gave them the grace to repent before dying.
'Trauma survivors don't like our minds to be changed.' 🤯
Immense need for protection we had to find for ourselves
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Patrick, as a fellow Piscean, it is very difficult to be a Pisces when you grow up in New England. Thanks for the work you do that I find so relatable and helpful to decode parts of my past. Now I know why I hear you so clearly and find it so insightful personally. ♓️🌸❤️
I discovered you only a week ago on a long drive, as you popped up among the healing gurus I already listen to. Yes I have subscribed. Of course!🎉
I also was born on October 9, 1970. I was born on John Lennon‘s birthday and on his son Sean‘s birthday I have been ineffably tied to them, since, and somehow experienced the same dynamics as John and I find this very special in my heart that you made this video… thank you. Also, I never realized that the very songs I was singing, while listening to John Lennon about the pain in his childhood, were also about the pain in my childhood.
❤ you are the most knowledgeable therapist I have ever come across, and I am full of gratitude for you and your wisdom, and your knowledge and your application and your understanding from all angles, seemingly.
I can’t wait to listen to this one . But I am about to listen to a message from the crappy childhood fairy first. Hugs to all healers, and hugs to all. 🤗We are one.
Also, even though I grew up in Indiana, my favorite team was the Red Sox .
Still is.
Now we know I was meant to hear this :-)
When you said about Julia staying with the abusive partner, because of feeling of failure in her life really opened my eyes and realized why I am staying in a emotional, verbally abusive narcissist husband. Omg! I had an A HA moment! This one really opened my eyes about everything that made us who we are. It explains a lot! I am learning so much watching your videos. Thank you!
Thank you so much for the insight! Dissonance can be difficult to recognize in oneself and taking the time to acknowledge and work through is important to do.
Well done, Patrick. I've read every book ever written about Lennon and was fascinated by him from age 14 when the Beatles burst onto the music scene. Unfortunately, the more I learned, the more puzzled I became.
He was a fascinating and complex man. I wonder what he would have evolved into given a proper life span.
whenever i get too deep in my own head, i come to this channel. pulls me right back out because its so nice to hear an educated person speak from experience so clearly and relatably. thanks dude, youre keeping me sane lmao
"Mother", "How do You Sleep?" & "Just Gimme Some Truth" we're actually part of my body.
Oh, the dissonance ....
Wow, amazing video, thanks so much, incredible research and insight. I loved the Beatles when I was young - still really them.
So insightful. In every program I gain insight into my own experiences.
This was so interesting. John was really telling on himself in “Getting Better,” huh? “I used to be cruel to my woman, I beat her and kept her apart from the things that she loved.” When I was a kid those lines were so troubling to me that I just “decided” that he was writing from the POV of a made-up character, not himself.
When Patrick told his story in the beginning about going into Boston to buy music, I figured he was going to mention Newbury Comics. The way my heart leapt when he name-checked Nuggets instead! 😊
I found this to be really interesting. Thank you. I look forward to the next one.
Fascinating…..thanks Patrick
I know it is again another British songwriter but I woulk like to hear you on David Bowie. This artist undoubtedly suffered from childhood trauma with a distant and absent mother. As a teenager I could relate to the feeling of loneliness conveyed in many of his songs. Recently I listened to his first wife Angela talking about how he behaved with her, their son and also the musicians. This was really insightful.
He was a demon 👿. Into Adreno chrome and other horrible things 😢😮😮😮
Very interesting and it was food for my soul. It's good to know he went through similar trauma and even created some trauma of his own because of not being healed up and it helps to see him and myself and others as just flawed human beings.
Yeah, and finding all this out about one of my icons makes me feel better about making mistakes in my own life.
Wow. This is a great video. I’d love what happens to women and just a continuation of this overall.
Thanks Patrick, very helpful and also fascinating, as always. 🙏🏼
This is highly informative and so important ! I love this analysis, I grew up obsessed with The Beatles and in particular, John’s tricky and heavy childhood. I hope you continue this series, it’s really brilliant !
I always thought that John Lennon was a covert narcissist. He has all of the makings of one including abusing or abandoning people in his path and putting on a grandiose humanitarian facade.
yeahh
Well, it's impossible to diagnose dead person. Most of attempts choose bordeline personality disorder.
Doesn’t sound very covert to me.
He's showing on my radar as being like that as well - or a community narcissist, who looks great to the public but behind closed doors is...a narcissist. It does not sound like he lost control of himself on occasions then felt bad about it latter/tried to do something about it in future, it sounds like he never had control.
Had no idea before now. But that's community narcissists for you.
Nope. He was often angry, even violent. But can a narcissist create great art?
Thank you so much Patrick for this intriguing and very informative content. From a fellow SW, much gratitude and love.
YES would love a couple 'what happens to women' deep dives please!
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I was 10 when this came out as a 45 B side. I hadn't yet figured out I was adopted. This song spoke to me in a way I couldn't understand. I didn't understand why my Mom was so freaked out by it (bless her!). It is still a song that speaks to me.
I am delighted to hear Julian came out of that trauma. I think he was the one that was inflicted the most.
From the early part of the story, she slept with that other guy. Two wrongs don't make a right.