Neal Brennan - Every Girl Is Either Freezing or Starving

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  • Опубликовано: 1 фев 2018
  • #NealBrennan on how girls and guys are hateful in different ways, what makes relationships last, and why women's bodies don't make sense.
    Neal Brennan stand up from the Just for Laughs Festival in 2013.
    #NealBrennanJFL #NealBrennanStandUp
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    Just For Laughs is the world’s premiere destination for #standupcomedy. JFL produces the world’s largest and most prestigious comedy event every July in Montreal, as well as annual festivals in Toronto and Sydney. On this channel, you will find comedic clips from some of the most legendary comedians in the business: Chris Rock, Bill Burr, Kevin Hart, and more. We also feature stand-up from newcomers such as John Mulaney, Bo Burnham, and Amy Schumer. If you just want to laugh, you’re in the right place.
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Комментарии • 355

  • @entertain7us148
    @entertain7us148 5 лет назад +1611

    “Women dress for the first 30 seconds of wherever they’re going.”
    As a woman I can confirm this is accurate af.

    • @robfab5204
      @robfab5204 5 лет назад +5

      Haha dang

    • @entertain7us148
      @entertain7us148 5 лет назад +19

      DJ Xistential ... I’m sorry, what?

    • @nachtegaelw5389
      @nachtegaelw5389 5 лет назад +5

      Haha not me, I value comfort. I’m not afraid of “ruining” an outfit with a thick cardigan. I wear sweaters year round 😂

    • @BratvaTV
      @BratvaTV 4 года назад +4

      @DJ Xistential this writes the Chappelle show with Dave

    • @TheLadyDelirium
      @TheLadyDelirium 4 года назад +6

      @@nachtegaelw5389 When I was younger I would value what I looked like over warmth and comfort but as I've got older I've completely changed. I wear comfy shoes and cardigans now but I'm happy with that.

  • @jada8820
    @jada8820 6 лет назад +403

    "I had lunch but I'm starving" - me

    • @sarahl9201
      @sarahl9201 4 года назад +5

      Or well I had a sandwich

  • @jesse-5318
    @jesse-5318 6 лет назад +905

    If you told an architect to build a woman he'd say... its not safe.
    Haha best line ever. Lol 😂😂

    • @locsbyholiday2231
      @locsbyholiday2231 5 лет назад +23

      "I mean I could build it but she's never gonna be able to heat herself. She'll be freezing and starving her entire life." 😂😂😂

    • @nebulousisgod
      @nebulousisgod 5 лет назад +11

      Reminds me of a joke I once heard where they called women structurally unsound

    • @mermaidflows4391
      @mermaidflows4391 4 года назад +1

      @@nebulousisgod actually I think they were talking about Barbie dolls. Which is exactly the body type he is describing. Lol. I think it's the same joke maybe he borrowed it

  • @adorahowell7223
    @adorahowell7223 6 лет назад +238

    I'm both, freezing and starving all the time. I'm anemic and most of my life I have had no food to eat. The situation is real.

  • @LivsWorld
    @LivsWorld 6 лет назад +237

    I feel personally attacked by this 😂😂

    • @peterpaz4877
      @peterpaz4877 5 лет назад

      that's what makes you a woman.....

    • @MrDwaneMann
      @MrDwaneMann 5 лет назад +2

      1 year later.... still .... no one cares

    • @peterpaz4877
      @peterpaz4877 5 лет назад

      @@MrDwaneMann - 1 year later, I'm with ya Dwane.

    • @gemule
      @gemule 4 года назад

      Peter Paz aww good luck you guys!

    • @DSB831
      @DSB831 3 года назад

      Eat some Cheetos and put on a hoodie

  • @BGriff-
    @BGriff- 5 лет назад +476

    "Girls dress for the first 30 seconds of wherever they are going" BIG FACTS!!!! (Respectfully of course)

  • @roysreceptive
    @roysreceptive 6 лет назад +548

    I like how it all came full circle.

    • @tavoymoore7981
      @tavoymoore7981 6 лет назад +16

      L.Pasteur he’s the guy behind the dave chappelle show.

    • @um22w22
      @um22w22 6 лет назад +3

      Tavoy Moore oh now Dave chapelle has a ghost writer?! You might want to see chapelle’s stand up to know that this guy was munching off of him.

    • @tavoymoore7981
      @tavoymoore7981 6 лет назад +16

      um22w22 u have no clue lol

    • @OneDarkCutie
      @OneDarkCutie 6 лет назад +14

      um22w22 They came up with a majority of the content together, but it was indeed the 'Chappelle show'. Dont sleep on Neal, though.

    • @janelemberg2723
      @janelemberg2723 5 лет назад

      L.Pasteur i

  • @Lubbylove89
    @Lubbylove89 6 лет назад +136

    He ain't lyin about that lunch though...lol I'll sometimes eat a handful of cheerios and that's it.

  • @iwant2rob
    @iwant2rob 5 лет назад +35

    i just realized that i seriously am freezing and starving as i watch this

  • @TheRocketNasty
    @TheRocketNasty 6 лет назад +91

    man that last joke with the architect is unbelievable. fucking hilarious :D

  • @baddi25
    @baddi25 5 лет назад +93

    That architect line is gold. Womens bodies are not safe lol

  • @favourudegbunam5904
    @favourudegbunam5904 6 лет назад +50

    "If you told an architect to build a woman he'll be like, IT'S NOT SAFE"

  • @francobenevento7598
    @francobenevento7598 Год назад +22

    Neil is the most underrated comedian of all time. Blocks is an absolute masterpiece and no one I know has even heard of it.

    • @JL-rv9lm
      @JL-rv9lm Год назад +1

      Agree, and his tribute to Chappelle at the Mark Twain Prize was genius.

    • @mc76
      @mc76 Год назад

      None of your friends can afford Netflix, obviously.

    • @williamgardner7886
      @williamgardner7886 Месяц назад

      I love the 3 part joint

    • @OhGrowUpPodcast
      @OhGrowUpPodcast 14 дней назад

      Personally liked 3 Mics more, but def a dark horse no one knows about… he only wrote for the most successful show on Comedy Central

  • @curseyoujordanshow
    @curseyoujordanshow 6 лет назад +25

    That was a damn tight 4 minutes. Nicely done.

  • @markhippyshire
    @markhippyshire 6 лет назад +164

    Dude had 4 minutes to make me laugh. That's not a lot of time, and he painted a pretty picture. I loved this set.

  • @ewhoyer
    @ewhoyer 6 лет назад +206

    His concert “Three Mike’s”on Netflix is very worthwhile - funny guy.

    • @redfury91
      @redfury91 6 лет назад +3

      confirmed

    • @neghiethervil5606
      @neghiethervil5606 6 лет назад +1

      Thanks for suggestion. Any others while I'm here?

    • @raffyleal
      @raffyleal 6 лет назад +1

      E Howeee Mics

    • @muraroligia
      @muraroligia 6 лет назад

      Neghie Thervil Hannah Gadsby Nanette was also very intense

    • @NoelBuller
      @NoelBuller 5 лет назад

      *special

  • @olie3625
    @olie3625 4 года назад +3

    This couldn't come at a better time, am freezing and eating right now 🤣

  • @firstname__lastname
    @firstname__lastname 6 лет назад +82

    Ok right.. my brain was trying to place him... Now I know.
    Chappelle showwwwww

  • @Chococat_Ariana
    @Chococat_Ariana 6 лет назад +140

    Oh gosh. I looked at this video's title and I'm ashamed to say I'm both :D

  • @celieboo
    @celieboo 5 лет назад +4

    That architect joke was comedy PLATINUM!

  • @newplanman9836
    @newplanman9836 6 лет назад +31

    Love his delivery and timing...perfect. Totally David Spadesque

  • @DarthFurie
    @DarthFurie 6 лет назад +8

    The accuracy of this whole set 😂😂 I'm a woman and he read us all for filth lmao

  • @rawkrXbabee
    @rawkrXbabee 6 лет назад +219

    Then theres me always eating and wearing like 12 hoodies

    • @k.k.7797
      @k.k.7797 5 лет назад +8

      Sammy when the others freeze & starve we shall rise

    • @habirton
      @habirton 5 лет назад +10

      The real question is what are your views on breaking bad, being cool and sex.

    • @valesth4903
      @valesth4903 5 лет назад +9

      @@habirton We don't like being cool, that's why we steal all your hoodies.

    • @habirton
      @habirton 5 лет назад +2

      @@valesth4903 lol. Touche.

    • @mr.nobody9697
      @mr.nobody9697 5 лет назад +5

      @@habirton this has got to be the greatest line of responses to a YT comment ive ever read. All funny.

  • @sivan-yn5sg
    @sivan-yn5sg 5 лет назад +3

    The ending has me dying😂😂😂

  • @erikawickwire9322
    @erikawickwire9322 5 лет назад +4

    Haha so true. My coworker and I take turns saying I'm freezing and I'm starving all day

  • @VianneyCreates
    @VianneyCreates 5 лет назад +15

    It's not safe. LOL!

  • @ADerpyReality
    @ADerpyReality 6 лет назад +54

    Before he even starts speaking... As a woman I can say that we are often cold/hot or hungry... I'll get back after the bit.
    After show - That man is doing what the universe wants him to do. He is hilarious.

    • @xandersummerlot4971
      @xandersummerlot4971 5 лет назад

      This comment isn’t edited, so I find it very confusing how you could have commented at the start and end of the video :/

    • @habirton
      @habirton 5 лет назад +10

      @@xandersummerlot4971 That's an interesting question, I'll let you know after I get a glass of water and think about it for a minute.
      Oh, just like this! I didn't hit reply and continued to type ;)

  • @jdarb2
    @jdarb2 5 лет назад

    Lol this was funny as hell. I gotta see more!

  • @AlexaBellaMuerte
    @AlexaBellaMuerte 6 лет назад

    Hahaha love the punch line. I'm freezing and starving already.

  • @sayfirenix9354
    @sayfirenix9354 6 лет назад

    The come together on that joke was a amazing!

  • @lucasewen7225
    @lucasewen7225 5 лет назад

    Oh my god that is a great bit. I've seen his stuff before, but that bit was amazing.

  • @ccc-fd3ls
    @ccc-fd3ls 4 года назад +2

    As soon as I read the title I knew he understood me 😂

  • @kelviannaepperson3677
    @kelviannaepperson3677 5 лет назад +1

    His Christmas jokes on the daily show was hilarious

  • @adriandelatorre8963
    @adriandelatorre8963 5 лет назад

    Just saw the title and started laughing. Lol

  • @kargirl33
    @kargirl33 6 лет назад

    why is this so accurate!

  • @waaywavyme
    @waaywavyme 6 лет назад +1

    that statement is tru lol

  • @Vix_Vi
    @Vix_Vi 4 года назад +7

    I don't have those issues. I'm overweight! I'm stuffed with food and my stuffing is keeping me warm.

  • @mimiej8159
    @mimiej8159 5 лет назад +6

    I’m a girl who is currently both freezing and starving

  • @mr.nobody9697
    @mr.nobody9697 5 лет назад

    Watching this routine is a great way to learn stand up.

  • @gracierose6754
    @gracierose6754 5 лет назад

    watching this as i’m cold asf 😂

  • @DETROIT1948
    @DETROIT1948 Год назад

    It's Not Safe!
    Priceless ✨✨✨✨

  • @voice88out
    @voice88out 5 лет назад +2

    Neal is unbelievably funny

  • @Lugenfabrik
    @Lugenfabrik 3 года назад

    So good.

  • @smanthawalsh
    @smanthawalsh 5 лет назад

    So true lmbo

  • @arjuscarlet55555
    @arjuscarlet55555 5 лет назад

    It's not safe.😂😂😂😂😂 Damn.🖤

  • @valiummarbles317
    @valiummarbles317 3 года назад +1

    freezing and starving..sounds like me in winter with my borderline eating disorder :(

  • @deasiasimone5302
    @deasiasimone5302 6 лет назад

    This guy is awesome 👏🏽😂😂

  • @blondienicole9684
    @blondienicole9684 5 лет назад +3

    That's the most accurate statement. I wear sweats even in the summer and I could eat a 3 course meal but still he hungry after

  • @SamBassComedy
    @SamBassComedy 6 лет назад +10

    That was amazing. Hilarious and amazing.

  • @Gerelisf
    @Gerelisf 6 лет назад

    Hilarious!!!! Reallly made me laugh

  • @Wh0isTh3D0ct0r
    @Wh0isTh3D0ct0r 5 лет назад +3

    3:48 That Asian woman in the front row is SOOOO pissed!! Bwahahahaaaa!!
    (Maybe she's freezing and starving.)

  • @shoutrite91
    @shoutrite91 6 лет назад

    LOL!!!! This guy is great

  • @PA-jh2dr
    @PA-jh2dr 2 месяца назад

    As an anemic woman who is an architect, this video sent me down an existential spiral. Thanks Neal.

  • @ggmaudlin425
    @ggmaudlin425 4 года назад

    I feel attacked😂😂

  • @lionandhippo
    @lionandhippo 5 лет назад +1

    I laughed just at the title

  • @XhosaShinobi01
    @XhosaShinobi01 5 лет назад

    He is effortlessly funny.

  • @tangonice8189
    @tangonice8189 6 лет назад

    So True 😄

  • @omarct
    @omarct 5 лет назад

    Yep, so true

  • @sineadbeel1917
    @sineadbeel1917 5 лет назад +3

    I'm ALWAYS freezing a starving. I wear long pants a jacket in summer but a slight breeze makes me cold (I work in a supermarket with ac) I'm always starving because I exercise more than I eat because eating is boring and requires cooking/effort so I just starve.

  • @PTSarah32
    @PTSarah32 5 лет назад

    So funny I actually snotted on myself and then snorted.

  • @METAL-ADDICT
    @METAL-ADDICT 4 года назад

    That was pretty damn funny =)

  • @KU-mq4er
    @KU-mq4er 5 лет назад

    Hahaha brilliant lad .

  • @kontrapunkti
    @kontrapunkti 5 лет назад

    That was good

  • @andresciahooten9598
    @andresciahooten9598 3 года назад +1

    That sound like a girl that I just seen on New Year’s Eve! 😂😂😂

  • @WeaveDreamer
    @WeaveDreamer 5 лет назад

    ITS NOT SAFE 😂 Lmfao

  • @jessface777
    @jessface777 6 лет назад

    Great ending!

  • @indrabrugueras2627
    @indrabrugueras2627 6 лет назад +11

    Neal and Iliza ! come on who alse would also totally go see them or watch them !?! love them ! when is this Match up gonna happen?

  • @cherryliang5117
    @cherryliang5117 4 года назад

    I’m freezing and full

  • @thephoenix2176
    @thephoenix2176 6 лет назад

    Tru dat. . .AND for dressing special occasions Lmao!!

  • @Cmorrison626
    @Cmorrison626 6 лет назад

    The title alone is hilarious...

  • @Saintjaye
    @Saintjaye 3 года назад +1

    *while eating* "I'm starving"

  • @mirandabaxter9296
    @mirandabaxter9296 6 лет назад +65

    He's funny..

  • @tomgold5006
    @tomgold5006 5 лет назад

    great crowd

  • @rachelmauricio9164
    @rachelmauricio9164 5 лет назад

    ITS NOT SAFE !!! LOL!

  • @chuckcarter4251
    @chuckcarter4251 Год назад +1

    I see a lot of this dude in Dave and vice versa … both hilarious

  • @mztweety1374
    @mztweety1374 5 лет назад +3

    Right up to middle age then we're freezing, starving and burning TF up!!

  • @mr.Swartz
    @mr.Swartz 6 лет назад +23

    Neal is the Man behind the Man you’re laughing at

  • @blahblahtoucan5329
    @blahblahtoucan5329 5 лет назад +3

    Funny but can't really relate . If I'm cold I either find something to make me warm or try to ignore it. And if I'm hungry I stare into the fridge, waiting for inspiration.

  • @emijta
    @emijta 5 лет назад

    I usually am both most of times😁 in fact that's why I dress warm and eat so much.

  • @standupbear4811
    @standupbear4811 6 лет назад

    His brother is the best

  • @samanthamichelle2094
    @samanthamichelle2094 5 лет назад

    Im both 😅

  • @messymonster690
    @messymonster690 6 лет назад

    right now im both

  • @bloamy8498
    @bloamy8498 4 года назад

    Neal be underrated

  • @quackapatth
    @quackapatth 2 года назад

    best set ive seen only callback too nice

  • @mecraft1323
    @mecraft1323 2 года назад

    Literally saw a girl in the front row of his audience crossing her arms so as to keep in warmth. Worst part is, she was wearing a sweater. But was still cold LOL!

  • @richardmichael7523
    @richardmichael7523 5 лет назад

    so true on the 30 sec women wardrobe...........
    Architects..............
    LOL

  • @alhutch1798
    @alhutch1798 6 лет назад +1

    lol this is good

  • @stephensullivan1011
    @stephensullivan1011 5 лет назад

    So accurate 😄👌 literally my gf

  • @HashimWarren
    @HashimWarren 4 года назад +1

    Just the title made me laugh. I had to click

  • @isabelabassett2764
    @isabelabassett2764 4 года назад +1

    I’m a comfortable temperature. But hungry

  • @TheHouseOfRonin
    @TheHouseOfRonin 4 года назад

    100% sniper accuracy

  • @gennylaig9896
    @gennylaig9896 6 лет назад

    This is halarious

  • @curtwilliams2606
    @curtwilliams2606 5 лет назад

    Nawww, she gotta shower😂

  • @hikingtotoro
    @hikingtotoro 5 лет назад

    Nice

  • @yusurkassem4174
    @yusurkassem4174 4 года назад

    First time i see a comedy segment about women and i scream MEE
    Idky but i'm always freezing or starving I just am

  • @chaosdream21
    @chaosdream21 6 лет назад +3

    he has nice eyes

  • @hashapyalyasharahla9834
    @hashapyalyasharahla9834 4 года назад

    😂😂😂😂

  • @rafthethinker4948
    @rafthethinker4948 4 года назад

    The woman architect bit should've been a chapelle show sketch somehow

  • @mermaidflows4391
    @mermaidflows4391 4 года назад +1

    "If you asked an architect to build a woman he'd be like, I can't it's not safe." 🤣🤣🤣 This is why I'm glad I have big feet and small titties. Much more architecturally sound.

  • @heroshyma69
    @heroshyma69 6 лет назад +8

    Crazy to think this guy wrote for the chappelle show