how to let go and detach
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- Опубликовано: 17 июл 2024
- letting go of someone that you care about is always hard, but once we understand the source of our desires, especially in situations that are not always the most benificial to us and our own well being, we can learn to detach and open ourselves up for relationships that are truly right for us.
TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 Intro
0:49 Look at the "Bigger Picture"
9:46 Learn About Attachment Theory
19:36 Closing Thoughts
22:53 Outro
hello my lovely people
It really did and I’m rushing to read attachment theory to understand myself more 🫶🏼✨
“Our attachment styles may not be our choice, they may not be our fault, but they are our responsibility”. Michelle I can’t emphasize how timely this came. I just got out of a relationship and everything you said was spot on. Thanks for creating this ❤
That's a great quote.
YOU ARE PRETTY ♥️
I think the best thing to do to get over someone is eat good food, go outside, journal, and manifest good vibes. You can get through it!!
I agree💅🏻💅🏻
Perfect. Exactly how I feel. If you choose to dismiss my feelings, you don't care nor respect me. Therefore we don't need to be together. It's better for both parties.
It’s really that simple🫶🏼
Hey, just found your channel, and I love you already because I can relate deeply with you. I’m also a sensitive person (which is beautiful) I recently had to let go of a friendship group. Honestly it felt like my whole world was over but I’m very surprised and grateful I’m at peace and in a better place mentally . In retrospect, I feel that had to happen in order for me to grow, I was holding on to a lot of things that were not good for me out of fear of being lonely. I won’t lie, I played my part in the whole fall. I’m grateful I’m in a better place now, I’m learning more and more about myself and setting firm boundaries.
Sis, the timing of this video… thank you for this :)
❤️❤️no worries, sending love
THISSSS oh my God. you know the things you think about yourself in pieces, but then someone says all of it put together and you're like wow. this has been explained in a way that my brain never could've put together on its own. I had all the pieces, but I just saw a picture of the whole puzzle. thank you for being so open in this video
Your channel is so amazing, I’m can relate to all videos you have put out. And I can’t explain the comfort these videos have given me as a 18 year old going through so many changes and leaving people behind. I really appreciate these videos during a time of struggle and heartbreak for myself and also for a truly happier life with perspective in general.
You are helping so many people out there in the world ❤. Keep being you
hey gia! i stumbled across ur youtube acc early in the morning. after the first video, i watched this. i cant begin to thank you enough for this video. ive gone through so many articles and videos trying to figure out how i can help myself to overcome this issue and this was the first video that i could relate to. first video that talked about the attachment style especially the anxious attachment style. thank you very much for sharing this.
your channel is so therapeutic & helps me organise my thoughts & emotions into clarity . i can relate to every single one of your videos you put out here
so glad to have found you this time of my life & i just love how emotionally mature & wise you are .
thank you for sharing it w us , we appreciate you being you
thank you for you. i’ve been relapsing for a month now, and everything is so overwhelming. i need this a lot. thank you for being like a big sister to me.
I haven’t watched this but this video is so perfect for me atm I have been feeling really off w my friend group idk they r very judge mental people and idk I just feel like they constantly make me feel like shit for who I am but I have a hard time letting them go bc yes we did have good memories but doesn’t change how they make me feel idk I am struggling on what I should do and u r really helping me
thank you for sharing this. really needed it
tysm michelle, my cousin has been going through quite a struggle lately with personal business of hers but, this really helped me insight and i really believe i have the confidence to guide and advise her in the right direction
This is the best video I could have possibly found like we genuinely have have had the same types of relationships with people and it feels so good to hear someone going through the same stuff as me. Sometimes you feel crazy or like you’re the problem but in reality you just tend to have close friendships or relationships with people that you are mismatched with and it’s neither of your faults. Thank you so much for uploading this and I would love to hear you talk more about this!
This was so timely and confirmed a lot of things I’ve been reading and studying on my own healing journey from a decade-long relationship that I just got out of. I’m definitely on the right track with getting to know my attachment style so I will be studying up more on that so I can do the work when it comes to this & discuss this with my therapist. Thanks for this video.
Oh my God I needed this. navigating a similar situation and me and the person have similar attachment styles to what you described (I the anxious, them the avoidant) thank you for this
This came at the perfect time! I really did learn a lot from this video and took away a whole lottt. This was beautiful,thank you❤
you're videos helped me to be alone and love my own company, thank you so much :)💞💕
Oh, my Michelle Gia. You are so worth it to watch. Thank you for this!
Needed this so bad😢❤
Gossebumps!!! ngl im currently having the same problem as you right now, i really thought that I overthink too much, alter watching this video it really helps me realise that im not the only one who has the same problem😂
idk why or how but your video got recommended to me by some miracle.. i am currently going through a hard time with my gf and this video just describes the situation perfectly.. so i thank you for popping up into my recommended :)
it was very brave of u to tell us all this about ur personal life with such honesty, im sure it has helped a lot of ppl including me, i appreciate it.
Another beautiful video the vulnerability means a lot
this whole video resonated with me. I was bestfriends with someone for most of my teen/adolescent years who probably wasnt the best. The thing you said god keeps giving you the same test and see how youll handle it. We had the same fights over and over. I had enough of being a doormat. Just feeling valuable when needed. Omg i just needed to hear all of this and truly know i made the right choice. Ive been to therapy soo many times for this ‘friendship’ and yeah. Just thank you for your words. Ive stayed busy with art. And ive found so much beauty in my art/myself. Thank you thank you
found out about your channel yesterday ! Appreciate you talking about things that people may relate to !
Please keep doing what you love and enjoy. You’re incredible 🤍
Love your vlogs its so raw and unique ❤
I spent the last two days thinking about how much I’m healing after dropping someone who I wanted in my life forever and kinda spiraled with hoping we’d be in our lives again even tho I know we cant. So this came at a perfect time, haha.
i just found your account, and i absolutely love your videos. The way you talk and thoroughly explain everything is amazing, your doing amazing!!
awe thank you love
I can definitely relate to some of your personal experiences. I've had to let go of a best friend that I cared about because I made mistakes and was in the wrong. I still think about her and reminiscence occasionally, but I know I have to move on and use that experience to grow into a better person. I don't know if you know, but there is a Law of Accumulation in economics where it emphasizes the consistency of hundreds and thousands of small little things that accumulate into big progress. The same can be applied to relationships. Small little things by themselves mean nothing, but the accumulation of hundreds and thousands of small things can become meaningful and bring comfort to relationships.
thank you for this video im glad i saw this when i needed it so bad rn
❤️❤️it’s a pleasure
thank you for this my love gia!! 🥺 it help me
❤️❤️it’s a pleasure
Just found your channel and the videos you make deeply resonate with me. Including this one, as I did not have the best childhood which has resulted in some attachment issues I have to deal with. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and knowledge and making me feel less alone :-).
Welcome🥰 and if course I’m so glad it could help! Wishing you all the best
I really needed this… thank you 😭😭
You’re welcome🥺🫶🏼
going through the same things 🥺 thank you for sharing this 🤍
No problem at all❤️hope you feel better:)
I needed this thx❤
i can relate to you so much. im so glad i found your channel, i love listening to your experience. thank you ❤
That makes me so happy to hear❤️I’m so glad to have you here🥰
This was so therapeutic.. Watching this, just you talking feels like a friend. (How many times am I gonna comment that lmaoo but really) This feels like the podcast episode my long, draining week needed. Hearing you speak today felt like you were reading one of my diary entries. I can’t express my gratitude enough. I will try to stop leaving essays in the comments (🤣🤣) so I’ll leave you with this quote that has helped me:
“I was nearly pathologically afraid of abandonment and so I’d repeatedly picked people who were absolutely incapable of giving me what I needed, to ensure I was never really at risk of substantial loss.”
I am proud of you for working through your fears, Michelle (and everyone in this community)! Anyway, omw to therapy 🤣
im not even joking everytime you post a video it goes hand in hand with things going on in my life looooooooool
We innit together my friend🥺🫶🏼
i’m going through this right now. thank you.
Ily🫶🏼it will get better
This video couldn’t have came out at a better time, thanks Michelle
No worries🥺🫶🏼
HOW DID U KNOW I NEEDED THIS
LMAOOO I feel your energy🫶🏼
My girl never misses on these videos !!!
Love you😘
So helpful ❤❤❤ty!
I also have the anxious attachment style, and being stuck in an energy draining inconsistent loop of highs and lows with someone for the past year or so was the most exhausting thing i've ever experienced. it took me to entertain this person to realise this was my attachment style but since I have known it, I have realised how wrong our dynamic was. I was always feeling a rush whenever he showed up even though he'd only show up for validation or for me to tell him how great of a person he was on his bad days, yet when the roles reversed and I really needed his support on something, he'd become distant then disappear for weeks or months at a time. my expectations were so high for him even though I knew deep down he could never reach them because of how little energy he put in from the beginning, yet I chose to ignore it. so I guess you could say we share similar toxic traits.. I always gravitate to the emotionally unavailable because I always sense reward from helping people, yet people never help me, and on the rare occasion they do, it ends in me apologising for literally just sharing my thoughts on something. I feel I have been classically conditioned to feel bad when sharing my own thoughts, probably because of my perfectionism stemming from my childhood as my parents always admired me as "the golden child" and lowkey still do. either way, my anxious attachment style is definitely no match for this boy who has an avoidant attachment style, which sucks because I cant even begin to tell you how much I genuinely cared for him... at least I thought I cared for him.
I just wanted to say that you are such an inspiring person! 😊🙏
Thank you sm🥺🫶🏼
I could honestly listen to you talk all day
🥹🫶🏼
Oh gosh I could relate to this video so much! Especially the part where you talk about gravitating towards distant friends. Whenever I'd find myself in this type of dynamic, I'd blame myself for the relationship not working out. But now I realize that it's not always someone's fault. Sometimes, it's just a result of mismatched needs💔
Life changing, thank you✨️💗
❤️❤️
we learning how to let it go like Elsa 😤🧝🏻♀️❄️
The main reason I did my hair like that tbh💅🏻
@@MichelleGia man... you're such a visionary, teach me how to be just like you 🤓
Congrats on the job Michelle!
Thanks girly it was a rough process🤝
I’m just now seeing this 😮 I love car talk videos ♥️
🥰🥰
Would love a part 2 if you have more to share. Also going through this ❤️
Would love to in the near future🥰
omg i need this video. love u
Hehe ily
This was therapeutic
GIRLLLL THE TIMING OF THIS VIDEO
My comfort person is back 🤧... Thanks Michelle
🫶🏼happy to hear from you
I can relate A LOT. I think I have an anxious attachment as well, with a dash of avoidance hence my tremendous difficulty to truly open up to others. I didn’t have many friends in my life, but two of them were exactly the same; distant, unreliable, sometimes even cruel (that’s all in the past luckily). I’m very clingy and afraid to lose anyone I care about. My vision of a “perfect” friendship tends to blind me, it also makes me idealize people or demonize them. Same goes for romantic relationships, to be honest I’ve never been in one, well one reason is definitely that I didn’t know I was gay till I was 17 xd but the other is that I’m just too avoidant and uninterested in taking up risks. Because if making and maintaining friendships is already a big challenge for me, then how overwhelming would it be to have a romantic one? I just hope that one day I’ll find someone who will understand my struggles and would be willing to wait for me to adjust. Wishing you just this and all the best, Michelle!❤ let’s grow up together and break out of our toxic circles 😤
Proud of you for being able to be honest with your own patterns, but do remember that you are always accountable for your own behavioral patterns and you cant always put the burden of having someone else waiting for your growth- instead, have the right people being able to challenge your assumptions and patterns. The worst thing is to have us being dependent on someone else solely for own growth! X
So relatable, i feel our mind think alike. Just know you’re not alone 😊 I know you got no socials but it would be really nice to be able to talk to you.
I have 2 months without IG Facebook and I feel so much better without them. I feel like I don’t need to show to anyone else about my life, about what I need to do and show them about what’s the mean “enjoy” the life so I feel free.
Wise words as always. Your vibe will always be the best.
Keep pushing forward :)
Thank you sm🫶🏼all the best to you!
@@MichelleGia 💜so rad seeing your reply.
How’s the night treating you? :)
@@zayc9371 it was great thank you! Hope you’re well:)
I LOVE your videos
ILY❤️🫶🏼
Love this topic!! You’re gorgeous btw 🫶🏽❤️
😘😘thanks queen, love u
very timely I’m crying atm
Ily❤️🫶🏼you’ll get through it
@@MichelleGia i wish :( it’s so hard for me to let go. but i wish i can be more tougher
thank u so much ❤️🥺
This was beautifully executed. Going through this currently. Thank you for this Michelle :)
Sending you so much love❤️
Thank you MG! ✨✨🌚🌚
Perfectly timed video and good message
so happy to hear
omg, you've been here since my to the moon vids, im crying:*
@@MichelleGia yeah it's nice to see your progress. I came back and saw all your accomplishments like a proud parent 😂. I'm more surprised you remembered
@@redrose-fo3qe awe thank you🥹you were one of the first commenters in my channel ever, I never forgot:)
@@MichelleGia that's cute. I'd follow you on social media, but I forgot you don't have them anymore
Thank you 🫶
Just saw the title and I clicked right away
hehe ily
spitting facts
OMG I’m your BIGGEST FAN😫💦
@@MichelleGiaik chill out
Thank you ❤
No worries❤️
16:00 I really felt that .....
14:13 - 17:03 is so relatable omg
I feel the same way
Fortunetly i found this channel
So glad you’re here🫶🏼
You should start a podcast!!!
love youuu
Ily❤️❤️
all facts ❤️
Can you vlog more?
I would love to have a conversation with you❤ i feel like we have a lot of the same view points and a lot in common💕…. Just subscribed like 20 minutes ago after watching “quitting social media” and why, and I’ve done the same thing for a lot of those reasons. I love your content 🤍 and your perceptions
Okay wait no this is scary. Her "why I quit social media" video was in my reccomended and I watched that first, immediately subscribed and am currently loving on all the rest haha. Hope your takeaways are just as positive and uplifting as mine!
Thankyouuuuuuuuuuu
It’s a pleasure🫶🏼
just in time as I just graduated and finished the nursing board exams😭
🫶🏼❤️congrats!!
The Lady of Heaven movie was released on Movie streaming platforms, such as Apple TV, Google Play, Amazon Prime and Microsoft. The producers of the film would appreciate any promotion of the movie especially from content creators such as you! I can assure you that the crew put their heart and soul into this film. Thank you and take care.💙
❤❤❤
🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
💪🏿💪🏿💪🏿
🤝🤝
Can I chat with you?
damn. just damn.
i’ve been meaning to start making videos on youtube in a very vulnerable way. i recently moved to hawaii from california away from everyone. letting go has been a beautiful struggle. thanks for sharing your journey. the resonance with your videos have been divine timing. i would like to spend more time working on it. i am inspired by you to find spaces to create and share bits of my life to have impacts on people like you do.
keep posting!
us moment 2.0, michelle
So us💅🏻🫶🏼
NICE HAN
XDD
damn it’s like she’s psychic and fr is my therapist because i don’t wanna express my life and thoughts to a old woman or man personally. I would rather talk to somebody who can relate to me and is around my age limit which is Michelle 🫶🏾. love your Spotify playlist by the way and hope you been great these past few weeks. and my mental has also got somewhat better
I want to see more videos on your channel but there is not much you know?
Please vlog more about yourself like study, make up, making food or go for a walk
😭
It ain't easy staying and it's not easy to leave.
My RUclips crush 💀😭
🥹🫶🏼
this just hurts to listen to in general
:((( literally me
😣🫶🏼
God, you are an infj right?
Hehe infp
thank you so much for making yt videos. I think what made me like your channel is because i oddly and vividly could resonate easily with the things that you share and this video specifically really resonates with situation that i am in right now. I think i can slowly come in peace with myself now and i also have learned my new flaws and i got to understand things in another different aspects🤍🤍
I’m recently trying to let go of a long time friend who I developed feelings for, so your timing with this video is just perfect. So, thank you. A lot of us really needed this. Much love. 🤍
❤️❤️sending you love, you will get through it
Man this video was timely 🥹😭
🥹🫶🏼❤️