@@katyedwards3935 if your partner has debt they aren't taking care of then joining finances will drag you down. If they can't take care of their own finances then why would you give them a voice into your finances. Relationships are supposed to be a mutually beneficial where you both take care of each other.
While i appreciate full time mom, i cant appreciate a full time girlfriend. Its a recipe for disaster. If a person does nothing for 6 years, it says a lot about her character.
No. No way. “Girlfriend” isn’t a job. I don’t care how much housework she does. That is not okay. A person cannot just quit working, unless they are being taken care of by another person. It’s not just room and board a person has to worry about. There is retirement, and healthcare, among other things, that needs to be considered. No employer is taking into consideration how much housework goes into being a stay at home anything. Marriage means she is legally entitled to half the marital assets. That is her compensation for staying at home. How well she does staying home is irrelevant. Being a girlfriend who stays at home means she is just unemployed. There is a radical difference between a stay at home wife and a stay at home girlfriend.
This is why I was grossed out when I heard about the stay at home girlfriend trend. Never put yourself in a position where you are so vulnerable and dependent. This is a lifestyle that might seem nice, but if he decides he doesn’t want you anymore, you have nothing. I hope for both of them that they take this breakup as an opportunity to mature.
yeah, but at least she got 6 years off without having to work. i didn't work for 3 years and living off savings. wouldn't mind if my loser exboyfriend would have paid for my 3 years off, but he actually lived with me so i was financing his life even though i wasn't working and paying rent. he even used my car. i kicked him out and stopped letting him use the car. he broke up because he just wanted to use me for apartment and car. would have been nice if i could have actually lived in someone's apartment and used their car for the last 3 years so i didn't have to use savings. but, nothing is free in life. you give up peace and freedom if you don't pay yourself.
@annaneu9954 if he doesn't want her anymore, at least she enjoyed some bill free time off and if she wanted to could have worked to save money and let him pay all bills. Other women work, pay all for themselves, no time off, and still get dumped. She wins by getting time off, no bills, and can save her own money since she's not paying bills.
What’s easier to replace a career and a life or a girlfriend/wife? The girlfriend/wife, of course. Women are a dime a dozen, as are men in the case of women.
No. You did exactly right. Never sell yourself short. Before you reach another decade in your life, you’ll be a WHOLE lot wiser. Don’t fall into this trap again.
A friend of mine was in a situation like this. 2 weeks after they broke up the other half got a job. For some people the best way to help them is to stop enabling them.
This guy is extremely lucky!! Lucky he didn’t get her pregnant. Lucky that her parents are willing to take over her car loan. Lucky she cooperated and just left the house without any conflict!! This guy better reflect on this and not move another girl in to his home!!!
The fact that she did cooperate shows she is at least not a vindictive person. Finding a partner now that has proper ethics and morals is extremely difficult nowadays, As the host said - He co signed for everything. I think both parties were wrong here but I think he has lost something over a problem that may not have existed if he had just put his foot down and sat down and spoke to his partner
Women aren't supposed to work. Guy is just greedy and weird. I'd never trade my wife for any amount of money. He also could've just asked her to not buy an expensive car. Remember, career women are the adulterers and the most likely group to initiate a divorce. It takes a special kind of crazy to want that lifestyle as a woman.
@@jeretso While I do love Honda and Toyota, they could be renting a very expensive version. I also don't believe cars say as much about a person as many men might think.
*The very first conversation is the exact time to talk about it* , because he cannot replace time . Plus , he would probably be wasting money on useless dates .
Nobody is stopping women from learning to take care of themselves. Men and society actually encourage ye to do so and men don't have to do everything for ye.
@@IrishFrank22 Some girls come from families where are they are not encouraged to learn to be independent. There is nothing wrong with being dependent as long as you have the knowledge and understanding that you know how to be independent if needed. I personally think it's a good thing to be a homemaker but just in case the arrangement doesn't work out a woman must always have a plan B. I think it's important that this woman has that opportunity to be independent even if it's only for a little while before she actually gets married. Some men also have this issue. They live off their parents too long and never actually learn how to be independent. It's not healthy for anyone to not be aware of what they're capable of.
I completely agree with you!! This was me! My parents discouraged me from getting a job in high school and afterwards for various reasons. I am now married and more independent today, but still trying to unlearn and develop my independence as a woman and a wife. It has been very challenging breaking that mold my parents set for me.
@@The-Oneness11 99% of women in the west have all the freedom they want. After they hit over 30, they are usually crying on social media on how hard it is to do everything by themselves. Using the excuse women are not encouraged is just that, an excuse. My mother kept me down but I knew as a man I had to go and learn to be independent myself. You have to be self motivated.
Theres nothing wrong with wanting a breadwinner/homemaker dynamic but it’s for married people with the same values. Living together and having a bill-paying-bf/ stay-at-home gf dynamic for 6 years is…. not wise and left them both burned. Married ppl have legal protections so if one wakes up and decides to kick the other out they legally cant bc itd be a marital home. Whereas a bf or gf can put all your stuff on the curb at the drop of a hat. If you take out debt for an unmarried partner, it’s just your debt with only your name on it. Big L
Honestly being a permanent homemaker without even having any kids is not a productive way of life. One should strive for more in life is my honest opinion, or to find a partner that wants to do more than just doing some house chores. It's fine for a little bit, like a transition period, like if your partner just moved to your place, just lost their job or just finished their degree or whatever but again this shouldn't be a permanent state IMO.
No Marriage only financially incentivizes the woman to be disloyal and file for divorce. Only an absolute fool would get married with the current legal system.
Would you rather spend your weekends doing household chores because you both work or spend your weekends doing fun things with your spouse because one of you doesn't work and is able to do those during the week?
@@brianparrett114dude. It’s not that hard. 😂. I work 70 hours, study, have 3 cats, commute to all jobs. And STILL hav enough time to clean and have fun.
Im in the same situation as him. My ex of 10 years was a financial liability to myself for the last 4 years. I love her. But she didnt want to work for 4 years. She has gambling problem. She has debts, depression, and stress. Her life is messed up. She needs help. I have been trying to get out of debt for the last 6 years, but i couldn't! she was a burden for me. I finally broke up with her 6 months ago. It's hard but needs to be done.
@bruha321 Easy to say when you are not in love. She is a kind and good person. She stayed with me when i hit rock bottom 7 years ago. She is pretty, and she can date any men she wanted. She was influenced by her mom and brother. They are gamblers. Not easy to leave when the person you love needs help.
Nicholas, you did the right thing. From now on be smart, don't tell the girl how much you make. Girl has to be working, aligned with your $$ and faith values at a minimum. Preferably debt free. Sell the house if the ex doesn't leave you alone.
My wife has a mini cooper. I haven’t driven out of the parking lot. Terrible car, but she likes it. Happy wife, happy life. But if it was my choice, a mini cooper is an absolute terrible purchase. Notice I didn’t use the term investment.
He said he's ok with her staying at home if they had a kid. Maybe one or the other doesn't want, or can't have, a kid. Also that wouldn't resolve the issue of her being irresponsible with money.
Men want you to work like slave even if you have a kid with him or you are seriously injured, thank god I got divorced nobody is bother me or my daughter, and my injured is healing good.
It's not just about staying at home. More importantly, it's about being aligned on finances. This includes making money, saving, investing, spending, debt... etc. It's clear they weren't aligned. He sounds like she just wanted to be taken care of regardless of whether she was contributing anything or not and didn't have financial discipline. He waited too long IMO.
I have been a homemaker without kids for years. We had to adopt at one point after the waiting. I increased our income with my ability to buy stuff at lower prices, even if it was bread. Never in my wildest dreams I thought about going out and buy expensive stuff like I had a sugar daddy!! Being home is not the problem, acting like you won the lottery is
Exactly and he’s not sticking up for his boundaries & values (living debt free) i am a homemaker for 23+ years PER my husband’s request. It was a HUGE adjustment for me. And a point of contention for over a decade. I wanted to work & contribute. My husband kept assuring me that I WAS contributing. But this caller’s main problem was he was doing all of this for a girlfriend. I hope he gets clear on his boundaries before he enters another relationship
That depends on if the Partner agrees with it. Many Partners don't want a homemaker and in that case that's that. End of discussion. We don't know if he was fine with her being a homemaker and then suddenly kicked her out without warning or if he asked her and she said she wants to stay one and isn't willing to take a Job. That's much more realistic. You don't kick out your 6 year partner out of nowhere without even asking. So if she refused to go work then no... That is a huge problem. No matter how much or how little she spends. If he doesn't agree with that that's the end of the relationship.
It's one thing to have a wife and mother stay home with the kids....it's quite another for a young person, man or woman, to not work. That's weird. For the first 3 years of our marriage, my wife and I both worked full time. Then, I went back to school, worked part time, and my wife kept working full time even after she had our first child. My wife's last day of work was the Friday before I graduated and she has not worked outside of the home since (26 years). I am not "dragging her along"- we are full partners and all income is our income even though the check has my name on it. When Dave said that, I think he was talking about attitude, not income.
You are married. And your wife worked and has an awesome work ethic. You were partners while you were in school even. That's a big difference between your wife being a homemaker before you even have children and staying that way while you're going to school.
This girl probably when from mom and dad's to his house. She didn't learn how to grow up, pay bills. And mom and dad are bailing her out again with the car. Sounds like breaking up is for the best.
He made the right decision. Don't do it again. You need to be equally yoked with your other half so that means shared vision and values, no matter who brings in the income or how much.
He was supporting her on her behavior for 6 years and now he is blaming only her? Did he ever tried to discuss with her that he want some changes or it is over? Or he just used her for 6 years and when he was ready to move back to his wealthy family he just kicked her to the curb with first excuse he found? He literally said he broke up with her after 6 years after watching video. I am actually sorry about this girl. This is just his side of the story and I am not buying it.
It's sad for woman to loose 6 years, but I think she dodges the bullet. Stupid guy if he changes quickly like that. Not adjusting changes slowly and considering people,but like that. Something wrong with his psychic.
This couple absolutely made some seriously bad decisions. Her staying home while they weren’t married is absolutely delusional. Him allowing her to move in with him and not work is also absolutely delusional. They don’t need to be together. I’m glad he is doing it now instead 20 years from now. I get that he wants someone who is accomplished, and has goals. In order to find that, he can’t let women move in with him, and just live off him. He needs to think about what he wants his future to look like, and that woman needs to think about her own financial security.
What is funny, that males don't think, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning the place, grocery shopping, is NOT WORKING! One man I dated, hired a housekeeper to clean his place, took his laundry out to be done, folded, went to restaurants, rather than cook fo himself. All chores required him to PAY and extra for eating out. The woman does that. NO WORK.
Reading betwee the lines: She was waaaayyyy out of his league, he got her as a trophy, and took care of her to inflate his own ego and show off to his friends but then he got buyers remorse.
I think she is one of the rare girls who actually knows how to be a wife. And the dude is a spoiled child who doesn't understand what a good thing looks like. Like my ex wife.
I'm a single man who cooks, cleans, does all his household duties, and debt free. Having a gf with no kids who doesn't work is crazy to me when I can do everything a homemaker can without the burden of taking care of another human financially
I can't figure out why any woman would want to put herself in such a vulnerable place that if he gets tired of her refusing to work (his words) he kicks her out and now she has no job, and no place but mommy and daddy's house, and have mommy and daddy refinance her car so ex doesn't sell it on her.
Same situation here, i had the mistake of having ex gf that did nothing and was unable to keep a job. She did not even do dishes LOL. "But i can fix her" ....oh oh, expensive lesson. 😬
If you view taking care of a woman as a “financial burden” then yes, you should absolutely stay single don’t make the mistake of getting married But there are men who genuinely love to provide for their woman. Both granddads, my dad and my brother all feel this way. It gives them pleasure, it gives them a purpose. It’s so important for men to feel like they have a purpose in life otherwise they will feel uninspired and useless. My brother is a huge foodie he loves to go out with his gf show her the best restaurants. Sure, he can do that by himself or with friends but it just doesn’t feel the same way. My dad has a thing for buying my mom jewelry. I don’t know what it is exactly - I guess he just enjoys it. My grandfathers took care of not only their wives and kids but extended family members as well. Maybe that was their love language but they certainly didn’t view it as a burden. It filled them with joy. We’re from Eastern Europe and I know American men are raised differently from European men. It’s all about your mindset. Happily single men should remain single and happy. A good woman with the opposite mindset will also find your mentality burdensome both parties need to be in alignment
Idk my aunt does this for my uncle. He works she doesn't but he literally doesn't have to even put his pants on himself if he didn't want to lol. She cooks every single meal, from scratch mostly too, she cleans the whole home, and even does outside work too gardening and such, she physically pays all the bills cuz he just doesn't wanna be bothered. I mean when I say this man doesn't even have to breathe for himself outside of his 9 to 5 I ain't lying lol. Every dynamic is different.
This is on him. He allowed her to live with him and offered to pay for everything. Why wouldn’t she take him up on that? She’s probably young too. Imagine spending 6 years with a guy you think is going to protect and take care of you and then get rug pulled like that. It sounds to me like this guy thinks he’s a big shot now and can do better. I’m sure she did more than clean the house. It’s a lot easier to be successful as a man when you have the support of a good woman.
People shouldn’t shack up and play house, period. You reap what you sow. They used each other and were not engaged or married. There was no commitment there. Guess what? People who live with each other before marriage end up breaking up at a higher rate than people who don’t live together before marriage. Facts.
So he was 19 when he shacked up with this girl [ probably younger than him!], used her like a wife with no apparent intention to get married and start a family. Now he’s older and has changed, as we all do as we mature, he’s got rid of her because she didn’t have a job or [ apparently] want one. Did they ever really discuss this like two adults ? So now he’s missing the free sex and coming home to a clean and tidy home, dinner made, laundry done etc etc. [ Assuming naturally that this is how she spent her time?] . On the other hand, he may have been quite happy for her to stay at home and make everything nice for him and she enjoyed it , but then he started to resent the fact he had to go to work each day but she didn’t. Or maybe she wasn’t good at homemaking , spent a lot of time lazing around, visiting friends, spending money on herself and that started to annoy him [ unsurprisingly ]. I just wish we knew the real scenario. If the young woman has never had a job, maybe she has no confidence in her abilities and is frightened at the thought of interviewing for jobs, in which case a loving man would support and encourage her on her journey to the work place. We only have part of the story here.
6 years.... its not unreasonable to believe she thought they were getting married. She wanted to be a housewife and for years he has shown her that he was okay with that by taking care of her, cosigning on loans, and funding her life. That says in every way possible "I am okay being the working husband who takes care of my stay at home wife." You can’t just up and change someone's lifestyle and be confused why they are resistant. This should have been talked about before moving in, combining finances, cosigning cars. And for those who are gonna comment: sHeS noT a WiFe sheS a GiRLfRieNd... 1. After 6 yrs I guarantee she thought he would propose any day now 2. They were living like a pseudo-married couple for nearly 6 years. A few more yrs and they would've been married by common law in some places 3. He's in control of when she becomes a wife. I'm really not tryna take her side but she showed up in their relationship just as she planned to show up as a wife. She was honest. He went along with something he wasnt comfortable with meaning he wasn't being honest or assertive about the kind of relationship he wanted. There's nothing wrong with the lifestyle that either one of them wanted. She's not a leech for wanting to be a homemaker and he's not less of a man for wanting her to contribute. They are simply just not aligned in their relationship goals.
I disagree. 6 years staying at home is gonna create more problem. My girlfriend of 8 years wants to be a housewife too and until then she is working and taking care of herself and saving money with me. She hasn’t been good with money however she listens to what I have to say. Maybe not on purpose since this couple started dating young, but the girlfriend is a bum for not doing anything for 6 years. My gf cooks, cleans, taking care of me and work ( I do the same for other things ), got a college degree, and we also started dating when we were in our 19-20
I am not sure what the laws are in the USA but in Canada, couples who live together are considered Spouses by law after one (1) year of living together. Six years is not a girlfriend.
@@Hai.tinh.583not all relationships are the same. I think they come from a conservative background and are a bit well to do. The fact that her parents immediately took on her debt says that her and her family aren’t leeches. I think she was hoping to live the conservative trad lifestyle with him.
Guy just was fed up for the long time that she didn't contribute, and finally got the catalyst from the video to actually stand up for himself and do something. Good! Dont fund the lifestyle if stay at home girlfriends, in most cases they are leeches!
A "homemaker" without children and coupled with a young man is guaranteed to hardly be doing much. Most young men living on their own easily handle cooking and cleaning and necessary maintenance and errands. A childless couple with one calling themselves a "homemaker" makes absolutely no sense, unless there's some serious issues with the layabout.
My wife is a homemaker, and we have no children. She had a stroke in 2020 and has since been diagnosed with various heart, gastrointestinal, bone, connective tissue, reproductive, and nerve disorders. I’ll grant you that you’re probably correct with your statement 99/100 times, or 999,999/1,000,000 times, but I can tell you there’s no layabout issue in my home.
And this is why we don’t 100% financially rely on a boyfriend ladies. She thought she found her golden goose and he woke up and realized he doesn’t want to be that anymore.
Probably was telling her that he could take care of her. Money Probably got slim and he asked her to get a job and she was like that wasn't part of the deal. But she still should have had some income with no kids and a car.
This guy says he listened to Dave and then combined finances before even getting married, never talked to her seriously about money and planned on renting instead of selling a property with good equity that he no longer needs. I think he needs to listen to Dave for a little while longer
To let us know his background and the household he was raised in. How you grow up decides a lot of factors in our character when we become adults. What he was letting us know is that he is not used to someone in his life doing nothing for themselves.
The wife can add value to the family without an outside income,if she is taking care of a farm homestead or helping with a family business . If the wife is cooking from scratch ,mowing the lawn,keeping the home clean and organized ,shopping for the deals for necessities it can add more value than a low paying job. It only takes a few meals out because ‘I am too tired to cook’ to erase the advantage of an income. I don’t think that is the situation in this case though,sounds like she just doesn’t want to work .
people commenting didn't even listen to this guy..... he created the situation, had a moment, and then just flipped his life upside down. Financially mature, yes, emotionally - no.
Yeah, he still sounds emotionally kinda off. Why would he move back to Missouri after breaking up with his gf when he has work, etc. and other ties to Michigan. Just sounds weird.
Times are changing but a lot of guys make so much more than their significant other that it's negligible. If he loved her it shouldn't have been a complete deal breaker.
He may have made the right choice but his enabling decisions didn't push her to become independent. It kinda late when he added her to his checking account, signed for her to get a car, and moved her out of her parents home. This is the perfect example of a person who is young and didn't make the best decisions overall thank God they didn't have any children through this relationship.
This couple wasn't married, but he had no problem being catered on and having a clean home. That's why any woman who is not married and is living with a person to please get a job and save your money and have your own account. Because see what just happened to the young lady. Prime example!
100% agree. This couple wasn't married, but she had no problem having a free home, when his money could have been spent on a maid and a cook. 2/wk, is not expensive compared to a stay-at-home.-girl. That's why any woman who is not married and is living with a person to please get a job and save your money and have your own account. Because see what just happened to him: he wasted money on a stay-at-home girl instead of a maid and a cook. He could have SO much more net worth. Prime example!
@@slchance8839 this is why it’s a l6ie that m4n are peo5viders. It’s a tran5scatuonal relationship where w5m4n always lose more. But m4n will cr5y in d6v7rce court as if she did nothing 😂
I’ve been married for 6 years, I’ve never not had a full time job. I have no children, and would love to be a stay at home mom when the time comes (if it does), but until then…
@@gladylagy3565 ooh, so you think she made dinners just for herself, and he did his? and laundry, and cleaning up, scheduling handy man etc...you have such a :charming: mindset...i hope youre not marreid
Context is always key because this was really making me angry! Saying that homemakers need to put in and help with finances but yet it wasn't even about that it was about she was hoping with debt!! But yet this dude thinks He didn't have no part in it but he had all a part in it!! He was the one actually taking out the loans!! But yet you complain that she took it out? Dude stay single!!
Homemaking is for married couples. This couple was just playing house. And he set the standard that she didn’t have to work for six years. Now she has to and has a huge gap in her work experience. This entire situation is weird.
@@darylcansino Why would it be his fault when he stands up for not standing up before? How do you know? The man's heartbroken over it, of course he tried to make it work already and she didn't listen obviously.
Business is Business, Personal is Personal.....do NOT mix them. You can discuss both and should....just careful not to let the Personal influence the Business. If you co-signing a vehicle, make sure you can take over the payments Fully with NO stress of any kind from your side.....Else don't co-sign at all. Some people have no conscious in leaving you in Debt that was their fault. Regret is Bitter to the max.
I’m living for Ken’s bluntness! “I think your only mistake is not breaking up with her sooner!” “This is a 3rd date conversation! Why waste each other’s time?” I’m with you brother!
So how many kids did they have and what was she doing. Literally all your laundry, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, managing your lifestyle. That's contributing whether you like it or not.
? They don’t have kids. At such a young age, and she’s not a mom or wife…..she’s a leach who used his credit cards and got him to buy her a new car. Come on will ya. She needed the curb and to grow the hell up.
Exactly he makes only 90k how does he expect to have a wife to stay at home and take care of kids if he makes that now and can’t afford for 2 people with kid will be 3. It seems he used her to his benefit for 6 years but also if she didn’t want to find work and make some money so she used his money for whatever. Woman if you don’t have kids you have all the freedom to make money with a kid is more difficult to find job as a mom. Dads doesn’t matter because they are usually the head of the household and MAIN financial provider. So yea she should get e job before she has kids and then not work for few years or maybe work from home remote job until the kids are old enough for kindergarten which is 4-5. That is 1 year and then they start 1st grade. At that Point kid is more independent than a 3 month old Infant (yes after 3 months moms have to go back to work in USA , that’s the maternity leave in USA). If kid is in kindergarten all day, why does she need to stay home and do nothing. It takes 3-4 hours to clean a house and cook… what Is she doing with the rest of her time. At that time laundry doesn’t have to be done so often as when you have a new born. Once a week and laundry is done. This boy should man up and find better paying job 120k or more. More the better. Pick carefully who to date and marry. But also know that I Its better for YOUR family that the mom stay home and bond with the kids than some crazy stranger looking after them because you have no idea what is happening there, they could be abusing your child very very bad.
@@northgirl77My husband made much less when we first got married. We have three kids now and he still doesn’t make $120k, and I have been at home raising them this entire time. It requires a budget, agreement, and sacrifice.
@@northgirl77 You’re rambling. TLDR. Been a SAHM for ten years. Husband makes 2x now what he did when I stopped working, more than replacing my income. Added 3 kids to the 2 original. It’s possible. Budget and save and stay out of debt.
She knew his family owned "multiple businesses" in Missouri. Of course she wasn't going to work. She thought she found a sugar daddy. Ignore women, acquire currency young man.
@@jessicabender1301 Because men with more money, higher happiness, healthy, etc, are more likely to get married. Correlation does not always imply causation. Y'all keep qouting that stupid ass statistic like women are out here marrying bums.
I feel like we have to hear her side of the story before we can make a judgment. Imagine she woke up every morning, made the bed, prepared breakfast, went and got groceries, scheduled repairs for the home, made lunch, and dinner, cleaned the entire home, looks good for him. When he got home, was a good companion, probably listen to him, whining all the time for six years. If she was a good homemaker, then, honestly it’s his loss, especially if he has the money to take care of her. It also depends on how much of a spender she wants, if he was only paying her car payments, and she was using that car to buy groceries and do other tasks that ultimately benefited the household. Nothing wrong with him, paying for them, he would’ve had to spend time doing them instead. Having someone to manage your home and provide companionship to you is not worthless. If you tried to pay for those services, it would be very expensive. I actually feel very sorry for the girl who sacrificed a large portion of her youth thinking that he would be someone she could depend on [because that’s how he made it feel for six years] then finding out that she was dumped because of a TikTok post. I hope she is able to get on her feet, build a career for herself, and never put in a similar situation again. I find the way Americans think to be very selfish, and exploitative of woman. It’s like they expect them to work, and provide 50% of the finances to the family, but then come home and cook, clean, get pregnant, give birth, raise the children, teach them for free! How come men don’t pay women for doing those tasks, if a man, were to pay equal market rate for a maid, a cook, a nanny, a driver, a surrogate mother, companionship, and private teacher for the children. It would be a lot more than the 50% that the woman had to contribute to the household.
Why the obsession with 50-50? Why should they both work then both split the home tasks? Why can’t each contribute to the house in a different way, work together to build a great home. The problem is men thinking everything that women do is worthless and easy work. They whine that’s it’s unfair that women get to relax at home while they work. Then demand women get jobs and split costs. When the women work, unfortunately most men don’t want to help with home tasks because they feel too tired after a long day.
Agreed. I think they both come from a conservative background and are a bit well to do. The fact that her parents immediately took on her debt says that her and her family aren’t leeches. I think she was hoping to live the conservative trad lifestyle with him.
I am glad I started listening to Dave as a college student. It got me to discuss money my wife (then girlfriend) early on. Being on the same page about finances is a big part of why we rarely argue.
I imagine that if she genuinely put a ton of effory into being a homemaker, having great meals prepared every night, etc., and kept herself busy doing volunteer work or such, he would not have minded the lack of income. His real problem was feeling like the only useful person in the relationship.
Why would he miss her?? She was leeching off him for SIX YEARS. He provided her for as if she were a helpless child. Men don’t love or miss women that leech off them. Hello!
The 3rd date conversation about money is a great idea. If you can have a healthy, level-headed talk about money and that you're both on the same page so early on, that's one good indicator of a healthy marriage down the line.
Sounds like there's something else that he is leaving out? Why rent out the home. Just to move someplace else and pay rent? Which is more likely then his mortgage. In the 6 years of dating, he never talked to her about getting a job?
@@08baby25he’s 25. They started dating when he was 19 and was probably ‘so in love’. He was blinded by that. Happens to a lot of people. He was also hoping she would change and she never did.
A homemaker is very useful especially when you have kids. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, chauffeuring, shopping, nursing, tutoring, etc. Paying strangers to do all these things would cost you a fortune.
I agree. The comments saying the girl was doing nothing have no idea how much money other people spend to hire others to do things a stay at home girlfriend does. Labor can be emotional, sexual, physical and etc. She was probably giving him all of these services for free.
I guess I'm too practical. My husband and I talked about our views on money when we were just friends, before we even thought about dating, as well as the politics, religion, and children questions. We talked about them again in a specific way right before we got engaged, but I would not recommend waiting months to even broach those topics. That is a lot of wasted time and energy!
"I feel like I'm choosing my finances over her." No, you are choosing your worldview over her worldview. And that's okay. It's best to be with somebody who is inline with your worldview. Things like finances, religion, work ethic, etc.
He started dating this girl at 19 and probably didn’t know these were important deciding factors in a relationship.
free p@$$y ain't free...
THANK YOU! I’m just happy he learned at the young age at 25
That's how a lot of young love is.
At 19 there’s only one thing on a young man’s mind.
True he seems to be maturing
Debt has become a massive turn-off for me
Huh?
@@katyedwards3935 if your partner has debt they aren't taking care of then joining finances will drag you down. If they can't take care of their own finances then why would you give them a voice into your finances. Relationships are supposed to be a mutually beneficial where you both take care of each other.
@@katyedwards3935 He means he judges women by their amount of debt and their attitude toward it. He's right to do that.
@@drjlrust He's just doing his job.
Congratulations
While i appreciate full time mom, i cant appreciate a full time girlfriend. Its a recipe for disaster. If a person does nothing for 6 years, it says a lot about her character.
Except that he doesn't sound right in the head, so I would love to hear her side of the story.
Sharon Ramsey hasn't worked even though all her kids left home for college
But she was married, not a live in girlfriend. @siva47931
It depends what kind of "full time" is: a full time spending useless lazy bag or full time taking care of family and house.
No. No way. “Girlfriend” isn’t a job. I don’t care how much housework she does. That is not okay. A person cannot just quit working, unless they are being taken care of by another person. It’s not just room and board a person has to worry about. There is retirement, and healthcare, among other things, that needs to be considered. No employer is taking into consideration how much housework goes into being a stay at home anything. Marriage means she is legally entitled to half the marital assets. That is her compensation for staying at home. How well she does staying home is irrelevant. Being a girlfriend who stays at home means she is just unemployed. There is a radical difference between a stay at home wife and a stay at home girlfriend.
This is why I was grossed out when I heard about the stay at home girlfriend trend. Never put yourself in a position where you are so vulnerable and dependent. This is a lifestyle that might seem nice, but if he decides he doesn’t want you anymore, you have nothing.
I hope for both of them that they take this breakup as an opportunity to mature.
yeah, but at least she got 6 years off without having to work. i didn't work for 3 years and living off savings. wouldn't mind if my loser exboyfriend would have paid for my 3 years off, but he actually lived with me so i was financing his life even though i wasn't working and paying rent. he even used my car. i kicked him out and stopped letting him use the car. he broke up because he just wanted to use me for apartment and car. would have been nice if i could have actually lived in someone's apartment and used their car for the last 3 years so i didn't have to use savings. but, nothing is free in life. you give up peace and freedom if you don't pay yourself.
Agreed, but sounds like mommy and daddy are there to save her.
She was a professional leech for 6 years.
It wasn’t a matter of him not wanting her anymore. It was her being a horrible person
@annaneu9954 if he doesn't want her anymore, at least she enjoyed some bill free time off and if she wanted to could have worked to save money and let him pay all bills. Other women work, pay all for themselves, no time off, and still get dumped. She wins by getting time off, no bills, and can save her own money since she's not paying bills.
Yup. And if your boyfriend allows you to be stay at home without marrying you he doesn’t care about you, and you’re naive for thinking that’s fine.
He said "I feel like I'm choosing my finances over her."
Well, sometimes that is necessary for survival.
To be fair, she did exactly that long before he did.
What’s easier to replace a career and a life or a girlfriend/wife? The girlfriend/wife, of course. Women are a dime a dozen, as are men in the case of women.
He can visit her...
@@jugendamthamburg-ggkonform381 Why? “What’s done cannot be undone” (Lady Macbeth).
No. You did exactly right. Never sell yourself short. Before you reach another decade in your life, you’ll be a WHOLE lot wiser. Don’t fall into this trap again.
A friend of mine was in a situation like this. 2 weeks after they broke up the other half got a job. For some people the best way to help them is to stop enabling them.
Your comment is the best. People need to learn.
💯
This guy is extremely lucky!!
Lucky he didn’t get her pregnant. Lucky that her parents are willing to take over her car loan. Lucky she cooperated and just left the house without any conflict!! This guy better reflect on this and not move another girl in to his home!!!
Marriages have a much higher chance of success (like 70% higher) if there's no sex before marriage.
Find a church. Lutherans are nice.
The fact that she did cooperate shows she is at least not a vindictive person. Finding a partner now that has proper ethics and morals is extremely difficult nowadays, As the host said - He co signed for everything. I think both parties were wrong here but I think he has lost something over a problem that may not have existed if he had just put his foot down and sat down and spoke to his partner
Or just date someone who's working.
Life a trial of learning.
Why would she pay a mortgage on a house that she's not on the deed
Guy made the best decision ever, he dodged a bullet here.
more like he did her a favor and SHE dodged a bullet
@@doctorpostinglike why? You mean it would make her get a job
Women aren't supposed to work. Guy is just greedy and weird. I'd never trade my wife for any amount of money. He also could've just asked her to not buy an expensive car.
Remember, career women are the adulterers and the most likely group to initiate a divorce. It takes a special kind of crazy to want that lifestyle as a woman.
Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs ...imporant for sure ! 👍
SHE dodged a bullet
This guy made the right decision. Finally a guy that’s not a sucker
He is a drama queen. I would love to hear her side of the story. He is grandiose and bizarre.
@@drn13355I'm sure you would Daniel bet you'd treat her better too huh?
The reverse of buyer’s remorse
He’s brainwashed. Like you.
@@drn13355yeah, the way he talks about her, I'm glad she got away.
“Don’t combine your lives before you are ALIGNED in life” that’s good George! 🙌🏾👏🏾
Wrong, he ended his relationship because was the right thing to do, Dave Ramsey just give him the wake up call he needed.
That relationship should have ended years ago.
I agree with 3rd date. Don't wait until you both are so invested in the relationship that you want to make excuses for staying together!
@joanarc7963Bingo.
Very wise way of looking at it!
@@andrearace1168 or you can look at their car. Choose the date with a Range Rover, Mercedes, CRV or Camry.
@@jeretso While I do love Honda and Toyota, they could be renting a very expensive version. I also don't believe cars say as much about a person as many men might think.
*The very first conversation is the exact time to talk about it* , because he cannot replace time .
Plus , he would probably be wasting money on useless dates .
"Why waste each other's time? What are we doing?"😂
I like that, it's to the point.
He cracks me up!
Sex. He had problems finding a gf
@@specialagentorange4329how do you know? we're you one?
I think this is a good thing. That woman should be given a chance to learn to take care of herself before she decides to be a homemaker.
Nobody is stopping women from learning to take care of themselves. Men and society actually encourage ye to do so and men don't have to do everything for ye.
@@IrishFrank22 Some girls come from families where are they are not encouraged to learn to be independent. There is nothing wrong with being dependent as long as you have the knowledge and understanding that you know how to be independent if needed. I personally think it's a good thing to be a homemaker but just in case the arrangement doesn't work out a woman must always have a plan B. I think it's important that this woman has that opportunity to be independent even if it's only for a little while before she actually gets married. Some men also have this issue. They live off their parents too long and never actually learn how to be independent. It's not healthy for anyone to not be aware of what they're capable of.
I completely agree with you!! This was me! My parents discouraged me from getting a job in high school and afterwards for various reasons. I am now married and more independent today, but still trying to unlearn and develop my independence as a woman and a wife. It has been very challenging breaking that mold my parents set for me.
@@The-Oneness11 99% of women in the west have all the freedom they want. After they hit over 30, they are usually crying on social media on how hard it is to do everything by themselves. Using the excuse women are not encouraged is just that, an excuse. My mother kept me down but I knew as a man I had to go and learn to be independent myself. You have to be self motivated.
@@IrishFrank22HAHAH men cant even take care of themselves what are you on about?
This kid learned some valuable life lessons. Many others should listen and learn from his mistakes.
Theres nothing wrong with wanting a breadwinner/homemaker dynamic but it’s for married people with the same values. Living together and having a bill-paying-bf/ stay-at-home gf dynamic for 6 years is…. not wise and left them both burned.
Married ppl have legal protections so if one wakes up and decides to kick the other out they legally cant bc itd be a marital home. Whereas a bf or gf can put all your stuff on the curb at the drop of a hat. If you take out debt for an unmarried partner, it’s just your debt with only your name on it. Big L
underline multiple😂
My dear the first step is dating then girlfriend then fiancé then Married
@@Anonyme67 Yeah you don’t have to cohabitate and get loans for each other for 6 years before marriage
Honestly being a permanent homemaker without even having any kids is not a productive way of life. One should strive for more in life is my honest opinion, or to find a partner that wants to do more than just doing some house chores.
It's fine for a little bit, like a transition period, like if your partner just moved to your place, just lost their job or just finished their degree or whatever but again this shouldn't be a permanent state IMO.
No Marriage only financially incentivizes the woman to be disloyal and file for divorce. Only an absolute fool would get married with the current legal system.
5:47 You guys combined your life before you were even aligned in life. Whew.... Take a breath. That's a great nugget George!
Homemaker without children is wild
Women love to make easy chores and errands into arduous tasks.
Would you rather spend your weekends doing household chores because you both work or spend your weekends doing fun things with your spouse because one of you doesn't work and is able to do those during the week?
@@brianparrett114not married
If there’s no kids then there’s too much free time for issues or visitors to stop by when you’re not home. No thanks to a kid less home maker.
@@brianparrett114dude. It’s not that hard. 😂. I work 70 hours, study, have 3 cats, commute to all jobs. And STILL hav enough time to clean and have fun.
Im in the same situation as him. My ex of 10 years was a financial liability to myself for the last 4 years. I love her. But she didnt want to work for 4 years. She has gambling problem. She has debts, depression, and stress. Her life is messed up. She needs help. I have been trying to get out of debt for the last 6 years, but i couldn't! she was a burden for me. I finally broke up with her 6 months ago. It's hard but needs to be done.
Yep. You can’t fix someone. If they aren’t going in the same direction as you, then it isn’t the right relationship.
You held out for ten years? What a waste of time, money, and effort.
@joanarc7963 Why did you stay that long? But better late than never.
don't ever simp for another woman ever again!
@bruha321 Easy to say when you are not in love. She is a kind and good person. She stayed with me when i hit rock bottom 7 years ago. She is pretty, and she can date any men she wanted. She was influenced by her mom and brother. They are gamblers. Not easy to leave when the person you love needs help.
Nicholas, you did the right thing. From now on be smart, don't tell the girl how much you make. Girl has to be working, aligned with your $$ and faith values at a minimum. Preferably debt free. Sell the house if the ex doesn't leave you alone.
yeah he sounds like the typa guy who drives a 2012 mini cooper
Omg he does. He sounds like a man who will not be successful in today's dating market. Lol
Oh man I hate that car 🚗
😂
My wife has a mini cooper. I haven’t driven out of the parking lot. Terrible car, but she likes it. Happy wife, happy life. But if it was my choice, a mini cooper is an absolute terrible purchase. Notice I didn’t use the term investment.
As my father would put it. Big wheels, no spokes.
In the whole conversation I didn't hear a word about LOVE...
She was in love. He wanted money.
So he's OK with her staying at home if they were married. So why didn't he put a ring on it?
This! I’m so confused!
He said he's ok with her staying at home if they had a kid. Maybe one or the other doesn't want, or can't have, a kid.
Also that wouldn't resolve the issue of her being irresponsible with money.
Men want you to work like slave even if you have a kid with him or you are seriously injured, thank god I got divorced nobody is bother me or my daughter, and my injured is healing good.
It's not just about staying at home. More importantly, it's about being aligned on finances. This includes making money, saving, investing, spending, debt... etc. It's clear they weren't aligned. He sounds like she just wanted to be taken care of regardless of whether she was contributing anything or not and didn't have financial discipline. He waited too long IMO.
@@thelvadam5269exactly, things are so expensive we can't afford childcare so better being home with my child
I have been a homemaker without kids for years. We had to adopt at one point after the waiting.
I increased our income with my ability to buy stuff at lower prices, even if it was bread. Never in my wildest dreams I thought about going out and buy expensive stuff like I had a sugar daddy!!
Being home is not the problem, acting like you won the lottery is
Exactly and he’s not sticking up for his boundaries & values (living debt free) i am a homemaker for 23+ years PER my husband’s request. It was a HUGE adjustment for me. And a point of contention for over a decade. I wanted to work & contribute.
My husband kept assuring me that I WAS contributing.
But this caller’s main problem was he was doing all of this for a girlfriend.
I hope he gets clear on his boundaries before he enters another relationship
That depends on if the Partner agrees with it.
Many Partners don't want a homemaker and in that case that's that. End of discussion.
We don't know if he was fine with her being a homemaker and then suddenly kicked her out without warning or if he asked her and she said she wants to stay one and isn't willing to take a Job.
That's much more realistic. You don't kick out your 6 year partner out of nowhere without even asking.
So if she refused to go work then no... That is a huge problem. No matter how much or how little she spends. If he doesn't agree with that that's the end of the relationship.
Something is off about this story- I feel there is something missing. Something is off...🧐🧐🧐
Sure but the things he said like no job and getting into debt I don't think that's a lie. She is a mooch
I think maybe he's one of those co-dependent types. He's talking about moving back to Missouri after he broke up with his gf. Just seems odd.
I didn’t know collision is an industry before this call.
Me neither, but it makes complete sense when I think about it.
Where do you think cars go when they get into accidents?
@@joeplanter7959 Narnia
@@joeplanter7959 THE COLLISION INDUSTRY
There’s a ton of money in it too if you’re good
It's one thing to have a wife and mother stay home with the kids....it's quite another for a young person, man or woman, to not work. That's weird. For the first 3 years of our marriage, my wife and I both worked full time. Then, I went back to school, worked part time, and my wife kept working full time even after she had our first child. My wife's last day of work was the Friday before I graduated and she has not worked outside of the home since (26 years). I am not "dragging her along"- we are full partners and all income is our income even though the check has my name on it. When Dave said that, I think he was talking about attitude, not income.
You are married. And your wife worked and has an awesome work ethic. You were partners while you were in school even. That's a big difference between your wife being a homemaker before you even have children and staying that way while you're going to school.
Good.
This girl probably when from mom and dad's to his house. She didn't learn how to grow up, pay bills. And mom and dad are bailing her out again with the car. Sounds like breaking up is for the best.
Guy doesn't know the difference between dating & living together!! The eye rolls of the panelist Nicholas was priceless!!
He made the right decision. Don't do it again. You need to be equally yoked with your other half so that means shared vision and values, no matter who brings in the income or how much.
You're not choosing finances over her, you're choosing responsibility and your own sanity over her.
Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs ...imporant for sure ! 👍
He was supporting her on her behavior for 6 years and now he is blaming only her? Did he ever tried to discuss with her that he want some changes or it is over? Or he just used her for 6 years and when he was ready to move back to his wealthy family he just kicked her to the curb with first excuse he found? He literally said he broke up with her after 6 years after watching video. I am actually sorry about this girl. This is just his side of the story and I am not buying it.
It was the only relationship he’s been in. Never had any prior experience for anything. So it’s just most cause he was a beta guy
Nah, she's a bum. He recognized and finally got the puppy love out of his mind and 100% made the right move.
It's sad for woman to loose 6 years, but I think she dodges the bullet. Stupid guy if he changes quickly like that. Not adjusting changes slowly and considering people,but like that. Something wrong with his psychic.
So right. I get a bad feeling about this guy.
Right? He signed the papers!! Why is he signing for loans for someone he’s not married to and then blaming her??
This couple absolutely made some seriously bad decisions. Her staying home while they weren’t married is absolutely delusional. Him allowing her to move in with him and not work is also absolutely delusional. They don’t need to be together. I’m glad he is doing it now instead 20 years from now. I get that he wants someone who is accomplished, and has goals. In order to find that, he can’t let women move in with him, and just live off him. He needs to think about what he wants his future to look like, and that woman needs to think about her own financial security.
What is funny, that males don't think, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning the place, grocery shopping, is NOT WORKING! One man I dated, hired a housekeeper to clean his place, took his laundry out to be done, folded, went to restaurants, rather than cook fo himself. All chores required him to PAY and extra for eating out. The woman does that. NO WORK.
Reading betwee the lines: She was waaaayyyy out of his league, he got her as a trophy, and took care of her to inflate his own ego and show off to his friends but then he got buyers remorse.
I think she is one of the rare girls who actually knows how to be a wife. And the dude is a spoiled child who doesn't understand what a good thing looks like.
Like my ex wife.
Yep
Dude just called up to brag. He has achieved financial success but he definitely had a helping hand from his family.
You don't know that.
Why does he need a "homemaker?" He has no kids and is a young single guy.
Please say it again: in CAPITAL LETTERS; in bold ; underlined and with a gigantic question mark.
Yeah really isn’t much to do in the household when there are no kids messing up and breaking things.
Cuz the 🍆 don’t shine itself…..
He didn't. He was being used for free rent and a meal ticket for the better part of a decade
maybe it's a bed warmer he was ok with for a while
I'm a single man who cooks, cleans, does all his household duties, and debt free. Having a gf with no kids who doesn't work is crazy to me when I can do everything a homemaker can without the burden of taking care of another human financially
I can't figure out why any woman would want to put herself in such a vulnerable place that if he gets tired of her refusing to work (his words) he kicks her out and now she has no job, and no place but mommy and daddy's house, and have mommy and daddy refinance her car so ex doesn't sell it on her.
Right? There is zero point to them. Lazy, entitled
Same situation here, i had the mistake of having ex gf that did nothing and was unable to keep a job. She did not even do dishes LOL. "But i can fix her" ....oh oh, expensive lesson. 😬
@@RiverWoods111 Because if he doesn't do that they get money 💰 with no work.
If you view taking care of a woman as a “financial burden” then yes, you should absolutely stay single don’t make the mistake of getting married
But there are men who genuinely love to provide for their woman. Both granddads, my dad and my brother all feel this way. It gives them pleasure, it gives them a purpose. It’s so important for men to feel like they have a purpose in life otherwise they will feel uninspired and useless. My brother is a huge foodie he loves to go out with his gf show her the best restaurants. Sure, he can do that by himself or with friends but it just doesn’t feel the same way. My dad has a thing for buying my mom jewelry. I don’t know what it is exactly - I guess he just enjoys it. My grandfathers took care of not only their wives and kids but extended family members as well. Maybe that was their love language but they certainly didn’t view it as a burden. It filled them with joy. We’re from Eastern Europe and I know American men are raised differently from European men. It’s all about your mindset. Happily single men should remain single and happy. A good woman with the opposite mindset will also find your mentality burdensome both parties need to be in alignment
So she was a stay at home girlfriend? Nicholas ain't no simp XD
Glad she got away
Machinery and tech has made home chores easy peasy. Running water. Fridges. Clothing outsourced. Cars. Relative ease compared with times past.
@@kbanghartGlad he got rid of her before she was entitled to HIS assets.
@@carlosmiro4932 glad she got away
first time a non simp ever called this show
What an unusual call. It's never good for a relationship when a couple are on two different budgets and have two different sets of goals.
Their synchronized reaction at 1:46 is hilarious 😂
So a homemaker without children? She was a bum
She was a trophy girlfriend or maybe a socialite or smt. 😂
Was ?
Discrimination
Idk my aunt does this for my uncle. He works she doesn't but he literally doesn't have to even put his pants on himself if he didn't want to lol. She cooks every single meal, from scratch mostly too, she cleans the whole home, and even does outside work too gardening and such, she physically pays all the bills cuz he just doesn't wanna be bothered. I mean when I say this man doesn't even have to breathe for himself outside of his 9 to 5 I ain't lying lol. Every dynamic is different.
@@chenanigans Yeah that's fair, I get what you're saying. Mad respect to your aunt
This is on him. He allowed her to live with him and offered to pay for everything. Why wouldn’t she take him up on that? She’s probably young too. Imagine spending 6 years with a guy you think is going to protect and take care of you and then get rug pulled like that. It sounds to me like this guy thinks he’s a big shot now and can do better. I’m sure she did more than clean the house. It’s a lot easier to be successful as a man when you have the support of a good woman.
Right? Breaking up may have been right, but he was a jerk too. He let her think it was ok for six years.
Yup she will never trust another man. But she will get the chance to find another partner. He may not.
@@jenniferpearce1052that’s what happens when you get in a relationship at 18 and don’t know anything.
People shouldn’t shack up and play house, period. You reap what you sow. They used each other and were not engaged or married. There was no commitment there. Guess what? People who live with each other before marriage end up breaking up at a higher rate than people who don’t live together before marriage. Facts.
@@jenniferpearce1052 He repeatedly told her to get a job he said, and she didn't want a job.
So he was 19 when he shacked up with this girl [ probably younger than him!], used her like a wife with no apparent intention to get married and start a family. Now he’s older and has changed, as we all do as we mature, he’s got rid of her because she didn’t have a job or [ apparently] want one. Did they ever really discuss this like two adults ? So now he’s missing the free sex and coming home to a clean and tidy home, dinner made, laundry done etc etc. [ Assuming naturally that this is how she spent her time?] . On the other hand, he may have been quite happy for her to stay at home and make everything nice for him and she enjoyed it , but then he started to resent the fact he had to go to work each day but she didn’t. Or maybe she wasn’t good at homemaking , spent a lot of time lazing around, visiting friends, spending money on herself and that started to annoy him [ unsurprisingly ]. I just wish we knew the real scenario. If the young woman has never had a job, maybe she has no confidence in her abilities and is frightened at the thought of interviewing for jobs, in which case a loving man would support and encourage her on her journey to the work place.
We only have part of the story here.
Agreed, lots of questions left unanswered.
He made the right choice. He'll be so much better off in life thinking with his big head and not the little one.
If only more men realized this!!!!
Sometimes the little head has good ideas.
Hahahaha
@@benclark1376Very seldom if ever.
6 years.... its not unreasonable to believe she thought they were getting married. She wanted to be a housewife and for years he has shown her that he was okay with that by taking care of her, cosigning on loans, and funding her life. That says in every way possible "I am okay being the working husband who takes care of my stay at home wife." You can’t just up and change someone's lifestyle and be confused why they are resistant. This should have been talked about before moving in, combining finances, cosigning cars.
And for those who are gonna comment: sHeS noT a WiFe sheS a GiRLfRieNd...
1. After 6 yrs I guarantee she thought he would propose any day now
2. They were living like a pseudo-married couple for nearly 6 years. A few more yrs and they would've been married by common law in some places
3. He's in control of when she becomes a wife.
I'm really not tryna take her side but she showed up in their relationship just as she planned to show up as a wife. She was honest. He went along with something he wasnt comfortable with meaning he wasn't being honest or assertive about the kind of relationship he wanted.
There's nothing wrong with the lifestyle that either one of them wanted. She's not a leech for wanting to be a homemaker and he's not less of a man for wanting her to contribute. They are simply just not aligned in their relationship goals.
Very thoughtful comment and I agree. He should have discussed these issues earlier and either married or broke up with her a long time ago.
She didn't want to work. That's the massive red flag. Yes, she was a leech.
I disagree. 6 years staying at home is gonna create more problem. My girlfriend of 8 years wants to be a housewife too and until then she is working and taking care of herself and saving money with me. She hasn’t been good with money however she listens to what I have to say. Maybe not on purpose since this couple started dating young, but the girlfriend is a bum for not doing anything for 6 years. My gf cooks, cleans, taking care of me and work ( I do the same for other things ), got a college degree, and we also started dating when we were in our 19-20
I am not sure what the laws are in the USA but in Canada, couples who live together are considered Spouses by law after one (1) year of living together. Six years is not a girlfriend.
@@Hai.tinh.583not all relationships are the same. I think they come from a conservative background and are a bit well to do. The fact that her parents immediately took on her debt says that her and her family aren’t leeches. I think she was hoping to live the conservative trad lifestyle with him.
george and ken are so good together
This call left me uncomfortable. I didn’t like the caller. There’s way more to this story.
The sound of the voice. . .
@@arielsea9087he’s now an incel
he sounds like a real man that voice alone would drive me out the door. they are giving him good advice.
Guy just was fed up for the long time that she didn't contribute, and finally got the catalyst from the video to actually stand up for himself and do something. Good!
Dont fund the lifestyle if stay at home girlfriends, in most cases they are leeches!
All cases these women are leeches. No reason at all for a girlfriend to stay at home.
What if she was cleaning and cooking for him for years saving him time, that means nothing to you?
@@user-lt1jd1ye3vcooking and cleaning is easy lol. Every single person in the world does it plus works. It would be different if they had kids.
@@user-lt1jd1ye3v She was still spending money that they didn't have, and wasn't interested in saving...
@@user-lt1jd1ye3vHer labor didn't cover a fifth of the mortgage payment. She's easy to replace!
A "homemaker" without children and coupled with a young man is guaranteed to hardly be doing much. Most young men living on their own easily handle cooking and cleaning and necessary maintenance and errands.
A childless couple with one calling themselves a "homemaker" makes absolutely no sense, unless there's some serious issues with the layabout.
Ramen noodles and a nasty bathroom.
Yeah reality has it's work cut out for both of them
I'm a homemaker without children because of my health problem. It doesn't mean I stay home and do nothing. 😅
@@jumpiam8477I feel like that’s the exception not the rule.
My wife is a homemaker, and we have no children. She had a stroke in 2020 and has since been diagnosed with various heart, gastrointestinal, bone, connective tissue, reproductive, and nerve disorders. I’ll grant you that you’re probably correct with your statement 99/100 times, or 999,999/1,000,000 times, but I can tell you there’s no layabout issue in my home.
And this is why we don’t 100% financially rely on a boyfriend ladies. She thought she found her golden goose and he woke up and realized he doesn’t want to be that anymore.
YES
Earn your OWN money
Let him know you don’t need him financially
Lol he loves spouting out his credentials but the guy isn't ready for a relationship. At all.
two sides to the story. He has strung her along for 6 years without marrying her
Probably was telling her that he could take care of her. Money Probably got slim and he asked her to get a job and she was like that wasn't part of the deal. But she still should have had some income with no kids and a car.
Why do you think she was the one who wanted to marry?
This guy says he listened to Dave and then combined finances before even getting married, never talked to her seriously about money and planned on renting instead of selling a property with good equity that he no longer needs. I think he needs to listen to Dave for a little while longer
Why is it important that we know what your parents own or do?
To let us know his background and the household he was raised in. How you grow up decides a lot of factors in our character when we become adults. What he was letting us know is that he is not used to someone in his life doing nothing for themselves.
He gives me spoiled third child vibes.
Can't be a homemaker and have no kids, that's laziness. He did the right move undoing what he tolerated for a while.
The wife can add value to the family without an outside income,if she is taking care of a farm homestead or helping with a family business . If the wife is cooking from scratch ,mowing the lawn,keeping the home clean and organized ,shopping for the deals for necessities it can add more value than a low paying job. It only takes a few meals out because ‘I am too tired to cook’ to erase the advantage of an income. I don’t think that is the situation in this case though,sounds like she just doesn’t want to work .
He woke up before it was too late. Bravo.
people commenting didn't even listen to this guy..... he created the situation, had a moment, and then just flipped his life upside down. Financially mature, yes, emotionally - no.
Yeah, he still sounds emotionally kinda off. Why would he move back to Missouri after breaking up with his gf when he has work, etc. and other ties to Michigan. Just sounds weird.
He's an idiot. Can't believe people are defending him
Times are changing but a lot of guys make so much more than their significant other that it's negligible. If he loved her it shouldn't have been a complete deal breaker.
What does it mean?
She brought NOTHING to to the table financially!
@@specialagentorange4329 and your wife does?
He may have made the right choice but his enabling decisions didn't push her to become independent. It kinda late when he added her to his checking account, signed for her to get a car, and moved her out of her parents home. This is the perfect example of a person who is young and didn't make the best decisions overall thank God they didn't have any children through this relationship.
Wishing everyone a blessed happy mother's day praise God praying for Everyone everyday God bless you all
This couple wasn't married, but he had no problem being catered on and having a clean home. That's why any woman who is not married and is living with a person to please get a job and save your money and have your own account. Because see what just happened to the young lady. Prime example!
It was a transactual relationship. He was paying for sex and a clean house 🤣
Exactly he just kicked her out. I definitely feel like there’s more to this story
100% agree. This couple wasn't married, but she had no problem having a free home, when his money could have been spent on a maid and a cook. 2/wk, is not expensive compared to a stay-at-home.-girl. That's why any woman who is not married and is living with a person to please get a job and save your money and have your own account. Because see what just happened to him: he wasted money on a stay-at-home girl instead of a maid and a cook. He could have SO much more net worth. Prime example!
@@slchance8839 this is why it’s a l6ie that m4n are peo5viders. It’s a tran5scatuonal relationship where w5m4n always lose more. But m4n will cr5y in d6v7rce court as if she did nothing 😂
@@slchance8839 but m4n cr6y in the d5vorce court as if the w4fe did nothing.
I guess it depends on how she occupies her time as a "homemaker".
The question is, would she still be with this guy if he earned half of what he does.
What if he didn't earn anything and was also homemaker? 😂
Aren’t m5n providers though? A few months back, m5n were having mass hy5steria about women working and not being trad wives 😂
I’ve been married for 6 years, I’ve never not had a full time job. I have no children, and would love to be a stay at home mom when the time comes (if it does), but until then…
This man is on a mission...and a little obsessed with the dave Ramsey way of life... Dave's way or the highway......Yeee to the f******* HAW man!! 🤠
I want to hear her side of the story. Being a homemaker is a job.
No the fuck its not. When there isn't kids .
@@gladylagy3565 ooh, so you think she made dinners just for herself, and he did his? and laundry, and cleaning up, scheduling handy man etc...you have such a :charming: mindset...i hope youre not marreid
@@annako22lol. That shouldn't take 8hrs everyday!
Without kids? 😂
So you're a lazy mooch too, ok
Context is always key because this was really making me angry! Saying that homemakers need to put in and help with finances but yet it wasn't even about that it was about she was hoping with debt!! But yet this dude thinks He didn't have no part in it but he had all a part in it!! He was the one actually taking out the loans!! But yet you complain that she took it out? Dude stay single!!
Exactly!!!!!
Homemaking is for married couples. This couple was just playing house. And he set the standard that she didn’t have to work for six years. Now she has to and has a huge gap in her work experience.
This entire situation is weird.
He let it be this way for 6 years…I can’t believe all these comments blaming the girl 😆
@@darylcansino Why would it be his fault when he stands up for not standing up before? How do you know? The man's heartbroken over it, of course he tried to make it work already and she didn't listen obviously.
Ummm he made the money, he can take out loan if he want, she's taking loan out, using his money . Homemaker without kids, isn't hard at all .
Never knew collision tech was a thing, pretty cool! Also, playing house is not usually good long term.
Breaking up with someone over financial issues like this isn't a problem in itself. But this guy is just bristling with red flags.
Together for 6 years. Listens to a radio programme, rents out the house and kicks her out... no discussion... he sounds off as well.
He might be good at finances, but he sounds like a jerk.
How so?
Business is Business, Personal is Personal.....do NOT mix them. You can discuss both and should....just careful not to let the Personal influence the Business. If you co-signing a vehicle, make sure you can take over the payments Fully with NO stress of any kind from your side.....Else don't co-sign at all. Some people have no conscious in leaving you in Debt that was their fault. Regret is Bitter to the max.
dude sounds weird as all hell and did her a massive favor, yet most of these comments are praising him. shows how braindead the majority of ppl are.
I’m living for Ken’s bluntness!
“I think your only mistake is not breaking up with her sooner!”
“This is a 3rd date conversation! Why waste each other’s time?”
I’m with you brother!
So how many kids did they have and what was she doing. Literally all your laundry, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, managing your lifestyle. That's contributing whether you like it or not.
Zero kids, no job, she was a bum.
? They don’t have kids. At such a young age, and she’s not a mom or wife…..she’s a leach who used his credit cards and got him to buy her a new car. Come on will ya. She needed the curb and to grow the hell up.
They don’t have kids. That’s the problem cuz she’s leeching off of him
They're not married, not even engaged, and all she does is sit at home and spend his money? Insanity.
This guy isn’t ready to be a husband
She isn't ready to be a wife. Good decision to end it
Yeah wasn't ready to be a husband to her. There's a difference. I wouldn't have wifed her up either if she was racking up debt like that.
Exactly he makes only 90k how does he expect to have a wife to stay at home and take care of kids if he makes that now and can’t afford for 2 people with kid will be 3. It seems he used her to his benefit for 6 years but also if she didn’t want to find work and make some money so she used his money for whatever. Woman if you don’t have kids you have all the freedom to make money with a kid is more difficult to find job as a mom. Dads doesn’t matter because they are usually the head of the household and MAIN financial provider. So yea she should get e job before she has kids and then not work for few years or maybe work from home remote job until the kids are old enough for kindergarten which is 4-5. That is 1 year and then they start 1st grade. At that Point kid is more independent than a 3 month old
Infant (yes after 3 months moms have to go back to work in USA , that’s the maternity leave in USA). If kid is in kindergarten all day, why does she need to stay home and do nothing. It takes 3-4 hours to clean a house and cook… what
Is she doing with the rest of her time. At that time laundry doesn’t have to be done so often as when you have a new born. Once a week and laundry is done.
This boy should man up and find better paying job 120k or more. More the better. Pick carefully who to date and marry. But also know that I
Its better for YOUR family that the mom stay home and bond with the kids than some crazy stranger looking after them because you have no idea what is happening there, they could be abusing your child very very bad.
@@northgirl77My husband made much less when we first got married. We have three kids now and he still doesn’t make $120k, and I have been at home raising them this entire time.
It requires a budget, agreement, and sacrifice.
@@northgirl77 You’re rambling. TLDR. Been a SAHM for ten years. Husband makes 2x now what he did when I stopped working, more than replacing my income. Added 3 kids to the 2 original. It’s possible. Budget and save and stay out of debt.
She knew his family owned "multiple businesses" in Missouri. Of course she wasn't going to work. She thought she found a sugar daddy. Ignore women, acquire currency young man.
Then why sir do married men have more money, higher happiness scores, live longer and have more sex? You sound bitter.
What’s the divorce rate again?
@@jessicabender1301 Because men with more money, higher happiness, healthy, etc, are more likely to get married. Correlation does not always imply causation. Y'all keep qouting that stupid ass statistic like women are out here marrying bums.
@jessicabender1301 Source: trust me, bro.
@@jessicabender1301every thing you said is false.
I feel like we have to hear her side of the story before we can make a judgment. Imagine she woke up every morning, made the bed, prepared breakfast, went and got groceries, scheduled repairs for the home, made lunch, and dinner, cleaned the entire home, looks good for him. When he got home, was a good companion, probably listen to him, whining all the time for six years. If she was a good homemaker, then, honestly it’s his loss, especially if he has the money to take care of her. It also depends on how much of a spender she wants, if he was only paying her car payments, and she was using that car to buy groceries and do other tasks that ultimately benefited the household. Nothing wrong with him, paying for them, he would’ve had to spend time doing them instead. Having someone to manage your home and provide companionship to you is not worthless. If you tried to pay for those services, it would be very expensive. I actually feel very sorry for the girl who sacrificed a large portion of her youth thinking that he would be someone she could depend on [because that’s how he made it feel for six years] then finding out that she was dumped because of a TikTok post. I hope she is able to get on her feet, build a career for herself, and never put in a similar situation again. I find the way Americans think to be very selfish, and exploitative of woman. It’s like they expect them to work, and provide 50% of the finances to the family, but then come home and cook, clean, get pregnant, give birth, raise the children, teach them for free! How come men don’t pay women for doing those tasks, if a man, were to pay equal market rate for a maid, a cook, a nanny, a driver, a surrogate mother, companionship, and private teacher for the children. It would be a lot more than the 50% that the woman had to contribute to the household.
🎉thank you 🎉
She had no children and could have easily hold a job and maintain a house with his help which is expected.
Why the obsession with 50-50?
Why should they both work then both split the home tasks?
Why can’t each contribute to the house in a different way, work together to build a great home. The problem is men thinking everything that women do is worthless and easy work. They whine that’s it’s unfair that women get to relax at home while they work. Then demand women get jobs and split costs. When the women work, unfortunately most men don’t want to help with home tasks because they feel too tired after a long day.
@@arribaficationwineho32exactly! What if he was injured , sick and couldn’t work. She is too young to sitting at home and not building her resume
@@CraigC-h6b she would leave him in a second
He shouldn't be living with his girlfriend anyway. She's not his wife. Maybe now she can find a guy who will marry her, not just shack up with her.
Haha, he better have money to float her lifestyle. I highly doubt she brings much to the table (besides debt).
What year are you living in?
Agreed. I think they both come from a conservative background and are a bit well to do. The fact that her parents immediately took on her debt says that her and her family aren’t leeches. I think she was hoping to live the conservative trad lifestyle with him.
Agreed. She is trad wife material.
Love George’s response
If they had kids and she's a stay at home mom, yes, he should provide. But until then, she should work.
I am glad I started listening to Dave as a college student. It got me to discuss money my wife (then girlfriend) early on. Being on the same page about finances is a big part of why we rarely argue.
I imagine that if she genuinely put a ton of effory into being a homemaker, having great meals prepared every night, etc., and kept herself busy doing volunteer work or such, he would not have minded the lack of income. His real problem was feeling like the only useful person in the relationship.
Best decision he made, not stupid not a simp, for a girl. She didn't want to contribute to his finances, but want him to be her sugar daddy.
Did he already mention that his family owns many companies in Missouri??? 🙄
I'm sorry must have misheard that in all those collision industry mentions 😂
“ Friendship ends where money begins”- Good for him ! Way to go !
It would have been worse if he had married her. You made the right decision friend.
1:26 it’s the eye rolling and facial expressions that are hilarious!
The problem is majority of Americans think debt is okay.. unless they are following Dave Ramsey plan then good luck finding someone
Maybe DR needs a FPU dating app.
I had this convo with my partner on date number 3. It’s worked out fantastically for us
Nicholas realized probably no one else wants him in spite of Being in the Collision Industry and having a 2012 Mini Cooper 😂
I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is end up with people that make you feel all alone
😂
He already sent one gold-digger packing.
@@bjkarana if you don’t have gold then there is not gold digger for you!
@@jessy7884 Did you not listen to the call at all? This makes no sense.
He’s 25 and bought his first house with a decent down payment. This is a part in the call where you can congratulate him.
At no point did he say he loves or misses her. SHE'S the one who dodged a bullet.
The reason he’s considering dumping her is because the romance is gone. He’s just looking for a moral validation of his decision.
Why would he miss her?? She was leeching off him for SIX YEARS. He provided her for as if she were a helpless child. Men don’t love or miss women that leech off them. Hello!
Life is not a Disney cartoon.
@@Nardaa-ox3be No one said it was.
this!
The 3rd date conversation about money is a great idea. If you can have a healthy, level-headed talk about money and that you're both on the same page so early on, that's one good indicator of a healthy marriage down the line.
Sounds like there's something else that he is leaving out?
Why rent out the home. Just to move someplace else and pay rent? Which is more likely then his mortgage.
In the 6 years of dating, he never talked to her about getting a job?
Owning a house just to rent it out can work depending on your situation.
Maybe to apply pressure to the former girlfriend to move out sooner rather than later.
Yeah, 6 years is a long time. You would have thought he should have said something the first 6 months.
@fromheaventoearth5779 Yeah he rented out so he could probably move and downside.
@@08baby25he’s 25. They started dating when he was 19 and was probably ‘so in love’. He was blinded by that. Happens to a lot of people. He was also hoping she would change and she never did.
A homemaker is very useful especially when you have kids. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, chauffeuring, shopping, nursing, tutoring, etc. Paying strangers to do all these things would cost you a fortune.
I agree. The comments saying the girl was doing nothing have no idea how much money other people spend to hire others to do things a stay at home girlfriend does.
Labor can be emotional, sexual, physical and etc. She was probably giving him all of these services for free.
He’s full of himself, not a loss anyway
Stay strong Nicholas. You made the right move. She could've potentially broke you later down the road, mentally, psychologically, and financially.
@ClaudiaM-om4em she doesn't have any kids. She can bounce back
I guess I'm too practical. My husband and I talked about our views on money when we were just friends, before we even thought about dating, as well as the politics, religion, and children questions. We talked about them again in a specific way right before we got engaged, but I would not recommend waiting months to even broach those topics. That is a lot of wasted time and energy!
I totally agree with the third date. I Think people put the emotions and develop that connection before we suss out the red flags.
Good job ! Standin on business
Stop worrying, stop. You kicked her to the curb. Drop her, So you miss her, Toxic Relationships Do not work.. Nick, time heals 💙 everything...
"I feel like I'm choosing my finances over her."
No, you are choosing your worldview over her worldview. And that's okay. It's best to be with somebody who is inline with your worldview. Things like finances, religion, work ethic, etc.
I have a feeling this guy is going to be single for a very long time.
“May he be happy in the life he has chosen”
@@royashworth5560 and so may she.
But why give false promises to woemn thoigh?