Jerry Jones: Professional Football's Palpatine
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- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
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Lolcow (n) - A person or group of people laughed at for actions that they take, despite not trying to be funny. They may try to take themselves seriously, but they are often "milked" for laughs with or without their knowledge.
Jerry Jones has always been one of the most divisive men in football, be it due to his promoting techniques, management of the Cowboys, and overall legacy in the NFL. This past year, however, has amplified these feelings. With the ways he has been in the spotlight due to Ezekiel Elliott's suspension, among other things, Jones has embarked on a crusade to all but overthrow Goodell.
The attempt that he made over this past football season may have failed, but this has the makings of a civil war full of intrigue, conspiracy and sabotage. A grand power struggle is soon to be upon us and Jerry Jones will certainly be at the forefront.
This video was long overdue. May you keep grandstanding while holding your team back from greatness for an eternity, Mr. Jones.
NFC East facts:
First division to have all four teams with a Super Bowl ring
First division to have all four teams have a video done on them by Tree.
The NFC East is both simultaneously the best and worst division in football at any moment.
@Harry Engel its prime was the early 90s
The duality of the NFC East.
In the words of the dead skins winning off the field
Nah the NFC Least was the best in 2020
4 years and it's 28 years and counting how true this video remains
see the thing alot of people mistake is
" why people say Jerry Jones is a good owner he won 3 Rings as a Coach "
ah ah ah no
Tom Landry built the foundation of the Team reinforced by Jimmy Johnson won 3 Superbowls
Jerry Jones got salty that Jimmy was taking too much spotlight and literally fired him for no reason and shocker once the team Tom and Jimmy built faded it's now nearly 30 years since the Cowboys have reached an NFC Championship game never mind the fucking superbowl
let this sink in
the Jets have reached 2 Championship games since the Cowboys reached one
Even perfectly, especially after that embarrassing loss against the 7th Seeded Packers of all teams😂
Nick foles has more Super Bowl touchdown catches than any Dallas receiver has had in this century
W
any cowboy player
shit, he’s not wrong...
Playoff wins since the Cowboys' last Super Bowl:
Cowboys - 3
Nick Foles - 3
Dom Urzillo fuck century, try millennium
Jerry Jones: The Palpatine who is somehow more Palpatine than Belichick
DJDelta0 😂 LoL
Belichick is Thrawn.
Bruh Belichick IS Thrawn
Thrawn...I like it!
he kinda looks like palpatine lol
I really liked the part in Star Wars episode 6 when Tom Brady threw Jerry Jones down that pit to save Nick Foles. Oh yeah and Belicheck was there too.
Tom Brady -- Kylo Ren
Roger Goodell -- Snoke
Bill Belichick -- Hux
Nick Foles -- Luke Skywalker
Doug Pederson -- Poe Dameron
Eric Cartman Wouldn't Carson Wentz be Luke and Nick Foles would be Rey?
Wentz did die fighting brady and belichick
Eric Cartman Who’s Rose 😂
May the hate flow through them seeking of that move its like lol
Lol pretty good list spot on
Jimmy Johnson built a dynasty with 51 trades and smart drafting. Jerry sent the Cowboys to the stone age with two trades.
Well he traded some picks for Roy Williams from the Lions. The man has a fetish for receivers.
Harry Engel it’s not a trade technically but swapping Jimmy Johnson for a past-it idiot in Barry Switzer deserves mention
@Harry Engel 3-peated? Try 5-peated. Only the worst start to a game you can imagine (down 21-0 in the middle of the 1st quarter off 3 turnovers) combined with poor officiating allowed SF to beat the Cowboys in the '94 NFC championship (and only by 10). They would've easily beaten the Chargers for the 3-peat. They then win the 4th in a row over the Steelers in '95. Guts and Jimmy's psychology keep it going 1 more year to hold off the Packers (again) and win #5. Then the bottom falls out like it did in '97.
Skip Bayless: Professional Sports Media Lolcow
Kyle B yes yes yes
Sean lee is a meme because of him
I believe his name is pronounced Skip Baseless.
I can't like this enough
YES
As a Redskins fan, I take great pleasure in the Cowboys' failures. The problem is, we've got Little Danny Snyder, who is basically like Jerry...without the success.
as do I fellow RS fan. I would love to see them be the browns of the NFC every year
Andrex888 since the Browns are a few plays away from being 5-0, it’s pretty safe to say we ARE the new Browns. What kind of fucking moron punts on 4th and 1?
What success? Two playoff wins in 23 years is on par with the deadskins.
@@MaximusWolfe Still better than the Lions
@@christophermedlin5889
Not saying much lol
Oh shit. This is from 4 years ago. I thought Tree uploaded this today.
Crazy how this has continued to age well and well as the years go by
And now his team just lost to a 49ers team that had dealt with injures all year, which pushes the playoff record to 4-11 since they last won the Super Bowl.
HOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS!!!!
@@joesakic91 Actually they have 4 total playoff victories since their last Super Bowl season in 1995:
1996 - Defeated the Vikings in the Wild Card 40-15 before falling to the Panthers in the Divisional Round 26-17
2009 - Defeated the Eagles in the Wild Card 34-14 before falling to the Vikings in the Divisional Round 34-3
2014 - Defeated the Lions 24-20 in the Wild Card before falling to the Packers in the Divisional Round 26-21
2018 - Defeated the Seahawks 24-22 in the Wild Card before falling to the Rams in the Divisional Round 30-22
I'm still stunned at Kellen Moore running a QB draw up the gut with no timeouts against the 49ers.
Jerry Jones: Execute order move Franchises 66
Spanos: It will be done my lord
Davis and Kroenke: yes my lord
star wars is totally him
F##k you spanos
Hhhhahahahahaha that's a good one!!!!
@@seanhoran5657 Yeah!!
A few years back, there was some kind of commercial for the NFL that showed Jerry Jones enter an elevator with a couple of Giants fans who then looked at each other with shocked expressions. Like, please, Jerry ain't getting on no elevator with common people, or going around without security, or going near fans if division rivals, and if he did, they would not be the ones afraid.
According to Skip Bayless, Sean Lee should play every position, so let's just make him the new owner too.
#Skiiiiuuuuuupppp
SonicspeedLuke "man i love that kid sean lee i just wanna buy him a soda pop!"-skip bayless
He claimed to be a good High School B-ball player. He average less than 2 points a game on JV as a senior
So you want to clone Sean Lee? Palpatine's tentacles are long inded.
Fuck it he’d probably block better than Connor Williams and La’el Collins even with his glass hamstring
He would probably get injured as owner too
It's 12-30-19 and the Cowboys finished 8-8 again.
They sure did. Ain't it glorious?
The title of this alone made me love you even more.
The cowboys have a palpatine and a death star. we just need a vader.
@@cjsyblik3296 jason garret
Jerry only cares about the multi million dollar act that’s booked at his “world”.... and it’s not necessarily the Cowboys!
He uses the imperial match in the video too lmfao
The Eagles may have won the Super Bowl but the Cowboys had 2 of the 3 most highest selling jerseys of the year. Who is the real winner here? Jerry of course! Cause making money is more important than winning a Super Bowl.
Mike M.
1) Wentz
2) Brady
3) Prescott
Andrew Trofa wentz😂😂😂 no one is buying wentz jerseys unless you’re an eagles fan, wayyy more people buy brady and rapistberger shirts than wentz jerseys😂
@@jackskellington8292 if you bothered to look it up you'd see Wentz was the #1 selling Jersey the year Andrew was talking about
Jack Skellington haha blinded by your bias then destroyed by facts
Please keep thinking like that. If you don’t care about the team and only care about the money I am all for it. That means the eagles will just win the NFC east year after year after year. FLY EAGLES FLY🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅
As a Cowboys fan I have been waiting on this for YEARS
MR. Bucket same here buddy
Me also
Same
Yep
Jones keeps Garrett yet he once fired a coach after winning back to back Super Bowls. I'm a Vikings fan, so I like Jerry.
Oh the irony of putting this in my recommended AFTER buffalo beats the absolute shit out of dallas on Thanksgiving
ROME TOTAL WAR MUSIC LOL
lol Glatrus also EU4 music!
Farkinator I heard it and was like waaaah
what song is at the end?
DUN, DUN UH DUH DUH A DUH DUN DUN A DUN
@@farkinator7205 What was the music he used at 0:41
I gagged at the title 😂😂😂😂😂
Guys Jerry Jones has wasted:
Tony Romo
Jason Witten
Dez Bryant
Demarcus Ware
Zack Martin
Tyron Smith
Travis Federick
Dan Bailey
Miles Austin
Terrance Newman
Sean Lee
I probably missed someone
As Cowboys fan everything you just said about Jerry Jones is on point. This man is running this franchise into the ground he keeps players who can't produce he keeps coach that has clap more than actually winning playoff game. Since 1996 the Cowboys have not made a Super Bowl hell not even a NFC Championshp appearance. the Eagles and Giants have more success in the 20 years than the Cowboys. there is some Cowboys fans I know that waiting for Jerry to either retire or have someone else take over. I don't see that happen Jerry's ego won't allow that to happen. he rather see the Cowboys be medicore then to admit he is wrong
The Straight Shooter he should've gave Romo a chance on his last year before retiring but no, he starts a rookie QB who needed Romo then his second year he ends up being trash
the worst part? not one but two teams pass by in superbowl wins. cowboys seem to always have the remaining nfc east's number then the opposite happens in playoffs
The Straight Shooter as long as nepotism is in that organization, the Cowboys won’t accomplish anything.
When the Vikings, Cardinals, Bengals, and Jaguars all have more playoff success than you in 20 years, you know that you are in deep trouble.
Jerry would have won another superbowl if Flacco had been at the helm. Flacco is just too elite.
Nestlé Wesley Flacco is too good right now
Nestlé Wesley Flacco isn't elite
Take it from us Ravens fans, Joe is way too good right now. Can't wait for 2019, oh joy!
Imagine if Jerry Jones has pekka Rinne. He's just too good right now
MarloSoBalJr benched and replace by a guy who fumbles like its fucking christmas😂😂😂
Let’s be honest the Cowboys are Stuck in the past thinking a old man who is way past his expiration date would still lead them to their 6th Championship is almost laughable there going to find a way to choke away this season as well
Tree, You Da Man! Finally got to send up Jerry Jones.He singlehandedly turned America,s Team from a Powerhouse to a punchline.The Cowboys had glory in the days of the Tex Schramm/Tom Landry regime.
They had glory under Jimmy Johnson too, but of course Jerrah can't stand Jimmy getting all the credit.
ZhangtheGreat Yes they did, Jerry shouldn,t have fired Jimmy Johnson.
Jerry Jones. What is your bidding, my master?
Fuck You Spanos
God damnit spanos
Spanos L
Spanos …You…
Spanos you fuck
Watching this all happen kind of makes me hopeful for the XFL. Vince please don't choke it
Cody Dockerty I’m with you my man
Only a Cowboy fan would be hopeful for XFL.
John Ashley more like only a browns fan lol
Fuck yeah Chicago Enforcers!
Don't be surprised if Jerry tries to move the Cowboys to that league. I doubt that's legally possible, but it doesn't mean Jerry won't try it.
You used A. Waldetoft's EU4 Main Theme as background music. Thank you Tree for putting a smile on my face simply with the music choice.
Lions video? Make me feel something, Tree. Anything.
jojorofo The Detroit Lions: Somehow Worse Than The Browns
Yap Pac lol in your dreams atleast they didn’t go 0-16 this year and BARELY missed the playoffs. Also they’ve never been 1-32 in 2 seasons alone.
+Dead Gang Well the 2008 Lions were clearly the worse 0-16 team because the Browns at least were in quite a few close games this past season. But yeah the Lions are still actually capable of sometimes being mediocre.
F that he been ducking and dodging the Ravens. He a Steelers fan who don't wanna roast the Ravens? The only team IN the AFC north he hasn't done yet.
Dead Gang Lions were VERY close to doing that between 08 & 09 with a 2-31 record, so they’re pretty much in the same boat
Robert Kraft: Professional football's forgotten Herbert the Pervert.
Europa Universalis 4 music!
Then Rome Total War music? What is this
1:33-2:07 America's Team in every sense of the word. Reflecting the country it's supposed to represent perfectly.
That god damn air horn gets me every time
Careful there, don't want Disney to claim this video
As a Cowboys fan, thank you for this.
Who’s here after the Cowboys lost to Brock Purdy and the 49ers?
Me 😔
One thing is plain truth, they can,t beat Green Bay.
I think we (speaking as a Cowboys fan) can beat Green Bay, all we have to do is fire a head coach without balls and hire one with balls
Lonestar327 and hire the refs so we don’t get robbed anymore lol
I fucking hate everything. I just want to beat Green Bay once in a game that matters.
Mike’s Music Reviews hey beating Green Bay in Lambeau field last season was fun, good times.
funny since it used to be the opposite every time they faced Green Bay.
The Dallas Cowboys: Professional Football's Kardashians.
Shit nobody cares about that the media keeps forcing on us? Yuuup
To end the video with the Dez catch was brilliant
Jerry Jones is the real life version of Mr. Burns. "Excellent!!" 🙏🏻
So that completed the NFC east
Elprocesso Time for the west. I nominate the Seahawks for dissection.
Ron Nickels He already did the 49ers after they went to 2-14 under Chip Kelly. Other than that there’s not really much to talk about in the West both NFC and AFC
49ers and Rams done. How about the Arizona Cardinals: Professional Football's Retirement Home?
Johnnie Doe I still say the Seahawks need a once over. They've regressed from two Super Bowl appearances to not even making the playoffs.
And considering all the crap they pulled last season they might as well be called the NFL'S Daycare.
Arizona Cardinals: Mathematically worst team in Professional Football
you guys should get the five point gaming reference
Back here afrer the Packers demolished them. Another year of playoff futility
Wait that's eu4 music
Jerry Jones: Professional football's Ottomans.
Possibly Ming, It starts out in a great position the collapses into a bunch of smaller states. Never to reclaim it's prior glory ever again.
Hell yeah man
I looked for this comment.
The Cowboys need better generals.
Like many NFL fans, I hate the Cowboys with a fiery passion, but my god, that Dez Bryant "incompletion' gives me a headache every time I see it. How is that not a catch, NFL? Hurts my damn brain.
As an Eagles fan I pray to God this man lives forever. The Cowboys will NEVER win a Super Bowl again as long as Jerry's in charge.
From Memes 2 Dremes I agree. By the way, how in gods name are the Cowboys called “America’s Team?” In my lifetime, they’ve never been impressive. Only 5 seasons with 10+ wins. 😂😂😂 Fly Eagles Fly. 👍
I could say the same he's the reason why breaking the cowboys in heartbreaking fashion (twice in 9 months and the 2014 Divisional round) is so god damn satisfying Go Pack Go
Kyle B lol the whole "America's team" thing. Traditional Cowboys aren't even American they're goddamn Spaniards. Someone else like the Eagles or Patriots, some team entity that just screams a truly "American" theme should wear the title
From Memes 2 Dremes Bandwagon alert!
Vaude Vega Nick Foles has more playoff wins than the Cowboys in the last 23 fucking years you have no room to talk shit boy
The Trade Federation theme is perfect to Jerry Jones 😂😂😂
As life long Cowboys fan and native Fort Worthian, Jerry needs to go (GM position). He's holding back this team.
Jerry Jones is not Palpitine. You know who is though, Seat Geek. It sorta through all available seats to give you the best price. It rates all the seats based on value from 1 to 100 to give you the best bang for your buck
Here after the How Them Frauds got flogged by the Packers lol
Tree has two sponsors now SeatGeek & Dollar Shave Club
FamilyGuyfan889 imagine what could happen if he can pay the rent by doing this, or even buy his own house.
As a cowboys fan, this video was solid gold.
Never thought UT could make me cheer for roger Goodell....
I mean, is it actually cheering for him, or just cheering for destruction and mayhem? I hate Jerry Jones, but Roger Goodell is just as bad if not worse.
The fact that Roger is one of the few to put Jerry in his place and make Jerry look like a bitch is actually admirable, if that makes sense.
I'm back to celebrate their 2023-24 loss in the first round in the playoffs
About time we see a Lolcow on management and ownership.
And no better choice to choose one on
24AMPER
Agreed. He should do a hard one on Jimmy Haslem (Owner; Browns) or Tom Dundan (Owner; Hurricanes)
This video aged well
You are mistaken Bill Belichick is Pro footballs Palpatine
Robert Craft
LordLowe Bill has won championships in the past 20 years unlike Jerry
more like Robert Craft, cause with out his dream of owning the patriots, the pats would've been in St. Louis right now
Normally I'd agree, but there's a huge difference......at least Palpatine has been seen smiling.
Have you seen Belichick in his grey hoodie? Jabba the Hut.
UT did a scathing video on the Arizona Cardinals but the Cardinals, yes the Cardinals, have more playoff wins and have been to more Super Bowls than the Cowboys in the last 22 years. This includes a 20-7 thrashing of the Pokes in 1999.
This dude must be an eagles fan....remember that Jerry Jones also was the driving force behind REVENUE SHARING...Americas Team shares it's wealth with all the other teams to help keep everyone going...
I thought it was Belicheck!
Could you just put me and the rest of Detroit out of its misery and do the Lions video already?
Pepe McFeels God please. I need the cathartic feel of pain
Pepe McFeels Lions, Tigers and Pistons, Oh My
Correction. Jerry Jones doesn't pull the commissioner strings. Robert Kraft and the Patriots organization does.
Roger Goodell should get a video in the future.
Ages in human history: iron age, bronz age, middle ages, new age etc...
Ages in RUclips sports video history: SeatGeek age, SquareSpace age, Manscaped age etc...
*Spanos is Jerry Jones's best friend.*
Nelson Nguyen Ones master cannot be his best friend.
Nelson Nguyen Then Fuck Both Spanos and Jones
Spanos=snoke jones=palpitine
Spanos, your Jerry Jones's master now?
I love how the music in these videos occasionally come from various strategy games (Rome total war, Europa universalis)
Please do one for Blair Walsh, He’s just asking for it!
I’m i cards fan, while watching that, I literally knew he was gonna miss it somehow before the play even began
Volting Master blair walsh is the nathan petermeme of kickers
2 wins in 23 years, that’s saying something when the bears have more playoff wins than you in a given timeframe.
“ I am the NFL ! “
3:55 wasn't expecting "Ride Forth Victoriously" but thoroughly made happy!
This is honesty exactly what this entire franchise and fan base deserves.
What if manziel was drafted by the cowboys and sat for 3 years to learn........ Being drafted by the browns kills qbs. Just some food for thought.
Am I the only one who recognized Alan Moorhouse's "Music To Drive By" at the beginning of this? Nice selection, Tree!
Great time to watch this one
Bill Belichick: "I am the Dark Lord of the NFL"
Jerry Jones: *Cackles in Sheev*
Roger Goodell: I A M T H E S E N A T E
Been waiting for this. An owner whose ego is so large that you can see it from space (I'm kidding). Nothing against the Cowboys personally, but ol' JJ needs this knock to bring his ego down a peg. I mean, as owner, President and GM of the team? How many hats does he want to wear?
Because he's like Palpatine, Palpatine was the Senate and Jerry is the Cowboys
This video continues to age well
DUDE! Continue making these videos! As you noted, JJ is out for JJ and supports gouging cities for the NFL; yet all these owners are imagined as paragons of success. I'm glad you put the Urinating Tree brand of satirical and analytical commentary on this frustrating reality. And, yes, I'm a Cowboys fan.
Jerry Jones is 75 years old. Dude he'll die soon enough and Dallas can start working on their overdue dynasty.
Bepis Ad Overdue? You had your chance. I hope Jones lives forever
Fly Eagles Fly 🦅 🦅
a pay congrats on your super bowl . You guys played hard for it. Now go eat some horse manure.
Bepis Ad haha, yeah that guys crazy. Hopefully this win is the start of many more
@@alexandergarber3279 he is crazier than Michael Irwin on First take
TREE YOU GENIUS!
'Ol Jerry in reply: "I hope you liked those 5 Superbowl ring, I hope you liked them very much!"
You’ve done a clean sweep of every team in the NFC east Conglaturation
Footballs Palpatine? Uh no that honor goes to Bill Belichick!
Nahhh Belichick is more like Vader, powerful but at the end of the day just a higher up. Jerryboy pulls strings we don't even know about.
Dean spanos is the worst owner in the NFL
Please post more of these during the off-season. It’ll hold me over till the regular season starts.
THANK YOU!!!! You finally did something with the Cowboys
From 0:42-1:25 does anyone know what theme song is that I need to know lol
Jerry Jones was also instrumental in Deflategate and getting that Article 46 enforced, hence Brady had to serve that ridiculous suspension so when Elliott had to serve an equally ridiculous six-game suspension, thanks to the SAME Article 46, I always say, "Karma's a (insert word for a female dog)."
If only Jones drafted Manziel. It would've been glorious
3:13 Ah yes, Kroenke; The Bane of Saint Louis and Arsenal.
Jerry Jones is this generations Al Davis he will never sell the team so as long as he owns the team the Cowboys will never win the Super Bowl Rodger Goodell should force him to sell the team
Evil VS Stupid, what a fucking choice the NFL has.
The mahogany desk line had me laughing. Well, the important thing is that polks fans continue to suffer miserably. That is about the only redeeming aspect of today's NFL.
......I'm enjoying this so much more than I should. You have done it again man.
I am commenting before i watch. I have been waiting for this, both as a Cowboys fan, and a fan of these rants of yours. Thank you.
What a time to be a football fan.
We hate what it does to the game,
but we love to watch the train derail.
What's bad about this is the Washington football team owner is follow the same suit as Jerry Jones
Just when I think your videos can’t get better you add Rome total war music. Well done.
I feel like the Cowboys are going to be like the Blackhawks. They wont be truly good until the owner dies and his son takes over.
Not even his son! Remember who stopped the Cowboys from drafting Johnny Football? Jerry's son! And if his son's ego is anything like Jerry's, the Cowboys are doomed to even more years of mediocrity.
Not drafting Manziel ended up being a good thing... especially since they got a great lineman instead. I think they could be good after Jerry dies/gives up control (like the latter would ever happen)
Bears fans say the same thing about their team. They figure once Virginia McCaskey croaks, the team will be properly run. By who? Her kids? They're more clueless at running a football game than she is! The only hope for that team to be the dynasty it once was is for the McCaskeys to sell the team!
The music of this video makes it even better. Keep it up Tree!
Love how well the Star Wars theme fits starting at 3:00