10 Signs that a Guy is a Player (watch out for these!)

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  • Опубликовано: 23 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 581

  • @Mat_Shaffer
    @Mat_Shaffer  Месяц назад

    → Sign up to get access to my weekly email exploring love, life and relationships you won’t find anywhere else here 👉 www.matshaffer.com/

  • @TruthTroubadour-xi9cc
    @TruthTroubadour-xi9cc 2 года назад +115

    My dad, a player himself, taught me to avoid these characters with one simple move. I don't hop into bed without a committment. That repels the players- I'm too much work for them! I'm worth that extra effort! Know your worth!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад +8

      Great tips! 🙌❤️

    • @TruthTroubadour-xi9cc
      @TruthTroubadour-xi9cc 2 года назад

      @@Mat_Shaffer Thank you!

    • @Cycology_Major
      @Cycology_Major 8 месяцев назад +5

      An exclusive commitment of duration. Some guys can commit to more than one at a time, & none of the ladies have the faintest idea.

    • @TruthTroubadour-xi9cc
      @TruthTroubadour-xi9cc 8 месяцев назад +1

      @@Cycology_Major my dad was one such man. Liked to juggle 3 to 4 women at a time! I know the signs...

    • @motowngirl5891
      @motowngirl5891 8 месяцев назад +2

      Your lucky to have your father
      Teach you

  • @mathewblood5113
    @mathewblood5113 2 года назад +87

    I think another huge red flag is when he never talks about anything too personal. If you ask him what he did during the weekend and he’s vague, “I went to a birthday party” or “Not much, just hung out with some friends”. And he doesn’t give details. If conversations are always surface level and superficial such as talking about work or he tells you the same few stories over and over. Yeah, I’m pretty good at reading a player. And they think they’re so smart. 😂

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад +2

      Interesting perspective, thank you so much!

    • @beatrix-ec1xf
      @beatrix-ec1xf 8 месяцев назад +4

      That's how I'm feeling about my boyfriend I feel like our conversations are resurfaced level.
      I never really know what's going on in his day and when I do ask it just it's very generic and we've been dating a year and I feel like I don't really know him anymore than I did when I initially first started dating him.
      Anytime I ask about the roommates that he lives with his females that I can't come over and spend time with him because they're there either completely ignores the question goes right over it or won't talk about it

    • @Suvs-ht7sk
      @Suvs-ht7sk 8 месяцев назад

      Yes this I’m dealing with a guy I think he is a player

    • @jonarizabughao1331
      @jonarizabughao1331 8 месяцев назад +1

      Truth! 💯👌

    • @ΦανήΓκολφίνου
      @ΦανήΓκολφίνου 5 месяцев назад

      My girl,he is probably a player, kick him put of your lifeee! Block him at everything!​@@beatrix-ec1xf

  • @Thenoobestgirl
    @Thenoobestgirl 3 года назад +147

    Don't sell yourself short, ladies! You queens deserve much more than a player! 👑

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад +6

      Indeed!

    • @zen_mindset1
      @zen_mindset1 Год назад +1

      👑

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 10 месяцев назад +2

      Beware of those that are good at pick up. They're practiced at it.

  • @sunshinedayz7032
    @sunshinedayz7032 3 года назад +50

    Sometimes a player doesn't care at all what you do when you are away from them. Not jealous at all. But, will then try to make you jealous.

    • @shutit4024
      @shutit4024 2 года назад +4

      Yup happened to me

    • @annatorrez8135
      @annatorrez8135 2 года назад +2

      But wouldn't that be a form of jealousy 🤔 on his part? Like he's trying to get even?

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад

      Thanks for sharing!

    • @monjul131
      @monjul131 11 месяцев назад +4

      Met a player who was having sex with next door neighbor while dating me and he lied she was just a friend. He played dumb or went silent when I said I wasn't comfortable with her before I knew anything about his neighbor. He said I needed therapy and that I was insecure. Gaslighting

  • @daynacote
    @daynacote 3 года назад +98

    Most players are not honest. Instead of player I feel it could be called deceiver cause games are fun when both people are aware of the rules. With deceiving only one person has fun and is aware of the rules.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  3 года назад +13

      good point my dear!

    • @rachelcardenio1373
      @rachelcardenio1373 3 года назад +6

      That is true totally agree with you, player’s guys are liars, deceitful and dishonest- they can’t tell the difference from their own lies and the truth of the matter.

    • @sharilyon5983
      @sharilyon5983 3 года назад +8

      Deceivers and liars only care about themselves and are selfish.

    • @sharilyon5983
      @sharilyon5983 3 года назад +6

      Dana Cote I never thought of it that way but it's certainly true! It's very true that they're deceivers instead of players when they've promised to commit to you.

  • @gracehall9199
    @gracehall9199 3 года назад +55

    I like when you say they don't emotionally invest in you. Very good point.

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,..........

    • @psb12121
      @psb12121 3 года назад +2

      @@victorytammy7318 Stop it

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      Glad to hear that!

    • @CarmenGomez-mq2bc
      @CarmenGomez-mq2bc 22 дня назад

      True point! 😊

  • @deborahburns473
    @deborahburns473 3 года назад +88

    Thank you Matt, needed to hear this. Just stepped away from a relationship with all the red flags of a player

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  3 года назад +16

      amazing congrats my dear! your freedom and beautiful new relationship awaits! :)

    • @sirennem.6890
      @sirennem.6890 3 года назад +3

      Read 8 dates by Gottman, the best book. People dont know what a relationship is. Set boundaries, ask question. Healed traumas by Hoffman process.

    • @kristibatchelor5311
      @kristibatchelor5311 3 года назад +2

      Me too....all he wanted was sex

    • @toosexy7955
      @toosexy7955 3 года назад

      All started well for about 3months, then wanted money, He stayed offline to wait me out, Then he came back with I wouldn't help him, First, he wanted $20,000.00, then came down to $2000.00, I said NO..Then it ended in messy words as I was the worse person in the world...Oh well, His loss !!

    • @CarmenGomez-mq2bc
      @CarmenGomez-mq2bc 22 дня назад

  • @eriegirl9007
    @eriegirl9007 3 года назад +54

    Don't forget about the player that practically tells you outright that he is a player. For instance the guy who is honest with you that he and his ex who live in another town are still friends, but he takes her out when she is home on dates and buys her presents because they are just friends. He tells you there is nothing there emotionally, they are just friends and she dates other guys and goes on trips with them. At the same time he will tell you about the other girl that he is just seeing occassionally, but not having sex with her (assume he is if you have brains). Tells you she isn't his type and he needs to remind her that they are just friends because she is always posting selfies of them on fb that make it look like they are a couple. Some women might be like wow, this guy is so honest, how can he be a player since he is telling me all this and I really didn't even ask. Yes, he is being probably about 90% honest, becasue he is so goodlooking and charismatic and there are a lot of desparate women out there, that he knows some women will tell themselves this isn't a player bc he is so honest and players aren't honest. He will then try to make some moves, and the many desparate women out there will tell themselves this honesty is because he is really into you and wants to start his relationship with you on honest footing. Basically this "full disclosure" is anything but that. It is his way of not having to feel bad after he has sex with you and hurts you when he ghosts you afterwards or you see him out with someone else shortly thereafter. In his mind, he was completely honest with you, and you had sex with him willingly, knowing full well what his story is. And he is right, bc if you wanted more from a man you have sex with, you would walk away as fast as you can. Recently encountered this scenario and thankfully I saw right through it. As attracted to him as I was and as much as I wanted to kiss him, and as much as I like so many things about him, I would not kiss him and dodged a dinner invitation after his full disclosure during our lunch date. I am not looking to be another option in a man's life.

    • @mmc4214
      @mmc4214 3 года назад +6

      Good for you girl. I'm right there with you. What you just described happened to me and yes, there was a pattern of this same thing with him. Now I look back at it and say ICK! CYA LOSER!

    • @macrosmarry6986
      @macrosmarry6986 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @psb12121
      @psb12121 3 года назад +2

      @@macrosmarry6986 go away

    • @shanny4306
      @shanny4306 3 года назад

      🇨🇦 Great stuff

    • @PotatoeBunny93
      @PotatoeBunny93 2 года назад +4

      If he tells you outright what he is like and whay he is doing and you still give him the time of day then the issue comes from within you and what you allow and how u are allowing yourself to be treated. You cant change anyone else.

  • @maidenmarian1
    @maidenmarian1 3 года назад +49

    I have been asked for sex and affairs over and over. No one normal has attempted to date me. I have been wise to not trust anyone. Yeah they like to test your boundaries...yeah..

  • @lilywashere_
    @lilywashere_ 6 месяцев назад +5

    10/10, you nailed them all! It’s so sad in a way because they actually need help. Stupid me, I got hooked on him. It’s been five months since our breakup. I’ve never been in a darker place. It is true that hurt people hurt people, badly.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  6 месяцев назад +2

      I promise there are good guys out there my dear!

    • @arnelevans4803
      @arnelevans4803 6 месяцев назад +2

      I'm so sorry. Just know that his karma is coming. Players always get their karma!!!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  5 месяцев назад

      Thanks for the comment!

  • @nancyreynolds1869
    @nancyreynolds1869 3 года назад +43

    I have been living in hills for a while now,It’s peaceful and love being to myself,And not being used at all,Mindful of Me myself and I.. Self respect,Self love. My own life with my beloveds and families 😊

    • @nakialindsey5684
      @nakialindsey5684 3 года назад +7

      I feel you ☺ one must always protect their peace and for me enjoy my own company no greater LOVE💖💖💖.

    • @nancyreynolds1869
      @nancyreynolds1869 3 года назад +3

      @@nakialindsey5684 I wholeheartedly agree..I too 💓🌹

    • @sharilyon5983
      @sharilyon5983 3 года назад +2

      Amazing how many predators are out there, even ones who profess to be Christians and to love God. They're all the biggest fakes.

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.....

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯

  • @DIAMONDGIRL57
    @DIAMONDGIRL57 10 месяцев назад +3

    Recently, a man reached out to me online. We exchanged phone numbers. He immediately text me; asked me questions two of which were; are you a good kisser, are you “freaky?”’he also addressed me as his” future friend” yet . . . We had not spoken on the phone or met face to face. I told him I will not be a friend with benefits and blocked him.

  • @ellenlartz2499
    @ellenlartz2499 Год назад +17

    The day I got with my man we had a conversation with each other about what we wanted in a relationship. I had 3 deal breakers:
    Don't lie to me
    Don't cheat on me
    Put me in a place of honor in your life
    He understood why I had these. He agreed to do what I asked, and we are together more than 17 years, having known each other for 53 years total. He's my destiny ❤️💯 !!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад +2

      Wow!😍That is awesome!!! Happy for you and thanks for sharing. 🙏❤❤❤

  • @fruitdemer201
    @fruitdemer201 3 года назад +18

    I almost turned into a player after several experiences with them but I realised it is exhausting. I donno I think it works but not forever.

    • @immahana6854
      @immahana6854 3 года назад +3

      Never Do that:it takes Masculine energy and most of them are under Drug influence.With your soberness you can Go Crazy if u cheat around so much

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад +1

      Thanks for sharing!

  • @justinevece2107
    @justinevece2107 2 года назад +8

    This is the only video that has given me clarity and closure about these men!! Nailed it to a T! Great video thanks so much!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад +1

      Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you.

  • @mollyminky76
    @mollyminky76 3 года назад +15

    Whoa! This is amazing thorough. Love it Matt! The last minute thing. The whole not being seen in public with him thing- huge.

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      Thanks so much my dear!

  • @BeccaL2016
    @BeccaL2016 3 года назад +21

    OMG this guy i had seen 2 months were all of these! He actually told me that he takes time to know the woman. And he will be all in. We did exchange drove 3 hours total on weekends to meet each other. What a waste! I called it off because he disappeared one weekend and he said his ex came to look for him🤪

    • @macrosmarry6986
      @macrosmarry6986 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @macrosmarry6986
      @macrosmarry6986 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад

      Thanks for sharing!

  • @margaretbatson83
    @margaretbatson83 3 года назад +15

    Not interested in a player ! I've been there done that. I had to find out the hard way and at the end my heart was broken. I'm sure he's broken many hearts.

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.....

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      I promise there are good guys out there my dear!

    • @chamelor
      @chamelor 3 месяца назад

      So players create players?

  • @zen_mindset1
    @zen_mindset1 Год назад +6

    I like this guy! Your videos are informative. You have a new subscriber!

  • @sunshinedayz7032
    @sunshinedayz7032 3 года назад +16

    Haha!! The playing dumb!
    "I didn't mean it like that"
    "You misunderstood me"

  • @Dogscatsbikes
    @Dogscatsbikes 3 года назад +19

    Wouldn’t it be easier to give the signs that he’s not a player?

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  3 года назад +10

      hmmm that might be the next video, great idea!!

    • @Dogscatsbikes
      @Dogscatsbikes 3 года назад +3

      @@Mat_Shaffer Hi Mat. I was making a joke about how most of the men we deal with are players so we should know the signs. I wasn’t dragging your video. Thanks for the upload

  • @annettendes7490
    @annettendes7490 3 года назад +27

    Thanks Matt. I just finished my relationship with a guy thinking something is going on...
    Now i know i was right.
    Player...asta la vista!

    • @macrosmarry6986
      @macrosmarry6986 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @macrosmarry6986
      @macrosmarry6986 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      You got this! Happy to help.

  • @alterbridgefan99
    @alterbridgefan99 2 года назад +7

    Had this guy who would CONSTANTLY call me babe, hun, darling etc etc we JUST started talking, hadn't even had a date yet. I asked him to chill with the terms of endearment. He didn't reply so I thought maybe it had kinda sunk in. But I was also struggling with the recent death of my dog, my doggy was my EVERYTHING. The day after I woke up to a text from him that said "I'm glad your dog is dead 😊" SO SO SO EVIL!!

    • @ms.newcomerteacher6554
      @ms.newcomerteacher6554 2 года назад +4

      Oh my goodness! That’s terrible.

    • @louc313
      @louc313 Год назад +2

      Sounds like u dodged a bullet. I say this as someone who has been in extremely narcissistic abusive relationships.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад

      Thanks for sharing!

    • @Patriotgirl1130
      @Patriotgirl1130 Год назад +3

      Omg!!! What an insanely evil guy! I’m so sorry u even had to read that text 😢. My dogs r my babies so I understand and wow that guy is just disgusting

  • @rachelcardenio1373
    @rachelcardenio1373 3 года назад +16

    Thank you 😊 Mat for clearing it out for Me, I just break away from this player guy that I thought was going to be in My life .

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @sereenvictor8814
      @sereenvictor8814 2 года назад

      What if a woman is just a player too,and just want sex too

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      You got this!

  • @maidenmarian1
    @maidenmarian1 3 года назад +6

    I have a guy friend who is always only on his terms. We are only friends but he seems to have some type of problem. He is a player or is somehow needing control over each thing....

  • @corythelight2473
    @corythelight2473 3 года назад +19

    Fast track your way to the truth:
    “What traumas have you’ve had and how have you overcome them?”
    Asking this will illustrate where someone is located and save you time.
    Now you get to choose powerfully if you want to entangle your precious energy or not.
    Cheers
    🕉

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад

      Thanks for sharing!

  • @ms.p.1022
    @ms.p.1022 3 года назад +12

    Hey Matt, this is my first time seeing one of your videos...I loved it and I subscribed because I want to watch more of them! Keep telling us the truth, can't wait to get a notification from your channel.💞👠

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @ms.p.1022
      @ms.p.1022 3 года назад

      @@victorytammy7318 Stop trolling!😪

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      Awesome! So glad you enjoyed it! 🙂 Many more to come!

  • @malourdescesista6990
    @malourdescesista6990 3 года назад +9

    Thank you very much!it is very clear to me now upon hearing this topic.more power of you And blessed you more.

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      I pray the universe grant your heart desire Hey friends I got my relationship fixed with the help of this great spiritualist who brought my ex after many months of separation,,, ,

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      You are very welcome! Glad it was helpful!

  • @suecole5543
    @suecole5543 2 года назад +4

    I really love this Matt. You seem like a really great guy. The type of guy ladies that is worth it .

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      Thank you so much, I really appreciate hearing that from you.

  • @megchambers9682
    @megchambers9682 3 года назад +8

    Very eye-opening. Thanks, Mat.

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      You are so welcome!

  • @MandECross
    @MandECross 3 года назад +7

    Great video Matt. I watch many of them! I just left a man with a true Narcissist Personality Disorder and he also showed a few of these signs you talk about! I am going to search to see if you've done a video on the NPD, because it's so monstrous!!! He nearly sucked out all of the real me, gaslighting, lying, the total emotional abuse, the entire package!!! I just saved my life, myself, my heart and soul. . .and now I am so fearful about every man I meet or might meet. All of your videos are excellent! Thank you!

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      YESSS you got it my dear!! so glad this supported you :)

  • @f.t.9889
    @f.t.9889 3 года назад +11

    Mat, this was a really great video! /Fatima

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  3 года назад +2

      heyyy Fatima! so glad you liked it :)

  • @shanny4306
    @shanny4306 3 года назад +3

    🇨🇦🕊I watched this out of curiosity because my grandkids are grown and out there learning how to navigate this landscape. I worry about the new ways young people meet and date because I feel that technology has evolved way faster than us mere mortals are capable of.I’m especially happy to hear you use the word predator ,these guys have no intention of evolving at all.The young guys need your advice too so they won’t turn into unsavoury creeps . I see the world hasn’t changed as much as I thought .You are a Godsend .I will send your videos along to all my grandkids of both sexes and all genders. 🕊🙏🏼🕊

  • @AngelinaRomero
    @AngelinaRomero 3 месяца назад +1

    YOU NAVE nailed it

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  3 месяца назад

      Your comment is pure gold! Thanks for making my day. 💛

  • @mamashanshan2772
    @mamashanshan2772 2 года назад +5

    Thank you, so much. I appreciate you sharing this with us all.

  • @carolinaibarra4652
    @carolinaibarra4652 3 года назад +19

    Gaslighting, getting offended... Been there, didn't do that ;)

  • @Patriotgirl1130
    @Patriotgirl1130 Год назад +1

    Some of these r eye opening and very appreciated.

  • @hattyflame3889
    @hattyflame3889 3 года назад +8

    Thank you Matt,well said,great information 👍💗

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.....

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      You are so welcome! Hope it was helpful

  • @sjgbrighton
    @sjgbrighton 2 года назад +2

    This is such a great video. Wish I'd seen this when I was a teenager!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад +1

      So glad you enjoyed it! :) Many more to come!

  • @JemyM
    @JemyM 2 года назад +4

    Inspired to:
    1. Hang out at both places
    2. Immediately after sex, check in
    3. Expose her to friends and family
    4. Have taste
    5. ... taaaaste
    6. Chat
    7. ... uh, empathy?
    8. Don't spontaneously combust
    9. Befriend her male friends
    10. Honor my exes

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад +1

      I appreciate your opinion on this!

  • @elikorn7418
    @elikorn7418 2 года назад +11

    So sad that someone needs an empty life of sleeping around for that very short instant boost of self-esteem instead of seriously working on themselves. Most womanizers are not necessarily bad in the sense that their final goal is to hurt someone; they are more than anything, broken people. Even if a player wanted something serious with you; they do not have the ability to be monogamous.

  • @brynndockstader6549
    @brynndockstader6549 3 года назад +13

    Mat: Thanks so much for another spot-on video!!! And I would also add to watch out for the guy who always wants you to call him. My mother would say, "What's wrong with your dialing finger?" And my sister would say, "My cat never comes home drunk and I've never had a man purr for me."

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  3 года назад +1

      haha so true!!

    • @macrosmarry6986
      @macrosmarry6986 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @macrosmarry6986
      @macrosmarry6986 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯

  • @mamashanshan2772
    @mamashanshan2772 2 года назад +2

    He’s never been worthy enough of all he’s harmed. Certainly a player! He doesn’t like me because I called him out on all the ones he treated the same!! So, now, here I still stand, and the other women do too! How odd when ex’s will stand ground against them as well, those guys, they’re like us women, they know.

  • @janezamudio4940
    @janezamudio4940 2 года назад +1

    Have watched a few of your videos, and this is by far my favorite. So on point! This is EXACTLY how these fellows act!

  • @Natalia-xo1yj
    @Natalia-xo1yj 4 месяца назад

    By the way, thank you Matthew. You put a lot of work into your videos. Very informative 😊

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  4 месяца назад

      I’m glad you found the video helpful! If you're thinking about dating again, our 'Are You Ready to Date Again?' quiz can help you determine if you're ready. Give it a try! 😊 mat-nlcmdzyq.scoreapp.com/

  • @darlawarmann8623
    @darlawarmann8623 3 года назад +10

    Every single one of those are a sign you don't matter to him

  • @elizabethstocker7379
    @elizabethstocker7379 3 года назад +4

    All of the above. Thanks for this!

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      Very welcome! Glad it was helpful!

  • @pearlgeneste1890
    @pearlgeneste1890 Год назад +1

    Thank you! That is perfect and pertinant!

  • @NoniAyanna
    @NoniAyanna 5 месяцев назад

    Had a guy tell me that he didn't want a long-distance relationship, which I understand because he told me he had an unfaithful relationship but continued to still flirt with me. I don't understand how some people think. We are still cool with each other but that was just a red flag to me.

  • @feliciaallen6228
    @feliciaallen6228 Год назад +1

    Totally agree. Really great examples!

  • @joywolfe
    @joywolfe 3 года назад +14

    great vid, mat! so you met my ex, huh??

  • @rosemulroy3259
    @rosemulroy3259 3 года назад +5

    Thank You Matt . I've Seen Alot Of These Red Flags ...

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.....

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      Happy I could be of help.

  • @hawaiigirl8089
    @hawaiigirl8089 2 года назад +1

    This was VERY GOOD 👍🏻

  • @maidenmarian1
    @maidenmarian1 3 года назад +9

    I haven't met anyone who has an ounce of integrity. No wonder I'm just laying low in this area.
    Guys who are jealous will try to tell you that you are a cheater..
    Very bad sign...
    Has a story that all of his exes are terrible people.

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад

      Thanks for sharing!

  • @lsloan3029
    @lsloan3029 6 месяцев назад

    Oh Wow Mat !!
    You answer a lot of comments...
    🙏 this is awesome !! And so special !!
    It is sooo true what you are saying.
    Thank you for making us woman aware of men who are players.
    I love watching informative videos.
    I am now in the dating era ...
    And i can see exactly what you mean by these 10 signs .....
    Praise God 🙏 i have strong Christian values.
    Most greatful for your videos ....
    Greetings from
    Durban South Africa 😉

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  6 месяцев назад

      -😭😭 one of the most touching comments I’ve ever received!! Thank you so so much for your kind words, truly moved them... it’s my honor and purpose to support you and I’m beyond grateful that I’ve inspired you to connect to your heart in a deeper way🙏🙏❤️✨let me know what more you would like me to speak Into.

  • @spiritualgangstergodess5015
    @spiritualgangstergodess5015 3 года назад +4

    Beautiful and meaningful! Thanks Mat

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.....

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      My pleasure!

  • @amyj.4992
    @amyj.4992 Год назад +1

    The more downsides I know, the more they have to prove how much integrity they have and how accountable they truly are

  • @englishwithsoukaina7031
    @englishwithsoukaina7031 Месяц назад

    You just described my ex literally.. what a player!

  • @penkee76
    @penkee76 9 месяцев назад

    I wish i had come across your videos much earlier to save myself from players. Thanks very much like your videos. All of them.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  9 месяцев назад

      Thanks so much my dear!

  • @shannonlilia
    @shannonlilia 3 года назад +14

    Mat you really made me lol! You ended the email that linked to this video, signed: "Your favorite player hater." 😂😂😂 Love that. And this video is sooo accurate. Trying to break free from my player's cycle RIGHT NOW. Ugh. I've had more than enough.

    • @macrosmarry6986
      @macrosmarry6986 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @macrosmarry6986
      @macrosmarry6986 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      Glad you like it!

  • @sorayagacis418
    @sorayagacis418 Год назад

    I learned so much from watching this vídeo. Great content!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад +1

      Glad you enjoyed Soraya Gacis❤ Thanks for sharing🙏

  • @chloem.3949
    @chloem.3949 3 года назад +1

    Great video

  • @Florida_gyrl
    @Florida_gyrl Год назад

    Love this! Thanks for posting this video!

  • @vern0123-t5j
    @vern0123-t5j 3 года назад +3

    Good one

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      Thanks

  • @kimegmore7825
    @kimegmore7825 3 года назад +13

    I wished I listened this months ago

    • @macrosmarry6986
      @macrosmarry6986 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @macrosmarry6986
      @macrosmarry6986 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      Don’t give up on love sister!

  • @kellyismond9351
    @kellyismond9351 9 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you ❤

  • @flyingveda
    @flyingveda 5 месяцев назад

    Perfect explanations. Thank you.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  5 месяцев назад +1

      Glad it was helpful!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  3 месяца назад

      Hi there, If you're wondering whether you're ready to dive back into the dating scene, check out our new quiz: 'Are You Ready to Date Again?' It might provide some helpful insights! 💖 mat-nlcmdzyq.scoreapp.com/

  • @karolinah12
    @karolinah12 3 месяца назад

    The ex told me his ex was so jealous & was sure he was a cheater, so he had to break up with her. I saw very fast why and dumped him.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  3 месяца назад

      Thank you for engaging with our content! If you're considering stepping back into the dating world, our 'Are You Ready to Date Again?' quiz might be just what you need to gauge your readiness. 💫 mat-nlcmdzyq.scoreapp.com/

  • @sharilyon5983
    @sharilyon5983 3 года назад +1

    Awesome video!

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      Glad you enjoyed it

  • @ginaonyemaechi
    @ginaonyemaechi 3 года назад +23

    SIGN 11: The birthmark on his right eye that spells, rather uncannily, "Ladies, I am a total tosser. Date me at your peril!"
    Seriously, your "player" is, as you say, Mr S, a man with no respect for women. Luckily, they are often super easy to spot. Regards.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  3 года назад +5

      amen my dear! gotta stay vigilant ALWAYS!

    • @sirennem.6890
      @sirennem.6890 3 года назад +1

      Read 8 dates by Gottman, people dont ask question, most of peolple are emotionally immature. Set boundaries. Many us are not healed. dont lean back, ask him.

  • @Priyanka-ow4yy
    @Priyanka-ow4yy 10 месяцев назад

    A guy was a player and cheated in a relationship with multiple women earlier nd soon he jumped into a new relationship. He introduced his new gf to his best friend and went out.... Does it mean he is serious or a player?

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  9 месяцев назад +1

      I promise there are good guys out there my dear!

  • @dianepayne4658
    @dianepayne4658 3 года назад +1

    Thanks for the video i have dated a few guys like this but now i know what to look for now

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      YESSS you got it my dear!! so glad this supported you😊

  • @nunya257
    @nunya257 3 года назад +17

    Nothing wrong with a player so long as he is honest about it. Great points.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  3 года назад

      Thanks so much! :)

    • @larsstougaard7097
      @larsstougaard7097 3 года назад +3

      I had a friend in college that was a big player, he created nothing by pain and misery for all that girls he was with. It could be a new girl every weekend or even two, one Friday and one Saturday.

  • @heikeferrer4543
    @heikeferrer4543 3 года назад +7

    I disagree on the point of meeting friends
    Real players let you see the friends Bec they don’t care and let your see friends and dumbs you after

    • @drama2u
      @drama2u 3 года назад +3

      I’ve been there.. the worst part his friends all knew he was playing me

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.....

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @heikeferrer4543
      @heikeferrer4543 3 года назад

      @@victorytammy7318 what?

    • @shutit4024
      @shutit4024 2 года назад

      @@drama2u yup he does that to get Brownie points from his friends

  • @sunshinedayz7032
    @sunshinedayz7032 3 года назад +2

    Lol right!
    "shower pic"! What the heck?!
    And asking about your "shaving habits"
    Within a day of texting. Ungh

  • @Mz.AjsHappy
    @Mz.AjsHappy 3 года назад +1

    Thanks for the summary.

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mz.AjsHappy
      @Mz.AjsHappy 3 года назад

      I don't want him bk.

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      Happy to hear that!

  • @pattibee6823
    @pattibee6823 Год назад +4

    Mat, this "testing of boundaries" is what I like to call, "Red Light, Green Light" .... if I don't set a boundary the man interprets that as not a red light so therefore it means it is a great light. So then they keep pushing the boundaries. Patti Bee, LPC, IFS Therapist, Madison, WI

  • @juliagoolia5604
    @juliagoolia5604 3 года назад +14

    This is my ex husband! We just divorced and hes trying (i REPEAT TRYING) to play me constantly. Its who he was during oir marriage too. 15yrs... he was loyal but narcissist. These player characteristics kinda go hand and hand with narcissist personality traits

    • @drama2u
      @drama2u 3 года назад +2

      Yes

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.....

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад

      Thanks for sharing!

  • @Ms.Stephanie.C
    @Ms.Stephanie.C 6 месяцев назад

    This is a good video. I’m not even dating or trying to date, & someone is trying to play me…. but he didn’t get anything, & he’s not going to.

  • @marisamlovendino9670
    @marisamlovendino9670 3 года назад +9

    I'm so guilty of this,I'm glad he's out of my life now,but he's still trying until now😆👍

    • @sirennem.6890
      @sirennem.6890 3 года назад +2

      Sex is normal thing, ask question, set boundaries

    • @drama2u
      @drama2u 3 года назад +2

      They won’t stop

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.....

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  9 месяцев назад

      Awww! So happy for you, beautiful!😍

  • @EdelweisSusie
    @EdelweisSusie 6 месяцев назад +1

    If you want to cut out all the waffle (and there's a LOT of it) go straight to 3:20. And it sickens me that this man smirks all the way through!!!
    10. He makes arrangements last-minute
    9. He shoves off immediately after sex
    8. You never meet his friends or family (I would also add - his co-workers)
    7. He brings up sexual innuendo early on in conversations (to judge how best to manipulate you into intimacy)
    6. He suggests exchanging sexy pictures before you've got intimate (DON'T DO THIS, ladies!!!!)
    5. He suggests dates where he can touch you (ie bars, clubs, dances)
    4. He ghosts you if you stand up to him or tell him your boundaries
    3. He vanishes or disappears without relevant explanation (He's probably talking to multiple women, then comes back to you)
    2. He's irrationally jealous of other men in your life (this is him projecting HIS shadiness onto you!)
    1. He speaks badly about his past relationships

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  6 месяцев назад

      Thanks so much for your feedback!

  • @marandamarotz2611
    @marandamarotz2611 8 месяцев назад +1

    Ok Matt how do you feel about kissing on the first date. Hoping to get back out there soon and I don't want players. I just want a good honest man. Whould that send she's to forward of a vibe. I'm 56 and this dating things scares the crap out of me!

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  8 месяцев назад

      I promise there are good guys out there my dear!

  • @IngerLokke
    @IngerLokke 19 дней назад

    And what if I married one?😢😮

  • @tella3553
    @tella3553 3 года назад +3

    Is it the same as a guy requesting for phone sex after 6 months of good conversations? He lives in another continent and we’ve never met.

    • @corythelight2473
      @corythelight2473 3 года назад +4

      It’s hard to say Tella - have you discussed boundaries? have you considered what you are comfortable consenting to? Once that is clear, you’ll have your answer. 🙌

  • @TheJuize85
    @TheJuize85 8 месяцев назад +1

    This comment section is actually a source of information for a player to only get better in what he does 😂

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  8 месяцев назад

      I appreciate your opinion on this!

    • @joan5429
      @joan5429 6 месяцев назад

      True. I was just thinking this.

  • @Gypsymumma90
    @Gypsymumma90 3 года назад +7

    It could the guy wants to see you all the time 🤣

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  3 года назад +2

      yep if he isn't doing it in a healthy way it can be!

  • @ademiyelani
    @ademiyelani 2 года назад +1

    Wow thank you brother Matt 🙏

  • @arbrevoilet8132
    @arbrevoilet8132 2 года назад +3

    Im the poor spaghetti girl lol help. The player got caught cheating

  • @transphotography
    @transphotography Год назад +1

    Wow, all so true and all applies to a narcissist in different stages of a pseudo-relationship

  • @hawaiigirl8089
    @hawaiigirl8089 2 года назад +2

    I refuse to sleep around so no one is using me

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад +1

      Awww! So happy for you, beautiful!

  • @PriyaPriya-jp1sl
    @PriyaPriya-jp1sl 3 года назад +20

    God saved me from one like that 👍☺️

    • @macrosmarry6986
      @macrosmarry6986 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.....

    • @macrosmarry6986
      @macrosmarry6986 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад +1

      That's great!

  • @rosengugi2235
    @rosengugi2235 3 года назад +2

    Thank you Matt

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.....

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад

      So glad you enjoyed it! :)

  • @user-zz1lb2zh6c
    @user-zz1lb2zh6c 2 года назад +3

    4 points checked! Thanks for the confirmation

  • @marlenerobinson2747
    @marlenerobinson2747 3 года назад +2

    Perfect ✍🏽

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      whatzpp him I was like this be'fore I know who can he:lp you out text him now he can solve your problem:: don't waste your time here,.......

    • @victorytammy7318
      @victorytammy7318 3 года назад

      ✝13046489694⏯⏯⏯⏯⏯

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад +1

      Many thanks!

  • @Natalia-xo1yj
    @Natalia-xo1yj 4 месяца назад

    Matt do you do 1-on-1 meetings?

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 месяца назад

      I am going to have a beta launch next month, if you're interested, I’ll be part of a FREE live coaching love + relationship course starting next month. It’s a great opportunity to join the beta launch! You can learn more and sign up here: masteryofconnection.com/

  • @britthill4975
    @britthill4975 2 года назад

    Here's what i wonder: is it good or bad that I don't care if i matter to anyone. I think i prefer not to...

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  2 года назад +1

      Your job to do well and do it with genuine goodness. ❤️

  • @phina8392
    @phina8392 Год назад

    I love it when my man’s exes have nothing to say but good about him and wish us luck and happiness..

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад

      That's awesome! Happy to hear that Phina🙏❤️ Congratsss!

  • @Becky_Cal
    @Becky_Cal 10 дней назад +1

    8:31 - I hate the stupid sexual comments and innuendos many men do it nowadays…that was not my experience when I was online dating 10 years ago… it’s so disrespectful and asinine bc it’s the quickest way to turn a woman off, get blocked and be labeled a loser!! I don’t mind it if we’ve already been dating a while, we’ve actually been physically intimate and there’s a rapport built but dude, I’ve known you 3 days are you’re already going there? 🤦🏻‍♀️ NEXT….

  • @talkRAYdio
    @talkRAYdio Год назад

    more women need to see this. it's 1000000% correct with 2 caveats:
    7. brings up sex in early chats - this is not an automatic red flag, but it's definitely a yellow. there could be other reasons for this than just being a player. but definitely keep your eyes open if it happens.
    1. speaks badly of all of his past relationships
    this last one is also yellow, not red. he's exes with all these people for a reason. though it happens, it's quite common (from my experience) for people to come to the table with a bad view of all of their prior relationships.
    the real question should be: after they tell you where their exes were wrong, are they equally honest about their own sh** and do they seem to have insight into one critical question: if these people were as bad as you claim, why did you get with them/stay with them. and then these follow ups: where did you screw up those relationships and what could/should you have done differently? what did yo learn about yourself and what areas did you grow in? it seems as though you have a pattern of breakups, which means you're likely attracting/attracted to the wrong women... what are you doing to correct and change who you are attracted to?
    any guy who is sincerely a grown up, has done the hard work of healling and is mature will welcome these questions if they've just told you how all their exes are terrible

    • @Mat_Shaffer
      @Mat_Shaffer  Год назад +1

      I appreciate your opinion on this! Thanks

    • @talkRAYdio
      @talkRAYdio Год назад

      @@Mat_Shaffer same with yours, great video