From every video, I have never heard such an accurate description of what I have experienced for 4 years. I do not think I could have moved on well without this videos. It helps me understand what has happened and why. Bro thank you for making this videos.
Yeah that about sums it up. The last time I saw him, I remember he looked at me with all this hatred… like all the love and empathy was just gone. He was a whole different person, like a total stranger. I’ll never forget it. I didn’t even bother asking him to stay because I knew it was pointless
Same. It was like there was something I was supposed to have known like a psychic/mind-reader, but by not getting it I failed. Thought I was being normal and caring at a basic, even gentle and slow level. I wouldn't even have noticed her in the first place if she hadn't gone touching me and blushing, when she started as my boss and I thought I should leave to find a better job to equalize with her, but I guess she felt best staying my boss or even felt abandoned when I wanted to do that. Now she looks at me with a cold anger exactly like you described. I say that, just to say you aren't alone... though while the stuff in these videos is actually kinda polite, I think other words for "avoidants" might be ones like cowardly and silly where I'm finding the key now is to try to not become angry as well, bottle it up or dwell on it, and see this no contact idea as the right course from here for very good reason. Good luck with your own situation, as well.
It’s been about 12 weeks since I got blindsided by my ex with the discard text. We’ve been dating for 18 months, never had an argument or disagreement, and what’s relevant to this post today, she never ever expressed any dissatisfaction or needs that weren’t being met. Looking back at the last 30 to 60 days of our relationship after listening to Ryan, I am sure there were levels of resentment that she had and that explains a great deal. I can only really guess what the resentments about, but it indeed explains a ton . It’s an awful way to go through life, it’s even doubly awful way to treat people when they end things. Instead of having a tantrum in the blows up and yells and screams, it’s like a silent tantrum with a short phrase and an abandonment. That’s horrible traumatic stuff. Thank you, ryan for painting a very realistic picture of something I hadn’t even thought about. If there was ever a question in my mind about wanting her back, and there hasn’t been for well over 60 days, there sure as hell isn’t now. I’ve been wondering why I have felt so victimized and brutalized, now it makes a lot more sense.
@@AndersJonson120easy to say but....don't. The hardest for me to grasp was that they never had any feelings for us. Or if they did, they were burried somewhere where neither the avoidant nor us, had access to them. And without feelings, the world would be one big black hole (for me for sure). So... just think that on the avoidant side, there was never anything real given to us.... no intimacy, no real closeness, no freedom of expression, no silly little arguments after which you only grow to know each other better and can laugh about it afterwards... I would even go as far as to say no humanity. You deserve better is such a cliche but you DO deserve better! ❤
Yep. That about sums up what happened to me. Brutally abandoned after 5 years of building a life together because he never communicated with me. And not only did he not communicate, he acted as if everything was fine. And when I did sense things were off and I asked him about it, he lied to my face. When he discarded me he said “how can this be a surprise to you? Haven’t you noticed I’ve been treating you differently?” While in the same breath saying to me that he could tell I was in shock. Such a terrible person he is and all avoidants are. I’m sympathetic to their issues and how they got this way, but these people should not be dating until they fix themselves. Absolute selfishness and cruelty what my avoidant did to me.
Actually avoidants resent their partners from the get-go. They need to do this to counter-balance the attraction they feel. And they do it through their flaw-finding technique. They will try to find, invent if necessary, any minor flaws in their partner and magnify them, blow them out of proportion as a reason to foster resentment. Then, as time goes by, the typical play out of a relationship with an avoidant is that the attraction they feel quickly dissipates, while the resentment they feel grows and grows. Therefore the collapse of the relationship is sealed from the get-go.
Wow very interesting. I noticed mine grew more resentful by the day of me, and when I would ask what’s wrong she would say “nothing”. It was strong attraction at first then slowly became more cold and less affectionate. Barely would hug me and stopped kissing me. Until a slow fade out and discard took place. Thank you for articulating this, I feel validated in my feelings now and that I tried my best to make it work, but she just had our fate sealed from the jump.
This is absolutely true. My avoidant told me that I hurt him. I asked him what I did? He said that "if I didn't know what I did, he didn't want to talk about it." He didn't show any responsibility for his part.
I kind of at this point don’t really care anymore. They don’t want your opinion on anything. They are severely self absorbed. It’s been 22 years of an avoidant emptiness. I just want my own life now. I’ve had enough. Pray, forgive and let go. Avoidants are a never ending mess with no hope. 😢
I met a woman recently, we spent 3 wonderful months together, never a cross word, it was very beautiful. Then one evening she shut down to me emotionally, out of the blue. I have some experience with these people, three days later I ended it. I'll not waste my time and energy on these people, I'll not give her a second chance, much as I adored her. They never take personal responsibility and are extremely destructive in relationships. Avoid the avoidants at all costs !!
This is spot on. Thankyou. You've helped me understand. My husband totally resented the financial pressure I put on him when I was sick. I could see the hate and resentment developing, but when I'd ask him to talk to me about it, he just wouldn't. When I tried to reassure him that things would get better when I got better, he just ignored me. His reason for leaving. We are not working anymore. I miss him but he has a nasty resentful streak.
Imagine an reality where a person you are with, especially spouse, will stay and help you whenever you are sick or down. Not only when you are happy about. Unbelievable is it? You and many others were settling for really unhealthy relationships where you had to guess and work on yourself to be perfect partner. God forbid you had a bad streak, you then are the most toxic person.
EXACTLY what my avoidant husband of 13 years is doing currently. It’s spooky to watch these videos because it’s literally like a script! He’s repeating the same pattern from his 1st marriage 20 years ago. Even down to him being infatuated with a co worker. It’s insane.
I broke down crying listening to this, bc this is exactly what happened and blamed myself for 2 years. Just this year I started standing up for myself and told myself I did everything right, I did the best I could with I knew. Still a long process of healing to be done though bc of it…
So true! Blindsided by something with zero chance to address. My ex shoved the phone to my ear wanting me to listen to a video her friend sent… apparently I was meant to ‘get her intent’ whilst driving at 100km hour on the highway trying to keep us and her daughter safe on the road. So ultimately she said she felt disheartened and unheard because I didn’t get the intent of why she made me listen to that video. FYI the video was about ‘ don’t date an independent woman if you can’t handle her independence ‘ I told her that video was irrelevant to me as I respect her independence. Apparently I was meant to say ‘ I understand why you made me listen to it ‘ as opposed to ‘ that doesn’t apply to me or how I treat you’. Stonewalled from that day for 2 months now.
Glad to know that there is a name for this type of person ! This video hit the nail on the head for me. This is what happened to me. Luckily i found a good counselor early on after being blind sided and discarded. And the counselor said it was on him not on me. The scary thing was he had already ghosted 2 of his long term friends prior to discarded me. And had complained about them and I said why don't you tell him why you are upset etc but he wanted to avoid the conflict and said they should be able to figure it out ! Didn't realise I was next in line for the "you should have known " treatment. I'm not a mind reader !!!
She got distant and stopped appreciating me for 9 months and I kept telling her I felt unseen. Eventually, I brought her her stuff, and told her if she doesn’t start treating me like a person I’m leaving and gave her the option. 9 months later she told me she resented me and lost feelings and yada yada then left me after 2 weeks of me introducing her to my closest family members. 3 year relationship down the drain.
It's a form of narcissistic behaviour. They're caught up in their own little bubble. And they'll amplify your issues to detract from their own. Ironically, the person accused me of being caught up in a bubble, because they projected so much onto me.... Afterwards, you have to look at it and disentangle, because they've made a decent person out to be quite poor. Sad really....
So accurate! Was told I didn’t create the atmosphere where they could communicate their needs and was made to feel the burden and blame of her failure to communicate for 2 years
My DA ex would specifically use the phrase " I'm always walking on eggshells around you " A vague expression of something she felt. But, I eventually learned that it had a lot to do with emotional availability and intimate connection. 💔
"You should just know" "They won't tell you a thing" = Resentment! They Cry with tears...like they care...That's what happened to me exactly! Fearful Avoidant. So cruel , 5 years...new toy for him now., wishI could let her know what she is in for....Coach...thank you
@@universaltruth2025 🥲 We are not worth what they are as failures. We are daughters of a King, worthy, loved, chosen and justified. Pray, forgive and move on.
That happened to me. She was bottling up all my "flaws". She was not comunicating anything at all. Everything was fine and she suddenly exploded and discarded. What if she fearful avoidant went into extreme dissmissive avoidant mode, discarded me obrubtly without any reason? Acording to her she had plenty of reasons created in her sick head (flaw finding). She became extremely mean to me, threatning me and i feel she just hate me. I never hurt her. I was bassically too good that's why she got scared and left. I don't want her back but i wonder why she hates me and if she will ever change her feelings for me? She went from huge love to hate in the period of five days. I am just curious
Most likely, she's expressing all the disdain from her life that's been bottled up for so long. I've been right where you are. Trust me, it's not your fault. They lack self- awareness and, at times, are downright delusional. You can't fix them with love or with rational communication, unfortunately. They have to self reflect on their actions, take accountability, and realize that they self sabotage. Professional help is the only way, but they have to want it for themselves. Value yourself and realize you don't deserve to be treated like a disposable resource. Your needs and wants matter, and there's someone out there who is looking for you. God bless 🙏🏼
@@Eric-np2yd thanks for support. I was not blaming myself even for one minute. I know that everything she said it was created in her sick head. I don't want her back, I know that my life is waaaaaay better without her, soon she will regret it and she will be lonely till the rest of her life without my help. Soon she will find out how the dating market looks like for her when she is 37. She will NEVER find such a good guy like me who will be treating her so good having enormous amount of patience, understanding and unconditional love. That's her choice.
This just happened to me. I got discarded for something that happened 5 months ago and that I believe is a huge misunderstanding with a lot of assumptions. I feel so blindsided. I overreacted trying to defend my character that I felt was being attacked. Looking back, they were just projecting. Safe to say our relationship is over 😞
Brilliant vid, Ryan. There is such a thing as telepathy but no such thing as a 24/7 telepath. Not only will an avoidant possibly resent you for this, but also, in the past you may have asked if something was bothering them, and to avoid it, they said no, and so you believed that thing didn't bother them, and then they forget they told you that and resent you for not "knowing". Years later, they may discard you and perhaps (but this is rare) bring up that same thing from years ago that they said didn't bother them but now it does. There's all sorts of games and tests to do with this too. Little, or big, lies to test whether you recognize them as such, and whether you know how they truly feel. Not all avoidants will do this to such an extreme, and so not everyone will have been through these experiences. Those who have will know exactly what I mean.
💔 I never realized there was a name for this type of behavior. So many years he had me questioning myself for wanting to be loved and having basic needs such as communication. He expected me to “just know” what his wants and needs were. I never realized just how much he resented me. He took no accountability for not communicating, being hurtful and not be loving in a relationship. He shut me down to the point where I could never communicate in fear of him ending things. I was made to be the fool. I hate myself for loving a man unconditionally that I invested over 7 years of my life- giving in to his terms to sustain the relationship. I felt so alone but wanted so much for it to work. I gave up on everything I ever wanted- marriage, intimacy,traveling, building a future. I couldn’t even have a dog which is now his best friend. It’s been so hard to understand. I’m trying to just let it all go.
@@youtubeaccountserio2633 yup. After 10 weeks of no contact she reached uot to me in very indirect way. I texted her back: "-Delete my number". She discarded me like trash without any reason. She wanted to finish our relationship forever. I fulfilled her wish
So, soooo, soooo truth! You helped me so much lately. You discoverd me whole new world of understanding what had happen to me at all. Thank you a lot from Croatia. ❤
DA and I do relate to this, and confess this has been a weak point for me. In case it can help others, here are a few points on why it goes down that way. - Once I already feel beaten down in the relationship due to perceived criticism, I don't feel like I deserve to be able to make requests. That can create a trap with no escape, since it just spirals down from there. - Many DAs don't understand their own emotions and needs enough to articulate what they want. They are unhappy in the relationship, but might not be able to pin it down to exactly what is the problem. - Many DAs do not believe people can change, so talking about certain things is just having conflict for no real reason. And asking a person to change is a big imposition (to the DA) - it means not accepting them as they are, which is a big no-no.
First of all many people don't even know they are dealing with an avoidant. They will communicate in normal fashion with them hoping that they are mature enough to understand yet treating them like normal mature adult person is the same thing that makes them resent you as a partner.. in short what you are saying is that their partners must walk on egg shells and ignore their own boundaries.
He never told me why he broke up with me except to say “ I’m not interested in drama “ wtf ! He’s the drama ! He’s the one that got super pissed off about something he didn’t like that I did and ghosted me and then broke up with me He was too stupid to tell me what was wrong - what I did to piss him off ! The only thing I got was why didn’t you tell me you didn’t wanna be with me !”
personally as a FA, it’s more that I don’t know how to talk about what bothers me without it backlashing - I am terrified of being too blunt, hurting the other person and have them reacting in a negative way. and when I do talk, indeed that’s what happens. thus, I just shut down.
Yep, exactly like that....After 5 years, he told me "you did x, x and x and I can't handle it! It shows disrespect for me"...never discussed....I said "How would I know, you never said anything". His response, "YOU should have known". THEN a slow painful fade. didn't give me a chance to address the issue as it really wasn't that big of deal. I was just unaware, tiny hints..."It just isn't your fault". ..your right, Thank you Coach!
As an FA, I struggle with this. Even when finally stating what I want and feel, I get dismissed by things like “not in the mood” or “calm your t-ts”, enforcing my refusal to say them. DAs really are masters of putting you down knowingly or unknowingly.
My avoidant (ex) liked to brag that he had the perfect upbringing. Truth: dropped on head @ 6mos old, dad left before age 1, mom in law school until he was 7 & remarried age 11. He lost his viginity at TWELVE YRS OLD.
I thought every child was told to go to your room and suck it up. Or my favorite, "If you don’t stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about." Really? Not everyone?
Thinking back she did try to communicate with me in some small ways but I wasn't able to open and reciprocate because of her cheating but now it makes a lot more sense. Maybe if she comes back one day then I'll try to look at things in a different way if she's willing to work on herself and go to therapy and heal her attachment style.
Can I send this video to my ex girlfriend? Coz after 3.5 years she dumped me its been over 2 months now. This is how she did to me for our relationship. I actually told her that she has a avoidant attachment style and told her to watch videos bout it but she doesn't mind. She's really stubborn and really cant communicate or have an argument or face the conflict with me face to face. She can only talk via chat or text. But cant communicate her wants and needs. Several times for the past years I really wanna break up with her but I choose to stay and still choose her. Tried to have an open and honest communication with her but whenever I tell her that she just nods. Its sad to be with her most of the times like you are with her but you feel like you are alone. She ended it after I accepted all her flaws and got really invested. She said she cannot be happy if she stay with me and did not choose to fix the issue or the relationship because she said " I want to search for my perfect match". Now she blocked me thru everything.
Wow, that hurts. I can only imagine what pain you're feeling. Mine told me something similar after 3 years, breaking up with me 2 days before my birthday. "I'm going to find someone better, and I will never be this sad again." I was so distraught I couldn't even try my birthday cake. She couldn't remember anything good about us, couldn't recall any of the wonderful times we shared. And I was always the one pinned as the problem, always the one that needed to do the work. And I always did, I always changed my behavior when asked. Honestly things were hard for me when we moved in together last year, and I really was at my worst with depression. I did have work to do. But I healed from it, and we'd been doing couples therapy for 5 months, and our relationship was beginning to feel so much better. I never saw it coming. Turns out there were about 100 things she never brought up to me because she thought thinking/feeling those things made her a bad person. And many of them were out of my control (disability, low income), but the ones that were, I never got a chance to address. Turns out she was "always unsure about me" and wasn't ready to truly share her life with someone. Even after picking out a baby name for our future first child and planning to buy a house together/ looking for houses that suited both our needs. I was also unsure at some later points, but recognized that, found the reasons why, brought them up to be addressed and recommited myself to her and the life we were building. She was ready to work through things together only if she could see it was a way for her to grow and wasn't just work i needed to do, which is fair imo. And she had decided there was nothing more for her to grow or heal in relationship with me. Despite being the most avoidant person I've ever closely known, she didn't see it as a problem. Despite people pleasing through every interaction with almost everyone she knows. Maybe she will find someone better suited to her life than me, she probably will. But "better" really was a stake in the heart. And she's going to continue having these issues, being stressed by closeness, being buried under self shame, and difficulty creating honest, intimate relationships where she feels known and seen until she sees it. And I feel really sorry for her. She said I was the first person to ever know her so deeply. And I feel sorry for myself, of course, because I really miss my person, and the life I had built with her. I'll probably always hold the love we shared in my heart for having qualities that I really want in union. Despite it all, I sadly still love her and a part of me wishes she would come back, even knowing that things would likely be the same. Starting all over sucks. Good luck, everyone. Godspeed 🙏
Hey brother! I am going through the same thing, starting over sucks! I understand, but we must do it, there’s no other way! We need to continue with our lives, and keep pushing! I am coming for a three-year relationship, we were engaged, but she discarded me two months before our wedding this month!
Yeah, I hope you don’t live in Portland, Oregon because this sounds like my ex-girlfriend too. I’m just amazed how Ryan is able to just be like he’s been sitting on our shoulders watching us go through this misery. I’m really sorry to hear you’ve had such a challenge with this, you are not alone.
True Wisdom helpful thank you for all your videos educating helping people ✨🌠hardest lesson 🚂 correct Freight Teain blindsided no communication everything you talked about so accurate
Possibly the dismissive avoidant does not have any file in their existence that what they need matters to anyone, it was so blown away as if they stepped on a land mine when crying as an infant or toddler. There may be no file for this at it was obliterated.
Yeah I said why did you ask me to be your girlfriend a couple days ago? Then miss my birthday and break up with me without any real answer? Now there is no contact and he ghosted me like I never existed.
OK, as an anxious attached person, I recently sorta mirrored his anxious avoidant behaviour and pulled the deactivation move 😅: Listing out behaviours what have been bothering me to the guy I've been in contact with. Then straight went to no contact. Now working on a mindset of indifference towards this guy. I have to say, it's sort of a novel experience, not doing the chasing and working mindfully on learning not to care this time 😂
Incredible! It feels like you must have witnessed the relationship with my avoidant ex?partner . He said that he would be resentful towards me. Even admitted that this would be unfair towards me and took some of the blame. No idea how to take it from here because we have a child together and I wished we could break this vicious circle for our child and become better role models together.
I wish you strength bc having a child or children with an avoidant is painful. I have two and he is MIA and when I approach him about showing up he always blames me for not being there when all I do is fight for him to be there for our kids. It’s devastating!
20 years and three kids she handled all these avoidant issues to a degree but when her mother died, it was a death sentence for us and our children. There were other traumas following her mother dying, very sad. Her story is falling apart with everyone she told. Sprinkle in in the childhood emotional neglect the perimenopause/menopause equals not good.
yeah, scary stuff! i’m 31 years in and 2 adult sons. i believe she has had this discard planned for years. i’m better off without her but i still love her. the gaslighting, stonewalling & deflections are now clear to see but still hard to accept, but i don’t have a choice. the betrayal is so painful
I got discarded by my avoidant friend due to me laughing at an emoji he sent, and asked what his message was. He called me racist. WTF😂😂 It’s that perceived criticism and he said, “ I know I’m weird”😂
I wonder if after breakup, and after leaving her alone and going no contact for many weeks she will not feel resentment to me and her feelings to me will come back when she will start missing me. I know she will miss me sooner or later. But what about resentment? I never hurt her btw. I am just curious
Same situation I was sent a post last night if her reposting some that said another day without a boyfriend thank god and she even told me I treated her well and she acknowledged that she never communicated but her a lot of her post have been her just throwing shade
@@taylormadegaming9259same she told me that I’m such a good person and that there’s not a lot of guys like me, but still left. She said it was just cause she lost feelings due to not wanting to be in a relationship anymore. But then she ends up blocking me on almost everything when I didn’t even try contacting her? Like what? I thought we were on good terms
Can you do a video about the avoidant's needs and if they should be met or put a boundary that their need is not helpful to the relationship (example: need of space, fear of being controlled)
4 месяца назад+6
This happened to me. F that creep, she ghosted me and now my love has turned to vitriol. I pray she reaches out some day so i can begin the slow process of loving her on her terms, then cheating on her and ghosting her. I cant wait😊
Just find someone new to district yourself and let her be. These people aren't worth any effort. She is gonna play some mind games too. Just ignore her completely.
4 месяца назад+2
@@prernanaithani5971 As you know. It's not about my lost love. It's about how totally ripped off I feel when I consider the many things she did that were absolutely evil. All because she found a tweaker that validated her. I love/loved her on a very deep level and it scared her. No notice, just move the druggie in and Ghost your boyfriend. I'm not letting go of my now resentment till I teach her how it feels.
Bro - think I can read between the lines that you are actually like myself a very good looking, intelligent, young gentleman, living life with respect to certain traditional values like opening the doors of the car, restaurant etc. For her, standing up at the desk if she has to go to the restroom, treat women with respect and decency. At least that’s what I hope cause I had the same rage you still feel burning like a thousand hells inside of you. I cannot relate however to the cheating part thank god. Have to say when I was younger, and even loved the girl, still had sex with other girls, sometimes even not a 9.5/10 like my gf but 8s snd yes sometimes 10s. However I feel like shit thinking back cause if she knew and even though was only for physical aspects, as I had my first time with this gf talking about, thought to myself can’t only ever sleep with one girl with all the others coming after me… You want to show her, how YOU feel. Make her miserable like you feel atm - believe me, you think ull feel better but u won’t, know why? Cause currently you are attributing INTENTION ONTO HER ACTIONS, that she had the aim of dragging you in, getting yourself heavily invested just to chew you thoroughly and spit you out like a used old gum. Believe me I know to well how those thoughts run through. Our head ALL THE TIME, DAY SND NIGHT, EVERY AWAKENING MOMENT. But two things - a) you would not be able to play out this plan - why? cause you will at some point realize that she did not do it intentionally with malicious intent but that her subconscious, affected by the emotional unavailability of her caretakers leads her to conduct those actions - to build up enough emotional distance such she can AVOID SELFREFLECTION but continue the habitualized behaviors she falsely thinks she’s safe with. You will feel disgusted by yourself and consequently face the danger of actually being dragged in by her again after this point in time. B) you would not, snd I mean unrelated to whatever she did xactly additionally or not, YOU WILL NOT LOWER YOURSELF AND WILL NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO SINK DOWN TO THE SAME IMMATURE, LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL, LEVEL OF LIVING RELATIONSHIPS!!! That is not how your parents raised you - or think your Paps and Grandpa would appreciate seeing you play such ridiculous games to hurt a physically AND AS Realized ALSO MENTALLY WEAKER HUMAN BEING COMPARED TO YOU!! Start to Analyse the situation on a deeper level and you will feel compassion for this poor, emotionally unavailable, totally unhappy, confused and having lost all life purpose and direction female individual. You are worth more, do you think the experience has made you weaker? Maybe, but only temporarily - please believe me mate, YOU WILL PREVAIL AND SUCCEED IN LIFE while she will be miserable, alone snd ending up getting fucked by fat, ugly and dirty 50,60 year old men at bars when she turned 40 onwards. You won. She lost. Well played Gentleman!
@@MSP2104 When good people let bad people get away with it, then bad people will continue to the next victim. Never let bad people hurt others, or you infant are bad.
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
From every video, I have never heard such an accurate description of what I have experienced for 4 years. I do not think I could have moved on well without this videos. It helps me understand what has happened and why. Bro thank you for making this videos.
Damaged people. Will ruin your life.
So true.
They do the slow fade so you look like the bad guy and they can play the victim when you break up with them.
They are very narcissistic
Yeah that about sums it up. The last time I saw him, I remember he looked at me with all this hatred… like all the love and empathy was just gone. He was a whole different person, like a total stranger. I’ll never forget it. I didn’t even bother asking him to stay because I knew it was pointless
Same. It was like there was something I was supposed to have known like a psychic/mind-reader, but by not getting it I failed. Thought I was being normal and caring at a basic, even gentle and slow level. I wouldn't even have noticed her in the first place if she hadn't gone touching me and blushing, when she started as my boss and I thought I should leave to find a better job to equalize with her, but I guess she felt best staying my boss or even felt abandoned when I wanted to do that. Now she looks at me with a cold anger exactly like you described. I say that, just to say you aren't alone... though while the stuff in these videos is actually kinda polite, I think other words for "avoidants" might be ones like cowardly and silly where I'm finding the key now is to try to not become angry as well, bottle it up or dwell on it, and see this no contact idea as the right course from here for very good reason.
Good luck with your own situation, as well.
"like all the love and empathy was just gone. He was a whole different person, like a total stranger. I’ll never forget it."
Yes.
yep
Yea...
I think I'm an avoidant. But an empath
Help!
It’s been about 12 weeks since I got blindsided by my ex with the discard text. We’ve been dating for 18 months, never had an argument or disagreement, and what’s relevant to this post today, she never ever expressed any dissatisfaction or needs that weren’t being met.
Looking back at the last 30 to 60 days of our relationship after listening to Ryan, I am sure there were levels of resentment that she had and that explains a great deal. I can only really guess what the resentments about, but it indeed explains a ton .
It’s an awful way to go through life, it’s even doubly awful way to treat people when they end things. Instead of having a tantrum in the blows up and yells and screams, it’s like a silent tantrum with a short phrase and an abandonment.
That’s horrible traumatic stuff. Thank you, ryan for painting a very realistic picture of something I hadn’t even thought about.
If there was ever a question in my mind about wanting her back, and there hasn’t been for well over 60 days, there sure as hell isn’t now. I’ve been wondering why I have felt so victimized and brutalized, now it makes a lot more sense.
Basically the exact same story here. Very traumatizing, questioning and blaming myself every day. PTSD.
@@AndersJonson120easy to say but....don't. The hardest for me to grasp was that they never had any feelings for us. Or if they did, they were burried somewhere where neither the avoidant nor us, had access to them. And without feelings, the world would be one big black hole (for me for sure). So... just think that on the avoidant side, there was never anything real given to us.... no intimacy, no real closeness, no freedom of expression, no silly little arguments after which you only grow to know each other better and can laugh about it afterwards... I would even go as far as to say no humanity.
You deserve better is such a cliche but you DO deserve better! ❤
@@isidorap.2485Powerful observations and words. All very sad.
Yep. That about sums up what happened to me. Brutally abandoned after 5 years of building a life together because he never communicated with me. And not only did he not communicate, he acted as if everything was fine. And when I did sense things were off and I asked him about it, he lied to my face.
When he discarded me he said “how can this be a surprise to you? Haven’t you noticed I’ve been treating you differently?” While in the same breath saying to me that he could tell I was in shock.
Such a terrible person he is and all avoidants are. I’m sympathetic to their issues and how they got this way, but these people should not be dating until they fix themselves.
Absolute selfishness and cruelty what my avoidant did to me.
I feel for you! I wish you a peaceful and proper recovery. I am going through the same thing, I understand you! You are not alone! ❤
@@R2-SOthank you so much. I wish the same for you.
Actually avoidants resent their partners from the get-go. They need to do this to counter-balance the attraction they feel. And they do it through their flaw-finding technique. They will try to find, invent if necessary, any minor flaws in their partner and magnify them, blow them out of proportion as a reason to foster resentment. Then, as time goes by, the typical play out of a relationship with an avoidant is that the attraction they feel quickly dissipates, while the resentment they feel grows and grows. Therefore the collapse of the relationship is sealed from the get-go.
Very interesting comment. One of the ways Avoidant shares similarities with BPD.
Yep. Mine built up 11 years of resentment then blamed me for EVERYTHING.
Wow very interesting. I noticed mine grew more resentful by the day of me, and when I would ask what’s wrong she would say “nothing”. It was strong attraction at first then slowly became more cold and less affectionate. Barely would hug me and stopped kissing me. Until a slow fade out and discard took place. Thank you for articulating this, I feel validated in my feelings now and that I tried my best to make it work, but she just had our fate sealed from the jump.
Mine did this to me and it was disgusting! He is toxic and just keeps jumping from one woman to another!
The resent you to keep the distance
This is absolutely true. My avoidant told me that I hurt him. I asked him what I did? He said that "if I didn't know what I did, he didn't want to talk about it." He didn't show any responsibility for his part.
I kind of at this point don’t really care anymore. They don’t want your opinion on anything. They are severely self absorbed. It’s been 22 years of an avoidant emptiness. I just want my own life now. I’ve had enough. Pray, forgive and let go. Avoidants are a never ending mess with no hope. 😢
I met a woman recently, we spent 3 wonderful months together, never a cross word, it was very beautiful. Then one evening she shut down to me emotionally, out of the blue. I have some experience with these people, three days later I ended it. I'll not waste my time and energy on these people, I'll not give her a second chance, much as I adored her. They never take personal responsibility and are extremely destructive in relationships. Avoid the avoidants at all costs !!
This is spot on. Thankyou. You've helped me understand. My husband totally resented the financial pressure I put on him when I was sick. I could see the hate and resentment developing, but when I'd ask him to talk to me about it, he just wouldn't. When I tried to reassure him that things would get better when I got better, he just ignored me. His reason for leaving. We are not working anymore. I miss him but he has a nasty resentful streak.
Imagine an reality where a person you are with, especially spouse, will stay and help you whenever you are sick or down. Not only when you are happy about. Unbelievable is it? You and many others were settling for really unhealthy relationships where you had to guess and work on yourself to be perfect partner. God forbid you had a bad streak, you then are the most toxic person.
EXACTLY what my avoidant husband of 13 years is doing currently. It’s spooky to watch these videos because it’s literally like a script! He’s repeating the same pattern from his 1st marriage 20 years ago. Even down to him being infatuated with a co worker. It’s insane.
I broke down crying listening to this, bc this is exactly what happened and blamed myself for 2 years. Just this year I started standing up for myself and told myself I did everything right, I did the best I could with I knew. Still a long process of healing to be done though bc of it…
Me too
So true! Blindsided by something with zero chance to address. My ex shoved the phone to my ear wanting me to listen to a video her friend sent… apparently I was meant to ‘get her intent’ whilst driving at 100km hour on the highway trying to keep us and her daughter safe on the road. So ultimately she said she felt disheartened and unheard because I didn’t get the intent of why she made me listen to that video. FYI the video was about ‘ don’t date an independent woman if you can’t handle her independence ‘ I told her that video was irrelevant to me as I respect her independence. Apparently I was meant to say ‘ I understand why you made me listen to it ‘ as opposed to ‘ that doesn’t apply to me or how I treat you’.
Stonewalled from that day for 2 months now.
Inversion of reality for these people!
Avoidants= I want my cake and eat it too😂
So true
They want FWB
They want FWB
Glad to know that there is a name for this type of person !
This video hit the nail on the head for me.
This is what happened to me.
Luckily i found a good counselor early on after being blind sided and discarded. And the counselor said it was on him not on me.
The scary thing was he had already ghosted 2 of his long term friends prior to discarded me. And had complained about them and I said why don't you tell him why you are upset etc but he wanted to avoid the conflict and said they should be able to figure it out !
Didn't realise I was next in line for the "you should have known " treatment.
I'm not a mind reader !!!
She got distant and stopped appreciating me for 9 months and I kept telling her I felt unseen. Eventually, I brought her her stuff, and told her if she doesn’t start treating me like a person I’m leaving and gave her the option. 9 months later she told me she resented me and lost feelings and yada yada then left me after 2 weeks of me introducing her to my closest family members. 3 year relationship down the drain.
Exactly. He always used to tell me "oh you're good"! So I thought I/ we were good...until he ghosted me!
Overgrown Toddlers
It's a form of narcissistic behaviour. They're caught up in their own little bubble. And they'll amplify your issues to detract from their own.
Ironically, the person accused me of being caught up in a bubble, because they projected so much onto me....
Afterwards, you have to look at it and disentangle, because they've made a decent person out to be quite poor.
Sad really....
So accurate! Was told I didn’t create the atmosphere where they could communicate their needs and was made to feel the burden and blame of her failure to communicate for 2 years
I was told "I didn't create an environment for her to learn foster and grow." I said I ain't your mother.
My DA ex would specifically use the phrase " I'm always walking on eggshells around you " A vague expression of something she felt. But, I eventually learned that it had a lot to do with emotional availability and intimate connection. 💔
"You should just know" "They won't tell you a thing" = Resentment! They Cry with tears...like they care...That's what happened to me exactly! Fearful Avoidant. So cruel , 5 years...new toy for him now., wishI could let her know what she is in for....Coach...thank you
Hey just sit back because they are repeated offenders cycle after cycle you already know how this is going to play out.
If I died my avoidant husband wouldn’t care. Such a waste of my life 😢
@@universaltruth2025 🥲 We are not worth what they are as failures. We are daughters of a King, worthy, loved, chosen and justified. Pray, forgive and move on.
Well I would, people with feelings need to stick together ❤
That happened to me. She was bottling up all my "flaws". She was not comunicating anything at all. Everything was fine and she suddenly exploded and discarded. What if she fearful avoidant went into extreme dissmissive avoidant mode, discarded me obrubtly without any reason? Acording to her she had plenty of reasons created in her sick head (flaw finding). She became extremely mean to me, threatning me and i feel she just hate me. I never hurt her. I was bassically too good that's why she got scared and left. I don't want her back but i wonder why she hates me and if she will ever change her feelings for me? She went from huge love to hate in the period of five days. I am just curious
Most likely, she's expressing all the disdain from her life that's been bottled up for so long. I've been right where you are. Trust me, it's not your fault. They lack self- awareness and, at times, are downright delusional. You can't fix them with love or with rational communication, unfortunately. They have to self reflect on their actions, take accountability, and realize that they self sabotage. Professional help is the only way, but they have to want it for themselves. Value yourself and realize you don't deserve to be treated like a disposable resource. Your needs and wants matter, and there's someone out there who is looking for you. God bless 🙏🏼
@@Eric-np2yd thanks for support. I was not blaming myself even for one minute. I know that everything she said it was created in her sick head. I don't want her back, I know that my life is waaaaaay better without her, soon she will regret it and she will be lonely till the rest of her life without my help. Soon she will find out how the dating market looks like for her when she is 37. She will NEVER find such a good guy like me who will be treating her so good having enormous amount of patience, understanding and unconditional love. That's her choice.
Or maybe they discard you because they were tired of you getting angry at them for their heartless shenanigans
I believe this is true
I think there should be a video about THAT too!
😂
Or maybe because we won’t take their delusional bullshit😂😂
This just happened to me. I got discarded for something that happened 5 months ago and that I believe is a huge misunderstanding with a lot of assumptions. I feel so blindsided. I overreacted trying to defend my character that I felt was being attacked. Looking back, they were just projecting. Safe to say our relationship is over 😞
Brilliant vid, Ryan. There is such a thing as telepathy but no such thing as a 24/7 telepath. Not only will an avoidant possibly resent you for this, but also, in the past you may have asked if something was bothering them, and to avoid it, they said no, and so you believed that thing didn't bother them, and then they forget they told you that and resent you for not "knowing". Years later, they may discard you and perhaps (but this is rare) bring up that same thing from years ago that they said didn't bother them but now it does. There's all sorts of games and tests to do with this too. Little, or big, lies to test whether you recognize them as such, and whether you know how they truly feel. Not all avoidants will do this to such an extreme, and so not everyone will have been through these experiences. Those who have will know exactly what I mean.
💔 I never realized there was a name for this type of behavior. So many years he had me questioning myself for wanting to be loved and having basic needs such as communication. He expected me to “just know” what his wants and needs were. I never realized just how much he resented me. He took no accountability for not communicating, being hurtful and not be loving in a relationship. He shut me down to the point where I could never communicate in fear of him ending things. I was made to be the fool. I hate myself for loving a man unconditionally that I invested over 7 years of my life- giving in to his terms to sustain the relationship. I felt so alone but wanted so much for it to work. I gave up on everything I ever wanted- marriage, intimacy,traveling, building a future. I couldn’t even have a dog which is now his best friend. It’s been so hard to understand. I’m trying to just let it all go.
an attractive woman like you won’t have a problem finding someone else. beware of the rebound, you now know what to avoid & that’s an avoidant!
Same. Ten years for me. I'm so sorry. We need an Avoidant Partners Anonymous support group or something. 😭😭
There is a one good thing when avoidant resents you: she/he is not coming back! Thank God!
They always come back
@@youtubeaccountserio2633 yup. After 10 weeks of no contact she reached uot to me in very indirect way. I texted her back: "-Delete my number". She discarded me like trash without any reason. She wanted to finish our relationship forever. I fulfilled her wish
@@1224pologood for you
So, soooo, soooo truth! You helped me so much lately. You discoverd me whole new world of understanding what had happen to me at all. Thank you a lot from Croatia. ❤
DA and I do relate to this, and confess this has been a weak point for me. In case it can help others, here are a few points on why it goes down that way.
- Once I already feel beaten down in the relationship due to perceived criticism, I don't feel like I deserve to be able to make requests. That can create a trap with no escape, since it just spirals down from there.
- Many DAs don't understand their own emotions and needs enough to articulate what they want. They are unhappy in the relationship, but might not be able to pin it down to exactly what is the problem.
- Many DAs do not believe people can change, so talking about certain things is just having conflict for no real reason. And asking a person to change is a big imposition (to the DA) - it means not accepting them as they are, which is a big no-no.
First of all many people don't even know they are dealing with an avoidant. They will communicate in normal fashion with them hoping that they are mature enough to understand yet treating them like normal mature adult person is the same thing that makes them resent you as a partner.. in short what you are saying is that their partners must walk on egg shells and ignore their own boundaries.
He never told me why he broke up with me except to say “ I’m not interested in drama “ wtf ! He’s the drama ! He’s the one that got super pissed off about something he didn’t like that I did and ghosted me and then broke up with me
He was too stupid to tell me what was wrong - what I did to piss him off !
The only thing I got was why didn’t you tell me you
didn’t wanna be with me !”
personally as a FA, it’s more that I don’t know how to talk about what bothers me without it backlashing - I am terrified of being too blunt, hurting the other person and have them reacting in a negative way. and when I do talk, indeed that’s what happens. thus, I just shut down.
Yep, exactly like that....After 5 years, he told me "you did x, x and x and I can't handle it! It shows disrespect for me"...never discussed....I said "How would I know, you never said anything". His response, "YOU should have known". THEN a slow painful fade. didn't give me a chance to address the issue as it really wasn't that big of deal. I was just unaware, tiny hints..."It just isn't your fault". ..your right, Thank you Coach!
Spot on 😊
Word for word!
As an FA, I struggle with this. Even when finally stating what I want and feel, I get dismissed by things like “not in the mood” or “calm your t-ts”, enforcing my refusal to say them. DAs really are masters of putting you down knowingly or unknowingly.
It's like the enigma hard to crack..
Wow Coach. I always told her she was speaking cryptic to me when she would tell me things bothered her.
It really is like dealing with a 14 yr old
Yeeep. I was dealing with a child in a 37 year old body.
My avoidant (ex) liked to brag that he had the perfect upbringing. Truth: dropped on head @ 6mos old, dad left before age 1, mom in law school until he was 7 & remarried age 11. He lost his viginity at TWELVE YRS OLD.
I thought every child was told to go to your room and suck it up. Or my favorite, "If you don’t stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about." Really? Not everyone?
That's insane to me we can not read minds so again leave them alone heck our needs are never met
Me when I realize a guy is an avoidant......
🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️
Exactly 😂😂
Thinking back she did try to communicate with me in some small ways but I wasn't able to open and reciprocate because of her cheating but now it makes a lot more sense. Maybe if she comes back one day then I'll try to look at things in a different way if she's willing to work on herself and go to therapy and heal her attachment style.
Can I send this video to my ex girlfriend? Coz after 3.5 years she dumped me its been over 2 months now. This is how she did to me for our relationship. I actually told her that she has a avoidant attachment style and told her to watch videos bout it but she doesn't mind. She's really stubborn and really cant communicate or have an argument or face the conflict with me face to face. She can only talk via chat or text. But cant communicate her wants and needs. Several times for the past years I really wanna break up with her but I choose to stay and still choose her. Tried to have an open and honest communication with her but whenever I tell her that she just nods. Its sad to be with her most of the times like you are with her but you feel like you are alone. She ended it after I accepted all her flaws and got really invested. She said she cannot be happy if she stay with me and did not choose to fix the issue or the relationship because she said " I want to search for my perfect match". Now she blocked me thru everything.
Wow, that hurts. I can only imagine what pain you're feeling.
Mine told me something similar after 3 years, breaking up with me 2 days before my birthday. "I'm going to find someone better, and I will never be this sad again."
I was so distraught I couldn't even try my birthday cake.
She couldn't remember anything good about us, couldn't recall any of the wonderful times we shared. And I was always the one pinned as the problem, always the one that needed to do the work. And I always did, I always changed my behavior when asked.
Honestly things were hard for me when we moved in together last year, and I really was at my worst with depression. I did have work to do. But I healed from it, and we'd been doing couples therapy for 5 months, and our relationship was beginning to feel so much better. I never saw it coming.
Turns out there were about 100 things she never brought up to me because she thought thinking/feeling those things made her a bad person. And many of them were out of my control (disability, low income), but the ones that were, I never got a chance to address. Turns out she was "always unsure about me" and wasn't ready to truly share her life with someone. Even after picking out a baby name for our future first child and planning to buy a house together/ looking for houses that suited both our needs.
I was also unsure at some later points, but recognized that, found the reasons why, brought them up to be addressed and recommited myself to her and the life we were building.
She was ready to work through things together only if she could see it was a way for her to grow and wasn't just work i needed to do, which is fair imo. And she had decided there was nothing more for her to grow or heal in relationship with me. Despite being the most avoidant person I've ever closely known, she didn't see it as a problem. Despite people pleasing through every interaction with almost everyone she knows.
Maybe she will find someone better suited to her life than me, she probably will.
But "better" really was a stake in the heart.
And she's going to continue having these issues, being stressed by closeness, being buried under self shame, and difficulty creating honest, intimate relationships where she feels known and seen until she sees it. And I feel really sorry for her.
She said I was the first person to ever know her so deeply.
And I feel sorry for myself, of course, because I really miss my person, and the life I had built with her. I'll probably always hold the love we shared in my heart for having qualities that I really want in union. Despite it all, I sadly still love her and a part of me wishes she would come back, even knowing that things would likely be the same.
Starting all over sucks.
Good luck, everyone. Godspeed 🙏
Hey brother! I am going through the same thing, starting over sucks! I understand, but we must do it, there’s no other way! We need to continue with our lives, and keep pushing! I am coming for a three-year relationship, we were engaged, but she discarded me two months before our wedding this month!
Yeah, I hope you don’t live in Portland, Oregon because this sounds like my ex-girlfriend too.
I’m just amazed how Ryan is able to just be like he’s been sitting on our shoulders watching us go through this misery.
I’m really sorry to hear you’ve had such a challenge with this, you are not alone.
True Wisdom helpful thank you for all your videos educating helping people ✨🌠hardest lesson 🚂 correct Freight Teain blindsided no communication everything you talked about so accurate
Possibly the dismissive avoidant does not have any file in their existence that what they need matters to anyone, it was so blown away as if they stepped on a land mine when crying as an infant or toddler. There may be no file for this at it was obliterated.
Yeah I said why did you ask me to be your girlfriend a couple days ago? Then miss my birthday and break up with me without any real answer? Now there is no contact and he ghosted me like I never existed.
OK, as an anxious attached person, I recently sorta mirrored his anxious avoidant behaviour and pulled the deactivation move 😅:
Listing out behaviours what have been bothering me to the guy I've been in contact with. Then straight went to no contact. Now working on a mindset of indifference towards this guy.
I have to say, it's sort of a novel experience, not doing the chasing and working mindfully on learning not to care this time 😂
Can confirm this.🙄🥴
Incredible!
It feels like you must have witnessed the relationship with my avoidant ex?partner .
He said that he would be resentful towards me. Even admitted that this would be unfair towards me and took some of the blame. No idea how to take it from here because we have a child together and I wished we could break this vicious circle for our child and become better role models together.
He probably resents that I caught him yuckking it up with his ex in a bar after telling me they hadn't communicated in months.
I wish you strength bc having a child or children with an avoidant is painful. I have two and he is MIA and when I approach him about showing up he always blames me for not being there when all I do is fight for him to be there for our kids. It’s devastating!
20 years and three kids she handled all these avoidant issues to a degree but when her mother died, it was a death sentence for us and our children. There were other traumas following her mother dying, very sad. Her story is falling apart with everyone she told. Sprinkle in in the childhood emotional neglect the perimenopause/menopause equals not good.
yeah, scary stuff! i’m 31 years in and 2 adult sons. i believe she has had this discard planned for years. i’m better off without her but i still love her. the gaslighting, stonewalling & deflections are now clear to see but still hard to accept, but i don’t have a choice. the betrayal is so painful
Nope he was very vocal...he wanted space and time and me to go away and let him call the shots
Mine was both vocal and quiet. Sometimes he spoke other times he was silent. It was infuriating
@@freewomanHot and cold behavior, that's so annoying
@@colored433 highly
I got discarded by my avoidant friend due to me laughing at an emoji he sent, and asked what his message was. He called me racist. WTF😂😂 It’s that perceived criticism and he said, “ I know I’m weird”😂
I wonder if after breakup, and after leaving her alone and going no contact for many weeks she will not feel resentment to me and her feelings to me will come back when she will start missing me. I know she will miss me sooner or later. But what about resentment? I never hurt her btw. I am just curious
Same situation I was sent a post last night if her reposting some that said another day without a boyfriend thank god and she even told me I treated her well and she acknowledged that she never communicated but her a lot of her post have been her just throwing shade
@@taylormadegaming9259same she told me that I’m such a good person and that there’s not a lot of guys like me, but still left. She said it was just cause she lost feelings due to not wanting to be in a relationship anymore. But then she ends up blocking me on almost everything when I didn’t even try contacting her? Like what? I thought we were on good terms
Is this channel has a FB page?
Instagram
🤯🤯🤯
👍
Can you do a video about the avoidant's needs and if they should be met or put a boundary that their need is not helpful to the relationship (example: need of space, fear of being controlled)
This happened to me. F that creep, she ghosted me and now my love has turned to vitriol. I pray she reaches out some day so i can begin the slow process of loving her on her terms, then cheating on her and ghosting her. I cant wait😊
Just find someone new to district yourself and let her be. These people aren't worth any effort. She is gonna play some mind games too. Just ignore her completely.
@@prernanaithani5971
As you know. It's not about my lost love. It's about how totally ripped off I feel when I consider the many things she did that were absolutely evil. All because she found a tweaker that validated her. I love/loved her on a very deep level and it scared her. No notice, just move the druggie in and Ghost your boyfriend. I'm not letting go of my now resentment till I teach her how it feels.
Bro - think I can read between the lines that you are actually like myself a very good looking, intelligent, young gentleman, living life with respect to certain traditional values like opening the doors of the car, restaurant etc. For her, standing up at the desk if she has to go to the restroom, treat women with respect and decency.
At least that’s what I hope cause I had the same rage you still feel burning like a thousand hells inside of you. I cannot relate however to the cheating part thank god.
Have to say when I was younger, and even loved the girl, still had sex with other girls, sometimes even not a 9.5/10 like my gf but 8s snd yes sometimes 10s. However I feel like shit thinking back cause if she knew and even though was only for physical aspects, as I had my first time with this gf talking about, thought to myself can’t only ever sleep with one girl with all the others coming after me…
You want to show her, how YOU feel. Make her miserable like you feel atm - believe me, you think ull feel better but u won’t, know why?
Cause currently you are attributing INTENTION ONTO HER ACTIONS, that she had the aim of dragging you in, getting yourself heavily invested just to chew you thoroughly and spit you out like a used old gum. Believe me I know to well how those thoughts run through. Our head ALL THE TIME, DAY SND NIGHT, EVERY AWAKENING MOMENT.
But two things - a) you would not be able to play out this plan - why? cause you will at some point realize that she did not do it intentionally with malicious intent but that her subconscious, affected by the emotional unavailability of her caretakers leads her to conduct those actions - to build up enough emotional distance such she can AVOID SELFREFLECTION but continue the habitualized behaviors she falsely thinks she’s safe with.
You will feel disgusted by yourself and consequently face the danger of actually being dragged in by her again after this point in time.
B) you would not, snd I mean unrelated to whatever she did xactly additionally or not, YOU WILL NOT LOWER YOURSELF AND WILL NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO SINK DOWN TO THE SAME IMMATURE, LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL, LEVEL OF LIVING RELATIONSHIPS!!! That is not how your parents raised you - or think your Paps and Grandpa would appreciate seeing you play such ridiculous games to hurt a physically AND AS Realized ALSO MENTALLY WEAKER HUMAN BEING COMPARED TO YOU!!
Start to Analyse the situation on a deeper level and you will feel compassion for this poor, emotionally unavailable, totally unhappy, confused and having lost all life purpose and direction female individual. You are worth more, do you think the experience has made you weaker?
Maybe, but only temporarily - please believe me mate, YOU WILL PREVAIL AND SUCCEED IN LIFE while she will be miserable, alone snd ending up getting fucked by fat, ugly and dirty 50,60 year old men at bars when she turned 40 onwards.
You won. She lost. Well played Gentleman!
Revenge as the answer? Grow up.
@@MSP2104 When good people let bad people get away with it, then bad people will continue to the next victim. Never let bad people hurt others, or you infant are bad.
I’m the person you’re describing but the person I was dealing with was just as bad at communicating as I was.🫤