I've learnt that we ALL go through similar challenges, yet feel like we are the ONLY ones that have experienced this. We don't know who to talk to, and don't have any solutions.
I got hurt when I was 28 and it was not just cheating and lying and some things I cannot disclose. I haven't really dated since, I have tried but for me, it's when the other person wants to lie about their intentions. So now I'm just leaving my life raising my boy and when the right person comes I feel like I will know when it is time. I'm turning 36 in 2 months, a single mom to a 4-year-old, have a property, and working on that debt-free life. But relationships scare me shame no lies.
This hit home, I'm 29 living by myself, have a stable job a car and no kids, After I got cheated on at age 20 I've never been the same and all the points you've raised are valid. My Mother asked me when she's getting her grandkids last week, I lied to her because I didn't want to break her heart. I don't think there is a solution. Just decided to go solo for my mental health.
Hit the nail on the head. - As a gent you also develop trust issues. You can't take women seriously because a few years ago when you were broke they ignored you and now when your driving a nicer car and living in a better neighborhood they want to rush in to moving in and corner you in to having serious relationship. It plays with your mind and your usually hardened emotionally by ex girlfriends and being ignored by women in your 20's. It puts in a Grey area where you date but you don't care whether a woman walks in to your life or leaves. Women can pick up on this and think that you don't care but it's not that you don't care, it's that you know how fickle women are and whether they come or go, your life is already in check financially, there's nothing major that she's contributing that you can't hire someone to assist with. - Having to masturbate in your 20s also conditioned you to living life without women. Yes, you do need touch and affection but you also know how to live life without it. - When a guy is doing well and his career is on the up, he is not in a rush outside of social pressure to get married. He know that he can always get a woman if he's in relatively good shape, looks good and has a good income. The main pressure is when he internally want to become a father. Not so much to be a boyfriend or husband. - Men also hesitate to date in their 30s because often times they have black tax and a lot of women also come with black tax. The thing about being a man, you know that you will have to assist her family together with your own family and get squeezed further. - Single people in their 30s also have created systems that ensure the smooth running of their lives. If they work well, they afford house cleaners and have meal plans and routines which relationships throw off. For example if you normally do sport like boxing after work until 8 at night and have your meals pre prepared, that all goes out the window. Now a guy has to be home earlier to watch TV and can't get better at a sport or can't work on a side hustle because his girl will be upset. Women will also want you to go to bed when they go to bed etc. The excessive attachment of women becomes a weight and a barrier to freedom. Even married friends end up using their single friends as excuses to spend longer time outside the house, while women want to spend every second with their partner and don't feel okay when they are not in the same room together. It's not all negative. Yes, you can immediately tell the difference in a home where a woman resides. Things are a little more neat, fridge is full and there's nice decor but in a mans mind, those things aren't important in the hierarchy of needs. We have experienced and have also seen people we know get burned from giving their lives to women. A woman can truly love you at 28 and pressure you in to a ring and children then at 38, once she's ticked off the motherhood box, feel that she's outgrown you and move on. Despite you having sacrificed your goals to become a family man. It happens. I think a lot of men just stay focused on their goals and less men are living within the female imperative which is to find a clueless decent guy, make him a father and make him look after your children and support your own personal goals as a woman. Men are just going their own way.
With the reasons said on the video & by you… I really think it ends up boiling down to what’s really important to an individual…What do you want for your life because I promise you… when you truly & really want something you find a way… all the fear in the would or financial pressure, all have solutions… you can always find a busy partner, discuss to have kids later, find someone younger or more financially stable & to your standard…. The trust issue you mentioned about not being wanted when you didn’t have things is also solution-able when you date someone that didn’t know you before… etc. there are really different individuals in life… Penson is dating from having been divorced….telling men he wishes they could be happy… it doesn’t mean he was never hurt. It means he chose to let go & still want whatever he wants with dating… The hardest thing to change about a human being is their mentality, beliefs & generally what they want.. No one can convince anyone who doesn’t want something as an adult … so really individuals need to want& be willing to work with their inner selves & partners to be in relationships.
Strangely enough, am a woman and have reasoned like you young blood. Relationships have always felt like too much work from my 30s all the way to the end of that decade. I guess what made it worse is that I never felt any pressure as I never wanted children (not sure why that part of womanhood never intestered me). Turned 40 two years ago and a whole new world opened up. I am having the time of my life and am actually in a relationship with a man who also doesn't have kids, never wanted them because of childhood traumas. Best decision of my life was not worrying about the unknown but simply living life in a way that makes sense to me!
Most definitely my brother. Once Men go redpilled, we cannot unsee it. We are living is a female-first primary social order, no one cares about men's struggles. MGTOW movements and stuff. But i'd advise men to focus on themselves, build and protect their assets, their health, mindset, hit gym, and never chase women. Vet them and only pour back to who genuinely wants to keep you. Never sign any contract that does not care about you when the union is dissolved. #TheRationalMale
I wish our generation would be a lot more braver… I used to be like that till I sat with myself and realised that I am a lover at heart so why allow someone else’s actions deter me from getting what I want. So he lied, so he cheated, sooooo just learn your lessons set your standards and move… that’s my opinion.
Its easy to set standards, its another to identify people with integrity and principles, who could easily pass you by because of your unrealistic standards. Food for thought.
We wear trauma like capes by using what we’ve been through as a model of how we behave. If you keep reaching in to history to ask the old you to show up for you, you’re denying yourself access to the new you and all the new experiences. Our forefathers stepped on landmines for us. Our parents still have calluses as proof of all the pots they scraped to feed us. They went through the most yet still choose life. Not because they were tougher than us but because they understand that a fulfilled life does not mean we’ll walk this earth without experiencing pain. This is not an attack… All I’m saying is ‘Show up for yourself with the same verve as you do when you choose to show up for the stuff that’s not conducive to your mind/body. Choose
Sad reality is that you may have more failed relationships… not because of you… but because others have not done the introspection that you have done… they may not have the EQ you have due to your lived experiences….
Yeah this is a tough one. It's the unfortunate outcomes of being the guinea pigs of societie's progressive teachings. Once you've dated multiple people and reach your 30's, the likelihood of having or even wanting a stable family scenario is slim to none. You now lack the healthy amount of naivety required to commit to long term relationships. The sad part is, you will likely still endeavor on this journey in your late 30's if not early 40's. Being single for long eventually evolves into simply being self serving and not fulfilling... mara angaz🤷🏾♂️
@@thefixpost_6441 I agree, to reclaim naivety is probably hard work. Our bodies and minds need a lot of reprogramming to get rid of the trauma or whatever led us into shielding ourselves from getting into relationships.
Had write down a list for reasons why some south african men are still single in their 30: Brahs Are Still Single in Their The Undying Love for Their PlayStation: They can name every character on "Grand Theft Auto: Johannesburg" but struggle to remember a girlfriend's birthday. Hint: It's not on the in-game calendar. The "Shisa Nyama" Conundrum: Every weekend is a braai with the boys, filled with enough boerewors to feed a rugby team. Finding a woman who appreciates burnt onions and the vuvuzela soundtrack is a challenge. The "Just One More" Mentality: Applies to everything from beers at the local shebeen to episodes of "Skeem Saam." Commitment is a scary word, especially when there's another Castle Lite waiting. The "My Mom Does It For Me" Syndrome: Laundry folding? Never heard of it. Dishes? There's always tomorrow (or next week). Finding a woman who wants to be a glorified housekeeper is a tall order. The "Open for Anything" Approach on Dating Apps: Bio reads "Looking for adventure" with a shirtless mirror selfie. Adventure might be found, but it probably won't involve settling down
Play station is fun, you should try it. You can always restart and never repeat a mistake while women want you be perfect and figure them out within a week of the relationship. You really expect me to figure you out on such a short amount of time while i can get stuck on 1 stage for months in a game😂😂 You know what am talking about, we all played candy crush 😅
As a 22 year old I can see the game of dating and trying to build the perfect family is getting harder and harder .And it’s so sad for the black child coz we don’t know how to navigate through this thing called life. ulungisa into eyodwa, enye iyaphuka. But great video by the way
@Penson my trust for women these days makes it difficult for me to see the potential good ones that are really genuiene and every year i tempt to lose interest in the dating industry . I keep losing hope in getting married because my belief for tradition values is very important but the women i have been with see it as me taking them back to past and not being modern . Which i find important because this values will humble us in marrige and bring identity in family especially for my kids i wish to have to not be lost and know where they are from . They think more about what other gender will benefit from it than what we can benefit as a couple or family together. (i hope saw this and mabe you bring guidence towards this)
This video hit home man. I’ve managed to get into a new relationship now but the fear of being betrayed again is holding me back from fully submerging myself deeply into the relationship.
This is on point. I had this very conversation with a friend of mine just yesterday because I have recently gone through the same thing. While I can't speak to gents over 30. I think the general things stay the same. You need to heal, and take back your power from these traumatic situations. I know that's easier said than done for most but that's the first thing I ran to do. Then after all of that you move forward wiser than before. That also should translate to how you deal with relationships now... It hurts to say this but the example of leaving with a dress and coming back with a jean is that step where being wiser comes in. If the story doesn't make sense then youre allowing this kinda stuff to happen, it's not that she hid it better. So moving wiser in that aspect too of being a better leader in the relationship
The truth in this video, I'm in my mid twenties and doing pretty well for my age and have the same fears.. It's tough dating again seriously when the person you had envisioned spending the next couple of years with disappoints you..
That sounds Revengeful 😢, U have To have a strong Frame of Mind, U Can't Do something Just because someone else is doing it U gotta value Yourself as a Person
i think relationship counseling or individual counseling is very necessary for these kind of chaps, me included. These traumas need to be dealt with to ensure healthier relationships and mentally sound individuals
@@bladerbsimelane2700 become comfortable with finishing a thought, pausing, before moving onto the next thought. We use conjunctions and phrases like "uhm" and "you know" in our speech because we are afraid of pausing/introducing silence in our speech. The greatest speakers pause for up to 6 seconds when they don't know what to say next... why? because they value every word that comes out their mouth. They understand the importance of getting the point accross with few wasted words. Practice this and with time you'll notice 1. that you are pausing for shorter periods of time 2. You think more clearly and are able to quickly find the words to articulate your thoughts better...give yourself 3 months.
Bhuti you're spot on as always; As a spiritually awakened individual inhlambuluko yamagceke omuzi wo-Baba Mkhulu isezandleni zami, I'm no longer going for any lady but the rarest of the rare (unicorn)…
Ladies, if you see this, a word of advice. If you cheat on a man and he says he forgives you, don't believe that shit. He is waiting for his comeback and kick you out the house or he will just cheat nje all the time, why you may ask? Because he wants to keep you in order to suffer. I saw it when my boy did it to his girl...I could not snitch tho!
Her money should not be her money.In my household both our money is the family's money.Otherwise you will never build wealth.I earn more than my husband but I am his helper.But then again im guided by my Christian faith.
There are very good men out there who are still single, some they may not believe it but they are good guys out there, same as women there are still good ,loyal women out there who are still single
Im 21 and ive already went through major heartbreaks and got relationship traumas. Im already contemplating being the single rich uncle. My virtues are unmatched so i'd rather keep them to myself.
My question is are there any single guys out there? From my experience, every guy has a person and most guys tend to think its ok to be with another woman when having a stable partner at home. So I'm 31 and single because of that. Every guy is boo'd up.
People just dont know how to have proper relationships. They do less but expect more from their partners; They have personal issues like abandonment issues(wanting to be reassured and indirectly request their partners to make them happy) And men are leary about the high expectations put upon them.
To be honest, it's not that they are good at hiding it, the reality is that the Guys those sisters cheat with also make it easier for them to cheat because most times those guys know about the husband or partner. But we lie to females telling them we are single meanwhile we are not which makes it hard for you as a guy to juggle both relationships because those females start having expectations. How do we become members
YOU ARE SPOT ON!!! I never thought about it like that! I doing a video on this! Thank you. You need to click on the page. The click on "Join" Thank you in advance!
@@pensonmlotshwa I just appreciate the fact that I am not the only one going through it, not that it pains less but it gives a little dose of comfort, if you get what I mean, I appreciate this a lot, Ta🙏
@@pensonmlotshwa while on that, yesterday got a call that a homeboy of mine commited suicide on Monday entatha, no note not explanation bro just locked himself in his room and hung the rope. We are all shocked because of the way he always had a smile on his face everytime, but hey they say we are a sad generation with happy pictures aker 🥹
So im turning 30 this year and i havent dated anyone since high school ,so a month ago my brother decided to post me on some facebook group for singles .Aibo im still shocked to find that there are so many single men in SA so im chatting to 17 single men and ive been to 4 dates so far .Kodwa im still not interested shame umjolo is not my thing bandla
You haven’t dated in 12 years?! 😮 You’re chatting to 17 gents?! 🙊 There are a lot of AMAZING single people have either are scared of being hurt, have crazy high standards… or just don’t want the stress of being in a relationship.
Life is Game Wondering why many fear it ❤ is everywhere, if it failed reset, refesh and restart simple, life does not wait for anyone nor pitty anyone.
Howzit Lads Yeah man, I grew up in Jhb. I was raised to love and protect women, they were mostly definitely up on a pedestal. It never served me at all, they guys they wont introduce to their brothers are who ladies seem to like the most. I met some cool ladies in my twenties, but for the most part that decade matched my youth, solitary, until I crossed paths with the sweetest, kindest woman i ever met. She was not sweet or kind and her innocence was even a lie. Basically she was everyones gf. Even punched me when I called her out, spilled my fanta. I was 30 when that happened and a decade has passed since. I just keep to myself. I dont talk about this topic, its a lifelong heartbreak
Bro I've been single since 2012 I just don't want the problems that women and babies come with I don't have kids don't one ... I iwl tell you now there's no way you can convince me otherwise ... Down with unstable black marriage
Bhuti Penson, I'll be brutally honest with you, a single childless man in his 30s is a flex, versus a single childless woman in her 30s is an absolute failure regardless of how many accolades she may attain throughout her life. And I'm speaking from a dating perspective, a sexual market value perspective. So, the big question is WHY? What a man in his 30s is attracted to versus what a woman in her 30s is attracted to is vastly different, and both sexes are looking for different things. I'm 35 years old, and I don't find women the same age as me sexually appealing not to mention the emotional baggage they carry too. Today in my mid-30s I have options of girls in their early 20s who are willing to date me with open arms. In my early 20s, I would've never imagined this could ever happen to me, but here I am. I would often complain to my now late uncle who was my confidant about being in a relationship with a girl my age and tell him how she was cheating on me, and my uncle basically said to me, " Eyakho i'ntombi ayikhazalwa mchana ", and I never understood what he meant up till now in my 30s. The foresight that our elders have is priceless...it's as if he knew what I was going through emotionally. In my 30s I'm not even checking for girls/women in their 30s or beyond because I'm not biologically wired to be attracted to them. This whole notion that men are intimidated by successful women in their 30s is a bunch of poppycock. The truth of the matter is, that successful men in their 30s don't find women in their 30s sexually appealing whether she's successful or not end of the story.
Firstly, don’t speak for all men, you don’t know what every man wants. Secondly, why is there an intense desire to try degrade women for aging? A woman in her 30s without a child or husband is completely normal, we are in 2024, not 1924, there is more to life than starting a family at a young age especially since having a husband does not guarantee stability in this modern age and having a child is not something you do on whim, it’s better for the woman to obtain her own stability than to rely on someone else’s. Thirdly, we need to accept that men can be bitter too, I’m over this notion that you guys are not capable of bitterness because this has bitterness written all over it, so you got your heart broken by a girl around your age, get over it. Bashing women around your age and praising younger women won’t heal the hurt you got from being done wrong. Not every woman in their 30s is traumatised and has loads of baggage and I am saying this as a woman who is not in her 30s but is around a lot of 30 yr olds, stay off the internet and interact with real women coz you just regurgitating internet stereotypes. If you like younger women, then just say that but bashing women you are not interested in is not necessary (by the way, being attracted to someone based on age mainly is funny to me coz that young woman won’t be young forever btw and being married younger doesn’t mean she won’t turn to the older women with baggage that you despise so much). Just some food for thought🤗
@@lindahadebe3008 You've said quite a mouthful, but nothing I won't say I'm incapable of not responding to adequately. Your first point you mention that I don't speak for all men, and I don't know what men want. 😏Imagine telling a heterosexual man he doesn't know what all or most men want...sounds like downright ignorance to me and clearly knows nothing about the lived experience of the opposite sex. I may not know what some men want, but I can comfortably without hesitation say I know what most (80%) heterosexual men want, because I'm a man and you clearly not miss 20-something. Your second point...there's nothing degrading about expressing the truth. It's a known scientific biological fact that after the age of 35 most women start to go through a menopausal geriatric phase where their ovaries are not as fertile as they were when they were in their early 20s, and that's why most of ya'll are running to medical centers to find doctors to help freeze your eggs because you know the clock is ticking😂...😏as if that's gonna help your cause when in actual fact its known that IVF only has a success rate of 11%. Still on the second point...I don't dispute that women shouldn't work for a living or have a career to gain financial stability, not at all, I'm just simply saying your accolades whether attained through academic means or climbing the cooperate ladder doesn't make us heterosexual men horny in the dating sexual marketplace because your accolades will do absolutely fokol for us in that regard. Your success is yours, and yours alone, but quite frankly we as men don't care. To your third point...I was just merely shedding light on a past experience I went through in my early 20s, if I were still bitter about it, trust me I wouldn't even share what I went through on a public platform such as this one. So, that's over 10 years ago, bitterness doesn't live here anymore. So, I healed a long time ago baby girl. Still on your third point...you live in your own little eco-chamber where you've only engaged women in your small circle of life who live around you only, meaning your anecdotal truth is subjective, however the overall truth is objective, and I know this because I'm at an age where I've gone through countless experiences with women of this (30s) age group. What makes it even worse is that you're a girl who's not in their 30s, so I presume you're probably in your 20s which makes you less intellectually mature to be engaged in such a matter, which would make your opinion null and void, 😏but I digress. So, no darling I don't live on the internet, and I engage with REAL women every single day. And YES you may find it funny that most men are attracted to younger women, and that's mainly because someone like you lacks the intellectual propensity to understand the opposite sex, but then again, I wouldn't expect you to. Lastly...could you please quote me verbatim where I say anything about despising women in my paragraph, because quite frankly it seems like you're misquoting me? Still open to engaging you.
@@Nqobbile9120 It is a WIN in every single aspect. Attraction has absolutely nothing to do with age. She's more youthful, feminine and coachable with no fertility issues that a man has to worry about, not to mention the emotional baggage again. So, in that regard TOTALLY better deal.
@@JayDaDonKing”coachable”😂😂 Yoh you’re hilarious bro. I thought that you were looking for a gf not a netball player to coach🤣 That time you’re supposed to be 30+
my G on curiosity sake, did you start to pierce your nose and painting your nails or it's always been there? if Yes what was the motivation, because people always feel its weird to reinvent yourself especially the older you get
Eish a lady that so all over is a no no. I have spoken to my daughter and my sisters that , it's better be a fool than a lady that has been ridden by every guy around. Ladies please respect yourselves.
I just would like to be in company of people with some depth and worldliness, but this is SA and its not known for its intellectual pool, not anymore that is. I go alone because most people are basic.
@@pensonmlotshwasure. I think we have to accept certain harsh truths about life. We are humans and humans get tempted and at times do things without realising how hectic the consequences of those actions might be. If you are in a relationship and don’t think that your partner might cheat then you are just not being realistic. Yes, some people don’t cheat physically but they flirt for days be it through dms or at work or any other place where they know their partner won’t know. So people have been hurt, return soldiers like you said, and are ok with being single. I do know some people who. Any be single at all, once they break up they want to date someone else which I think it’s a problem in itself. So this notion of men wanting virgins or women thinking that their men might not cheat at all is abit unrealistic. I’m not trying to ne pessimistic but I’m just being realistic. We are in a day and age where we have too many options. People meet on Tinder, Bumble, church, Facebook or even special occasions and they just do the deed without thinking twice but not a lot of people want to commit because they realise that commitment is becoming a rare thing. Most of us might leave this world single, without children and still be content with it because we have seen others depart from this world because of heartbreak.
@@pensonmlotshwa sure. Yerr. I actually texted a long ass message but I see it didn’t go through. I believe there are certain truths that we need to accept. Men and women are humans and humans make mistakes all the time, some of which have dire consequences. I think it is unrealistic to think that your partner isn’t tempted on a daily basis or that they might not cheat. They might not have sex but there is a high chance they will flirt on social media platforms via dms or give some random person their number and even lie about their whereabouts just to see how far this new encounter might take them. I hear stories from Uber drivers all the time about how women request immediately after reaching a destination they know their man think they are at in order to go elsewhere and do unspeakable things. This isn’t to say that I’m being pessimistic about this. I’m just saying that we need to be realistic about people in their 30s. Some are mindful of their biological clock so they are willing to settle with anyone so they can have children and other men settle with women who make more than them but know they will never marry them. These women do everything for the guy, why marry if he is living his life like he is married? Most people in their 30s are hurt and some see beyond the veil of Jay society seems to be the way to go about having long sustainable relationships. I know a married woman who beloved marriage is overrated. We also need to make it clear that men are very analytical. Some Women want marriage but are quick tempered, block anyone who pisses them off and love the alien treatment and expect their partner, who witness such behaviour, to marry them and not expect the same treatment. Women are also tired of the lies that men have been telling them. So many women have gotten “I’ll marry you” lies from so many men in the past that they don’t believe any man to be genuine when they approach them. It’s a mess and I think most of us will leave this world single and childless because truth be told, it’s more peaceful that way.
Nope it is not becasue you could be stuck in a shitty relationship and unhappy just for the sake of having someone and that is death to your happiness.I would say if you happy being single that is all you need
I’m 27 and almost got married to a man in his late 30, it would have been a disaster and the biggest mistake of my life. Leaving him was one of my biggest achievements
1st time watching I’ll definitely subscribe 🫶🏽😁 , well I must say that as a 35 year old woman who is a little bit strict and all ,I feel like one is still single as most people are taken and the ones who are not are scared of being challenged especially because of the things that one has…
Man, you are fantastic at identifying the most socially and currently relative topics to speak about.
I've learnt that we ALL go through similar challenges, yet feel like we are the ONLY ones that have experienced this.
We don't know who to talk to, and don't have any solutions.
@@pensonmlotshwaSo long as you're not blaming women, I will support you. So sick of self victimization of males
I got hurt when I was 28 and it was not just cheating and lying and some things I cannot disclose. I haven't really dated since, I have tried but for me, it's when the other person wants to lie about their intentions. So now I'm just leaving my life raising my boy and when the right person comes I feel like I will know when it is time. I'm turning 36 in 2 months, a single mom to a 4-year-old, have a property, and working on that debt-free life. But relationships scare me shame no lies.
This hit home, I'm 29 living by myself, have a stable job a car and no kids, After I got cheated on at age 20 I've never been the same and all the points you've raised are valid. My Mother asked me when she's getting her grandkids last week, I lied to her because I didn't want to break her heart. I don't think there is a solution. Just decided to go solo for my mental health.
Don't lie to her, be honest. I'm sure she can see kuyanyiwa in these streets 😄
@@allKetsoparents see things in different ways like how they grew up
Hit the nail on the head.
- As a gent you also develop trust issues. You can't take women seriously because a few years ago when you were broke they ignored you and now when your driving a nicer car and living in a better neighborhood they want to rush in to moving in and corner you in to having serious relationship. It plays with your mind and your usually hardened emotionally by ex girlfriends and being ignored by women in your 20's. It puts in a Grey area where you date but you don't care whether a woman walks in to your life or leaves. Women can pick up on this and think that you don't care but it's not that you don't care, it's that you know how fickle women are and whether they come or go, your life is already in check financially, there's nothing major that she's contributing that you can't hire someone to assist with.
- Having to masturbate in your 20s also conditioned you to living life without women. Yes, you do need touch and affection but you also know how to live life without it.
- When a guy is doing well and his career is on the up, he is not in a rush outside of social pressure to get married. He know that he can always get a woman if he's in relatively good shape, looks good and has a good income. The main pressure is when he internally want to become a father. Not so much to be a boyfriend or husband.
- Men also hesitate to date in their 30s because often times they have black tax and a lot of women also come with black tax. The thing about being a man, you know that you will have to assist her family together with your own family and get squeezed further.
- Single people in their 30s also have created systems that ensure the smooth running of their lives. If they work well, they afford house cleaners and have meal plans and routines which relationships throw off. For example if you normally do sport like boxing after work until 8 at night and have your meals pre prepared, that all goes out the window. Now a guy has to be home earlier to watch TV and can't get better at a sport or can't work on a side hustle because his girl will be upset. Women will also want you to go to bed when they go to bed etc. The excessive attachment of women becomes a weight and a barrier to freedom. Even married friends end up using their single friends as excuses to spend longer time outside the house, while women want to spend every second with their partner and don't feel okay when they are not in the same room together.
It's not all negative. Yes, you can immediately tell the difference in a home where a woman resides. Things are a little more neat, fridge is full and there's nice decor but in a mans mind, those things aren't important in the hierarchy of needs. We have experienced and have also seen people we know get burned from giving their lives to women. A woman can truly love you at 28 and pressure you in to a ring and children then at 38, once she's ticked off the motherhood box, feel that she's outgrown you and move on. Despite you having sacrificed your goals to become a family man. It happens. I think a lot of men just stay focused on their goals and less men are living within the female imperative which is to find a clueless decent guy, make him a father and make him look after your children and support your own personal goals as a woman. Men are just going their own way.
With the reasons said on the video & by you… I really think it ends up boiling down to what’s really important to an individual…What do you want for your life because I promise you… when you truly & really want something you find a way… all the fear in the would or financial pressure, all have solutions… you can always find a busy partner, discuss to have kids later, find someone younger or more financially stable & to your standard…. The trust issue you mentioned about not being wanted when you didn’t have things is also solution-able when you date someone that didn’t know you before… etc. there are really different individuals in life… Penson is dating from having been divorced….telling men he wishes they could be happy… it doesn’t mean he was never hurt. It means he chose to let go & still want whatever he wants with dating… The hardest thing to change about a human being is their mentality, beliefs & generally what they want.. No one can convince anyone who doesn’t want something as an adult … so really individuals need to want& be willing to work with their inner selves & partners to be in relationships.
Strangely enough, am a woman and have reasoned like you young blood. Relationships have always felt like too much work from my 30s all the way to the end of that decade. I guess what made it worse is that I never felt any pressure as I never wanted children (not sure why that part of womanhood never intestered me). Turned 40 two years ago and a whole new world opened up. I am having the time of my life and am actually in a relationship with a man who also doesn't have kids, never wanted them because of childhood traumas. Best decision of my life was not worrying about the unknown but simply living life in a way that makes sense to me!
Most definitely my brother. Once Men go redpilled, we cannot unsee it. We are living is a female-first primary social order, no one cares about men's struggles. MGTOW movements and stuff. But i'd advise men to focus on themselves, build and protect their assets, their health, mindset, hit gym, and never chase women. Vet them and only pour back to who genuinely wants to keep you. Never sign any contract that does not care about you when the union is dissolved. #TheRationalMale
Yoh this is so profound and deep 😢.
I wish our generation would be a lot more braver… I used to be like that till I sat with myself and realised that I am a lover at heart so why allow someone else’s actions deter me from getting what I want. So he lied, so he cheated, sooooo just learn your lessons set your standards and move… that’s my opinion.
Wow that’s really deep!
You’re right we need to get braver… we’re sooo scared of getting hurt again… 💔
Wow such a wise comment .
Its easy to set standards, its another to identify people with integrity and principles, who could easily pass you by because of your unrealistic standards. Food for thought.
@@nontsikelelonoruwanahealth8035 Sure
Where are you based?
The unc pen is the best RUclipsr without even trying -this nigga is hella genuine
You are the kindest ever!
You’re the best Bonga!!!
We wear trauma like capes by using what we’ve been through as a model of how we behave.
If you keep reaching in to history to ask the old you to show up for you, you’re denying yourself access to the new you and all the new experiences.
Our forefathers stepped on landmines for us.
Our parents still have calluses as proof of all the pots they scraped to feed us.
They went through the most yet still choose life.
Not because they were tougher than us but because they understand that a fulfilled life does not mean we’ll walk this earth without experiencing pain.
This is not an attack… All I’m saying is ‘Show up for yourself with the same verve as you do when you choose to show up for the stuff that’s not conducive to your mind/body.
Choose
A word! 🙌🏾
Having a failed engagement at 24 opened my eyes
Sad reality is that you may have more failed relationships… not because of you… but because others have not done the introspection that you have done… they may not have the EQ you have due to your lived experiences….
Yeah this is a tough one. It's the unfortunate outcomes of being the guinea pigs of societie's progressive teachings.
Once you've dated multiple people and reach your 30's, the likelihood of having or even wanting a stable family scenario is slim to none.
You now lack the healthy amount of naivety required to commit to long term relationships. The sad part is, you will likely still endeavor on this journey in your late 30's if not early 40's. Being single for long eventually evolves into simply being self serving and not fulfilling... mara angaz🤷🏾♂️
"...lack the healthy amount of naivety required to commit to long term relationships."
This is such a deep line! WOW!
Your comment in an entire video!
@pensonmlotshwa, Dankie brother! We need to keep having these conversations. Hopefully we'll stumble upon solutions.
You now lack the healthy amount of naivety required to commit to long term relationships. 🔥🔥🔥
To reclaim naivety is challenging, leaving heroism as the only alternative. The person in front of this alternative can't freely give of themselves.
@@thefixpost_6441 I agree, to reclaim naivety is probably hard work. Our bodies and minds need a lot of reprogramming to get rid of the trauma or whatever led us into shielding ourselves from getting into relationships.
"I was chatting to the madam" semnandi ❤❤
Oh wow 😂😂😂
Siyazama ❤️
You're good. Identifying issues no one wants to talk about.
Had write down a list for reasons why some south african men are still single in their 30: Brahs Are Still Single in Their
The Undying Love for Their PlayStation: They can name every character on "Grand Theft Auto: Johannesburg" but struggle to remember a girlfriend's birthday. Hint: It's not on the in-game calendar.
The "Shisa Nyama" Conundrum: Every weekend is a braai with the boys, filled with enough boerewors to feed a rugby team. Finding a woman who appreciates burnt onions and the vuvuzela soundtrack is a challenge.
The "Just One More" Mentality: Applies to everything from beers at the local shebeen to episodes of "Skeem Saam." Commitment is a scary word, especially when there's another Castle Lite waiting.
The "My Mom Does It For Me" Syndrome: Laundry folding? Never heard of it. Dishes? There's always tomorrow (or next week). Finding a woman who wants to be a glorified housekeeper is a tall order.
The "Open for Anything" Approach on Dating Apps: Bio reads "Looking for adventure" with a shirtless mirror selfie. Adventure might be found, but it probably won't involve settling down
Play station is fun, you should try it. You can always restart and never repeat a mistake while women want you be perfect and figure them out within a week of the relationship.
You really expect me to figure you out on such a short amount of time while i can get stuck on 1 stage for months in a game😂😂
You know what am talking about, we all played candy crush 😅
As a 22 year old I can see the game of dating and trying to build the perfect family is getting harder and harder .And it’s so sad for the black child coz we don’t know how to navigate through this thing called life. ulungisa into eyodwa, enye iyaphuka.
But great video by the way
😢😢😢 you said a mouth full
Such a truthful and not so talked about topic.... Thank you for this video... You've spoken nothing but the truth.
@Penson my trust for women these days makes it difficult for me to see the potential good ones that are really genuiene and every year i tempt to lose interest in the dating industry . I keep losing hope in getting married because my belief for tradition values is very important but the women i have been with see it as me taking them back to past and not being modern . Which i find important because this values will humble us in marrige and bring identity in family especially for my kids i wish to have to not be lost and know where they are from . They think more about what other gender will benefit from it than what we can benefit as a couple or family together. (i hope saw this and mabe you bring guidence towards this)
I’m one of the people you’re talking about. Mjolo is an extreme sport. Hhayi cha ngiyabonga nje bandla!!!😮
This video hit home man.
I’ve managed to get into a new relationship now but the fear of being betrayed again is holding me back from fully submerging myself deeply into the relationship.
They WILL cheat on you
This is on point. I had this very conversation with a friend of mine just yesterday because I have recently gone through the same thing. While I can't speak to gents over 30. I think the general things stay the same. You need to heal, and take back your power from these traumatic situations. I know that's easier said than done for most but that's the first thing I ran to do. Then after all of that you move forward wiser than before. That also should translate to how you deal with relationships now... It hurts to say this but the example of leaving with a dress and coming back with a jean is that step where being wiser comes in. If the story doesn't make sense then youre allowing this kinda stuff to happen, it's not that she hid it better. So moving wiser in that aspect too of being a better leader in the relationship
The truth in this video, I'm in my mid twenties and doing pretty well for my age and have the same fears.. It's tough dating again seriously when the person you had envisioned spending the next couple of years with disappoints you..
Only the next couple years? 😂
But seriously, this is sooooo true. In our thirties we are declining even MEETING these guys. We're fine.
Then be ready to die alone!
@@sbonzama7013 haai kubi! 😂😂😂
Nobody is is interested in relationships anymore
So fine hle
Man you need to set a studio, invite both parties for kinda convos
Men only find cheating offensive now that women are doing it openly and without shame, men used to brag about being players
“Players” bragging about being immoral 💔
Do some women want to lower themselves to that level too?
That sounds Revengeful 😢, U have To have a strong Frame of Mind, U Can't Do something Just because someone else is doing it
U gotta value Yourself as a Person
lol a video that’s finally talking about me. 30’s and not dating. 😅
i think relationship counseling or individual counseling is very necessary for these kind of chaps, me included. These traumas need to be dealt with to ensure healthier relationships and mentally sound individuals
If I had R1 for everytime Penson says "you know" 😂
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
It’s a very bad habit!
My brother calls me out on it all the time!
@@pensonmlotshwa how can you get rid of that habit , I also have the tendency of using specific words that make me seem unprofesional in formal spaces
@@bladerbsimelane2700 I need to be conscious of the times I say it, and try limit that.
@@bladerbsimelane2700 become comfortable with finishing a thought, pausing, before moving onto the next thought. We use conjunctions and phrases like "uhm" and "you know" in our speech because we are afraid of pausing/introducing silence in our speech. The greatest speakers pause for up to 6 seconds when they don't know what to say next... why? because they value every word that comes out their mouth. They understand the importance of getting the point accross with few wasted words. Practice this and with time you'll notice 1. that you are pausing for shorter periods of time 2. You think more clearly and are able to quickly find the words to articulate your thoughts better...give yourself 3 months.
Bhuti you're spot on as always;
As a spiritually awakened individual inhlambuluko yamagceke omuzi wo-Baba Mkhulu isezandleni zami, I'm no longer going for any lady but the rarest of the rare (unicorn)…
Ladies, if you see this, a word of advice. If you cheat on a man and he says he forgives you, don't believe that shit. He is waiting for his comeback and kick you out the house or he will just cheat nje all the time, why you may ask? Because he wants to keep you in order to suffer.
I saw it when my boy did it to his girl...I could not snitch tho!
I've witnessed ladies doing the same thing, they dont leave... and I'm not gonna snitch too coz I know how many times they cried 😂
If you do even the slightest thing to hurt a man he will get you back 10 times over. You've basically summoned a demon
Her money should not be her money.In my household both our money is the family's money.Otherwise you will never build wealth.I earn more than my husband but I am his helper.But then again im guided by my Christian faith.
Your kind are rare...good guys are hunting unicorns nowadays
Even though you earn more he must be the provider! That’s his role as a partner!
I'm enjoying your topics. May God give you wisdom and strength to continue
These are great conversations, Penson. I do have my own opinions on how to manouvre dynamics but. This was solid!
There are very good men out there who are still single, some they may not believe it but they are good guys out there, same as women there are still good ,loyal women out there who are still single
I like the words he uses for "blank spaces"😂
"ya'know" he says it EXACTLY like Will Smith😂
I’m 29 and I don’t even want to imagine when we get to 45yrs. 😂
I'm 32 and I've imagined it😂
Its beautiful.. the freedom 🎉
Im 21 and ive already went through major heartbreaks and got relationship traumas. Im already contemplating being the single rich uncle. My virtues are unmatched so i'd rather keep them to myself.
My question is are there any single guys out there? From my experience, every guy has a person and most guys tend to think its ok to be with another woman when having a stable partner at home. So I'm 31 and single because of that. Every guy is boo'd up.
Nope! There are good guys what are single in their 30s! They are not at the club... they are playing indoor soccer!
You couldn't be more wrong. Try to leave no stone unturned when you're looking. Generalizing is not the way.
It makes me so sad...I'm turning 39,been single for 3 years,I've been on dating apps,a few dates mara like azikhiphi guningi
People just dont know how to have proper relationships. They do less but expect more from their partners; They have personal issues like abandonment issues(wanting to be reassured and indirectly request their partners to make them happy) And men are leary about the high expectations put upon them.
You spoke man!!
Insightful topic
Thank you!
You so consistent. 👏🏽👏🏽
Jesus Penson , what are you trying to start a civil war ? the comments are flames !!! But the topic relevant and appreciated !!!!!!
Aybo lol not Nomfundo catching strays
Bonus Reason: They haven't figured out the difference between "braai" and "bae" yet. It's a work in progress, braai! 😂😂
😂😂😂
To be honest, it's not that they are good at hiding it, the reality is that the Guys those sisters cheat with also make it easier for them to cheat because most times those guys know about the husband or partner. But we lie to females telling them we are single meanwhile we are not which makes it hard for you as a guy to juggle both relationships because those females start having expectations. How do we become members
YOU ARE SPOT ON!!!
I never thought about it like that!
I doing a video on this!
Thank you.
You need to click on the page.
The click on "Join"
Thank you in advance!
@@pensonmlotshwa Cool will Join bro! nice chatting
This is an honest truth, but females will get you caught even if they know the other partner
I relate to a lot of this bro🤞🤕
I’m happy and sad at the same time 🙏🏽❤️🩹
@@pensonmlotshwa I just appreciate the fact that I am not the only one going through it, not that it pains less but it gives a little dose of comfort, if you get what I mean, I appreciate this a lot, Ta🙏
@@sir-pitsimanaka5829 one thing that I’ve learnt/realised… we’re ALL going through shit… but we post on Instagram as if we’re not!
@@pensonmlotshwa while on that, yesterday got a call that a homeboy of mine commited suicide on Monday entatha, no note not explanation bro just locked himself in his room and hung the rope.
We are all shocked because of the way he always had a smile on his face everytime, but hey they say we are a sad generation with happy pictures aker 🥹
So im turning 30 this year and i havent dated anyone since high school ,so a month ago my brother decided to post me on some facebook group for singles .Aibo im still shocked to find that there are so many single men in SA so im chatting to 17 single men and ive been to 4 dates so far .Kodwa im still not interested shame umjolo is not my thing bandla
You haven’t dated in 12 years?! 😮
You’re chatting to 17 gents?! 🙊
There are a lot of AMAZING single people have either are scared of being hurt, have crazy high standards… or just don’t want the stress of being in a relationship.
U sound like u living my exact life
You don’t know anything about the modern man if you believe all those guys are indeed single
32 and been single forever😂 never been a hoe, but love the convo so relatable
Umjolo wafika nabelungu befuna ukusiqhatha befuna silwe sodwa😂
Life is Game Wondering why many fear it ❤ is everywhere, if it failed reset, refesh and restart simple, life does not wait for anyone nor pitty anyone.
I have subscribed to your channel because I believe you can help South Africa I am 33 and single 😂
Thank you so much!
I’ll continue to work on myself, and share my journey. If it helps. I’m happy!
Your channel is growing big dawg
Howzit Lads
Yeah man, I grew up in Jhb. I was raised to love and protect women, they were mostly definitely up on a pedestal.
It never served me at all, they guys they wont introduce to their brothers are who ladies seem to like the most.
I met some cool ladies in my twenties, but for the most part that decade matched my youth, solitary, until I crossed paths with the sweetest, kindest woman i ever met.
She was not sweet or kind and her innocence was even a lie. Basically she was everyones gf. Even punched me when I called her out, spilled my fanta. I was 30 when that happened and a decade has passed since. I just keep to myself.
I dont talk about this topic, its a lifelong heartbreak
Not the Fanta, bro. police staishhh straight.
No Diddy 😂
My bad!!!
Can Palesa please apologise for whatever she did to Penson? 😂😂
100% on point.
Good content thank u how du we access the members group
Thank you so much Sihle 🙏🏽
The membership is quite simple, you go to the Channel Page, and click on “Join”.
Thank you in advance!
Bro I've been single since 2012 I just don't want the problems that women and babies come with I don't have kids don't one ... I iwl tell you now there's no way you can convince me otherwise ... Down with unstable black marriage
Kunzima ngina 31 this year ngisebenzela e-China ekhaya bafuna ngibe nengane manje baze bathi thola i-China ngeke siku judge 😂
lol
You are giving parents stress
What about you, what do u want, after all it's your life
I'm Palesa and went to UJ 😪
Hi
@@FictionHubZA Hey
@@simply_pally How are you?
Bhuti Penson, I'll be brutally honest with you, a single childless man in his 30s is a flex, versus a single childless woman in her 30s is an absolute failure regardless of how many accolades she may attain throughout her life. And I'm speaking from a dating perspective, a sexual market value perspective. So, the big question is WHY? What a man in his 30s is attracted to versus what a woman in her 30s is attracted to is vastly different, and both sexes are looking for different things. I'm 35 years old, and I don't find women the same age as me sexually appealing not to mention the emotional baggage they carry too. Today in my mid-30s I have options of girls in their early 20s who are willing to date me with open arms. In my early 20s, I would've never imagined this could ever happen to me, but here I am. I would often complain to my now late uncle who was my confidant about being in a relationship with a girl my age and tell him how she was cheating on me, and my uncle basically said to me, " Eyakho i'ntombi ayikhazalwa mchana ", and I never understood what he meant up till now in my 30s. The foresight that our elders have is priceless...it's as if he knew what I was going through emotionally. In my 30s I'm not even checking for girls/women in their 30s or beyond because I'm not biologically wired to be attracted to them. This whole notion that men are intimidated by successful women in their 30s is a bunch of poppycock. The truth of the matter is, that successful men in their 30s don't find women in their 30s sexually appealing whether she's successful or not end of the story.
Firstly, don’t speak for all men, you don’t know what every man wants.
Secondly, why is there an intense desire to try degrade women for aging? A woman in her 30s without a child or husband is completely normal, we are in 2024, not 1924, there is more to life than starting a family at a young age especially since having a husband does not guarantee stability in this modern age and having a child is not something you do on whim, it’s better for the woman to obtain her own stability than to rely on someone else’s.
Thirdly, we need to accept that men can be bitter too, I’m over this notion that you guys are not capable of bitterness because this has bitterness written all over it, so you got your heart broken by a girl around your age, get over it. Bashing women around your age and praising younger women won’t heal the hurt you got from being done wrong.
Not every woman in their 30s is traumatised and has loads of baggage and I am saying this as a woman who is not in her 30s but is around a lot of 30 yr olds, stay off the internet and interact with real women coz you just regurgitating internet stereotypes.
If you like younger women, then just say that but bashing women you are not interested in is not necessary (by the way, being attracted to someone based on age mainly is funny to me coz that young woman won’t be young forever btw and being married younger doesn’t mean she won’t turn to the older women with baggage that you despise so much).
Just some food for thought🤗
Lmaoo😂 continue dating 20 year Olds and don't come here crying...men think dating a 20 year old versus his age mate is a win
@@lindahadebe3008 You've said quite a mouthful, but nothing I won't say I'm incapable of not responding to adequately. Your first point you mention that I don't speak for all men, and I don't know what men want. 😏Imagine telling a heterosexual man he doesn't know what all or most men want...sounds like downright ignorance to me and clearly knows nothing about the lived experience of the opposite sex. I may not know what some men want, but I can comfortably without hesitation say I know what most (80%) heterosexual men want, because I'm a man and you clearly not miss 20-something. Your second point...there's nothing degrading about expressing the truth. It's a known scientific biological fact that after the age of 35 most women start to go through a menopausal geriatric phase where their ovaries are not as fertile as they were when they were in their early 20s, and that's why most of ya'll are running to medical centers to find doctors to help freeze your eggs because you know the clock is ticking😂...😏as if that's gonna help your cause when in actual fact its known that IVF only has a success rate of 11%. Still on the second point...I don't dispute that women shouldn't work for a living or have a career to gain financial stability, not at all, I'm just simply saying your accolades whether attained through academic means or climbing the cooperate ladder doesn't make us heterosexual men horny in the dating sexual marketplace because your accolades will do absolutely fokol for us in that regard. Your success is yours, and yours alone, but quite frankly we as men don't care. To your third point...I was just merely shedding light on a past experience I went through in my early 20s, if I were still bitter about it, trust me I wouldn't even share what I went through on a public platform such as this one. So, that's over 10 years ago, bitterness doesn't live here anymore. So, I healed a long time ago baby girl. Still on your third point...you live in your own little eco-chamber where you've only engaged women in your small circle of life who live around you only, meaning your anecdotal truth is subjective, however the overall truth is objective, and I know this because I'm at an age where I've gone through countless experiences with women of this (30s) age group. What makes it even worse is that you're a girl who's not in their 30s, so I presume you're probably in your 20s which makes you less intellectually mature to be engaged in such a matter, which would make your opinion null and void, 😏but I digress. So, no darling I don't live on the internet, and I engage with REAL women every single day. And YES you may find it funny that most men are attracted to younger women, and that's mainly because someone like you lacks the intellectual propensity to understand the opposite sex, but then again, I wouldn't expect you to. Lastly...could you please quote me verbatim where I say anything about despising women in my paragraph, because quite frankly it seems like you're misquoting me? Still open to engaging you.
@@Nqobbile9120 It is a WIN in every single aspect. Attraction has absolutely nothing to do with age. She's more youthful, feminine and coachable with no fertility issues that a man has to worry about, not to mention the emotional baggage again. So, in that regard TOTALLY better deal.
@@JayDaDonKing”coachable”😂😂
Yoh you’re hilarious bro. I thought that you were looking for a gf not a netball player to coach🤣 That time you’re supposed to be 30+
my G on curiosity sake, did you start to pierce your nose and painting your nails or it's always been there? if Yes what was the motivation, because people always feel its weird to reinvent yourself especially the older you get
Eish a lady that so all over is a no no. I have spoken to my daughter and my sisters that , it's better be a fool than a lady that has been ridden by every guy around.
Ladies please respect yourselves.
powerful...
DANKO!!!
I just would like to be in company of people with some depth and worldliness, but this is SA and its not known for its intellectual pool, not anymore that is. I go alone because most people are basic.
Guys we are clumsy at cheating 😂
Women plan when they going to cheat, they plan the plan over and over until, they succeed.
That’s how they succeeded with paternity fraud for decades 😅
Word is bond 🥋🪑🔦
Bond is life
A question and a half. Let me listen
Please let me know what you think 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@pensonmlotshwasure. I think we have to accept certain harsh truths about life. We are humans and humans get tempted and at times do things without realising how hectic the consequences of those actions might be. If you are in a relationship and don’t think that your partner might cheat then you are just not being realistic. Yes, some people don’t cheat physically but they flirt for days be it through dms or at work or any other place where they know their partner won’t know. So people have been hurt, return soldiers like you said, and are ok with being single. I do know some people who. Any be single at all, once they break up they want to date someone else which I think it’s a problem in itself. So this notion of men wanting virgins or women thinking that their men might not cheat at all is abit unrealistic. I’m not trying to ne pessimistic but I’m just being realistic. We are in a day and age where we have too many options. People meet on Tinder, Bumble, church, Facebook or even special occasions and they just do the deed without thinking twice but not a lot of people want to commit because they realise that commitment is becoming a rare thing. Most of us might leave this world single, without children and still be content with it because we have seen others depart from this world because of heartbreak.
@@pensonmlotshwa sure. Yerr. I actually texted a long ass message but I see it didn’t go through.
I believe there are certain truths that we need to accept. Men and women are humans and humans make mistakes all the time, some of which have dire consequences. I think it is unrealistic to think that your partner isn’t tempted on a daily basis or that they might not cheat. They might not have sex but there is a high chance they will flirt on social media platforms via dms or give some random person their number and even lie about their whereabouts just to see how far this new encounter might take them.
I hear stories from Uber drivers all the time about how women request immediately after reaching a destination they know their man think they are at in order to go elsewhere and do unspeakable things. This isn’t to say that I’m being pessimistic about this. I’m just saying that we need to be realistic about people in their 30s. Some are mindful of their biological clock so they are willing to settle with anyone so they can have children and other men settle with women who make more than them but know they will never marry them. These women do everything for the guy, why marry if he is living his life like he is married?
Most people in their 30s are hurt and some see beyond the veil of Jay society seems to be the way to go about having long sustainable relationships. I know a married woman who beloved marriage is overrated. We also need to make it clear that men are very analytical. Some Women want marriage but are quick tempered, block anyone who pisses them off and love the alien treatment and expect their partner, who witness such behaviour, to marry them and not expect the same treatment. Women are also tired of the lies that men have been telling them. So many women have gotten “I’ll marry you” lies from so many men in the past that they don’t believe any man to be genuine when they approach them. It’s a mess and I think most of us will leave this world single and childless because truth be told, it’s more peaceful that way.
What do you mean?by single...😅, self controlling, driving your own life...?
I no longer date not because of cheating but because people love to use love potions 😒
Is being single at 30 the end of the world?
Yes 😁
Nope it is not becasue you could be stuck in a shitty relationship and unhappy just for the sake of having someone and that is death to your happiness.I would say if you happy being single that is all you need
It’s not but personally I don’t want it
❤❤❤
Nisazozwa😂
Joined 🥳
Awufuni ukuba yiMatch-maker??? 😂😂😂😂😂
Yho! Then their demons act up and they cheat on you… then you blame me!!!
No thanks!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
There are no single man out there, sojola nobani?
how far with the members group
Not far at all. Please help.
I don't know how to get people's numbers.
Please DM me on IG 🙏
🤞🏽🤞🏽
I’m 27 and almost got married to a man in his late 30, it would have been a disaster and the biggest mistake of my life. Leaving him was one of my biggest achievements
Dude, u speak sense but really......So you think woman dont get the same or even worse.
1st time watching I’ll definitely subscribe 🫶🏽😁 , well I must say that as a 35 year old woman who is a little bit strict and all ,I feel like one is still single as most people are taken and the ones who are not are scared of being challenged especially because of the things that one has…
Penson we need a whatsapp group or something, i have a question I'd like to ask and thought a whatsapp group would help
Hi Nqobile,
I fully agree.
I’m starting the WhatsApp group asap.
However it’ll only be for members 🥹