"My Catholic Teacher Shagged A Chair" | People's Poll | The Russell Howard Hour

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  • Опубликовано: 6 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 117

  • @opalheart5046
    @opalheart5046 3 года назад +229

    We had a maths test once and our substitute teacher didn't understand what test conditions were. We just sat there all talking and discussing answers. It was so fun.

  • @wensdyy6466
    @wensdyy6466 3 года назад +102

    I remembered how our math teacher came to class and looked absolutely awful, she sat down and put her forehead on the table ... One of the girls asked what was going on and if something terrible had happened. Our teacher looked her dead in the eye and said, "I just had a lesson with the 7th grader. I gave them three points, three angels and the length of three lines and do you know what Denisa did? She made a rectangle. "

    • @Daniel-wd4zx
      @Daniel-wd4zx 3 года назад +11

      This sounds like my maths class, and we're top set. That's slightly scary

    • @duckseverywhere8119
      @duckseverywhere8119 3 года назад +2

      For a comment about another person's maths ability, you need to learn how to spell 'angle'.

    • @wensdyy6466
      @wensdyy6466 3 года назад +8

      English is not my first language and I have dyslexia...and I really dont care about spellng in youtube comments ;)

  • @FabulousKilljoy917
    @FabulousKilljoy917 3 года назад +54

    “He was crushing ‘em down and selling ‘em to year 7s as coke” LEGEND🤣🤣🤣

    • @wutang36chambers76
      @wutang36chambers76 3 года назад

      I used to sell oregano to year 7’s🤣🤣🤣

    • @Wooldrog
      @Wooldrog 3 года назад

      @@wutang36chambers76 I once sold sherbert to some year 8s when I was in year 9 and told them it was coke it was great

  • @markspencer4092
    @markspencer4092 3 года назад +60

    At least he didn't turn the chair upside down and demonstrate another way.

    • @notai6348
      @notai6348 3 года назад +4

      Be worse if he didn’t turn it upside down and tried to demonstrate “the other way”

  • @kryten1016
    @kryten1016 3 года назад +81

    Puts on welsh accent: still weird
    Puts on french accent: suddenly sexy

  • @snowstrobe
    @snowstrobe 3 года назад +89

    In my first year as a teacher, I wanted to do a hands-on chemistry lesson so we made some bubbly ginger drink. After we drank it the kids went nuts... then I realised it was slightly alcoholic!

    • @vedanthganesh4323
      @vedanthganesh4323 3 года назад +4

      Ayo wtf

    • @vattmann1387
      @vattmann1387 3 года назад +3

      Nice, reminds me of when I did a end of term fun lesson on cooking some stuff making fancy tuna sandwiches. Some of the kids decided to put extra hot sauce in their filling so they could make me suffer. It didn't work as I'm 1/2 Malaysian and grew up with hot stuff from my mum's cooking. It was fun seeing them squirm when sampling their product :)

    • @nikiTricoteuse
      @nikiTricoteuse 3 года назад +2

      I didn't learn ginger beer was alcoholic til i was in my 40s lol.
      Discovered Elderflower champagne wasn't just a name when, as l did every year, l made some and gave it as gifts to friends.
      Got a phonecall from a friend the day after Christmas. Opening words? Congratulations, you got my mother pissed.
      Her mother didn't drink alcohol but had loved the elderflower champagne and drunk most of it.
      Made me wonder about ginger beer so l looked it up. Horrified to think how many kids l had given it to.

    • @snowstrobe
      @snowstrobe 3 года назад +1

      @@nikiTricoteuse Hehe, me too. But then the small amount won't hurt. My parents used to give me a little wine in water when I was a kid, then dad started taking me to the pub for a shandy... felt right proper grown up.

    • @nikiTricoteuse
      @nikiTricoteuse 3 года назад

      @@snowstrobe That brings back memories! When l was a child my parents would drive my brother and l about 5 hours to visit grandparents. Halfway there we used to stop at a pub for lunch. My mum used to get a shandy and buy me a sarsparilla and when we got back to the table she would swap. Only happened about twice a year but it was super exciting. My father was a publican so l also have memories of hiding from him and the whiskey toddies he used to try and make us drink if we were sick too though. The 60s were a different planet. Lol.

  • @arhamhashmi2772
    @arhamhashmi2772 3 года назад +17

    I can’t believe Russell only has a million and so subscribers, this man is so talented and good at what he does, he should definitely have more subs

    • @mk2nathan
      @mk2nathan 3 года назад

      He’s not a youtuber 😂😂 he probably doesn’t even have access to this account, it’s his admin team really.

    • @arhamhashmi2772
      @arhamhashmi2772 3 года назад

      @@mk2nathan yeah but his content deserves more than just a million subs, he should at least have 5 mill

  • @pixlplague
    @pixlplague 3 года назад +59

    Holy shit that Welsh girl was funny! Although she said horse’s heart, not lung ;P

    • @tobywheeldon1932
      @tobywheeldon1932 3 года назад +11

      No Russel was the one to call it a heart, she said lung at 8:29

    • @zwergstein2152
      @zwergstein2152 3 года назад +4

      @@tobywheeldon1932 No but in french she said horses heart, probably russel confused her

  • @Tishsaw
    @Tishsaw 3 года назад +21

    As soon as I saw the notification I was so confused and new I had to find out what was going on

  • @mydogdeli
    @mydogdeli 3 года назад +3

    Emily's French was on point. Chapeau, Emily.

  • @jacobbabson6786
    @jacobbabson6786 3 года назад +4

    This is a story my chemistry teacher told my class. In one of his first classes, they were putting small pieces of sodium into water and watching the reaction. Then, one of his students asked what would happen if they weighed it down. He was curious as well so my teacher did it with a bigger chunk of sodium and weighed it down in the water. He turned around to talk to the students when all of the sudden a huge explosion of fire and glass shook the entire school. His back was burned and glass shards were in his back, and the students had taken a video running over to him saying "OMG YOU LOOKED LIKE JESUS" because they had an image of him before his reaction with fire towering behind him.

  • @TMP2064
    @TMP2064 3 года назад +20

    I did the same thing took in some condoms to show the other kids.
    Only they all ran around the playground trying to blow them up or use em as water bombs. I got given a letter by the headteacher for my mum, that never made it home.

  • @MillieIslaPrice
    @MillieIslaPrice 3 года назад +25

    Thats hilarious. 1st story Reminds me of my maths teacher who taught boxing moves to a class mate at the start of lesson (so they did it vs.each other) then taught us all self defence. 😂

  • @KimM13744
    @KimM13744 3 года назад +30

    The whole video is great but if you're here just for the Catholic teacher story, it's at 5:23.

    • @Sean-pd9fh
      @Sean-pd9fh 3 года назад +5

      Not all heroes wear capes.

    • @masansr
      @masansr 3 года назад +4

      But it's probably the least interesting story of the bunch

  • @reinedesboisiersf1843
    @reinedesboisiersf1843 3 года назад +5

    I went to school in france too, it must be part of the curriculum as our teacher brought in a lamb lung and made us blow into them with a straw 🤢

  • @chiranthiem.k.h.1597
    @chiranthiem.k.h.1597 3 года назад +15

    Ach! The English give the Welsh too much of a hard time! xD I'm sure it's not all drunk Welshmen trying to do weird things to horses xD

  • @Jarvo-ed6pj
    @Jarvo-ed6pj 3 года назад +10

    Had a chemistry sub teach us how to dissolve a corpse in acid and also told us you need to get rid of the kidney stones or the police will find out how you did it

  • @nikiTricoteuse
    @nikiTricoteuse 3 года назад +6

    When my daughter was about 7 one of the boys in her class brought a condom to show and tell. The school sent a letter home to all the parents of that class to inform them that their children had been exposed to a condom and offering to help with advice if any of the parents had difficulty explaining to their child what they were for.
    None of us could look his mother in the eye for months. Not because we were bothered by the condom but, because we didn't trust ourselves to not fall over laughing.
    Pretty sure most of us were just glad it hadn't been one of our kids.

  • @laurajessie93
    @laurajessie93 3 года назад +3

    We had a science teacher in year 9, she was quite heavily pregnant and used to wear her husbands trousers rolled up to school which she used to constantly pull up. One day she was stood at the front and pointed to something at the top of the board, as she did that her top rode up and she flashed the top of her pubes to the class, needless to say the rest of the lesson didn't go to plan because as a group of 14 year olds having just seen that we just took the piss

  • @MrMrToYouThough
    @MrMrToYouThough 3 года назад +3

    Last story saved this entire video

  • @joshuaboussard7641
    @joshuaboussard7641 3 года назад +6

    Hi I love your videos keep up the amazing work 👍

  • @AliKazi
    @AliKazi 3 года назад +1

    That was flipping hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

  • @breadfan_85
    @breadfan_85 2 года назад

    Sometimes I forget that in Britain, "fanny" means the front parts, so stories like the one about Russell's mom talking about flavored condoms are especially funny to my American ears.

  • @saherm9729
    @saherm9729 3 года назад +5

    I love Russel

  • @stella_9933
    @stella_9933 3 года назад +11

    While I agree education is important, missing school this year has probably been the best thing to happen to a lot of people I know, sad what's happening in schools in the UK today

  • @paulquaife7974
    @paulquaife7974 3 года назад

    On the plus side, with schools closed there have been far less school shootings reported this year

  • @mrtom2854
    @mrtom2854 3 года назад +6

    My old phone could connect to Smart Boards & TVs remotely without a password or anything.
    I changed my phone name to the head of 6th Form's name (he was a bully and I hated him so I decided to get revenge that way), and started messing around.
    I was playing random cat videos in class, and once I played a Game of Thrones scene in the middle of an English lesson.
    The 6th Form centre also had TVs on the walls that were never used, and I connected to those as well and played a lot of Top Gear.
    All the students knew it was me, but the staff never found out.
    There was also a girl who was constantly in trouble. She stole booze that was meant for a parents evening, she kept setting off the fire alarm, she smoked weed before school, snorted coke at lunch time, went truant all the time, and was caught having sex in an empty classroom (she was 14).
    Eventually, school told her that she would be expelled at the end of the week. The last 4 days were glorious - she was setting off the fire alarm on request (e.g. people asking her to set it off so they miss maths) and she stopped going to lessons.
    On the last day she brought in a bottle of champagne and drained it within 2 hours, in addition to the weed and coke. By 12am she was drunk and high, and by the end of the day she could barely stay upright. She finished off by throwing up in the head teacher's office and stumbling out the front gates singing God Save The Queen.
    Ella Bouthroyd - gone but not forgotten.

  • @lynnmarieadams1678
    @lynnmarieadams1678 3 года назад +5

    Love you from New Orleans

    • @harvey164
      @harvey164 3 года назад +1

      Would you not love him from anywhere else?

    • @AdamDawood
      @AdamDawood 3 года назад

      Where the fuck is that

    • @Boaba2
      @Boaba2 3 года назад

      @@AdamDawood the us

    • @AdamDawood
      @AdamDawood 3 года назад

      @@Boaba2 Wheres that?

  • @alexde1619
    @alexde1619 3 года назад +1

    Why didn't we hear all the stories :(

  • @thomasmarshall6097
    @thomasmarshall6097 3 года назад +6

    The getting teqcher sacked for teaching to make class a drugs. My physics teacher keeps getting to a point wher ehe nearly talks about how to make nukes and has to stop himself so he doesn't get sacked if over explained it.

  • @elliekirkham5515
    @elliekirkham5515 3 года назад +3

    Our maths teacher was caught watching porn during a maths test! Sacked ovbiously😂😭

  • @louisedavies3999
    @louisedavies3999 3 года назад +1

    Haha funny story! My friend found an opened unused condom in our Welsh lesson and we absolutely went to town on the teacher hahahsha

  • @crazyt1483
    @crazyt1483 3 года назад +4

    3:20 that is because it is A level content.

  • @johnnyroadcrew3841
    @johnnyroadcrew3841 3 года назад +3

    The weird thing is I can believe Mrs Howard doesnt get the need for flavoured condoms. .. ..

  • @justamanchimp
    @justamanchimp 3 года назад +3

    If anyone remembers the "Kyles mum" song from the South Park movie; In our first year of secondary school me and my mate thought it would be hilarious to change our other mates ringtone to that song and then try and get him caught using the phone so the teacher would tell him off, take phone away and place it in her draw. We'd leave it for a couple of minutes and then ring it..
    The joy of being sat in French class with a bunch of pals who clearly didn't want to be there, hearing a phone vibration followed by "Kyles moms a big fat bitch, the biggest bitch in the whole wide world" and then seeing the shock horror of the poor french lady, who was just trying to share her passion of the French language, freak out at our mate and send him to the headteacher in a rage 😂

  • @alicec1533
    @alicec1533 3 года назад +1

    Middle right person with "Blood Oath" top. \m/

  • @bucky2057
    @bucky2057 3 года назад +8

    I’ve heard weirder storie

  • @shadowwolf12398
    @shadowwolf12398 3 года назад +1

    I’m pretty sure every re teacher is eccentric. I wonder if there is a reason for that

  • @owm1560
    @owm1560 3 года назад +1

    Why was russell fake laughing loads😂😂😂

  • @charliechaori182
    @charliechaori182 3 года назад

    I live this!

  • @hymers2000
    @hymers2000 3 года назад +2

    oh no thats me

  • @starwarsiscool7543
    @starwarsiscool7543 3 года назад

    I loved it at 8:00

  • @breakfastroll3968
    @breakfastroll3968 3 года назад +3

    Hi all pissed people watching at 3 in the morning

  • @jamesduncan6822
    @jamesduncan6822 3 года назад

    The Chinese will never let this show continue!!

  • @kierancoleman4628
    @kierancoleman4628 3 года назад +3

    Love you Russel

  • @MB-pw3em
    @MB-pw3em 3 года назад +1

    Wait so the teacher got sacked for repeating a story?

  • @GreenCocanix
    @GreenCocanix 3 года назад

    Im glad I went to a protestant school now 😂

  • @magic8girl
    @magic8girl 3 года назад +1

    there's this one kid who brings chips in.
    poker chips. chips and card and at break' and lunch a bunch of kids just sit around in a circle and play Texas Holden.
    I won 2 games today actually.

    • @AtheistOrphan
      @AtheistOrphan 3 года назад

      Texas Holden? What’s that? A Dallas dealership for imported Australian cars?

    • @magic8girl
      @magic8girl 3 года назад

      @@AtheistOrphan I'm spelling that one poker game wrong arent I,I can't spell for my life

  • @hwoolfe1792
    @hwoolfe1792 3 года назад

    My catholic primary school was near a prostitute hotspot and they'd sometimes use our playground and one day we discovered a used condom which the boys promptly put on a stick and started chasing each other with. It also just so happened that we were doing sex ed at the time and, being a catholic school, they weren't going to tell us about protection until this incident so really I have to thank the prostitutes for forcing my school to teach us about contraception

  • @justinwow3144
    @justinwow3144 3 года назад +1

    Is it a reuploaded one?

  • @sachah-a6325
    @sachah-a6325 3 года назад +38

    im early hooray

  • @KarrierBag
    @KarrierBag 3 года назад

    FFS when we went to secondary school we used to bike 3 miles, half way there we either turned left for the school or right for the south downs and the vast amount of unspent ww2 ammunition. We spent the days blowing things up or calling the bomb squad to do it for us.
    1970's they were great times lol.
    kids are so soft these days :-)

    • @KarrierBag
      @KarrierBag 3 года назад

      oh and our french teacher was jailed for raping a 15 year old classmate.... great times... NOT

  • @M_SM_RW
    @M_SM_RW 3 года назад

    I was here in the top 10...

  • @jsmith4121
    @jsmith4121 3 года назад

    Someone shat in a bin

  • @Albin_Andersson
    @Albin_Andersson 3 года назад +2

    Hello

  • @happyflapjack1058
    @happyflapjack1058 3 года назад +1

    The yeet has arisen

  • @Rainbowofthefallen
    @Rainbowofthefallen 3 года назад

    🤣😂😹

  • @sarahmitchell3888
    @sarahmitchell3888 3 года назад

    🐴🌬

  • @mrhud50n15
    @mrhud50n15 3 года назад

    Catholic school lol well no shit

  • @prits5976
    @prits5976 3 года назад

    Fifth

  • @stopchangingmyname2004
    @stopchangingmyname2004 3 года назад

    100TH COMMENT YAY

  • @logantaylor1006
    @logantaylor1006 3 года назад +1

    These stories are so fake