I have learned that for me, at least, ego and pride gets on the way of most arguments. Once I understood that and kept my ego/pride out of it, I can pretty much resolve any issue with a clearer mind and greater openness. Life is so short.
Yes! When ego is not there blocking your true self everything is better. Healing and resources are only available to us when we set aside the hurt/pride/stubbornness that come from ego. Well done! 💛
I’ve known Roderick for many years. He was always the calmest guy in any situation. I am glad to see, him succeeding in developing this conflict resolution tool for the world. Good job my friend, sharing your compassion with the world.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
💯 focus on a single issue of disagreement. reduce that issue into a simple yes or no question both write down reasons to support yes or no answer 1 person reads the most important detail that they have written down. Without debating person 2 repeats back in their own words what they believe person 1 means. ("what you're saying is, you would like...") Person 2 will then ask is that right. Person 1 says yes or no. Person 2 responds to what person 1 MEANS. (Not what person 2 thinks person 1 means) They continue focussing on this detail and the remaining details, 1 detail at a time, until the issue is resolved processing the detailing writing slows communication giving them both time to think and respond thoughtfully (much more effective than the quick emotional response that often happens in disagreements)
Thank you so much for writing out this summary of the technique. I will write it out on paper & try it with my husband. We have great difficulty communicating & we need a technique to help us not argue, but instead communicate. I fear my husband will be unable to hear & process what I express & that he will shut down potentially effective communication by saying "you are just smarter than I am, & I just don't think like you do."
@@YBAngryPraying my heary out that my husband will actively participate in this technique/process & not shutdown the process by saying: "You are smarter than I am & I just don't think like you do."
A good sense of humor can disarm any conflict. Laughing together is fun and helps people relax, so the issue dissolves. I like what you said: "the relationship has to win or you both lose". Thank you so much for the giggles!
I just wanted to add that the game doesn't work if you don't play it. It is important to be intentional about not arguing. Play as often as possible, everytime there is a difference of opinion.
No it can’t lol it sounds good in theory tho. But not all conflicts can be resolved with humor. It can help not get u in to drama but not disarm any conflict.
I tried this with my narcissistic ex during our relationship and it didn't work. This technique works assuming the relationship itself is healthy sadly
@@YBAngry It helped in the moment but not in the way it should, i remember spending several hours trying to calmly list reasons just like in the video and what happened was alot of running around in circles. example: "I want to spend time with my friends" "So you dont want to spend time with me?" "response, yes i would like to spend time with you however, i've already spent alot of time with you this month and haven't spent time with my friends for a long time" "I want you to spend time with me and you spending time with your friends means you chose to not spend time with me. meaning you don't want to spend time with me" Narcissists are usually irrational in their arguments/wants from you so when you try to speak to them calmly and in a reasonable manner it will always go in circles unil they either get what they want or emotionally withdraw from the situation alltogether resulting in a later narcissistic collapse. Its a good techique that cannot cure a toxic interpersonal or intimate relationship. It would also only work assuming the person you are communicating with is rational.
Impossible to work with a narcissist - not only is it always about them, but they don’t even maintain consistent positions - it’s whatever suits them in the moment.
@@alexc4300 If someone truly have mental or emotional deficiencies then nothing works. I have seen this game help couples resolve seeming insurmountable disagreements. I've said many times before; if a couple does not win the game, somebody doesn't really want the relationship to work or somebody is lying. I guess I should start adding, somebody is not well. But looks, as far as I am concerned, if the game lets you know you are not compatible, then it has still been a valuable experience. If you take heed.
We often hear but don’t listen. We sometimes listen but don’t understand. Rod Jeter’s YB Angry techniques helps couples remove barriers to meaningful communication. If there is even a smidge of care, compassion and commitment in the relationship, I believe these techniques are fail proof. The RELATIONSHIP wins! Well done!
Absolutely! One of the main rules to this technique is that both parties must want the relationship to work. They must care. Thank you for watching and sharing your thoughts Alva!
This was the most impressive video that I have watched in a long time. This stuck with me like glue” The relationship must win or you both lose. That was a eye grabber that will gain the attention of many. Rod you are making a difference in the lives of many individuals keep up the great work I'm proud of you
@@MrDave1963This process has many benefits. Once there is an agreement, if someone doesn't follow through, instead of being angry and yelling, just play the game again. We all can use a reminder every now and then.
This is called active listening, and it is integral in communication. I learned this when studying neuro-linguistic programming and cognitive behavioral therapy.
The speaker talks about when things are good at home you can bring that good vibe/energy to work. Well, it’s the other way around too. When you’re too stressed and burned out from work it is hard to show up and give the best version of yourself at home.
That is absolutely true! But at least when you get home, your mood won't get worse because from you and your partner had a misunderstanding that could have been avoided.
It's an easy solution. The main issue is how to make it happen. How to convince the other half to talk and not to argue and how to stay patient and strong when not everything goes as planned.
Big facts only works if the relationship is healthy enough to sit down and talk. And if that the case then it’s not hard to sit down and talk. It’s only arguing so much when the relationship isn’t healthy enough to talk. That’s common sense it’s usually the mentality of a person in the relationship that won’t allow them to sit and talk and when u do try talking they take every thing as a personal attack even when it’s not. So wat he said is common sense. If ever one had the brain capacity to sit and talk every one would do it lol. Some people just don’t care wat the other has to say.
I agree. With some spouses - getting this to actually happen is MOST difficult - when 1 person won't listen, or perhaps CAN'T listen - due to a processing issue, a psych issue, a language disorder/issue, or a deeply ingrained habit.
@@Guero677YES Guero!! I wonder if my hubby will have put away the intense defensiveness so that the process can unfold & help us. He is very defensive & may aldo have some kind of linguistic disorder &/or a processing disorder. I PRAY THIS WILL WORK FOR US.
@ I pray it does too. It really just depends if u can come to a common understanding that conversion can start. Just don’t put him down or say any slick remarks. (not saying u do) just simple tell him can we talk like a real talk not get mad at wat we say just have a reasonable conversations. If we gonna fix wat we have we need to talk about the things bothering us and try to work on it. But in order to work on it we need to get to the root of the problem if not we’re just gonna continue to argue and start resenting each other and make things worse. Just got to explain it to him the best way u can cuz u know him more than anyone. And explain that this is just for conversation and not as a way to put him down or point out his flaws. I find most men as my self have a problem with felling like our partners are just always pointing out out flaws and put us down regardless of wat we’re doing. I e could work pay bill help with the house and yet still get told that we didn’t do this or could have did that. So best advice is to explain not trying to point out his flaws because u know ur not perfect as well and know u need to work on things as well. So that way he don’t automatically close off to the conversation.
Excellent tool to learn how to communicate with your partner. People must want to fix their marriage and the issues in order for it to work. It’s a start to something that could beautiful when a marriage/relationship is worth working for. Both parties have to be willing to explore this. Great tool! I’ve played the game and have referred to others. It’s definitely a game changer.
Absolutely!!! This game is not designed to fix a relationship once one or both parties have completely checked out. It's designed to keep them together by resolving the small issues that permeate into other issues in their lives that become big issues. As long as they both still want it. It works!
In the Marriage Clinic by John Gottman, having studied couples for 30 years, they found that resolving conflict is NOT determinant for couples staying together or having a great relationship. They say that fixes like this normally work for a little bit, but the day-to-day is harder. Most couples that stay together have unresolved conflicts. Things like learning how to repair and accept each other's bids to restore the relationship during and after an argument are more important than "Resolving" conflicts. This is still a great tool, but he overpromises at the beginning with his intro.
Relationships are central to our lives and avoiding being angry is central to maintaining healthy relationships. You presented your helpful tool in a very humorous and effective way. Thank you, Rod.
For me I learned I have to stop dating toxic men! Simple! That will end all relationship drama! I’m not saying I’m perfect by any means! However I can’t deal with cheating, lying or men with addictions anymore! It’s too much!
I was alone bc of this 40 yrs ago. I opted for a female puppy. She just wanted to please me. No lying cheating scheming Don Won. I’m sure that’s not the way to spell it but you get what I mean. I will say that if us women would hold onto our stuff longer, men would learn to practice the labor of the catch. We’ve made it too easy to jump in the sack with them. They’ll never change that way. It’s really a woman’s world. We just haven’t realized how ti negotiate the territory around the world. Withhold the prize would do it. I’m sure if this one thing in my life!!!
Maybe you should play the game with the man before getting into a committed relationship with him. If you can't win without a history of bad memories in the mix, you're probably not compatible. Simple as that. Share this video to help me spread the YBAngry Movement and make the world a happier place...one couple at a time...one issue at a time.
Actually once you learn how to play, writing is not very necessary. I'm glad this works for you. Please spread this video and help me change the world...one couple at a time.
This is absolutely amazing and I feel like if people really sit down and take the time to do it, it will help a lot more people’s relationship! 😊 this was really good unc
It's been almost a year now and more than 100,000 views later. The YBAngry Game Approach has helped so many people but we still have a long way to go. We won't to change the world...one couple at a time.
Calm moods and laid back attitudes are the moat important skill to have for communicating the subjects that are more delicately interconnected with our emotions and subconscious thoughts.
You theory and extremely well put communication and theory is wonderful. Its honestly inspiring. I really appreciate you and your work and the fact that you have shared this with us! Thank you Sir. 😊
Awesome job Jeter. It's amazing how you have simplified the art of resolving disagreements. All loving couples should be able to utilize "Y B Angry" in their lives. God bless you and yours my Brother.
I think it is also a good idea if we can avoid arguments in the first place. Imagine saying, "So what you are saying to me is..." to get clarity (this is step 4 in the YBAngry Couples Game) instead of coming back with some quick emotional response. The game removes all negative emotions from the conversation. It forces you both to listen and in turn, forces you both to hear each other.
It sounds as if this keeps people on track and keeps them from bringing up old, insignificant topics that derail effective communication. One important point discussed at a time! Great job! Where can this game be purchased?
It's all about communication, and sadly, some lack of communication, that's why I have remained single for over 5½ years. I'm big on communication. Communication is key
Hey Josua, I have coached more than a few couples that stated they were good in the communication department, but playing the game made them realize otherwise. They would have to repeat steps in the process of multiple times because they were not being as clear as they thought.
I love Roderick, he's hilarious! If I could carry a mini him in my pocket everyday I would so that every time I hear people arguing I could just bring him out to stop them arguing haha.
Just say "Why be angry? You can settle most any disagreement with the one you love in just minutes...no Fuss No drama." Then give them the link to this video.
I was thinking about having a journal that can be passed back and forth between most important people in our lives and do exactly what you are proposing:)
marriages and relationships has factors that contribute to happier and healthier families. YBAngry is a building block that include those important factors problem solving, building basic relationships redirection, and sponsoring the opposite feelings and emotion’s creating positive responses. This is the most impressive creation made having the love for relationships and how to keep them together and happy. It does create a better tomorrow and bright future bonds within two individuals keep up great work it is making a difference in the world today. Thanks for sharing !!!
I'm happy it makes sense to you. I can tell you I've seen this game work wonders. It's resolved issues that couples struggled with for decades. The YBAngry Couples removes negative emotions and forces your partner to hear you. Just follow the steps.
How do you use this technique with someone who gets mad and drained from talking about problems someone who would rather sweep them under the rug and act like they don’t exist rather than fix them? How do I get them to a point where they actually want to discuss it without making their anxiety rise and then feel attacked
I’m in this situation and I think the other person in our lives needs healing. I really think they refuse to face the pain that they’ve been inflicted with and we, as lovers are held to an expectation that we will distract them, make a new life / family, make it all better. NO!!!! We must ALL face our pasts and realize the role we played, forgive the role others played, recognize the lesson from the experience and move forward towards our personal goals one determined step at a time. Never alone. I hear YOU. ❤
Just attempted to suggest my partner and I try this, he didn't even see the whole video through. Don't know why I even bother trying to find solutions anymore.
Not sure if my last comment took but you're on the right track. The first rule is that both players want the relationship to work. Just get and play the YBAngry Relationship Game. Fix your situation now.
Gil!! Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it. Thank you also for sharing the talk and helping me make the world happier...one couple at a time. Thank you!
Quick fix does not fix a relationship! Yes it will fix the mood for the day or the week but a thriving relationship requires far beyond a 30 minutes game. Education Goal alignment Love Tolerance Patience Forgiveness …….
Absolutely!! But love, tolerance, patience, and forgiveness is so much easier to accomplish when the couple can communicate and feel heard. The YBAngry Couples Game is not a one time fix. It is designed to keep couples together...one issue at a time.
OK so you telling me. that the moment a disagreement starts, I should tell my wife, honey lets write down our disagreements and then talk it over. She would just ignore me and continue being angry.
When two or more people argue, they are actually fighting each other. Just that it is not a physical fight that they're having. but a neurological fight.
i have done everything he has said step by step with my partner and tehy refuse to communicate reasons why they feel the way they do, what can i do im trying so hard....
I feel like we didn’t fully heal before we fell in love and the question is why our discernment is a muck, why didn’t we realize during the love bomb that they would become bitter, jealous, lazy?! I’m with you, we will prevail. You and I learned soooo much having this self awareness for ourselves and our loved ones. You are an empath. You are gifted. Never be defeated by a narcissist.
It can. But, in a 24/7 relationship it is dangerously close to enabling and even accepting narcissistic abuse. Sadly, there is also a huge gender difference. Socioeconomically, too.
Except that written communication has shortcomings too. You may read the statements of your partner with an annoyed, angry, accusing voice creating the opposite situation if what he demonstrated.
How it can help me to make my boyfriend find a job? He doesn't work for 8 years, and I asked him to help me to provide us money many times. My back hurts because I have a heavy job, I didn't have free week for years.
What about betrayal? What type of betrayal? Listen, the sooner they can have a calm clear honest conversation about this, the sooner they can put it past them, if possible. Playing YBAngry forces them to hear each other. This definitely increases their chances of getting past betrayal.
Big facts only works if the relationship is healthy enough to sit down and talk. And if that the case then it’s not hard to sit down and talk. It’s only arguing so much when the relationship isn’t healthy enough to talk. That’s common sense it’s usually the mentality of a person in the relationship that won’t allow them to sit and talk and when u do try talking they take every thing as a personal attack even when it’s not. So wat he said is common sense. If ever one had the brain capacity to sit and talk every one would do it lol. Some people just don’t care wat the other has to say.
You give them at least 3 tries to get a yes out of you. This is a very important step. When your partner has to try several times to understand you, this shows the both of you that maybe you don't understand each other as well as you thought. Also right now you both are calm. Imagine how hard it is for your partner to really understand you when one or both of you are frustrated.
@YBAngry your replies to the top comment re narcissist give the impression you are incredibly naive or disingenuous or simply a bot. Your comment in response to my comment seems to indicate that after 3 attempts "then unknown result", because you only said to give then 3 tries, but leave out such a key detail as what to do after 3. You instead offer what amounts to speech about how much easier it can be to be misunderstood while frustrated... this all while ignoring the obvious: that even when perhalps starting off calm, after three attempts to offer understanding, and being told "no" **and then being told what you just said in substance (worded differently, but not in a way that affects the substance of the message) is what they really meant** humans would be frustrated... --and just to put a cherry on top: pretty sure most humans would readily see my initial comment describing it from the perspective of the person who is trying unsuccessfully to get a yes out of the other person, not the other way around... But I fully expect to get some gaslighty response if any. Maybe we can just leave it there.
You gotta control your cool as best as possible. I know this from experience. My project partner was in my face about negligently forgetting a few important things for our project, and we failed. Yes, it was my fault and he was right, but still, I couldn't tolerate this fact and his criticism, so I snapped, "At least I'm not on the spectrum." He looked so petrified when I said that. I realized that was a terrible thing to say. He won't talk to me. Is it that wrong to address someone's ASD to their face?
One of the reasons couples have said this game works so well is because the game removes emotions from the process. We are much less resourceful when we are angry. Thank you for watching and commenting. Please share.
I have learned that for me, at least, ego and pride gets on the way of most arguments. Once I understood that and kept my ego/pride out of it, I can pretty much resolve any issue with a clearer mind and greater openness. Life is so short.
Absolutely!!! Life is short.. Let's spread this video and the YBAngry Movement and let's all be happy.
Right Bro🎉
Yes. I totally agree. Unfortunately, problems still occur when the OTHER person refuses to do the same
@@kristenttThis game removes the egos and negative emotions from the conversation.
Yes! When ego is not there blocking your true self everything is better. Healing and resources are only available to us when we set aside the hurt/pride/stubbornness that come from ego. Well done! 💛
I’ve known Roderick for many years. He was always the calmest guy in any situation. I am glad to see, him succeeding in developing this conflict resolution tool for the world. Good job my friend, sharing your compassion with the world.
Thank you!!!
you’re so fortunate to know this man he must be really fun guy to hang with at a party
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him
His name is Fatherabulu, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
He is Fatherabulu has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked he up now online. impressive
💯
focus on a single issue of disagreement.
reduce that issue into a simple yes or no question
both write down reasons to support yes or no answer
1 person reads the most important detail that they have written down.
Without debating person 2 repeats back in their own words what they believe person 1 means. ("what you're saying is, you would like...")
Person 2 will then ask is that right.
Person 1 says yes or no.
Person 2 responds to what person 1 MEANS. (Not what person 2 thinks person 1 means)
They continue focussing on this detail and the remaining details, 1 detail at a time, until the issue is resolved
processing the detailing writing slows communication giving them both time to think and respond thoughtfully (much more effective than the quick emotional response that often happens in disagreements)
Looks like you have it! Please share!
@W_Bin Hey, you got the process down. Are you in a relationship? Have you been practicing?
Thank you so much for writing out this summary of the technique. I will write it out on paper & try it with my husband. We have great difficulty communicating & we need a technique to help us not argue, but instead communicate. I fear my husband will be unable to hear & process what I express & that he will shut down potentially effective communication by saying "you are just smarter than I am, & I just don't think like you do."
@@YBAngryPraying my heary out that my husband will actively participate in this technique/process & not shutdown the process by saying: "You are smarter than I am & I just don't think like you do."
A good sense of humor can disarm any conflict. Laughing together is fun and helps people relax, so the issue dissolves. I like what you said: "the relationship has to win or you both lose". Thank you so much for the giggles!
Yep, sometime we let ourselves get in the way of our relationship.
I just wanted to add that the game doesn't work if you don't play it. It is important to be intentional about not arguing. Play as often as possible, everytime there is a difference of opinion.
No it can’t lol it sounds good in theory tho. But not all conflicts can be resolved with humor. It can help not get u in to drama but not disarm any conflict.
@Guero677 The YBAngry game works because it forces you partner to hear you. Both of you are able to share without upsetting the other. It just works!
Anger is a Sign of Pain or Fear Of It.
*Much Compassion & Respect
Thank you!
@@YBAngry 🤗
Have you been practicing the YBAngry Game Approach? You have to be intentional about not arguing.
I tried this with my narcissistic ex during our relationship and it didn't work. This technique works assuming the relationship itself is healthy sadly
Are you saying it did not help you resolve the issue at the moment?
That's right
@@YBAngry It helped in the moment but not in the way it should, i remember spending several hours trying to calmly list reasons just like in the video and what happened was alot of running around in circles. example:
"I want to spend time with my friends"
"So you dont want to spend time with me?"
"response, yes i would like to spend time with you however, i've already spent alot of time with you this month and haven't spent time with my friends for a long time"
"I want you to spend time with me and you spending time with your friends means you chose to not spend time with me.
meaning you don't want to spend time with me"
Narcissists are usually irrational in their arguments/wants from you so when you try to speak to them calmly and in a reasonable manner it will always go in circles unil they either get what they want or emotionally withdraw from the situation alltogether resulting in a later narcissistic collapse.
Its a good techique that cannot cure a toxic interpersonal or intimate relationship. It would also only work assuming the person you are communicating with is rational.
Impossible to work with a narcissist - not only is it always about them, but they don’t even maintain consistent positions - it’s whatever suits them in the moment.
@@alexc4300 If someone truly have mental or emotional deficiencies then nothing works. I have seen this game help couples resolve seeming insurmountable disagreements. I've said many times before; if a couple does not win the game, somebody doesn't really want the relationship to work or somebody is lying. I guess I should start adding, somebody is not well. But looks, as far as I am concerned, if the game lets you know you are not compatible, then it has still been a valuable experience. If you take heed.
We often hear but don’t listen. We sometimes listen but don’t understand. Rod Jeter’s YB Angry techniques helps couples remove barriers to meaningful communication. If there is even a smidge of care, compassion and commitment in the relationship, I believe these techniques are fail proof. The RELATIONSHIP wins! Well done!
Absolutely! One of the main rules to this technique is that both parties must want the relationship to work. They must care. Thank you for watching and sharing your thoughts Alva!
Nicely stated.
This was the most impressive video that I have watched in a long time. This stuck with me like glue” The relationship must win or you both lose. That was a eye grabber that will gain the attention of many. Rod you are making a difference in the lives of many individuals keep up the great work I'm proud of you
Wow!! Thank you for sharing. Hopefully we will look back ten years from now at a much happier world.
Internal healing makes a person feel comfortable in their own body and more calm & connected with everyone around them. It all starts inside! 💛
Was there something in the video that made you think of internal healing?
Awesome. This is exactly what my marriage is in need of. Ways to be able to communicate to resolve issues without elevated attitudes.
@@MrDave1963This process has many benefits. Once there is an agreement, if someone doesn't follow through, instead of being angry and yelling, just play the game again. We all can use a reminder every now and then.
@@MrDave1963 Don't try to get her to do it for help. Do it for fun!!!!
Such a powerful way to present a simple idea that can save America. Thank you.
Thank you Audrey for providing an awesome platform for me to share my idea worth sharing!
TEDxSanDiego
This is called active listening, and it is integral in communication. I learned this when studying neuro-linguistic programming and cognitive behavioral therapy.
It is, and the game helps people use it in there relationships.
Active listening is extremely important
The speaker talks about when things are good at home you can bring that good vibe/energy to work. Well, it’s the other way around too. When you’re too stressed and burned out from work it is hard to show up and give the best version of yourself at home.
That is absolutely true! But at least when you get home, your mood won't get worse because from you and your partner had a misunderstanding that could have been avoided.
It's an easy solution. The main issue is how to make it happen. How to convince the other half to talk and not to argue and how to stay patient and strong when not everything goes as planned.
Funny thing, the game doesn't leave room for arguing. Just stay on track and you'll see, it comes natural in the game.
Big facts only works if the relationship is healthy enough to sit down and talk. And if that the case then it’s not hard to sit down and talk. It’s only arguing so much when the relationship isn’t healthy enough to talk. That’s common sense it’s usually the mentality of a person in the relationship that won’t allow them to sit and talk and when u do try talking they take every thing as a personal attack even when it’s not. So wat he said is common sense. If ever one had the brain capacity to sit and talk every one would do it lol. Some people just don’t care wat the other has to say.
I agree. With some spouses - getting this to actually happen is MOST difficult - when 1 person won't listen, or perhaps CAN'T listen - due to a processing issue, a psych issue, a language disorder/issue, or a deeply ingrained habit.
@@Guero677YES Guero!! I wonder if my hubby will have put away the intense defensiveness so that the process can unfold & help us. He is very defensive & may aldo have some kind of linguistic disorder &/or a processing disorder. I PRAY THIS WILL WORK FOR US.
@ I pray it does too. It really just depends if u can come to a common understanding that conversion can start. Just don’t put him down or say any slick remarks. (not saying u do) just simple tell him can we talk like a real talk not get mad at wat we say just have a reasonable conversations. If we gonna fix wat we have we need to talk about the things bothering us and try to work on it. But in order to work on it we need to get to the root of the problem if not we’re just gonna continue to argue and start resenting each other and make things worse. Just got to explain it to him the best way u can cuz u know him more than anyone. And explain that this is just for conversation and not as a way to put him down or point out his flaws. I find most men as my self have a problem with felling like our partners are just always pointing out out flaws and put us down regardless of wat we’re doing. I e could work pay bill help with the house and yet still get told that we didn’t do this or could have did that. So best advice is to explain not trying to point out his flaws because u know ur not perfect as well and know u need to work on things as well. So that way he don’t automatically close off to the conversation.
Start here>>> 2:20
The hero we need
Wtf intro took ages
@@jaspervanschaijk7479 I wanted to give people an idea of the vision I have for the world, once people start using this process.
@@samuelwilliams7079 This really works. A quick and simple way to get what you want from your spouse without arguing...in just minutes.
Thank u
Good job Dad!!! Congratulations❤ Proud of you! 🎉
Thanks Babygirl!!
And Thank you Babygirl for designing the game.
Wow! So happy I found this video. I pray this works. We love one another so much but the arguing is destroying us 😥
@cms_10 It will work! It always works, if you follow the rules.
Great talk! This technique teaches active listening which is the key to maintaining a good relationship.
Correct! That's what they call it. I think people learn to play games and build habits much easier than learning that sort of stuff. 😂😂😂
Excellent tool to learn how to communicate with your partner. People must want to fix their marriage and the issues in order for it to work. It’s a start to something that could beautiful when a marriage/relationship is worth working for. Both parties have to be willing to explore this. Great tool! I’ve played the game and have referred to others. It’s definitely a game changer.
Absolutely!!! This game is not designed to fix a relationship once one or both parties have completely checked out. It's designed to keep them together by resolving the small issues that permeate into other issues in their lives that become big issues. As long as they both still want it. It works!
In the Marriage Clinic by John Gottman, having studied couples for 30 years, they found that resolving conflict is NOT determinant for couples staying together or having a great relationship. They say that fixes like this normally work for a little bit, but the day-to-day is harder. Most couples that stay together have unresolved conflicts. Things like learning how to repair and accept each other's bids to restore the relationship during and after an argument are more important than "Resolving" conflicts.
This is still a great tool, but he overpromises at the beginning with his intro.
Your comment is more valuable than the video.
Thank You.
@@jareknowak8712 I'm so glad to hear! Your comment made my day!
@@pepsteruncini
You're welcome!
This game really works! If we can all try this game, it will change our society one game at a time!
Try it!
Yes yes! One couple at a time...one issue at a time.
Relationships are central to our lives and avoiding being angry is central to maintaining healthy relationships. You presented your helpful tool in a very humorous and effective way. Thank you, Rod.
Thank you Walter. I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts. That's a great example of "Say it now!"
Such an important message… Please teach this to the whole world.
That's my goal! Thank you!
For me I learned I have to stop dating toxic men! Simple! That will end all relationship drama! I’m not saying I’m perfect by any means! However I can’t deal with cheating, lying or men with addictions anymore! It’s too much!
I was alone bc of this 40 yrs ago. I opted for a female puppy. She just wanted to please me. No lying cheating scheming Don Won. I’m sure that’s not the way to spell it but you get what I mean. I will say that if us women would hold onto our stuff longer, men would learn to practice the labor of the catch. We’ve made it too easy to jump in the sack with them. They’ll never change that way. It’s really a woman’s world. We just haven’t realized how ti negotiate the territory around the world. Withhold the prize would do it. I’m sure if this one thing in my life!!!
Maybe you should play the game with the man before getting into a committed relationship with him. If you can't win without a history of bad memories in the mix, you're probably not compatible. Simple as that. Share this video to help me spread the YBAngry Movement and make the world a happier place...one couple at a time...one issue at a time.
This happens when you ignore the men that are safe and like you then having the bad boys confuse you.
U need to hold yourself accountable
Mooooo
We stopped fighting after listening to this, didn’t write a single thing down
Actually once you learn how to play, writing is not very necessary. I'm glad this works for you. Please spread this video and help me change the world...one couple at a time.
This is absolutely amazing and I feel like if people really sit down and take the time to do it, it will help a lot more people’s relationship! 😊 this was really good unc
Thanks!
I still have to watch this from time to time. It was a wonderful experience, and it's all so true. Why Be Angry?
It's been almost a year now and more than 100,000 views later. The YBAngry Game Approach has helped so many people but we still have a long way to go. We won't to change the world...one couple at a time.
Calm moods and laid back attitudes are the moat important skill to have for communicating the subjects that are more delicately interconnected with our emotions and subconscious thoughts.
Absolutely 💯. The YBAngry Couples Game removes all the negative emotions from the conversation. Thanks for watching.
You theory and extremely well put communication and theory is wonderful. Its honestly inspiring. I really appreciate you and your work and the fact that you have shared this with us! Thank you Sir. 😊
Thank you! Help me change the world...one couple at a time. Share this video.
I love this man's message and how he delivers it. I will be sharing this a plenty
Yes! Yes! Thank you!
I didn't care for the 2-minute plus intro, but the rest was delightfully insightful.
Thank you Sir! I thought it was important to give people an idea of how much of a difference this could make in the world. Thanks for commenting.
EVERYTHING IS INTERCONNECTED
What does "everything is interconnected" mean as it relates to this video? Thank you in advance for your response.
OK I’m gonna try this with hubby….. thank you and great speech
It works much better I'd you actually have the YBAngry game
Ok, this is useful and smart 😂, I'm trying this in my current relationship
Good luck!
Awesome job Jeter. It's amazing how you have simplified the art of resolving disagreements. All loving couples should be able to utilize "Y B Angry" in their lives. God bless you and yours my Brother.
Thank you Mark!! I appreciate you taking the time to comment. I am hoping that YBAngry will change the world...one couple at a time.
O (dear) soul, Love alone cuts disputation short, for it (alone) comes to the rescue when you cry for help against arguments.
💚
RUMI
I think it is also a good idea if we can avoid arguments in the first place. Imagine saying, "So what you are saying to me is..." to get clarity (this is step 4 in the YBAngry Couples Game) instead of coming back with some quick emotional response. The game removes all negative emotions from the conversation. It forces you both to listen and in turn, forces you both to hear each other.
Message makes sense. Nice delivery. Congrats on the success of your game that is making a positive impact on relationships.
Thank you!!
I'm trying to change the world...one couple at a time. Spread the word.
Surprisingly enough. I’ve see the after affects of this game/system. It it’s worked wonders, when the relationship is the goal.
Exactly, it's not a game where you can win alone. The relationship has to win or you both lose.
It sounds as if this keeps people on track and keeps them from bringing up old, insignificant topics that derail effective communication. One important point discussed at a time! Great job! Where can this game be purchased?
💯 absolutely!
Best TED talk I've ever heard. 😊
Me toooo!!! Please share it!
Ever? Ever?
It's all about communication, and sadly, some lack of communication, that's why I have remained single for over 5½ years. I'm big on communication. Communication is key
Hey Josua, I have coached more than a few couples that stated they were good in the communication department, but playing the game made them realize otherwise. They would have to repeat steps in the process of multiple times because they were not being as clear as they thought.
Great vengeance and furious anger
Really?
I love Roderick, he's hilarious! If I could carry a mini him in my pocket everyday I would so that every time I hear people arguing I could just bring him out to stop them arguing haha.
Just say "Why be angry? You can settle most any disagreement with the one you love in just minutes...no Fuss No drama." Then give them the link to this video.
Hi , Mrs jeter I love the game and will tell everyone about it,it really help us. Thank you.
Thank you for that confirmation mom!
I was thinking about having a journal that can be passed back and forth between most important people in our lives and do exactly what you are proposing:)
Exactly what I am proposing?
marriages and relationships has factors that contribute to happier and healthier families. YBAngry is a building block that include those important factors problem solving, building basic relationships redirection, and sponsoring the opposite feelings and emotion’s creating positive responses. This is the most impressive creation made having the love for relationships and how to keep them together and happy. It does create a better tomorrow and bright future bonds within two individuals keep up great work it is making a difference in the world today. Thanks for sharing !!!
Wow!! Very well said!! Thank you!
I started searching for answers cause I'm with a partner we argue alot but this make sense
I'm happy it makes sense to you. I can tell you I've seen this game work wonders. It's resolved issues that couples struggled with for decades. The YBAngry Couples removes negative emotions and forces your partner to hear you. Just follow the steps.
Video starts at 2:28
Nahhhhh, the video starts at 00:00. We need people to think of the possibilities. The world need hope.
Brilliant Talk Rod
Thank you Tim!!
Well done, Rod! 👏🏻 Wishing you all the best in your endeavors around the YBAngry movement and game.
Thank you Jennifer!! I appreciate you taking the time to comment and helping the YBAngry movement off to a good start.
Wonferful talk!!! Stellar endeavor with Awesome goals!! More powerful to U Man!! Thank U!!! 💗👍👍💗👏👏💗
Big thank you to you! Share with friends, family, and social media so we can help more people.
The relationship wins, or we both lose.. simple truth..
Absolutely! When the couple keeps that rule, the rest is easy.
Wow! This is absolutely a game changer!!
Yes Sirrrr! We need more people to believe it is possible and just try it!
Beautiful. Simple. Elegant. ❤❤❤
Yes, the simplicity is a big part of why it works
Rod, you broke the code to understand women and cause communication. Nobel prize should go to you sir!
Nobel Prize!!!! That's a great idea, but for that to happen we have a big impact on the world. You can help me by sharing this video. Thank you!
How do you use this technique with someone who gets mad and drained from talking about problems someone who would rather sweep them under the rug and act like they don’t exist rather than fix them? How do I get them to a point where they actually want to discuss it without making their anxiety rise and then feel attacked
The game provides the structure and environment to take care of all that.
I’m in this situation and I think the other person in our lives needs healing. I really think they refuse to face the pain that they’ve been inflicted with and we, as lovers are held to an expectation that we will distract them, make a new life / family, make it all better. NO!!!! We must ALL face our pasts and realize the role we played, forgive the role others played, recognize the lesson from the experience and move forward towards our personal goals one determined step at a time. Never alone. I hear YOU. ❤
@@lizi.2503 Well said. Keep in mind that playing the game will allow you to have the calm clear conversation that puts you on the right track.
TEAL SWAN. < watch her
ADAM LANE SMITH
You're dealing with an AVOIDANT. You have to know this.
Thank you.
Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment! You are very welcome!!
I really thinks this works. I think me and my boyfriend will try it. I really believe in it
It absolutely works!! You'll see.
Hi Claudia, did you try it? Did it work? You have to play to win!!!
Just attempted to suggest my partner and I try this, he didn't even see the whole video through. Don't know why I even bother trying to find solutions anymore.
that always sucks
I’m here to fix my relationship because I love my girl
That's a very good start. Both partners wanting the relationship to work is the first of 3 requirements for the YBAngry Relationship Game to work.
Not sure if my last comment took but you're on the right track. The first rule is that both players want the relationship to work. Just get and play the YBAngry Relationship Game. Fix your situation now.
I loved your talk when I saw it live, and it's great to watch it again. I will forward the link to many of my friends. Good luck!
Gil!! Thank you! I am glad you enjoyed it. Thank you also for sharing the talk and helping me make the world happier...one couple at a time. Thank you!
Great presentation! I love the way you break it down. Why be angry?
Thank you! I am just a regular guy, so I created this so that regular couples can play and win. Please share!
Very Helpful tips thank u
Noooooo, thank you for watching and taking the time to comment!!
TED came with a gem here
Absolutely!!!
Quick fix does not fix a relationship! Yes it will fix the mood for the day or the week but a thriving relationship requires far beyond a 30 minutes game.
Education
Goal alignment
Love
Tolerance
Patience
Forgiveness …….
Absolutely!! But love, tolerance, patience, and forgiveness is so much easier to accomplish when the couple can communicate and feel heard.
The YBAngry Couples Game is not a one time fix. It is designed to keep couples together...one issue at a time.
Bravo Zulu Mr. Jeter! Great message.
Thank you Sir! Please share!
Great talk !
Thank you!
OK so you telling me. that the moment a disagreement starts, I should tell my wife, honey lets write down our disagreements and then talk it over. She would just ignore me and continue being angry.
Actually you'll say, "Honey, let's play YBAngry." You'll play the game and resolve the issue. NO FUSS NO DRAMA.
When two or more people argue, they are actually fighting each other. Just that it is not a physical fight that they're having. but a neurological fight.
@cosmologybey0 I never thought of it that way. Nicely said.
Loved the message you sent out. Great work. Going to try this technique. God bless
Thank you Louis. This process is very effective. It's so much easier to resolve your disagreements when you're having a structured discussion.
Did you get around to trying the technique? Did it work for you?
@@YBAngry yes it did
@@louismosley811 Awesome!!
This is an amazing technique
Absolutely!! Please spread the word!!
Very impressive and interesting talk.
Thanks you Sir!!!!! I appreciate you and your lady playing the game to settle your issue almost two years ago.
So, we need to write the issue
Yes, after you agree on an issue to settle you will put it in writing. This serves as a reminder and helps you remain focused on the issue.
This is amazing. I'm gonna try it 😁
Did you try it yet? Its much easier if you have the paper game or if you have downloaded the YBAngry Couples Game app.
i have done everything he has said step by step with my partner and tehy refuse to communicate reasons why they feel the way they do, what can i do im trying so hard....
I feel like we didn’t fully heal before we fell in love and the question is why our discernment is a muck, why didn’t we realize during the love bomb that they would become bitter, jealous, lazy?! I’m with you, we will prevail. You and I learned soooo much having this self awareness for ourselves and our loved ones. You are an empath. You are gifted. Never be defeated by a narcissist.
This doesn’t work with narcissists
Ohhh yes it absolutely does! I've used it several times.
It can.
But, in a 24/7 relationship it is dangerously close to enabling and even accepting narcissistic abuse.
Sadly, there is also a huge gender difference. Socioeconomically, too.
@debramoss2267 what does the gender difference have to do with it?
Great info and presentation. All around great job Rod....
Thank you!
Well done! I love your message. Keep up the great work! 😁
Thank you Brianne, and thanks for participating. Glad it worked for your relationship, as usual.
I really love this.
Thank you!
Nice talk. I enjoyed the topic. Where do we find the game? I’d like to learn more. I liked the example of your parents. 😊
Thanks for watching and taking the time to leave a comment.
Except that written communication has shortcomings too. You may read the statements of your partner with an annoyed, angry, accusing voice creating the opposite situation if what he demonstrated.
Awesome!!! Thank you Rod!
Nooooo! Thank you for watching and being a part of this YBAngry Movement.
Love it.
Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment. Please share!! Let's change the world...one couple at a time.
AL Bundy is the King of handling issues.
Lol!!
Greatest speech ❤❤❤
So good
Thank you sir! Looks like you have a TEDTalk yourself. Thank you!
How it can help me to make my boyfriend find a job? He doesn't work for 8 years, and I asked him to help me to provide us money many times. My back hurts because I have a heavy job, I didn't have free week for years.
If you play the game, it will help him understand you. It makes him use active listening.
It’s easy to say hard to do w a toxic partner that wants to pick a fight everyday
Just try it. Get the YBAngry Couples Game and you'll see. Fighting is practically impossible.
I’ll try it cause i feel like falling
Because you feel like falling? You may have meant failing, but if you follow the rules at the YBAngry website you will not lose.
What about past betrayal?
What about betrayal? What type of betrayal? Listen, the sooner they can have a calm clear honest conversation about this, the sooner they can put it past them, if possible. Playing YBAngry forces them to hear each other. This definitely increases their chances of getting past betrayal.
Wow incredible
Thank you!! Please share!!
I'm here because my wife is forcing me to go to a day spa.
Who is this I love you 😁
Go tell her thank you for loving you ❤
So did you watch the video during the spa?
@@YBAngry😂 also curious
@@coreyconstruction3695 Who do you love?
And you'd say that this with a person who leads with anger or is easily angered or agitated??
Please upload a video in each day
Sorry , it was my phone . Had to go to settings and adjust 😂
Big facts only works if the relationship is healthy enough to sit down and talk. And if that the case then it’s not hard to sit down and talk. It’s only arguing so much when the relationship isn’t healthy enough to talk. That’s common sense it’s usually the mentality of a person in the relationship that won’t allow them to sit and talk and when u do try talking they take every thing as a personal attack even when it’s not. So wat he said is common sense. If ever one had the brain capacity to sit and talk every one would do it lol. Some people just don’t care wat the other has to say.
thats my boy there
I'm trying to make things happen. Thank you!!
And when the answer is invarriably "no, what i meant was [what you just paraphrased]!" What then? Just keep looping?
You give them at least 3 tries to get a yes out of you. This is a very important step. When your partner has to try several times to understand you, this shows the both of you that maybe you don't understand each other as well as you thought. Also right now you both are calm. Imagine how hard it is for your partner to really understand you when one or both of you are frustrated.
@YBAngry your replies to the top comment re narcissist give the impression you are incredibly naive or disingenuous or simply a bot.
Your comment in response to my comment seems to indicate that after 3 attempts "then unknown result", because you only said to give then 3 tries, but leave out such a key detail as what to do after 3. You instead offer what amounts to speech about how much easier it can be to be misunderstood while frustrated... this all while ignoring the obvious: that even when perhalps starting off calm, after three attempts to offer understanding, and being told "no" **and then being told what you just said in substance (worded differently, but not in a way that affects the substance of the message) is what they really meant** humans would be frustrated...
--and just to put a cherry on top: pretty sure most humans would readily see my initial comment describing it from the perspective of the person who is trying unsuccessfully to get a yes out of the other person, not the other way around...
But I fully expect to get some gaslighty response if any. Maybe we can just leave it there.
You gotta control your cool as best as possible. I know this from experience. My project partner was in my face about negligently forgetting a few important things for our project, and we failed. Yes, it was my fault and he was right, but still, I couldn't tolerate this fact and his criticism, so I snapped, "At least I'm not on the spectrum." He looked so petrified when I said that. I realized that was a terrible thing to say. He won't talk to me.
Is it that wrong to address someone's ASD to their face?
One of the reasons couples have said this game works so well is because the game removes emotions from the process. We are much less resourceful when we are angry. Thank you for watching and commenting. Please share.
Did you and your partner get over the issue of you yelling about the spectrum?
No. Was it that bad, acknowledging their disorder?@@YBAngry
@johnrainsman6650 You were not acknowledging it. You used it as an insult and you know it. You said you snapped.
@@YBAngryOkay, I admit it. I think people with ASD are lesser. And that they even defy the whole "normal is subjective" philosophy. Is that so wrong?