Look up the "Husband Store" joke.(it's not quite a joke) basically the gist of the joke is that a building contains men who would be perfect for each women who shopped at the store. There is guaranteed to be "a" man on one of the floors that is absolutely what she would want. She finds a great guy on like floor 3 or 4. But then continues on up with the false assumption that if there are still more floors , the guys MUST get better??!?! The punchline is that the last floor is nothing but a sign that says "this floor exists only to prove women are never satisfied "
The image of the perfect fictional match existing within reach means women pile themselves onto a tiny minority of men, who with a wealth of choices isn’t compelled to settle on one. This results in dissatisfaction and lonliness all around. Dating app data clearly indicates this overconcentration of sexual attention, which if not tempered is going to spiral into a never-ending race of male aggression and female defensiveness seen throughout other animal species.
@JanBanJoovi-olqv You're right. We should do something about it. Should we do something about it? We should do something about it. Should we do something about it?
Literally I do the same😂😂, there is a saying of my people that says "better to be alone than with bad company", can't be more true than nowadays cheers.
Everyone is trying to "find" the right person instead of trying to "be" the right person, and that is the problem with the dating scene and society in general.
In general, we attract what we are. As men, we can complain or be better. I would rather try and be better with hopes of finding someone. But it's frustrating at the same time.
@ericcarson342 You never try and get better in hopes of obtaining somebody. You get better so you don't need anybody. Then everyone for you will be naturally drawn to you.
@Malik Invictus Totally agree with your point about your vibe attracting your tribe, however, people do need people. There's nothing shameful in that, it's how we were made. It's human. You improve yourself to be your best self so that you have something wonderful to offer the world. That's what love is, it's to give of yourself. I think it's the antithesis of and antidote to the soulless, selfish, superficial instant gratification world we live in now. Everyone's looking at what they can get from someone else instead of what they can offer.
That's so fucking dumb bro I'm sry. Imagine saying someone's food taste is too pickey because they've had too much access to good food as opposed to a lifetime of eating slop and just being happy with the premium slop.
Yup the woman that says she’d rather date 5 guys than deal w 1 red flag lol. She for the streets. On top of that she’s the worst looking one of the bunch. Incredible.
Dating nowadays in 2023 is way harder for “Man” not women. Nowadays most women even average looking chicks can get bunch of options based on dating apps and social media. 90% of women nowadays only chasing the top 10% of best looking men.
@@mandaloin how they did it 50 years ago ? 😊 no Damn dating apps and so on.. Cuz today ppl have confidence online and in real life they,re different. So better you see this person in real life. It’s confident to talk to the person you r interested to. Nothing is going to happen. It’s confident af…
Totally agree. I tried online dating once and it one felt very artificial, and two the girls I found on there were just crap. All the good women I've met have been through in person.
@@andrewfreiji4647 You see 😊 I never tried it but as a woman it’s also not easy there.. I’m shock how girls present themselves.. It’s not the reality at all.. But if you meet the person in real life, you directly see how they act, how they talk, how they treat you.. Ppl need to wake up
You weed a lot of people out simply by requesting meeting in person right after connecting with them on social media. Most simply want the free attention.
Romantic relationships are not a beautiful thing. Romance causes a lot of problems in this world. Life is a lot better without romance than it is with it. Romantic love is not special at all, and I think that the romantic type of love isn't real. More than half of romantic relationships end in a breakup/divorce. Romantic relationships are objectively very prone to failure. And most couples who are still together are usually not happy being together. Also, there are a lot of toxic romantic relationships. Like an example is that abuse happens a lot in romantic relationships. This world would be a much better place if there was no romance. Everything would be much better if everyone stopped dating and getting married. Romance is a bad thing.
Yes bur having more don't neccessary make you happier. Always looking for better and perfection is the highway to perpetual insatisfaction and depression.
@@johnfisher8401Because she can, since she has probably an unlimited stream of free male attention just for being alive. If men keep sinking their standards into the basement, it's just men's fault.
Couldn’t have said it better. More people are choosing solitude over relationships/ dating because this new age society promotes and rewards instant gratification and selfishness which is equivalent to rewarding narcissism. With social media being the main contributor it brings out the ugliest side of human beings and makes the ugly ones even uglier. Love and loyalty is dead, infidelity and the chasing of desired status quos took over.
You can never find a perfect relationship. You have to build one up with someone you're willing to accept the flaws of. Everyone's stuck in the crush phase.
Exactly the reason why my ex left me 1.5. months ago. She wants everything to be perfect and that wasn’t and will never be… She will learn it with her next boyfriend, sadly I had to be her learning object. Because I was happy and accepted her flaws….
@@mr.genatix-hardstyleandtra800 Sorry to hear that. People are stuck looking for happiness in the wrong places, not realizing it's their perception and not necessarily outside objects. I hope things work out for you.
Men don't want a relationship with women any more. You will soon realise this when they ask for sex but not how your day was. When women form harems for the men out of their league whom they desire this is what happens.
o wome arw choosig pick up artists ad abusive men over real me so we all now have to learn pick up and be awful peopel to get women, its not men its womens sexuality thats the problem, its toxic af !
They took away all the clubs and things to do that people used to do by atomization and deracination sorry ya I used the scary word. It is what it is. Also plenty of hate for native born Americans coming out of foreign controlled activities.
my last gf , we were friends for 1 yr before official together , and we only lasted 4 months, i thought that maybe becoming friends is maybe easier before dating n have friendship as u go.
It's actually worse than a job interview since two people expect way too much out of each other where it's so unrealistic and just plain stupid pure retardation that I'm glad I realized today about dating you want to find a date just stop trying to find the right person and be the right person which is the greatest reality check I ever gone to improve my chances and the other thing is that you must off as friends with a girl in order for a relationship to grow and start people basically just forgotten how easy it was now sadly they just made it so much more harder than it actually has to be it's also thanks to dating online apps that are horrible especially when you find a match but you have zero chemistry especially when that person claims to be who they're not to be furthermore reasons why online dating should just be banned people need to just grow balls and meet each other in real life again like how it was so true love can start again.
@@johnyaxon__cope, only women are the employers because they hold all the power in dating and they could leave you in the blink of an eye with another guy waiting on them 🤡
Dating isn’t harder, but finding the right person to date has become. Finding an individual that is not constantly on social media and trying to prove to others their life, Partner etc.. is the best, is hard. I think nowadays it’s much easier to approach someone, because of social media everyone is only matching up online and don’t even straight up ask someone on a date face to face. I‘m not that much on social media which let’s me see so much more of life. Finding someone who doesn’t hide behind a social media mask and tries to prove something to people, with money they don’t have to people that don’t care is hard. Dating isn’t harder but finding the real faces of people has become harder.
One of the issues I’ve found with dating in this day and age is that we’re all so easily disposable. You can be amazing in almost every single category, but people will zone in on ONE small imperfection and then ghost you for the next best thing without a second thought. Aside from that, there’s a very prevalent hook-up culture where people want the benefits of a relationship without actually having to commit to anyone… which makes it convenient for someone to be seeing multiple people all at once. I don’t have anything against those who prefer to live a more casual lifestyle, but it’s difficult for people like me who are naturally monogamous to find someone who’s on the same wavelength.
It's ridiculous. If I had the standards of these people I would've never found the love of my life. I would've I just skipped over them because they weren't a 9/10 or whatever. You're never gonna find someone who doesn't have some kind of problem with them. You have to learn to compromise.
Yup. They find the black dot on the white canvas and then make a whole character judgment without even really knowing you. Zero loyalty and consistency nowadays
The issue I often see with girls these days is that they are all fn depressed and want more of a personal monkey\clown rather then boyfriend. They just look for someone to entertain them 24/7, and after six months they go "is everything a joke to you?" when relationship should move to next level.
@@inneedofgreen7102 bro i got ghosted by a chick 5 times before I even knew what was happening. Everybody always preached women were our better half. Boy is that a gd lie! I heard shes very overweight now so that always makes me laugh
@@BatmanBeyondBelief lmao it’s not that it’s a lie, a good woman will build a great man. It’s just rare these days, especially w social media making people think perfection is the only option, give it time brother, you gotta build yourself up from the ashes, create value in yourself and it will attract the right people
The "friends first", if genuine, or at least strong acquaintances first is really the best approach. You get to see someone USUALLY in their natural state, or at least not trying to impress you, which means no facade, easier to see their good/bad qualities, etc. edit: since some people still can't quite grasp this concept, let me clarify. I think of what Amos said in The Expanse about his friend Naomi, "she's like a sister to me. ...I'd still do her if she let me, though." And guess what Amos doesn't care about? Having sex w/ Naomi. B/c he knows he can get other women. If you can sincerely understand that mindset, then you're good to go. I am not saying a guy should be "friend zoned". Quite the opposite. If you are friend zoned, then either move on and get the girl out of your life, since she's NOT a true friend, OR accept you won't have sex with her and actually try to be a true friend and not care if you date or sleep with her. You have to be able to distinguish genuine platonic friends vs what you just think is a "friend". Bear in mind, "platonic" doesn't mean attraction isn't there, it just means your sexual desires are not controlling you or your intentions. I think y'all are thinking of just getting dates or getting laid. That's not what my comment was about. It was about actually having a good foundation for a good relationship, rather than just the shallow approach of what that first girl was stating. You can build quite a strong, genuine relationship - AS A FRIEND - with someone and then it may progress into something more, with an already genuine foundation built. Just don't hope/expect/plan for it to progress into something more. And if never progresses into something, oh well. There are plenty of other women out there and you still have a good friend. Maybe she can help you get other women. Cuz guess what? Just by being around women, other women automatically find you more attractive. And it seems that's probably what y'all would care about the most. But that genuine foundation, genuine connection is infinitely better than some shallow relationship built on sexual attraction only. Of course the traditional (or untraditional) courting route can still work. I never said it doesn't. But what % of toxic relationships, divorces, etc, start from shallow intentions? What % start from a strong foundation of friendship first? I'm pretty sure we can all safely guess which is higher.
Friends first in 99% of the cases if the guy even ends up hooking up with the girl always ends up him begging her to give him some and she always treats him like shit. Acquaintances is another story, but friends... lol
Agree, kalega. You're not only supposed to love your partner, you're supposed to like them too. Few couples are luckier than best friends who successfully made the transition to romance. They rarely break up, and frequently go the distance
I disagree, I just believe that you have to be yourself when you first meet someone, people are just straight up phoney, it's a reason why they it takes about three months to get to know somebody that's because we put on the fake persona to impress when you should actually be yourself, if I say what I really do for a living or lifestyle I might appear corny or he might be turned off, or in a man's case, let me speak louder than everyone else so I would appear to be Alpha then she might like me we are too afraid! And a lot of people to afraid to be their selves, because they fear rejection and that's 💯 and it's a damn shame.
I sometimes get really dejected/depressed about my chances of ever finding someone. But I keep on putting myself out there on Hinge and with God’s grace I might find that person someday.
Hinge is a solid app I think. The majority of people there are somewhat ok and very nice. Good quality of people, too. I am sure you will meet the right person just don’t rush and be yourself.
@@valley6824 I’d also say that a lot of guys think this way too. Just people in general I mean, the types that think the grass is greener on the other side.
The key is to stay away from dating apps and forget compatibility and similarities. I am nothing like my partner but that’s not a problem at all. We’ve been together for 8+ years and we only get closer every year. Just find someone who treats you nicely and start as friends. See how things go and if you’re both open to it, take it a step further. It may sound old-school but idc, it literally works so well.
I mostly agree with this. I did meet my gf thru ok Cupid. We have been together for 9 years, and she's my best friend. But i think it's having unwavering ground rules that has led to our success.
@@zuzannahardej2371 if we get married, i lose my insurance. I'm disabled and unable to work steadily enough to be dependable at a job. I can't lose my insurance, need to see a specialist often to handle my condition
That’s probably cause he finds you physically attractive. There’s no way in hell I’d date someone the complete opposite of me, I tried that and almost felt like strangling her.
Thank you old-timer haha. It really is bad out. What's really sad is there is an ever increasing amount of us young people who are basically ready to give it up for good altogether. My prediction is in the next 20 years you are going to see more Americans than ever in history alone and single in older age 50+. I think it's going to be the new phenomenon. Marriage will be at an almost non-existent state. Probably population decline. It's starting now with this single mother epidemic and social media age that's already been taking place the past 14 years IMO
@@brskywalker14 we're basically at that point right now. People are lonelier than ever today. Add mental illness to that list too because it's certainly a symptom of it
literally blocked a potential date this morning because she expected me to be on demand for the date, like she wouldn't even give me a days notice, she expected me to be ready within a few hours of her deciding that she wanted to meet, really what the fuck is wrong with people's ego these days, why can't you meet chill people anymore? everyone wants to win this 'power play'
That happened to me once. We had a date set for 2pm and she tells me at 1pm that she’s at a movie with her professor and can’t make it. Then at 5pm texts me and says she’s at Panera bread and she’ll be there for an hour and I can meet her there. Like I was supposed to drop everything I was doing and run to Panera to go meet her.
@@bunnym5617 Truth. Finding a lady in her mid 20s - early 30s who loves The Lord and wants Him first has become near impossible. Most of the "Christian" women I meet don't have a biblical worldview, so I've listened to God, stopped looking and trust that when the time is right, He will bring her and myself into each other's lives. Till then, salt and light
@@ramzilla873 I’ve had a similar experience where most Christian women I meet don’t really believe in the Bible or have a biblical worldview. It’s very sad. But I haven’t given up on dating, I just try not to waste a lot of time with online dating. But I’m still open to what God has for me. I’m very focused on writing my latest book, so God has been keeping me very busy. And I love it.
I never bothered to get in a relationship even though I wanted to because of both lazyness and because I've never been good at reading signals. Its been now 5 years that i choose to be single and no longer do i desire to be in a relationship. I'm all alone but you get used to it. Plus I got some friends i hang out with a few times in the year.
Social media makes you believe that everyone is beautiful and happy, cause who would post something about a bad moment, or a pic where you are not "good looking"?
@@raulsouza5866 its unwise to give such advises without even knowing where op is from, it depends very much on the location if you can approach someone you don't know on the street or in a bar, in some cultures its okay to do that but in many places its a no go
Social media is absolutely ruining dating. In my young years and when I was dating I met so many different people would go for lunch or coffee or dinner and see if we had some thing in common and go from there pretty well that worked pretty well. These younger people are very smart.
They kinda hit the mark spot on. If you know that there's always some other stranger you can get with then you're inclined to flee at the first red flag / speed bump that you encounter, so very few people are patient enough to form lasting meaningful relationships. It's a big dating app thing. Commitment is rare
Happens all the time lmfao. One minute they want you next minute they want another guy or even a girl and then it gets to a point where you realize your just wasting your own time by staying and trying to negotiate or reason things out.
Those are called cats. They think their pussy is good enough to pick any warm lap to sit on whenever THEY feel like it. Then they leave. Just to go rip the head of a mouse and bring it back to ya like they did something successful. But they are really narcissistic, energy murderers.
And the worst part is this: even if you personally choose not to use social media or online dating; choosing to get away from that stuff; even if you choose to meet people in person, those people you meet in person are using social media and online dating themselves. And thus, all of this still affects you even if you choose not to use it yourself. You can't escape from it.
@@TheFallenAngelWhoWas Sadly, the only winning move in this situation is not to play. Live for yourself, become utterly self-reliant and learn to be happy alone.
It's because most girls don't settle for avg guys. They want to date the perfect guy they dream about, or what they think is possible from social media.
When she said "ive been treated like shit," i felt that. Dating now is definitely a waste of time. Too many games, lies snd strings attached. I love being single after a 20 year relationship and im not looking back
So sad ☹️. Dating back in the day (70s / 80s) was so easy. I could be sitting on the bus, a single man would sit w/me, we’d strike up a conversation and then there was lunch date! I could on and on about dating. They picked me up at my door and dropped me off at my door. Beautiful! ❤
"Too much access to too many people", that girl was spot on. I'd add that it is an illusion of such access via social media's immediacy. It's not dating, it's eye shopping... a date is a test drive to find flaws at this point. In the end, this is sad for our species' mental health, but not so for social media companies.
We live in a society where people made their preferences their standard. If you don't fit this perfect shape they have in their head, even if you miss by let say 20% what they are looking for, you are automatically disqualified. It does not matter if you offer 80% of what they want, that 20% will mean it all.
I dont think its bad to have some standards as long as they are reasonable and realistic. However its true what you say how many people's standards are too high, and they expect someone to hit everything on a checklist.
Ah yes the check list. Had a few friends like that. Their dating pool / experience was so meager that when they actually find someone that meets almost all of their qualifications, they move the goal post and change their minds. In the end, women are their own worst enemy and don't know $hit about what they want.
@@Mannwhich The only justice is that they continue to do this until they're 35 and then the men that they passed on at 28 no longer want them. They then settle get depressed and cry, but it's just justice. They're not grateful for what they have.
I love talking to women on dating apps. They have so many interesting things to say like "haha", "okay", "lol", "so what are you looking for?", and my favorite, no response at all XD.
@@Maria-0017 i'm a man so i can be more biased, but in my personal experience a lot less number of men do that. Usually because they won't have a chanse with texting like this and quikly learn to be more "interesting"
@@levmurflatazara1168 It's exhausting trying to be entertaining on these apps... I deleted them and haven't missed those "thrilling" conversations! A man can literally be doing anything better with his time.
It's very true, that people can't handle the truth. Most people are afraid they'll ruffle a few feathers and then be disliked. They'd rather save face so they won't appear as the squeaky wheel. I'd much rather deal with someone who isn't afraid to speak up than to deal with a people pleaser
I don't even bother dating, never had any app. Seeing and hearing what people (especially men) go through, why should I join them? Learn on their mistakes rather than making the same.
They’re all right. That’s also why I’m stayin’ single, because a lot of people aren’t respectful of each others’ boundaries, morals, and wise values. If I talk to a girl, and she can’t do simple things like not treat me in a negative way, #SayGOODBYE. Don’t text me, talk to me in person. Trust yourself pretty much, because loyalty is dead in today’s times.
Pains me to say apps like Instagram are a cancer to society. You can't be in a relationship anymore without worrying if your partner is ever chatting to other people on social media or even just looking at what's out there. Relationships have basically become as superficial as they've ever been
@@CFloPhotography If you look at someone with lust in your eyes you have already committed adultery. Women are hypergamous by nature and are rewarded for cheating. They need to be kept on a short leash. I wouldn't even consider getting married without a pre-nup. It needs to be bullet-proof and completely one-sided with no clauses in there for if I cheat or do bad things. The burden needs to be 100% on her to prove herself at all times. Women would cringe at the idea because it keeps them accountable. If they planned to honor their marriage vows before God, they wouldn't mind being penalized in a court of law for not taking those vows seriously. They typical woman argument would be "Don't you trust me?" No, the real question is don't you trust yourself? Just sign the bullet-proof pre-nup already.
@@CFloPhotography And also make her sign that pre-nup, and then file it away downtown where she can't look at it or analyze it for the exact wording. You don't want her taking a copy to her divorce lawyer looking for loopholes. Make sure she gets blindsided by it at divorce court. Her divorce lawyer would not want to touch it and give her very low odds of success. If she ever starts asking about it and wants to see it "just out of curiosity" you will know what she's planning. No you can't see it. Don't even tell her where it;s being kept. It needs to remain a huge invisible bear trap if she wanders too far from the path.
We live in an era where people have too much access to too many people where our standards continually get higher, people would rather chase than to settle and commit and trust within these commitments is hard to find, this is why I'm so cynical when it comes to dating. I hold so little trust with people and have a nagging fear of getting cheated on, getting emotionally destroyed, feeling like I wasted so much time and effort on someone who just doesn't care and who looks at me as a "plan b" and think they can "do better". I'm 19 and currently in university by the way.
At 19 you're lucky to have realized and accepted the dystopian state of dating in the age of Tinder and Instagram. Hypergamy has never been worse, and sadly it's only downhill from here.
Or be alone. Which is what a lot of girls are doing. Don't settle for a decent/nice guy that approaches them. Rather just be by themselves waiting for the perfect guy.
you can find as soon as possible youve learn reality of life. live in the real world. love for real cry for real stand up over and over again. protect yourself but never get revenge.
I firmly believe that society doesn’t take chances when it comes to dating. They move to the next thing if the current one has one red flag. And it’s most likely not even a red flag, it’s probably a quality that doesn’t align with their fantastical desires. This is the truth, People aren’t perfect, and are too quick to judge. Have an open mind, and be optimistic. That being said, be careful and alert to danger. But if they are a person who is looking for something genuine like you, don’t cast them aside because of one quality. Get to know the whole person.
Females have 95% of the power in dating because they hold the power to sex and relationships because they have 300+ other guys trying so what does it mean to ditch this one whereas guys have 0 asking them out. Not to mention paying $0 for $2,500+ worth of dates, not to mention putting themselves out there 0 times to get rejected and get rejected 0 times... whereas the story for men is asking out 100 girls, 95 don't even bother responding, just ghost, 5 say yes, all 5 dates felt like they went great, but somehow they still get ghosted with 0 explanation not even a thanks for paying for me, 1 goes to a 2nd date, and then it felt like a great time but she ghosts too as you send a few text trying to figure out what's going on. She couldn't give a shit and just ignores it bc again 300 others are asking me out and 1 of those 300 has to be better, right? All the while the guy is spending $1,000+ on all this.... so you tell me who has it better or worst? The same people are on dating apps for 5 straight years, no relationships are actually formed from them. In my opinion it's because girls/women always think there's something better. This is exactly how dating works today as I explained.. I think girls/women need to be more grateful for what they have when it comes to dating, and the sheer amount of opportunities an average female gets over an average man. RUclips experiments, 2 average looking people. Female has 2,300+ likes, the man had 17. Look up dating app stats by sex. The only justice for men comes when they hit 32 or 33 and aren't desired by guys as much anymore.
The abundance mentality people get with online dating makes this possible. So someone who is otherwise perfect has a minor flaw? "There are plenty more fish in the sea; there must be someone out there who is perfect in every way, and so I'll keep looking."
Yes as long as they don't have kids. Don't ever settle for a single parent unless you yourself are a single parent. Being a single parent is an unforgivable deal breaker, no exceptions.
If you are a successful man, the dangers of marriage (let alone dating) are astronomical in today's political climate. It's hard to blame a man who has his ducks in a row for being extremely careful.
I feel like I can give that opinion. Nobody want compromise for a bit of inconvinience, narcissism is a key factor in general, playing games and out of touch expectations...
I can give my opinion being 5”3 male , and about to give some serious hot takes but I’m generally trying to date a white girl Bcz that’s my preference but most of them are taller than me, generally have high expectations when it comes to the guys they want to date especially since most girls need to feel safe with the man they choose and not be the laughing stock of their social group. It doesn’t matter how much confidence, how strong you are, how much a nice guy you are and how good you will treat her compared to the other guys that treat her like the shit, the reason why a girl doesn’t pick you is because she has to decide what’s “best for her” even if she doesn’t know what that is yet or never will know. She takes in a lot of factors like , can I show him off to my friends if they ask and not be made fun of? Will I be financial stable dating this person and can we make a living together and start a family or a retirement home? Will he protect me if I’m in danger ? Will be stand up for me against other men? Do I really like him or am I just going through a phase ? Everything I mentioned is like superficial scenarios which may or may not cross her mind but it’s tough dating when women have a lot of options to pick from, it’s been like this forever but social media allows women to hook up at any time when they need leave the current relationship. Girls are in high demand because they are more desirable and proof of this exists that men literally pay for feet picks and soft core content through only fans . This might be a rant but expectations men are supposed to live up to are way too high and right now it’s survival of the fittest and women looking to date well educated nice gene men. This is fine I get it I might even do the same thing if I was a women too so I can blame them for being picky . If anyone finds it tough to date, it shouldn’t be a reason to get down because life is too short to rely on someone else to be your happiness and you should pursue things that make you happy. I think everyone is born for a reason and being born to feel forced to find someone to date is not one of the reasons why you are born. It’s to experience life , enjoy it and maybe hope that when we die, we get to experience life again but maybe not in a sinful god forsaken planet next time.
To preface I think im slightly above average in looks, just because im an anxious dude who wouldnt get opportunities otherwise. I absolutely hate approaching women, there are a million new perceptions an worries I have. I don't want it to come off one way, but I also don't wanna look like a weirdo, or be accused of any petty stuff, ect. I don't want to be "woe is me", cuz my life is fine, but it feels like because im a man its more socially acceptable to tear me down in a rejection, then it would for me to be even remotely mean in the opposite senerio. Idk if any of that made sense, but tldr its less about online dating and more about the current social climate for me
30 years ago, when you tried to choose partner, you saw partner in real life, first. Partner behaviour, talking etc Today, you choose Photoshop picture on dating application. So you really don't know who you choose.
Here is my example: When we entered high school, we started looking at girls, shyly. We had favorite one, basing on our first impression, in most cases - appearance. But after first year of scool, after we we got to know each other much better, our prefferences totally changed. Other girls become our favorite one, basing on character. It means that you need some time - in real life - to know other person. Dating applications offer you first impression only, and some statistics.
@Krzysztof D also dating apps give women a very masculine logical way of choosing men (height, image, bio) with noone to shame her for ghosting etc. I got mine via friend reference where I made her laugh a lot despite me being short and she couldn't have ghosted me easily too. Plus the interests, personality, beliefs are very similar to my friend group. Apps just stand no chance to IRL strategies for compatibility.
This is so true holy. I can think about situations where the couple has some sort of issue (personally have seen testimony and a couple reddit post and threads) and the surrounding friend group would just suggest breaking up, without even the consideration to try pushing through the obstacle or finding a solution
@@nomg563 I mean if people wanna do that stuff fine. That’s whatever. Just know you gotta act appropriately for when time comes for a real relationship & marriage. If you single do your single stuff but the moment you want a relationship you gotta move a certain way.
Tinder will even have a notification pop up like “looking for a fresh face?” It’s like, what if I am fine with who I’m with but now that I’m being prompted, maybe I’m questioning myself.. can I do better? Hm, might as well swipe a bit and see. It’s malicious. They don’t encourage settling down with someone because they lose business. They encourage people to swipe as much as possible. It’s screwed up.
The one girl who said that thing about red flags, she is spot on, it’s a huge problem for people, not even red flags necessarily just things that might irritate them, little things they don’t want to deal with. One sign of trouble and they are tuned right off. There’s no freaking loyalty anymore. No willingness to commit, to try, to make things work. People are terrified or unwilling to commit or both.
One reason is the use of the word "commit". I've done copywriting work and words are powerful. THAT word carries a lot of negative associations with it. People "commit" suicide. They "commit" arson. They "commit" treason. They "commit" adultry. They "commit" murder or a crime. They have themselves or are "committed" to an insane asylum. THAT word needs to be changed to something else in order to conjur better associations in a persons mind and then the resistance wouldn't be nearly as strong.
Why would anyone want to commit to a person they barely know, though? The real problem is that people who meet via dating apps don't get to spend some time together before actually going on a date imho.
My husband and I met in 8th grade and have been married over 20 years. We tell each other all the time that we are so glad we don’t have to date! It just looks like a lot of work and there are so many toxic people out there who mask their true colors. I’ve had acquaintances only reveal their bad side after a year or so and that was hurtful, I couldn’t imagine my partner. I really hope we grow old together, long and healthy lives❤
So beautiful 😍 Same.. I met my (then boyfriend) and (now) husband as a teenager. He’s my best friend! He makes me laugh so much! We will have been married 18 years this year
So many young people on this video are in for the shock of their lives once they hit 40. I honestly think youngsters today believe that they are going to live forever and remain forever young. Nothing but sad endings on the horizon unless you rapidly start to appreciate what you have while it’s standing in front of you and life is short. Whatever time we get is just luck ☘️
True. A lot of people think of a relationship for the now & as far as they plan is the prime of adult hood. Rarely do people actually deeply plan or think about making it to old age & the amount of effort & work it takes to get there & handle it when you arrived.
I love the way you worded this. It is very true, Us young ones take our early 20s for granted, and start to reflect on all our bad decisions later on once all the depression and regret starts to kick in
@@addy3164 I’m 42 now and I’m speaking from experience. I’m lucky enough to have a lovely lady in my life but God I made every poor decision a young man could make. I got lucky and got away with poor decision making but not every man or woman will. I’m grateful for everything but I don’t want youngsters to make the same mistakes I did. Good people are very hard to come by and loyalty these days is stardust my friend.
@@IcedOutkrs They are constantly on the lookout for something better. In truth females are actually the worst for this but there are still some decent, traditional women out there it just takes longer now for men to find them. Men aren’t saints either though so in a way you can’t fully blame women for wanting better. We only live once at the end of the day.
Social media is changing every thing. In some cases like relationships, it is literally destroying intimacy and affection and stability. People always look for something more in terms of appearance and body and attraction while unfortunately ignore the personality and soul of whome they are in relationship.
In my humble opinion... It's not dating that is hard rather than people's attitude towards other people in dating. Don't look for the perfect person. Build yourself to being that perfect person for yourself and in time you'll meet someone right for you 💯
I’ve noticed it’s mainly us men commenting / thinking this exact thing. Funny how not many women feel this way. I feel like they think they deserve a perfect man from the moment they start having romantic feelings, without offering much in return. It is primarily women looking for the perfect partner who has it all, which is why 20% or less of guys are getting most of the ladies.
@@hazard9482 There’s a woman out there whose perfect idea of a guy is YOU. Trust me. I’m not the most attractive or the richest or whatever, but all of the he girls I’ve dated have had one thing common: they chose to be with me. That gives me hope for the future.
All the women know they have an unlimited options online, therefore they only go for the 1 percent of guys… and then the 1 percent of guys know they have all options, so they know they know they can do whatever they want hence the women “being treated like shit” like the girl in the clip said. Rinse and repeat
To be fair... a lot of women prefer the guy that treats them like shit. I dont know what it is, but they always gravitate towards them. I've known plenty of beautiful girls who are smart, honest and kind hearted, and without failure will walk past 2-3 genuine guys and go straight for the one who everyone knows has a history of liying and cheating. Its like they have a voice in their head thats telling them "he won't do that to me" or "I can fix him".
@@nixsis5281 That's because of "you should never hit a wahman" narrative. To not get hit when you do something wrong is to be your own moral compass. To be your own moral compass is to be accountable for your actions. To avoid being accountable for your own actions is to not be your own moral compass. Therefore, "hit me, you bad boy, you! Because I'm a piece of sh*t who do not wish to be held accountable for my actions AND afterwards, I can always blame you." Say hello to women's "liberation."
So true!! People see a lot.. exposed to a lot and everyone just keeps looking for better better better!!!! Thats not how a relationship is going to work.. people as so much access to so many people so they don't try to fix the relationship issues.. don't try to fix their own issues instead one red flag and they go search for someone else!! You need to make it work at least for sometime you need to give it few chances.. its not that everytime something goes wrong you go and look fo someone else!! You can't keep comparing your gf/bf with others.. you need to fix things.. you need to apologise.. you need to giveup your ego for the sake of that person you say you truly love! Love is hard. You need to give lots of sacrifices ❤
It's hit or miss when you start off as friends usually they don't want to give that friendship up so they give you the ultimatum either we keep the friendship or you shoot your shot and risk ruining the relationship yall already had in my opinion it's worthless
Sorta. She’s a plain Jane with a decent heart, personality-character, mind, body, et al…… Yet you gotta relax with your exaltations of “her being” as if you truly know her intimately.
The problem is social media. Almost everybody wants to be a relationship expert tells you 10 tips to be a man that's worth dating a woman That's worth being in a relationship with, red flags, deal breakers etc. Also couples flaunting shopping outings, fancy dinners, exotic trips. These things really make individuals unsatisfied with what they have. Forget compatibility, compromise etc. It's just sad.
At the end of the day from talking to younger family and acquaintances it strikes me from what they have told me about dating that nobody knows very much, nobody has much money and can never pay their way and most people have virtually nothing to offer. Married blissfully since 85 myself ( forty years next year).
The hardest part is learning why someone is dating you. I’ve known people that were looking for a spouse and anyone agreeable enough would do. Some are just trying to prove they can do a relationship after a breakup or divorce. Others have loved someone before and wont let themselves feel that way again. Some just don’t want to be alone. People can date for whatever reasons they want, but the other person has a right to be loved in the way they want. Mismatched intentions and someone not knowing what they want will erode a relationship that shouldn’t have started anyway.
It’s not just that, but it says a lot about their values. So even when they get into a relationship it doesn’t last. So they just have failed relationships.
This is what I've been thinking about lately and it's so true. Let's say you go to a party someday and a girl shows you some interest and she even gives you her number and she flirts with you. That all goes to the trash because 1 day later she gonna see 200 dudes on her Instagram page and then forget about you and ghost you.
Being in a relationship now compared to back then is so difficult! A guy could literally go up to a girl and try and introduce himself to her and meet her and see if he could ask her out and get her number, but some girls, from my experience, look like they get scared when a guy approaches them and runs away like the guy is going to kidnap her of something. You can't be paranoid and believe everything you see on social media now a days. I get it. They are cautious and it could be intimidating for a stranger to come up at them at times, but it's not like they are trying to make it weird or creepy in any way. They are literally just trying to get to know you and ultimately ask you out on a date. I don't see any harm in that.
I luckily found my wife to be just before this new world of dating exploded back in 2014. But I know the feeling of people thinking there might be more if they hold off. Not with my fiancee. She's amazing and the reason we work is because we took the time to get to know each other and, just as important, build our own memories and experiences together. But I get that exact feeling of doubt, uncertainty and paralysing inaction when it comes to my work and career. There are so many potential paths in life these days it's hard to feel like you are on the right one when you know you could be trying something else. If that's how dating feels to younger people I totally get it.
@@chuchaqui1000 i doubt it. She doesn't go for surface shite like that. She wants a man who loves and cares for her. Supports her in life's challenges. Has stupid fun with her. Makes her laugh. Wants to marry her and not burden her with kids. Wants to travel together like crazy hobos. Someone who shares 8 1/2 yeara of lifes trails together. Who isn't social media obsessed. Or looks obsessed. I'm sorry if someone hurt you. But sounds like it wasn't right to begin with. Me and my woman. We are right for each other. All this social media look at me shite is not even on our radar. We are good friends happy to come home to each other every day, kiss and cuddle, talk about our day, plan our dreams and not spend a moment doubting why we are together. It's not so hard when you find the right person.
To me as a millennial, the whole life feels like that. Your partner is not stable, your place of living is not stable, your job is not stable. Get a good education, the world is open for you was the rhetoric of my boomer parents generation. Well, our generation did, some do pretty good for themselves, but also a good portion does not. It does get frustrating. My sisters are doing much better than me, getting their own homes and families while I still live like a bachelor and changed careers. Maybe I am the problem but when looking at statistics about job satisfaction, financial stability and singles, we millenials are not fairing too good. Maybe not as bad as Gen z but also not as good as the generations before us. Idk, I do not give a fucj anymore, I do not plan, I have internally given up and just adjust to the situation. I do not really see me with a home or family in the next 15 years which is kinda sad but I also slipped in the whole doomer mindset of idgaf
@Kevtb87 I'm glad to hear that, I had a relationship exactly to how you describe yours before. And it was over as soon as she got on social media, we were both against it but then she begged me to let her go on it since all her friends had it. And that's all it took to end things shortly after
Social media makes things so much more difficult. People also rely on that so much now, when before your only option was the old fashioned way. Actually having real conversations with people, to their face, not through a screen. People also have such high expectations. It’s exhausting trying to put myself out there and date, so now I’m just focused on me, myself, and I.
@@se2664 Agreed. I got tired of it and started working out, eating healthier, and futhering my career. And I’m doing well, single but now it’s by choice lol. I tried and failed to work out before as a way to make myself more presentable or whatever, now I do it for me. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Too easy of an answer I think. There's other factors to take into account. One being that the majority of the occidental population now lives in cities and can afford a lifestyle that doesn't involve any sense of community. You can go back into your place and disappear. Live your life doing X job, eat, sleep without anyone noticing anything or checking on you. Hence why social media as so much attention, people don't get any from real life.
Social media is part of the beast system, it’s not going anywhere. Everything we see happening is going according to plan and it’ll only get worse from here on out.
I do agree that dating now is super tough. I've had more than a few boyfriends in my life so far but most either didn't respect certain aspects of me or they didn't want commitment. As a 19 Year old it sucks being told by every adult you meet that boy your age aren't looking for commitment like they used to. It takes away the fear that I was the one who did something wrong but it still hurts that when they leave I know its probably because they're tired of me and have found better. They only look for better not actual love, or they're hoping to find love FROM someone better. I've kinda given up on trying to convince the men dating me to stay with me. If they want to leave they can go, I'm not going to fight for someone who doesn't appreciate me. Do I know there are better people than me out there? Yes, absolutely. But I will not let that demish the fact that I know I am worthy of love and that I know I am a good partner. I pride myself on being open minded, a good communicator, empathetic, and compassionate. If the boys/men I have been with so far couldn't see that then love was not what they were truly looking for.
Been in a happy relationship since high school, been going on for 7 years. No drama, no trouble, nothing. We kept things simple, direct in our communication, and had realistic standards and expectations. Always had people throughout my life tell me or her “you could do better” “it’s just a high school sweetheart” “you need to try out different relationships” and they have all ended up leaving or stuck in toxic relationships, cycles of cheating, or straight up living a life of loneliness due to unrealistically high standards. Everyone is absolutely correct in this video. Grass is always greener on the other side, and people don’t even know what they have or want and social media has programmed us to believe perfection is the norm. Stop it people. Take a step back and judge yourself for once. Reflect. Ask yourself, “am I doing things right?”
I don't even try anymore as well. I just go to work, spend time with family, stay home, listen to music and hang out with two of my close Circle of Friends whenever we want to. I also came to the conclusion that I am a problem as well and I just have a lot of baggage. I realized I am more of a liability than an asset. So the only way I can stop myself from digging a bigger hole is to stop dating altogether. At least I can admit it.
Answer: The illusion and paradox of choice have majority of people thinking they can always find better partners. The women thinking they can always do better or that they will eventually find a super tall, hot, rich guy and men thinking they will eventually find a super attractive woman that isn't also superficial.
Relationships are like lifeboats on the Titanic; not everyone is meant to get into one. Once I accepted this for myself, my life substantially improved.
Why is this kinda depressing. And its not about just finding a relationship but that special connection shared only with that person. Yes, that is hard to find.
I always feel that one of the biggest issues is the fact that it's expected in the dating game to *not* be upfront with your intentions. It's so ingrained in dating culture that some people even find it off putting and unattractive when someone clearly defines what their intentions are without "playing the game". And that's for understandable reasons mind you. Flirting basically requires some level of mystery around the intentions of both parties, and often that mystery can be really fun/exciting. Unfortunately, it also creates a situation in which people now have to do more guess work when judging people's character, and it turns out most people really suck at reading other people. And even more than that, the ability to play the game well seems to correlate with the ability to lie well. After all, lies are often used by people to curate other people's perception of them. That's how you end up with people (both men and women) saying "I've had bad luck dating, I always seem to choose people that don't treat me well." They've fallen victim to someone that is very good at hiding their red flags behind "game". Basically, there's something to be said about people that are upfront. They might seem more intense sometimes because you cant hide feelings behind ambiguity with them, but you also know more about what you're getting from the start
Exactly. Even if you decide by yourself you’re not playing their game and you tell straight up what you want, the other party STILL wants to mess with you. Why? Why waste your time with someone who already told you what they want and you clearly don’t? As a woman, it really pissed me off when I would tell men I was looking to date for marriage and they still wanted to bed me. They come with that ridiculous excuse of “I need to know if we have chemistry before we date”, like I’m still in high school. Boy, bye. You are a f**k boy, now get out of my face. I didn’t waste time with those guys. I learned to quickly just block. There’s no talking to them. You just learn to move on.
Last woman nailed it. You’re too busy looking for “better” instead of appreciating what’s right in front of you.
Always gon be a bi**h that's bladder out there on the tours, but you ain't never gon be happy till you love yours
Look up the "Husband Store" joke.(it's not quite a joke) basically the gist of the joke is that a building contains men who would be perfect for each women who shopped at the store. There is guaranteed to be "a" man on one of the floors that is absolutely what she would want. She finds a great guy on like floor 3 or 4. But then continues on up with the false assumption that if there are still more floors , the guys MUST get better??!?!
The punchline is that the last floor is nothing but a sign that says "this floor exists only to prove women are never satisfied "
Facts
No one knows loyalty, they’re always looking for the next best thing
Which will result in a never ending run/cycle
I'm willing to bet my life shes still single to this day lmfao
Women can't appreciate anything... if it ain't giving her that *TiNGLE$* then it ain't worth her time.
Social media is absolutely destroying this world.
You are using it the wrong way 😉
Totally agree. Wish social media never existed.
Agreed
It already did
Absolutely correct!
Social media has brought out the worst out of most humans. Majority of folks are toxic with too much expectations
The image of the perfect fictional match existing within reach means women pile themselves onto a tiny minority of men, who with a wealth of choices isn’t compelled to settle on one. This results in dissatisfaction and lonliness all around.
Dating app data clearly indicates this overconcentration of sexual attention, which if not tempered is going to spiral into a never-ending race of male aggression and female defensiveness seen throughout other animal species.
@JanBanJoovi-olqv
You're right. We should do something about it.
Should we do something about it?
We should do something about it.
Should we do something about it?
Lol only women get their egos inflated, males only the worst end of the stick
Yet our globalist leaders expect us to go to war to fight to defend this crap. Yeah right...
You mean women.
I don't even try anymore. I just go to work, paint, work out, and sleep.
Literally I do the same😂😂, there is a saying of my people that says "better to be alone than with bad company", can't be more true than nowadays cheers.
@@yordan826 cheers fam
Same
Welcome to my world
why women deserve less
Everyone is trying to "find" the right person instead of trying to "be" the right person, and that is the problem with the dating scene and society in general.
Yessssss
In general, we attract what we are. As men, we can complain or be better. I would rather try and be better with hopes of finding someone. But it's frustrating at the same time.
@ericcarson342 You never try and get better in hopes of obtaining somebody. You get better so you don't need anybody. Then everyone for you will be naturally drawn to you.
@Malik Invictus Totally agree with your point about your vibe attracting your tribe, however, people do need people. There's nothing shameful in that, it's how we were made. It's human. You improve yourself to be your best self so that you have something wonderful to offer the world. That's what love is, it's to give of yourself.
I think it's the antithesis of and antidote to the soulless, selfish, superficial instant gratification world we live in now. Everyone's looking at what they can get from someone else instead of what they can offer.
@@FreePalestine123-b1x It is the antithesis.
The problem is that social media promote "perfect" people that actually don't exist in real life. And social media users think that's the normality.
100%
Exactly.
That and it takes away the effort of keeping in contact/getting to know someone
💯💯💯
And movies too.
"Too much access to too much people". Girl at the end hit the damn nail on the head.
That's so fucking dumb bro I'm sry. Imagine saying someone's food taste is too pickey because they've had too much access to good food as opposed to a lifetime of eating slop and just being happy with the premium slop.
@@TheNewblade1 That's a poor analogy, food versus human beings. Cool story though, bro. 👍🏽
It amazes me how quick humankind rejects the natural!
She will say that, but later on that very evening most likely go on her Instagram and swipe on Tinder
why women deserve less
Hard to date in a world where adults still behave like children
That's actually good. 😄😄😄
@@subhamdaslovesraptor99 Kya pfp hai woh Bhai? Angrezo ka gulam hai kya?
@@D402S You should better practice speaking in English, you are a bastard!!
Behave like children cool tho 😎
They behave like children and point out that you u are the child while you realise that u are the actual adult 😂
“Too much access to too many people.” Nailed it
No one likes the idea of having fewer options, but when you’re grounded by having a smaller subset around you, you’re naturally more “realistic”
Too many choices . . makes choosing difficult
Humans aren’t good with having many options, it causes paralysis…
Women moment
"You won't miss your water until your well runs dry "
I feel like most people know this, but innately they’re also the same people who commit the said offense.
Yup the woman that says she’d rather date 5 guys than deal w 1 red flag lol. She for the streets. On top of that she’s the worst looking one of the bunch. Incredible.
Bingo
Humans be bewildering..
Have you guys heard of the #ConsciousPlanet movement before? Also #Innerengineering ♡
You might be interested
Dating nowadays in 2023 is way harder for “Man” not women. Nowadays most women even average looking chicks can get bunch of options based on dating apps and social media.
90% of women nowadays only chasing the top 10% of best looking men.
That's why I stay away from social media and just try to meet people the old fashioned way. IN PERSON.
But how? And where? You try to approach someone in public and they immediate go into defense mode.
@@mandaloin how they did it 50 years ago ? 😊 no Damn dating apps and so on.. Cuz today ppl have confidence online and in real life they,re different. So better you see this person in real life. It’s confident to talk to the person you r interested to. Nothing is going to happen. It’s confident af…
Totally agree. I tried online dating once and it one felt very artificial, and two the girls I found on there were just crap. All the good women I've met have been through in person.
@@andrewfreiji4647 You see 😊 I never tried it but as a woman it’s also not easy there.. I’m shock how girls present themselves.. It’s not the reality at all.. But if you meet the person in real life, you directly see how they act, how they talk, how they treat you.. Ppl need to wake up
You weed a lot of people out simply by requesting meeting in person right after connecting with them on social media. Most simply want the free attention.
"Always looking for better, better, better" Exactly right.
Romantic relationships are not a beautiful thing. Romance causes a lot of problems in this world. Life is a lot better without romance than it is with it. Romantic love is not special at all, and I think that the romantic type of love isn't real.
More than half of romantic relationships end in a breakup/divorce. Romantic relationships are objectively very prone to failure. And most couples who are still together are usually not happy being together.
Also, there are a lot of toxic romantic relationships. Like an example is that abuse happens a lot in romantic relationships.
This world would be a much better place if there was no romance. Everything would be much better if everyone stopped dating and getting married. Romance is a bad thing.
“Best is around the corner” is the worst part when ppl don’t realize that what they have is the best already!!!
Not necessarily. Best is always what you have already? I doubt the validity of this statement.
There will always be better than what you have.In looks,money,status etc..Whether one finds it that's a whole different story.
Yes bur having more don't neccessary make you happier. Always looking for better and perfection is the highway to perpetual insatisfaction and depression.
@@Berk1988a I doubt the validity of your intelligence.
@@Berk1988a They didn’t say always
"Everyone just keeps looking for better, better, better, better!!!" That lady said good stuff
Thats with apps
and she probably does the same herself lol
@@wavyFran lmao, yeah entirely women and maybe the top 4 percent of men
@@johnfisher8401Because she can, since she has probably an unlimited stream of free male attention just for being alive. If men keep sinking their standards into the basement, it's just men's fault.
It's not that they look for better, they (F) look for the "hot and ready soup", so they can put zero effort.
Narcissism is the sin of this age. Relationships almost always go sour because someone got selfish.
Hidden agendas are the worst!
Couldn’t have said it better. More people are choosing solitude over relationships/ dating because this new age society promotes and rewards instant gratification and selfishness which is equivalent to rewarding narcissism. With social media being the main contributor it brings out the ugliest side of human beings and makes the ugly ones even uglier. Love and loyalty is dead, infidelity and the chasing of desired status quos took over.
Lots of sin in this age.
More like there out there to manipulate you with lies and commitment and for you to to be there retirement plan and ATm
Selfishness is good, you want that person to be exclusively with yourself, not 10 others behind your back
I deleted 90% of social media and life has been good. Meeting people in person organically is the way to go
Same
We need more ppl like u 😊
You're on social media right now
I absolutely believe in person is better. But the problem is no one ever leaves their house. So how do you meet people?
@@scottverge938good point, waiting an answer
You can never find a perfect relationship. You have to build one up with someone you're willing to accept the flaws of. Everyone's stuck in the crush phase.
Exactly right.
Agreed
Exactly the reason why my ex left me 1.5. months ago. She wants everything to be perfect and that wasn’t and will never be… She will learn it with her next boyfriend, sadly I had to be her learning object. Because I was happy and accepted her flaws….
@@mr.genatix-hardstyleandtra800 Sorry to hear that. People are stuck looking for happiness in the wrong places, not realizing it's their perception and not necessarily outside objects. I hope things work out for you.
Men don't want a relationship with women any more. You will soon realise this when they ask for sex but not how your day was. When women form harems for the men out of their league whom they desire this is what happens.
I would like to see a mass cultural rejection of online dating and go back to meeting in real life.
OR, meeting in online circles that revolve around a shared hobby so you know you have something real in common before meeting them.
Its' happening
@@rds6129creep
@@rds6129how long have you two been together and why aren't you married with kids yet?
That will never happen as people are far too lazy these days .. oh and socially awkward lol
People have forgotten how to be human beings……
all these people being interviewed sound like SIMS
😂😂😂
o wome arw choosig pick up artists ad abusive men over real me so we all now have to learn pick up and be awful peopel to get women, its not men its womens sexuality thats the problem, its toxic af !
Fr we are slowly becoming actual npcs
They took away all the clubs and things to do that people used to do by atomization and deracination sorry ya I used the scary word. It is what it is. Also plenty of hate for native born Americans coming out of foreign controlled activities.
Deleted my social media and my mental health has gone straight up
Step 1 delete social media if it's not related to your career.
Amen
Nah trolling people is too fun
@@jakeplumber1373 You know poor mental health is a real thing right? Especially when promoted by online bullies such as yourself right?
What's step 2? Step 1 doesn't apply to me and I'm still single. Or do you mean delete _all_ social media? That sounds like we need a team.
It is related to my career 🐝
The first girl was spitting facts. Connecting with someone as a friend before getting into a relationship is so much more gratifying.
my last gf , we were friends for 1 yr before official together , and we only lasted 4 months, i thought that maybe becoming friends is maybe easier before dating n have friendship as u go.
B.S. best s*** don't work be authentic
No this is terrible. This only works if you were friends since childhood.
If you’re the friend waiting to date then you’re the backup, the safe option
You don’t need to be friends to find someone sexually attractive.
While your "friends" with her, another, better guy skips the line and is already "connecting" with her.
Dating is almost like a job interview.
Almost? It is job interview. BUT ! YOU must be an employer
It's actually worse than a job interview since two people expect way too much out of each other where it's so unrealistic and just plain stupid pure retardation that I'm glad I realized today about dating you want to find a date just stop trying to find the right person and be the right person which is the greatest reality check I ever gone to improve my chances and the other thing is that you must off as friends with a girl in order for a relationship to grow and start people basically just forgotten how easy it was now sadly they just made it so much more harder than it actually has to be it's also thanks to dating online apps that are horrible especially when you find a match but you have zero chemistry especially when that person claims to be who they're not to be furthermore reasons why online dating should just be banned people need to just grow balls and meet each other in real life again like how it was so true love can start again.
@@johnyaxon__cope, only women are the employers because they hold all the power in dating and they could leave you in the blink of an eye with another guy waiting on them 🤡
For men
@@O_Canada men we don't know what we did🤷
Dating isn’t harder, but finding the right person to date has become.
Finding an individual that is not constantly on social media and trying to prove to others their life, Partner etc.. is the best, is hard.
I think nowadays it’s much easier to approach someone, because of social media everyone is only matching up online and don’t even straight up ask someone on a date face to face.
I‘m not that much on social media which let’s me see so much more of life.
Finding someone who doesn’t hide behind a social media mask and tries to prove something to people, with money they don’t have to people that don’t care is hard.
Dating isn’t harder but finding the real faces of people has become harder.
Plus the environment is so diverse and alienating IMHO
One of the issues I’ve found with dating in this day and age is that we’re all so easily disposable. You can be amazing in almost every single category, but people will zone in on ONE small imperfection and then ghost you for the next best thing without a second thought. Aside from that, there’s a very prevalent hook-up culture where people want the benefits of a relationship without actually having to commit to anyone… which makes it convenient for someone to be seeing multiple people all at once. I don’t have anything against those who prefer to live a more casual lifestyle, but it’s difficult for people like me who are naturally monogamous to find someone who’s on the same wavelength.
I feel the same
The struggle is real, especially for demisexual people. I wonder if there's an app/website for demi people, that'd be awesome.
It's ridiculous. If I had the standards of these people I would've never found the love of my life. I would've I just skipped over them because they weren't a 9/10 or whatever. You're never gonna find someone who doesn't have some kind of problem with them. You have to learn to compromise.
Yup. They find the black dot on the white canvas and then make a whole character judgment without even really knowing you. Zero loyalty and consistency nowadays
The issue I often see with girls these days is that they are all fn depressed and want more of a personal monkey\clown rather then boyfriend. They just look for someone to entertain them 24/7, and after six months they go "is everything a joke to you?" when relationship should move to next level.
Unreasonable and unrealistic expectations has become gen Z's biggest problem.
Gen z??? I’m millennial and the girls my age think the same way lol
@@inneedofgreen7102 bro i got ghosted by a chick 5 times before I even knew what was happening. Everybody always preached women were our better half. Boy is that a gd lie! I heard shes very overweight now so that always makes me laugh
@@BatmanBeyondBelief lmao it’s not that it’s a lie, a good woman will build a great man. It’s just rare these days, especially w social media making people think perfection is the only option, give it time brother, you gotta build yourself up from the ashes, create value in yourself and it will attract the right people
They all want to seem while being empty a f, and all communications they have is sorta shoulder touch. Billions of ppl at expense.
It’s not just gen z it’s started with millennials
The "friends first", if genuine, or at least strong acquaintances first is really the best approach. You get to see someone USUALLY in their natural state, or at least not trying to impress you, which means no facade, easier to see their good/bad qualities, etc.
edit: since some people still can't quite grasp this concept, let me clarify.
I think of what Amos said in The Expanse about his friend Naomi, "she's like a sister to me. ...I'd still do her if she let me, though." And guess what Amos doesn't care about? Having sex w/ Naomi. B/c he knows he can get other women. If you can sincerely understand that mindset, then you're good to go.
I am not saying a guy should be "friend zoned". Quite the opposite. If you are friend zoned, then either move on and get the girl out of your life, since she's NOT a true friend, OR accept you won't have sex with her and actually try to be a true friend and not care if you date or sleep with her. You have to be able to distinguish genuine platonic friends vs what you just think is a "friend". Bear in mind, "platonic" doesn't mean attraction isn't there, it just means your sexual desires are not controlling you or your intentions.
I think y'all are thinking of just getting dates or getting laid. That's not what my comment was about. It was about actually having a good foundation for a good relationship, rather than just the shallow approach of what that first girl was stating. You can build quite a strong, genuine relationship - AS A FRIEND - with someone and then it may progress into something more, with an already genuine foundation built. Just don't hope/expect/plan for it to progress into something more. And if never progresses into something, oh well. There are plenty of other women out there and you still have a good friend. Maybe she can help you get other women. Cuz guess what? Just by being around women, other women automatically find you more attractive. And it seems that's probably what y'all would care about the most.
But that genuine foundation, genuine connection is infinitely better than some shallow relationship built on sexual attraction only. Of course the traditional (or untraditional) courting route can still work. I never said it doesn't. But what % of toxic relationships, divorces, etc, start from shallow intentions? What % start from a strong foundation of friendship first? I'm pretty sure we can all safely guess which is higher.
Friends first in 99% of the cases if the guy even ends up hooking up with the girl always ends up him begging her to give him some and she always treats him like shit. Acquaintances is another story, but friends... lol
@@stevanivkovic684No one owes you sex
Agree, kalega. You're not only supposed to love your partner, you're supposed to like them too. Few couples are luckier than best friends who successfully made the transition to romance. They rarely break up, and frequently go the distance
I disagree, I just believe that you have to be yourself when you first meet someone, people are just straight up phoney, it's a reason why they it takes about three months to get to know somebody that's because we put on the fake persona to impress when you should actually be yourself, if I say what I really do for a living or lifestyle I might appear corny or he might be turned off, or in a man's case, let me speak louder than everyone else so I would appear to be Alpha then she might like me we are too afraid! And a lot of people to afraid to be their selves, because they fear rejection and that's 💯 and it's a damn shame.
Friendzone percentage:
I sometimes get really dejected/depressed about my chances of ever finding someone. But I keep on putting myself out there on Hinge and with God’s grace I might find that person someday.
Hinge is a solid app I think. The majority of people there are somewhat ok and very nice. Good quality of people, too. I am sure you will meet the right person just don’t rush and be yourself.
Same here. Just started using apps again but so far there’s shit for women that are actually real. mainly trying to find friendship in a woman.
“You don’t need to be with one person when you can be with five.”
Jesus, perfect example of what’s wrong with dating.
How every girl at my school thinks. So sad
@@thelegacyofgaming2928 how the majority of girls around the world think*. There fixed it for ya’.
Hm maybe thats when people dont know what they are searching for.
@@valley6824 I’d also say that a lot of guys think this way too. Just people in general I mean, the types that think the grass is greener on the other side.
@@crazycrashgirlrx7423 The problem is that when they find out what they're searching for, they're no longer wanted.
If you are always trying to trade up in the end you will end up with nothing.
Only females have EVER done this. Has nothing to do with online dating. Although it has exacerbated it.
@@maxhatush5918 only females ? Y’all hold men with no accountability.
@@maxhatush5918 yet we see men do this all the time, men get rich and leave their old gf for hot younger one often
@@maxhatush5918 there is even much much higher chance of men doing this. Y’all twisting reality
@@maxhatush5918 so men don’t leave their wife for younger ones ? Not once ? The lies men tell is endless
The key is to stay away from dating apps and forget compatibility and similarities. I am nothing like my partner but that’s not a problem at all. We’ve been together for 8+ years and we only get closer every year. Just find someone who treats you nicely and start as friends. See how things go and if you’re both open to it, take it a step further. It may sound old-school but idc, it literally works so well.
I mostly agree with this. I did meet my gf thru ok Cupid. We have been together for 9 years, and she's my best friend. But i think it's having unwavering ground rules that has led to our success.
who asked?
@@TingTingalingywhy not wife then? After 9 years? Why wait so long
@@zuzannahardej2371 if we get married, i lose my insurance. I'm disabled and unable to work steadily enough to be dependable at a job. I can't lose my insurance, need to see a specialist often to handle my condition
That’s probably cause he finds you physically attractive. There’s no way in hell I’d date someone the complete opposite of me, I tried that and almost felt like strangling her.
If a beautiful woman is treated like shit *She's definitely picking the wrong guys😅
Or maybe all men are the wrong guys and it's their fault?
@@tenacioustrees.8737 They never come to this conclusion when this is usually the right one.
@catherinemontgomery90 Yes. They need to stop blaming women and take a look inside themselves
@@tenacioustrees.8737no if you've come to the conclusion that half the population is wrong and you're right you are definitely the problem
@@tenacioustrees.8737 Or..... just maybe.... women could not chase the top 10% of men and then blame it on all men when it flops
I'm 55 and really feel for the young people today. Dating was so simple in the 80s and 90s. It really was.
IT WAS THE BEST LIFESTYLE OF A LIFETIME THE 80-90s PHENOMENAL.
Thank you old-timer haha. It really is bad out. What's really sad is there is an ever increasing amount of us young people who are basically ready to give it up for good altogether. My prediction is in the next 20 years you are going to see more Americans than ever in history alone and single in older age 50+. I think it's going to be the new phenomenon. Marriage will be at an almost non-existent state. Probably population decline. It's starting now with this single mother epidemic and social media age that's already been taking place the past 14 years IMO
No, it wasn't. Hooking up was easy. Dating was a nightmare. Most people are not compatible.
@@PokrPro21loneliness is going to be the biggest ‘disease’ in the future.
@@brskywalker14 we're basically at that point right now. People are lonelier than ever today. Add mental illness to that list too because it's certainly a symptom of it
literally blocked a potential date this morning because she expected me to be on demand for the date, like she wouldn't even give me a days notice, she expected me to be ready within a few hours of her deciding that she wanted to meet, really what the fuck is wrong with people's ego these days, why can't you meet chill people anymore? everyone wants to win this 'power play'
It's because they let women believe that they are equal to men. That's why the power play goes to their heads.
She’s wanted to use you for something either lunch, drugs alcohol , o some sort of fun to get out the house don’t feel bad
That happened to me once. We had a date set for 2pm and she tells me at 1pm that she’s at a movie with her professor and can’t make it. Then at 5pm texts me and says she’s at Panera bread and she’ll be there for an hour and I can meet her there. Like I was supposed to drop everything I was doing and run to Panera to go meet her.
@@rph8704 Sounds like she was hooking up with her professor. You dodged a bullet.
it was a 'shxt test' power play, you won by failing the test.
The phenomenon of having so much choice that you make no choice is called the Paradox of Choice
Once a man finds peace he realizes he doesn’t need a partner. He’s free and the world is made for him to enjoy
I don't even try anymore. I go to the gym, go to work, go home and go to church. I haven't even tried looking for a relationship in almost 2 years.
That’s exactly what I’m looking for a man who likes the simple life and puts God first so hard to find online or even at all these days it seems
@@bunnym5617 Truth. Finding a lady in her mid 20s - early 30s who loves The Lord and wants Him first has become near impossible. Most of the "Christian" women I meet don't have a biblical worldview, so I've listened to God, stopped looking and trust that when the time is right, He will bring her and myself into each other's lives. Till then, salt and light
I have been single for 7 years. It is the best😄
@@ramzilla873 I’ve had a similar experience where most Christian women I meet don’t really believe in the Bible or have a biblical worldview. It’s very sad. But I haven’t given up on dating, I just try not to waste a lot of time with online dating. But I’m still open to what God has for me. I’m very focused on writing my latest book, so God has been keeping me very busy. And I love it.
I never bothered to get in a relationship even though I wanted to because of both lazyness and because I've never been good at reading signals. Its been now 5 years that i choose to be single and no longer do i desire to be in a relationship. I'm all alone but you get used to it. Plus I got some friends i hang out with a few times in the year.
Social media makes you believe that everyone is beautiful and happy, cause who would post something about a bad moment, or a pic where you are not "good looking"?
Facts 💯
A lot of people are believing the facades
It feels like approaching someone in real life isn't even an option anymore. If you try it, you'll just be seen as an intruding creep.
Nah, just do it, be polite and that's it.
@@raulsouza5866 its unwise to give such advises without even knowing where op is from, it depends very much on the location if you can approach someone you don't know on the street or in a bar, in some cultures its okay to do that but in many places its a no go
@@mbator1266 I thought about that, but gave the advice anyways. Who knows.
Unless you're chad
get out of group think, youd be surprised lol
Social media is absolutely ruining dating. In my young years and when I was dating I met so many different people would go for lunch or coffee or dinner and see if we had some thing in common and go from there pretty well that worked pretty well. These younger people are very smart.
They kinda hit the mark spot on. If you know that there's always some other stranger you can get with then you're inclined to flee at the first red flag / speed bump that you encounter, so very few people are patient enough to form lasting meaningful relationships. It's a big dating app thing. Commitment is rare
I feel like this is gender biased
@@SuitMann pls explain
The best chicks are the ones who still bang their ex !!!!! “My ex watches my dog when I’m not there.” 💀💀😂
The guy who mentioned about Social Media being part of the problem, is definitely onto something !
Interview more guys. This goes both ways. Ive met a lot of douche women who really don’t know what they want and love to waste peoples time 🤦🏻♂️
Exactly, what they say they want and what they respond to are two different things.
Happens all the time lmfao. One minute they want you next minute they want another guy or even a girl and then it gets to a point where you realize your just wasting your own time by staying and trying to negotiate or reason things out.
@@Dee-iy9uq Called discernment try using it.
Those are called cats. They think their pussy is good enough to pick any warm lap to sit on whenever THEY feel like it. Then they leave. Just to go rip the head of a mouse and bring it back to ya like they did something successful. But they are really narcissistic, energy murderers.
@@christinarichie6171 how does that help him?
Romance is very overrated.
Only if you’re not doing it right
Social media destroyed the dating scene for the average person
And the worst part is this: even if you personally choose not to use social media or online dating; choosing to get away from that stuff; even if you choose to meet people in person, those people you meet in person are using social media and online dating themselves. And thus, all of this still affects you even if you choose not to use it yourself. You can't escape from it.
@@TheFallenAngelWhoWas Sadly, the only winning move in this situation is not to play. Live for yourself, become utterly self-reliant and learn to be happy alone.
@@SupaSaiyanGoku you need to work to become best version of yourself
It's so ironic that despite having so many options , still this generation is the loneliest.
Only girls have all the options. Guys have less than ever.
@@josephbrown9685 There's a book written on this exact thing - The Paradox of Choice. Not specific to dating but just having too many choices.
Choice overload.
It's going to get worse
It's because most girls don't settle for avg guys. They want to date the perfect guy they dream about, or what they think is possible from social media.
In a world, where the next person is always one swipe away, it's no surprise people are struggling to settle.
Why settle when you can have unrealistic expectations and die alone
That’s only for women tho. Guys don’t really get matches like that
@@liggmabawls5634facts
Idk why I read this in Don LaFontaine's voice
When she said "ive been treated like shit," i felt that. Dating now is definitely a waste of time. Too many games, lies snd strings attached. I love being single after a 20 year relationship and im not looking back
So sad ☹️. Dating back in the day (70s / 80s) was so easy. I could be sitting on the bus, a single man would sit w/me, we’d strike up a conversation and then there was lunch date! I could on and on about dating. They picked me up at my door and dropped me off at my door. Beautiful! ❤
You're lucky you grew up eariler, I wish I did. I just don't have hope for this modern society or for future generations.
No hookup in the meantime?
But chivalry is dead and women killed it.
@@ejtheking yes, the feminist killed it. 😥
But now women are looking for the ideal standards they saw in Hollywood movies
"Too much access to too many people", that girl was spot on. I'd add that it is an illusion of such access via social media's immediacy. It's not dating, it's eye shopping... a date is a test drive to find flaws at this point. In the end, this is sad for our species' mental health, but not so for social media companies.
she'll say that, and next minute be on instagram and swiping on tinder
why women deserve less
We live in a society where people made their preferences their standard. If you don't fit this perfect shape they have in their head, even if you miss by let say 20% what they are looking for, you are automatically disqualified. It does not matter if you offer 80% of what they want, that 20% will mean it all.
so true
I dont think its bad to have some standards as long as they are reasonable and realistic. However its true what you say how many people's standards are too high, and they expect someone to hit everything on a checklist.
Ah yes the check list. Had a few friends like that. Their dating pool / experience was so meager that when they actually find someone that meets almost all of their qualifications, they move the goal post and change their minds. In the end, women are their own worst enemy and don't know $hit about what they want.
@@Mannwhich The only justice is that they continue to do this until they're 35 and then the men that they passed on at 28 no longer want them. They then settle get depressed and cry, but it's just justice. They're not grateful for what they have.
@Lee Facts. This younger generation is so high on copium its insane! Reality is gonna smack the sh*t out of alot of youngsters.
Too much access to too many people is spot in. Online dating is SO overwhelming 😩
I love talking to women on dating apps. They have so many interesting things to say like "haha", "okay", "lol", "so what are you looking for?", and my favorite, no response at all XD.
Wow, "so what are you looking for" is too long of a sentence for them on dating apps, must've been a rare case!
I always run into bots
Men do that ALOT too!
@@Maria-0017 i'm a man so i can be more biased, but in my personal experience a lot less number of men do that. Usually because they won't have a chanse with texting like this and quikly learn to be more "interesting"
@@levmurflatazara1168 It's exhausting trying to be entertaining on these apps... I deleted them and haven't missed those "thrilling" conversations! A man can literally be doing anything better with his time.
Second chick said it best..people just can't be honest with one another
Not agree, I'm honest and it scare people now being honest
It's very true, that people can't handle the truth. Most people are afraid they'll ruffle a few feathers and then be disliked. They'd rather save face so they won't appear as the squeaky wheel. I'd much rather deal with someone who isn't afraid to speak up than to deal with a people pleaser
@@pigeonramier6898 there's a difference between being honest and then being an ass.
When the reaction to honesty is almost universally negative, people start adapting...
@@SupaSaiyanGoku conformity is a survival instinct
It's social media, telling people how your relationship should be.. No 2 relationships will ever be the same. Find someone that makes YOU happy
I don't even bother dating, never had any app. Seeing and hearing what people (especially men) go through, why should I join them? Learn on their mistakes rather than making the same.
They’re all right. That’s also why I’m stayin’ single, because a lot of people aren’t respectful of each others’ boundaries, morals, and wise values. If I talk to a girl, and she can’t do simple things like not treat me in a negative way, #SayGOODBYE. Don’t text me, talk to me in person. Trust yourself pretty much, because loyalty is dead in today’s times.
This is the only sensible comment I’ve seen so far 💯 If I’m dating a guy and he doesn’t respect my boundaries, why stick around?
Pains me to say apps like Instagram are a cancer to society. You can't be in a relationship anymore without worrying if your partner is ever chatting to other people on social media or even just looking at what's out there. Relationships have basically become as superficial as they've ever been
It doesn't pain me.
Insta is cancer.
Why are you worried if they are looking at other people in the first place?
@@CFloPhotography If you look at someone with lust in your eyes you have already committed adultery.
Women are hypergamous by nature and are rewarded for cheating. They need to be kept on a short leash.
I wouldn't even consider getting married without a pre-nup. It needs to be bullet-proof and completely one-sided with no clauses in there for if I cheat or do bad things.
The burden needs to be 100% on her to prove herself at all times.
Women would cringe at the idea because it keeps them accountable. If they planned to honor their marriage vows before God, they wouldn't mind being penalized in a court of law for not taking those vows seriously.
They typical woman argument would be "Don't you trust me?"
No, the real question is don't you trust yourself? Just sign the bullet-proof pre-nup already.
@@CFloPhotography And also make her sign that pre-nup, and then file it away downtown where she can't look at it or analyze it for the exact wording.
You don't want her taking a copy to her divorce lawyer looking for loopholes.
Make sure she gets blindsided by it at divorce court.
Her divorce lawyer would not want to touch it and give her very low odds of success.
If she ever starts asking about it and wants to see it "just out of curiosity" you will know what she's planning.
No you can't see it.
Don't even tell her where it;s being kept. It needs to remain a huge invisible bear trap if she wanders too far from the path.
@metsfan92286 Why would I make a prenup that has the possibility of screwing me over?
If she has money and she cheats, I get half.
So true. I gave up on dating. Honestly being let down so many times is tiring.
Some people have unrealistic expectations, make poor choices, and need boundaries.
We live in an era where people have too much access to too many people where our standards continually get higher, people would rather chase than to settle and commit and trust within these commitments is hard to find, this is why I'm so cynical when it comes to dating. I hold so little trust with people and have a nagging fear of getting cheated on, getting emotionally destroyed, feeling like I wasted so much time and effort on someone who just doesn't care and who looks at me as a "plan b" and think they can "do better". I'm 19 and currently in university by the way.
What does that mean though? How do you know what better is? I think it’s ok if you’re not dating the right person that happens
At 19 you're lucky to have realized and accepted the dystopian state of dating in the age of Tinder and Instagram. Hypergamy has never been worse, and sadly it's only downhill from here.
Focus on you don't make the same mistake as others work hard spend less go to the gym by the time you are 25 you'll be able to choose
Or be alone. Which is what a lot of girls are doing. Don't settle for a decent/nice guy that approaches them. Rather just be by themselves waiting for the perfect guy.
you can find as soon as possible youve learn reality of life. live in the real world. love for real cry for real stand up over and over again. protect yourself but never get revenge.
I absolutely agree. The grass isn’t alway greener. It’s greener where you water it.
:applause:
I value friendship more then relationships and I've been the happiest I've been in years
I firmly believe that society doesn’t take chances when it comes to dating. They move to the next thing if the current one has one red flag. And it’s most likely not even a red flag, it’s probably a quality that doesn’t align with their fantastical desires. This is the truth, People aren’t perfect, and are too quick to judge. Have an open mind, and be optimistic. That being said, be careful and alert to danger. But if they are a person who is looking for something genuine like you, don’t cast them aside because of one quality. Get to know the whole person.
Females have 95% of the power in dating because they hold the power to sex and relationships because they have 300+ other guys trying so what does it mean to ditch this one whereas guys have 0 asking them out. Not to mention paying $0 for $2,500+ worth of dates, not to mention putting themselves out there 0 times to get rejected and get rejected 0 times... whereas the story for men is asking out 100 girls, 95 don't even bother responding, just ghost, 5 say yes, all 5 dates felt like they went great, but somehow they still get ghosted with 0 explanation not even a thanks for paying for me, 1 goes to a 2nd date, and then it felt like a great time but she ghosts too as you send a few text trying to figure out what's going on. She couldn't give a shit and just ignores it bc again 300 others are asking me out and 1 of those 300 has to be better, right? All the while the guy is spending $1,000+ on all this.... so you tell me who has it better or worst? The same people are on dating apps for 5 straight years, no relationships are actually formed from them. In my opinion it's because girls/women always think there's something better. This is exactly how dating works today as I explained.. I think girls/women need to be more grateful for what they have when it comes to dating, and the sheer amount of opportunities an average female gets over an average man. RUclips experiments, 2 average looking people. Female has 2,300+ likes, the man had 17. Look up dating app stats by sex. The only justice for men comes when they hit 32 or 33 and aren't desired by guys as much anymore.
The abundance mentality people get with online dating makes this possible. So someone who is otherwise perfect has a minor flaw? "There are plenty more fish in the sea; there must be someone out there who is perfect in every way, and so I'll keep looking."
Yes as long as they don't have kids. Don't ever settle for a single parent unless you yourself are a single parent. Being a single parent is an unforgivable deal breaker, no exceptions.
If you are a successful man, the dangers of marriage (let alone dating) are astronomical in today's political climate. It's hard to blame a man who has his ducks in a row for being extremely careful.
please can we get 5'2 balding janitor to give his opinion on this matter
I feel like I can give that opinion. Nobody want compromise for a bit of inconvinience, narcissism is a key factor in general, playing games and out of touch expectations...
60% of men are single
I can give my opinion being 5”3 male , and about to give some serious hot takes but I’m generally trying to date a white girl Bcz that’s my preference but most of them are taller than me, generally have high expectations when it comes to the guys they want to date especially since most girls need to feel safe with the man they choose and not be the laughing stock of their social group. It doesn’t matter how much confidence, how strong you are, how much a nice guy you are and how good you will treat her compared to the other guys that treat her like the shit, the reason why a girl doesn’t pick you is because she has to decide what’s “best for her” even if she doesn’t know what that is yet or never will know. She takes in a lot of factors like , can I show him off to my friends if they ask and not be made fun of? Will I be financial stable dating this person and can we make a living together and start a family or a retirement home? Will he protect me if I’m in danger ? Will be stand up for me against other men? Do I really like him or am I just going through a phase ?
Everything I mentioned is like superficial scenarios which may or may not cross her mind but it’s tough dating when women have a lot of options to pick from, it’s been like this forever but social media allows women to hook up at any time when they need leave the current relationship. Girls are in high demand because they are more desirable and proof of this exists that men literally pay for feet picks and soft core content through only fans .
This might be a rant but expectations men are supposed to live up to are way too high and right now it’s survival of the fittest and women looking to date well educated nice gene men. This is fine I get it I might even do the same thing if I was a women too so I can blame them for being picky .
If anyone finds it tough to date, it shouldn’t be a reason to get down because life is too short to rely on someone else to be your happiness and you should pursue things that make you happy. I think everyone is born for a reason and being born to feel forced to find someone to date is not one of the reasons why you are born. It’s to experience life , enjoy it and maybe hope that when we die, we get to experience life again but maybe not in a sinful god forsaken planet next time.
@@Luna-bb1wq You’re right.
@@Luna-bb1wq this is well written dude
Social media wrecked dating
To preface I think im slightly above average in looks, just because im an anxious dude who wouldnt get opportunities otherwise. I absolutely hate approaching women, there are a million new perceptions an worries I have. I don't want it to come off one way, but I also don't wanna look like a weirdo, or be accused of any petty stuff, ect. I don't want to be "woe is me", cuz my life is fine, but it feels like because im a man its more socially acceptable to tear me down in a rejection, then it would for me to be even remotely mean in the opposite senerio. Idk if any of that made sense, but tldr its less about online dating and more about the current social climate for me
30 years ago, when you tried to choose partner, you saw partner in real life, first. Partner behaviour, talking etc
Today, you choose Photoshop picture on dating application.
So you really don't know who you choose.
Very good answer
Even 20 years ago, falling in love was a gradual process.
Thankfully I got one the old school way. Couldn't imagine going back on the apps lol
Here is my example:
When we entered high school, we started looking at girls, shyly. We had favorite one, basing on our first impression, in most cases - appearance.
But after first year of scool, after we we got to know each other much better, our prefferences totally changed. Other girls become our favorite one, basing on character.
It means that you need some time - in real life - to know other person.
Dating applications offer you first impression only, and some statistics.
@Krzysztof D also dating apps give women a very masculine logical way of choosing men (height, image, bio) with noone to shame her for ghosting etc. I got mine via friend reference where I made her laugh a lot despite me being short and she couldn't have ghosted me easily too. Plus the interests, personality, beliefs are very similar to my friend group. Apps just stand no chance to IRL strategies for compatibility.
It’s harder also because people want all the benefits of love without the effort it requires to put in.
This is so true holy. I can think about situations where the couple has some sort of issue (personally have seen testimony and a couple reddit post and threads) and the surrounding friend group would just suggest breaking up, without even the consideration to try pushing through the obstacle or finding a solution
@@ClassicGaming7 facts. People don’t want to ever be accountable/responsible. They rather run & hide so they never have to grow from those obstacles.
@@IcedOutkrs That's exactly what's going on man. I agree
BIG BIG facts. Hence the rise of stupid things such as "situationships" and "friends with benefits". You want freedom with no responsibility.
@@nomg563 I mean if people wanna do that stuff fine. That’s whatever. Just know you gotta act appropriately for when time comes for a real relationship & marriage. If you single do your single stuff but the moment you want a relationship you gotta move a certain way.
Modern dating is very tough dealing with people
“Seeing features on your screen and trying to make a decision”
Damn she’s right. Apps like Tinder turn human into goods for sale
That's how arrranged marriage works.
Tinder will even have a notification pop up like “looking for a fresh face?”
It’s like, what if I am fine with who I’m with but now that I’m being prompted, maybe I’m questioning myself.. can I do better? Hm, might as well swipe a bit and see.
It’s malicious. They don’t encourage settling down with someone because they lose business. They encourage people to swipe as much as possible. It’s screwed up.
@@tybarker5038 yeah… that’s the world we live in
Yea I liked how she described it, it’s so correct. I felt these things but couldn’t identify or put it in words.
@@tybarker5038they need more customers
It's hard to date online cause it's easier for people to lie online, and they aren't holding themselves accountable for their own honesty.
If a person is lying online they are prone to lie offline. It's not about the interaction method, it's about the person.
The one girl who said that thing about red flags, she is spot on, it’s a huge problem for people, not even red flags necessarily just things that might irritate them, little things they don’t want to deal with. One sign of trouble and they are tuned right off. There’s no freaking loyalty anymore. No willingness to commit, to try, to make things work. People are terrified or unwilling to commit or both.
One reason is the use of the word "commit". I've done copywriting work and words are powerful. THAT word carries a lot of negative associations with it. People "commit" suicide. They "commit" arson. They "commit" treason. They "commit" adultry. They "commit" murder or a crime. They have themselves or are "committed" to an insane asylum. THAT word needs to be changed to something else in order to conjur better associations in a persons mind and then the resistance wouldn't be nearly as strong.
@@robinabernathy2829 nice perspective
@@robinabernathy2829 ooh good point there
Why would anyone want to commit to a person they barely know, though? The real problem is that people who meet via dating apps don't get to spend some time together before actually going on a date imho.
I once talked to a girp who said that everything was great but the guy had a fireplace (kandalló) in his flat so no.
Is that a reason at all?
the first woman was absolutely right!! the best thing is to get to know someone before you get to date them and developing this friendship!!
My husband and I met in 8th grade and have been married over 20 years.
We tell each other all the time that we are so glad we don’t have to date! It just looks like a lot of work and there are so many toxic people out there who mask their true colors. I’ve had acquaintances only reveal their bad side after a year or so and that was hurtful, I couldn’t imagine my partner. I really hope we grow old together, long and healthy lives❤
Ahh I really envy you😂All the Best 🎉
Smashing Pumpkins reference on your username, cheers
So beautiful 😍 Same.. I met my (then boyfriend) and (now) husband as a teenager. He’s my best friend! He makes me laugh so much! We will have been married 18 years this year
Amen sis. I pray you both live long🙂🤍
So many young people on this video are in for the shock of their lives once they hit 40. I honestly think youngsters today believe that they are going to live forever and remain forever young. Nothing but sad endings on the horizon unless you rapidly start to appreciate what you have while it’s standing in front of you and life is short. Whatever time we get is just luck ☘️
mainly for women
True. A lot of people think of a relationship for the now & as far as they plan is the prime of adult hood. Rarely do people actually deeply plan or think about making it to old age & the amount of effort & work it takes to get there & handle it when you arrived.
I love the way you worded this. It is very true, Us young ones take our early 20s for granted, and start to reflect on all our bad decisions later on once all the depression and regret starts to kick in
@@addy3164 I’m 42 now and I’m speaking from experience. I’m lucky enough to have a lovely lady in my life but God I made every poor decision a young man could make. I got lucky and got away with poor decision making but not every man or woman will. I’m grateful for everything but I don’t want youngsters to make the same mistakes I did. Good people are very hard to come by and loyalty these days is stardust my friend.
@@IcedOutkrs They are constantly on the lookout for something better. In truth females are actually the worst for this but there are still some decent, traditional women out there it just takes longer now for men to find them. Men aren’t saints either though so in a way you can’t fully blame women for wanting better. We only live once at the end of the day.
Finding the better version of yourself is much better than finding love. That comes unexpectedly. When the time is right, you'll find that person.
Or you die alone in a mansion.
Agree my guy!!👌
Social media is changing every thing. In some cases like relationships, it is literally destroying intimacy and affection and stability. People always look for something more in terms of appearance and body and attraction while unfortunately ignore the personality and soul of whome they are in relationship.
In my humble opinion...
It's not dating that is hard rather than people's attitude towards other people in dating. Don't look for the perfect person. Build yourself to being that perfect person for yourself and in time you'll meet someone right for you 💯
I’ve noticed it’s mainly us men commenting / thinking this exact thing.
Funny how not many women feel this way. I feel like they think they deserve a perfect man from the moment they start having romantic feelings, without offering much in return.
It is primarily women looking for the perfect partner who has it all, which is why 20% or less of guys are getting most of the ladies.
@@hazard9482 There’s a woman out there whose perfect idea of a guy is YOU. Trust me. I’m not the most attractive or the richest or whatever, but all of the he girls I’ve dated have had one thing common: they chose to be with me. That gives me hope for the future.
All the women know they have an unlimited options online, therefore they only go for the 1 percent of guys… and then the 1 percent of guys know they have all options, so they know they know they can do whatever they want hence the women “being treated like shit” like the girl in the clip said. Rinse and repeat
To be fair... a lot of women prefer the guy that treats them like shit. I dont know what it is, but they always gravitate towards them. I've known plenty of beautiful girls who are smart, honest and kind hearted, and without failure will walk past 2-3 genuine guys and go straight for the one who everyone knows has a history of liying and cheating. Its like they have a voice in their head thats telling them "he won't do that to me" or "I can fix him".
@@nixsis5281 couldn't be said it better
@@nixsis5281
That's because of "you should never hit a wahman" narrative.
To not get hit when you do something wrong is to be your own moral compass. To be your own moral compass is to be accountable for your actions. To avoid being accountable for your own actions is to not be your own moral compass.
Therefore, "hit me, you bad boy, you! Because I'm a piece of sh*t who do not wish to be held accountable for my actions AND afterwards, I can always blame you."
Say hello to women's "liberation."
@@nixsis5281 usually the really young ones do. After they get hurt a few times they settle
@@nixsis5281 It's usually because they want to be the girl that makes an honest man out of him.
We can blame media. So far the only kind of love folks can find is family love, or homie love. It’s kinda sad.
Media is the problem though because of unrealistic expectations!
If you can get that....
So true!! People see a lot.. exposed to a lot and everyone just keeps looking for better better better!!!! Thats not how a relationship is going to work.. people as so much access to so many people so they don't try to fix the relationship issues.. don't try to fix their own issues instead one red flag and they go search for someone else!! You need to make it work at least for sometime you need to give it few chances.. its not that everytime something goes wrong you go and look fo someone else!! You can't keep comparing your gf/bf with others.. you need to fix things.. you need to apologise.. you need to giveup your ego for the sake of that person you say you truly love! Love is hard. You need to give lots of sacrifices ❤
The first girl had it right, you have to start out as friends. The transition is so much smoother and the bond is a lot stronger.
That's the perfect scenario.
Any healthy relationship builds a platonic rapport first.
It's hit or miss when you start off as friends usually they don't want to give that friendship up so they give you the ultimatum either we keep the friendship or you shoot your shot and risk ruining the relationship yall already had in my opinion it's worthless
except when most of the time your friends dont want to date yoou.
What about friend zoned?
A lot of women will never see a friend as someone they can date, they've already placed that guy in the friend category.
The first girl is so real and authentic. Hard to find genuine people nowadays - massive respect and kudos to her; may she be blessed by God.
Do not kiss her ass.
She’s fake, nothing original about these broads, stop the gullibility.
❤
Sorta. She’s a plain Jane with a decent heart, personality-character, mind, body, et al……
Yet you gotta relax with your exaltations of “her being” as if you truly know her intimately.
@@snowfrosty1fr, they see a semi pretty girl and they start exaggerating.
The problem is social media. Almost everybody wants to be a relationship expert tells you 10 tips to be a man that's worth dating a woman That's worth being in a relationship with, red flags, deal breakers etc. Also couples flaunting shopping outings, fancy dinners, exotic trips. These things really make individuals unsatisfied with what they have. Forget compatibility, compromise etc. It's just sad.
At the end of the day from talking to younger family and acquaintances it strikes me from what they have told me about dating that nobody knows very much, nobody has much money and can never pay their way and most people have virtually nothing to offer. Married blissfully since 85 myself ( forty years next year).
All of that doesn't help but its not the root cause. Tons of homeless and borderline homeless people in love.
Don't go looking for love, love yourself and let love come to you, and not in a narcissistic way, a spiritual awakening kind of way.
I've been wating for 5 years now.
yeah as you can see, most guys you tell that to will be single for decades. Love doesnt just show up one day. Terrible advice.
that's terrible advice love just don't come to somebody out of nowhere 2 people has to actually walk outside an see each other
@@OfficalChillVibeX this is the problem. Idk where is the line between loving yourself and accepting on your own and putting yourself out there
What an absolutele sht advice. I bet you are like are 22 at max.
The hardest part is learning why someone is dating you. I’ve known people that were looking for a spouse and anyone agreeable enough would do. Some are just trying to prove they can do a relationship after a breakup or divorce. Others have loved someone before and wont let themselves feel that way again. Some just don’t want to be alone. People can date for whatever reasons they want, but the other person has a right to be loved in the way they want. Mismatched intentions and someone not knowing what they want will erode a relationship that shouldn’t have started anyway.
I wish I could heart your comment! It's so apt! ❤
This is so true...
That's why you date first and find out before making it official.
Very practical and applicable advice
There is always a better person in the next swipe - the infinite loop
It’s not just that, but it says a lot about their values. So even when they get into a relationship it doesn’t last. So they just have failed relationships.
@@JohnSmith-cz3us when the grass is always greener.. why stop?
This is what I've been thinking about lately and it's so true. Let's say you go to a party someday and a girl shows you some interest and she even gives you her number and she flirts with you. That all goes to the trash because 1 day later she gonna see 200 dudes on her Instagram page and then forget about you and ghost you.
@@JohnSmith-cz3us u didn't answer the question
Being in a relationship now compared to back then is so difficult! A guy could literally go up to a girl and try and introduce himself to her and meet her and see if he could ask her out and get her number, but some girls, from my experience, look like they get scared when a guy approaches them and runs away like the guy is going to kidnap her of something. You can't be paranoid and believe everything you see on social media now a days. I get it. They are cautious and it could be intimidating for a stranger to come up at them at times, but it's not like they are trying to make it weird or creepy in any way. They are literally just trying to get to know you and ultimately ask you out on a date. I don't see any harm in that.
I luckily found my wife to be just before this new world of dating exploded back in 2014.
But I know the feeling of people thinking there might be more if they hold off. Not with my fiancee. She's amazing and the reason we work is because we took the time to get to know each other and, just as important, build our own memories and experiences together.
But I get that exact feeling of doubt, uncertainty and paralysing inaction when it comes to my work and career. There are so many potential paths in life these days it's hard to feel like you are on the right one when you know you could be trying something else.
If that's how dating feels to younger people I totally get it.
You described that so well lol
Don't worry, she's gon cheat as soon as she gets on social media
@@chuchaqui1000 i doubt it. She doesn't go for surface shite like that. She wants a man who loves and cares for her. Supports her in life's challenges. Has stupid fun with her. Makes her laugh. Wants to marry her and not burden her with kids. Wants to travel together like crazy hobos. Someone who shares 8 1/2 yeara of lifes trails together. Who isn't social media obsessed. Or looks obsessed.
I'm sorry if someone hurt you. But sounds like it wasn't right to begin with. Me and my woman. We are right for each other. All this social media look at me shite is not even on our radar. We are good friends happy to come home to each other every day, kiss and cuddle, talk about our day, plan our dreams and not spend a moment doubting why we are together. It's not so hard when you find the right person.
To me as a millennial, the whole life feels like that. Your partner is not stable, your place of living is not stable, your job is not stable. Get a good education, the world is open for you was the rhetoric of my boomer parents generation. Well, our generation did, some do pretty good for themselves, but also a good portion does not. It does get frustrating. My sisters are doing much better than me, getting their own homes and families while I still live like a bachelor and changed careers. Maybe I am the problem but when looking at statistics about job satisfaction, financial stability and singles, we millenials are not fairing too good. Maybe not as bad as Gen z but also not as good as the generations before us. Idk, I do not give a fucj anymore, I do not plan, I have internally given up and just adjust to the situation. I do not really see me with a home or family in the next 15 years which is kinda sad but I also slipped in the whole doomer mindset of idgaf
@Kevtb87 I'm glad to hear that, I had a relationship exactly to how you describe yours before. And it was over as soon as she got on social media, we were both against it but then she begged me to let her go on it since all her friends had it. And that's all it took to end things shortly after
Social media makes things so much more difficult. People also rely on that so much now, when before your only option was the old fashioned way. Actually having real conversations with people, to their face, not through a screen. People also have such high expectations. It’s exhausting trying to put myself out there and date, so now I’m just focused on me, myself, and I.
To me being financially independent and having a good career to fund your dream lifestyle is more important than a relationship
@@se2664 Agreed. I got tired of it and started working out, eating healthier, and futhering my career. And I’m doing well, single but now it’s by choice lol. I tried and failed to work out before as a way to make myself more presentable or whatever, now I do it for me. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Social media needs to be BANNED! It is killing relationships
Too easy of an answer I think. There's other factors to take into account. One being that the majority of the occidental population now lives in cities and can afford a lifestyle that doesn't involve any sense of community.
You can go back into your place and disappear. Live your life doing X job, eat, sleep without anyone noticing anything or checking on you.
Hence why social media as so much attention, people don't get any from real life.
I wish they could BAN contraceptions and condoms to stop so many people from sleeping around.
@@Davmm96 yes i agree, i would add that people are also overworked in this economy and use phones as escapism from their boring lives
I wish "they" "banned" authoritarian thugs like you.
Social media is part of the beast system, it’s not going anywhere. Everything we see happening is going according to plan and it’ll only get worse from here on out.
I do agree that dating now is super tough. I've had more than a few boyfriends in my life so far but most either didn't respect certain aspects of me or they didn't want commitment. As a 19 Year old it sucks being told by every adult you meet that boy your age aren't looking for commitment like they used to. It takes away the fear that I was the one who did something wrong but it still hurts that when they leave I know its probably because they're tired of me and have found better. They only look for better not actual love, or they're hoping to find love FROM someone better. I've kinda given up on trying to convince the men dating me to stay with me. If they want to leave they can go, I'm not going to fight for someone who doesn't appreciate me. Do I know there are better people than me out there? Yes, absolutely. But I will not let that demish the fact that I know I am worthy of love and that I know I am a good partner. I pride myself on being open minded, a good communicator, empathetic, and compassionate. If the boys/men I have been with so far couldn't see that then love was not what they were truly looking for.
lol
Been in a happy relationship since high school, been going on for 7 years. No drama, no trouble, nothing. We kept things simple, direct in our communication, and had realistic standards and expectations.
Always had people throughout my life tell me or her “you could do better” “it’s just a high school sweetheart” “you need to try out different relationships” and they have all ended up leaving or stuck in toxic relationships, cycles of cheating, or straight up living a life of loneliness due to unrealistically high standards.
Everyone is absolutely correct in this video. Grass is always greener on the other side, and people don’t even know what they have or want and social media has programmed us to believe perfection is the norm.
Stop it people. Take a step back and judge yourself for once. Reflect. Ask yourself, “am I doing things right?”
I don't even try anymore as well. I just go to work, spend time with family, stay home, listen to music and hang out with two of my close Circle of Friends whenever we want to. I also came to the conclusion that I am a problem as well and I just have a lot of baggage. I realized I am more of a liability than an asset. So the only way I can stop myself from digging a bigger hole is to stop dating altogether. At least I can admit it.
Answer: The illusion and paradox of choice have majority of people thinking they can always find better partners. The women thinking they can always do better or that they will eventually find a super tall, hot, rich guy and men thinking they will eventually find a super attractive woman that isn't also superficial.
Social media ruined everything. But blame ourselves for still using it
I’m not using that shit🤦🏼♂️ all these mental freaks are.
can't live without it unfortunately
@@vickjr98
Stop making excuses, coward.
Relationships are like lifeboats on the Titanic; not everyone is meant to get into one. Once I accepted this for myself, my life substantially improved.
Why is this kinda depressing. And its not about just finding a relationship but that special connection shared only with that person. Yes, that is hard to find.
Try ASMR
What if I say, the titanic never sank??
@@randomhuman97 But it did.
Yo bruh you good? You wanna maybe talk about it?
I always feel that one of the biggest issues is the fact that it's expected in the dating game to *not* be upfront with your intentions. It's so ingrained in dating culture that some people even find it off putting and unattractive when someone clearly defines what their intentions are without "playing the game".
And that's for understandable reasons mind you. Flirting basically requires some level of mystery around the intentions of both parties, and often that mystery can be really fun/exciting. Unfortunately, it also creates a situation in which people now have to do more guess work when judging people's character, and it turns out most people really suck at reading other people. And even more than that, the ability to play the game well seems to correlate with the ability to lie well. After all, lies are often used by people to curate other people's perception of them.
That's how you end up with people (both men and women) saying "I've had bad luck dating, I always seem to choose people that don't treat me well." They've fallen victim to someone that is very good at hiding their red flags behind "game".
Basically, there's something to be said about people that are upfront. They might seem more intense sometimes because you cant hide feelings behind ambiguity with them, but you also know more about what you're getting from the start
Exactly. Even if you decide by yourself you’re not playing their game and you tell straight up what you want, the other party STILL wants to mess with you. Why? Why waste your time with someone who already told you what they want and you clearly don’t?
As a woman, it really pissed me off when I would tell men I was looking to date for marriage and they still wanted to bed me. They come with that ridiculous excuse of “I need to know if we have chemistry before we date”, like I’m still in high school. Boy, bye. You are a f**k boy, now get out of my face. I didn’t waste time with those guys. I learned to quickly just block. There’s no talking to them. You just learn to move on.