😮She did what men say she raced and married not to hit the wall before she even know herself to choose a spouse. I see noone here is accusing her of being with pookie and Ray Ray.or laughing and feeling vindicated that shes dying alone Hmmmm
She spoke facts without actually describing him as being uncaring about her well being and happiness (as a spouse who was also a friend would never do) and that a spouse with neglected feelings cannot raise the will to continue to pretend to be passionate about someone who they have come to realise cares only about themselves and, in truth, sees them as just a handy second class citizen in their life plan. She is older and and accepting of it as she has seen many such relationships fall apart as she was married in the days (the 60's) when teens were encouraged to get married and start a family as soon as possible and, if you were not a married woman with a child before you were 25 you were considered on the shelf. Also easy divorce for women did not come in until the late 70's before which, the woman had to lie in court that she had commtted adultery (ruining her reputation) just to be granted one if the husband was unwilling to divorce her..
I'm almost 77 and been a widow 19 years. This lady is absolutely right about marriage. Your spouse absolutely has to be your very best friend in your life. Romance takes 2nd or 3rd place as you begin to focus on children and paying bills, but your friendship deepens and grows stronger with each challenge life throws at you. My husband and I met in high school and we became good friends right away. I had a crush on another guy, but then I realized he was not as much fun to be with as I was with my best friend. I began to realize that I missed seeing him when school let out for Christmas and Easter. By the time summer vacation rolled around we became more than best friends. We were going steady. This was 1964. We got married in 68 and he got drafted and went to Vietnam. Thankfully he came home safe. I got to be his wife for 36 years before he passed away from cancer. He was only 59. He was the best friend I ever had. ❤
@@McCarthy_Paul_Servant_of_God Thank you for your kind response. Yes, I believe he is waiting for me and that he watches over me. Today would have been my husband's 79th birthday. Not a day passes that I don't think of him.
@@McCarthy_Paul_Servant_of_God Not a day goes by that I don't think of my beloved. He was the quiet soul and I was rambunctious spirit. We balanced each other very well. Peace and blessings, friend!
What she said was 100% correct to many people get married to the wrong person for the wrong reasons it's all about money and sex these days instead of friendship
I am loving YOU! What a wonderful comment & I send those blessings right to you all in this chat stream. I had the same reaction. I wrote that I wasn't to hang out with her & make her laugh.
Her answer of “No” when asked whether she was on the market was so assured and confident. I admire that. She’s ok with her own company at her age and she embodies peace and wisdom.
@25Soupy She was twenty years old when she married, seriously , the heart takes over, she was very young , she is wise, her wisdom, knowledge and experience makes her wise, her divorce has nothing .to do with her not being "wise" experience, living life etc...breeds "wisdom'" youvl sound very judgemental
Aww, so glad I saw this as well. Ever since I read that Nietzsche quote, “the cause of unhappy marriages is not the lack of love, but a lack of friendship.” It changed my view of romance forever, in the best way possible. This lady is so sweet, bless her soul.
one of my favorite quotes by Nietzsche! I also like this: there would be more happy mariages if the couple would not live together! There is a well known couple in Germany. He was a catholic priest and when they were young they fell in love. As he did not want to lose his profession, they met in secret. Always in different places. They had children too, who had to be quiet about their father. One day the man had enough, he quit his church to be with his family for always. Well they got married, but it did not work out. So they divorced and he found another place to live. BUT.... they did not stop seeing each other, like in their younger years. It was really so revealing when they came on a TV program talking about their story!
@@juttaweise in a happy marriage, the couple should live together. This is to share their lives together, a form of love. For the story above, when a priest chooses to have a family, he should quit his priesthood as the church will not allow.
I was married 25 years and I still miss him so yes it is very sad, especially for the one who doesn't want the divorce. I just turned 60 and I still have so much love for the right man but I'm waiting on God to find him for ❤ God bless all those reading this and in search of the right person 🙏
She also said: “Lots of lingerie, toys, lube, plugs…you gotta be a wild cat in the sack”. 😅 (Alexa, play Doo Doo Brown, by Too Live Crew. Granny gotta pop dat boo-tay!)
I’m 72 and have been widowed 3 years. If I were to be looking now I would look for a great friend who loves me, listens to me, and respects me as I do them. ❤ Having a friend is way more important than fancy things.
I found my best friend. I didn't know it at the time. Our personalities complemented each other. Her strengths were my weaknesses and vice versa. We were a team. Rest in Heaven, Joy 😊😊😊
My wife and I have had many arcs, in our relationship, but we are still obsessed with each other after 30 years together. I knew the moment I met her that we were going to go on adventures together. We still support each other, have children together, and we remember to be forgiving (within reason); to be nice to each other. I am just glad a beautiful woman, like her is in my life, she is a gift from the gods, and I am privileged to be her partner in life ❤!
You’re raving about her in a random comments section even after 30 years? 😂😂😂 I wish you both so many more years of good health, amazing experiences and beautiful days❤
I don't know about you, but that gentle "No" she gave when she said she's not on the market had all the grace in the world. You can tell she's so settled in her soul where she's at. Beautiful clip.
That hurt me. I know she’s in her later later years but man she deserves unconditional love (based on this clip) it hurts that she’s made peace in being alone till death :(
I think that she might have felt a bit patronized by the question. She didn’t indulge him in the way that he was implying an, “Of course you’re not.” And then the joke about how he’s bummed that she’s not on the market. (As to say “Of course I’m not bummed.”) But she was having none of it. She ignored the implications and responded about it in a serious tone.
@@NonoNana-et9we Be looking for someone to date. Sadly, in recent years people have taken to call "market" to what we used to call "look for your special someone".
If only the young fools will deeply understand the wise words she is saying.At her age what will be more beautiful than having her old partner strolling along at the weekly local market
We've been married for 48 years. I get up every morning and realize how much I love this man. How I feel when he walks thru the door and smiles at me. My heart still beats faster. He's a true friend and lifes companion. We were married at 18 and decided to make it work thru all the hard times. I'm glad we did.
As long as the guy is not friend zoned it could work. Women tend to friend zone the BETA Males and are attracted to the ALPHAS. If there's real respect. Real love and real attraction it would work long term. Men are usually easy to please. Women on the other hand are harder to please and usually leave (80% divorce initiated by women) because of female Hypergamy. They get bored and want to level up.
@@Michelle-pn9xt How miserable and pathetic must you be to make not just one, but several comments about how a divorced woman’s opinion shouldn’t matter, when it’s obvious that many people, single or married, fully agree with what she has to say? She’s obviously learned and grown a lot from her many experiences, and that makes her opinion more valid than anyone’s. If you can’t even see past the fact that she’s a divorced woman and take the time to really consider the message of her words, then you really can’t consider yourself in a position to give your own advice on such topics.
I agree my husband is my best friend. I’m always excited to hang out with him and do things we like together. In the beginning it was rocky but a few years in and we figured out how to communicate with each other and let each other be ourselves without trying to change the other person. Now instead of arguing with each other about our faults every day we have passionate debates and conversations about things going on in the world it’s fun😊
The key to a long and happy and fulfilling relationship is being with your best friend. I'm 75, feel terrific, and I know friendship is an absolute must. Don't rush into marriage.
I have been married for 11 years, however I have never had a problem with my husband, we were best friends for years and I realized I was having more fun with him than with other guys so I took the first step. Maybe I don’t have a lot of experience but I believe friendship is the most important thing you can have with your partner 😊 hopefully I can grow old with my husband and be together forever.
Isn’t it amazing that the only prerequisite you had was having ‘fun’ with a man. His decency, kindness, masculinity, competency, hard work ethic, honour, standing by his word, helping others, sobriety etc all the traits that make a man solid meant utterly nothing to you. You picked him based on the most superficial, superfluous piece of crap trait you could and yet it worked out for you. Heterosexuality for men is a bloody curse. Decency and honour in a man are traits despised by wahmen yet this simp interviews wahmen like a mangy dog. When are men going to get it?
She's bang on. I've never heard it put so succinctly. It's been thirty years for us here, so far. And, we still play together like we're college kids. Looking forward to whatever is next, JJ
Older people have so much to offer and help the younger people, but most of the time not many want to listen. I just want to say thanks for asking her this question!
America doesn't appreciate older people. It's youth oriented. Older people have lived life. The good/bad. They've gained wisdom. All seniors aren't Joe Biden.
The older women lead young women astray with bad advice on living your life by sleeping around and partying so they will end up alone like them. In boarder context my generation have learned what not to do from observing the older generations (particularly boomers) who broke the economy.
@@IrishFrank22What a narrow mind you have. There's good and bad in all ages. And boomers didn't break anything, they worked hard to get what they needed, or went without until they could do better. I was raised by that generation.
@@margaretr5701 The boomers caused the recession as they were the legal adults at the time signing contracts to borrow money way beyond their means because of their greed!!! The boomers and the next generation most certainly did not go without until they could do better. What generation was in charge in 2008? With regards to my point on older women, I meant what I said because it's true. Women cause 80% of divorces, cheat more, and financially extort men more. It is clear you have a very closed mind from reality and you have lived a very sheltered and privileged life!
This woman have good advice however it does not mean all older people are wise because they are not, I saw a short video yesterday, well she accused young people of being selfish, encorage marrying young and have children even if it's hard because they had it hard, well that is super bad advice! People that can't take care of children obviosly should not and it's not selfish to not marry young and decide to not have children. It's not true that if there is a will there is a way. Life is suffering and if you don't have the means to provide for your children you absolutly should not! Then she talked about laces and how important it with a nice home. However people need to be able to afford a nice home and all don't think laces look good. So I would say and elder person that don't talk trash about young people are actually wise otherwise not!
We found the "Okay Boomer" person who can't just say something nice about this lovely woman without spouting their hate towards elderly people in general. You choose to cling to negative stereotypes about them, while accusing them of doing exactly what YOU are doing.
@@LazyIRanch There are wise elderly people and wise young people, it's not about age but many think so. Ofcourse I very much dislike hate towards young people, it's not okay, however I don't think this woman on this particular video hate young people. I believe in the younger generation and I will defend them. Okay boomer was response towards hate against younger people. What is wrong with that? Well you do you.
Reminds me of that meme, you know the one where the treasure hunter finds lost treasure and in it is a scroll, that reads, "the real treasure is friendship" and he throws it away in disgust. Ghahahahahah😂
I would also add that before you marry, you should know yourself well enough to be able to know what you are and most importantly, what you would not be able to put up with, because throughout a marriage, there will undoubtedly be things you both don’t like about one another.
@jacquuelinesimpson191 I agree. It takes years working on inner self, and it's no picnic in the park. You will face things that you've suppressed for years. I've been doing the work for years (counseling has helped tremendously). And I can say I'm pleasantly pleased. I am more at peace, I handle external problems in a more calm manner, I let go of what I can't control, I'm able to ask myself what role did I play when problems arises; among other things. Im still a work in progress. I manifest and attract love and kindness in my life. ❤️❤️
@@blackhokage1744 they don’t need a third party rando stranger with greased fingers, typing their feelings out to deter someone else cos they can’t handle life themselves. 41 years is better than what you or most can do. You celebrate news like this. Congratulate. Not tear down in fear or doubt. Don’t be stupid.
The problem these days, is: It's no longer about love. It's about control and convenience. The happiest people are those who have gained contentment in life. Rather as a couple or single.
The adage "be the person you want to attract" is starting to seem true to me. You be you. Work on yourself. Be grateful. Then alone or with someone you will have good energy!
🙏💖 I am a woman that suffer from attachments, I am not proud of that. How at my 64 years can learn to be and do all alone? Greu up in a toxic family, I learned not to love myself nor respect me. In my adult life, intentionally chose my partners relationships to take of me. My form to pay for their care was submission of my part. Say yes to all, of course, that made me very unhappy. I put them in high throne and lower myself. That doesn't work, at the end both parts get tired, one of taking care and I of loosing myself. Presently, I am married to a narcissist. I dream at night and daydream too of leaving him, but I am like a chained elephant with a small bracelet.
So sorry to hear about your situation. I am also married to a narcissist at 61 and praying for the courage to divorce him. We are not alone as I now realize how many other women are living in these toxic relationships. May we all find our way to a happier and fulfilled life.
@@strongbamboo5947practice daily bringing a new feeling of goodness, love, in remembrance of your past self and past experiences no matter what they were.. in the present, focus your energy on yourself and all that you need to accomplish in your daily life.. this is not about ignoring another person but the prevention of fuelling, energetically another's negative behaviour .. as simplistic as this sounds this can be transformative..
Ive had a hard marriage. We are not best friends. I tell my adult children this exact advice. Marry your best friend who makes you laugh, who will be easy to communicate with.
But can you fall in love with your best friend? Friend is different from spouse. I love my husband but he is not my best friend for sure. And he doesn't love me at all. Sometimes I wonder if my love is an obsession. And I never had any feelings for people who could have been a good match in terms of interests and habits.
I am confused ? Why dating someone you don't enjoy being with ? Why hanging out with someone that you cant communicate with? There is plenty of people , why choose to be in that type of relationship?
@@zacharysherry2910 I am assuming you are not asking the literal meaning. Most probably, in this context she meant carrying day to day conversation in general. Yes, that is important. If one cannot talk to a person without a fight or some kind of altercation or has to be extremely careful while talking or even maintaining silence, the relationship will be difficult to maintain. Life gets really stressful. So while choosing spouse one has to think about that, but the funny thing is most people go with someone who they think they will get along. Their past influences their decisions unfortunately, not their intellect. They don't pay attention to their needs, rather they want something and keep chasing the same.
I think it looked silly. I also think that lady thinks it looks silly. My husband died four years ago. Now I'm 60 years old and it's impossible to find love when you're old. Unless you have money to buy love and that isn't the kind of love I want.
I think a lot of people misunderstood her,e. she was talking about the time when she was in her 20s, Her advice is you must look for a friend to marry not just anyone you like
@@trishmcl9055It's not impossible to find love when you are older without money. Many people have done it. Some people just choose not to because for very personal reasons. Either choice is a good choice as long as it's the right choice for that person.
When I say to prospects that we really must be good friends, or there is no point in a relationship if we can not be, I'm often met with puzzled looks. It's the sensible way to go about a relationship. Sure, chemistry is important but not as important as respecting and liking each other.
You're exactly right. There are any number of things that can ruin a sex life. That's especially true if you're married for 50 years. Menopause for women, and impotence for men, are just 2 examples. If you're best friends, and your like eachother there will be many forms of intimacy. Those will get you though the times when you're unable to rely on chemistry. The only thing I would add is that you have to enter a marriage with the intent to work through why hard times, or fights, that will come along. Many people, when they think of getting married, don't spare even a second to recognize that every marriage will have it's rocky times. If you aren't truly committed to weathering any, and all, storms.
Agree 100% we all have time to get the point across like this gorgeous woman we just don’t think we have, life is to short anything else. Well done to her❤😊
My husband has been my best friend for 49 years . Marriage is a commitment to each other , we promiced to never give up on eachother. My husband has always stood up for me. He treats me well. He is 72 now, and he is still the most handsome man i have ever met. Dont know what i would do without him. Dont want to find out either. He is my rock , i am so happy he picked me to be in his wife !! HAPPY VALENTINES HONEY ! ❤
That's very sweet. 99.9% of people will never have that. Some of us just accept we won't. It's not a bother. I'm 38 and don't care if I ever date again.
Im going on this route with my current bf who also is my best friend, we will get married next year and your comment made me smile and I feel so hopeful because we have the same energy❤🥹🥹thank you so much for sharing 🫂
I have that kind of husband, too. This is marriage - year 44, and we love to review how we met and where we've been together (that's our bedtime story every night🥰). Either one of us will say, tell me a story, and we love to hear the same story.... I knew he was the one on the first date. I knew I was safe with him, and he has been a wonderful provider and protector every day since, and I've been blessed to be his wife and lover.❤
Please. Anyone wanting to get married. Wait. Wait until at least 35. You will be older and more mature. You'll have a more stable plan. And most of all. Don't give up. Don't you dare give up. You push forward no matter what. And at all costs protect and provide for your family.
I am a 76 year old widow and she is spot on. I was 20 and not looking but met a man , 22, and we clicked. Same values and goals, same sense of humor and same passion. I told my kids to imagine themselves with their spouse sitting on the porch, having a hard time getting out there, wrinkled and gray, still visiting with each other. If you can’t see it don’t do it.
She seems very sweet, but she's not spot on, you are! She didn't mention sharing the same values, interests and goals. She said find a best friend and passion. Passion deepens. It changes Friendship grows. It develops. You found your best friend because of the three things you mentioned. You were smart!
Yes! That's great! I say if they are the person that you will be laughing in the bed at night with, hashing the days events with then they are the one.
I went to a funeral today of a man I knew who was days before turning 89. His first wife died in 2013. He met a widow whose husband had died in 2012. The couple married in 2014 and had a wonderful 9 1/2 years together. I just visited with them around Thanksgiving 2023 and took them dinner and brought groceries for them. I know this lady in the video said she wasn’t looking but I hope love finds her and that she has another 15 years or so being loved. She seems like a sweetheart.
It seems she understands the Bible and Christians cannot remarry unless widowed. Her first spouse May still be living making her bound for life until he passes. It is sad, but Jesus’ disciples said it’s better not to marry. It comes with much hardship and sorrow if marriage is rushed and one doesn’t understand they’ve entered into a covenant that can’t be broken. I hope she keeps living her life with that wisdom and understanding that can only come from God
@@kfollowstheway138 She is not 'bound for life' 😕 For all we know, he could of been beating her. The 'bible' is a book, reproduced many times over, and infused with manmade dikdats... Which generally serve to benefit the entire corrupted system of 'organised religion'. 'Live and let live' needs to be the mantra of all religions. If you do not harm another... Live your life as you choose.
Just like this lady….I am a little younger. I got married at 20 also. Even my former in-laws felt I did everything I could to stay. My ex had some mental issues. My children have been the most important thing I have done. I was the best mom I could be - not perfect, but I did all I could to give them a nice, stable life.
Just like this lady….I am a little younger. I got married at 20 also. Even my former in-laws felt I did everything I could to stay. My ex had some mental issues. My children have been the most important thing I have done. I was the best mom I could be - not perfect, but I did all I could to give them a nice, stable life.
Just like this lady….I am a little younger. I got married at 20 also. Even my former in-laws felt I did everything I could to stay. My ex had some mental issues. My children have been the most important thing I have done. I was the best mom I could be - not perfect, but I did all I could to give them a nice, stable life.
Just like this lady….I am a little younger. I got married at 20 also. Even my former in-laws felt I did everything I could to stay. My ex had some mental issues. My children have been the most important thing I have done. I was the best mom I could be - not perfect, but I did all I could to give them a nice, stable life.
Excellent advice. My wife, Penny and I worked together as EMT/Paramedic partners on the ambulance for many years (decades). We were a great team on and off duty, building a successful life. We suffered and sacrificed together. I knew Penny for 43 great years. Unfortunately, she passed away suddenly in 2020. I love and miss you, my wonderful wife. But life goes on.
She reminds me so much of my grandmother in her mannerisms, style and patience, that alone almost made me cry. I miss her every day, even if this woman didn't have kids, I hope she has a support network, she seems so lovely and introspective.
I wish wisdom wasn’t wasted on the young. She has so much insight at 77 than she ever could have at 27 that I bet she would make a far better choice this time around in selecting a partner. I know that I would.
I work with seniors. I love them so much! Their wisdom, their stories, their presence are precious pearls. There is so much to learn from them. Each has journeyed a different road. I'm thankful they are in my life. Such a blessing. ❤
She's absolutely right, you have to find your best friend. Nowadays, people are looking for the "hot guy" or the "hot girl" or someone who makes a lot of money. Nobody is looking for the ones that will stimulate your mind and soul.
Nothing new about that, been that way for all my 73 years. Had a few " best friend" women in my life. They were always looking for a handsome prince to sweep them off their feet. And then married some some alpha loser, with a guitar or Corvette.
Indeed. Every succesful marriage i know has a strong foundation of friendship as a base. Passion may come and go but caring/kindness, respect and admiration, if you lose that, the relationship is over. You have to be like a team and on the same team. Is crucial. Don't just get married because society pressures you or you feel lonely. Learn to build that kind of foundation with someone before you take this step
Bless her she speaks truth but mixing that into today’s culture is difficult. Our grandparents era was a great time for real love through tough times and all . Now people cheat or leave because they are bored or don’t value relationships and love like the olden days ❤
I didn’t need a best friend. I already had best luck. I was not looking for a best friend. Looking for someone that was my equal. I love horses 🐎 my daddy gave me a horse for my birthday which became my companion.
I’m 80 years old now. I still ride my horse 🐎 we ride we go on long rides. My horse 🐎 likes to swim we swim the Rio Grande 😂 we take mud baths. He’s a fun horse 🐎 ❤
@@anitahernandez1644 Your nature as a woman doesn't desire someone you view as equal you want someone who is superior to you. A man that you feel is above you is going to be one you feel can make you feel safe, someone you can admire, look up to, follow, and submit to
You need someone who is fully committed. Someone who is willing to choose you every day, for their whole life. Someone who is faithful in every way. Someone with a forgiving heart. Someone who can compromise. Someone who is humble. Someone with a good sense of humour. Someone with the same expectations, goals, lifetime vision, and moral views etc... as you ❤
@@mikeb5372No... those are my parents. That's also me, though single, because I have chosen the right models. One need not despair of at least ONE'S SELF becoming that person...
@@hymnodyhands I agree with the first 5 points. The rest is not necessarily true and the last part is expecting some sort of perfection, in which case being forgiving and willing to compromise become moot. If you have the same expectations, goals, lifetime vision and moral views then what is there to compromise or forgive? No two people have the same everything like that, that's why compromise comes into play
I married at 21 and he was a 22. We went to Cana Conferences that helps you discern your vocation. You do have to marry someone that will accept you in all aspects and moods. October 16,1971 was our wedding day. We are doing just fine😅
Well, when you've been through so much 💩 in life and have figured life out like never before, it only makes sense to speak at your own pace and have formed opinions and advice about important topics of life. With each passing year, I find it not necessary to speak much and care much about what anyone thinks. My focus in life is to be kind, spread kindness, surround myself with God fearing individuals and build a good reputation with Him, afterall there's life after death.
Absolutely, but sadly, in our ageist society, the elderly are treated now like burdensome imbeciles to be laughed at. There is little respect for older people now. Where society once revered their elders, the children of the elderly are now mocking their parents and can’t wait to be shut of them. Though this is not always the case for the most part society has taken a disgraceful turn in this direction. It’s sad but its true. I see it time and again in the media, but especially among my older friends who constantly complain of disrespect from their adult children.
@@marte1376 no, that's too much to ask. I love my wife as much as ever, and she's my best friend, but after 22 years we're not as passionate and shouldn't expect to be.
Such a sweet lady. I’ll be 70 in one month. I married my best friend and we had some awful times, but underneath all that, we genuinely loved each other. We were together 33 years before he died. The last words we ever spoke to each other were “I love you Robin” and “ I love you too Timothy” and we sat looking at each other across the room for a long time. He gave me the best hugs I ever had in my life. I miss that more than anything. Those tender hugs.
I married my best friend at 21. Was with him since 17. Still didn't work out. People grow and end up on different paths. Abuse happens. You can remarry if that's what you chose. I chose to stay alone. Never again because no matter how you love, people change
People do change... that's so true. I think your chances of marital success improve if you and your spouse are on the same path so you grow and change in alignment with each other. This is more likely if your communication is strong and you spend a lot of time together. I also agree that marrying young can hurt your chances. When you're that young, it's easy to marry for the wrong reasons, or not thoroughly know the character of the person you are marrying.
Some women try changing their partner as well. That man will never be a different person and must love whom they are for whom they are passionately. I know some men that had to give up all there hobbies and there whole identity no more fishing or hunting or golfing trips or fixing up hotrods 😅
Alot of people below 25 don't know what they want and Pretty much all women by 30 want to be married for usually all the wrong reasons not even knowing the person hardly
People aren't who they're truly going to be until they're age 26 and above as the brain hasn't fully developed until that time. It's why people shouldn't get married too young. 20 is not mature enough of an age to make a marriage work when difficulties arise. It's unfortunate that he was abusive in your marriage. Not your fault. But don't let that discourage you. There are good men who are not abusive.
I'm 71 shortly, and marrying my love of nine years this year. My best friend and I go tramping/hiking regularly. It keeps us loving and supporting as our journeys are strenuous and challenging.
She is very wise. I married my best friend almost 50 years ago. We were both younger than this lady but because we were best friends we are still together.
Exactly. Once the friendship dynamic transitions into romantic love, it's TOTALLY different. And it can most certainly end badly. I know from experience, sadly.@@Jblah
She generously shared her disappointment to help others. Authentic lady. It’s not easy “to be on the market” when you have struggled in a relationship. Thank God she was able to sustain herself.
Humans have always sustained with or without others… life moves individually independently for all. It’s a bonus, privilege, or lots of detriment to have another join you.
I’m 66 I met my husband when I was 23. He died when I was 42. He was my best friend and he was my very best friend. We had water balloon fights and we enjoyed each other and traveled. We had two kids and did so much together.my world collapsed when he died. I never married again because I couldn’t find anyone close to being like him. He was a person I could forgive and he was a black man that even those who were prejudice liked him. He was a very giving person. If I found someone like him again I could see dropping everything to do it again. I’m coming to a time in my life I’m near the end. He made my life complete.
My condolences. What a special relationship the two of you had! May you be blessed to find another one, which might be different but just as wonderful.
"It's hard" I used to take care of seniors with dementia and alzheimers. One thing I heard often was that "getting old isn't for sissies!" 😂 Now I'm in my 60s and brother, let me tell you, they were spitting facts! My advice is *keep moving.* Be active, because if you slow down you will pay for that. Try to walk every day. When you're watching television, stretch. If you stop stretching and moving you will regret it.
She said the key… Choosing someone that is your best friend that you can love passionately… I over heard my dad tell my son, “if I just loved your grandma, I’d left the relationship along time ago, because you can love anyone from afar, but I stay because I really, really, really, really LIKE who she is and what she stands for for (and she’s great looking and a good cook).. I’ve never forgotten that..❤️
@@eheheh3263 we exist to be together lol. Nobody can live in a vacuum. wether or not you want a relationship is your choice but it doesn’t change the fact it’s a human beings biological imperative to mate. Just like any other animal. What other reason do we have to exist other than to mate and procreate and carry on the future? Life is is about people. A life of being self focused until you die seems depressing…..
So True!! As Long as there is give and Take from Both Sides - and it is Not a One-Way street of giving i.e. only one person giving whilst the other keeps taking...
@@joannajones8533so funny you so this because it’s my life with my wife who has a mental illness just endless giving with little taking for endless years and I try my hardest to make it work but I for see a day that I will walk away…
My spouse is none of these things. I view her as my responsibility, which is the way I get by every day. I'm not saying she is a bad, but we are just completely different people whose interests and plans cannot align for the most part. 20 years this year.
@@amysill3815 Thanks for being real! I think even the best of marriages have their challenges and problems-and probably on a regular basis. Marriage isn’t easy, so it’s best to choose wisely. ❤️ And you’re right-it shouldn’t be entered into lightly, and most people need to stick it out.
@@littlelemon1783 Aww, thank you so much! I’m sooo thankful for my relationship with Jesus. He truly is where my deepest sense of peace comes from. Blessings to you!! 🙏🏻❤️
Absolutely correct. My husband and I married our best friends-each other. We are still in love decades later, and we still make each other laugh every day.
Dear Lady You are amazingly honest .. getting married too young really signals the fact that we change and grow. Some of us don’t know anything yet….. we are late bloomers!!
I am so grateful these times now women do not have to stay home until married ( at least in my country ) and now have the freedom to never be married if choose to remain unwed ( unless the Lord has other plans ). Also, can now marry at later age, and it is encouraged to be educated and have right finances and not be in debt first. I understand things happen after marriage, but at least now, now can begin marriage with a fridge full of food instead of barely a container of milk. Women can now work if husband agrees instead of him taking on a second job.
You can't blame it on age. The option is not to divorce. If the state gave you zero dollars, and you couldn't to take half to 70% of the man's income, then most people wouldn't get divorced. Choosing door number 2. Smh.
Her acceptance of making a wrong choice while young, and not blaming herself nor her spouse, is the key to her calm serenity. 💝
😮She did what men say she raced and married not to hit the wall before she even know herself to choose a spouse. I see noone here is accusing her of being with pookie and Ray Ray.or laughing and feeling vindicated that shes dying alone Hmmmm
She spoke facts without actually describing him as being uncaring about her well being and happiness (as a spouse who was also a friend would never do) and that a spouse with neglected feelings cannot raise the will to continue to pretend to be passionate about someone who they have come to realise cares only about themselves and, in truth, sees them as just a handy second class citizen in their life plan.
She is older and and accepting of it as she has seen many such relationships fall apart as she was married in the days (the 60's) when teens were encouraged to get married and start a family as soon as possible and, if you were not a married woman with a child before you were 25 you were considered on the shelf. Also easy divorce for women did not come in until the late 70's before which, the woman had to lie in court that she had commtted adultery (ruining her reputation) just to be granted one if the husband was unwilling to divorce her..
She has emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and humility. Something many modern women lack significantly.
@@ian_fordI think you meant to say modern men
@@ian_fordbecause modern women lack a brain. Not only women but men too. I swear most people these days act so mentally regressed it’s ridiculous
I'm almost 77 and been a widow 19 years.
This lady is absolutely right about marriage. Your spouse absolutely has to be your very best friend in your life. Romance takes 2nd or 3rd place as you begin to focus on children and paying bills, but your friendship deepens and grows stronger with each challenge life throws at you.
My husband and I met in high school and we became good friends right away. I had a crush on another guy, but then I realized he was not as much fun to be with as I was with my best friend. I began to realize that I missed seeing him when school let out for Christmas and Easter. By the time summer vacation rolled around we became more than best friends. We were going steady. This was 1964. We got married in 68 and he got drafted and went to Vietnam. Thankfully he came home safe.
I got to be his wife for 36 years before he passed away from cancer. He was only 59. He was the best friend I ever had. ❤
I hope you meet again in heaven ❤
@@McCarthy_Paul_Servant_of_God Thank you for your kind response. Yes, I believe he is waiting for me and that he watches over me.
Today would have been my husband's 79th birthday. Not a day passes that I don't think of him.
@@annarodriguez9868 oh wow, what a coincidence, glad you're able to be reminded of him fondly today then! :)
@@annarodriguez9868 Your story brought tears to my eyes. Beautiful❤ Thank you for sharing!!
@@McCarthy_Paul_Servant_of_God Not a day goes by that I don't think of my beloved. He was the quiet soul and I was rambunctious spirit. We balanced each other very well.
Peace and blessings, friend!
Beautiful words and wise sentiments. May all of her days be richly blessed with goodness and light.
Amen 🙏🏽
What she said was 100% correct to many people get married to the wrong person for the wrong reasons it's all about money and sex these days instead of friendship
@@icantcook9998true!
I am loving YOU! What a wonderful comment & I send those blessings right to you all in this chat stream. I had the same reaction. I wrote that I wasn't to hang out with her & make her laugh.
Shut up'
Her answer of “No” when asked whether she was on the market was so assured and confident. I admire that. She’s ok with her own company at her age and she embodies peace and wisdom.
Exactly lol..no little joking laugh or anything..just straight no😂
She didn't understand it was a joke and she's gonna die alone. I can see why life is hard for her
@@smokingcrab2290😢😢😢I'm sorry you're miserable
A lot of people stay in marriages because they’re afraid of being alone and they’re miserable. Being alone isn’t necessarily a bad thing
@@smokingcrab2290 you need 50 hugs.
"you have to find a person who's going to be your best friend". Words of wisdom.
Yes
Facts
That's the key to a long, happy marriage; best friends , loving, honouring and respecting each other. Total dedication
And you'll love passionately she said...don't forget that
it's wiser to stay free on your own.
She's lovely, so genuine, well spoken, and very wise
❤❤❤❤
Great understanding
NOW....NOW... BACK THEN ?!
Yes.. She didn’t sound bitter, resentful or forelorn. There’s a quiet kind of “So this is how life is and I’m actually okay with that”
Lovely yes, genuine yes, wise no that's why she's divorced.
@25Soupy She was twenty years old when she married, seriously , the heart takes over, she was very young , she is wise, her wisdom, knowledge and experience makes her wise, her divorce has nothing .to do with her not being "wise" experience, living life etc...breeds "wisdom'" youvl sound very judgemental
I love this woman's demeanor, so articulate in her manner of speech. She is special.
Extremely ❤
Yes. I agree he is so uplifting and he treats each person with honor and great respect!
You can tell in between the line that she made mistakes, and she learned.
@@maggiejetson7904 Haven't we all! Welcome to humanity 😊
This 65 year old man finds her quite lovely.Now, if only I wasn't married.....lol.
Aww, so glad I saw this as well. Ever since I read that Nietzsche quote, “the cause of unhappy marriages is not the lack of love, but a lack of friendship.” It changed my view of romance forever, in the best way possible. This lady is so sweet, bless her soul.
one of my favorite quotes by Nietzsche! I also like this: there would be more happy mariages if the couple would not live together!
There is a well known couple in Germany. He was a catholic priest and when they were young they fell in love. As he did not want to lose his profession, they met in secret. Always in different places. They had children too, who had to be quiet about their father. One day the man had enough, he quit his church to be with his family for always. Well they got married, but it did not work out. So they divorced and he found another place to live. BUT.... they did not stop seeing each other, like in their younger years. It was really so revealing when they came on a TV program talking about their story!
@@juttaweiseyes I've heard this as well...its not uncommon for some happily married couples to live in separate homes.
@@juttaweise in a happy marriage, the couple should live together. This is to share their lives together, a form of love.
For the story above, when a priest chooses to have a family, he should quit his priesthood as the church will not allow.
That is the same guy who was an incel who hated women.
@@DiamondsRexpensive The love in a friendship is for friends, the love (friendship is included) in a romantic relationship is for partner.
She is the type of woman you want to sit and have tea with and listen to her story. What a lovely soul she has.
Facts!
AGREE 😘
She is so beautiful still both inside and outside!
Marriage requires effort and "passionate" love " doesn't last that long, but contentment and affection does.
Absolutely
Her voice is so beautiful 🪄
yes yes I was thinking exactly the same
She sounds much younger than she is.
I know, she seems so sweet! 😊
Have faith in Jesus alone to be saved.❤
@@IloveJesus777j77
No truer words were ever spoken!
Going on 50 years with my wife and this nice lady is absolutely right.
She's right, if it doesn't work out, it's sad.
James.. congratulations 🎊 to you and you wife. You are blessed to have one another. ❤
I was married 25 years and I still miss him so yes it is very sad, especially for the one who doesn't want the divorce. I just turned 60 and I still have so much love for the right man but I'm waiting on God to find him for ❤ God bless all those reading this and in search of the right person 🙏
God Bless You
You have each other. We all have our personality. In a relation important to be forgiving and unselfish
I love listening to old people speak. Every word is so well thought out and chosen. Every sentence is intentional. Very valuable life lessons.
I miss my elders too. 💜💜💜
She’s articulate, sensitive and beautiful.
@ouvretagueule Yeah, I got that.
And the guy interviewing her is so sweet. His face when she said she wasn’t looking…..I had to watch twice.
She is .
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤like her
Indeed she is a lovely lady. She has two very important and attractive qualities: Confidence and Contentment.
What a nice and distinguished lady.
Those are very good lessons. 👍
She also said: “Lots of lingerie, toys, lube, plugs…you gotta be a wild cat in the sack”. 😅 (Alexa, play Doo Doo Brown, by Too Live Crew. Granny gotta pop dat boo-tay!)
👍
Wise too. Hope the young guy listened to her.
“Distinguished” is truly an excellent, spot-on word for this beautiful lady 👌🏽🙏🏽🫶🏽
Definitely ❤👏🤝👌💯
I'm 70. This lady is completely correct. I'd add that you must speak respectfully, even when you're upset.
Thank you , God is showing me how to do that with my wife as well!
Nothing wrong with righteous anger. Even Jesus was upset at one time.
@@leafyutubeYou can be angry and show anger without using slurs or words purposefully meant to hurt your partner.
@@DynamicUnreal The problem with many marriages are not those words but what triggered those words in the first place.
Totally agree. Respect is big. Something I wish I had learned earlier
I’m 72 and have been widowed 3 years. If I were to be looking now I would look for a great friend who loves me, listens to me, and respects me as I do them. ❤ Having a friend is way more important than fancy things.
Good luck
I found my best friend. I didn't know it at the time. Our personalities complemented each other. Her strengths were my weaknesses and vice versa. We were a team. Rest in Heaven, Joy 😊😊😊
😢
There will be a reunion. Blessings! ❤
I'm sorry for your loss, Joy is with you always and I'll bet she won't let you chose anyone BUT your best friend 😊 ❤🙏
When did you realise that she was your best friend?
This is beautiful to read. Thank you for sharing. May your beautiful memories of your time with Joy sustain you until you meet again ❤
My wife and I have had many arcs, in our relationship, but we are still obsessed with each other after 30 years together. I knew the moment I met her that we were going to go on adventures together. We still support each other, have children together, and we remember to be forgiving (within reason); to be nice to each other. I am just glad a beautiful woman, like her is in my life, she is a gift from the gods, and I am privileged to be her partner in life ❤!
How sweet 🤍 thanks for sharing. Gives some of us hope out there
You’re raving about her in a random comments section even after 30 years? 😂😂😂
I wish you both so many more years of good health, amazing experiences and beautiful days❤
How long did you take to decide when to marry your wife? Genuinely curious😊
@@moonchildcloset Not long, two years of dating:)
Wow that sounds beautiful
I don't know about you, but that gentle "No" she gave when she said she's not on the market had all the grace in the world. You can tell she's so settled in her soul where she's at. Beautiful clip.
That hurt me. I know she’s in her later later years but man she deserves unconditional love (based on this clip) it hurts that she’s made peace in being alone till death :(
Yes that struck me too. She is strong.
I think that she might have felt a bit patronized by the question. She didn’t indulge him in the way that he was implying an, “Of course you’re not.” And then the joke about how he’s bummed that she’s not on the market. (As to say “Of course I’m not bummed.”)
But she was having none of it. She ignored the implications and responded about it in a serious tone.
What is the meaning of on the market?
@@NonoNana-et9we Be looking for someone to date.
Sadly, in recent years people have taken to call "market" to what we used to call "look for your special someone".
I’m 81 and my husband of 23 years just left me. Her words are right on.
😢sorry to hear that
Terrible , but maybe another awaits .youre free
@@artparty222murphy9 - Were you submissive to him and were you respectful to him?
Lmao good luck finding someone
@VAIO294 I mean
She is humble and sweet. God strengthen her and fill her heart with Joy.
❤
If only the young fools will deeply understand the wise words she is saying.At her age what will be more beautiful than having her old partner
strolling along at the weekly local
market
Amen
She is a very logical thinker with no room for silliness. I love how refined and clear her diction is.
Yes. People speak so fast and without clear diction it is hard to understand what people are saying these days.
We've been married for 48 years. I get up every morning and realize how much I love this man. How I feel when he walks thru the door and smiles at me. My heart still beats faster. He's a true friend and lifes companion. We were married at 18 and decided to make it work thru all the hard times. I'm glad we did.
Cuteee
How do you keep the love alive?
God bless you!❤
Did you work?
Like #100🤗 I wish you both, 48 more years together. My parents have been married for 50 years. (51 yrs, this July)
This lady is 100% correct. I hope she finds happiness, and lots of hobbies to keep her from feeling lonely. I feel that she's sweet and very honest.
Yes authentic
Friendship is best relationship.
I married my best friend but neither of us were passionate for the other
@@pattimaeda6097 Really? How's the marriage going?
I love my friends but usually don't want passionate love with them. With that said, I'm very fortunate if I would find that.
As long as the guy is not friend zoned it could work.
Women tend to friend zone the BETA Males and are attracted to the ALPHAS.
If there's real respect. Real love and real attraction it would work long term.
Men are usually easy to please. Women on the other hand are harder to please and usually leave (80% divorce initiated by women) because of female Hypergamy. They get bored and want to level up.
@@pattimaeda6097Are you still together? How has your relationship been working out? Strong friendship can develop into a romantic relationship.
That's exactly what my mother said when my dad passed away. She said, " He was not only my husband, he was my best friend." I've never forgotten that.
This woman is not married. Do you see the difference?
That’s so beautiful but also sad, I’m very sorry for your loss, it sounds like you had very loving parents
@@Michelle-pn9xt How miserable and pathetic must you be to make not just one, but several comments about how a divorced woman’s opinion shouldn’t matter, when it’s obvious that many people, single or married, fully agree with what she has to say? She’s obviously learned and grown a lot from her many experiences, and that makes her opinion more valid than anyone’s. If you can’t even see past the fact that she’s a divorced woman and take the time to really consider the message of her words, then you really can’t consider yourself in a position to give your own advice on such topics.
I agree my husband is my best friend. I’m always excited to hang out with him and do things we like together. In the beginning it was rocky but a few years in and we figured out how to communicate with each other and let each other be ourselves without trying to change the other person. Now instead of arguing with each other about our faults every day we have passionate debates and conversations about things going on in the world it’s fun😊
Never heard that before
So wonderful to hear her speak. Clear, concise, not a filler word in sight.
What's a filler word and how is it seen?
Umm, you know, like whatever.
There are a lot of cut edits though, likely due to filler words. Not a big deal imo, just saying
@@sonicstep swear words are fillers, and "like um" "she's like", "he's like"...stuff you say while you're "oh um like" hesitating
@@sonicstep Like, like, literally, you know!
The key to a long and happy and fulfilling relationship is being with your best friend. I'm 75, feel terrific, and I know friendship is an absolute must. Don't rush into marriage.
"You're not on the market!?" was so sweet.
But her "No" was even sweeter. God bless this pretty lady.
What is the inner meaning of "you are not on the market!?" 🤔 why did he asked that ???
I thought it was disrespectful. - he made an "oh well" gesture, and was basically making fun of her.
He was NOT making fun of her. It was a micro flirt.
@@Magamomma22245someone with social skills 🤦♂️
@@pattyervin7242He meant it as a compliment! She was not at all offended & his comment made me smile. His voice was very kind to her.
I have been married for 11 years, however I have never had a problem with my husband, we were best friends for years and I realized I was having more fun with him than with other guys so I took the first step. Maybe I don’t have a lot of experience but I believe friendship is the most important thing you can have with your partner 😊 hopefully I can grow old with my husband and be together forever.
I pray you and your husband are richly blessed all of your days and are only separated by the end of your lives ❤
Isn’t it amazing that the only prerequisite you had was having ‘fun’ with a man. His decency, kindness, masculinity, competency, hard work ethic, honour, standing by his word, helping others, sobriety etc all the traits that make a man solid meant utterly nothing to you. You picked him based on the most superficial, superfluous piece of crap trait you could and yet it worked out for you.
Heterosexuality for men is a bloody curse. Decency and honour in a man are traits despised by wahmen yet this simp interviews wahmen like a mangy dog.
When are men going to get it?
Had to be your 100th like and 2nd comment 😊
"hold fast to what is fine" (1Thess.5 :21, the Bible)
@@garyneilson3075thanks for finding a good one❤
That's a very sweet, soft spoken and wise elderly lady!!
She's bang on.
I've never heard it put so succinctly.
It's been thirty years for us here, so far. And, we still play together like we're college kids.
Looking forward to whatever is next,
JJ
Hope she will have a safe, healthy, and joyful senior life, surrounded by friends and children.
She mentions she was alone and divorced. I hope she has extended family, but seems content otherwise
Older people have so much to offer and help the younger people, but most of the time not many want to listen. I just want to say thanks for asking her this question!
America doesn't appreciate older people. It's youth oriented.
Older people have lived life. The good/bad. They've gained wisdom.
All seniors aren't Joe Biden.
The older women lead young women astray with bad advice on living your life by sleeping around and partying so they will end up alone like them. In boarder context my generation have learned what not to do from observing the older generations (particularly boomers) who broke the economy.
@@IrishFrank22What a narrow mind you have. There's good and bad in all ages. And boomers didn't break anything, they worked hard to get what they needed, or went without until they could do better. I was raised by that generation.
@@margaretr5701 The boomers caused the recession as they were the legal adults at the time signing contracts to borrow money way beyond their means because of their greed!!!
The boomers and the next generation most certainly did not go without until they could do better. What generation was in charge in 2008?
With regards to my point on older women, I meant what I said because it's true. Women cause 80% of divorces, cheat more, and financially extort men more.
It is clear you have a very closed mind from reality and you have lived a very sheltered and privileged life!
Wisdom so sure of herself and her words
Our elders have So Much to teach us! I LOVE that this young man obviously feels the same!
This woman have good advice however it does not mean all older people are wise because they are not, I saw a short video yesterday, well she accused young people of being selfish, encorage marrying young and have children even if it's hard because they had it hard, well that is super bad advice! People that can't take care of children obviosly should not and it's not selfish to not marry young and decide to not have children. It's not true that if there is a will there is a way. Life is suffering and if you don't have the means to provide for your children you absolutly should not! Then she talked about laces and how important it with a nice home. However people need to be able to afford a nice home and all don't think laces look good. So I would say and elder person that don't talk trash about young people are actually wise otherwise not!
We found the "Okay Boomer" person who can't just say something nice about this lovely woman without spouting their hate towards elderly people in general. You choose to cling to negative stereotypes about them, while accusing them of doing exactly what YOU are doing.
@@LazyIRanch There are wise elderly people and wise young people, it's not about age but many think so. Ofcourse I very much dislike hate towards young people, it's not okay, however I don't think this woman on this particular video hate young people. I believe in the younger generation and I will defend them. Okay boomer was response towards hate against younger people. What is wrong with that? Well you do you.
@@GnosisDharma 'laces' ?...what is being referred to here?
@@M21L35 decorationsstyles of peoples homes.
I love how he really listens intently. ❤
If/when everything else falls away (health, wealth) then yes friendship is so important to have as foundation ✌️
Even without everything falling away.
@@angelwings7930 Exactly!
@@angelwings7930 Obviously! ✌️
Yes
Reminds me of that meme, you know the one where the treasure hunter finds lost treasure and in it is a scroll, that reads, "the real treasure is friendship" and he throws it away in disgust. Ghahahahahah😂
I would also add that before you marry, you should know yourself well enough to be able to know what you are and most importantly, what you would not be able to put up with, because throughout a marriage, there will undoubtedly be things you both don’t like about one another.
@anny I agree 💯❤
Totally agree!
Agreed...know who you are is important takes years or also paying attention...then you dont take bullshit as you are putting in 100 per cent.❤❤❤
Absolutely! I agree.
@jacquuelinesimpson191 I agree. It takes years working on inner self, and it's no picnic in the park. You will face things that you've suppressed for years. I've been doing the work for years (counseling has helped tremendously). And I can say I'm pleasantly pleased. I am more at peace, I handle external problems in a more calm manner, I let go of what I can't control, I'm able to ask myself what role did I play when problems arises; among other things. Im still a work in progress. I manifest and attract love and kindness in my life. ❤️❤️
My husband and I have been together 41 years and we are each others best friend!
Are you sure?
@@Lady-Kawaido you doubt? Then don’t share your weak, intrusive thoughts to others.
That’s lucky and a blessing.
@@zy8753You mean he should not say the truth?
@@blackhokage1744 they don’t need a third party rando stranger with greased fingers, typing their feelings out to deter someone else cos they can’t handle life themselves. 41 years is better than what you or most can do. You celebrate news like this. Congratulate. Not tear down in fear or doubt. Don’t be stupid.
The problem these days, is: It's no longer about love. It's about control and convenience. The happiest people are those who have gained contentment in life. Rather as a couple or single.
The adage "be the person you want to attract" is starting to seem true to me.
You be you. Work on yourself. Be grateful. Then alone or with someone you will have good energy!
Love your comment ❤
🙏💖
I am a woman that suffer from attachments, I am not proud of that. How at my 64 years can learn to be and do all alone?
Greu up in a toxic family, I learned not to love myself nor respect me. In my adult life, intentionally chose my partners relationships to take of me. My form to pay for their care was submission of my part. Say yes to all, of course, that made me very unhappy. I put them in high throne and lower myself. That doesn't work, at the end both parts get tired, one of taking care and I of loosing myself.
Presently, I am married to a narcissist. I dream at night and daydream too of leaving him, but I am like a chained elephant with a small bracelet.
So sorry to hear about your situation. I am also married to a narcissist at 61 and praying for the courage to divorce him. We are not alone as I now realize how many other women are living in these toxic relationships. May we all find our way to a happier and fulfilled life.
@@strongbamboo5947practice daily bringing a new feeling of goodness, love, in remembrance of your past self and past experiences no matter what they were.. in the present, focus your energy on yourself and all that you need to accomplish in your daily life.. this is not about ignoring another person but the prevention of fuelling, energetically another's negative behaviour .. as simplistic as this sounds this can be transformative..
And avoid the narcissists and the ones who support them
Ive had a hard marriage. We are not best friends. I tell my adult children this exact advice. Marry your best friend who makes you laugh, who will be easy to communicate with.
Just playing devils advocate, but what if you are the difficult one from your spouse's POV? What if they see you as the person who cannot communicate?
But can you fall in love with your best friend? Friend is different from spouse. I love my husband but he is not my best friend for sure. And he doesn't love me at all. Sometimes I wonder if my love is an obsession. And I never had any feelings for people who could have been a good match in terms of interests and habits.
I am confused ? Why dating someone you don't enjoy being with ? Why hanging out with someone that you cant communicate with? There is plenty of people , why choose to be in that type of relationship?
What's communicate
@@zacharysherry2910 I am assuming you are not asking the literal meaning. Most probably, in this context she meant carrying day to day conversation in general. Yes, that is important. If one cannot talk to a person without a fight or some kind of altercation or has to be extremely careful while talking or even maintaining silence, the relationship will be difficult to maintain. Life gets really stressful. So while choosing spouse one has to think about that, but the funny thing is most people go with someone who they think they will get along. Their past influences their decisions unfortunately, not their intellect. They don't pay attention to their needs, rather they want something and keep chasing the same.
Bless your heart young man, for making that face after she said she wasn’t available. That was the sweetest.
I think it looked silly. I also think that lady thinks it looks silly.
My husband died four years ago. Now I'm 60 years old and it's impossible to find love when you're old. Unless you have money to buy love and that isn't the kind of love I want.
I think a lot of people misunderstood her,e. she was talking about the time when she was in her 20s, Her advice is you must look for a friend to marry not just anyone you like
@@trishmcl9055It's not impossible to find love when you are older without money. Many people have done it. Some people just choose not to because for very personal reasons. Either choice is a good choice as long as it's the right choice for that person.
Bless your heart mean summ else boo boo 💀💀
Meh, seemed sarcastic
Her honesty is so refreshing ❤ I hope a man finds her soon and give her the love she needs 💕
Men are incapable of loving anyone but themselves
When I say to prospects that we really must be good friends, or there is no point in a relationship if we can not be, I'm often met with puzzled looks. It's the sensible way to go about a relationship. Sure, chemistry is important but not as important as respecting and liking each other.
You're exactly right. There are any number of things that can ruin a sex life. That's especially true if you're married for 50 years. Menopause for women, and impotence for men, are just 2 examples. If you're best friends, and your like eachother there will be many forms of intimacy. Those will get you though the times when you're unable to rely on chemistry. The only thing I would add is that you have to enter a marriage with the intent to work through why hard times, or fights, that will come along. Many people, when they think of getting married, don't spare even a second to recognize that every marriage will have it's rocky times. If you aren't truly committed to weathering any, and all, storms.
Hi p9
Amen
BINGO!
Well said, thanks for your insight.@@BlueEyedMomof378
Very sweet and not bitter. God bless her.
She is a pure blossom ❤ May she continue her adventures with joy and in same peacefulness
It’s so precious how she says “best friend”.
The calmness and not rushed to gst her point accross was so soothing
Agree 100% we all have time to get the point across like this gorgeous woman we just don’t think we have, life is to short anything else. Well done to her❤😊
My husband has been my best friend for 49 years . Marriage is a commitment to each other , we promiced to never give up on eachother. My husband has always stood up for me. He treats me well. He is 72 now, and he is still the most handsome man i have ever met. Dont know what i would do without him. Dont want to find out either. He is my rock , i am so happy he picked me to be in his wife !! HAPPY VALENTINES HONEY ! ❤
That's very sweet. 99.9% of people will never have that. Some of us just accept we won't. It's not a bother. I'm 38 and don't care if I ever date again.
@@ClaireGreen-wd2gm I met him when he returned from Vietnam. I was 16 and he was 21.
Im going on this route with my current bf who also is my best friend, we will get married next year and your comment made me smile and I feel so hopeful because we have the same energy❤🥹🥹thank you so much for sharing 🫂
I have that kind of husband, too. This is marriage - year 44, and we love to review how we met and where we've been together (that's our bedtime story every night🥰). Either one of us will say, tell me a story, and we love to hear the same story....
I knew he was the one on the first date. I knew I was safe with him, and he has been a wonderful provider and protector every day since, and I've been blessed to be his wife and lover.❤
U truely sound a beautiful❤ soul
Don't look for only smartness but marry a person who is gentle and value the meaning of relationship ❤🎉
I accept it. Thank you🎉
Amen🙏🕊💜💯
True
Please. Anyone wanting to get married. Wait. Wait until at least 35. You will be older and more mature. You'll have a more stable plan. And most of all. Don't give up. Don't you dare give up. You push forward no matter what. And at all costs protect and provide for your family.
👍 Thanks
I love her openness. What a beautiful lady.
I am a 76 year old widow and she is spot on. I was 20 and not looking but met a man , 22, and we clicked. Same values and goals, same sense of humor and same passion. I told my kids to imagine themselves with their spouse sitting on the porch, having a hard time getting out there, wrinkled and gray, still visiting with each other. If you can’t see it don’t do it.
She seems very sweet, but she's not spot on, you are! She didn't mention sharing the same values, interests and goals. She said find a best friend and passion. Passion deepens. It changes Friendship grows. It develops. You found your best friend because of the three things you mentioned. You were smart!
Or just dont ever let yourself get wrinkled and grey.. imo a much better approach.
Yes! That's great! I say if they are the person that you will be laughing in the bed at night with, hashing the days events with then they are the one.
@@nukya the vows kinda spell it out after biology, tolerance and luck to old age.
@@VelveteenRabbit77 yes one has to be the complice to the other.... that's what the french call it!
I went to a funeral today of a man I knew who was days before turning 89. His first wife died in 2013. He met a widow whose husband had died in 2012. The couple married in 2014 and had a wonderful 9 1/2 years together. I just visited with them around Thanksgiving 2023 and took them dinner and brought groceries for them. I know this lady in the video said she wasn’t looking but I hope love finds her and that she has another 15 years or so being loved. She seems like a sweetheart.
It seems she understands the Bible and Christians cannot remarry unless widowed. Her first spouse May still be living making her bound for life until he passes. It is sad, but Jesus’ disciples said it’s better not to marry. It comes with much hardship and sorrow if marriage is rushed and one doesn’t understand they’ve entered into a covenant that can’t be broken.
I hope she keeps living her life with that wisdom and understanding that can only come from God
❤
@@kfollowstheway138 If there is adultery or unbeliever departs, they can remarry as it explicitly states in the Bible.
@@kfollowstheway138 That's religious bunk...Christians are so arrogant in their absurd beliefs.
@@kfollowstheway138
She is not 'bound for life' 😕
For all we know, he could of been beating her.
The 'bible' is a book, reproduced many times over, and infused with manmade dikdats... Which generally serve to benefit the entire corrupted system of 'organised religion'.
'Live and let live' needs to be the mantra of all religions.
If you do not harm another... Live your life as you choose.
SHE IS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL ❤❤❤
She is authentic and absolutely truthful. 100% serious. Very grounded.
Every great couple that I've known has had that best friend dynamic. It's beautiful. I wish that everyone could experience a happy marriage.
Just like this lady….I am a little younger. I got married at 20 also. Even my former in-laws felt I did everything I could to stay. My ex had some mental issues. My children have been the most important thing I have done. I was the best mom I could be - not perfect, but I did all I could to give them a nice, stable life.
Just like this lady….I am a little younger. I got married at 20 also. Even my former in-laws felt I did everything I could to stay. My ex had some mental issues. My children have been the most important thing I have done. I was the best mom I could be - not perfect, but I did all I could to give them a nice, stable life.
Just like this lady….I am a little younger. I got married at 20 also. Even my former in-laws felt I did everything I could to stay. My ex had some mental issues. My children have been the most important thing I have done. I was the best mom I could be - not perfect, but I did all I could to give them a nice, stable life.
Just like this lady….I am a little younger. I got married at 20 also. Even my former in-laws felt I did everything I could to stay. My ex had some mental issues. My children have been the most important thing I have done. I was the best mom I could be - not perfect, but I did all I could to give them a nice, stable life.
Excellent advice. My wife, Penny and I worked together as EMT/Paramedic partners on the ambulance for many years (decades). We were a great team on and off duty, building a successful life. We suffered and sacrificed together.
I knew Penny for 43 great years. Unfortunately, she passed away suddenly in 2020.
I love and miss you, my wonderful wife. But life goes on.
Sorry for your loss! 😢
Leave out the “but life goes on” part. It’s true but it killed anything romantic that you’d said.
@angelwings7930 You are entitled to your opinion. However, it is a phrase my wife used on numerous occasions. So, I plan on keeping it in.
@@angelwings7930I will kindly say no it doesn't 😅
@@angelwings7930Right man it sound like she’s dispensable but he has a personal story behind it…. Everyone has their reasons for doing what they do
She reminds me so much of my grandmother in her mannerisms, style and patience, that alone almost made me cry. I miss her every day, even if this woman didn't have kids, I hope she has a support network, she seems so lovely and introspective.
She is beautiful inside and out, and has wisdom. 💙
I wish wisdom wasn’t wasted on the young. She has so much insight at 77 than she ever could have at 27 that I bet she would make a far better choice this time around in selecting a partner. I know that I would.
She is not married.
@@Michelle-pn9xt And the sun is round, your point being?
@@checkmattee222 😂
Wisdom at the end of the life !!!!!😢
I work with seniors. I love them so much! Their wisdom, their stories, their presence are precious pearls. There is so much to learn from them. Each has journeyed a different road. I'm thankful they are in my life. Such a blessing. ❤
Precious pearls indeed. I love that!
Absolutely love the oldies. I've had my fair share of working in aged care and just absolutely love old people. ❤😂😊
I love the elders too
Such a great job I imagine. What is some wisdom you took from them / what did you learn?
AMEN 🙏 GOD BLESS
She's absolutely right, you have to find your best friend. Nowadays, people are looking for the "hot guy" or the "hot girl" or someone who makes a lot of money. Nobody is looking for the ones that will stimulate your mind and soul.
Nothing new about that, been that way for all my 73 years. Had a few " best friend" women in my life. They were always looking for a handsome prince to sweep them off their feet. And then married some some alpha loser, with a guitar or Corvette.
Most of the married people I know are average looking.
exactly
Very well stated 😊
@@ramblerdave1339 - The Vette get'em wet. Know what I'm saying?
This! 100%. Not only the importance of being with your best friend but to love them passionately. There must be passion ♥️
Indeed. Every succesful marriage i know has a strong foundation of friendship as a base. Passion may come and go but caring/kindness, respect and admiration, if you lose that, the relationship is over. You have to be like a team and on the same team. Is crucial. Don't just get married because society pressures you or you feel lonely. Learn to build that kind of foundation with someone before you take this step
This is why we respect random elders in our culture and touch feet and seek blessings from them.
There's a reply RUclips is hiding from me.
❤❤❤
I have a foot phobia. How else to show respect?
@@_asantesana_squashbanana_ as long as you don't have respect phobia it's alright. Show respect the way you can.
Bless her she speaks truth but mixing that into today’s culture is difficult. Our grandparents era was a great time for real love through tough times and all . Now people cheat or leave because they are bored or don’t value relationships and love like the olden days ❤
She is precious.
Thank you for sharing your time with her.
God bless her honesty and open heart. That's the mark of a real human being. Take note .
Amen to what she said about marrying your best friend. Feelings fade. That foundation of a really close friendship is forever!!
I didn’t need a best friend. I already had best luck. I was not looking for a best friend. Looking for someone that was my equal. I love horses 🐎 my daddy gave me a horse for my birthday which became my companion.
I’m 80 years old now. I still ride my horse 🐎 we ride we go on long rides. My horse 🐎 likes to swim we swim the Rio Grande 😂 we take mud baths. He’s a fun horse 🐎 ❤
Your best friend is in the friend zone so she was not clear on the nature of women
❤ Please say it loud for the people in the back.
@@anitahernandez1644 Your nature as a woman doesn't desire someone you view as equal you want someone who is superior to you. A man that you feel is above you is going to be one you feel can make you feel safe, someone you can admire, look up to, follow, and submit to
Thank you, interviewer, for being such a gentleman at your age.
I agree. It's nice to see young men still be respectful
You act like us young men can’t be respectful 💀
It’s not about age, it’s about being mature
He made fun of her for not being on the market, not nice
@@mrm1885 I did not take it that way at all and I'm a 70 yo woman.
Quite frankly I thought it was sweet @@mrm1885
You need someone who is fully committed.
Someone who is willing to choose you every day, for their whole life.
Someone who is faithful in every way.
Someone with a forgiving heart.
Someone who can compromise.
Someone who is humble.
Someone with a good sense of humour.
Someone with the same expectations, goals, lifetime vision, and moral views etc... as you ❤
Yeah right! If you expect all that from someone you'll spend your entire life never finding it. That's jjust utopian thinking
@@mikeb5372 I married him/one ❤️
@@mikeb5372No... those are my parents. That's also me, though single, because I have chosen the right models. One need not despair of at least ONE'S SELF becoming that person...
@@hymnodyhands I agree with the first 5 points. The rest is not necessarily true and the last part is expecting some sort of perfection, in which case being forgiving and willing to compromise become moot. If you have the same expectations, goals, lifetime vision and moral views then what is there to compromise or forgive? No two people have the same everything like that, that's why compromise comes into play
I married at 21 and he was a 22. We went to Cana Conferences that helps you discern your vocation. You do have to marry someone that will accept you in all aspects and moods. October 16,1971 was our wedding day. We are doing just fine😅
She is very strong at her age. Beautiful lady.
I just love the way she speaks, so calming
I noticed 😅❤
Right? Like I want to listen to her narrate an audiobook about bunnies or something
Well, when you've been through so much 💩 in life and have figured life out like never before, it only makes sense to speak at your own pace and have formed opinions and advice about important topics of life. With each passing year, I find it not necessary to speak much and care much about what anyone thinks. My focus in life is to be kind, spread kindness, surround myself with God fearing individuals and build a good reputation with Him, afterall there's life after death.
❤❤❤
I love listening to most elderly ppl, they'rejust filled with a lot of wisdom😊
Absolutely, but sadly,
in our ageist society, the elderly are treated now like burdensome imbeciles to be laughed at. There is little respect for older people now. Where society once revered their elders, the children of the elderly are now mocking their parents and can’t wait to be shut of them. Though this is not always the case for the most part society has taken a disgraceful turn in this direction. It’s sad but its true. I see it time and again in the media, but especially among my older friends who constantly complain of disrespect from their adult children.
....yesssss!!!
yesss!!....the wisdom of the elders - priceless!
@@bernieoconnell5515Sad this is true, not all the time though...But you stated it so eloquently. Thank you 🙏
She is absolutely correct. The person has to be your best friend. If not, you’re in for a heap of misery.
Like me
So true my love has passed but he made me laugh and I could tell him anything and we would chat for hours.
Modern day woman don't want a friend. They want Chad or Tyrone.
And who will love you passionately, don't forget those words. Otherwise it's just a friend. Passion and love are real and important
@@marte1376 no, that's too much to ask. I love my wife as much as ever, and she's my best friend, but after 22 years we're not as passionate and shouldn't expect to be.
Such a sweet lady. I’ll be 70 in one month. I married my best friend and we had some awful times, but underneath all that, we genuinely loved each other. We were together 33 years before he died. The last words we ever spoke to each other were “I love you Robin” and “ I love you too Timothy” and we sat looking at each other across the room for a long time. He gave me the best hugs I ever had in my life. I miss that more than anything. Those tender hugs.
Maybe you will meet again
I married my best friend at 21. Was with him since 17. Still didn't work out. People grow and end up on different paths. Abuse happens. You can remarry if that's what you chose. I chose to stay alone. Never again because no matter how you love, people change
People do change... that's so true. I think your chances of marital success improve if you and your spouse are on the same path so you grow and change in alignment with each other. This is more likely if your communication is strong and you spend a lot of time together.
I also agree that marrying young can hurt your chances. When you're that young, it's easy to marry for the wrong reasons, or not thoroughly know the character of the person you are marrying.
Some women try changing their partner as well. That man will never be a different person and must love whom they are for whom they are passionately. I know some men that had to give up all there hobbies and there whole identity no more fishing or hunting or golfing trips or fixing up hotrods 😅
Alot of people below 25 don't know what they want and Pretty much all women by 30 want to be married for usually all the wrong reasons not even knowing the person hardly
Marriage has nothing to do with age but everything to do with maturity
People aren't who they're truly going to be until they're age 26 and above as the brain hasn't fully developed until that time. It's why people shouldn't get married too young. 20 is not mature enough of an age to make a marriage work when difficulties arise. It's unfortunate that he was abusive in your marriage. Not your fault. But don't let that discourage you. There are good men who are not abusive.
Such a charming lady. I love this channel ! The interviewer has such compassion for the elderly, and he is wise beyond his young years.
Thank you so much
I'm 71 shortly, and marrying my love of nine years this year. My best friend and I go tramping/hiking regularly. It keeps us loving and supporting as our journeys are strenuous and challenging.
Beautiful! Very happy for you both 💛🙏🏽
She really has it together. Wisdom comes with age. She seems to have achieved contentment.❤
She is very wise. I married my best friend almost 50 years ago. We were both younger than this lady but because we were best friends we are still together.
Its not that simple bcuz many times best friends can become strangers or even enemies
Exactly. Once the friendship dynamic transitions into romantic love, it's TOTALLY different. And it can most certainly end badly. I know from experience, sadly.@@Jblah
How did you start your relationship? As friends first or lovers who also became friends?
I can relate to her!!! She is very smart & beautiful & very informative about marriage.
She generously shared her disappointment to help others. Authentic lady. It’s not easy “to be on the market” when you have struggled in a relationship. Thank God she was able to sustain herself.
Humans have always sustained with or without others… life moves individually independently for all. It’s a bonus, privilege, or lots of detriment to have another join you.
I’m 66 I met my husband when I was 23. He died when I was 42. He was my best friend and he was my very best friend. We had water balloon fights and we enjoyed each other and traveled. We had two kids and did so much together.my world collapsed when he died. I never married again because I couldn’t find anyone close to being like him. He was a person I could forgive and he was a black man that even those who were prejudice liked him. He was a very giving person. If I found someone like him again I could see dropping everything to do it again. I’m coming to a time in my life I’m near the end. He made my life complete.
❤❤❤
42 is so young. Sorry for your loss 🙏🏿
My condolences. What a special relationship the two of you had! May you be blessed to find another one, which might be different but just as wonderful.
❤ I hope you find someone similar…66 is young
❤
"It's hard" I used to take care of seniors with dementia and alzheimers. One thing I heard often was that "getting old isn't for sissies!" 😂 Now I'm in my 60s and brother, let me tell you, they were spitting facts! My advice is *keep moving.* Be active, because if you slow down you will pay for that. Try to walk every day. When you're watching television, stretch. If you stop stretching and moving you will regret it.
She said the key… Choosing someone that is your best friend that you can love passionately… I over heard my dad tell my son, “if I just loved your grandma, I’d left the relationship along time ago, because you can love anyone from afar, but I stay because I really, really, really, really LIKE who she is and what she stands for for (and she’s great looking and a good cook).. I’ve never forgotten that..❤️
Sometimes though it is better to live your own life, and bring friends into your life.
That’s going to be my objective during the next chapter of my life.
Marriage or a long term romantic relationship is not for everyone...
@@patriciaroberts308why not though 🤔?
@@JjDakine2023 because there’s more to life than having a partner… people act like that’s the only reason we came into existence for…
@@eheheh3263 we exist to be together lol. Nobody can live in a vacuum. wether or not you want a relationship is your choice but it doesn’t change the fact it’s a human beings biological imperative to mate. Just like any other animal. What other reason do we have to exist other than to mate and procreate and carry on the future? Life is is about people. A life of being self focused until you die seems depressing…..
After 50 years of marriage, the real secret is not searching for the perfect person but learning to love an imperfect person.
That's a very good way to put it, very wise, thank you.
So True!! As Long as there is give and Take from Both Sides - and it is Not a One-Way street of giving i.e. only one person giving whilst the other keeps taking...
@@joannajones8533so funny you so this because it’s my life with my wife who has a mental illness just endless giving with little taking for endless years and I try my hardest to make it work but I for see a day that I will walk away…
Yawn 🥱
That's beautiful. None of us are perfect, but to have those around us love us and to love them, that's a blessing. 😊
She's right. Your spouse is your best friend, your love, your partner in life and you soul mate.
Good luck with that lol
Lies we tell ourselves
My spouse is none of these things. I view her as my responsibility, which is the way I get by every day. I'm not saying she is a bad, but we are just completely different people whose interests and plans cannot align for the most part. 20 years this year.
not in our culture, its very hard to find someone that is appropriate, just love without condition and hope that you chose a good one
@@purgethehereticthat's not good lol
@@purgethehereticDo you love her? Was your marriage arranged?
Beautiful Message! She’s beautiful!!!
She is so beautiful.
All the best to her 🤍
True. I’ve been married 16 years….marry your best friend. Marry someone who makes you laugh, and someone who you can go on lots of adventures with!❤
May you have many more. I'm an introvert so I'm definitely looking for someone who loves to travel and is curious about life and makes me laugh. 🙏🙏
My best friend is married
@@sappybbHopefully to you?!
God bless her. She speaks the truth
Nobody understands what it means to be married until they've been married a decade or so.
*_Your best friend._* Exactly, y’all! That person in your life who doesn’t cherish you or have your best interest in mind? Don’t walk, RUN!!! 🏃♀️
Before you get married. Once married with children, you stick it out.
@@amysill3815
Thanks for being real! I think even the best of marriages have their challenges and problems-and probably on a regular basis. Marriage isn’t easy, so it’s best to choose wisely. ❤️ And you’re right-it shouldn’t be entered into lightly, and most people need to stick it out.
Run Run Run davon 😊😊🎉🎉
I love your username ❤
@@littlelemon1783
Aww, thank you so much! I’m sooo thankful for my relationship with Jesus. He truly is where my deepest sense of peace comes from. Blessings to you!! 🙏🏻❤️
Absolutely correct. My husband and I married our best friends-each other. We are still in love decades later, and we still make each other laugh every day.
Why is it imperative that you should make the other laugh!?
@@anarivera8852if you know you know.
To ease the tension in every day life. The muscles in the face when they are stretched make the whole body relaxed.
Blessings
God bless this wonderful Lady.
Why? Hope her Ex had a nicer women as she is.
@@Benjamin-mx1vf ??
How beautiful. I also appreciate the respectful way he speaks to her. She’s definitely a woman of substance.
Dear Lady You are amazingly honest .. getting married too young really signals the fact that we change and grow. Some of us don’t know anything yet….. we are late bloomers!!
I'm one too! I did the same. Got married at 20. Didn't really know myself. Sadly I was married but he wasn't. Still hoping after all these years tho
I am so grateful these times now women do not have to stay home until married ( at least in my country ) and now have the freedom to never be married if choose to remain unwed ( unless the Lord has other plans ). Also, can now marry at later age, and it is encouraged to be educated and have right finances and not be in debt first. I understand things happen after marriage, but at least now, now can begin marriage with a fridge full of food instead of barely a container of milk. Women can now work if husband agrees instead of him taking on a second job.
You can't blame it on age. The option is not to divorce. If the state gave you zero dollars, and you couldn't to take half to 70% of the man's income, then most people wouldn't get divorced. Choosing door number 2. Smh.