She’s cool and positive but I wish she would just ask a question and let Doctor Mate finish his sentences. She often interrupts and speaks over him. I’m eager to hear everything he has to share with us. Not all her long winded comments about her and her issues. Let the brilliance of this man shine and be heard…please!
As a Canadian, I consider him a National Treasure. I think his work is key to helping almost everyone in our super sick culture. Thanks for bringing him to a wider audience.
He has!!!!! I have not stopped! I see his name and click! I can hear him repeat everything everyday because that one small fraction of understanding changes my life, my intellect! I love him! ❤
I am an Indigenous artist from Manitoba, Canada and I am a fan of Dr. Gabor Maté. Before contact, Indigenous ontology was about interrelationality; recognizing that humans are one small part of the universe and our relationships to plants, animals, environment, community, etc. is an important part of our survival. Children were sacred beings and were never denied anything. They were surrounded by community and everyone had a role in supporting their needs and teaching them to be sentient beings. We never had prisons and through experience we created checks and balances to prevent greed. When conquers, settlers and well meaning religious groups forced their ontological understandings onto my ancestors, it was done with violence and policies that disempowered generations of people. Residential (church run) schools took children away from their families, language and culture to experience a foreign way of life that centred around abuse and discipline. What Gabor never mentioned was that the majority of people in Canadian prisons is Indigenous People and the East side of Vancouver is also made up of mostly Indigenous People. I have been learning about the old ways and I now go to ceremony. Much of what Gabor talks about, I hear the same lessons in the teachings from elders. I wish our voices-Indigenous ontologies, pedagogies and epistemologies-had a platform because we have have been silenced for too long. The Indigenous People carry so much wisdom that can help guide us to a brighter future. Thank you for your program, it is always a joy to hear about healing.
So well stated & explained. This comment so enlightened me. Write a book for us. I so wish i could join you in this journey & ceremony. I am so moved by thrse words, things I knew but didn’t know. Spirit bless you in all things. ♥️
Thank you for your comment in light of the recent news of indigenous people being tricked and lied to about schooling ,support and such. It wounds me deeply in the name of faith, Christianity or caring that a whole race was affected by not good meaning individuals but by by a nation of I’ll learned men took away families, cultures, rights and more than they could realize in truth of the importance of the natural healing, the importance of nature, Mother Earth, family causing afflictions, addictions and wounds so deep it’s unspeakable until people like yourself remind us all of the harm done to so many by so few.. we are all one and need to support each other.
The movies "Black Robe" and "The Mission" brought these themes home to me in South Africa ... It makes me 😭😭😭 ... the rape of innocence and convolusions of cultural/catholic practices that twisted humans into pretzels!!!
My god this was hard to listen to - she interrupted him every sentence to let him know she knew what he was talking about, agreed with him, who he mentioned. He was so patient! I aim to be more like him and less interruptive myself - I do this too and got to see what it looks and sounds like. Fascinating, illuminating conversation. I came to many of these revelations on my own as I faced my addiction issues in late adulthood. Sarno was my start and Mate confirms so much of what I came to believe about our damaged psyches seeking fulfillment in an insane world.
She probably nervous and wants to have validation that she is knowledgeable enough to have a seat at the table. Good feedback for her, if she yields to it.
Yes, it's terrible to watch because of her interrupting all the time, there is a lot of masculine energy in her, she speaks in a very irritating way, too fast and in a very bossy way, the nervous laughter adds to the discomfort of watching a very interesting apeaker
@@ekk.k she speaks in a masculine way? The f? There's no masculine or feminine way of talking. Or do you mean a woman should sit back and be seen but not heard? You're letting your misogyny show.
As a person who has been economically disadvantaged my whole life, I want people to know that you can find healing without resources most people think they need. Jonathan said it. You don't need a shaman a healer or even Rx medication. All healing comes from the self. Breakdown is a wonderful resource in learning what one needs to achieve self healing. I'm so grateful for these two people.
I so agree and thank you Tanisha for echoing what Jonathan said. This podcast is my go-to for discovery and help for self-healing. As a senior on Social Security my funds are limited so resources like Mayim's podcast are incredibly fabulous and so appreciated. Thank you, Mayim and Jonathan!
Yes this. Mayim the effects of your childhood trauma are showing in your desire to get Dr. Mate's approval with your understanding of the concepts he so brilliantly wove together into this masterpiece of a book. It's as if you were so validated that this compassionate brilliant man put down in words what you have recognized and felt intuitively for years, that you forgot he (and not you) was the expert and main attraction and you were the interviewer!
Thank you! I was very disappointed in Mayim. Sheb looks like she’s hopped up on something and can’t calm down. I thought she would be more self aware, being a neuro scientists. shm
I'd like humbly to suggest to Ms. Bialik that people are more interested in hearing her guests' express their knowledge and experience than in hearing Ms. Bialik's expressions of similar. To Ms. Bialik, perhaps count how many times during these 98 minutes you complete Mr. Mate's sentences, put words in his mouth, or cut him off before he completes his sentence. Also, you might compare the total number of minutes you speak vs. same for Mr. Mate. In short, you're a lovely, smart person, and maybe I'm in a minority but I chose this video to watch because I wanted to hear from Mr. Mate. All that said, I enjoyed it and found it worthwhile. :)
@@katrinamusic29Yes, I most DEFINITELY agree that we might have all gotten a chance to learn more from Dr. Mate if she had let him speak. interrupting interviewers!!! grrrrr. I just clicked on this video but I'm not going to watch it. There are many others with Dr. Mate where he is POLITELY allowed to speak!
I got triggered listening and watching her antics…… 😂😂in all seriousness, it gave me anxiety seeing her play with her hair and all of these interruptions. She needs to learn how to do interviews.
Obviously Mayim was very excited about meeting this extraordinary man and so perhaps she was unconscious of the constant interruptions she made. I thought he handled it In his masterful way, never putting anyone down.
Maybe it’s the Jewess nerd in me or maybe it’s my AuDHD but I loved it. Mayim asked great questions and it was a wonderfully authentic interview. Her interruptions were generally on topic and served to take the conversation to some interesting places. I guess the teacher in me appreciates the spontaneous questions of the eager student.
Yeah, I noticed that too. Like she was unconsciously looking for some sort of validation at being "knowledgeable" about the subject already, and not letting the actual expert speak. It was admittedly difficult to listen to this interview.
I’m a 63 year old woman who has CIDP, Sjorgrens, Lupus and hashimotos. I KNEW intuitively that my childhood abuse played a key role in why I have so many autoimmune issues. I’m sobbing. I just ordered Gabor’s book. Thank you for this interview!
Hi Crystal. You are not alone. I am about to turn 60. I have fibromyalgia and Sjogrens and CPTSD. We all need to hold each other up. There are so many folks out there like us.
You'll be better, you'll see. I know you will. My late Mom used to say, when things are bad, food comes first. Eat super clean, anti-inflammation foods. It's hard but SO worth it. It has kept me alive, honestly.
My wife and I have watched Dr Maté discussing this latest book on a half-dozen other podcasts over the past month and learned from every one of them. But you, Mayim, and Jonathan connected and engaged with him in a way that none of the others did. Easily one of the best and most substantive podcasts you’ve ever done. 🙌✨❤️
@@MayimBialik I agree too!!! This conversation was HUGE!!!! This will be required watching for everyone in my social circle!!! I can't put into words how amazing this conversation was. His work is incredible, and your conversation made it (all the topics) feel so much more relatable and obtainable and fixable and hopeful. It feels so intuitive and I'm eager to explore what I am saying yes to when I do better saying no. (More sewing, more time with my kids, more reading)
I love this man, have read his books and heard his lectures. I am so sad that Mayim CANNOT stop obsessively interrupting him to the extent that the power of his personality and articulation was sustantially lost here.
@Northern Light Nothing enjoyable about “bubbleness” that interrupts an introvert’s train of thought at all times. To be a good interviewer you need to be a good listener and be able to control the instinct of vocalizing every single thought that pops up in your head.
"Bubbly" is not what I saw. I saw a narcissitic need for it to be "about me" and the inability to get quiet with herself. Gabor is tolerant of these things, a therapist and a good listener. He also has a book he needs to get out in front of the public, so he behaved appropriately and with compassion.. I do not blame Mayim as she can't help it as of yet in her process, but it is clear that she should work on it if she wishes her guests to be heard.
When you guys said that when kids see that there's no room for their needs they will not express their needs I felt so seen. Thank you for this episode it was very insightful!
Oldest daughter of an alcoholic & a narcissist. ‘Perfectionist Fixer’. My picture is beside the mental health textbook where family dynamics are described. Severe spine/pain issues are how my damage presents.🤷🏼♀
@@annasan451 Welcome to the Fixer Club, Annasandra. Get ready to age more quickly & to end up with some major illness. Sorry, but that is what Dr. Mate’ says in his book.😔
Good interview. I recommend the interviewer to hold herself back a little bit more for next time though, and to pay more attention on not interrupting him.
I've always know deep in my bones that women married to man-babies and still work to foot bills have signed themselves uo for a life of misery and diseases. I see it happening all the time. The pampered men looks healthy whilst they are struggling with obesity, anxiety disorder and depression. I'm getting this book for myself
So as a man how do I fit in with this theory ? . I do everything and more. I despise the helpless feeling I feel if a woman even attempts to pamper me .
I love the conversation about parenting. I grew up in Senegal, West Africa, and babies are constantly attached to their moms. They literally spend the whole day attached!
Always inspiring to hear Dr. Maté speak. Would be wonderful to not have him constantly being interrupted by the host. His words and wisdom are so valuable, this host needs to practice active listening.
I can understand the excitement and passion that motivated Mayim’s behavior during this interview. When your life is so profoundly changed by something and you know how much the world needs it, it’s hard to rein in that excitement. Honestly, her ability to have that authentic experience with Gabor was like a therapy session for her, to have her feelings validated. Because I’ve read his work, I didn’t feel like I missed much because of the interruptions. I’m glad to know that he valued Mayim’s authentic expressions of appreciation.
Thank you for this podcast and interview. I just thanked God - the decision to leave my toxic unavailable family of origin at 19 was the best decision of my life. I learned to re-parent myself, love myself, like myself and respect myself. At 61 I'm still learning and experiencing ongoing freedom, and more fun and adventure than ever before. I pray for everyone here in this community. You can do it!🙏♥️
The best advice I ever received in my life was at 17 from a therapist at my university health service: “ Leave your parents. Never look back. Never go back to them for anything, ever.” I was too frightened of my father to take that advice and it ruined my life. I am now 64. I tell anyone who will listen - which is very few - get away from toxic families - siblings, parents - ALL. Change your name. Start a new life. You will NOT regret it. You form your own new families with friends. This works just fine. This is the only way you can stop the cycle of abuse. If you were abused please don’t have children. Why do you want that? You will wreck their lives without meaning to. It’s possible it could turn out ok, but it’s very, very unlikely. Love the children of others. Be there for THEM.
@@rs5570 I am the one that is rejected by everybody; I think because I am too needy and angry at the way I am treated with contempt by people. It is very hurtful and has been a lifelong problem. So I could not leave my family, although at one time I did try to make anew life away from thoughts of them, thinking other people would like me. I was wrong. Even my family is cold and contemptuous towards me. I don't know how to have a feeling of worth or get in touch with my true self. I wish I was not born and I want to exit this life. I wish there was a dignified euthanasia system where people are actually treated nicely for once, just as they are killed.
Wow 19!! I'm 45 & still trying not to care about my abusive family & break ties w my toxic narcissist mother ! I live w her . What my life could have been if I had your courage 😢 I'm gonna use you as inspiration ❤
As a colon cancer ex-patient that was sure before reading anything about body-mind connections that somehow my “body has said NO” to the worst stressful moment in my life, I realize I fulfil/led all Dr. Maté’s and all Mayim’s “ding-dings🔔” about people who tend to get sick: 1. Tend to put other’s people’s emotional needs compulsively on themselves (from being first of six siblings kind of surrogate mom for other five from my 10 years old and counting afterwards..) 2. Tend to put duties and responsabilities first rather than themselves (a successful professional with much pressure trained from early childhood to endure responsabilities) 3. Tend to repress healthy anger not setting clear boundaries (both in family and profession..) 4. Feeling responsible for what people’s feel and don’t want to disapoint anyone (It costs me a cancer to realize that “we’re born to be real, not perfect”) Said that, how I love Dr. Maté’s words “I WORRY FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE VERY NICE”: Yes and yes, some of us need to learn to be “good selfish ones”. And Mayim’s golden phrase that resume a lot of our western culture sufferings: “HUMAN BEINGS ARE TRAINED TO GO AGAINST OUR OWN INSTINCTS IN THIS CULTURE” To be both framed! How I adore and are thankful to this podcast and specially for this TRUE GEM of episode. I only can say to Mayim, Jonathan and Dr. Maté a heartfeld THANK YOU.
"HUMAN BEINGS..." reminded me of an interview of psychologist Ronald Goldman, PhD where he said mothers of infants shouldn't go against their instincts. He wrote the book on how circumcision causes boys to lose trust in their mom, and become men who hate women. I read that Maxim was raised in a non-religious family but she decided to convert to a strict form of religion which is why she decided to get her son circumcised. She went against her instincts to protect her child. It is the ultimate betrayal. Circumcision is perhaps the most painful neonatal procedure, according to the book "Birth Trauma and the Dark Side of Modern Medicine".
Ok..... like another lady wrote, I'm in tears. Lifelong issues from childhood trauma & a lifetime of counseling, & medication. At last, at 72 I've come to the point that I feel I'm healed & healthy. I adore Dr. Gabor, but wasn't going to buy his book because I feel (well, felt) that I'm ok & have figured it all out. My tears tell me I have more to learn & understand. Thank you for this wonderful interview. 💖 oh, and I've ordered the book. 😊
My children are now young adults. In staying firm in my beliefs that I wanted them to be at home with me for the first 5 years, breastfed for the first 2, let them be in their natural state as much as possible regarding their appearance, feeding them organic foods and being in tune with the sunrise and sunset timeline, they led natural lives. Fast forward now, really grounded, polite self aware adults who care for themselves and others on a higher level.
You just validated every instinct I've had as a mother and I realized that especially this past year I have been almost constantly sick and I think it's because I give and give and give. I'm an emergency room nurse. I'm a homeschooler. I'm a mother. I'm a wife. I'm a friend. I am looking at the end of this year and I can remember who I was but not who I am. I've been sick so often I'm exhausted and broken. I need to be like a baby and make my needs known and be a bit selfish for a while.
Could not have been better stated. My doctor told me this same thing about myself and, in his view it is still a 'role' that society primarily pushes women into.
@@milenagielas8184 that's just absolutely dismissive as hell. The OP is trying to acknowledge she needs to make herself a priority and you're blaming a vaccine? 🤦🏼♀️ yes, because until 2 years ago all moms/nurses/wives/teachers didn't put everyone else first.
" A child who's needs are not responded to, will stop asking for their needs to be met", this rings so true. I was brought up in a Kibbutz in Israel, back in those days we as children were sleeping in a children house, not with our parents, from infancy. Years later a classmate of mine studied psychology, he told me that many researches showed that infants in infants houses in the Kibbutzes do not cry, since they learned it's fruitless, no one is there to comfort them when they do any way. This of course has a very big impact on the personality of the person this infant will grow up to be. Thank you Mayim and Jonathan for bringing Dr. Gabor, one of the most eye opening conversation I've heard for a while.
@@liz-iy6zm Yeah, people back then thought it's a reasonable way to raise children, not knowing the long term implications, now it's all changed and children are sleeping in their parents apartments.
I am so hungry to hear what Dr Gabor Mate has to say. In a nut shell, He deciphers the wheat from the chaff… I am almost in my six decade. I started thinking no one can help or fix my broken self,it’s to late…🤔 Now I feel there is still hope to heal and move forward. What a remarkable man🤗🙏🏻
As soon as you figure out how holding onto it has benefited you and how it has not and then, forge in the direction opposite of everything you’ve known…..”the pain to remain the same must be more greater than the pain it’ll take to change,”……Nothing can exist until we first think it, then visualize it then believe it and it’ll be=“If you can’t change something- then by all means change the way you see it”…. 🐛🦋you have my permission to live your best life!…. 😉
I discovered Gabor Mate 4 years ago and he is about the only Dr. I trust. Everyone should read his books! He is amazing and has been highly influential in my life and healing journey. So happy you got him!!!!!!
I see so many people say she interrupts, but she is clearly excited. GB is a blessing to us all and she gets to talk to him. Lucky her. Plus she keeps him on track and gives feedback during the conversation. I am more bother by the commercials. lol
@@ultravioletpisces3666 regardless she still talked too much, it was disrespectful to Dr. Mate. good thing she doesn't have to make her living as an interviewer.
This woman is "Amy", Sheldon's wife from "Big bang theory" 😇😁who is neuroscientist in the movie. She's an actress first of all with a degree in neuroscience. That's why "it's too much about herself "
This episode made me cry, several times. Diagnosed with breast cancer at 41, seven years ago, I now firmly believe my childhood, toxic abusive relationships and my living under constant hypervigilance, people pleasing etc etc contributed immensely to my illness. Book is in my cart!
I was diagnosed with the shock of stage 4 non-smoking lung cancer a year ago, which was a journey of broken dreams including the desire to have a family. And everything he describes about the drive to people please in lieu of boundaries and self care is true for me. I read Radical Remission by Kelly Turner, which I highly recommend, and it helped me try to find a new path with hope, with some alternative approaches. She speaks about the type 4 personality of which Dr Mate describes here. I’m am going through targeted treatment with good response so far. Warmly wishing you good health and healing on this shared path. 🙏💙I will also be adding Dr Gabor Mate’s books to read. Thank you Mayim for this wonderful interview 🙏💙
You can heal it. Now that you know and have the tools to go within and get rid of it. I love Dr. Gabor, he makes so much sense. I had a lump in my right breast back in Nov 2013. I cried for 5 mins, then went to work. I got rid of every single relationship that didn't serve my highest good. I had a fake best friend that was the spitting image of my toxic mother. I paired that with forgiving myself first, and those who had done me wrong. I went to the sauna 4 days a week, and in 4 months, that lump was nowhere to be found. You can beat this. Also watch Dr. Joe Dispenza's video. You have everything you need within to beat this! I'm rooting for you.
I think there is something to be said about grandparents too. If not for my grandfather, I would have had a somewhat miserable childhood, even though my parents did their best. He was actually a step grandfather, who never had kids of his own, but he was the BEST. He had the patience of a saint and let us do all kinds of things. He was a natural. As soon as we heard his old truck fire up, we would jump in the back and away we would go, fishing, or maybe going to a farm to buy a calf, it was always an adventure. We never went to a fancy theme park or anything like that. I read somewhere that the human race started making great strides when the grandmothers lived long enough to take care of grandchildren. The grandparents just have more experience in raising children too. They don't have the same financial burdens as the parents, and they are more relaxed.
The paternal grandparents side of one female baby, kept coming up with ways to use the baby to make other family members well or feel better. Ie. a clinically depressed teenager - they wanted to get the baby and put it with the teenager as much as possible to make him feel better. Like giving the teenager a puppy I suppose to cure depression. but using someone elses baby. The grandmother was going to have a nervous breakdown unless the mother of the baby gave up her child to the old woman for a day every week. Otherwise the child’s mum would be blamed and guilty of causing old woman’s nervous breakdown. When the grandmother died, the grandfather wanted the 10 year old child (by then) to comfort him in his despair and grief for the loss of his wife dying. He didnt want his son to help with that, he wanted the female child. The Mum refused to allow her baby to be used as the family remedy of sorts, and pushed it back on the others, ie parents of teen to give him attention, not the job for a baby. Grandmother to grow up and quit faking nervous breakdowns to get own way, and Grandfather to lean on his own son for comfort if needed - definitely not the job for a little girl to be burdened with the severe emotional burden of a man in his 80s and such grief which went on for about 3 years before he stopped trying to grab her as he was crying.
Agree that's why I find it's so good parents are having children at old age like between 40-50 they desire so much the children and have much more wisdom to teach them
My younger brother died in January this year of trauma at age 44. His childhood sexual abuse perpetuated by our grandfather from the age of 8 to 15, along with emotionally absent parents, an emotionally abusive father and stepmother and emotionally abusive older sibling manifested years later as cancer. He died 3 months after is 44th birthday 💔
Dear Venus Rain, that's so sad about your younger brother, what a heap of traumas, so sorry for his suffering and your loss of him. I imagine you've had a tough time too, in the same family. Glad you have found Gabor Mate's wisdom & calm kindness. Healing & Happiness & Blessings to us all 🙏😇🤗💖
As a Hungarian, it was a very pleasant surprise to see Dr. Máté Gábor here! I have a lot of respect for his work and of course Mayim Bialik's as well. ☺
It was not simply an interview. It was a conversation where I thought her expertise and knowledge as a neuroscientist greatly enhanced it. She's very passionate about her field of study and couldn't say enough good things about his new book and the profound effect it had on her. We are all flawed human beings and she cleary acknowledges her own. I'm sure all of critics on here don't have any.
I am so glad you did this interview. I co-slept with my daughter for years and breastfed for 3.5 years. (I work full-time in a professional role and I could make it work) The criticism I received from my ex-husband was infuriating. I knew I was doing the right thing by her, it was instinctual, and listening to this makes me feel vindicated.
Good for you, you listened to and acted on your intuition. Your daughter doesn't know how good she's got it. Sorry about your husband, he's probably jealous that he didn't get his needs met with so much love and consideration. You did the right thing. Babies should be breastfed.
I love hearing Dr. Maté speak. I have followed him and read his books for years. I get very agitated when he is constantly interrupted by Mayim's need for "one up-ing" him to focus on herself. Dear Mayim, if you really want to help others with this podcast, PLEASE! Consider why you have this compulsive need to turn every conversation into a spotlight about your psyche, your suffering, your wounds; these constant 'humble brags' (or straight-out brags) that you know everything he is going to say before he says it, that you don't really need him there except to give yourself a platform... I think what you want to share with these podcasts is important. Very much so! But your need to overshadow your guests is really off-putting.
Exactly what I was thinking, thank you for putting it so nicely and succinctly, the "one upmanship" almost made me stop watching. Yes you are extremely smart Mayim, but please let the man speak, ask questions, and then listen.
Exactly! When he thanked her for the introduction she smirked pridefully rather than saying thank you. I would have enjoyed hearing him talk rather than hearing her self-absorbed analysis.
This was a WONDERFUL interview!!! I’ve been following Gabor Mate work for 8 years, right after I overcame a hard drug addiction. I knew something major was missing regarding addiction, trauma, stress, ect from the Western medical approach & when I began listening to his talks & read his books it completely filled those gaps! Soooo amazing!!🤗
Remember therapy was an embarrassment to the person and the family in the 70’s. Although late husband and I had our years with amazing psychiatrists. It certainly made me a better parent and person. Dr. Mate is helping me at 70 pay more attention to me. Thank you for having him on. I am anxiously awaiting his books.
I have listened to many of Gabor Mate’s interviews and still he says things that make me tear up. That last bit about small children learning to say no and how important it is … I imagine I was forced to be compliant so that explains a lot.
I seriously wish this woman wouldn't had interrupted every 5 words, Gabor is such a great guest. Will be watching him in other podcasts where he is more free to elaborate his ideas.
Marina..I totally agree! We want to hear him and a very small amount of her..Drives me nuts..His message is so powerful and important.I worked with children for many years and wish all parents could have this knowledge..We all need it of course..Im so grateful for him and what he has to teach us,,,
Totally agree. She was interrupting even when her co host was summarising the salient features..Juvenile behaviour. on her part. In the course of podcast she does mention that she too needed to learn a few things..so one can assume the awareness is there but level of awareness is not adequate enough to control the compulsive behaviour .
I have not forgotten the woman who kept me during one church service, away from anyone I knew. I was three, and began to cry. She clamped her hand over my nose and mouth, and told me to *BE QUIET!* I thought she was going to kill me! She didn't even let me catch a breath first! I wasn't a perfect mother, and I've grieved over my mistakes. But they were different mistakes than were perpetrated onto me!
Good god, she is just very enthusiastic to talk with this doctor! And keep in mind that she has adhd. And when we are very enthusiastic than it is more difficult to keep ‘it in’. More difficult than normal. I know how difficult this can be. You try very hard not to do it and that is utterly exhausting for ourselves. Negative comments on this does not help. If you watch hundreds of other interviews from her with guests you can see that this interview is an exception. She is a fantastic interviewer.
I can honestly say that having learned who and having access to Gabor Mate' is the best thing I have gotten from modern technology. As a girl growing up in Mississippi I'm not sure I would have learned about this phenomenal man and his wisdom. I read a lot, I was actually fascinated by psychology and really anything relating to medicine. Being raised in the south in the 70s & 80s I didn't realize women could be anything other than a teacher, a mom, a hairdresser etc. Typical female positions at that time. Had I had access to Mr Mate's knowledge I truly believe my life would be entirely different. Thank you for passing on your knowledge.
I am deeply impressed by Gabor Mate's work. This interview however does not give him the space to speak without being interrupted by the interviewer who thinks it's all about her...that's really too bad.
Dr Mate is a place in my heart that’s helped me in so many ways. Recently I adopted an abandoned and abused dog. She’s learned trust, loyalty and most importantly happiness. So I’ve learned that we may all be able to adjust, no matter whatever past traumas.
@@Saavycupcake but Who saved who? I needed to give her the love and care as much as she needed this. I didn’t know that I was missing her in my life, until she got here. Huge PLUS shared by both equally
Dogs teach us to just kick dirt over the s**t and carry on…..too forgive but remember the lessons=The inability to ‘Let Go’ is the cause of most all human misery=Just feed the good wolf the most😉
As someone with a brain tumour I can attest to the fact that I have all 4 personality traits that Gabor stated as making someone vulnerable to a chronic disease. I lead the healthiest lifestyle possible, except for enforcing boundaries. I’m now teaching my children that it’s ok to say no and show anger (something I wasn’t allowed to do growing up). Thank you Mayim and Gabor for this interview ❤😊
If I may offer a possible "tweak" to this particular podcast as this is my first one. I found you bc I'm a gabor mate follower. mayim I know who you are bc of the big bang theory. the only difficult part for ME was when it felt like you were so excited to show that you knew what gabor was talking about bc you too are a follower and have read this book, which felt like interruptions. jason seemed to reel things in beautifully and was helpful there. i know you were excited mayim and you are SO SO smart. but perhaps, next time you can let the guest, specifically gabor, talk and let him get his full point across. this is not in anyway to hurt or offend. and the only reason I did not start with a positive which psychology teaches us to do, was bc you are way too authentic for that bull. i hope I made some sort of sense. shavuah tov. thank YOU for having gabor on most importantly for going inward and doing the inner self work.
Wow.......I'm sitting here crying because my reality has just been explained. To put words to what I am going through is a sort of relief in itself. Thank you for having Dr. Mate on your podcast!
0:56:xx - and that’s why a child might be anxious and angry and “annoyed” about a depressed and stressed-out mother: because she is not able to be supportive, but might be in need of support herself. Which means the child is somehow in danger, or at least under a constant kind of pressure. Let alone when other family members start to tell you: “you have to be kind and respectful and thankful to your mum”
Back in 2008, after many years of research and reflection, I came to the conclusion that our culture was problematic and in many ways the cause of many conditions, including depression. I wrote an email to Dr. Mate stating this "realization", and within 15 minutes received a reply that I was "correct". I was pleased and delighted, of course, I will never forget. Dr. Mate was already thinking along these lines. This book is a work of both great wisdom and courage. It takes a lot of courage to write a book of TRUTH in this toxic culture.
and yet with all of its flaws it has the least amount of conditions for the most people(% wise) that one can not find help in solving or living long enough for it to occur.
He had already written "Hold on to Your Kids", "When The Body Says No", and "In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts" before that and the work he was doing here in Vancouver was the go to for anyone wanting to support healing in the community. Luckily now a mere 25 - 30 years later...ahem...he is being heard. Any of us he were seeing and feeling this and understanding what he was saying (as you noticed back then) are now breathing a sigh of relief that we finally have reached a time when everyone is open to hearing and he along with others are putting forward their life's work at just the right moment.
@@oceanbreathyogawellness4487 Have you read his newest book and would you still recommend reading the older ones as well? I don't have that much time to read and a way too long to-read list so I have to choose wisely!
This video came up after one I was watching and as I love Dr. Mate, I was pleased. I watch a LOT of videos online and the one pet peeve I have is a host who talks more than their guest. I know they have their stories too and I suggest they are interviewed by someone to get their stories out so that they can allow their guests to talk more. Just saying...and thanks for doing this interview.
Love that you all emphasized the importance of letting go of the labels/diagnoses/narratives that support the continuation of illness. Would be great to see an episode on this very point. It's not to say labels/diagnoses aren't helpful -- it's just not the entire story and can lead to a person feeling very stuck like they have been given a life sentence of "this is who I am and it will never get better."
Mayan,i have admired youfor a longtime Please let thedr. Talk without interruption. I expectedore fr you Stop , listen. Thank you for this video Amazing man .😊
Omg, Dr. Máté!!! When I listen to him I'm so proud that he is from my country! Nowadays there are not too many things I can be proud of as a Hungarian, but he's one of them.
I need this book. A fellow neuroscientist here and from what I've heard from Dr. Mate, it sounds like we are all the sum of environmental impacts on our interoceptive awareness and our consciousness. This is a massive zeitgeist change!!! I have a few autoimmune conditions and have lived a fair trauma filled life. More trauma in my adult years. It makes so damn much sense.
Thank-you Mayim for this very personally and spiritually enriching interview of Gabor Mate, who is as kind, humble and thoughtful in person as he appears in interviews. If you ask him about one of his favorite bookstores I likely will say one is Banyan Books in Vancouver BC, where I have seen him quietly sitting on of the stores chairs reading, he is a life long learner who inspires others to do the same. I am holding the vision Gabor Mate is compulsory reading and watching for policy makers, nurses, doctors, psychiatrists, and psychologists. As well as Emotional Intelligence by Dr. Daniel Goleman who writes extensively about the importance of the dance of emotional attunement between caregivers and babies, to the optimal emotional/psychological wellbeing of the child.
@@sybilvazquez3339 Hi Sybil yes life long learning is very fulfilling and the knowledge builds and you keep growing in wonderful ways. I agree Dr. Mate's voice and his compassionate empathetic personality is very comforting.
I audibly gasped when I saw this come up on my feed… This is one of my most treasured podcasts…. And Dr Gabor’s books have quite literally changed my life! So seeing you together, my worlds have collided! What beautiful minds you both have ❤ thank you so, so much for this. What a gift of an episode
I wish hosts would allow the guests to speak instead of constantly answering or interrupting and referring to their own issues. Makes it hard to listen to for any amount of time. Not effective listening and not an effective presentation. It’s not about YOU. Thank you Dr. Mate for your information.
In a word……🤯!!! I have been struggling with Long Covid and two autoimmune disease triggered by Covid for over two years now. I have been trying to connect the dots to make sense of what has happened to me and how to best optimize my health situation since all that western medicine can do is “treat the symptoms.” I have been reading Gabor Mate’s books for a few months now. I have learned so much! Thank you for this interview because it helped me put things together even more! I am to the point where i can actually say I am glad I got sick in my late 40’s with a Novel virus that had no treatment nor a treatment to Long Covid. Because I was forced to search for my own answers. And what I have found is not only what will make me healthier physically, but emotionally, and spiritually as well! I hope I have learned this early enough to change some of the generational traumas in my family! Time to get to work and do some healing! Thanks again!
I have listened to Gabor in many interviews and the interactions here have truly brought forth new insights in a way that I had not heard in other interviews with Gabor. Loved seeing the interactions between the 3 of you. Really hope he comes back to speak with you in person. Thank you for this episode!
That was by far the most important one of these broadcasts you two have ever done. I am so grateful. I battled cancer this past year and am still struggling with post op dysfunctions and other health issues. I had my gallbladder out a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been reading about the correlation between stress and disease and cancer and trauma. This information is groundbreaking and needs to be normalized. If we can make our environment less traumatic maybe we all have a chance to thrive as a society. Thank you for all your good work. You two are relationship goals and I aspire to manifest a partner who will support me and grow with me the way you two thrive together. Love and light. 🙏💗🥰
Wow - thanks so much for sharing your inspiring journey, Jennifer. Yes, we must normalize this important convo! Sending you well wishes for healing across the board.
I'm so glad you have found him too, I'm a health and wellbeing coach for the NHS in the UK. I use Dr Gabor Mate's teachings to train behaviour change and improve quality of their lives. I love this guy!!!! X
This was the first time I’ve ever heard of him. But everything he said made sense and spoke to me. I wonder if is bookworm whatever platform he uses could help me since I cannot afford therapy. I am in an abusive relationship. I have spent all of my savings on the surgeries that I had to have for my boyfriend breaking my bones. Now I have an auto immune disease I’m super sick and I cannot kick him out of my house because they just doubled my rent. But I know staying with him is making me really ill.
I will listen in little bits with breaths in between so as to calmly receive what Gabor has to share. My compassion goes out to Mayim as she moves through this meeting & later reflects upon what was occurring for her. Wow!🙏🏽
Whenever Gabor Mate speaks, he completely validates my existence. This is one of the most valuable people to listen to if you have been through childhood trauma, which is actually most of us, though most don't know or will admit they know they have been through childhood trauma.
Your words of love and compassion are reaching France! I am doing all I can to overcome my trauma and deal with my loved ones following the wisdom of Dr Mate. Thanks for everything!
For children whose needs are not met and have subconsciously learned very early on not to ask for anything from their environment, they learn to ignore their own needs. Some of us don't actually learn how to sleep through the night. We develop lifelong insomnia, we stayed up all night at five years of age listening to our parents sleep, making sure they were still breathing and alive, listening to the world outside our window, worrying about every noise that might signal danger of the world coming to an end. Some of us never learned to self soothe ourselves back to sleep, or we don't learn how to self regulate or we develop personality disorders. It's a vicious cycle of triggers/reactions and it can take a LONG time to rewire our brains and learn new patterns of being in this world. It can be done though, and we can break the cycle, and help alleviate our own suffering and those we love. Thank you for this amazing podcast!!!!
Speaking of elephant behavior… they also mourn the loss of their own by surrounding the dead with cries, paying respect, then eventually covering the deceased before continuing on their nonstop quest for food and water. In the 70s & 80s, in order to control their population, we ( the US ) helped South Africa cull their elephant herds, leaving behind mostly young orphans. In the 90s we discovered that without the presence of older males, the male youths became delinquents. There’s actual footage of young elephants pelting less defenseless animals with rocks - a behavior that was, previously, unheard of.
I'm barely 15 minutes in and am absolutely getting this book! I first ran across Maté in a TikTok that just blew me away with the connections he made. That led me to read "When the Body says No." I love that he's pushing back against conventional "wisdom" with uncomfortable truths!
Loved this episode. I've followed Gabor for 4 years and found his voice, his patience, and his willingness to hear people out as therapeutic as what he says. In the end, you and Jonathon talked about how to respond to children in a traumatic experience. I think valadation may be the answer.
Holy shit!!! This is my entire family behavior pattern. There is a saying in my family that love is service to each other. My grandfather it was called the good Samaritan. Auto immune diseases and cancer run rampant in my family as well. I need to sit down…
I am a big fan of Gabor and have watched many of his talks. I had a bit of a hard time with this one, and I had a story that he was often interrupted in this interview. Still appreciate your work!
This episode gave me the scientific "proof" for what I have always intuitively known to be true! I followed my intuition about trauma healing and later raising my child and I was literally told I was crazy. Gabor Mate M.D. (along with other great minds & hearts) has opened so many doors to us and you are helping to spread the word and hold discussion and learn in a way that has not been accessible to many, until now. Thank you!!!
A truly excellent podcast.Have been a fan of Gabor Maté for a while now.Everyone needs to read that book. My father was put in a home,run by nuns.His parents said they had to put him there because they had to build their business and couldn't afford to look after him.They took him back but he was severely traumatized and spent a large part of his life trying to win his parents' approval; it was heartbreaking for him.
Something I never hear much about: The father connection. The baby bond. The mother's hormones and babies hormones and their effect on the father. Just all of that and more.
Thank you guys for this interview. It would have been even more wonderful and enriching if Mayim could let Gabor speak and finish his ideas/sentences, he has too much value things to say and she keeps interrupting him and just trying to keep this about herself :(
I don't know if I can make it through this interview - as much as I want to hear what Dr. Mate has to say. Mayim cannot stop talking and it's quite annoying. I imagine I'll come back to this video to hear the wisdom he has to share. But for now, and only being 25 minutes in, I have to take a break. She's quite a know-it-all.
I would have loved to listen to this had you not kept interpreting Dr Maté... it became very difficult to follow... food for thought. I love his work and everything he says
I am not even halfway through, and I just have to say Yes and AMEN! The book "The Body Keeps The Score" took great leaps to dare and challenge the "disease" & "treat / medicate illness" vs find the SOURCE, treating the MIND and body. As a human, trauma survivor, Mom, Marriage & Family, and substance use therapist, Thank You for this book, this podcast, and your alls work to educate the world and work towards a healthier life for all. ❤️
The nonverbal language of the gentleman she is initially speaking with at around two minutes says it all. He hadn’t said two words, and she was interrupting him. As frustrated as he looked I decided to read through the comments and what I read about this woman’s constant interruptions led me to not even bothering to watch it. Sad because I love Dr. Mate. Some people think they are just too self important and this woman is one of them.
This is the best interview with Dr. Gabor Mate! I love that they both read the book and ready to interview him with thoughtful questions and actually engage with him. Dr. Gabor Mate’s energy is also different in this one compare to other interviews/podcasts he did, more engaging as well and higher energy. I’m watching this for the third time now❤
I have been an avid follower of Dr Gabor Mate for many years now, and he has been instrumental in my learning to understanding my own chronic health issues, plus understanding why we - as a species - are so messed up. This is one of the best interviews I have heard with Dr Mate, and I have probably listened to the vast majority of them! Thank you Mayim, and Dr Mate for all that you do! 💚💫
Great discussion. I am so happy to had Gabor on your show. I have followed him for years. When I got cancer the first book I reached for was his - so many answers to the question "why me". I am excited to read his new book and do the work that is needed to further my journey of healing. Thank you.
@@MayimBialik thank you!! that is really nice!! I ordered his book! Thank you and Jonathan for this great podcast - I love listening to you both. Cheers.
I enjoy Mayim Bialik usually but in this, she interrupts Gabor with so many comments ---preempting/interrupting what he is saying. He often doesn't get to give us the information clearly. Otherwise it has outstanding information. Gabor has MUCH to share which is of extreme value.
One more comment….☺️Mayim… I could see how much Gabor was validating you and it warmed my heart, because I was being validated at the same time. Would love to meet you one day and chat. You are a blessing and your podcast. Thank you to Jonathan as well.
This is my favorite Gabor Mate interview because Mayim Bialik has done her own personal work and interact with Gabor in a deeper way. This is worth watching several times or letting it replay while doing other things.
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
![[Revisit] Who Gets Sick and How to Prevent it, with Dr. Gabor Maté](/img/1.gif)
She’s cool and positive but I wish she would just ask a question and let Doctor Mate finish his sentences. She often interrupts and speaks over him. I’m eager to hear everything he has to share with us. Not all her long winded comments about her and her issues. Let the brilliance of this man shine and be heard…please!
As a Canadian, I consider him a National Treasure. I think his work is key to helping almost everyone in our super sick culture. Thanks for bringing him to a wider audience.
👍🙂❤
As another Canadian, I totally agree!
International.
@@Plethorality most definitely
Dr. Peterson is from Canada as well. 🙏😃
I’m so glad Gabor is being interviewed everywhere! We need him to get all the exposure possible!
He has!!!!! I have not stopped! I see his name and click! I can hear him repeat everything everyday because that one small fraction of understanding changes my life, my intellect! I love him! ❤
ive read two of his books his insight, his compassion and geniune understanding of issues.
@@adlc1313by you v up gycggy😮 C
She rally like to talk. Why so much talk and tine inntil she lets-her guests talk😢
She is so annoying, never seen her before and all she does is correct correct correct like she knows everything wtf
I am an Indigenous artist from Manitoba, Canada and I am a fan of Dr. Gabor Maté. Before contact, Indigenous ontology was about interrelationality; recognizing that humans are one small part of the universe and our relationships to plants, animals, environment, community, etc. is an important part of our survival. Children were sacred beings and were never denied anything. They were surrounded by community and everyone had a role in supporting their needs and teaching them to be sentient beings. We never had prisons and through experience we created checks and balances to prevent greed. When conquers, settlers and well meaning religious groups forced their ontological understandings onto my ancestors, it was done with violence and policies that disempowered generations of people. Residential (church run) schools took children away from their families, language and culture to experience a foreign way of life that centred around abuse and discipline. What Gabor never mentioned was that the majority of people in Canadian prisons is Indigenous People and the East side of Vancouver is also made up of mostly Indigenous People. I have been learning about the old ways and I now go to ceremony. Much of what Gabor talks about, I hear the same lessons in the teachings from elders. I wish our voices-Indigenous ontologies, pedagogies and epistemologies-had a platform because we have have been silenced for too long. The Indigenous People carry so much wisdom that can help guide us to a brighter future. Thank you for your program, it is always a joy to hear about healing.
❤
So well stated & explained. This comment so enlightened me. Write a book for us. I so wish i could join you in this journey & ceremony. I am so moved by thrse words, things I knew but didn’t know. Spirit bless you in all things. ♥️
We all need to live more like indigenous cultures such as yours. We need you as our teachers.
Thank you for your comment in light of the recent news of indigenous people being tricked and lied to about schooling ,support and such. It wounds me deeply in the name of faith, Christianity or caring that a whole race was affected by not good meaning individuals but by by a nation of I’ll learned men took away families, cultures, rights and more than they could realize in truth of the importance of the natural healing, the importance of nature, Mother Earth, family causing afflictions, addictions and wounds so deep it’s unspeakable until people like yourself remind us all of the harm done to so many by so few.. we are all one and need to support each other.
The movies "Black Robe" and "The Mission" brought these themes home to me in South Africa ... It makes me 😭😭😭 ... the rape of innocence and convolusions of cultural/catholic practices that twisted humans into pretzels!!!
Mayim could have kindly stopped interrupting... But good talk always absolute pleasure hearing Gabor speak
Omg 😱 I had to turn off
Narcism and lack of self awareness
My god this was hard to listen to - she interrupted him every sentence to let him know she knew what he was talking about, agreed with him, who he mentioned. He was so patient! I aim to be more like him and less interruptive myself - I do this too and got to see what it looks and sounds like.
Fascinating, illuminating conversation. I came to many of these revelations on my own as I faced my addiction issues in late adulthood. Sarno was my start and Mate confirms so much of what I came to believe about our damaged psyches seeking fulfillment in an insane world.
She probably nervous and wants to have validation that she is knowledgeable enough to have a seat at the table. Good feedback for her, if she yields to it.
I couldnt finish the podcast. This lady is unsufferable.
Yes, it's terrible to watch because of her interrupting all the time, there is a lot of masculine energy in her, she speaks in a very irritating way, too fast and in a very bossy way, the nervous laughter adds to the discomfort of watching a very interesting apeaker
@@ekk.k she speaks in a masculine way? The f? There's no masculine or feminine way of talking. Or do you mean a woman should sit back and be seen but not heard? You're letting your misogyny show.
She was quite annoying.
As a person who has been economically disadvantaged my whole life, I want people to know that you can find healing without resources most people think they need. Jonathan said it. You don't need a shaman a healer or even Rx medication. All healing comes from the self. Breakdown is a wonderful resource in learning what one needs to achieve self healing. I'm so grateful for these two people.
I so agree and thank you Tanisha for echoing what Jonathan said. This podcast is my go-to for discovery and help for self-healing. As a senior on Social Security my funds are limited so resources like Mayim's podcast are incredibly fabulous and so appreciated. Thank you, Mayim and Jonathan!
Thanks so much for the beautiful reminder, Tanisha!!! 🧠🫶
@@JaniceAJanice
Thank GOD you Finally have him on
There is enough for everyone, but we are trained to allow suffering, haves and have-nots
I absolutely love listening to Gabor Mate speak. I wish Mayim would let him talk and get his point across without interrupting or making comments.
Yes this. Mayim the effects of your childhood trauma are showing in your desire to get Dr. Mate's approval with your understanding of the concepts he so brilliantly wove together into this masterpiece of a book. It's as if you were so validated that this compassionate brilliant man put down in words what you have recognized and felt intuitively for years, that you forgot he (and not you) was the expert and main attraction and you were the interviewer!
Let the man speak. Ding ding ding 🛎️
It's almost impossible to listen. When she says, "There's no physiological basis" for disease she shows she completely misunderstood his points.
Thank you! I was very disappointed in Mayim. Sheb looks like she’s hopped up on something and can’t calm down. I thought she would be more self aware, being a neuro scientists. shm
@@janeerdman8836
Most in entertainment look for and need approval. This in itself is often a marker of insecurity and scars.
I'd like humbly to suggest to Ms. Bialik that people are more interested in hearing her guests' express their knowledge and experience than in hearing Ms. Bialik's expressions of similar. To Ms. Bialik, perhaps count how many times during these 98 minutes you complete Mr. Mate's sentences, put words in his mouth, or cut him off before he completes his sentence. Also, you might compare the total number of minutes you speak vs. same for Mr. Mate. In short, you're a lovely, smart person, and maybe I'm in a minority but I chose this video to watch because I wanted to hear from Mr. Mate. All that said, I enjoyed it and found it worthwhile. :)
Totally agree! We might of all got a chance to learn more if she let him speak.
@@katrinamusic29Yes, I most DEFINITELY agree that we might have all gotten a chance to learn more from Dr. Mate if she had let him speak. interrupting interviewers!!! grrrrr. I just clicked on this video but I'm not going to watch it. There are many others with Dr. Mate where he is POLITELY allowed to speak!
I got triggered listening and watching her antics…… 😂😂in all seriousness, it gave me anxiety seeing her play with her hair and all of these interruptions. She needs to learn how to do interviews.
It’s actually Dr. Bialik and Dr Mate
Absolutely agree
Obviously Mayim was very excited about meeting this extraordinary man and so perhaps she was unconscious of the constant interruptions she made. I thought he handled it
In his masterful way, never putting anyone down.
Maybe it’s the Jewess nerd in me or maybe it’s my AuDHD but I loved it. Mayim asked great questions and it was a wonderfully authentic interview. Her interruptions were generally on topic and served to take the conversation to some interesting places. I guess the teacher in me appreciates the spontaneous questions of the eager student.
yes I noticed that too.
Yeah, I noticed that too. Like she was unconsciously looking for some sort of validation at being "knowledgeable" about the subject already, and not letting the actual expert speak.
It was admittedly difficult to listen to this interview.
I’m a 63 year old woman who has CIDP, Sjorgrens, Lupus and hashimotos. I KNEW intuitively that my childhood abuse played a key role in why I have so many autoimmune issues. I’m sobbing. I just ordered Gabor’s book. Thank you for this interview!
Wish you good Recovery
Hi Crystal. You are not alone. I am about to turn 60. I have fibromyalgia and Sjogrens and CPTSD. We all need to hold each other up. There are so many folks out there like us.
I'm so glad you and this episode crossed paths. It was such a stunner. My best to you 🤍❤️
💗💕💗💕💗💕💗
You'll be better, you'll see. I know you will.
My late Mom used to say, when things are bad, food comes first. Eat super clean, anti-inflammation foods. It's hard but SO worth it. It has kept me alive, honestly.
Mayim, I wish you would let your guest speak more, he is absolutely amazing!
My wife and I have watched Dr Maté discussing this latest book on a half-dozen other podcasts over the past month and learned from every one of them. But you, Mayim, and Jonathan connected and engaged with him in a way that none of the others did. Easily one of the best and most substantive podcasts you’ve ever done. 🙌✨❤️
Wowwww, thanks so much for the high praise, Bill, and for watching!! Very glad this one resonated with you. 🧠🫶
Absolutely agree! Thank you!
@@MayimBialik I agree too!!! This conversation was HUGE!!!! This will be required watching for everyone in my social circle!!! I can't put into words how amazing this conversation was. His work is incredible, and your conversation made it (all the topics) feel so much more relatable and obtainable and fixable and hopeful. It feels so intuitive and I'm eager to explore what I am saying yes to when I do better saying no. (More sewing, more time with my kids, more reading)
I completely agree. Have seen him on many other Podcasts for this book; and this interview with you both was exceptional ❤
Yes definitely one conversation that is so different from other podcast! Really love this different point of view ❤
I love this man, have read his books and heard his lectures. I am so sad that Mayim CANNOT stop obsessively interrupting him to the extent that the power of his personality and articulation was sustantially lost here.
@BlueBerryCrayon45 totally agree
Agree on that point. I wanted to quit watching several times but learned to tune her out. You can tell Jonathan was annoyed.
@Northern Light Nothing enjoyable about “bubbleness” that interrupts an introvert’s train of thought at all times. To be a good interviewer you need to be a good listener and be able to control the instinct of vocalizing every single thought that pops up in your head.
"Bubbly" is not what I saw. I saw a narcissitic need for it to be "about me" and the inability to get quiet with herself. Gabor is tolerant of these things, a therapist and a good listener. He also has a book he needs to get out in front of the public, so he behaved appropriately and with compassion.. I do not blame Mayim as she can't help it as of yet in her process, but it is clear that she should work on it if she wishes her guests to be heard.
Clearly she has a need to take up all the oxygen in a room.
When you guys said that when kids see that there's no room for their needs they will not express their needs I felt so seen. Thank you for this episode it was very insightful!
Oldest daughter of an alcoholic & a narcissist. ‘Perfectionist Fixer’. My picture is beside the mental health textbook where family dynamics are described. Severe spine/pain issues are how my damage presents.🤷🏼♀
@@davisholman8149 I am a middle daughter of same, when my older sister died , I took her role, it's very painful.
@@annasan451 Welcome to the Fixer Club, Annasandra. Get ready to age more quickly & to end up with some major illness. Sorry, but that is what Dr. Mate’ says in his book.😔
Good interview. I recommend the interviewer to hold herself back a little bit more for next time though, and to pay more attention on not interrupting him.
I've always know deep in my bones that women married to man-babies and still work to foot bills have signed themselves uo for a life of misery and diseases. I see it happening all the time. The pampered men looks healthy whilst they are struggling with obesity, anxiety disorder and depression. I'm getting this book for myself
So as a man how do I fit in with this theory ? . I do everything and more. I despise the helpless feeling I feel if a woman even attempts to pamper me .
Due to my over activity , I became sick and now am seriously debating practising and investing in the art of man babyism to help as a cure.
I NEED this book!
@Bridget McDonald Good for you 💕
@@sassafras988 which book? He has so many
I love the conversation about parenting. I grew up in Senegal, West Africa, and babies are constantly attached to their moms. They literally spend the whole day attached!
Always inspiring to hear Dr. Maté speak. Would be wonderful to not have him constantly being interrupted by the host. His words and wisdom are so valuable, this host needs to practice active listening.
I can understand the excitement and passion that motivated Mayim’s behavior during this interview. When your life is so profoundly changed by something and you know how much the world needs it, it’s hard to rein in that excitement. Honestly, her ability to have that authentic experience with Gabor was like a therapy session for her, to have her feelings validated. Because I’ve read his work, I didn’t feel like I missed much because of the interruptions. I’m glad to know that he valued Mayim’s authentic expressions of appreciation.
I really enjoy listening to Gabor. It was hard to listen to this podcast because of the woman she wanted to be the expert.
Thank you for this podcast and interview. I just thanked God - the decision to leave my toxic unavailable family of origin at 19 was the best decision of my life. I learned to re-parent myself, love myself, like myself and respect myself. At 61 I'm still learning and experiencing ongoing freedom, and more fun and adventure than ever before. I pray for everyone here in this community. You can do it!🙏♥️
The best advice I ever received in my life was at 17 from a therapist at my university health service: “ Leave your parents. Never look back. Never go back to them for anything, ever.” I was too frightened of my father to take that advice and it ruined my life. I am now 64. I tell anyone who will listen - which is very few - get away from toxic families - siblings, parents - ALL. Change your name. Start a new life. You will NOT regret it. You form your own new families with friends. This works just fine. This is the only way you can stop the cycle of abuse. If you were abused please don’t have children. Why do you want that? You will wreck their lives without meaning to. It’s possible it could turn out ok, but it’s very, very unlikely. Love the children of others. Be there for THEM.
@@rs5570 I am the one that is rejected by everybody; I think because I am too needy and angry at the way I am treated with contempt by people. It is very hurtful and has been a lifelong problem. So I could not leave my family, although at one time I did try to make anew life away from thoughts of them, thinking other people would like me. I was wrong. Even my family is cold and contemptuous towards me. I don't know how to have a feeling of worth or get in touch with my true self. I wish I was not born and I want to exit this life. I wish there was a dignified euthanasia system where people are actually treated nicely for once, just as they are killed.
Wow 19!! I'm 45 & still trying not to care about my abusive family & break ties w my toxic narcissist mother ! I live w her .
What my life could have been if I had your courage 😢
I'm gonna use you as inspiration ❤
@@rs5570❤
As a colon cancer ex-patient that was sure before reading anything about body-mind connections that somehow my “body has said NO” to the worst stressful moment in my life, I realize I fulfil/led all Dr. Maté’s and all Mayim’s “ding-dings🔔” about people who tend to get sick:
1. Tend to put other’s people’s emotional needs compulsively on themselves (from being first of six siblings kind of surrogate mom for other five from my 10 years old and counting afterwards..)
2. Tend to put duties and responsabilities first rather than themselves (a successful professional with much pressure trained from early childhood to endure responsabilities)
3. Tend to repress healthy anger not setting clear boundaries (both in family and profession..)
4. Feeling responsible for what people’s feel and don’t want to disapoint anyone (It costs me a cancer to realize that “we’re born to be real, not perfect”)
Said that, how I love Dr. Maté’s words “I WORRY FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE VERY NICE”: Yes and yes, some of us need to learn to be “good selfish ones”.
And Mayim’s golden phrase that resume a lot of our western culture sufferings: “HUMAN BEINGS ARE TRAINED TO GO AGAINST OUR OWN INSTINCTS IN THIS CULTURE”
To be both framed!
How I adore and are thankful to this podcast and specially for this TRUE GEM of episode. I only can say to Mayim, Jonathan and Dr. Maté a heartfeld THANK YOU.
Sadly, narcissistic folk don't seem to get sick like all the nice, good people do.
@@Corrans Narcisistic is a sickness itself…IMHO
My Mom used to say that about the kids that are too nice.
"HUMAN BEINGS..." reminded me of an interview of psychologist Ronald Goldman, PhD where he said mothers of infants shouldn't go against their instincts. He wrote the book on how circumcision causes boys to lose trust in their mom, and become men who hate women. I read that Maxim was raised in a non-religious family but she decided to convert to a strict form of religion which is why she decided to get her son circumcised. She went against her instincts to protect her child. It is the ultimate betrayal. Circumcision is perhaps the most painful neonatal procedure, according to the book "Birth Trauma and the Dark Side of Modern Medicine".
@@Corrans Louise you have alot of insight and are so correct on that point.
Ok..... like another lady wrote, I'm in tears. Lifelong issues from childhood trauma & a lifetime of counseling, & medication. At last, at 72 I've come to the point that I feel I'm healed & healthy. I adore Dr. Gabor, but wasn't going to buy his book because I feel (well, felt) that I'm ok & have figured it all out. My tears tell me I have more to learn & understand. Thank you for this wonderful interview. 💖 oh, and I've ordered the book. 😊
My children are now young adults. In staying firm in my beliefs that I wanted them to be at home with me for the first 5 years, breastfed for the first 2, let them be in their natural state as much as possible regarding their appearance, feeding them organic foods and being in tune with the sunrise and sunset timeline, they led natural lives.
Fast forward now, really grounded, polite self aware adults who care for themselves and others on a higher level.
You just validated every instinct I've had as a mother and I realized that especially this past year I have been almost constantly sick and I think it's because I give and give and give. I'm an emergency room nurse. I'm a homeschooler. I'm a mother. I'm a wife. I'm a friend. I am looking at the end of this year and I can remember who I was but not who I am. I've been sick so often I'm exhausted and broken. I need to be like a baby and make my needs known and be a bit selfish for a while.
Could not have been better stated. My doctor told me this same thing about myself and, in his view it is still a 'role' that society primarily pushes women into.
I'm afraid there's another reason that people are sick constantly. J A B
@@milenagielas8184 that's just absolutely dismissive as hell. The OP is trying to acknowledge she needs to make herself a priority and you're blaming a vaccine? 🤦🏼♀️ yes, because until 2 years ago all moms/nurses/wives/teachers didn't put everyone else first.
Bravo!
@@tarawalsh-arpaia3928 Bravo!
" A child who's needs are not responded to, will stop asking for their needs to be met", this rings so true.
I was brought up in a Kibbutz in Israel, back in those days we as children were sleeping in a children house, not with our parents, from infancy. Years later a classmate of mine studied psychology, he told me that many researches showed that infants in infants houses in the Kibbutzes do not cry, since they learned it's fruitless, no one is there to comfort them when they do any way. This of course has a very big impact on the personality of the person this infant will grow up to be.
Thank you Mayim and Jonathan for bringing Dr. Gabor, one of the most eye opening conversation I've heard for a while.
OMG that sounds truly tragic.
@@liz-iy6zm Yeah, people back then thought it's a reasonable way to raise children, not knowing the long term implications, now it's all changed and children are sleeping in their parents apartments.
I am so hungry to hear what Dr Gabor Mate has to say. In a nut shell, He deciphers the wheat from the chaff… I am almost in my six decade. I started thinking no one can help or fix my broken self,it’s to late…🤔 Now I feel there is still hope to heal and move forward. What a remarkable man🤗🙏🏻
As long ad you have hope and believe, ANYTHING is possible 😊
As soon as you figure out how holding onto it has benefited you and how it has not and then, forge in the direction opposite of everything you’ve known…..”the pain to remain the same must be more greater than the pain it’ll take to change,”……Nothing can exist until we first think it, then visualize it then believe it and it’ll be=“If you can’t change something- then by all means change the way you see it”….
🐛🦋you have my permission to live your best life!…. 😉
I discovered Gabor Mate 4 years ago and he is about the only Dr. I trust. Everyone should read his books! He is amazing and has been highly influential in my life and healing journey. So happy you got him!!!!!!
I see so many people say she interrupts, but she is clearly excited. GB is a blessing to us all and she gets to talk to him. Lucky her. Plus she keeps him on track and gives feedback during the conversation. I am more bother by the commercials. lol
This is the most AMAZING introduction I have ever heard! Dr Gabor deserves every mention 💝 he is a gift to society for sharing his work and passion.
Yes
Absolutely!!! An honor to have him here. Thanks for watching, Janel!! 🧠🫶
The woman interviewing made this too much about herself. She needed to focus more on this brilliant doctor.
She is also a brilliant doctor and neuroscientist.
@@ultravioletpisces3666 regardless she still talked too much, it was disrespectful to Dr. Mate. good thing she doesn't have to make her living as an interviewer.
Shut up and listen!!!...you have a huge ego
This woman is "Amy", Sheldon's wife from "Big bang theory" 😇😁who is neuroscientist in the movie.
She's an actress first of all with a degree in neuroscience. That's why "it's too much about herself "
@@ANNKOR-tc3gv Even if she were Mother Theresa, she still comes off as self absorbed, but I am glad to learn who she is, thank.
This episode made me cry, several times. Diagnosed with breast cancer at 41, seven years ago, I now firmly believe my childhood, toxic abusive relationships and my living under constant hypervigilance, people pleasing etc etc contributed immensely to my illness. Book is in my cart!
We hope you are in better health these days, @whalesharkandme, in all ways. Thank you so much for sharing, and for watching! 🧠🫶
I was diagnosed with the shock of stage 4 non-smoking lung cancer a year ago, which was a journey of broken dreams including the desire to have a family. And everything he describes about the drive to people please in lieu of boundaries and self care is true for me. I read Radical Remission by Kelly Turner, which I highly recommend, and it helped me try to find a new path with hope, with some alternative approaches. She speaks about the type 4 personality of which Dr Mate describes here. I’m am going through targeted treatment with good response so far. Warmly wishing you good health and healing on this shared path. 🙏💙I will also be adding Dr Gabor Mate’s books to read. Thank you Mayim for this wonderful interview 🙏💙
You can heal it. Now that you know and have the tools to go within and get rid of it. I love Dr. Gabor, he makes so much sense. I had a lump in my right breast back in Nov 2013. I cried for 5 mins, then went to work. I got rid of every single relationship that didn't serve my highest good. I had a fake best friend that was the spitting image of my toxic mother. I paired that with forgiving myself first, and those who had done me wrong. I went to the sauna 4 days a week, and in 4 months, that lump was nowhere to be found. You can beat this. Also watch Dr. Joe Dispenza's video. You have everything you need within to beat this! I'm rooting for you.
@@arcaenvm Prayers from Scottsdale, Arizona….🙏🏼💕✌🏽
At least one sibling of mine died from trying to please her religious community.
Love & appreciate Dr Mate’ so much. She needs to let him talk.
This is why there's so much truth in "generational sins" or "generational trauma"! Just wow. Excellent episode.
It goes straight back to the first male/ female
Adam and Eve who rebelled against God the Creator/ of ALL
And here man is- STILL
See on here someone is way, way, toooo excited 🙄🤨😔 is not all about u ☹️
I think there is something to be said about grandparents too. If not for my grandfather, I would have had a somewhat miserable childhood, even though my parents did their best. He was actually a step grandfather, who never had kids of his own, but he was the BEST. He had the patience of a saint and let us do all kinds of things. He was a natural. As soon as we heard his old truck fire up, we would jump in the back and away we would go, fishing, or maybe going to a farm to buy a calf, it was always an adventure. We never went to a fancy theme park or anything like that. I read somewhere that the human race started making great strides when the grandmothers lived long enough to take care of grandchildren. The grandparents just have more experience in raising children too. They don't have the same financial burdens as the parents, and they are more relaxed.
Absolutely. They touched on that at the beginning but yes, the loss of extended family is the reason for the extreme pressure on parents now
The paternal grandparents side of one female baby, kept coming up with ways to use the baby to make other family members well or feel better. Ie. a clinically depressed teenager - they wanted to get the baby and put it with the teenager as much as possible to make him feel better. Like giving the teenager a puppy I suppose to cure depression. but using someone elses baby.
The grandmother was going to have a nervous breakdown unless the mother of the baby gave up her child to the old woman for a day every week. Otherwise the child’s mum would be blamed and guilty of causing old woman’s nervous breakdown.
When the grandmother died, the grandfather wanted the 10 year old child (by then) to comfort him in his despair and grief for the loss of his wife dying. He didnt want his son to help with that, he wanted the female child.
The Mum refused to allow her baby to be used as the family remedy of sorts, and pushed it back on the others, ie parents of teen to give him attention, not the job for a baby. Grandmother to grow up and quit faking nervous breakdowns to get own way, and Grandfather to lean on his own son for comfort if needed - definitely not the job for a little girl to be burdened with the severe emotional burden of a man in his 80s and such grief which went on for about 3 years before he stopped trying to grab her as he was crying.
@@margareth1504 yes well that is when grandparents are a grater cause of trauma. Just like parents there are good and bad ones.
Agree that's why I find it's so good parents are having children at old age like between 40-50 they desire so much the children and have much more wisdom to teach them
I've NEVER seen anyone interrupt this brilliant man so much. Who is the guest here?
I realize she is a smart lady but dang why did you invite him?
My younger brother died in January this year of trauma at age 44. His childhood sexual abuse perpetuated by our grandfather from the age of 8 to 15, along with emotionally absent parents, an emotionally abusive father and stepmother and emotionally abusive older sibling manifested years later as cancer. He died 3 months after is 44th birthday 💔
I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. ♥️
Dear Venus Rain, that's so sad about your younger brother, what a heap of traumas, so sorry for his suffering and your loss of him. I imagine you've had a tough time too, in the same family. Glad you have found Gabor Mate's wisdom & calm kindness. Healing & Happiness & Blessings to us all 🙏😇🤗💖
Oh the pain, the pain. We need to learn so much. I’m so sorry about your brother.
Theres people who suffer so much in this life, I hope in future there is a test to see if parents have qualities to be parents
They killed your brother. They belong in jail. His poor sweet soul 😔may he rest in peace 🙏🏻🌟
As a Hungarian, it was a very pleasant surprise to see Dr. Máté Gábor here! I have a lot of respect for his work and of course Mayim Bialik's as well. ☺
Mindig vicces mikor külföldiek ki akarják ejteni a mi nyelvünk neveit, majdnem úgy hangzik mintha eggy ufó beszélne!
@@erikbihari3625 Mi is ilyesféleképpen ejthetjük az angolt. :D
Me too on all counts, Magyar here!
@@erikbihari3625 well, my dad would not teach us. It's closest to Finnish & Estonian.
@@szilvi5618nem hiszem.
The thumb down is based on the host not the speaker. Dr Maté is awesome.
It was not simply an interview. It was a conversation where I thought her expertise and knowledge as a neuroscientist greatly enhanced it. She's very passionate about her field of study and couldn't say enough good things about his new book and the profound effect it had on her. We are all flawed human beings and she cleary acknowledges her own. I'm sure all of critics on here don't have any.
I am so glad you did this interview. I co-slept with my daughter for years and breastfed for 3.5 years. (I work full-time in a professional role and I could make it work) The criticism I received from my ex-husband was infuriating. I knew I was doing the right thing by her, it was instinctual, and listening to this makes me feel vindicated.
Huh? How are u different from parents who are leave their newborns in the morning to some stranger only to return at night?
Good for you, you listened to and acted on your intuition. Your daughter doesn't know how good she's got it.
Sorry about your husband, he's probably jealous that he didn't get his needs met with so much love and consideration. You did the right thing. Babies should be breastfed.
Me, too. Nursing for years!
I love hearing Dr. Maté speak. I have followed him and read his books for years. I get very agitated when he is constantly interrupted by Mayim's need for "one up-ing" him to focus on herself. Dear Mayim, if you really want to help others with this podcast, PLEASE! Consider why you have this compulsive need to turn every conversation into a spotlight about your psyche, your suffering, your wounds; these constant 'humble brags' (or straight-out brags) that you know everything he is going to say before he says it, that you don't really need him there except to give yourself a platform... I think what you want to share with these podcasts is important. Very much so! But your need to overshadow your guests is really off-putting.
Exactly what I was thinking, thank you for putting it so nicely and succinctly, the "one upmanship" almost made me stop watching. Yes you are extremely smart Mayim, but please let the man speak, ask questions, and then listen.
She is very annoying with her body language, acts like a man at a bar.
Exactly! When he thanked her for the introduction she smirked pridefully rather than saying thank you. I would have enjoyed hearing him talk rather than hearing her self-absorbed analysis.
HungryRabbit I said the Same thing. Pls LET DR MATE’ talk please
This was a WONDERFUL interview!!!
I’ve been following Gabor Mate work for 8 years, right after I overcame a hard drug addiction.
I knew something major was missing regarding addiction, trauma, stress, ect from the Western medical approach & when I began listening to his talks & read his books it completely filled those gaps! Soooo amazing!!🤗
Not now too much
Congratulations to you for overcoming and being triumphant ovrr a harmful situation!
The teacher shows up when the student is ready, wow he’s right on time.
Beautiful 🙌 Hope you enjoy this one, Teri!!
Remember therapy was an embarrassment to the person and the family in the 70’s. Although late husband and I had our years with amazing psychiatrists. It certainly made me a better parent and person. Dr. Mate is helping me at 70 pay more attention to me. Thank you for having him on. I am anxiously awaiting his books.
I have listened to many of Gabor Mate’s interviews and still he says things that make me tear up. That last bit about small children learning to say no and how important it is … I imagine I was forced to be compliant so that explains a lot.
I seriously wish this woman wouldn't had interrupted every 5 words, Gabor is such a great guest. Will be watching him in other podcasts where he is more free to elaborate his ideas.
Marina..I totally agree! We want to hear him and a very small amount of her..Drives me nuts..His message is so powerful and important.I worked with children for many years and wish all parents could have this knowledge..We all need it of course..Im so grateful for him and what he has to teach us,,,
Totally agree. She was interrupting even when her co host was summarising the salient features..Juvenile behaviour. on her part. In the course of podcast she does mention that she too needed to learn a few things..so one can assume the awareness is there but level of awareness is not adequate enough to control the compulsive behaviour .
when you sweat the small stuff, it just makes you look like a little B. see how that works? you're not perfect either ya little B!
Exactly! I wish she would have shut up. He’s such a treasure and she was so damn obnoxious!
I have not forgotten the woman who kept me during one church service, away from anyone I knew. I was three, and began to cry.
She clamped her hand over my nose and mouth, and told me to *BE QUIET!* I thought she was going to kill me! She didn't even let me catch a breath first!
I wasn't a perfect mother, and I've grieved over my mistakes. But they were different mistakes than were perpetrated onto me!
Good god, she is just very enthusiastic to talk with this doctor! And keep in mind that she has adhd. And when we are very enthusiastic than it is more difficult to keep ‘it in’. More difficult than normal. I know how difficult this can be. You try very hard not to do it and that is utterly exhausting for ourselves. Negative comments on this does not help.
If you watch hundreds of other interviews from her with guests you can see that this interview is an exception. She is a fantastic interviewer.
I can honestly say that having learned who and having access to Gabor Mate' is the best thing I have gotten from modern technology.
As a girl growing up in Mississippi I'm not sure I would have learned about this phenomenal man and his wisdom. I read a lot, I was actually fascinated by psychology and really anything relating to medicine. Being raised in the south in the 70s & 80s I didn't realize women could be anything other than a teacher, a mom, a hairdresser etc. Typical female positions at that time. Had I had access to Mr Mate's knowledge I truly believe my life would be entirely different. Thank you for passing on your knowledge.
I am deeply impressed by Gabor Mate's work. This interview however does not give him the space to speak without being interrupted by the interviewer who thinks it's all about her...that's really too bad.
when you sweat the small stuff, it just makes you out to be a little B. see how that works? you're not perfect either you little B!
This is not an interview this is a conversation.
Dr Mate is a place in my heart that’s helped me in so many ways.
Recently I adopted an abandoned and abused dog.
She’s learned trust, loyalty and most importantly happiness.
So I’ve learned that we may all be able to adjust, no matter whatever past traumas.
That’s so beautiful. Thank you for giving this pup the love it deserves. Love to you
@@Saavycupcake but Who saved who? I needed to give her the love and care as much as she needed this.
I didn’t know that I was missing her in my life, until she got here. Huge PLUS shared by both equally
Dogs teach us to just kick dirt over the s**t and carry on…..too forgive but remember the lessons=The inability to ‘Let Go’ is the cause of most all human misery=Just feed the good wolf the most😉
Me too .. my rescue is the live of my life and yours too... No doubt. They heal is... We had them 🐾💙🐾💙
As someone with a brain tumour I can attest to the fact that I have all 4 personality traits that Gabor stated as making someone vulnerable to a chronic disease. I lead the healthiest lifestyle possible, except for enforcing boundaries. I’m now teaching my children that it’s ok to say no and show anger (something I wasn’t allowed to do growing up). Thank you Mayim and Gabor for this interview ❤😊
What are the 4 personality traits? I missed it.
@@cherubxingyu BECAUSE MAYIM WAS TALKING, a habit I HOPE MAYIM LOSES. 😊
If I may offer a possible "tweak" to this particular podcast as this is my first one. I found you bc I'm a gabor mate follower. mayim I know who you are bc of the big bang theory. the only difficult part for ME was when it felt like you were so excited to show that you knew what gabor was talking about bc you too are a follower and have read this book, which felt like interruptions. jason seemed to reel things in beautifully and was helpful there. i know you were excited mayim and you are SO SO smart. but perhaps, next time you can let the guest, specifically gabor, talk and let him get his full point across. this is not in anyway to hurt or offend. and the only reason I did not start with a positive which psychology teaches us to do, was bc you are way too authentic for that bull. i hope I made some sort of sense. shavuah tov. thank YOU for having gabor on most importantly for going inward and doing the inner self work.
Wow.......I'm sitting here crying because my reality has just been explained. To put words to what I am going through is a sort of relief in itself. Thank you for having Dr. Mate on your podcast!
I’m about 30 seconds in and I’m so so so pleased to see this for my consumption. I have soak his words in for about 2 years now. HE. IS. AMAZING.
0:56:xx - and that’s why a child might be anxious and angry and “annoyed” about a depressed and stressed-out mother: because she is not able to be supportive, but might be in need of support herself. Which means the child is somehow in danger, or at least under a constant kind of pressure. Let alone when other family members start to tell you: “you have to be kind and respectful and thankful to your mum”
Back in 2008, after many years of research and reflection, I came to the conclusion that our culture was problematic and in many ways the cause of many conditions, including depression. I wrote an email to Dr. Mate stating this "realization", and within 15 minutes received a reply that I was "correct". I was pleased and delighted, of course, I will never forget. Dr. Mate was already thinking along these lines. This book is a work of both great wisdom and courage. It takes a lot of courage to write a book of TRUTH in this toxic culture.
and yet with all of its flaws it has the least amount of conditions for the most people(% wise) that one can not find help in solving or living long enough for it to occur.
He had already written "Hold on to Your Kids", "When The Body Says No", and "In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts" before that and the work he was doing here in Vancouver was the go to for anyone wanting to support healing in the community.
Luckily now a mere 25 - 30 years later...ahem...he is being heard. Any of us he were seeing and feeling this and understanding what he was saying (as you noticed back then) are now breathing a sigh of relief that we finally have reached a time when everyone is open to hearing and he along with others are putting forward their life's work at just the right moment.
@@oceanbreathyogawellness4487 Have you read his newest book and would you still recommend reading the older ones as well? I don't have that much time to read and a way too long to-read list so I have to choose wisely!
This video came up after one I was watching and as I love Dr. Mate, I was pleased. I watch a LOT of videos online and the one pet peeve I have is a host who talks more than their guest. I know they have their stories too and I suggest they are interviewed by someone to get their stories out so that they can allow their guests to talk more. Just saying...and thanks for doing this interview.
Love that you all emphasized the importance of letting go of the labels/diagnoses/narratives that support the continuation of illness. Would be great to see an episode on this very point. It's not to say labels/diagnoses aren't helpful -- it's just not the entire story and can lead to a person feeling very stuck like they have been given a life sentence of "this is who I am and it will never get better."
Mayan,i have admired youfor a longtime
Please let thedr. Talk without interruption. I expectedore fr you
Stop , listen. Thank you for this video
Amazing man
.😊
Omg, Dr. Máté!!! When I listen to him I'm so proud that he is from my country! Nowadays there are not too many things I can be proud of as a Hungarian, but he's one of them.
I feel the same😊
@@AndiSzilagyi right?😊
OMG so glad HES FINALLY GETTING THE RECOGNITION HE DESERVES....DR GABOR AND HIS SON ARE ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING
I need this book. A fellow neuroscientist here and from what I've heard from Dr. Mate, it sounds like we are all the sum of environmental impacts on our interoceptive awareness and our consciousness. This is a massive zeitgeist change!!! I have a few autoimmune conditions and have lived a fair trauma filled life. More trauma in my adult years. It makes so damn much sense.
I'm an Independent Latino. Thank you Mayim!! I love Dr. Gabor!!
Thank-you Mayim for this very personally and spiritually enriching interview of Gabor Mate, who is as kind, humble and thoughtful in person as he appears in interviews. If you ask him about one of his favorite bookstores I likely will say one is Banyan Books in Vancouver BC, where I have seen him quietly sitting on of the stores chairs reading, he is a life long learner who inspires others to do the same. I am holding the vision Gabor Mate is compulsory reading and watching for policy makers, nurses, doctors, psychiatrists, and psychologists. As well as Emotional Intelligence by Dr. Daniel Goleman who writes extensively about the importance of the dance of emotional attunement between caregivers and babies, to the optimal emotional/psychological wellbeing of the child.
Later.
I relate and also am a lifelong learner hungry for answers and healing from my own multiple traumas.
I find Dr. Mate so very comforting.
@@sybilvazquez3339 Hi Sybil yes life long learning is very fulfilling and the knowledge builds and you keep growing in wonderful ways. I agree Dr. Mate's voice and his compassionate empathetic personality is very comforting.
I fast forwarded alot because i wanted to listen to Gabor
I audibly gasped when I saw this come up on my feed…
This is one of my most treasured podcasts…. And Dr Gabor’s books have quite literally changed my life!
So seeing you together, my worlds have collided! What beautiful minds you both have ❤ thank you so, so much for this. What a gift of an episode
I wish hosts would allow the guests to speak instead of constantly answering or interrupting and referring to their own issues. Makes it hard to listen to for any amount of time. Not effective listening and not an effective presentation. It’s not about YOU. Thank you Dr. Mate for your information.
when you sweat the small stuff, it just makes you out to be a little B. see how that works? you're not perfect either you little B!
In a word……🤯!!! I have been struggling with Long Covid and two autoimmune disease triggered by Covid for over two years now. I have been trying to connect the dots to make sense of what has happened to me and how to best optimize my health situation since all that western medicine can do is “treat the symptoms.”
I have been reading Gabor Mate’s books for a few months now. I have learned so much! Thank you for this interview because it helped me put things together even more! I am to the point where i can actually say I am glad I got sick in my late 40’s with a Novel virus that had no treatment nor a treatment to Long Covid. Because I was forced to search for my own answers. And what I have found is not only what will make me healthier physically, but emotionally, and spiritually as well! I hope I have learned this early enough to change some of the generational traumas in my family! Time to get to work and do some healing! Thanks again!
you really fell for all the covid propaganda
I have listened to Gabor in many interviews and the interactions here have truly brought forth new insights in a way that I had not heard in other interviews with Gabor. Loved seeing the interactions between the 3 of you. Really hope he comes back to speak with you in person. Thank you for this episode!
I agree.
Agree
That was by far the most important one of these broadcasts you two have ever done. I am so grateful. I battled cancer this past year and am still struggling with post op dysfunctions and other health issues. I had my gallbladder out a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been reading about the correlation between stress and disease and cancer and trauma. This information is groundbreaking and needs to be normalized. If we can make our environment less traumatic maybe we all have a chance to thrive as a society. Thank you for all your good work. You two are relationship goals and I aspire to manifest a partner who will support me and grow with me the way you two thrive together. Love and light. 🙏💗🥰
Wow - thanks so much for sharing your inspiring journey, Jennifer. Yes, we must normalize this important convo! Sending you well wishes for healing across the board.
I'm so glad you have found him too, I'm a health and wellbeing coach for the NHS in the UK. I use Dr Gabor Mate's teachings to train behaviour change and improve quality of their lives. I love this guy!!!! X
This was the first time I’ve ever heard of him. But everything he said made sense and spoke to me. I wonder if is bookworm whatever platform he uses could help me since I cannot afford therapy. I am in an abusive relationship. I have spent all of my savings on the surgeries that I had to have for my boyfriend breaking my bones. Now I have an auto immune disease I’m super sick and I cannot kick him out of my house because they just doubled my rent. But I know staying with him is making me really ill.
I will listen in little bits with breaths in between so as to calmly receive what Gabor has to share. My compassion goes out to Mayim as she moves through this meeting & later reflects upon what was occurring for her. Wow!🙏🏽
Whenever Gabor Mate speaks, he completely validates my existence. This is one of the most valuable people to listen to if you have been through childhood trauma, which is actually most of us, though most don't know or will admit they know they have been through childhood trauma.
Your words of love and compassion are reaching France! I am doing all I can to overcome my trauma and deal with my loved ones following the wisdom of Dr Mate. Thanks for everything!
For children whose needs are not met and have subconsciously learned very early on not to ask for anything from their environment, they learn to ignore their own needs. Some of us don't actually learn how to sleep through the night. We develop lifelong insomnia, we stayed up all night at five years of age listening to our parents sleep, making sure they were still breathing and alive, listening to the world outside our window, worrying about every noise that might signal danger of the world coming to an end. Some of us never learned to self soothe ourselves back to sleep, or we don't learn how to self regulate or we develop personality disorders. It's a vicious cycle of triggers/reactions and it can take a LONG time to rewire our brains and learn new patterns of being in this world. It can be done though, and we can break the cycle, and help alleviate our own suffering and those we love. Thank you for this amazing podcast!!!!
Awesome comment, Jennifer.
Speaking of elephant behavior… they also mourn the loss of their own by surrounding the dead with cries, paying respect, then eventually covering the deceased before continuing on their nonstop quest for food and water.
In the 70s & 80s, in order to control their population, we ( the US ) helped South Africa cull their elephant herds, leaving behind mostly young orphans. In the 90s we discovered that without the presence of older males, the male youths became delinquents. There’s actual footage of young elephants pelting less defenseless animals with rocks - a behavior that was, previously, unheard of.
We need more doctors and other professionals as Gabor Mate in this world. This all resonates so much with so many of us.
I'm barely 15 minutes in and am absolutely getting this book! I first ran across Maté in a TikTok that just blew me away with the connections he made. That led me to read "When the Body says No." I love that he's pushing back against conventional "wisdom" with uncomfortable truths!
Loved this episode. I've followed Gabor for 4 years and found his voice, his patience, and his willingness to hear people out as therapeutic as what he says. In the end, you and Jonathon talked about how to respond to children in a traumatic experience. I think valadation may be the answer.
Holy shit!!! This is my entire family behavior pattern. There is a saying in my family that love is service to each other. My grandfather it was called the good Samaritan. Auto immune diseases and cancer run rampant in my family as well. I need to sit down…
I love his son , Aaron, and learned of his father through following him . This was an extraordinarily enlightening interview. Well done!
I'm a fan of Aaron's bold journalism as well.
I am a big fan of Gabor and have watched many of his talks. I had a bit of a hard time with this one, and I had a story that he was often interrupted in this interview. Still appreciate your work!
Agreed, excellent but too much interruption.
Loved it though.
This episode gave me the scientific "proof" for what I have always intuitively known to be true! I followed my intuition about trauma healing and later raising my child and I was literally told I was crazy. Gabor Mate M.D. (along with other great minds & hearts) has opened so many doors to us and you are helping to spread the word and hold discussion and learn in a way that has not been accessible to many, until now. Thank you!!!
A truly excellent podcast.Have been a fan of Gabor Maté for a while now.Everyone needs to read that book.
My father was put in a home,run by nuns.His parents said they had to put him there because they had to build their business and couldn't afford to look after him.They took him back but he was severely traumatized and spent a large part of his life trying to win his parents' approval; it was heartbreaking for him.
Attachment theory is huge……Abandonment is an all too common trauma laid upon many generations beginning w how common divorce is…..
Something I never hear much about: The father connection. The baby bond. The mother's hormones and babies hormones and their effect on the father. Just all of that and more.
Thank you guys for this interview. It would have been even more wonderful and enriching if Mayim could let Gabor speak and finish his ideas/sentences, he has too much value things to say and she keeps interrupting him and just trying to keep this about herself :(
She annoys me with constant interruptions and her loud tone of voice.
I don't know if I can make it through this interview - as much as I want to hear what Dr. Mate has to say. Mayim cannot stop talking and it's quite annoying. I imagine I'll come back to this video to hear the wisdom he has to share. But for now, and only being 25 minutes in, I have to take a break. She's quite a know-it-all.
I would have loved to listen to this had you not kept interpreting Dr Maté... it became very difficult to follow... food for thought.
I love his work and everything he says
I am not even halfway through, and I just have to say Yes and AMEN! The book "The Body Keeps The Score" took great leaps to dare and challenge the "disease" & "treat / medicate illness" vs find the SOURCE, treating the MIND and body.
As a human, trauma survivor, Mom, Marriage & Family, and substance use therapist, Thank You for this book, this podcast, and your alls work to educate the world and work towards a healthier life for all. ❤️
The nonverbal language of the gentleman she is initially speaking with at around two minutes says it all. He hadn’t said two words, and she was interrupting him. As frustrated as he looked I decided to read through the comments and what I read about this woman’s constant interruptions led me to not even bothering to watch it. Sad because I love Dr. Mate. Some people think they are just too self important and this woman is one of them.
Amazing talk, though I wish there were less interruptions, especially the “ding ding ding” 🤧
This is the best interview with Dr. Gabor Mate! I love that they both read the book and ready to interview him with thoughtful questions and actually engage with him. Dr. Gabor Mate’s energy is also different in this one compare to other interviews/podcasts he did, more engaging as well and higher energy. I’m watching this for the third time now❤
I have been an avid follower of Dr Gabor Mate for many years now, and he has been instrumental in my learning to understanding my own chronic health issues, plus understanding why we - as a species - are so messed up. This is one of the best interviews I have heard with Dr Mate, and I have probably listened to the vast majority of them! Thank you Mayim, and Dr Mate for all that you do! 💚💫
I got goosebumps and teary eyed at the same time when Gabor said Mayim scores high on his authenticity scale. Stay yourself people, its worth it.
Great discussion. I am so happy to had Gabor on your show. I have followed him for years. When I got cancer the first book I reached for was his - so many answers to the question "why me". I am excited to read his new book and do the work that is needed to further my journey of healing. Thank you.
Thanks so much for watching Christine. Sending you strength in your journey. 🧠🫶🫶🫶
@@MayimBialik thank you!! that is really nice!! I ordered his book! Thank you and Jonathan for this great podcast - I love listening to you both. Cheers.
I enjoy Mayim Bialik usually but in this, she interrupts Gabor with so many comments ---preempting/interrupting what he is saying. He often doesn't get to give us the information clearly. Otherwise it has outstanding information. Gabor has MUCH to share which is of extreme value.
One more comment….☺️Mayim… I could see how much Gabor was validating you and it warmed my heart, because I was being validated at the same time. Would love to meet you one day and chat. You are a blessing and your podcast. Thank you to Jonathan as well.
This is my favorite Gabor Mate interview because Mayim Bialik has done her own personal work and interact with Gabor in a deeper way. This is worth watching several times or letting it replay while doing other things.