I had addiction issues, still have ‘minor’ ones, and Maté is very good, one of the best on the subject in my experience. But his first statement about living in a toxic culture is not borne out by the facts. People live longer than ever before, and far, far fewer people die young due to most of the population of young men had to go to war, had, childbirth, both for the mother and high infant mortality rates and of course diseases etc. I agree to our culture being toxic, but the way he framed it was disingenuous. Also, people didn’t have access to ultra refined substances and/or distilled alcohol like we do today, which we have only been available to the masses, most to nobody, for the past 100-200 years, depending on the drug/alcohol. I think the toxicity is from processed food, lack of exercise, lowering educational standards and therefore people not being the best they can be, and not even know it. They think drinking coke, eating pizza and not knowing civics to the highest degree one is capable, is normal and fine. We’re not encouraged, enough at least, to listen to our innate intuition we should know more, do more exercise, eat better etc. This is due to us living in a democratic society, so the people choose the ‘leaders’, and so it follows that if the people doing the hiring are unhealthy and ill informed, which makes them more ignorant, therefore more easily manipulated, then it’s only logical that those they choose to ’lead’ are chosen by largely, who then reinforce the reasons why they were voted into office. A majority aren’t going to vote for someone who tells them they need to do the work, on themselves and on the problems in society. They’re going to vote for the person who promises to ‘fix’ all the problems themselves. They hand over responsibility, and responsibility is power. That’s how civilizations descend into tyranny, in my opinion, based on what I know, seen and read. But he’s far better than most on addiction issues at the individual level, at least, for sure.
Thanks for the hope! I really need to stop drinking alcohol, it's ruining my life. To hear that addictions can be a great teacher gives me a lot of hope for the future.
My friend, for me they key was to not give up. The massive research I've done, and the strategies and techniques I've tried , were mostly failures. But I continued looking for a way out. I found that it takes a combination of physical, emotional, social, and mental work to heal. Good luck. Have faith in God. Don't ask him to help YOU do it. Ask Him to DO it FOR you. We're powerless vs addiction. He's is not..
Over 5 years in recovery. I couldn’t agree more with the gentleman. I would encourage anyone who is struggling to try hiking and learning a musical instrument. Hiking has a very interesting effect on my thinking. I might be in a horrible mood when I arrive at the trailhead. But once I commit by just walking, and continuing to walk, I start to see the beauty around me. Next thing I know, even though I may be a little scared, my curiosity is up. What’s around this next corner? Next thing I know I’ve arrived at the beautiful waterfall or some mountain or geological feature that absolutely makes my day….screw addiction. Focus on recovery and taking care of yourself and learning to set boundaries with those who you struggle with. Be kind. Next thing you know you’ll have some time under your belt in recovery.
That’s my life now, hiking and camping. And I live in the most beautiful place in the mountains in bc Canada. I’ve found so many beautiful waterfalls. One hike me and my gf did was brutal, vertical and very difficult. But it was only about an hr and in that hr there were six incredible waterfalls with swimming holes at the bottom. It was so worth the struggle. 3/4 the way up we passed some people coming down. One woman was probably 70 years old. I felt like such a wimp lol. I’m 48 but a smoker so….anyways, that gave me motivation lol. I’m four years clean from 25 years of active addiction. I was an IV drug user too for the last five years of my addiction. It had been well over ten years since I went camping by the time I got clean. I absolutely can’t get enough of it. And we have three large dogs also so pretty safe from predators as there are many bears and cougars where I live.
@@Chaos1976 So great to hear that! Oh, man, I'd love to do that hike you mentioned! I've seen pictures and hiking videos of the BC mountains. Breathtaking scenery! ...Good luck and continued success to you!
@@mikel917 thanks for sharing your story as well. You’re right, screw addiction, I wanna get out there and live. And it’s great. Yes, bc has some stunning scenery. That trail is in the Kootenays. If you ever want to go on an incredible hike go there and check out the Kokanee glacier trail. There’s videos of it on here. I had that glacier on the mountain as a view across Kootenay lake when I lived there. It’s worth traveling for that. Nelson bc is the town it’s near. There’s zip lines and a cave tour you can go on. It’s seven hrs and you have to repel 40 feet into it if you take that tour. There’s ainsworth hot springs that’s a hot spring inside of a cave. Just so many incredible things in that area
Easy to say. It’s hard to overcome the triggers of dealing with pain. It takes a long time to heal. I stay sober for long periods but not long enough to make the definitive change. Also once you stop using, dopamine and serotonin are screwed up, and the depression is very heavy maybe more so than a person that is depressed but have no addiction. And this doesn’t take a couple months to resolve but longer and it’s difficult to get there. Most of the time ppl that don’t have addictions cannot truly understand and it’s normal
@@Wonks10000 I appreciate your words and the fact you took the time to reply to my comment. I’m in a bad place at moment..I know it’ll get better bc I don’t give up but I want to just feel ok…I’m very aware of my inner struggles but just can’t heal sometimes and sometimes I heal but it doesn’t last.
@@yoursugarismineno you’re just weak minded right now. I used to be like that. You just have to fester in it. You have to want it. I was hopeless. I just jumped off at 40 mg methadone from 105. I was a disgusting junky for 2/3 of my life. You have to do something. I became a barber. Felt proud of myself. Something I’ve never felt before. The school I learned how to talk to people sober. They all knew because I told them. I was fresh off of methadone. I couldn’t even talk normal for months. Something happened to my soul. There’s a recipe to it. And you need God. My eyes are different now. I see strength. Not a coward anymore. You can fkin do it. There’s this book I wish you could read. It’s called the rocking chair prophet. Man I wish I could bottle what happened to me and give it to you
Never never never forget the Spiritual aspect of recovery. Believing in a power greater than ourselves helps us keep our minds off of us and on God who created us with a purpose and part of that purpose is helping others . When we help & serve others we help ourselves. Our society seems to be becoming more Narcissistic than ever before and that is to our detriment. I'm a Christian man and truly believe that my Faith in GOD helped me overcome a horrible addiction to prescribed pain medicine.
I just quit alcohol within the past 6 months. I realize what triggers my will to drink. I don't go to meetings, but set my goal is to adapt a secure attachment style. I went to a couple of meetings and didn't stand up to identify with 'being an alcoholic'. Forever? No way.
I got thrown out of AA-Meeting yesterday, because the friend I was with, was fucked up... I wasn't fully sober myself, (weed) (speed) but I feel like shit now... 😪😢
In AA it's simply stated that if you can control your drinking you're not an alcoholic. AA is really for the drinkers who simply cannot stop once they start
I love this and I’m glad you spoke about 12 steps having some issues. I am 10 years sober and I’ve been in AA the whole time, it saved my life 100% but it’s not a stop shop, I’ve had to get outside help to deal with why I choose to use alcohol to numb… Gabor is 100% when he says that stopping drinking doesn’t really mean sober, I have struggled with using sugary foods and shopping to avoid difficult emotions. I’m still learning to connect with myself, my emotions and heal trauma. In AA I too often heard, it doesn’t matter why you used, what matters is you are an alcoholic/addict and you come to meetings. I always push back, well we didn’t get here by accident, getting to the root will likely ensure healing and that less likely chance of relapse… it is not easy, anyone reading this keep f*cling going!! It’s not easy but it’s worth it. ❤
@@kittyk.klandasions7008 Dear beautiful soul, Sending love and light from my heart to yours. My soulmate and spirit guide and love of my life have been my kitty cats 😻🐾🦁🪽🐾😺
People are not looking inwards, lot find it painful. So they just carry on, with the addiction. They think it's the easier way. I've been clean for thirty years. I've been in extreme pain and suffered depression. I would rather feel, it than numb it.
It might be best to only speak for yourself. You can't know about anyone else, just you. You do you, and let others find their own way--it might just look different than yours. ✌️
Well the percentage of people getting clean and sobber, is 1 percent get clean. All the rest die eventually. Relapses and over doses. You got to dig deep, in the subconscious. Know what your dealing with. Excepting you have ptsd. Lot people can't, reach the stuff, they suppressing. Body and nature, will not in danger you.
Everything Dr. Mate says makes so much sense. I wish more people in mainstream recovery and medical fields knew about his work. I think it would make a huge difference.
Awesome video Doug and Dr. Gabor! Recovery from addiction is a complex process and what works best can vary from person to person. These strategies can help you: 1. Acknowledge the problem, recognize and accept that you have an addiction. 2. Build a support system by surrounding yourself with a strong support network of family, friends, or support groups. 3. Modify your environment avoiding certain people, places, or situations associated with substance use. 4. Seek professional help.👋❤
I just wish the doctors and people who work in the field of addiction understood all this, im an addict for 37 years except for the odd year or 2 in recovery but the entire system is geared towards keeping people trapped in addiction, many people in the field of addiction don't understand these basic things, I've lent gabor mate books to doctors, but it's the entire system that is desperately in need of change. I find recovery in general to be a trap , they will only help you if you agree to go on methadone for a long time, so they give you another addiction before they consider giving you a detox or treatment!
There's nothing wrong with being on a medication for the rest of your life. Diabetics don't go without insulin, so why should you have to go without something you need so you can function in everyday life?
I was treated for cannabis addiction back in 2000-2010, gave it up for 10 years and now am prescribed it medicinally and it's really amazing for my condition.
Thanks for a great talk! I want to add about AA that you’re not obliged to say that you’re an addict even it’s accustom. The only requirement is to want to stop drinking. The purpose is what Gabor first described. To step out of the denial. And I’d dare to claim that after u get some recovery u don’t really identify with it, it’s more like destigmatize it for the newcomers.
I liked his video on childhood trauma and recovery. We are all “in recovery.” Well, what are we actually “recovering?” We are recovering our authentic self, who we really, truly are.
I typically don't comment in this way, but after hearing you speak, I felt compelled to share my thoughts. As a member of AA, I find great joy in exploring and understanding myself. Trauma has been a challenging beast, and my struggle with alcoholism only emerged when I was sober. The sole requirement for belonging to AA is a sincere desire to quit drinking. No one is asked to be anything other than a lost soul seeking help and understanding from those who have walked a similar path. The bond formed when one alcoholic supports another is truly extraordinary.
Facts! Not sure why people think admitting it should make them feel guilty. Plus, you get to have a community of non drinkers and do non drinker activities
fasting for 30 days every year as it teaches u discipline and patience during the struggle from all pleasures and comforts therefore once u master that u can master anything
Healthy anger (not rage/agressive) / Agency (we’re in charge of our life, i take the advices but I’m making the decisions) / authenticity / awareness (mindful awareness, what arises in our mind) / curiosity towards oneself (let go of ideas that don’t serve us anymore) …
Exercise....art..hobbies...food ...connection. it's behaviour change ...you cannot sit and think your way to recovery. You must do..Doing therapy beats talk based and I work in addictions and have for 12 years.
The 12th step program in AA is all about shedding that fall self. If it’s done correctly because there is a wrong way of doing it. You will connect infinitely, which brings you back to your true self. You surrender. It’s not to say that you are fixed. But if you work those steps in all your affairs, moment to moment in your life, you will continue to create a momentum with those steps and ultimately you will maintain that infinite connection. Step 11 even suggest meditating regularly to maintain conscious contact with God. You are one with that energy source. How you get there is very unique to each individual. so it’s not just a 12 step program that can take you there but that is one way. AA is that. If you’re just nesting there and you are not doing the work then yes you will only identify with the idea that you are an addict. You will not get to truly know who you are. The idea is to learn the steps, create a momentum and keep that conscious contact with God. Ultimately, knowing truly who you are. And walking with that.
It's no wonder recovery is so difficult. If someone is going down the path of recovery with the ostensible goal of recovering themselves, but the reason they've taken substances is because they don't like themselves, then the journey to recovering a person that they don't like or don't consider worthy of recovering seems to be an exercise in futility at best, or even a poor choice, a morally wrong choice at worst from the perspective of the people in recovery. The underlying issue in any self-neglect/self-harm paradigm seems to be "I am not worthy of better." So how do you convince someone that they have greater worth than they believe they do when they so ardently defend their position of unworthiness and, quite frankly, have significant evidence to support that belief that's been consistently reinforced throughout their life? It seems to me that attempting to win that battle against people who likely believe they are experts in their own respective lives, battling against the Dunning-Kruger effect, and people's inherent resistance to changing their minds once made up should be a central focus in their recovery.
The pursuit of recovery undoes the lack of self concept. And nobody pursues sobriety if they feel unworthy, you typically oscillate between worthiness and unworthiness..
@WilliamJohnson-cg6tz Gabor is not talking about recovery of the traumatized self you became, but the self you were or would have been if trauma had not happened to you in the first place. That is the self most of us don't know and could benefit from recovering.
Another thing that is really sad is in this new world, doctors Overlook the root cause of a lot of people's issues. For instance adhd, and adults especially, can cause suicidal depression and a lot of other issues that make them not able to function properly. So they are refused to treatment especially if they are recovering addicts from another substance such as opiates. And panic attacks, a lot of if not almost all recovering addicts, like myself had panic disorder since I was nine. I'm 32 and started using opiates at like 26, been clean for a while now but the point is, I can't get the right help for those issues that the underlying reasons that I would use. But they had no problem prescribing them to children in school to get straight a's, as an adult it's not good because what are you going to do suffer from ADHD and panic attacks without being treated properly? Antidepressants and therapy can work to an extent but sometimes some people's brains are wired to an extent that there really is no logical reasoning or therapist that can just talk the ADHD out of you or the panic attacks. Genetic and it happens but you cannot live every day with panic attacks you can damage your heart you can do a lot of damage to yourself and cause more trauma. Like benzodiazepines yes there are people that abused them and yes they may need a long taper, but if they have them, then at least they know is a safety blanket there's something there to stop the panic attacks which might actually make them not want to take them as much. But there are so many humans on Earth you cannot say that every person is the same and will abused all the medications given to them. Sometimes those medications are not their drug of choice that they were addicted to but stop the triggers that made them use in the first place. It's very complex and because of all of the abusers of certain medications, it makes it hard for people like even myself to get treated properly. I mean I'm 32 years old and I can't even leave the house but yet I'm clean it's the craziest thing I don't crave opiates or anything anymore, but my ADHD is literally killing me and my panic attacks happen for no logical reasoning. Like I literally told my doctor I have no logical reasoning as to why these things happen they just happen it's like my heart just starts racing and never stops. I'll have to take something like an Ativan or something just to calm down but of course I get them from somebody that's prescribed them, I don't abuse them but if I didn't take them or have them for one of those moments or I could have a moment where I Collapse and hurt myself which has happened before. I've even fainted lying down from a panic attack
"... My ADHD is literally killing me and my panic attacks happen for no logical reasoning." I get exactly what you are saying. It's hell living (existing really) in a near-constant state of anxiety about what your brain will do next to sabotage everything.
I always enjoy Gabor Mate. That said, the AA comments sounds like a misunderstanding of AA. Maybe he's just talking about *meetings* and not the actual AA 12 Steps and the Big Book of AA. Meetings are *not* the program. The core literature specifically says that the liquor was but a symptom of underlying causes and conditions. Those causes and conditions would be the psychological and emotional twists caused by our past traumas, dysfunctional behavior, etc.
At one time AA was all there was to help people understand they were hurting and needed help: and not an insane monster. There is so much more help now to regain health and face trauma. AA is still needed because it’s free and almost always available. We lost contact with our connection to others when we lost our sense of self. AA is messy and full of difficult personalities. It is a good reintroduction to life as it is. The “rules” are that we are here to help each other. I primarily went to urban groups, most often to mixed gay/straight groups. I think rural groups may be more pushing Christianity and run by some alcoholic who wants to enforce AA as “doctrine” - even some of them get better. I liked to give step talks from the point of view of a non-deist to remind people that we all have our own path to self-healing. And because I’m a contrarian. I’ve been trying to heal from childhood trauma for almost 60 years. I’m 75. I thought I could have more of the life I wanted: love, children, work-if I took every opportunity and task presented. Life just doesn’t work that way. That’s one advantage of being an atheist-no great power did this to me. Everybody just gets what they get. I I got lucky in many ways others weren’t and all I can do is be a human doing the best I can. That’s what I got sober to do.
As the saying goes: "The best thing about abstinence: Your emotions come back, the worst thing about abstinence: Your emotions come back" Though I must admit: Isn't attending AA meetings on a daily basis in a way swapping out the addictive behaviour of drinking alcohol to the addictive behaviour of meeting with "alcoholics" talking about alcohol
Most people don’t recover because it’s such a comprehensive healing and growth Learning Curve and so many people have no clue how to piece themselves back together and stop identifying with everything that is Not them. The loss of identity is, in most cases, lost forever in multiple aspects. So very very people succeed because so few people know how and don’t want to resolve their deepest most honest issues and face them to resolve it once and for good. It’s only for the strong, honest, willing and able.
I think AA/NA goes two different ways it either works for you or it simply doesn't. I am an addict and AA/NA does not work for me. Working with a great outpatient treatment center and having a counselor i trust and connect with has helped me. I have battled addiction since i was 15 and i am now 34...i got sober from meth in 2017 and relapsed October of 2021 i dabbled that entire month of October on the weekends...i have been sober since October 31St 2021 and i no longer crave getting high and i have moved on in life. You can find your way...if AA/NA works for someone that is awesome. I do want to say that i struggled with identifying as an addict because i never used substances everyday i am a binge addict at my worst i was using meth 3 days a week..it was never everyday i have struggled with binges for a long time in a cycle of using then getting sober for a few months then binging..idk what to calll it..
People- places and things- change your environment, whether you have the ability to move away or simply eliminate people that have higher toxicity. It’s not easy, especially if you lack a support system. Redecorate, let go of sentiment if it reminds you of triggers, and change your number. Be selective about who you associate with and it’s true that sometimes you’re better off alone than with toxic companions and family
The key is learning coping methods. If you're doing recovery as a priority, the work associated with that which will cause you to learn coping methods. Have you seen Dr. KJ Foster's resilience training? It's terrific and speaks to this issue directly.
DR.MATE is very Compassionate + his book "hungry ghosts" is thorough proof of it! He has Rational View on a.a. because of his intelligence. But most of the people in a.a. drowning in alcohol have used it as a Life raft+ There's Nothing Wrong with that! Same thing with Religion. They Both bring heated debates for +Against. Why would something that Works for Someone get Another SO Upset? CANNABIS ADDICT for 46 yrs. It's Brought me Down Getting High, quite the Contradiction
AA has millions of recovered people and a much greater success rate of 5 percent The gentleman who bashed it has only shown his own ignorance and closed mindedness I don’t profess to say AA is the only avenue to recovery but after 38 wonderful years of sobriety it healed me and saved my life
It's probably closer to 8%. For everyone it has helped, there are far more it hasn't helped. There are 7 billion people on the planet. I am glad it worked for you, though. That's awesome!
@@matthewlenzmeier9859 I think you got the answer. This is the issue in AA, they treat people often as if they are dry-drunk then. So - it is a cult, of course it is - that is why it works! But very tough if you leave. This is because of fear.
So, you have 38 years of sobriety, but you have no problem violating the 11th tradition on the internet. Interesting. This type of behavior and other self-aggrandizing, narcissism by AA's with "long-term sobriety" makes it very difficult for me to attend meetings. And It seems to me that the "bleeding deacon" phenomenon has become worse with the rise of social media and the outbreak of Covid. I don't know why. I really don't see the point of spend an hour, or more, a day with people who think it is their right and duty to lecture me (often rudely) and others about the "right" way to get sober, stay sober, and live - when they are obviously dissatisfied with themselves and the world they live in. Why should I engage in a ritualistic social activity that makes me feels worse than I did before I went there? No thanks.
@etherashe5164 The 11th tradition hasn't been broken here this person is sharing their experience of AA not advertising a meeting 😂 Also it quite clearly states in the book that AA was founded to help "chronic alcoholics" if your a heavy drinker or a problem drinker then you probably wouldn't get a lot out of regular AA meetings. Lastly your reference to this person as a "Bleeding deacon" makes no sense whatsoever if AA didn't work for someone that's fine but they can't then write it off as useless, I've tried all manners of recovery none of them worked long term 😢 but AA did and still does work for me, that said I don't shout down and criticise anyone who chooses another path it's a personal preference
I started using heroin when i was 20 or so. And i thought this is the best thing in my life. When my mother was talking all days what a failure i am and all the worst, on heroin i just didn't care no more .. it almost didn't hurt me. I just feel a little sorry, that i didn't figured out, that i am working and i could leave and find my own place. I rather listened to humiliations all the time, than leave. .
Tried AA. But having to listen to the endless and morbid drunkalogues and announce myself as an alcoholic, giving my life over to a higher power… no wonder AA has a 5-8% “success” rate. 90 meetings in 90 days? How the hell does help anyone? But most baffling is why AA is the default? Went to my doctor years ago and told him I was concerned with my increasing drinking problem. His immediate response was that I go to AA. People that get into legal problems due to alcohol the courts sentence them to AA attendance. I hope i will get to witness the demise and final end of AA before i depart this mortal coil. There are so many alternative roads to addiction recovery based on psychology, science and nutrition. Hmm, there you go: the “higher power” trifecta.
I’m not a fan of telling people “you can’t drink anything because you can’t stop” . It seems damaging to me to tell them they don’t have control, Bandler ( one of my idols ) says he takes them to the bar to show them they can have a drink and then stop. That makes much more sense to me.
I agree with you on AA and have had Drs recommend it to me , as well.. It's like you think I couldn't find this information on my own?! A program developed in the 30s.
What's even more damaging is that you are literally AFFIRMING to yourself daily that you are addict. Affirmation s...words, are incredibly powerful. If you are telling yourself this on a daily basis ,you are telling your subconscious...this is all I am. Words are spells...spelling
NAC supplement with l-glutamine allows the body to make a lot of glutamate and that occupies the glutamate receptor making desires for drugs way less. These supplements also help your body make more glutathione which detoxes your body. This is by far the best addiction solution.
I had addiction issues, still have ‘minor’ ones, and Maté is very good, one of the best on the subject in my experience. But his first statement about living in a toxic culture is not borne out by the facts. People live longer than ever before, and far, far fewer people die young due to most of the population of young men had to go to war, had, childbirth, both for the mother and high infant mortality rates and of course diseases etc. I agree to our culture being toxic, but the way he framed it was disingenuous. Also, people didn’t have access to ultra refined substances and/or distilled alcohol like we do today, which we have only been available to the masses, most to nobody, for the past 100-200 years, depending on the drug/alcohol. I think the toxicity is from processed food, lack of exercise, lowering educational standards and therefore people not being the best they can be, and not even know it. They think drinking coke, eating pizza and not knowing civics to the highest degree one is capable, is normal and fine. We’re not encouraged, enough at least, to listen to our innate intuition we should know more, do more exercise, eat better etc. This is due to us living in a democratic society, so the people choose the ‘leaders’, and so it follows that if the people doing the hiring are unhealthy and ill informed, which makes them more ignorant, therefore more easily manipulated, then it’s only logical that those they choose to ’lead’ are chosen by largely, who then reinforce the reasons why they were voted into office. A majority aren’t going to vote for someone who tells them they need to do the work, on themselves and on the problems in society. They’re going to vote for the person who promises to ‘fix’ all the problems themselves. They hand over responsibility, and responsibility is power. That’s how civilizations descend into tyranny, in my opinion, based on what I know, seen and read. But he’s far better than most on addiction issues at the individual level, at least, for sure.
At 7.00 the host says 'one of my biggest problems with it is everyone has to identify as an addict or an alcoholic'. Says he's never been but he has a problem with it. His problem is the fact he has obviously never been, it's comments like that that stops people getting though the door and is very dangerous. Newcomers are welcomed and asked to listen throughout the meeting and offered a chance to speak at the end openly or to an individual if they want to.
I have conscious awareness of what my trauma did to me (bungie cord accident to my eye). Is my brain permanent damaged. You do give me hope that I can heal. I think a physical trauma is different than .mental abuse. I don't know why I even write this. It's not like I will ever be able to speak with you.
I went to email and ask for advice. Replayed yesterday. Just saying the team was looking over. No RESPONSE! Needing 1:1 holistic common sense therapist. For loved one. Searching. Our system is such a failure and am looking for common sense holistic approach. If anyone can advise?
Yes!! I did not like AA & I refused to identify with & say “I’m an addict” wtf? And I met people 10, 20, or 30 years sober BUT if they miss 1 meeting they will relapse. I said “oh no, this isn’t how I want to be”. No judgement! I just refused to be this way, I want to recover & heal to the point where I’m not even triggered/ craving…& I have gotten to this point currently 🎉🎉
Good for you for seeing the trap! as if addiction wasn't bad enough, getting advice+labels are toxic. I'm trying to quit weed once again, the major problem is the herb has positive powers. good luck + Hang on tight to HOPE!
Right?! 😂 I don’t even really see weed as an issue. I don’t smoke though Unless it is creating negative consequences and destroying your life then yes, ok time to think about quitting. I want to quit caffeine but I just love the “boost” it gives me & I love high quality coffee so I’m not sure if I even want to make it happen 😆
"Our culture is getting incredibly stressful..." Too many stressors. In the US, we are manifesting addiction and mental health conditions for many because so many cannot see a path toward a fulfilling future. Trades have been removed from most public education systems and replaced with endless testing. Public education has become a marketplace for meaningless training, software, textbooks, testing, and more. We have communities that can't drink their own water, food deserts, heat deserts, and toxic air. The US has the most expensive healthcare system and the least healthy population in the industrialized world.
It all started in the 1960s Sexual Revolution, the rise of the EGO, individualism -> broken families -> trauma / abandonment trauma in children -> aided by an economic push towards 2 parents working to be able to meet costs of living -> failure of single parenthood -> drive towards the cities and loss of touch with the laws of nature - > social media -> demise of the concept of a higher power (God) -> demise of moral standards of behaviour...people increasingly seeking serenity through people places and things, through selfish, self seeking dishonest behaviours which only give temporary respite from facing one self...all the while the press, complicit, blaming this and that... sociatal breakdown. A few take responsibility, but time will tell whether this will be enough.
We do not discuss that somethings are made with addictive chemicals by design to create addiction in people. Tobacco does not cause cancer or addiction the filters on cigarettes do. Food has chemicals in them to make us crave them. The list goes on in our toxic societies.
Our culture has but one name: capitalism is our culture and lifestyle and the stressful human demands come from the pursuit and forceful alignment with this lifestyle. The paradox of convenience consist of acknowledging both aspects of capitalistic culture: the positives and the negatives, a culture of consumerism where condemning the negative aspects to oblivion also means to get rid of the positive productive aspects of it all, for capitalism is only one singular concept, and if you destroy the negative, you also destroy the positives. The paradox of capitalism and it has the potential of satisfying reasonable needs as well as the lowest instincts of human beings, is therefore at the root of the increase in stress. Because in nature there is a simplicity that big cities don't have, thus there is more peace, less resources and services, but more peace, a peace that all the goods and services from big cities can provide, fail to deliver anyways. And that is the paradox. The more complex a society is in terms of technology, industry, and artificitially adquired needs (example: training ai bots as a job), the more stressful it will be, and that is something good to know, for we humans can know where excatly the boundaries of innovation are, that balance both human health and technological ambition. It is a culture that primarily encourages us not to take care of our environment, IF THAT GOAL IS NOT IN ALIGNMENT WITH A PROFITABLE BUSINESS. The logic of business in itself is one conceptual, different thing, separated from the logic of human health and a healthy environment and human interaccion. Capitalism by definition aims at excesses in terms of production and spending, BY DEFINITION. So where we have a problem boundaries, just by is very nature. A car has a pedal to stop the car, but with capitalistic culture there is no pedal to slow it down, by its very design it cannot slow down and there I say it is not align with the human ability to keep up with it speed, that is why people's biological resilience to endure the never -ending pressures of the capitalistic machine fail sooner than later. There is a limit to a humans ability to endure stress, but there is no limit to the capitalistic machine to make extraordinary demands from us humans. I guess we are CONDEMN TO keep living this toxic lifestyle, this painful paradox, until we break down, until the body says enough.
And also most people who are addicts don’t want to work with the trauma they only want pills unfortunately! I work with addictions and a lot of the people are like that!
have human beings not always lived in an environment that breeds trauma. Thomas hobbes said in the 17th century 'life is nasty, brutish and short'. The only difference today is life is longer.
Here is the deal, if consistent use of substance leads you to the dark path and you realize that and then go to the AA and try to deny that you are an addict, you are still in denial. A lot of people go through this initially and soon get humbled after slipping few times and coming back to AA.
Was clean for 10 years, it's hard. Haven't cleaned up yet from this time around yet and trying to just remember your life gets worse using. Eventually it's not fun anymore. If we could all do just occasional use it would all be fine but once you get to withdrawal where you can't function day to day it becomes your full time job.
I'm quitting weed in the very near future, as soon as what I currently have runs out. I've already tapered my usage, and my medical card is about to expire, so that puts a relatively significant obstacle in the way if I tried to relapse. I know the hardest thing for me to deal with in the process is going to be boredom. But, I'm going to keep a note with myself that says in all caps "YOU WERE BORED SMOKING WEED IDIOT" that I will look at whenever things get hairy.
Pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice! I would also invite to explore that even suffering is a projection or perception thing, it doesn't have be there or at the very least at the same intensity that we all suffer!
When my neighborhood turns from a silent community. Then leave for 25 years but would go say hi and them kids are worse then us. Doctors going to a therapy session. Tell us that speakers need to stop being paid.
Wow???? Still don’t understand AA AT ALL?!! one said he didn’t go to AA one said he went to a few..? Aa is full of people who are heavy drinkers and heavy users… going to AA meetings is not a treatment to recover?!! It’s a place to learn how to recover-( by the completing and practicing the 12 steps by recovering,( past tense), and helping alcoholics after you recover?!! Alcoholism starts when the bottle and the bag end…. They got that part right- but you can recover from addiction and alcoholism- I’m shocked that Yo Gabba Gabba doesn’t know this or speak on this…? Most people don’t in the medical community- there is a way out- these guys mean well but are speaking to the heavy drinker or situational or emotional User… not the real alcoholic or addict for which the medical model has never been able to truly help- stop saying AA does not work- please 🙏
I'vve been sober since 1971. I still say I'm an alcoholic becaause it reminds me that ingesting even a small mount of alcohol will trigger a compulsive reaction that will cause me to keep drinking. I don't want to go back to that hideous world, so I don't drink. I haven't a significant urge to drink for many years. But my body retains the anomaly of the alcoholic. Also, meetings are great because they give me an opportunity to be helpful to newcomers, and I love that. And AA offers great community, as well.
It says GM has 20 yrs experience working with addicted and mentally ill people, but NO MENTION ANYWHERE he has a medical specialty. So my question is: can anybody claim to be a specialist without schooling?
He’s got credentials he is a board certified MD in Canuck Country, das Canada, he did 20 plus years as a GP and many years of Emergency Room Trauma Treatment. He’s the real deal not a Chiropractor that has one year of Physiology in a med school, Chiropractors don’t do?? 7 years of med school and hospital rotations, I’m just not a fan of Chiropractic Hocus Pocus, What the heck kind of treatment is an “Adjustment” cracking my knuckles constantly as a kid only inflamed the joints,
@@cliffgoodman8958 wtf...I did not mention chiropractor. Where that come from?? I knew all that, however, he is not qualified as a psychotherapist or child expert, but wants ppl to think he is. Charlatans do this 🙁
Is not 20 years working DIRECTLY with people who have substance use issues not the best schooling one could have? Plus he is a certified medical doctor.
@@graceb3934 I have been working more than twenty yrs with animals, but I'm not a vet. Does that make me an expert? NO! This guy has delusions of grandeur!
Most of his experience is real: working with hard-core addicts from the streets of Toronto. It has the highest concentration of addicts in North America. What he has learned through actual interaction, treatment and research is a lot better than what anybody can get through book learning (which he does regularly).
Dr. Maté is a true gentleman and healer. Protect this man at all costs!
I had addiction issues, still have ‘minor’ ones, and Maté is very good, one of the best on the subject in my experience. But his first statement about living in a toxic culture is not borne out by the facts. People live longer than ever before, and far, far fewer people die young due to most of the population of young men had to go to war, had, childbirth, both for the mother and high infant mortality rates and of course diseases etc.
I agree to our culture being toxic, but the way he framed it was disingenuous. Also, people didn’t have access to ultra refined substances and/or distilled alcohol like we do today, which we have only been available to the masses, most to nobody, for the past 100-200 years, depending on the drug/alcohol.
I think the toxicity is from processed food, lack of exercise, lowering educational standards and therefore people not being the best they can be, and not even know it. They think drinking coke, eating pizza and not knowing civics to the highest degree one is capable, is normal and fine. We’re not encouraged, enough at least, to listen to our innate intuition we should know more, do more exercise, eat better etc.
This is due to us living in a democratic society, so the people choose the ‘leaders’, and so it follows that if the people doing the hiring are unhealthy and ill informed, which makes them more ignorant, therefore more easily manipulated, then it’s only logical that those they choose to ’lead’ are chosen by largely, who then reinforce the reasons why they were voted into office.
A majority aren’t going to vote for someone who tells them they need to do the work, on themselves and on the problems in society. They’re going to vote for the person who promises to ‘fix’ all the problems themselves. They hand over responsibility, and responsibility is power. That’s how civilizations descend into tyranny, in my opinion, based on what I know, seen and read.
But he’s far better than most on addiction issues at the individual level, at least, for sure.
Thanks for the hope! I really need to stop drinking alcohol, it's ruining my life.
To hear that addictions can be a great teacher gives me a lot of hope for the future.
I’m with you in trying to get sober.
@@danny.96 how you doing with getting sober?
My friend, for me they key was to not give up. The massive research I've done, and the strategies and techniques I've tried , were mostly failures. But I continued looking for a way out. I found that it takes a combination of physical, emotional, social, and mental work to heal. Good luck. Have faith in God. Don't ask him to help YOU do it. Ask Him to DO it FOR you. We're powerless vs addiction. He's is not..
Over 5 years in recovery. I couldn’t agree more with the gentleman. I would encourage anyone who is struggling to try hiking and learning a musical instrument. Hiking has a very interesting effect on my thinking. I might be in a horrible mood when I arrive at the trailhead. But once I commit by just walking, and continuing to walk, I start to see the beauty around me. Next thing I know, even though I may be a little scared, my curiosity is up. What’s around this next corner? Next thing I know I’ve arrived at the beautiful waterfall or some mountain or geological feature that absolutely makes my day….screw addiction. Focus on recovery and taking care of yourself and learning to set boundaries with those who you struggle with. Be kind. Next thing you know you’ll have some time under your belt in recovery.
I concur... nature's bounty, sunshine, trees ❤
That’s my life now, hiking and camping. And I live in the most beautiful place in the mountains in bc Canada. I’ve found so many beautiful waterfalls. One hike me and my gf did was brutal, vertical and very difficult. But it was only about an hr and in that hr there were six incredible waterfalls with swimming holes at the bottom. It was so worth the struggle. 3/4 the way up we passed some people coming down. One woman was probably 70 years old. I felt like such a wimp lol. I’m 48 but a smoker so….anyways, that gave me motivation lol. I’m four years clean from 25 years of active addiction. I was an IV drug user too for the last five years of my addiction. It had been well over ten years since I went camping by the time I got clean. I absolutely can’t get enough of it. And we have three large dogs also so pretty safe from predators as there are many bears and cougars where I live.
❤ that’s great!
@@Chaos1976 So great to hear that! Oh, man, I'd love to do that hike you mentioned! I've seen pictures and hiking videos of the BC mountains. Breathtaking scenery! ...Good luck and continued success to you!
@@mikel917 thanks for sharing your story as well. You’re right, screw addiction, I wanna get out there and live. And it’s great. Yes, bc has some stunning scenery. That trail is in the Kootenays. If you ever want to go on an incredible hike go there and check out the Kokanee glacier trail. There’s videos of it on here. I had that glacier on the mountain as a view across Kootenay lake when I lived there. It’s worth traveling for that. Nelson bc is the town it’s near. There’s zip lines and a cave tour you can go on. It’s seven hrs and you have to repel 40 feet into it if you take that tour. There’s ainsworth hot springs that’s a hot spring inside of a cave. Just so many incredible things in that area
I am healing! Bit by bit!! My family decided to stay with me throughout my recovery!
Feeling pain in recovery? It shows your healing and moving forward. Feel it, not numb it.
Easy to say. It’s hard to overcome the triggers of dealing with pain. It takes a long time to heal. I stay sober for long periods but not long enough to make the definitive change. Also once you stop using, dopamine and serotonin are screwed up, and the depression is very heavy maybe more so than a person that is depressed but have no addiction. And this doesn’t take a couple months to resolve but longer and it’s difficult to get there. Most of the time ppl that don’t have addictions cannot truly understand and it’s normal
Yeah exactly easy to say! If you had really much physical pain it’s not easy not is psychological pain but you can at least do it! 😮
@@Wonks10000 I appreciate your words and the fact you took the time to reply to my comment. I’m in a bad place at moment..I know it’ll get better bc I don’t give up but I want to just feel ok…I’m very aware of my inner struggles but just can’t heal sometimes and sometimes I heal but it doesn’t last.
@@yoursugarismineno you’re just weak minded right now. I used to be like that. You just have to fester in it. You have to want it. I was hopeless. I just jumped off at 40 mg methadone from 105. I was a disgusting junky for 2/3 of my life. You have to do something. I became a barber. Felt proud of myself. Something I’ve never felt before. The school I learned how to talk to people sober. They all knew because I told them. I was fresh off of methadone. I couldn’t even talk normal for months. Something happened to my soul. There’s a recipe to it. And you need God. My eyes are different now. I see strength. Not a coward anymore. You can fkin do it. There’s this book I wish you could read. It’s called the rocking chair prophet. Man I wish I could bottle what happened to me and give it to you
@@yoursugarismineyou’re sitting stagnant. You NEED to do something everyday every second.
‘We have social conditions that breed trauma in every level’. Gabor nailed it, as usual!
He must've nailed it...all he does is dance around issues, but has he ever attempted to fix anything? NO!
Never never never forget the Spiritual aspect of recovery. Believing in a power greater than ourselves helps us keep our minds off of us and on God who created us with a purpose and part of that purpose is helping others . When we help & serve others we help ourselves. Our society seems to be becoming more Narcissistic than ever before and that is to our detriment.
I'm a Christian man and truly believe that my Faith in GOD helped me overcome a horrible addiction to prescribed pain medicine.
I just quit alcohol within the past 6 months. I realize what triggers my will to drink. I don't go to meetings, but set my goal is to adapt a secure attachment style. I went to a couple of meetings and didn't stand up to identify with 'being an alcoholic'. Forever? No way.
Great choice
I got thrown out of AA-Meeting yesterday, because the friend I was with, was fucked up... I wasn't fully sober myself, (weed) (speed) but I feel like shit now... 😪😢
Now I feel like I wan't to go drinking... I've been sokeri from alchol for 2.5 years...
In AA it's simply stated that if you can control your drinking you're not an alcoholic. AA is really for the drinkers who simply cannot stop once they start
Bravo! Thats the win!
I love this and I’m glad you spoke about 12 steps having some issues. I am 10 years sober and I’ve been in AA the whole time, it saved my life 100% but it’s not a stop shop, I’ve had to get outside help to deal with why I choose to use alcohol to numb… Gabor is 100% when he says that stopping drinking doesn’t really mean sober, I have struggled with using sugary foods and shopping to avoid difficult emotions. I’m still learning to connect with myself, my emotions and heal trauma. In AA I too often heard, it doesn’t matter why you used, what matters is you are an alcoholic/addict and you come to meetings. I always push back, well we didn’t get here by accident, getting to the root will likely ensure healing and that less likely chance of relapse… it is not easy, anyone reading this keep f*cling going!! It’s not easy but it’s worth it. ❤
Wow this is the greatest piece of information I have ever come across in my entire life,this doctor HAS IT FIGURED OUT
Identifying as helpless and an addict is wrong. Thanks for helping us Al. All types of additions.
Dear beautiful souls,
Sending love and light from my heart to yours 💖🙌🫂☯️🪽♾️🦋
Sending love 🙏✝️💟
Sending love and light from my heart to yours 😻🐾😺🪽🐾🦋🦁@@kittyk.klandasions7008
@@kittyk.klandasions7008
Dear beautiful soul,
Sending love and light from my heart to yours. My soulmate and spirit guide and love of my life have been my kitty cats 😻🐾🦁🪽🐾😺
And to you. Bouncing it back!
People are not looking inwards, lot find it painful. So they just carry on, with the addiction. They think it's the easier way. I've been clean for thirty years. I've been in extreme pain and suffered depression. I would rather feel, it than numb it.
It might be best to only speak for yourself. You can't know about anyone else, just you.
You do you, and let others find their own way--it might just look different than yours. ✌️
Well the percentage of people getting clean and sobber, is 1 percent get clean. All the rest die eventually. Relapses and over doses. You got to dig deep, in the subconscious. Know what your dealing with. Excepting you have ptsd. Lot people can't, reach the stuff, they suppressing. Body and nature, will not in danger you.
I'm a woman in sustained recovery from pharmacuticals. SMART recovery is helpful and talk therapy is essential for my maintenance.
Dr. Mate. What an incredibly beautiful man. What a great and supportive man
Everything Dr. Mate says makes so much sense. I wish more people in mainstream recovery and medical fields knew about his work. I think it would make a huge difference.
Awesome video Doug and Dr. Gabor! Recovery from addiction is a complex process and what works best can vary from person to person. These strategies can help you: 1. Acknowledge the problem, recognize and accept that you have an addiction. 2. Build a support system by surrounding yourself with a strong support network of family, friends, or support groups. 3. Modify your environment avoiding certain people, places, or situations associated with substance use. 4. Seek professional help.👋❤
Excellent advice
I totally agree that step one is terrifying defeating. I love all the other steps and AA traditions etc.
Sometimes, some trama is hidden in the subconscious. It's to dangerous to feel. Therapy cost a bomb to. But I'm clean, and feeling my spirit.
I’m living one day at a time. I have 2yrs clean and I struggle but god is good
Praying for you ⚘☮ 🙏🏼 never give up hope.
Keep going !! So proud of you 👍
I just wish the doctors and people who work in the field of addiction understood all this, im an addict for 37 years except for the odd year or 2 in recovery but the entire system is geared towards keeping people trapped in addiction, many people in the field of addiction don't understand these basic things, I've lent gabor mate books to doctors, but it's the entire system that is desperately in need of change. I find recovery in general to be a trap , they will only help you if you agree to go on methadone for a long time, so they give you another addiction before they consider giving you a detox or treatment!
What do you mean
There's nothing wrong with being on a medication for the rest of your life. Diabetics don't go without insulin, so why should you have to go without something you need so you can function in everyday life?
I was treated for cannabis addiction back in 2000-2010, gave it up for 10 years and now am prescribed it medicinally and it's really amazing for my condition.
Lol @ "treatment",
Thanks for a great talk! I want to add about AA that you’re not obliged to say that you’re an addict even it’s accustom. The only requirement is to want to stop drinking. The purpose is what Gabor first described. To step out of the denial. And I’d dare to claim that after u get some recovery u don’t really identify with it, it’s more like destigmatize it for the newcomers.
connection. but not just people, the nature of the contact is everythin
I liked his video on childhood trauma and recovery. We are all “in recovery.” Well, what are we actually “recovering?” We are recovering our authentic self, who we really, truly are.
I typically don't comment in this way, but after hearing you speak, I felt compelled to share my thoughts. As a member of AA, I find great joy in exploring and understanding myself. Trauma has been a challenging beast, and my struggle with alcoholism only emerged when I was sober. The sole requirement for belonging to AA is a sincere desire to quit drinking. No one is asked to be anything other than a lost soul seeking help and understanding from those who have walked a similar path. The bond formed when one alcoholic supports another is truly extraordinary.
Facts! Not sure why people think admitting it should make them feel guilty. Plus, you get to have a community of non drinkers and do non drinker activities
fasting for 30 days every year
as it teaches u discipline and patience
during the struggle from all pleasures and comforts
therefore once u master that
u can master anything
I sense you are right
I am going to attempt
Maybe just like 2 hours as a start
Healthy anger (not rage/agressive) / Agency (we’re in charge of our life, i take the advices but I’m making the decisions) / authenticity / awareness (mindful awareness, what arises in our mind) / curiosity towards oneself (let go of ideas that don’t serve us anymore) …
Exercise....art..hobbies...food ...connection. it's behaviour change ...you cannot sit and think your way to recovery. You must do..Doing therapy beats talk based and I work in addictions and have for 12 years.
A profound (profound=going to the depths) guide
I’m not there. You helped me, Dr. Mate.
The 12th step program in AA is all about shedding that fall self. If it’s done correctly because there is a wrong way of doing it. You will connect infinitely, which brings you back to your true self. You surrender. It’s not to say that you are fixed. But if you work those steps in all your affairs, moment to moment in your life, you will continue to create a momentum with those steps and ultimately you will maintain that infinite connection. Step 11 even suggest meditating regularly to maintain conscious contact with God. You are one with that energy source. How you get there is very unique to each individual. so it’s not just a 12 step program that can take you there but that is one way. AA is that. If you’re just nesting there and you are not doing the work then yes you will only identify with the idea that you are an addict. You will not get to truly know who you are. The idea is to learn the steps, create a momentum and keep that conscious contact with God. Ultimately, knowing truly who you are. And walking with that.
Exactly!🙏
It's no wonder recovery is so difficult. If someone is going down the path of recovery with the ostensible goal of recovering themselves, but the reason they've taken substances is because they don't like themselves, then the journey to recovering a person that they don't like or don't consider worthy of recovering seems to be an exercise in futility at best, or even a poor choice, a morally wrong choice at worst from the perspective of the people in recovery. The underlying issue in any self-neglect/self-harm paradigm seems to be "I am not worthy of better." So how do you convince someone that they have greater worth than they believe they do when they so ardently defend their position of unworthiness and, quite frankly, have significant evidence to support that belief that's been consistently reinforced throughout their life? It seems to me that attempting to win that battle against people who likely believe they are experts in their own respective lives, battling against the Dunning-Kruger effect, and people's inherent resistance to changing their minds once made up should be a central focus in their recovery.
The pursuit of recovery undoes the lack of self concept. And nobody pursues sobriety if they feel unworthy, you typically oscillate between worthiness and unworthiness..
@WilliamJohnson-cg6tz Gabor is not talking about recovery of the traumatized self you became, but the self you were or would have been if trauma had not happened to you in the first place. That is the self most of us don't know and could benefit from recovering.
I was surpressed in my anger as a child . Now I can not set boundaries.
I loved this!!! Thank You ❤
Another thing that is really sad is in this new world, doctors Overlook the root cause of a lot of people's issues. For instance adhd, and adults especially, can cause suicidal depression and a lot of other issues that make them not able to function properly. So they are refused to treatment especially if they are recovering addicts from another substance such as opiates. And panic attacks, a lot of if not almost all recovering addicts, like myself had panic disorder since I was nine. I'm 32 and started using opiates at like 26, been clean for a while now but the point is, I can't get the right help for those issues that the underlying reasons that I would use. But they had no problem prescribing them to children in school to get straight a's, as an adult it's not good because what are you going to do suffer from ADHD and panic attacks without being treated properly? Antidepressants and therapy can work to an extent but sometimes some people's brains are wired to an extent that there really is no logical reasoning or therapist that can just talk the ADHD out of you or the panic attacks. Genetic and it happens but you cannot live every day with panic attacks you can damage your heart you can do a lot of damage to yourself and cause more trauma. Like benzodiazepines yes there are people that abused them and yes they may need a long taper, but if they have them, then at least they know is a safety blanket there's something there to stop the panic attacks which might actually make them not want to take them as much. But there are so many humans on Earth you cannot say that every person is the same and will abused all the medications given to them. Sometimes those medications are not their drug of choice that they were addicted to but stop the triggers that made them use in the first place. It's very complex and because of all of the abusers of certain medications, it makes it hard for people like even myself to get treated properly. I mean I'm 32 years old and I can't even leave the house but yet I'm clean it's the craziest thing I don't crave opiates or anything anymore, but my ADHD is literally killing me and my panic attacks happen for no logical reasoning. Like I literally told my doctor I have no logical reasoning as to why these things happen they just happen it's like my heart just starts racing and never stops. I'll have to take something like an Ativan or something just to calm down but of course I get them from somebody that's prescribed them, I don't abuse them but if I didn't take them or have them for one of those moments or I could have a moment where I Collapse and hurt myself which has happened before. I've even fainted lying down from a panic attack
"... My ADHD is literally killing me and my panic attacks happen for no logical reasoning." I get exactly what you are saying. It's hell living (existing really) in a near-constant state of anxiety about what your brain will do next to sabotage everything.
Awesome! Thank you gentlemen.
I always enjoy Gabor Mate. That said, the AA comments sounds like a misunderstanding of AA. Maybe he's just talking about *meetings* and not the actual AA 12 Steps and the Big Book of AA. Meetings are *not* the program. The core literature specifically says that the liquor was but a symptom of underlying causes and conditions. Those causes and conditions would be the psychological and emotional twists caused by our past traumas, dysfunctional behavior, etc.
At one time AA was all there was to help people understand
they were hurting and needed help: and not an insane monster. There is so much more help now to regain health and face trauma. AA is still
needed because it’s free and almost always available. We lost contact with our connection to others when we lost our sense of self. AA is messy and full of difficult personalities. It is a good reintroduction to life as it is. The “rules” are that we are here to help each other. I primarily went to urban groups, most often to mixed gay/straight groups. I think rural groups may be more pushing Christianity and run by some alcoholic who wants to enforce AA as “doctrine” - even some of them get better.
I liked to give step talks from the point of view of a non-deist to remind people that we all have our own path to self-healing. And because I’m a contrarian.
I’ve been trying to heal from childhood trauma for almost 60 years. I’m 75. I thought I could have more of the life I wanted: love, children, work-if I took every opportunity and task presented. Life just doesn’t work that way. That’s one advantage of being an atheist-no great power did this to me. Everybody just gets what they get. I
I got lucky in many ways others weren’t and all I can do is be a human doing the best I can. That’s what I got sober to do.
Totally agree with you Dr.
Mate
As the saying goes: "The best thing about abstinence: Your emotions come back, the worst thing about abstinence: Your emotions come back"
Though I must admit: Isn't attending AA meetings on a daily basis in a way swapping out the addictive behaviour of drinking alcohol to the addictive behaviour of meeting with "alcoholics" talking about alcohol
I love this guy ❤
When the environment is pure and people R TAUGHT HOW TO BE PURE .,… kind healthy community …..
Most people don’t recover because it’s such a comprehensive healing and growth Learning Curve and so many people have no clue how to piece themselves back together and stop identifying with everything that is Not them.
The loss of identity is, in most cases, lost forever in multiple aspects.
So very very people succeed because so few people know how and don’t want to resolve their deepest most honest issues and face them to resolve it once and for good.
It’s only for the strong, honest, willing and able.
I think AA/NA goes two different ways it either works for you or it simply doesn't. I am an addict and AA/NA does not work for me. Working with a great outpatient treatment center and having a counselor i trust and connect with has helped me. I have battled addiction since i was 15 and i am now 34...i got sober from meth in 2017 and relapsed October of 2021 i dabbled that entire month of October on the weekends...i have been sober since October 31St 2021 and i no longer crave getting high and i have moved on in life. You can find your way...if AA/NA works for someone that is awesome. I do want to say that i struggled with identifying as an addict because i never used substances everyday i am a binge addict at my worst i was using meth 3 days a week..it was never everyday i have struggled with binges for a long time in a cycle of using then getting sober for a few months then binging..idk what to calll it..
People- places and things- change your environment, whether you have the ability to move away or simply eliminate people that have higher toxicity. It’s not easy, especially if you lack a support system. Redecorate, let go of sentiment if it reminds you of triggers, and change your number. Be selective about who you associate with and it’s true that sometimes you’re better off alone than with toxic companions and family
This man is so cool.
The key is learning coping methods. If you're doing recovery as a priority, the work associated with that which will cause you to learn coping methods. Have you seen Dr. KJ Foster's resilience training? It's terrific and speaks to this issue directly.
wow - powerful words and ideas
DR.MATE is very Compassionate + his book "hungry ghosts" is thorough proof of it! He has Rational View on a.a. because of his intelligence. But most of the people in a.a. drowning in alcohol have used it as a Life raft+ There's Nothing Wrong with that! Same thing with Religion. They Both bring heated debates for +Against. Why would something that Works for Someone get Another SO Upset? CANNABIS ADDICT for 46 yrs. It's Brought me Down Getting High, quite the Contradiction
AA has millions of recovered people and a much greater success rate of 5 percent
The gentleman who bashed it has only shown his own ignorance and closed mindedness
I don’t profess to say AA is the only avenue to recovery but after 38 wonderful years of sobriety it healed me and saved my life
It's probably closer to 8%. For everyone it has helped, there are far more it hasn't helped. There are 7 billion people on the planet. I am glad it worked for you, though. That's awesome!
Congratulations on 38 years! Question how do you see people in AA treat people who leave the community but remain sober?
@@matthewlenzmeier9859 I think you got the answer. This is the issue in AA, they treat people often as if they are dry-drunk then. So - it is a cult, of course it is - that is why it works! But very tough if you leave. This is because of fear.
So, you have 38 years of sobriety, but you have no problem violating the 11th tradition on the internet. Interesting. This type of behavior and other self-aggrandizing, narcissism by AA's with "long-term sobriety" makes it very difficult for me to attend meetings. And It seems to me that the "bleeding deacon" phenomenon has become worse with the rise of social media and the outbreak of Covid. I don't know why.
I really don't see the point of spend an hour, or more, a day with people who think it is their right and duty to lecture me (often rudely) and others about the "right" way to get sober, stay sober, and live - when they are obviously dissatisfied with themselves and the world they live in. Why should I engage in a ritualistic social activity that makes me feels worse than I did before I went there? No thanks.
@etherashe5164 The 11th tradition hasn't been broken here this person is sharing their experience of AA not advertising a meeting 😂
Also it quite clearly states in the book that AA was founded to help "chronic alcoholics" if your a heavy drinker or a problem drinker then you probably wouldn't get a lot out of regular AA meetings.
Lastly your reference to this person as a "Bleeding deacon" makes no sense whatsoever if AA didn't work for someone that's fine but they can't then write it off as useless, I've tried all manners of recovery none of them worked long term 😢 but AA did and still does work for me, that said I don't shout down and criticise anyone who chooses another path it's a personal preference
Powerful and informative conversation! 🫸🫷 5 years clean, sober and overcoming… recovering!
I started using heroin when i was 20 or so. And i thought this is the best thing in my life. When my mother was talking all days what a failure i am and all the worst, on heroin i just didn't care no more .. it almost didn't hurt me. I just feel a little sorry, that i didn't figured out, that i am working and i could leave and find my own place. I rather listened to humiliations all the time, than leave. .
Tried AA. But having to listen to the endless and morbid drunkalogues and announce myself as an alcoholic, giving my life over to a higher power… no wonder AA has a 5-8% “success” rate.
90 meetings in 90 days? How the hell does help anyone?
But most baffling is why AA is the default?
Went to my doctor years ago and told him I was concerned with my increasing drinking problem. His immediate response was that I go to AA.
People that get into legal problems due to alcohol the courts sentence them to AA attendance.
I hope i will get to witness the demise and final end of AA before i depart this mortal coil.
There are so many alternative roads to addiction recovery based on psychology, science and nutrition. Hmm, there you go: the “higher power” trifecta.
I’m not a fan of telling people “you can’t drink anything because you can’t stop” . It seems damaging to me to tell them they don’t have control, Bandler ( one of my idols ) says he takes them to the bar to show them they can have a drink and then stop. That makes much more sense to me.
I agree with you on AA and have had Drs recommend it to me , as well.. It's like you think I couldn't find this information on my own?! A program developed in the 30s.
@@HereIsmarcuswho is bandler?
@@lisao6928 Richard Bandler. CoFounder of NLP. Hypnotist. Influenced by milton erikson. Both amazing hypnotherapists
What's even more damaging is that you are literally AFFIRMING to yourself daily that you are addict. Affirmation s...words, are incredibly powerful. If you are telling yourself this on a daily basis ,you are telling your subconscious...this is all I am. Words are spells...spelling
One could also say they are a recovering alcoholic or addict, to add the word recovering!
NAC supplement with l-glutamine allows the body to make a lot of glutamate and that occupies the glutamate receptor making desires for drugs way less. These supplements also help your body make more glutathione which detoxes your body. This is by far the best addiction solution.
Sounds like a possible real solution - thank you for posting!
Suffering can be a teacher, not only that thing we want to get rid of
I am a Haida Woman in America... Nice art.
The hardest part of early recovery for me was having all these feeling all of a sudden and not understanding how to process them.
I had addiction issues, still have ‘minor’ ones, and Maté is very good, one of the best on the subject in my experience. But his first statement about living in a toxic culture is not borne out by the facts. People live longer than ever before, and far, far fewer people die young due to most of the population of young men had to go to war, had, childbirth, both for the mother and high infant mortality rates and of course diseases etc.
I agree to our culture being toxic, but the way he framed it was disingenuous. Also, people didn’t have access to ultra refined substances and/or distilled alcohol like we do today, which we have only been available to the masses, most to nobody, for the past 100-200 years, depending on the drug/alcohol.
I think the toxicity is from processed food, lack of exercise, lowering educational standards and therefore people not being the best they can be, and not even know it. They think drinking coke, eating pizza and not knowing civics to the highest degree one is capable, is normal and fine. We’re not encouraged, enough at least, to listen to our innate intuition we should know more, do more exercise, eat better etc.
This is due to us living in a democratic society, so the people choose the ‘leaders’, and so it follows that if the people doing the hiring are unhealthy and ill informed, which makes them more ignorant, therefore more easily manipulated, then it’s only logical that those they choose to ’lead’ are chosen by largely, who then reinforce the reasons why they were voted into office.
A majority aren’t going to vote for someone who tells them they need to do the work, on themselves and on the problems in society. They’re going to vote for the person who promises to ‘fix’ all the problems themselves. They hand over responsibility, and responsibility is power. That’s how civilizations descend into tyranny, in my opinion, based on what I know, seen and read.
But he’s far better than most on addiction issues at the individual level, at least, for sure.
At 7.00 the host says 'one of my biggest problems with it is everyone has to identify as an addict or an alcoholic'. Says he's never been but he has a problem with it. His problem is the fact he has obviously never been, it's comments like that that stops people getting though the door and is very dangerous. Newcomers are welcomed and asked to listen throughout the meeting and offered a chance to speak at the end openly or to an individual if they want to.
Work the steps correctly.. thoroughly and by the book.
I have conscious awareness of what my trauma did to me (bungie cord accident to my eye). Is my brain permanent damaged. You do give me hope that I can heal. I think a physical trauma is different than .mental abuse. I don't know why I even write this. It's not like I will ever be able to speak with you.
I went to email and ask for advice. Replayed yesterday. Just saying the team was looking over. No RESPONSE! Needing 1:1 holistic common sense therapist. For loved one. Searching. Our system is such a failure and am looking for common sense holistic approach. If anyone can advise?
Yes!! I did not like AA & I refused to identify with & say “I’m an addict” wtf?
And I met people 10, 20, or 30 years sober BUT if they miss 1 meeting they will relapse.
I said “oh no, this isn’t how I want to be”.
No judgement! I just refused to be this way, I want to recover & heal to the point where I’m not even triggered/ craving…& I have gotten to this point currently 🎉🎉
Good for you for seeing the trap! as if addiction wasn't bad enough, getting advice+labels are toxic. I'm trying to quit weed once again, the major problem is the herb has positive powers. good luck + Hang on tight to HOPE!
Right?! 😂
I don’t even really see weed as an issue. I don’t smoke though
Unless it is creating negative consequences and destroying your life then yes, ok time to think about quitting.
I want to quit caffeine but I just love the “boost” it gives me & I love high quality coffee so I’m not sure if I even want to make it happen 😆
"Our culture is getting incredibly stressful..." Too many stressors. In the US, we are manifesting addiction and mental health conditions for many because so many cannot see a path toward a fulfilling future. Trades have been removed from most public education systems and replaced with endless testing. Public education has become a marketplace for meaningless training, software, textbooks, testing, and more. We have communities that can't drink their own water, food deserts, heat deserts, and toxic air. The US has the most expensive healthcare system and the least healthy population in the industrialized world.
It all started in the 1960s Sexual Revolution, the rise of the EGO, individualism -> broken families -> trauma / abandonment trauma in children -> aided by an economic push towards 2 parents working to be able to meet costs of living -> failure of single parenthood -> drive towards the cities and loss of touch with the laws of nature - > social media -> demise of the concept of a higher power (God) -> demise of moral standards of behaviour...people increasingly seeking serenity through people places and things, through selfish, self seeking dishonest behaviours which only give temporary respite from facing one self...all the while the press, complicit, blaming this and that... sociatal breakdown. A few take responsibility, but time will tell whether this will be enough.
We do not discuss that somethings are made with addictive chemicals by design to create addiction in people. Tobacco does not cause cancer or addiction the filters on cigarettes do. Food has chemicals in them to make us crave them. The list goes on in our toxic societies.
Our culture has but one name: capitalism is our culture and lifestyle and the stressful human demands come from the pursuit and forceful alignment with this lifestyle. The paradox of convenience consist of acknowledging both aspects of capitalistic culture: the positives and the negatives, a culture of consumerism where condemning the negative aspects to oblivion also means to get rid of the positive productive aspects of it all, for capitalism is only one singular concept, and if you destroy the negative, you also destroy the positives. The paradox of capitalism and it has the potential of satisfying reasonable needs as well as the lowest instincts of human beings, is therefore at the root of the increase in stress. Because in nature there is a simplicity that big cities don't have, thus there is more peace, less resources and services, but more peace, a peace that all the goods and services from big cities can provide, fail to deliver anyways. And that is the paradox. The more complex a society is in terms of technology, industry, and artificitially adquired needs (example: training ai bots as a job), the more stressful it will be, and that is something good to know, for we humans can know where excatly the boundaries of innovation are, that balance both human health and technological ambition. It is a culture that primarily encourages us not to take care of our environment, IF THAT GOAL IS NOT IN ALIGNMENT WITH A PROFITABLE BUSINESS. The logic of business in itself is one conceptual, different thing, separated from the logic of human health and a healthy environment and human interaccion. Capitalism by definition aims at excesses in terms of production and spending, BY DEFINITION. So where we have a problem boundaries, just by is very nature. A car has a pedal to stop the car, but with capitalistic culture there is no pedal to slow it down, by its very design it cannot slow down and there I say it is not align with the human ability to keep up with it speed, that is why people's biological resilience to endure the never -ending pressures of the capitalistic machine fail sooner than later. There is a limit to a humans ability to endure stress, but there is no limit to the capitalistic machine to make extraordinary demands from us humans. I guess we are CONDEMN TO keep living this toxic lifestyle, this painful paradox, until we break down, until the body says enough.
And also most people who are addicts don’t want to work with the trauma they only want pills unfortunately! I work with addictions and a lot of the people are like that!
So much suffering and pain
But who is my true self?
It's not easy guys it's an everyday fight
Don’t lose your humor. Treate yourself right 😌
Agency your in charge, awareness,
have human beings not always lived in an environment that breeds trauma. Thomas hobbes said in the 17th century 'life is nasty, brutish and short'. The only difference today is life is longer.
Here is the deal, if consistent use of substance leads you to the dark path and you realize that and then go to the AA and try to deny that you are an addict, you are still in denial. A lot of people go through this initially and soon get humbled after slipping few times and coming back to AA.
I have abstinence , but never in my life have I known sobriety.
I’m an addict been to detox few times and rehab once but failed should I just keep going to rehab till it works for me. Broken ?
Keep trying. I sincerely hope it works for you the next time 🍀
I am 5 years sober and my journey has been relatively easy. The cure for addiction is suffering. You have to address your underlying issues.
How do you come out of this when you have trauma
I hate being sober.. trying to keep going
I feel you... same here😢
Was clean for 10 years, it's hard. Haven't cleaned up yet from this time around yet and trying to just remember your life gets worse using. Eventually it's not fun anymore. If we could all do just occasional use it would all be fine but once you get to withdrawal where you can't function day to day it becomes your full time job.
I'm quitting weed in the very near future, as soon as what I currently have runs out. I've already tapered my usage, and my medical card is about to expire, so that puts a relatively significant obstacle in the way if I tried to relapse. I know the hardest thing for me to deal with in the process is going to be boredom. But, I'm going to keep a note with myself that says in all caps "YOU WERE BORED SMOKING WEED IDIOT" that I will look at whenever things get hairy.
Won't last, u are screwed if Ur just white knucklling it. Soz, but it's fact
I like that dude
To say your name and then say that you are an addict is a "tough love" way humiliating and pillorying yourself.
Wrong
Disco inferno........learning through burning.
How do you come out of this when you have trauma.Addictions just adds to the reality that you are not whole
Monty Capuletti ,
Pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice! I would also invite to explore that even suffering is a projection or perception thing, it doesn't have be there or at the very least at the same intensity that we all suffer!
Clout and self importance are very addictive.
**** I can’t tell if Gabor is 1) Arrogant 2) Shy 3) Boring or 4) Dumb
If you want to speak in a meeting. You have to introduce yourself ' my name is Blabla and I.m an alcoholic or addict.
❤❤❤
Life gets worst after recovery ...
When my neighborhood turns from a silent community. Then leave for 25 years but would go say hi and them kids are worse then us. Doctors going to a therapy session. Tell us that speakers need to stop being paid.
NORMAL IS WHAT U KNOW. NORMAL AS KNOWN DOESNT EXIST.
❤
sasz and karl jaspers
Wow???? Still don’t understand AA AT ALL?!! one said he didn’t go to AA one said he went to a few..? Aa is full of people who are heavy drinkers and heavy users… going to AA meetings is not a treatment to recover?!! It’s a place to learn how to recover-( by the completing and practicing the 12 steps by recovering,( past tense), and helping alcoholics after you recover?!! Alcoholism starts when the bottle and the bag end…. They got that part right- but you can recover from addiction and alcoholism- I’m shocked that Yo Gabba Gabba doesn’t know this or speak on this…? Most people don’t in the medical community- there is a way out- these guys mean well but are speaking to the heavy drinker or situational or emotional User… not the real alcoholic or addict for which the medical model has never been able to truly help- stop saying AA does not work- please 🙏
It works if you work it
I'vve been sober since 1971. I still say I'm an alcoholic becaause it reminds me that ingesting even a small mount of alcohol will trigger a compulsive reaction that will cause me to keep drinking. I don't want to go back to that hideous world, so I don't drink. I haven't a significant urge to drink for many years. But my body retains the anomaly of the alcoholic. Also, meetings are great because they give me an opportunity to be helpful to newcomers, and I love that. And AA offers great community, as well.
IBOGA is the only way
It says GM has 20 yrs experience working with addicted and mentally ill people, but NO MENTION ANYWHERE he has a medical specialty. So my question is: can anybody claim to be a specialist without schooling?
He’s got credentials he is a board certified MD in Canuck Country, das Canada, he did 20 plus years as a GP and many years of Emergency Room Trauma Treatment. He’s the real deal not a Chiropractor that has one year of Physiology in a med school,
Chiropractors don’t do?? 7 years of med school and hospital rotations,
I’m just not a fan of Chiropractic Hocus Pocus,
What the heck kind of treatment is an “Adjustment” cracking my knuckles constantly as a kid only inflamed the joints,
@@cliffgoodman8958 wtf...I did not mention chiropractor. Where that come from?? I knew all that, however, he is not qualified as a psychotherapist or child expert, but wants ppl to think he is. Charlatans do this 🙁
Is not 20 years working DIRECTLY with people who have substance use issues not the best schooling one could have? Plus he is a certified medical doctor.
@@graceb3934 I have been working more than twenty yrs with animals, but I'm not a vet. Does that make me an expert?
NO! This guy has delusions of grandeur!
Most of his experience is real: working with hard-core addicts from the streets of Toronto. It has the highest concentration of addicts in North America. What he has learned through actual interaction, treatment and research is a lot better than what anybody can get through book learning (which he does regularly).
My true need is adult relationship with an equal woman and a family.
All this nonsense blocks it. Cutting through fog.
sasz