Gabor Maté: This One Question Will Change How You See Addiction
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- Опубликовано: 1 фев 2021
- Joe’s Free Book: joesfreebook.com/
See Dr. Gabor Maté Live at the 2022 Genius Network Annual Event! November 3rd-5th, 2022 geniusnetwork.com/event/
As Entrepreneurs, we sacrifice health for wealth or overlook trauma for the sake of “pushing forward.” High achievers are just as (if not more) susceptible to deteriorating mental and physical health. Genius Network® is about building Better Entrepreneurs and ultimately, Better Humans. Dr. Gabor Maté’s clinical experience has come to recognize the prevailing understanding of “normal” as false, neglecting the roles that trauma and stress, and the pressures of modern-day living, exert on our bodies and our minds. Maté will help you untangle the web of a toxic culture and guide you through a compassionate approach to health and healing.
00:29 : Dr. Gabor Maté Disclaimer
01:38 : What is #Addiction
07:08 : The Root of Joe's and Gabor's Addictions
11:37 : Joe's struggle with addiction and why he launched the platform
12:46 : Justice system and #addiction
14:48 : Opioid Crisis
19:36 : ADD is a response to trauma
25:54 : Message from Joe
26:14 : Interacting with the person who caused trauma
31:00 : Interacting with the perpetrator
35:44 : Trauma
38:06 : 2 Types of Trauma
Best Advice For Addiction: Dr. Gabor Maté on #Addiciton
Is addiction the biggest crisis we've ever faced? Can we do anything about it? In a candid conversation about addiction, Gabor Maté and Joe Polish define what addiction is and why it's actually a solution to pain.
Gabor Maté is a Hungarian-born Canadian physician with a background in family practice and a special interest in childhood development and trauma, and in their potential lifelong impacts on physical and mental health, including on ADHD, addictions and a wide range of other conditions.
Recorded live at the Genius Network Annual Event.
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"you cannot punish the pain out of people"..... 💯💯💯💯💥👋👋👋
Wow right
They punish the pain because our society blames the abused for the abuse. Serves their purpose.
"there is no room for cowards in this house" - do you see the connection? This is trauma passed on from the last generation.
…dead addicts punish themselves to coffin status
I am 80…have not lived in a rose garden…I am and never been addicted…but I celebrate I have passed it all…
I'm addicted to Gabor Mate. And amazed how similar my story is to Joe Polish. Molested at the same age. For the same amount of time. Not telling anyone, the silence, became a weapon I seemed to direct inwards at myself. I abused all the same drugs. I'm just learning at age 38 how to recover my authentic self. I went to therapy for 6 yrs after college... not 1 counselor ever mentioned reconnecting with my authentic self... or why I had to do it... or who my "authentic" self even is. But listening to Gabor, it's all instinct it seems. I know who I was. I know who I'm suppose to be. I know what I need to do. Thank you so much for this video.
Awesome! I hope your journey of knowing yourself continues...so inspiring
I am heartbroken... 😔💔 After listening to this I realise how I failed the person I loved... By getting angry, trying to motivate to get out of difficult situations I only pushed back to relapse... I should have known better as it is not the first time I listen to Gabor and his empathetic and powerful speeches... 💔
I hope things work out for the best for both of you
we all make mistakes
It good u can see and admit it to yourself i think if u r able to tell them that you were wrong if that is how you feel about it im an addict myself and I will say you cannot beat yourself up nobody makes a person feel anyway we allow them to there actions or words we allow it to make us feel sad happy mad and so on i think that it is dependent upon the individual being sensitive or strong minded to not sit on the pitty potty what im saying is don't beat yourself up you didn't know and you can apologize but that's all you can do don't baby them and or feel like you have to its kinda like tough love don't feel like you have to accept it once they know that they when u give them a inch they will take a mile im not saying that you should be mean Im only saying from personal experiences because if u go and say im sorry I was wrong and im here for u and stand by them and be with them and put yourself in a bad situation i know that for me when I get judged it does make me want to do it more escaping reality and I also know when my boyfriend says that he will not leave me he'll stand by me I think I got comfortable with knowing that that i did it comfortably i didn't think consequences were going to be an issue so it just allow me to keep going because at first he told me that he would leave me i think I just hid it better its a conflicting situation u can go and apologize and say im here for you but from afar if they can't get a hold of themselves to want to be better for themselves and you because they have to want it then just be there but from afar u should not be in a unhappy and unhealthy relationship because you feel bad about what you did
You couldn’t have known better. It’s ok
I need to hear feedback from people whose loved ones struggled with this disease, the addiction. To hear how they positioned themselves and managed to help. I definitely do not want to give up on my man just because his way is to destroy himself in times of hardship. How do I gain trust and make him feel safe to open up to me?
You must be willing to feel the pain of withdrawal if you wish to be free, truely free!!!
That same pain is what motivates us to do whatever we got to so we don't feel that pain
Gabor Mate is absolutely amazing, ive battled addiction for 15 plus years and I've loved hearing all of his videos he brilliant
Hope you are doing better now! Keep fighting, it does get easier! 9 years for me now 💪
So beautiful that he always honors the pain and trauma indigenous people & black people have gone through bc of the traumas the west has caused.
The west has caused...??? Hmmmm....think you may be a bit misguided here
Agreed. Amen.
Even more concerning is the amount of people dying as a result of prescribed pharmaceuticals.
FACTS! Goes to show that the powers that be don’t care about you and you have to be your own advocate!
Their truths are the stories of so many of us out there 🙏. How many of us have ever heard two people being so very honest about their own lives ?
Every body is so busy trying to sell the perfect images and lives to everyone, why ?
Love their raw honesty which is why I want to listen
authenticity and truth has their frequency
That's what I love, their authenticity ❤
Why is it that you have so few likes? Because your reply is seemingly so simple. It is simple, but my God, it is so complex simultaneously. Brilliant minds in agreement, not trying to be recognized out of a need to matter on the grand scale of life, but rather to help people who are hurting and are literally in danger of not surviving. I believe their authenticity. But that's not enough to describe it..
I really needed this today. Gave me a better perspective of my addictions, and helped me to not feel so ashamed of myself. Love this video!! ❤
Yes, never be ashamed of yourself. Only concentrate on your goodness and the bad will eventually fall away 🤔👍🥳
Míne is resentment. Family issues, and acting like you have to like them and I don't have my problems with them gets draining. I can't bring it up or I'm a dick.
wow so brave to sit on a stage in front of so many people and talking about such sensitive things... what an amazing talk thanks
Every person in the world needs to see this video, SO powerful and eye opening! 💯 Ty both for doing what you do to make the world a better place 🙏❤️
i turned to alcohol because of bullying. If you get told daily you a loser and worthless you become what people tell you.
I can relate. But you can change that. That’s your subconscious mind. Your conscious mind is extremely powerful. You just have to train it. 💕
Extremely powerful perspective to take on and reflect in our own lives. He’s so open and honest and creates a message that allows us to start to tackle our own addictions. Much respect
After all this time and after everything we know, why haven't people realised that our bodies are built to try and survive life. Yet the power of addictions have us believing that this risky lifestyle that could make us drop dead right now is something that we just have to do.
Your addiction was an attempt to solve a problem, wow great definition, thank, powerful insights, thank you 🙏
Amazing doctor the world needs everywhere!
How can we clone him?????!!!!!
To institutionalize drug addicts is the most painful act, I've ever experience, that I've ever known. I just so happened to see others like me congregated in jail, which made my heart break for them and for me. But because I got accepted into drug court (cause this community cared enough to give me a chance) because of that and working at a humane society, working with animals and a boss that allowed me to go to all the requirements for drug court. The combination of these things was like magic- that was the God in this whole situation. Because LOVE came together with people pouring into my healing, reparenting me into hope. There is a way to solve this, but it is the opposite of throwing someone into a room- isolated and scared. There is a better way, I swear it!!!!❤
Gabor Mate is absolutely brilliant! And I've never heard of Joe Polish & Genius Network but WOW, fanfuckingtastic! amazing.
Quite a few years ago there was a BBC lunchtime news feature on a trial to cure chemical addiction. It was reported to be +90% effective in the trials so far.
It worked by measuring the frequency of the drug and then passing electrical current of the same frequency through 2 electrodes the patient held in their hands.
This caused the body to quickly start to excrete the substance out through the skins pores.
The clinic room even had an en-suite shower to wash it all off.
I forgot all about it for years and now can find no mention of it on the net.
I wish I had recorded it but I had missed the very start of the feature and thought I’ll just record the evening news and get the whole thing. It wasn’t on the evening news however.
Are you suggesting that someone doesn't want people getting healthier?
how does it come that s many people are from canada? i was impressed by JBP but this man is more into my daily bread. he says nothing i did not know before but he speaks it out in public
Wow, had me in tears. Very powerful breakdown 👌🏼
Thank you so much for this!!!
Joe... Thank you for doing this.
Thank you. This is so validating.
Love this conversation that cuts to the core of human behavior💖
Thanks Joe, this is fascinating!
At the end you chose three very unsympathetic people to illustrate your answer. Well done, Dr. Mate!
This is incredible. Thank you for sharing ❤️🙏🏾
Trauma is not always what happened, it’s what didn’t happen as well.
If our parents were absent or emotionally unavailable and we didn’t get the nurturing we needed as babies/children that’s also trauma.
Gabor is a treasure to not only Canada but the world. I worked for the PHS while he was the staff physician and I learned so much from just being around him. Such a brilliant and inspiring human. SIDE NOTE: Why is Joe looking at his phone during this? wtf?
His interview questions
I noticed that too. And the rest of his body language. Agistated/stressed. Not present at all.
Thank YOU!!!!
Thanks a ton for the insights.
Thank you sir for your vulnerability!
Thank you!
When my son died, I took up smoking again because I wanted to want something that could be relieved…
Have faith sir.
I find taking long walks in narure is comforting..also try tapping.
Thanx, from dr Ramani's interview straight to this. Thank you. Love from Uganda
You and me both.. LOL
Hi, could you please tell me what interview video you watched first?
An outstanding talk. I've learnt so much more in this than nearly 4 years of counsellor training.
I'm battling addiction and life really getting to the point I'm about beat!
Fascinating, thank you for sharing your intellect.
So true and so powerful
BEST INTERVIEW EVER
@5:17
One of the most powerful and accurate things I've ever heard.
Gabor mate is very informative!!
Huge eye opener. One would think it feel it but not speak it and sadly not solve the root course
You are such a blessing to the world, Thank you for your experience and wisdom and for helping the world to know the truth .
Such genuine compassion ❤
Such an amazing person‼️Thank you Dr Mate, you help me understand myself ‼️😘💯🙏🏼‼️🫶🏻🙌🏼
Confusion . Lack of energy
Numbing
Information overload combined with disassociation both coming from the same technology makes for confusion and loneliness. It should come a no surprise that people are coming apart! We no longer have face-to-face conversations. We don't even talk on the phone! Instead, we text all the time furthering the disassociation and confusion.
awesome conversation really powerful
Distraction from the problem
This needs more views.
Thank you for posting this video!
BRILLIANT!!!!
Finally! Some people who know something about real life . Instead of the illusion and lie of the controller's. Also the warriors in Disclosure are in the Groove to , baby.
Minute 21!!! Exactly my case.
So much compassion. This explains a lot of things.
what he says at 37 minutess is right on.
Extraordinary doctor ! Let's listen to him ,seriously...
I'm sat here now. I can't quit my addiction. I'm really struggling
@@neilnoble1771 if you dont mind me asking, whats ur addiction?
@@neilnoble1771 Please don't beat yourself up. If I'm understanding Gabor, focusing on our addictions themselves will get us nowhere. They're just the symptoms of the real problems which are whatever our trauma is. Being stressed, anxious, and frustrated by the fact that we can't stop the symptom before addressing the cause will also get us nowhere.
We should be focusing on realizing exactly what our traumas we're, how they've impacted our lives, and how we can heal from them.
I believe Gabor is saying that any frustration about not being able to stop will continue unless we do the legwork on the trauma part first AND THEN the stopping part should, at least in theory, be easier.
I personally share your frustration though. These things are always much easier said than done. Lol Hope everything works out for you friend. Stay safe.
awesome
Gabor today : “ I’m addicted to streaming classical music.” Lol
Joe, Gabor this interview is incredibly potent, sad and also uplifting in as much that it helped me to see why the pain, why the ongoing abuse, why the CPTSD....thank you for peeling away another layer.
Insightful, thanks for sharing👍👍
I am very addicted to spending money that I can not afford to spend
, Addicted to loneliness to ,cigarettes
The "squares" behind them are driving me crazy!
We're in the Matrix Yo. 🤔
I'm a little confused about his statement about the parents not being there for a child that has been assaulted because the child did not tell them. It can, surely, be the case for some but it seemed a general statement.
wow
18:19 That's got to be one of the worst things I've ever heard and I'm a true crime addict. The pin in the little girls tongue is what I'm speaking of... What type of monster you would even think up such a thing. HORRIFYING 18:19
I’ve been told you have to forgive the person who abused you. And then been told that you don’t have to forgive them. Would love to know what Gabor Mate’ thinks on this. ♥️🇨🇦
Forgiveness is actually between you and you. When you forgive a person, you drop your perseveration about what you think they did, and stop seeing them through that lens. 'Release the hostage'. After that they may or may not be someone you have or want to have in your life.
Dr. Gabor Mate has given us much; however, there is more. Gurdjieff and Spinoza’s teaching give us keys how to awaken our mind and learn the power of understanding our trauma, addictions and face the problems that confronts us, then it’s possible to become free.
Is there a book you can refer us to?
Deep👍👌👏
Brilliant explanations but HOW do we heal trauma?
You start by joining a community. Watching videos/interviews like this is the starting point. We need others to help us awaken.
In just the last few months have I realized that all we do is an addiction. I been getting that "deer in the headlights look" in return. I get that though. :-)
Man up
@@ThvonS We all need to heal, including you.
@@ThvonS SHUT up.
Why would you call them the "Worst Addicts" instead of the most "Affected Addicts"?
How do you move away from the environment when the environment lives in you, when so many things about life and relationships trigger you and make you see the same environment around you even when it may not be there? How do you find your authentic self? How do you discover the drive to do so? How do you discover your fears and the reason for the resistance to change when you can barely feel yourself in your own skin? How do I get out of this dissociation when every form of meditation I’ve tried only makes me numb because the silence brings out the pain that I can’t cope with… sorry if these are addressed in the talk; I haven’t finished. What Gabor says always resonates with me, but I’m still not entirely sure how to do it. Maybe there’s just something I can’t compute because selective amnesia kicks in whenever something hits close to home and I suddenly can’t understand or remember what I’ve just heard.
"If not in presence, then in thought and care. And in having struggled, I share."
"When struggling be undaunted. With perseverance comes all manners of all possibilities."
"No mind is all-knowing, all-seeing. Every negative thought or perspective is short-sighted. They only exist in the mind, & not in the reality of change & beyond."
"Persist upon your pain, that it not be in vain. In uncovering meaning & value, comes comfort and elevation."
"My God is a faith & understanding that strength, guidance & appreciation, can be found from within oneself, & from outside oneself."
"No individual is all-knowing, all-capable. Accept your humanness (our reality); and garner assistance & new strength. Without fail, you will heal. And invariably, you'll share your renewal."
"What do I need now, is a self-care mantra, that answers your needs."
"I have a physical body, a mental body, an emotional body, and an external body. Attend to that which needs strengthening. Adding strength to one, adds strength to all."
"The quality and balance of our connections to all (food, environment, family, community, work, faith, etc.) determines our health (/spirit). Reflect on, and adjust to, what's diminished, or out of balance."
"Love's fulfillment.. it is gut & grace, coming into place."
~ Paul Jung
"Don't be afraid of your despair. Be gentle with yourself. Take your time with this journey. Let despair guide you to the self you need to birth, the meaning you need to make, the world you need to serve. Let it reward you with a resilient faith in life." ~ Miriam Greenspan
"Your sadness doesn’t make you less of a human being. In fact, it makes you more. More expansive. More connected. Painfully beautiful. Raw. Open. Completely alive." ~ Panache Desai
"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." ~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
"As long as we feel safely held in the hearts and minds of the people who love us, we will climb mountains and cross deserts and stay up all night to finish projects." ~ Bessel van der Kolk
"Repeatedly in the testimony of survivors there comes a moment when a sense of connection is restored by another person’s unaffected display of generosity. Something in herself that the victim believes to be irretrievably destroyed -- faith, decency, courage -- is reawakened by an example of common altruism. Mirrored in the actions of others, the survivor recognizes and reclaims a lost part of herself. At that moment, the survivor begins to rejoin the human commonality..." ~ Judith Lewis Herman
"When love awakens in your life, in the night of your heart, it is like the dawn breaking within you. Where before there was anonymity, now there is intimacy; where before there was fear, now there is courage; where before in your life there was awkwardness, now there is a rhythm of grace and gracefulness; where before you used to be jagged, now you are elegant and in rhythm with your self. When love awakens in your life, it is like a rebirth, a new beginning." ~ John O'Donohue
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu
"The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility." ~ Paulo Coelho
"So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you." ~ Paulo Coelho
@@pauljung3534 Thanks for this; truly. I’m currently not in the state to process what you’ve written, but I can tell it’s beautiful and I just wanted to thank you as soon as I could for all of the effort you put in to encourage me. Thank you so much… I am beginning to awaken to my despair and welcome it. It’s been a long struggle, but I’m starting to part the defensive waters and reach inside to find the seabed of my foundational traumas, and so sit there quietly underwater with my deepest self, listening to and absorbing what messages it has for me. It’s frightful… but there’s also a kind of… comforting calm, like going home to a familiar place you’ve never and yet always been. It’s strange… but it’s working. I think.
I will keep reading your comment periodically until I can resonate with what’s being said and truly understand it in the fibres of my intuition.
"Take faith, for example. For many people in our world, the opposite of faith is doubt. The goal, then, within this understanding, is to eliminate doubt. But faith and doubt aren't opposites. Doubt is often a sign that your faith has a pulse, that it's alive and well and exploring and searching. Faith and doubt aren't opposites, they are, it turns out, excellent dance partners." ~ Rob Bell
While I do agree with most of this out of experience but gotta be careful not to fall into that victim mentality. Yes my parents were not perfect and neither am I but I made the choices that I made. I am responsible!, not in a shameful way but an accountability way. I made the choice to pick up and get addicted but after I was addicted I didn't choose anything.
Good stuff was shared here, BUT be carefull about telling its good to be compassionate with your perpetrater. Mine used his Story of pain to emotionally take advantage of me to make me feel ok that he did all the things he did to me. The fault that they did MUST pointed at! They should take over responsibility for their wrong doings. Yeah they are hurt too yeah they might say sorry to you again and again but first you have compassion for yourself! SUPER IMPORTANT first step as a victumn: Adress the wrong. See it for what it was! Take yourself away from this person! Find help! Having compassion comes at the very very end of it all!
I meant having compassion for them.
Do as I say. I am able to trust you. It's not "do as I say you are able to trust me."
I try peyote back then an i did not became adicted!!
Insecurity self doubt
I found VERY RUDE of Joe to use his cell phone while the interview very unprofessional
Dr Gabor Maté is the goat
YUP!!!
Thing I don't like about Mate is he will never understand what it's like to be physically, emotionally or sexually abused by your own parent. Lol felt his mother's sadness = trauma. Yeah but trauma has degrees I guess?
@@judywinters8615 🙄
@@judywinters8615 I mean, he even admitted it in an interview.
@@judywinters8615 He succinctly stated in an interview that he was a workaholic obsessed with being widely known and successful until his wife threatened to leave him, which means he probably still is but has to keep it under wraps. The way I've seen him be so dismissive of audience members at lectures doesn't speak to "empathetic".
5:20
43:25
Wish this could help my family. 🦊🐕🐁
Gabor Mate is a GOD!
We are, each and everyone of us, a cell in the body of God. Realize it's internal, not out there and start to heal 👍
Not out there is right.@@russellmcgurn4217
I had a day like that once, I actually did all those drugs in one day.....I kicked a big ass whole in my friends door.
9:48
Meow
I'm dogaddict, and proudly so.
He's so funny ----
There are drug addicted ppl who had wonderful childhoods. It ISN'T always trauma.
HOW do you heal?
From what?
Therapy
If basically everyone has trauma, isn't that then just the human condition?
its important to keep in mind that the term criminal justice system is a broad brush stroke. Specifically, police have a specific role in that system and police have the responsibility of responding to and if necessary removal of persons threatening other people and/or property. They use professional discretion in carrying that out but counseling, mental health intervention is not the primary role or responsibility. The disciplines that fall under the term Criminal justice have specific roles. Public expectation of law enforcement gets muddled with the other disciplines and people decide police are not doing their job or require more training. Some aspects of Criminal justice system may need overhauled but the individual disciplines within need to examined based on each ones role in the overall picture.
Your way off topic. All drugs need to be decriminalized
2021?
👍
You can stop you habits but you can't stop addiction
why is he typing on his phone?
The powers that be want the masses traumatized
AMEN!!!
Same as suicide.. it’s not a choice.