Giving pieces of yourself away to the narc is a waste of time. It’s like putting money in a pocket with a hole in it. When you go to retrieve it it’s not there, just like the narc when you turn to them for support of any kind they’re not there. A huge disappointment!!!!!!!
Lee you have been a source of validation for me and a source of peace in moving forward with divorcing my husband who I truly believe is narcisstic. Cheating was the last straw although his mental and emotional abuse should have been enough! No contact since June 6th and never looking back! Thank you for this wisdom!
I wish I had found your channel 4 years ago. I am working my way out of a relationship with a guy I believe to have NPD. I've stayed WAY too long and let too many things go, I've devalued myself trying to love him and wait for him to "just get through this hard time" and then we'll be able to have a "normal" relationship. It's been awful, I'm a completely different person since this relationship started. Now I've got a restraining order, a couple court cases, I've been devalued and discarded and a lot of therapy to go through still but, I'm not sure I'll ever be the woman I was (and I loved myself back then). If anyone is reading this and you're wondering if you should leave or if you think you're changing in a bad way, take my advice and RUN! Leave as soon as you realize it because no one should take your sparkle away! Don't let anyone hurt you this way, it's so hard to get back.
They expect you to only focus on them and the relationship. Any focus you put into your self is treated as being as selfish. Exactly spot on with the battle between who you are and who they want you to be … this is the crazy making part
Thank You For Sharing U Are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT THE WORST MISTAKE I EVER MADE WAS BEING INTIMATE WITH THE NARCISSISTS I THOUGHT THAT THIS WAS MAKING US CLOSE AND AS SOON AS HE RECEIVED WHAT HE WANTED HE HAS DISCARDED ME ITS SO INCREDIBLY HURTFUL BEING USED AND THROWN AWAY
So many people are becoming narcissistic (not NPD sufferers) these days, schools might need to add some form of awareness training into the curriculum.
True! Also the court system... I've watched so many Court shows where I can spot a Narcissist & some walk away looking like champions ! Also know people close to me who have lost their kids to a narcissistic ex husband because they're such great actors but didn't really want the kids it was just about winning & hurting the ex
My narcissists would tell me “I give a little and get a lot”. At first I dismissed it as a foolish saying, at the end I realized that was his true outlook.
Definitely. In the very beginning, he put more effort but as soon as he thought he had me, all of that stopped. But he would literally yell at me about how he was doing everything and I never put him first. I would leave work early, drive an hour and a half to see him for 30 minutes before he went to work and then drive 1.5 hours back home. But I wasn't doing anything. Ok. 🙄🙄
I’ll never forget the day my ex narc called me selfish because I was trying to finish school and needed to step back from all the housework I did (I was the only person who cooked cleaned and handled the kids 95% of the time) I was so confused. I sacrificed so much during our time to only be left with nothing. Told me I was nothing and not living up to my potential. And you are right they truly withhold child support to hurt us. Can’t see they are hurting the children.
I have invested so much time, effort, energy and resources in my ex, just to get the bare minimum. I lost myself in that relationship. And what does my ex say ' None of that sh** meant nothing to me!'
Wow! - I've a covert narc mini-bio, but in short. "It was my choice to skip my grandmothers funeral to take care of her & her 3 kids." - wow, did she really say that; yep! & it was my fault for staying with her, my fault for believing her lies, my fault for her pathilogical cheating/lying & being a user/taker & it's my fault for not leaving. It might be my fault she had an affair & via triangulation had her ex BF threaten to kill me. P.S. Grandiose Narc/Psychotic BF of my covert narcissist GF threatens the life of an empathetic, narcissist victim with PTSD from the military; me. - Almost fireworks! - Note to self, Overt Manipulation doesn't work so well & pits me head to head. Covert manipulation works great on me apparently!! I wasn't afraid of him or getting shot or being knifed. I was afraid living in a Costa Rican prison for what I would do to him. Ooh, bad idea to to threaten to kill a PTSD guy, even if your a psychotic narcissist gangster wanna be.
Amen certainly true in my friend relationship , and the older he gets the worse it’s getting. He seems like he only does things to benefit himself. Selfish.
Lee yup that's it u gotta understand the fact that if u keep fighting for a normal relationship with them it will drive u crazy so except how they truly are an know that everything thing that was done to you was intentional and calculated an no kind of love lives in that soul an move on fast an stop taking it as u failed in a relationship we didn't we just failed at protecting ourselves from these kinds of people now that we didn't do a good job on😂
I lived with a roommate where things were always 'one up, one down' and I was definitely the 'one down.' I was kicked out by the other person and told as I was leaving, "If you want to be in contact with me, you will have to call me. I'm not calling you." I tried to follow that for a few calls, about 6 to 7. But felt very upset when the only good phone calls we had were about her. The rest were pretty cold. That was the end of the relationship for me. I was done. After that, the smear campaign - she against me - started. I have never looked back.
Lee u are just and amazing person and I really appreciate all that u are do for us people that is going through this thing, and I’m so glad 😀 that u are giving us the real coming from a narcissist mind set, this is really helping me to power up and staying going focus 🧘♀️ on moving forward and not going back to that thing, I hope 🤞 and pray 🙏 I never run 🏃♀️ into another one of these things. Thank u 🙏 again Lee for all u do, God bless u to keep doing what u do.🙏❤️🙏❤️
Mine will literally tell me we are not equals because hes a man and I'm a woman. We had a child together, hes almost 5 months old. He wanted me to quit my job to be a stay at home mom and then set up a dropshipping store and run that from home for him. And he constantly throws in my face that hes the bread winner and the money he spends. And mind you I was a single mother to a 4 year old boy when we met been working for 13 years at the same job since I was almost 15. So anyway he will complain that hes paying the bills and I'm doing nothing so I say well I can get a job and he basically says if I do itll be a waste because incany make the amount of money he makes and I may as well be single. He literally threatens to leave us every other day and make me a single mother again. It's so sickening because I've bent over backwards for him. Followed him, because he says hes the leader and I should follow him. Granted hes very generous monetarily by caring for his family but normal men so it all the time without degrading their partner. My male cousin is in the military and his wife is a stay at home mom and he doesnt act like shes taking advantage of him its the life he signed up for. Just hard knowing I cant get him to understand how he affects my emotions. He says hes to logical to run on emotions and that I should control how I feel. He will tell me I need to learn my place with him but how can you know your secure with a man that tells you how disposable and easily replaceable you are.
Like he said put less into the relationship and more into yourself fax self-love leads to happiness and healthiness mind body Spirit and soul try it you might like it find your conference 🆗⚖️😷🙏🏼
Big waste of time, way too many sacrifices that would never be acknowledged or justified, just a bunch of bull crap, its a pity for the people who have no idea that this is even a thing, they spend years wondering what the heck is going on
Very good topic Iam glad to know this it is very important information for me that’s why I couldn’t continue my life with someone if cannot be equal or on the same page it will not work I see that today no matter how much I tried to get him to see what I what I saw in life that could have made him better person but he chose different so it was meant for me to move on and let him live his life the way he wanted it to be I thank god Iam out of that situation wish him well and who ever that wants to except to live the rest of their lives with someone like that I love gif he will never leave nor foresake me I don’t need to be involve with someone that don’t have love within them ✌️❤️
My dad is on the spectrum i think. Its cery difficult to deal with as i'm scared he Will leave me again when focusing on something better. Thank you for sharing
My narc soon to be ex husband swears he gets nothing from me though. It blows my mind how they will expect the world, an arm, a leg, a kidney from you …they expect your whole soul and you give it until you have nothing left and they will still think they do everything because they have the job. He will tell me how I’m the one that expects so much from him when really the only thing he has ever had to do is go to work. He needs something ? Me. He’s hungry? Me. He needs paperwork filled out? Me. He needs research done? Me. He needs his family member picked up? Me. Like literally everything under the sun is my expected task because I don’t work, so how on earth does his mind really think that the roles are reversed???
When he forced me to sit down and talk about what I have sacrificed for him in a relationship... He shot everything I brought up down. I really thought that was weird 😭
My ex N wanted me to give up on my studies, in case we married to stop working, to learn to bake, to please him whenever he wanted or felt like (sexually), to listen to his grandiose projects and support him (if I didn't, I was acting off script)... Yeah, you have to lose yourself in order to love them, but it will never be enough. It's better to leave.
Is trauma bond a real thing? I thought that I loved this person, but now I hear of trauma bond. Is trauma bond the same as love? I'm confused. But yes Lee, it's a give and give situation while you get little to nothing back. Sad.
With everything you say I’m curious how you make things work with you’re wife in a healthy respectful safe honest way . Please don’t misunderstand me or take offence I would love to learn how you’ve managed it as it’s rare .
Do you have so many projects at onetime going on? He drove me insane. He physically drained me. He was doing so many things and broke me and I literally lost myself.
That happened to me, This is so on point! He said he married me to MOLD ME, he told me and my matron of honor the day before we married RED FLAG HELLO AND NOW LOOK AT ME! It okay I survived and I will heal and move on.
Giving pieces of yourself away to the narc is a waste of time. It’s like putting money in a pocket with a hole in it. When you go to retrieve it it’s not there, just like the narc when you turn to them for support of any kind they’re not there. A huge disappointment!!!!!!!
💯
Lee you have been a source of validation for me and a source of peace in moving forward with divorcing my husband who I truly believe is narcisstic. Cheating was the last straw although his mental and emotional abuse should have been enough! No contact since June 6th and never looking back! Thank you for this wisdom!
Tiffany Barnes that must be really difficult for you. I hope you find strength and comfort as you continue on your path of mental healness.
stay strong
Sorry that happened to you. God bless you
I tried focusing more on myself but then would get ranted at for not giving him enough attention. It was always a lose lose situation.
Yes, because that’s selfish in their eyes …
🎯
Wow
I wish I had found your channel 4 years ago. I am working my way out of a relationship with a guy I believe to have NPD. I've stayed WAY too long and let too many things go, I've devalued myself trying to love him and wait for him to "just get through this hard time" and then we'll be able to have a "normal" relationship. It's been awful, I'm a completely different person since this relationship started. Now I've got a restraining order, a couple court cases, I've been devalued and discarded and a lot of therapy to go through still but, I'm not sure I'll ever be the woman I was (and I loved myself back then). If anyone is reading this and you're wondering if you should leave or if you think you're changing in a bad way, take my advice and RUN! Leave as soon as you realize it because no one should take your sparkle away! Don't let anyone hurt you this way, it's so hard to get back.
It’s very hard to get back. I can relate to what your saying.
They expect you to only focus on them and the relationship. Any focus you put into your self is treated as being as selfish. Exactly spot on with the battle between who you are and who they want you to be … this is the crazy making part
🎯
I've spent an embarrassing amount of years trying to get back "what we had"..
😢
Your imagination of what you thought it was.
It’s sad to say, but you had nothing…zero.
Unequal is an understatement. Lol
Yes 😆
Thank You For Sharing U Are
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT THE WORST
MISTAKE I EVER MADE WAS BEING
INTIMATE WITH THE NARCISSISTS I THOUGHT THAT THIS WAS MAKING
US CLOSE AND AS SOON AS HE RECEIVED WHAT HE WANTED HE HAS DISCARDED ME
ITS SO INCREDIBLY HURTFUL BEING USED AND THROWN AWAY
😔
Yep 💔
I understand just remember that God got u first so step out on faith 🙏😷 for sure
@@antoinqueen8261 Amen
So many people are becoming narcissistic (not NPD sufferers) these days, schools might need to add some form of awareness training into the curriculum.
This is true I believe so,
True! Also the court system... I've watched so many Court shows where I can spot a Narcissist & some walk away looking like champions ! Also know people close to me who have lost their kids to a narcissistic ex husband because they're such great actors but didn't really want the kids it was just about winning & hurting the ex
They really do….maybe a basic psychology class. It’s a complete culture of people. They are all in the work environment too.
You can’t be who you are who they want you to be… who they want you to be is ever changing as well so you never actually know
exactly
My narcissists would tell me “I give a little and get a lot”. At first I dismissed it as a foolish saying, at the end I realized that was his true outlook.
🎯🎯
Preach Brother Lee!
Definitely. In the very beginning, he put more effort but as soon as he thought he had me, all of that stopped. But he would literally yell at me about how he was doing everything and I never put him first. I would leave work early, drive an hour and a half to see him for 30 minutes before he went to work and then drive 1.5 hours back home. But I wasn't doing anything. Ok. 🙄🙄
This is so brave of you to admit. Thanks Lee!
I try
Ugh it’s a seesaw that always keeps you down on the ground and them lifted up
Oh but when you jump off and it comes crashing down!!!
💯
I’ll never forget the day my ex narc called me selfish because I was trying to finish school and needed to step back from all the housework I did (I was the only person who cooked cleaned and handled the kids 95% of the time) I was so confused. I sacrificed so much during our time to only be left with nothing. Told me I was nothing and not living up to my potential. And you are right they truly withhold child support to hurt us. Can’t see they are hurting the children.
I have invested so much time, effort, energy and resources in my ex, just to get the bare minimum. I lost myself in that relationship. And what does my ex say ' None of that sh** meant nothing to me!'
Wow! - I've a covert narc mini-bio, but in short. "It was my choice to skip my grandmothers funeral to take care of her & her 3 kids." - wow, did she really say that; yep! & it was my fault for staying with her, my fault for believing her lies, my fault for her pathilogical cheating/lying & being a user/taker & it's my fault for not leaving.
It might be my fault she had an affair & via triangulation had her ex BF threaten to kill me.
P.S. Grandiose Narc/Psychotic BF of my covert narcissist GF threatens the life of an empathetic, narcissist victim with PTSD from the military; me. - Almost fireworks! - Note to self, Overt Manipulation doesn't work so well & pits me head to head. Covert manipulation works great on me apparently!!
I wasn't afraid of him or getting shot or being knifed. I was afraid living in a Costa Rican prison for what I would do to him. Ooh, bad idea to to threaten to kill a PTSD guy, even if your a psychotic narcissist gangster wanna be.
Knowing this, how do you feel about your wife never ever getting equal from you guys marriage or relationship?
You are right in Vegas The House always wins
Always wins!
Amen certainly true in my friend relationship , and the older he gets the worse it’s getting. He seems like he only does things to benefit himself. Selfish.
Lee yup that's it u gotta understand the fact that if u keep fighting for a normal relationship with them it will drive u crazy so except how they truly are an know that everything thing that was done to you was intentional and calculated an no kind of love lives in that soul an move on fast an stop taking it as u failed in a relationship we didn't we just failed at protecting ourselves from these kinds of people now that we didn't do a good job on😂
I lived with a roommate where things were always 'one up, one down' and I was definitely the 'one down.' I was kicked out by the other person and told as I was leaving, "If you want to be in contact with me, you will have to call me. I'm not calling you." I tried to follow that for a few calls, about 6 to 7. But felt very upset when the only good phone calls we had were about her. The rest were pretty cold. That was the end of the relationship for me. I was done. After that, the smear campaign - she against me - started. I have never looked back.
Lee u are just and amazing person and I really appreciate all that u are do for us people that is going through this thing, and I’m so glad 😀 that u are giving us the real coming from a narcissist mind set, this is really helping me to power up and staying going focus 🧘♀️ on moving forward and not going back to that thing, I hope 🤞 and pray 🙏 I never run 🏃♀️ into another one of these things. Thank u 🙏 again Lee for all u do, God bless u to keep doing what u do.🙏❤️🙏❤️
Mine will literally tell me we are not equals because hes a man and I'm a woman. We had a child together, hes almost 5 months old. He wanted me to quit my job to be a stay at home mom and then set up a dropshipping store and run that from home for him. And he constantly throws in my face that hes the bread winner and the money he spends. And mind you I was a single mother to a 4 year old boy when we met been working for 13 years at the same job since I was almost 15. So anyway he will complain that hes paying the bills and I'm doing nothing so I say well I can get a job and he basically says if I do itll be a waste because incany make the amount of money he makes and I may as well be single. He literally threatens to leave us every other day and make me a single mother again. It's so sickening because I've bent over backwards for him. Followed him, because he says hes the leader and I should follow him. Granted hes very generous monetarily by caring for his family but normal men so it all the time without degrading their partner. My male cousin is in the military and his wife is a stay at home mom and he doesnt act like shes taking advantage of him its the life he signed up for. Just hard knowing I cant get him to understand how he affects my emotions. He says hes to logical to run on emotions and that I should control how I feel. He will tell me I need to learn my place with him but how can you know your secure with a man that tells you how disposable and easily replaceable you are.
Like he said put less into the relationship and more into yourself fax self-love leads to happiness and healthiness mind body Spirit and soul try it you might like it find your conference 🆗⚖️😷🙏🏼
💪🏼👏
That’s exactly what he did 😳😢😢😢💔
😢
Big waste of time, way too many sacrifices that would never be acknowledged or justified, just a bunch of bull crap, its a pity for the people who have no idea that this is even a thing, they spend years wondering what the heck is going on
🎯
@Tatiana
One word “Amen”
Very good topic Iam glad to know this it is very important information for me that’s why I couldn’t continue my life with someone if cannot be equal or on the same page it will not work I see that today no matter how much I tried to get him to see what I what I saw in life that could have made him better person but he chose different so it was meant for me to move on and let him live his life the way he wanted it to be I thank god Iam out of that situation wish him well and who ever that wants to except to live the rest of their lives with someone like that I love gif he will never leave nor foresake me I don’t need to be involve with someone that don’t have love within them ✌️❤️
stay strong
My dad is on the spectrum i think. Its cery difficult to deal with as i'm scared he Will leave me again when focusing on something better. Thank you for sharing
Sorry to hear that
My narc soon to be ex husband swears he gets nothing from me though. It blows my mind how they will expect the world, an arm, a leg, a kidney from you …they expect your whole soul and you give it until you have nothing left and they will still think they do everything because they have the job. He will tell me how I’m the one that expects so much from him when really the only thing he has ever had to do is go to work. He needs something ? Me. He’s hungry? Me. He needs paperwork filled out? Me. He needs research done? Me. He needs his family member picked up? Me. Like literally everything under the sun is my expected task because I don’t work, so how on earth does his mind really think that the roles are reversed???
Exactly what I'm going through right now, he downplays my role even though I work and earn far less than him.
You are so right
you are so right!!
i try
When he forced me to sit down and talk about what I have sacrificed for him in a relationship... He shot everything I brought up down. I really thought that was weird 😭
😩😩
This is so sad to acknowledge. 😢
🎯
This was a good one! Does you have a post about how one would don a "emotional condom" or "emotional armor" to protect from energy and verbal attacks?
My ex N wanted me to give up on my studies, in case we married to stop working, to learn to bake, to please him whenever he wanted or felt like (sexually), to listen to his grandiose projects and support him (if I didn't, I was acting off script)... Yeah, you have to lose yourself in order to love them, but it will never be enough. It's better to leave.
Is trauma bond a real thing? I thought that I loved this person, but now I hear of trauma bond. Is trauma bond the same as love? I'm confused. But yes Lee, it's a give and give situation while you get little to nothing back. Sad.
it is a real thing
Trauma bond is similar to Stockholm syndrome. You bond with the person who means you harm so noz that is not love.
I LOVE ❤️💕💕💕💕💕💕 YOUR SKITS CAN YOU PLEASE DO MORE👑👑👑👑👑
I do too! 🥰🥰🥰🥰
i have hundreds on tiktok. the skits are just the ones i post from tiktok
@@MentalHealnessI’ll have to go ahead and download the app then. Thanks ☺️
You are right. Do not do anything with the nar c issu d t that you as re not com
What happens when both people
Are narcs? 😕
Can you please explain why would a narc withhold child support. When the other parent just wants whats best for the child.
to punish you
@@MentalHealness it’s so hard to comprehend that he does NOT SEE that he’s HURTING the child
This is interesting
appreciate it
With everything you say I’m curious how you make things work with you’re wife in a healthy respectful safe honest way . Please don’t misunderstand me or take offence I would love to learn how you’ve managed it as it’s rare .
True
Hi lovely you are so right i was allways giving and he was take take he only wud give when he know i was gonna fk him off
Do you have so many projects at onetime going on? He drove me insane. He physically drained me. He was doing so many things and broke me and I literally lost myself.
That happened to me, This is so on point! He said he married me to MOLD ME, he told me and my matron of honor the day before we married RED FLAG HELLO AND NOW LOOK AT ME! It okay I survived and I will heal and move on.
This!!!!!
🎯
****ANSWER
HOW DOES YOUR NARC WAYS AFFECT YOU AND YOUR TWIN?????
Did you just smell ya fingers??
🧐
You have helped me so much you allways make mi smile pitty your married lol lol sud not ov said that