We built them already when they were forming in our wombs-that’s more than enough building for a lifetime (literally), and now they need to build for us.
Thus, their projection of 'strength' onto black women - "STRONG black woman". My question always is, "If I gotta be the "strong" one, then... What TF is the **man** ???"
Even at university, if a man is needs help with projects and stuff i actively avoid helping him because he will pretend he did it on his own and resent your superior knowledge/skill. If you're a nice woman, men will target you to squeeze every benefit out of you.
@@fisf.2148 ump! Sis, I really do understand your point and frustration. I really do. But respectfully, please let me offer up another suggestive thought that I hope doesn’t trigger you in any negative way. Unless you are a mind reader you don’t know of the other true intentions. We can be weary of the red flags but at the end of the day, especially when in such the position you are in, which is to be of the utmost help to others to succeed who cares if they take the glory and run. Are you not getting paid to assist already? Something to consider is that you may be doing more of a disservice than you are aware. Remember, we are all spirit living the human experience. We are all “gatekeepers” to some degree.” You are playing a very serious spiritual game at this point withholding valuable information that can help another prosperity and the more you help others to achieve the more love and light is giving to you, but you cannot see this if and when you’re not open to it due to your belief system of thinking. You have been placed in the position to help others succeed in life and it’s not your place to judge who gets that help. Haven’t we experienced such judgement enough? Depending on your beliefs system and faith will you connect with my suggestive thoughts. But know that karma is real we receive what we give in life. You may have need for assistance and the gate keeper looks at you and decides that because you look like so and so they will not give you the key 🔑 to your needs. How does karma affect us all. Just food for thought 💭 from another perspective. Much love ❤️ and light 💡
I wish i heard this message 12 years ago All the girls who went through this and are left ripped off and drained, I'm sending you a hug. We've learnt this lesson the hard way
Don't be supportive of a man in school of you are 30 plus! If you support him, do it verbally, from a distance! Men will get that degree amd marry their dream girl. They will not care about what assignment you did for them, how you helped them with this or that, they may not even invite you to their graduation ! Im telling yall from experience...get the established man, not the in progress man!!!
😂 the last guy I talked to was much younger, so I gave him some grace i dropped dude off at work and he ran off for 2 days with a random woman who ended up scamming him. Lil buddy thought he was gonna double back, NO SIR go have fun with shorty.
🎉if 👸 ur ring 💍 finger is naked ur body shouldn't be. Princess treatment consistently or NO treatment! 24/7/365 no exceptions. helps weed out the losers fast.
I'm 21 and I wanted to 'settle' just coz he provides sweet words and love. I thought if I build him I'll harvest the returns😂I've written down everything we've talked about that made me realize I'm not his dream girl. I'm only the person he managed to get at this point of his life😑I'm now trying to leave.
And we as women have to accept when we have made these mistakes take accountability for it just don't do it again im not nice I'm kind there is a difference.
I laugh a lot too. As I encounter the worse situations in life I always choose to focus on the positive and laugh myself to happiness....many might think it's a sign of crazy but it works for me - Proverbs 31:25 says, "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future"
I had a friend who won't leave a man that she had built for 10+ years. They eventually broke up and to this day he still is struggling and couch hopping
My mom was a builder. Her bf cheated and didn’t have a job for five years. She once got token to court for HIS back child support. She always chose him and 20 years later he still doesn’t have a job still begging to live with her. She is a lot more bitter and far less attractive.
I sooooo needed all this advice 8 years ago. Thank you for doing this series that way I can give the advice to the women around me especially my daughter one day. ❤
I let a man live for free with me for years because i felt sorry for him ! And he had the cheek to ask to borrow money as well on a weekly basis don’t do it 😅
OK, I truly don't want to ruffle anyone's feathers because it seems like a lot of women have been hurt, myself included, but not by being involved with a fixer upper or a potential. I'm just sharing a different perspective. When it comes to men, we have to remember that they are just as human as we women are. We are being traditionally taught that men are supposed to be strong but then turn around and desire and expect them to express and understand our empathy and need for it. Many men are reared not to cry or show their true pain, and this has caused a major breakdown in communication and cognitive distortion in relationship. Many men desire to be heard and to work with someone they can grow and build with. When we love someone in the most mature way then we understand and accept with responsibility and accountability for self first that we are taking a chance on allowing the other into our life just as they are doing the same. Really, at the end of the day, we can't help who our heart goes out to love, but we do have control over how we choose to love them. There's dog ass women and men out here. No one really never ever knows anyone 100%. Take accountability and responsibility for your own thoughts, which create your feelings/emotions, which create your actions/reactions, which will always give you your life results. Keep in mind that when you give expecting a return on your investment, this is a "Whats love got to do with it" kind of thing. Real and true love wants love to be happy with or without them. But we're taught only a darn fool thinks like that. If you actually read all of my comments, I hope it doesn't piss you off but instead may be a different perspective ❤
I love when you say we have control over how we choose to love our partners....I get what you're saying no woman has an issue growing and building with a man but the issue is the man...because it's never guaranteed that he'll return the same energy and it's too big of a risk if you ask me that I'd not advise anyone to take....my point is that most of these lazy men want you to do all the work as they enjoy the ride and reap all the benefits and their value increases while they diminish ours....my point is,,, if you choose to support him let it be mutual and let him be somewhere already not at the starting line...hell no!!! The only man you should wholeheartedly build should be your son..
@@mskabue your response is appreciated. But to add, we as parents, especially mothers, must be careful about how we rear our children because we can create the lazy mindset monster ourselves. We can over compensate and then let them loose in society having a mindset that others are supposed to be this way, or do certain things for them and give them something just because the other may love them taking another for granted. I see it happening many parents rear their children up more so for themselves and not for society. And then wonder why themselves or their child can’t have, sustain or maintain relationship. I agree, relationships should be 50/50. We should know at least before jumping into serious relationship if rather or not we have a house husband or wife. Lastly, many of us allow society, desperation, loneliness, anxiety, anger, and fear and depression to pick our partners. We often ignore the red flags 🚩. Thanks for sharing your message. ❤️ & 💡
@@CreativeSoulsVibe yeah it's very important to raise your kids into self-sufficient adults and a major part of this is empowering them so that they don't depend on others....whether boys or girls...and also having healthy relationships with them so that they can be emotionally mature...and healthy individuals all round even in relationships not bitter, condescending, traumatized etc....its time we broke these generational curses and traumas and also inadequacies....but also as adults it reaches a time where you gotta do the healing work yourself but the issue is that most men don't do the work
If they have the best life good i congratulate I have made mistakes i did that with my kids daddy and trust me i will never in life help build a man no know if i want to buy u something i will but im not paying your bills i refuse to do i don't live life anymore and trust me i learned from it the hard way
Like with may of your other videos: interesting topic, good clips. But the part at the end when you give your opinion is unnecessary long. It gets repetitive and meandering. When you state your opinion regarding the topic of the video try to keep it short and to the point. Better save the different thoughts for new video ideas.
Oh my gosh, the criticism is SooooooO unnecessary, it's not constructive at all. As she stated at the beginning of the video, she would give her personal take on it. If its not to your liking fast forward and keep it moving. I enjoy hearing her personal take on these topics, almost like having a friend give their opinion while im working ir doing house chores.....#keepdoingyou ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@@FELIZEVEE YT algorythm notizes If people watch till the end. Keeping a viewer's attention is important if you wish to expand your channel. I made the effort to comment in a rational, clear and polite way, without attacking or demeaning language. How was it not constructive? I can state my observations, just as you can.
@FELIZEVEE she might have a short attention span and instead of looking for that type of content she is here trying to shorten Ms. Kabue's. That's not how it works 😅
But why are achievements masculine and beauty feminine ? Have y'all asked yourself that like why being successful is masculine this stuff is just tayaring much sometimes who came up with this rules ?
Yessss yess you have a great question here....yeah why should we play safe when it comes to our hard earned achievements...but I guess it's how we've been conditioned by this patriarchal society...we need to have this conversation on a serious note
@@mskabue exactly mi these days I get tayad of this masculine and feminine energy shenanigans. All these are just socialisation by patriarchy and am tayad if being successful is masculine I will embrace it
@@nemotheo1629 but I also get it there are women who really rub in their achievements but I think this is annoying whether it was a man or a woman....and the funny thing is that we grow up being told our looks won't take us nowhere and that our education and achievements will which is so true but also a paradox considering these type of discussions
@@mskabue this was biggest lie looks is something you just have to support it with brains but looks are very important we are a vain society looks will get you almost everywhere and will open doors for you immensely faster than brains
@@mskabue men do it why can't women brag about their achievements most men will not sleep if they achieve something why should women be expected to behave any less
😂😂at this day and age most women are single moms like it or not, that's what people fail to realize.... I've witnessed married single moms everywhere who fear leaving abusive relationships in the fear of being labeled 'a single mom' instead of just owning it and doing yourself a favour and leaving that man child alone...it gets so much better once you're alone than hiding under a man's shell who's draining g you of your light....I could care less what society labels me😂😂😂as long as I'm happy and my kids are happy why would I care....ladies let not this patriarchal society limit you
if you think about it logically your sons arent going to build either If you buy him $150 Jordan's instead of a Meccano /Lego set ,xbox instead of a crystal growing kit .I mean parents just be following the crowd instead of making smart choices with their kids and by 14 years old he's going to be almost a man ,hormonally . Reward good behaviour but don't raise a follower
That was an indirect attack on black women , she thinks we don't raise good sons and hinder an adult man's progression .Like having kids without consultation ,having too many kids and tolerating anything from him to say you got a man
3:36 Cap cap cap but it says alot about the nature of women😮. 5:39 where are these women at 😂 shid. If you are married drop alike 7:47 men wanted to f**k here come on now 8:43 we dating up over here and where are all the high earning women ? I am call cap
It's not a woman's job to build a man. A man was made to be strong.
We built them already when they were forming in our wombs-that’s more than enough building for a lifetime (literally), and now they need to build for us.
So what is woman's job you can have in comas. . You admit to destroying a man's value
Not if the boy is her son . No wonder everyone hates sign mothers
Thus, their projection of 'strength' onto black women - "STRONG black woman". My question always is, "If I gotta be the "strong" one, then... What TF is the **man** ???"
Even at university, if a man is needs help with projects and stuff i actively avoid helping him because he will pretend he did it on his own and resent your superior knowledge/skill. If you're a nice woman, men will target you to squeeze every benefit out of you.
That part❤️so better be a bitch
@@fisf.2148 ump! Sis, I really do understand your point and frustration. I really do. But respectfully, please let me offer up another suggestive thought that I hope doesn’t trigger you in any negative way.
Unless you are a mind reader you don’t know of the other true intentions. We can be weary of the red flags but at the end of the day, especially when in such the position you are in, which is to be of the utmost help to others to succeed who cares if they take the glory and run. Are you not getting paid to assist already? Something to consider is that you may be doing more of a disservice than you are aware.
Remember, we are all spirit living the human experience. We are all “gatekeepers” to some degree.”
You are playing a very serious spiritual game at this point withholding valuable information that can help another prosperity and the more you help others to achieve the more love and light is giving to you, but you cannot see this if and when you’re not open to it due to your belief system of thinking.
You have been placed in the position to help others succeed in life and it’s not your place to judge who gets that help. Haven’t we experienced such judgement enough?
Depending on your beliefs system and faith will you connect with my suggestive thoughts.
But know that karma is real we receive what we give in life. You may have need for assistance and the gate keeper looks at you and decides that because you look like so and so they will not give you the key 🔑 to your needs.
How does karma affect us all.
Just food for thought 💭 from another perspective.
Much love ❤️ and light 💡
I wish i heard this message 12 years ago
All the girls who went through this and are left ripped off and drained, I'm sending you a hug. We've learnt this lesson the hard way
It’s so true ‼️
And ridiculed daily from the same men
Why boys need to learn never trust women or societies criticism
Boys need to learn lot women's criticism is just lower his value
Im in the same situation i wish i knew this 12 years ago 😅
I was young when my first boyfriend asked for a $50 loan. I already knew at that point I wasn't about that life. Build yourself sis!
A lot of them don't even say thank you. They just disrespect you after.
Don't be supportive of a man in school of you are 30 plus! If you support him, do it verbally, from a distance! Men will get that degree amd marry their dream girl. They will not care about what assignment you did for them, how you helped them with this or that, they may not even invite you to their graduation ! Im telling yall from experience...get the established man, not the in progress man!!!
Right, even while you're doing all those things for them, they will take credit for it and not give you the credit for helping them.
😂 the last guy I talked to was much younger, so I gave him some grace i dropped dude off at work and he ran off for 2 days with a random woman who ended up scamming him. Lil buddy thought he was gonna double back, NO SIR go have fun with shorty.
🎉if 👸 ur ring 💍 finger is naked ur body shouldn't be.
Princess treatment consistently or NO treatment! 24/7/365 no exceptions. helps weed out the losers fast.
I'm 21 and I wanted to 'settle' just coz he provides sweet words and love. I thought if I build him I'll harvest the returns😂I've written down everything we've talked about that made me realize I'm not his dream girl. I'm only the person he managed to get at this point of his life😑I'm now trying to leave.
And we as women have to accept when we have made these mistakes take accountability for it just don't do it again im not nice I'm kind there is a difference.
I have seen what nice will get you I'm just kind and not to everybody
No more “Barbra the builder “2024. Peace with your self is your Currency.
I laugh a lot too. As I encounter the worse situations in life I always choose to focus on the positive and laugh myself to happiness....many might think it's a sign of crazy but it works for me - Proverbs 31:25 says, "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future"
💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾
I love me Mrs sprinkle sprinkle shes one of the realest ❤
Sipping tea and flipping throught this semesters modules for the online unisa degree my man is paying for like🤧👏💅✍
Enjoy it sis😂
I had a friend who won't leave a man that she had built for 10+ years. They eventually broke up and to this day he still is struggling and couch hopping
My mom was a builder. Her bf cheated and didn’t have a job for five years. She once got token to court for HIS back child support. She always chose him and 20 years later he still doesn’t have a job still begging to live with her. She is a lot more bitter and far less attractive.
That's what we're trying to avoid ladies....let's protect ourselves..I always say better no man than a snake man
I sooooo needed all this advice 8 years ago. Thank you for doing this series that way I can give the advice to the women around me especially my daughter one day. ❤
You are so welcome!
I let a man live for free with me for years because i felt sorry for him ! And he had the cheek to ask to borrow money as well on a weekly basis don’t do it 😅
The question is: Why do we want these disloyal big babies?
We don't even need them to begin with
💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻. Wow, a lot to reflect on 😢
OK, I truly don't want to ruffle anyone's feathers because it seems like a lot of women have been hurt, myself included, but not by being involved with a fixer upper or a potential.
I'm just sharing a different perspective.
When it comes to men, we have to remember that they are just as human as we women are. We are being traditionally taught that men are supposed to be strong but then turn around and desire and expect them to express and understand our empathy and need for it. Many men are reared not to cry or show their true pain, and this has caused a major breakdown in communication and cognitive distortion in relationship.
Many men desire to be heard and to work with someone they can grow and build with.
When we love someone in the most mature way then we understand and accept with responsibility and accountability for self first that we are taking a chance on allowing the other into our life just as they are doing the same.
Really, at the end of the day, we can't help who our heart goes out to love, but we do have control over how we choose to love them. There's dog ass women and men out here. No one really never ever knows anyone 100%.
Take accountability and responsibility for your own thoughts, which create your feelings/emotions, which create your actions/reactions, which will always give you your life results.
Keep in mind that when you give expecting a return on your investment, this is a "Whats love got to do with it" kind of thing.
Real and true love wants love to be happy with or without them. But we're taught only a darn fool thinks like that.
If you actually read all of my comments, I hope it doesn't piss you off but instead may be a different perspective ❤
I love when you say we have control over how we choose to love our partners....I get what you're saying no woman has an issue growing and building with a man but the issue is the man...because it's never guaranteed that he'll return the same energy and it's too big of a risk if you ask me that I'd not advise anyone to take....my point is that most of these lazy men want you to do all the work as they enjoy the ride and reap all the benefits and their value increases while they diminish ours....my point is,,, if you choose to support him let it be mutual and let him be somewhere already not at the starting line...hell no!!!
The only man you should wholeheartedly build should be your son..
@@mskabue your response is appreciated. But to add, we as parents, especially mothers, must be careful about how we rear our children because we can create the lazy mindset monster ourselves. We can over compensate and then let them loose in society having a mindset that others are supposed to be this way, or do certain things for them and give them something just because the other may love them taking another for granted. I see it happening many parents rear their children up more so for themselves and not for society. And then wonder why themselves or their child can’t have, sustain or maintain relationship.
I agree, relationships should be 50/50. We should know at least before jumping into serious relationship if rather or not we have a house husband or wife.
Lastly, many of us allow society, desperation, loneliness, anxiety, anger, and fear and depression to pick our partners.
We often ignore the red flags 🚩.
Thanks for sharing your message.
❤️ & 💡
@@CreativeSoulsVibe yeah it's very important to raise your kids into self-sufficient adults and a major part of this is empowering them so that they don't depend on others....whether boys or girls...and also having healthy relationships with them so that they can be emotionally mature...and healthy individuals all round even in relationships not bitter, condescending, traumatized etc....its time we broke these generational curses and traumas and also inadequacies....but also as adults it reaches a time where you gotta do the healing work yourself but the issue is that most men don't do the work
@mskabue This is the life of men always building usually with a bad foundation
If they have the best life good i congratulate I have made mistakes i did that with my kids daddy and trust me i will never in life help build a man no know if i want to buy u something i will but im not paying your bills i refuse to do i don't live life anymore and trust me i learned from it the hard way
We all have learned the hard way...let's just never be those women🤢
I made major mistake there I'm just woman enough to own it but here is news flash I will never do it again
@@mskabue yes we do and when u own it and accept u made a bad move trust me you will do much better trust me I know ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️💋💋💋💋💞💞❤️❤️
Like with may of your other videos: interesting topic, good clips. But the part at the end when you give your opinion is unnecessary long. It gets repetitive and meandering. When you state your opinion regarding the topic of the video try to keep it short and to the point. Better save the different thoughts for new video ideas.
Oh my gosh, the criticism is SooooooO unnecessary, it's not constructive at all. As she stated at the beginning of the video, she would give her personal take on it. If its not to your liking fast forward and keep it moving. I enjoy hearing her personal take on these topics, almost like having a friend give their opinion while im working ir doing house chores.....#keepdoingyou ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@@FELIZEVEE thankyou....it's so encouraging to hear this ❤️😭...
Gal ongea hata 3 hrs kama shera tutakuskiza❤❤
@@FELIZEVEE YT algorythm notizes If people watch till the end. Keeping a viewer's attention is important if you wish to expand your channel. I made the effort to comment in a rational, clear and polite way, without attacking or demeaning language. How was it not constructive? I can state my observations, just as you can.
@FELIZEVEE she might have a short attention span and instead of looking for that type of content she is here trying to shorten Ms. Kabue's. That's not how it works 😅
But why are achievements masculine and beauty feminine ? Have y'all asked yourself that like why being successful is masculine this stuff is just tayaring much sometimes who came up with this rules ?
Yessss yess you have a great question here....yeah why should we play safe when it comes to our hard earned achievements...but I guess it's how we've been conditioned by this patriarchal society...we need to have this conversation on a serious note
@@mskabue exactly mi these days I get tayad of this masculine and feminine energy shenanigans. All these are just socialisation by patriarchy and am tayad if being successful is masculine I will embrace it
@@nemotheo1629 but I also get it there are women who really rub in their achievements but I think this is annoying whether it was a man or a woman....and the funny thing is that we grow up being told our looks won't take us nowhere and that our education and achievements will which is so true but also a paradox considering these type of discussions
@@mskabue this was biggest lie looks is something you just have to support it with brains but looks are very important we are a vain society looks will get you almost everywhere and will open doors for you immensely faster than brains
@@mskabue men do it why can't women brag about their achievements most men will not sleep if they achieve something why should women be expected to behave any less
That 1st lady in the red is the truth!
Its a mother's job build her son. abd you wonder why everyone hates single mothers
😂😂at this day and age most women are single moms like it or not, that's what people fail to realize.... I've witnessed married single moms everywhere who fear leaving abusive relationships in the fear of being labeled 'a single mom' instead of just owning it and doing yourself a favour and leaving that man child alone...it gets so much better once you're alone than hiding under a man's shell who's draining g you of your light....I could care less what society labels me😂😂😂as long as I'm happy and my kids are happy why would I care....ladies let not this patriarchal society limit you
So negging was projection
if you think about it logically your sons arent going to build either If you buy him $150 Jordan's instead of a Meccano /Lego set ,xbox instead of a crystal growing kit .I mean parents just be following the crowd instead of making smart choices with their kids and by 14 years old he's going to be almost a man ,hormonally . Reward good behaviour but don't raise a follower
9:00
What if you're ugly, are you supposed to stay masculine?
No one is ugly until they hurt others
💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽
💃
So breaking men do so they stay with low value women
💃💃💃💃💃
9:13
Only if he's a godly man with integrity and living in Africa😂
🎉how 🤔 why wm support Colorist steve after treating the ex-wife mary like trash 🗑 I'll never understand? Nope 🙅♀️
Child babies do more build a man then a woman.
So bring down a man's value and complain about low value dusties
What do you mean????
That was an indirect attack on black women , she thinks we don't raise good sons and hinder an adult man's progression .Like having kids without consultation ,having too many kids and tolerating anything from him to say you got a man
3:36 Cap cap cap but it says alot about the nature of women😮. 5:39 where are these women at 😂 shid.
If you are married drop alike
7:47 men wanted to f**k here come on now 8:43 we dating up over here and where are all the high earning women ? I am call cap